The Novice Dominant

Posted in bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Abuse, BDSM Slave training, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, Dominant in Training, Novice Dominant, oral sex, sex, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Submissive being used, sucking cock with tags , , , , on February 16, 2020 by thekinkyworldofvile

You watched Fifty Shades and when you woke up the next morning you were ready to dominate the world.  You want a slave to serve you but most of all you are thinking only about sex. Your mind is racing about the thought of endless pussy.

You join all the kinky websites such as fetlife , you create a profile with nothing written and post a Dick pic of yourself. This is because you think your dick will draw women to you but in reality you are clueless.

You begin to send out random messages like Hey whats up? A few days go by and your mail box is empty and you cannot figure out why. You end up liking hundreds of pictures and you are following hundreds but your mail box is empty. You post in a few groups and get blasted for running of at your mouth. This is because you wrote a check with your battle ship mouth that your tugboat ass could not cash. You are angry at people because after all fetlife is a kinky site right?

If you by chance start a conversation with a experienced dominant you brush off most of what he says and you continue down the same road because your mind is driven by kinky sex and pussy.

Even before fifty shades you dated some but for the most you remained single. Probably the life of the party but in reality you do not have very many true friends. Your opinion of women is very low and have used through out your years and at times even abusive.

You are the predator , you are the danger and when and if you do get a chance to hook up with a novice submissive you expect sex and you take it. This does not make the moment consensual it makes it rape. You get angry when you message and there is no reply and still you do not understand the damage you have done.

Even if you are the harmless dominant or want to be dominant you still do not listen because pussy is running your life and you think that the women you contact are only interested in sex.

There are some who want to be dominant , there are some who want a slave but your just not cut out for the lifestyle and yet you will blame everyone else. You refuse to take a few minutes and look at yourself in the mirror to see the real you.

These habits are probably stemming from your childhood , either a single parent , or from abusive parents. Maybe or maybe not towards you, you could of just witnessed the abuse. Either way instead of getting help you continue tyo walk the destructive path.

Then we have the married vanilla who watched fifty shades or maybe not but you are stuck in a dull sexless marriage. Sex maybe if you are lucky once a month or less, and you are sex driving. When you do have sex your wife feels like it is a chore and while you are fucking her she acts like you are the king of the world. You crawl off in about 3 or 4 minutes and it is back to the same o same o.  You want to fuck your wife in the ass so bad but nope she will not go there, or you want her to suck your dick and nope she will not go there, but you knew this before you married.

The dominant who are new experience something a new submissive or slave does and it is called sub frenzy. Their mind is traveling a hundred miles an and will listen to no one when asking for advice. The subs end up getting hurt in some form be it physical or mental. The new dominant ends up in short lived relationships trying to figure out what the fuck happened. The new dominant is focused on two things and two things only and that would be pussy and kinky sex.

Growing up there was one thing on my mind and that was pussy. While in school I was known for being kinky and sadistic so my options were mainly open to one girl. As I grew older I knew something was wrong but could not pin point it and it was not until my late 40’s did I realize I had it all wrong.

The novice dominant is much like the novice submissive, there is one speed and that is wide open. There is no advice that will work and will continue asking for advice until they get the answer they want.

I was speaking with someone the other day about sex, and I explained it is my belief many who are new to the lifestyle or maybe not but many of the subs out there have sex because of pressure. The submissive believes it is what is expected. There could be some fear as well, the fear of losing out on a relationship. Most of you know what happens when you tell a male no to sex right? Then the begging comes in, the excuse on how the two will be bonded, how it will make the relationship stronger.  Then once you spread your legs it is game over you are had.

The dawn of the new dominant ages ranging from 18 to about 38 or so and at times older. The definition of BDSM has changed a great deal, the lack of respect, the lack of responsibility, the lack of seeking a true relationship and the list goes on and on. Then you meet a dom and ten minutes into the conversation he pulls out a collar from the local pet store and wants to own you, well for the next week or so.

You can find me on Fetlife

I_Vile_Own_Her

Vile

 

 

 

Training A Slave To Fit Your Needs

Posted in Anger Issues, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave training, Collars, communication, Consistency, Dominant and Submissive, eternity collar, fetlife, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, owning a slave, Slave, Submission, Submissive, training your slave, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , on February 4, 2020 by thekinkyworldofvile

You have to have great appreciation for your slave ,in a way you have to love and cherish probably more than your slave will love you. The slave in today’s world probably works a full time job , then comes home and another job begins. However the work at home is more than likely more intense once home than at work.

Depending on the master there is a breaking process, some are extreme while some not so much but you have to be able to bring out the humble that is within the slave. My philosophy is if you break it you gotta fix it.

I have mentioned in other post the importance of getting to know the slave, the importance of knowing the slave better than family and friends and better than the slave knows themselves.

Knowing who you are , how much control you want, how much responsibility  you want, and how much care. Are you strict ? Are you easy going? Are you looking to take full control of someones life? Are you more service orientated, into humiliation, pain?

While sex is not my main driver in a M’s relationship  it does play a part and sex has to be compatible. Both have to be on the same page and both have to talk about sexual needs before entering a relationship.

If you are going to put rules and protocols in place you need to follow through on a daily basis. If you are going to take full ownership there is no what I call downtime , while I do allow my slave to have days just so she can unwind , relax and clear her head, my days are much different. I have no what I call true friends , I do have friends but no one I can really confide in , maybe sit down for a couple of beers or have a in dept  conversation about training. One of the subjects I have been studying for sometime is hypnosis but this is only a me thing. I have practiced on my slave and have been successful there is really no one to talk to. In the community I know a great deal many people but talking to someone and having to worry about something getting out is not something I want to deal with. I actually spend more time speaking with what I do call friends who live overseas , yea I know weird but it works.

I was really young when my kink first came to light , maybe 13 or 14 with a girl my same age. I spoke about her probably seven years ago and I am going to correct what I called her. I called her the school whore but the word whore was really pretty bad so I am going to replace it with the word slut. Just because someone is a slut is not a bad thing , it just means they have a huge sex drive, maybe slut is a word that does not fit but anyway.

Beverley was the first girl I tied up , spanked fucked and face fucked, yea she talked so I did not date very much while in school but she was a regular hookup for several years. The more we saw each other the more extreme we were even to the point of fisting, and wow the first time my hand vanished deep inside her pussy wow! I remember once my hand was fully inside and opening it and feeling all around inside her pussy , it was just amazing.

So while I was kinky and I wanted to be in control , I had no idea what I was doing. At that time is was hunt , fuck and move on.

To the slave, why do you want to be a slave ? What was it that drew you to this lifestyle? Something you read , maybe talking to someone, a movie? What type a slave are you ? Are you more about service? Are you a slave but a masochist ? This is something you have to figure out to insure you find the right match because not one master is the same.

Questions that are seldom asked of the slave is about health , be it physical or the most important mental. Medications the slave is on and why they are on them and what they are for. You as a master are responsible for doing research and it should give you a greater understanding on just how far you can go when it comes to play and that being physical and mental to include pain. If you break it you may not be ale to fix it and you could find yourself answering questions to law enforcement.

As a slave you have to have a need not a want because if it is just a want then while you are training there will be some internal fighting and will case you to resist to a point or you may find you are objecting to most.

Being mentally prepared having your mind right knowing you are about to step off a cliff and expect someone you trust to catch you.

The master must know the slave , the master must know the slave better than the slave knows themselves. You have to know the slaves limitations and something many look over are medications. What type of medications is the slave taking? Does the slave suffer from any type of depression? If so then this may alter your training program some. Remember if you break it you have to fix it and depression may not be something you can fix. I have found over the years those who do suffer from some type of depression are much better suited to be a service slave. Working with a masochist is this a area you have experience in?  The truth not many who are masochist are slaves just as not many who are sadist are actual master. Their pleasure comes from inflicting pain and humiliation.

Training a slave is really not as difficult as many think but it does take a lot of work and going into a relationship you really have to have a game plan. Some ask me about rules when they first meet a slave and my answer is you cannot give out rules until you know the slave. Rules are for the betterment of the slave and this does not include not being allowed to wear panties. I have found over the years that protocols can actually take the place of many rules although some see both as the same.

The one thing many look over is negotiating the relationship and if you do not it can cause a lot of confusion and trouble because you just cannot make shit up as you go.

I have standards when it comes to upkeep. I dress nice when out but I expect my slave to look 100 times better at all times. It is the masters responsibility on how the slave presents their selves when out. A slave is a direct reflection of the master and the masters training.

I had a list, a list of my needs when it comes to ownership and if the answer was no to anything on my list the conversation was over. The slaves needs are different, you have clothing, food, and a place to sleep anything else is a privilege and privileges can be earned or taken away.

Negotiations should include how much control the master wants to take, how much freedom to take and give. Sex is on your terms and your terms only after all it is about you the master. The slave must agree to your terms and speak the word I agree out loud not just by nodding. If you like anal sex and the slave does not and is not willing to compromise then the slave is not for you. If the slave does not swallow and it is a requirement for you , then the slave is not the right one for you. Do not give in to any of your needs.

The slave will come back with a list of needs besides the three basic. You the master must agree, if you say no and the slave does not agree then the slave is not the right one for you.

The slave has rights , the slave has the right to be able to communicate openly 24/7 to include waking you at night. The slave has the right to communicate freely without being judged and you the master must listen. This includes during your busy day, if the slaves sends a text you are to respond it only takes a few seconds.

A part time master cannot expect full time submission.

Ok you are taking a human and you are changing their train of thought, you are changing their habits, you are changing their needs. Needs in my eyes are four simple things. Food, water , clothing and a place to live. These are absolute needs

Training is about being consistent hourly, daily, weekly and monthly and so on. Once you begin the training there must be no interruptions. My thoughts on LDR these are extremely  hard because if you cannot reach out and touching someone you really do not have any control over someone, you have the control you are being told you have and nothing more..

You have a vision on how you see your daily life , you envision your home, you are the master , living with your slave. One thing, if you are looking for a slave then look for a slave. Your search should not include a submissive or a baby girl, a brat nor a switch. You are looking for a slave and nothing less.

One of the first words out of your mouth should be privilege. Everything you allow the slave to do or have is a privilege and privileges can be taken away at anytime. This is one area of the relationship the slave has control, privileges are in the slaves court and the slave controls the outcome.

You as the master having a clear game plan and knowing what your expectations are is a must. You can not just go in winging it or playing by ear. Once you start training it is really hard to make changes and this is mainly because you have already set the pace.

Strip, standing right there and strip as she walked through the door. Hand me you cell , your purse. In today’s the cell has become a part of life so allowing the slave to check a couple of times a day is important , maybe family friends, emails and so on but limited time.

You may sit here and here but not here or here. You are not allowed at anytime to sit on my furniture , you do not have that right. See what I did there? I have taking what once was normal freedoms and taken them away. Everything in a slaves life is a privilege and privileges  can be taken away at anytime.

Dinner time you may sit on the floor next to me , you do not have the right to sit on a chair, you are the slave remember? You will not begin to eat before I take my first bite,then and only then may you begin to eat and after the first bite you will thank me.

When you sit you will sit with both legs closed and hands placed on your lap, you will never cross your legs , you are not permitted to do so. When you stand and you are speaking or not your hands will be clasped in the front hanging in front of you.

You will ask permission to sit on my floor , you will ask permission to stand , to go to the bathroom , to get a drink or water , to shower and to enter the bed.

Here is the key as masters we can only make a informed decision based on the information given to us, if you do not communicate your feelings I cannot read your mind. If you ask a slave a direct question you expect a direct answer, if something goes wrong and the slave did not communicate the problem is clearly the slaves fault.

I have three main protocols in place while out. Protocol one, the slave may speak freely, two the slave may speak when spoken to and three speaking is not permitted.

My slave does not wear clothes while at home, she is not permitted  and does not have that right. If requested such as cooking or taking the dogs out I allow.

In the beginning of your relationship after you have agreed to enter one,  Use your slave this is your right. Guide the slave to the bedroom place them on the edge of the bed and tell them to spread. You fuck , bust a nut and walk away after you have finished. You and use often many times without saying a word. I have my slave trained I just tap on the back of the head and she knows it is time to suck dick, if I tap twice she knows to go all the way down and hold it until I grab a hand full of hair and pull her up.  If I want pussy I take pussy if I want the ass I take the ass but I do without giving any indication until I start.

All of the above is done in repetition , hourly, daily , weekly and so on.  You must remain consistent and what you have done over the past 90 days or so is changing the slaves mindset and taking old habits and replacing with habits you want in place. Just because a slave makes a mistake but not mean the slave should be punished after all the slave is human and even masters makes mistakes.  Punishments do not always include physical punishment. There is a mindset that if a slave breaks a rule which seldom happens then we must beat them.

The Collar is very sacred to me and I hold it above a wedding ring. The collar shows ownership , you own your slave , you own property. While negotiating find out what kind of collar would be suitable for everyday wear.

Myself I use a Turian collar  which for the most is Gorean and it locks with a allen screw. I am the only one with the wrench to remove it. Arianna has worn it for almost 7 years and it has never been off her neck. She wears to work and is out in public and in 7 years has been asked about it 3 or 4 times. She simply replies it is like a wedding ring and nothing else is said.

A collar is earned not giving , if it is just giving there is no appreciation

I do not believe in under consideration collars or training collars. I did make a leather one I put on Arianna when we went to events so others would know she was taking. Many today run down to the local pet store and purchase a dog collar and give it with no meaning. Most wear the collar as a trophy or to be able to stand out , maybe play.

Leave sex off the table until you get to know the slave, as a matter of fact let the slave bring the topic up when it comes to sex, kink and bondage as well as fetishes.

Shut up and listen

Start with a blank canvas and build what you need.

Fetlife you can find me

I_Vile_Own_Her

 

Vile

 

 

 

Men’s Number One Weakness

Posted in bdsm, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, pussy, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Uncategorized with tags , , , , on January 27, 2020 by thekinkyworldofvile

Men’s number one weakness , would that be stupidity ? We are men we do stupid stuff , we cannot help it because it is in our DNA , but there has to be a stopping point. I know some men who would crawl naked through a mile of crushed glass to hear Brittany   Spears fart through a walkie talkie.  This is the truth, it is not about the relationship , building a relationship , or looking for something long term. It is about the Pussy and nothing more.

Lets take BDSM , this relationship is one of the fastest relationships you can enter and why is that? One of the first questions a Dominant will ask a slave is are you Bi and for many if not Bi that is a deal breaker or if not then the subject is brought up at a later date and often forced. What is the shortest skirt you own ? I am not sure why but this seems to matter. Do you go out in public with no bra or panties ? Again I am not sure what this has to do with building a relationship.  Do you enjoy anal sex oh and there is do you swallow ? Do not get me wrong compatibility is what helps make a relationship go round and round but this is within the first 30 minutes of just meeting and most of the time it is on line.

Now from my prospective , how I did and do things , please do not get me wrong because at one time I was like the ass above but in my defense I was in my late 20’s. Once I hit my 30’s those questions became obsolete and really did not seem to matter.

Anyone who ask me for advice on meeting a new slave my advice is sit down shut the fuck up and listen. Let the slave talk about anything and everything, just let them ramble and while their mouth is moving you are listening to every word and processing the information you are being giving.  What you are doing or what you want to do is get in their head and in order to do this you have to know, what their habits are, how they think and why they think the way they do. You want to know about their favorite music, food, movies , games , vacations and family and friends. If you know none of the above you cannot begin training or effective training and you just bullshit your way through it.

Leave sex off the table because if you just start out fucking that will be what consumes your whole relationship and it will end as fast as it started. Look those who are subs and slaves are use to being used , many believe sex is what is expected. Ok now don’t get me wrong because I love sex , I love getting head, head is my favorite pass time and although I average about 2 hours a week of just getting blown I would like to increase that by another hour or so. So I love to fuck but sex is on my terms when and how I want it, I do not ask and I am not much into foreplay ehh maybe sometimes but for the most I crawl on top bust a nut and get the fuck off. My foreplay is when Arianna is sleeping and she uncovers and I am looking at her , this is also when I take my best pictures but anyway I start with her tits and spend a hour or so just fingering before I need to sleep then I am on top, I do not say a word she just spreads.

I hear guys talking oh man when I am with a sub I love to make her cum as much as I can , I was with a sub sometime ago and I made her cum 30 times in 15 minutes .  Image result for stare emoji

Yea man I am sure you did and most if any was to support your inflated ego. See the problem is you still have pussy on your mind. Pussy has control over your what litte brain you do have and the bitch will use sex against you. Then sex is on their terms and not yours because you are a begging little bitch.

To train someone you have to know someone , if you do not know you cannot train. The submission is earned through trust and the willingness to protect and guide. The slave should look at you as their best friend , the one they can confide in without judgement. The slave should have 24 hour access to you and nothing less.

A part time Dominant cannot expect full time submission, but those who are not true the front only last a month or two before it becomes to much work and it falls into a mostly vanilla relationship except for the barking orders when the dom feels like they want something.

You just cannot sit around barking orders and expect the slave to feel appreciated , or even the feeling of being wanted.

Training a slave , and think about this, you are changing someone way of thinking and changing habits to fit your needs. This can only be done if you truly know they slave , this can only be done with effort on your part.

I explain to up and coming masters you have to be able to get inside ones head, you have to truly understand them. You have to know how they think and why they think the way they do. The truth is not one has ever asked me how to do just that, I always get the answer yes.

Men do not understand just how weak they look when most would crawl through a mile of broken glass just to get some pussy, but and there is a but. Men talk and men brag about how they nailed a bitch , how they treated her like a whore, yea this is true just like women talk, eh probably not as out spoken as men are.

I really think this shit started with Adam and Eve.

 

You can reach me on Fetlife

 

I_Vile_Own_Her

 

Vile

 

 

Wow People Are Now Getting Emails

Posted in bdsm, Uncategorized on December 31, 2019 by thekinkyworldofvile

WordPress has forgiving me , incredible

 

Vile

WordPress Has Shut Me Down

Posted in bdsm on December 19, 2019 by thekinkyworldofvile

I guess all good things come to an end. Going back to 2012 I felt I had words I had the need to share. I wanted to share my life experience , I wanted to share my growth , my mistakes but most of all prove that a couple living as master and slave was and is not about abuse.

WordPress has blocked me from Google and other web- browsers and when I reach out to find why wordpress has blocked me it comes down to because I do not pay for service .

Now it is not that I do not wish to upgrade but reaching out to wordpress about how to process works I get no reply because I have to upgrade before I can get any assistance .

I have spent thousands of hours writing and reaching out to people , and for the most my words were welcomed.

I will give you a quick example 2 years ago I averaged between 1600 and 2000 visitors a day. Today 15 maybe 20. In my settings now google is not even a option..

So thank you WordPress for being open minded but I am being sarcastic.  I have reached out 25 or 30 times with no reply..

So in the end all good things must come to a end. I will leave my blog up just in case someone may find it helpful

 

You can find me on  Fetlife I_Vile_Own_Her

Vile

 

Protocols by RJ Rubel PhD

Posted in Uncategorized on December 8, 2019 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is good info

Living With X

I am currently reading “Protocols – Handbook for the female slave” by Robert J Rubel, PhD.  The thing that strikes me is how much of what is in this book, we already do.

Take the dining protocol for example.  A slave serves from the left and takes from the right. For slaves just getting used to this, I always ask what direction the words in a book are presented to their eyes.. left to right.. in English anyway..  Food is presented the same way.  That’s a little trick to help you remember…

I suspect some of the protocols we have acquired are actually handed down from high society etiquette from centuries past.  interesting point that…

Some of the forms like standing at attention might have roots in the military.  A Master or owner may command silence with a gesture you’ve seen in every commando movie.. Arm raised straight up and…

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Our Anniversary

Posted in Anniversary, Arianna, bdsm, Honeymoon, Uncategorized on November 25, 2019 by thekinkyworldofvile

Wow time flies when life is good and truth be known I have never been the romantic type. I am a more pat you on your head and say good girl and while I am not romantic every for our Anniversary I try to do something special.

This year I picked the Hard Rock Hotel in Daytona Beach. I called ahead and announced it was our anniversary and while I knew something special was going to happen I had no idea until we entered the room. While staying at the Hard Rock the staff treats you like royalty and family and the rooms are really nice.

The look on my slaves face was priceless and I probably had the same look but I was more interested in her reaction. So we chilled for a while and ate some of the red velvet cake that was provided and chilled for a while. We did a little site seeing but we had both been to Daytona  before.

The next night was a surprise as we prepared to go out for dinner at Hyde park Steakhouse. The steaks we had were aged for 38 days and we ordered the Bone in Ribeye and if was so tender you did not even need a knife. The setting was very quite and pretty plush, but the waiter kinda killed it but we only say him twice and our drinks were filled by someone else.  After we arrived home the steak house called and asked how we enjoyed our stay, now that was awesome.

My life is good , seven years now and as each day passes life gets better. Each morning I wake , I know I have one more day.

Last November we purchased a home not a new one but was built in 1999. I had thoughts when I was younger about where I would live when I retired. Our house is nested at the end of a cul-de-sac our neighbors to the left are gone 6 or 7 months out of the year , to the right we speak and say Hi but that is the extent. The community has a 18 hole golf course and I have plans of learning. The community has a restaurant with a full bar , two pools one indoor and one outdoor. I like quite and peaceful , sitting on the back Lani and thinking of years past and how I got to where I am today. Most memories are good and while I have made mistakes and taking advantage of some I have no regrets. I have tried over the years to make good from my mistakes. Some welcomed and there were some who did not , I tried and I am at peace.