Imagine A Perfect World

Imagine a world without any problems , or imagine a world with the perfect partner , the perfect submissive , the perfect slave , is it possible ? Imagine having zero drama , imagine no arguing , imagine receiving perfect service with no complaints , again is it possible ? Absolutely it is and more but with all of these rewards comes a little work.

The submissive or slave you have chosen to serve you was born to serve just as you the Dominant , Master or Owner were born to lead . Little did we know it would lead us down the road of kink.

Just because you meet a slave does not mean the slave is meant to be with you. Both have to have somethings in common outside of the land of kink and service , if not kink will be the only thing you have in common and the relationship will be short lived.

Knowing the slave , knowing the slave inside and out is very important before taking that step.  You have to be able to form a relationship based on friendship first , then slowly introducing kink.

If you start with kink then you have nothing else to build on , making conversation hard , making communication hard and it makes it hard for the slave to communicate when the time comes.

Nothing comes easy , everything we have we all had to work for. In a relationship if we do not work for it , at some point and time it will fall apart. Any type of relationship requires regular maintenance , if we do not in the end it will fail.

Learning to communicate is not an easy task , we all know how to talk and hear but to be able to communicate and listen requires practice but most of all it is something you have to be passionate about.

The problem with most D’s or M’s relationships just starting , is the lack of compatibility. If either have a need or needs and you give one or more up during the negotiations , in the end you will not be happy. Just because you are submissive does not mean you have found the right Dom and you can reverse that as well. As humans it is a need to have a companion and at times we tend to settle for less knowing its not going to work.

Try to picture a perfect world , your own world , a world you have complete control over , then you add the perfect relationship and both are attainable.

Meeting leaving sex out of the conversation is a must , and while it is hard to do it will prevent you from reaching your goal.  Knowing who you are trying to form a relationship with is most important. The problem is most men see someone who is submissive as weak and that is far from the truth. Men are natural hunters , the hunt then the kill and its over you move to the next.

I cannot stress enough on how much training will make a difference. One of the first words out of a Doms mouth is I am going to train you , then nothing happens. Training is mental not just for the submissive but the dominant as well. The training you used on the last will not work with any future relationships. The personality’s are different , the needs are different and the structure needed.

Making your slave your number one priority , the slave comes first and yes before family and friends. The life you have always wanted is right in front of you but now there are things that will come to an end. The life you have always wanted is kneeling right before you , hands face up laying in lap. It is you who has made the decision to take ownership.

Molding the slave to fit your needs and wants can happen but as with any relationship you have to put work into it , but living a Master and slave relationship will be much different. While in a vanilla relationship you did not train your partner.

You are going to mold your slave , walking , talking , how the slave stands and sits , even when it comes to sex. You will control how the slave dresses if clothed , hair color and nails.

I have always been a firm believer to train a slave you have to be able to reach out and touch , be able to look into the slaves eyes , the eyes tell all , the eyes tell the truth. I have not seen to many LDR relationships really work. Although today you have email , text , face time , you are still not in 100% control. Again I did not say all , just from my experience.

During the negotiations you present your needs and wants . Since you have I would assume giving the two a great deal of thought then you should stick to your guns. Once you give up one need you have become fair game and you will lose other needs or wants.

When out at local events there are those who take notice. When out I have 3 protocols that are followed. 1 do not speak to anyone even if spoken to , 2 speak when spoken to and 3 you are free to speak and have fun. People take notice how the slave stands , sits , how one is dressed , hair makeup. My slave is a direct reflection of me and my training , and when out my slave dresses like she is walking the red carpet.

I do not have to explain myself when I maybe change a rule or add a protocol but my slave may ask for clarification.

You the Dominant can have the life you want but as with anything nothing is free.

Vile

 

 

 

The Slave

Sitting here listening to Bret Michael’s jamming with friends , and it fucking rocks. Music is a passion of mine , it is my release , it is my time to chill , gather my thoughts , enjoy my own little world.  Ted Nugent , KISS , Aerosmith , and some country at the top of my list Kid Rock. I love the cheesy kung fu movies that comes on Thursday nights. I am a huge news fanatic so if there is something you want to know just ask.

I am very laid back for the most , I have never raised my voice or lost my temper towards my property. This is not to say I am a push over because I am not , I speak my mind no matter where I am or who I am with.

I am a Buddhist , I have learned to channel my anger but as with any man or human there is a limit. At one time I had a very bad temper , I drank a lot , you could hand me a bunch of pills  and I would not even ask what they were I would just take them. I tried to smoke all the pot in the world but I failed. I would smoke and someone would just grow more. I was on a down hill spiral with not a care about tomorrow or the future.

A Dom who has a temper is not a Dom he is a abuser and nothing more. A man who hits a woman out of anger is a pussy because he will not hit anyone who will not fight back. A Dom who will not allow you to ask questions and want answers is not a Dom. A Dom who does not allow open communication is not a Dom…

However that road of destruction ended around November 1986. October and November I lost my first two jobs after my exit from the US Army. I went cold turkey I stopped everything at one time not looking back… I thought for sure I would of had some type of withdraws but that was not the case, however I did lose most of my friends or I assumed they were friends…

At this time I was living in a small town called canton Ga. It had changed a lot being gone for ten years. Most of the people I knew had moved or changed so much we no longer had anything in common…

My Dominance is a gift and I mean that. A gift means I am taking time out of my life and offering a gift. My gift I am setting my time and life to the side and offering you security , I am offering a sanctuary of peace no drama , no arguing . I am offering you respect , I am offering you me. I am offering you a open door 24/7 , I am offering you communication 24/7. I am offering you stability , I am offering you protection. I will allow you to grow and I will conform to your needs. I will take the time out of my life to train you to fit my needs. I will not take advantage of you , I will not mislead you , I will admit my mistakes. I will offer more than I take but most of all I will always put you first.

Wow! looking over the list and it could of continued I am sure with enough thought. I just wanted to crack the door open and let people take a peak inside.

Both dominance and submission is a gift both have much to offer and prove. I am of course speaking of the beginning steps in a new relationship.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master/slave_(BDSM)

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.

I am at a later date going to speak about our triad , we now live as three and while there could be some improvement things are really going well. My time training is limited due to my work but Arianna has stepped up to the plate and is offering guidance .

The Slave has a different mindset than a submissive. A submissive can and has the right to say NO. The submissive can impose limits on the relationship. The submissive can have the choice of when and when not to submit.

The word Slave , the word ownership , the word property. We all know owning a slave is not in any way legal but it is a mindset. The slave kneels holds her hands out and says I am yours to take and use.

You have to want it , you have to need and crave, it has to be in your blood. You have to live, dream and walk with this deep need and desire.

Arianna is a very unique Slave , during her training there was no rejection , there was no resistance, I could see in her eyes she had a hunger. To this day she continues to seek ways to submit more to give more. Everyday I grow with her everyday my respect grows. As my needs change Arianna conforms , but as she changes I conform to meet her needs.

Giving yourself without a thought having that feeling of being completely owned. Willing to be trained to fit someones needs and wants. Being used as a sexual object at the drop of a hat. You can be loved but in the end you are owned property.

Now I sit looking back over the years and thinking about the transformation , thinking about the growth. Watching someones habits change, watching needs change. More than willing to follow rules , protocols and understand there are consequences for her actions. To this day Arianna continues to search and find ways to submit more , she has that need, it is something she craves.

You the Slave must be in the right frame of mind and have a understanding what is about to take place. You must be willing to have over your mind and body and be willing to hand over complete control without question.

Are you Domestic more service orientated ? Are you just going to be used sexually ? Are you a Masochist used for pain? Or are you a mixture of all rolled into one?

You also must be giving a clear understanding what is expected of you , what your training will consist of , how long your training will be. You will want to know what the final goal is.

Trust is the main factor in building a Master / Slave relationship. The slave knowing once she or he agrees to the terms negotiated during the process.

You have to know most of your rights will be stripped away from you. You must know you and your body will be used , without warning. You will be taken when and how your Master chooses.

However and there is a however , you should still be allowed to see friends and family , a slave needs what I call down time. A time to relax and breath , to be able to clear the mind. A time to reflect on past and future.

We as Masters and Dominants take and we must give back more than we take. Probably two or three times a week I tell both Arianna and L that I really appreciate everything they both do. At time I do help out as well. On my days off I cook and at times I even jump in and do a few dishes.

A Slave is not your maid although the slave will be giving chores to do , A slave is not your mom. I pickup behind myself. If I use something I put it back. I do not demand dinner be done at a certain time, both know when I take lunch , If I am going to be late they eat before me.

Many just sit back and look for reasons to punish and my question is why? We can just sit back and find something wrong and the first thing that most grab is a belt or paddle.

Although I run a strict house punishing is something I do not look forward to, just as a parent feels bad for punishing a child.

We as humans , Masters and Dominants make mistakes maybe not on a daily basis but we do. Slaves and submissive’s make mistakes as well but nothing more could be more devastating known they have failed.

As with the 7 types of Submissives there are just as many slaves , but also there are just as many Dominants or Masters..

The service slave is more geared towards service , cleaning , cooking , and keeping things in order. Although sex does play a part service is their main goal. Just knowing their Master is pleased gives them pleasure.

The sex slave can be a little service orientated but is geared more at being used as a sex object , at times no holes barred. The sex slave gets off more knowing they have pleased than them getting off. Most sex slaves will conform to what pleases the Master and urge those actions more.

The Masochist in most cases is neither just as a full blown sadist. Very little structure , very few rules, it is all about the pain and the pleasure the sadist gets out of inflicting pain.

The all around slave a mixture of all of the above , a slave that needs a little of all , being used , in service and at times stepping up to take what pain is giving..

We as Master need to step up to the plate , owning one of the above takes a great deal of time and responsibility. We must make ourselves available 24/7. Arianna knows she can wake me at any time to talk.. We must give more than we take.

Being codependent does not make you broken , being needy does not make you broken , having a low self esteem does not make you broken in fact many times it makes you special.

I have heard many times I am broken or I am not worthy of having a Dominant or Master.

I myself prefer the needy part even the codependent , it is just knowing how to handle and being able to offer the care. Short term neither play out good if both sides are not ready to commit.

I have found very few Dominants or those who call themselves Masters who are truly willing to take any type of relationship serious or willing to take the responsibility needed.  These are the guys who hide behind the computer , the trolls who really have no clue. Once they find someone who is gullible enough it is short lived . The crazy rules the unrealistic demands , the confusion of changing rules just so they can punish.

Training is very time consuming just the initial training I am going to say 90 days with hands on contact on a daily basis. In order to be in control you have to be able to reach out and touch. Online training does not work , it works as long as the computer is on and you have 24/7 contact then it is still iffy.

You have to have need , the craving to be owned , the craving to be used , the craving to be called property. The craving to be able to hand yourself over completely.

The hardest part is the first 90 days it will tell you number one if you are just going through a frenzy or the life of a slave is not you….. It is easy to throw in the towel and give up , it takes a lot to stick it out , but if things are not what they seem , the raise the white flag and say I am done… No shame your just being true. I can assure you the Dominant you leave is not the last in the world.

I believe at times humiliation is needed , it is needed to bring someone back down to reality. It is meant to give a shock , kinda like sticker shock when looking at a new car. It brings someone ego back down to earth. Even during my relationship there are times I will use some form of humiliation to keep things in check , it puts them or reminds the slave of their place..

The word USE I use my property , I use my property for my pleasure , even during fucking I use the word USE , I love using you , I love fucking my property , I love fucking your ass. I like the little reminders..

We live a micromanaged relationship as most of you know. I control everything. I control hair color , I control the length , the nail polish , her clothes . I control the way she walks , talks. I control how she acts in public. I control bathroom , food , bedtime , shower , shaving. I receive a hourly check in 90% of the time with pictures. Both girls have a mileage book although I do not check it on a regular basis it is there if I have the urge to look. I have no passwords , I see no need mainly because I am secure enough in my relationship. However I will at times pick up the phones and strum through them.  If you as a Dominant has the need to demand passwords you do not trust and you have a very low self esteem.

If you the Dominant are insecure how can you control someone and your ego not be behind the force of your relationship? A relationship based on insecurities and ego will be short lived and you brought it on yourself, but you will sit in a corner and cry like a little bitch. Even in a relationship when things don’t go your way you still act like a little bitch.

You cannot be a part time Master , you have to be a Master 24/7 365

If you noticed I did not speak to much about Kink , or Bondage. My relationship runs much deeper. While at times I enjoy getting rough , at times I enjoy bondage , at times I get off on sexual abuse , face fucking being my favorite, then anal. I am more about the control , I love being in the mind. I love the structure . I have a life with zero problems and zero drama.. I love my life

New Dominants your best source for information http://bestslavetraining.com/

Oh My Ride

 

Grow up and be a man…

 

 

Abuse Is Alive And Well

MAsT:Kissimmee

 

May 19th

 

Meeting

A small group of 9 attended the 19th meeting and the topic was abuse. Even though I lead the MAsT, Masters and Slaves Together. http://www.mast.net , if you are not familiar with MAsT check out the site.

Abuse many understood how abuse can happen in a D’s or M’s relationship some were still unsure.

Girl- L  who is an awesome friend helped facilitate the meeting and she came loaded with awesome information. I myself like to let different people facilitate MAsT meetings because it make someone feel a part of. We also get different point of views which is truly needed.

The meeting is held at our home , meeting in this type of environment allows people to speak freely with out prying ears. It allows people to relax and let go where as they would not in a public setting.

We also spoke about how abuse is just not about men but there are women who abuse as well , mainly through manipulation or known better Topping from the Bottom. Most of the time this only occurs if the Dominant is not experienced or very new to the lifestyle…

Many times the abuse can be stopped prior to entering a relationship with the right education and asking the right questions. The problem today is many are to impatient and do not care about taking the proper steps. Being active in the community is a huge step forward , making friends as well. I have a handful of people I actually consider my friend. However being active does not always solve all problems because there is a dick or a bitch at every corner. The thing is it does not matter what others think about you or how you should be living your life, that is unless they are going to pay your bills..

One thing about the BDSM lifestyle is everybody is right and no one is wrong , everyone has the right answer and everyone is wrong. No one knows what they are talking about, even on Fetlife everyone is wrong. The one thing i noticed is all the people giving advice about how your life should go are single more so Doms. So yes taking advice from someone who has never been a D’s relationship is the way to go..

Abuse when it comes to the lifestyle is a huge gray area and it can be a touchy subject for some.

I know I have been approached by Doms in the community asking me if I thought I was to strict on Arianna. I suppose this is the difference between a Master and a Dominant, a Submissive and a Slave, having rules and protocols or just letting your girl run wild, and having no consequences for their actions.

I run a very smooth home, I am strict and firm, but I do so without arguing , screaming, calling names or even getting physical. I have rules in place and they are followed, I have protocols and they are followed.

I am not a 9 to 5 Dominant , I am not a weekend warrior , I am not a once every now and then Dominant , I am 24/7 and no less. I take full responsibility for not only my relationship but I admit when a mistake is made. One thing Arianna comes first and always will , I will drop what ever I am doing if needed. A Submissive or Slave should have 24/7 access to their Dominant or Master and no less, there are no excuses.

Okay ive been ranting a little and if you follow me you know by know I get off the subject at times.

One thing that really irks me is when mental abuse comes into play. When a slave or submissive is suffering from depressions, maybe being bipolar , manic and the newly found Dom does not see the signs or maybe he just does not give a fuck. Having any or all of these symptoms can put unneeded stress on someone and cause more damage.

Many times everything is in the open but many times who ever suffers from such a  disease will not be upfront about their illness. Many are ashamed but more are scared of failing a new relationship.

I myself cannot even imagine how someone who is bipolar , come close to even knowing what their thought process is, or even how one makes it through a normal day , much less how someone would handle being tied down and beaten, or used sexually. I would not even want to comprehend the thought process, or how scared or confused someone might be.

On the other hand there are some aspects of the lifestyle in which someone could benefit from a D’s or M’s home , if it was based on more of a structured setting , where rules and protocols were put in place to be beneficial. Understanding ones limits and not trying to push that explore button.  Insuring they are on medication and on the proper medication.

Just to let you know I am not talking out of my ass I am speaking from experience. I am living in such a relationship. The beginning  was a rough start but 3 years later I am and we are blessed. I suppose the setting would be different if love did not play a part , I suppose it would be different if you were just being used as a fuck toy….

The above can only be accomplished if you truly know someone and you care enough to put any effort into building a lasting relationship.

Some of the most common situations when it comes to abuse starts out with isolation. Separating you from friends and family. Making you turn over passwords to all of your accounts. Emails , social media , not allowing you to speak with other Doms, and the most severe is your banking information.

These tactics are used by Doms who are insecure or new to the lifestyle. Many have anger issues and use fear in order to obtain your submission, verbal and eventually it will turn physical.

Being new it will take some time to catch on before you will see the abuse or something pay hit you , thinking Hmmm there is something here that is not right. You feel like you have no one to turn to, after all you have turned your back on all of your friends, but even then how would you explain such a relationship?

Female abuse happens often and this is done through manipulation, and it happens with a Dom who lacks experience. However there are times when ones judgement can be blurred by letting feeling get in the way of a D’s or M’s relationship.

I have written about this subject many many times and at times I get this fuck it attitude because the truth is maybe one out of a hundred even takes notice.

The signs are clear first is isolation from friends and family , making you give all passwords to your email and social  media and email. Constantly putting you down calling you names and telling you , you area  worthless bitch. At times taking your banking information.

The fist date is either a Denny’s or a motel and your training starts off with you sucking cock. You get to see your new Dom maybe once a month if your lucky, or maybe more often to suck cock. The first date is the only date you are seen in public with him, unless your dumb enough to invite a total stranger to your house.

When you ask a question or question the way the relationship is going you get yelled at.

You the s;ave the submissive should have 24/7 access to your Dominant no questions asked. If you text you should get an answer , but most of the time it is days not minutes.

Most of the time you know something is wrong but you have it in your head he is the one, there is no one else who can fill his shoes , or should I say diapers.

You know I am not so sure it is abuse at times , I think it is more on the side of the Dom not knowing what they are doing. Many do not understand the amount of time it takes to develop a new D’s or M’s relationship, or most may not want to invest the time it takes, or some may not even consider the needs the submissive may have. Many see the relationship more as a maid service or just a sex toy but it runs much much deeper than just a piece of ass.

Ive had many new Dominants tell me they want to talk and spend time with me, and after I agree I hear nothing else from them.

There are those who are just male chauvinist pigs who see a bdsm relationship as a open door to abuse and just use and toss away until they have that need again.

After 3 years I am still finding it takes a great deal of time and communication.. I get to a point to where I have to alter things such as protocols or rules , I may have to add or take away. Both of us sit down and go over the rules to see if they still apply or maybe make some changes, maybe head in a new direction.

Only you the submissive knows what you need and you need to have a plan and know exactly what you need out of a relationship. Because a mistake made more than once is a decision , and everything falls on you if you allow yourself to continue to be unhappy or used…

What kind of Dom are you looking for ? What type of submissive are you ? Are you a slave? If so a Daddy Dom would not fit your needs. Are you a Masochist ? Then a Daddy Dom is not going to work.

You need to know who you are and what you need before you can begin your search.  Just because a Dom contacts you does not mean he is the one for you…

Last you need someone you can talk to , someone who understands you or at least tries, you need to have an outlet when something is not going well….

Again a Mistake made more than one is a decision..

There are those who crave to be used for what ever reason , those who continue to fall into the same trap, and just sit around wondering what has gone wrong or blaming others.. life is based on two things and only two choices and consequences .

Then I have to rag on the married Doms who are married and they cheat on their vanilla wives who know nothing about the other side of their husband. The wives who believe they have built the perfect home. Let me tell you something a man has what he has because of his partner , be it a vanilla wife a submissive or slave she built the kingdom.

He will talk about how bad she is and how he plans to leave her, she is a bitch and does not understand him, there is no communication , she takes no interest in his likes or hobbies. She is a total bitch.

If she was really so bad he would of left long ago. However maybe if this so called Dom had communication skills and really tried his wife who built his kingdom might be open to a little kink.

Instead he finds someone like you, who will take his bullshit , who will take his verbal abuse, and physical abuse. Someone who will take his humiliation, someone who wants to control you but he is controlling not in control. Someone who takes it up the ass because his wife will not…

Your a piece of ass and you will lose every time. You would cost him to much money if he left not to mention if there are kids involved… He is not going to leave the security he has the security his wife has built. You will do just fine until you become to needy and you will and he will dump you because you have become a liability.

While I was married to a vanilla for 9 years I never stepped out on her. I was in the lifestyle prior to meeting her but I was trying to change who I was. I wanted the house, the cars, the kids and the dog. My first month I knew I had made a bad mistake. Remember the choices and consequences ?

After 9 years I came clean about who I was and what I needed. I lost a house on the beach , two cars and a lot of money. I left with 1500 dollars in cash a canvas  bag full of clothes dirty and clean, and a beat up Yamaha 750.

My philosophy is if your not happy get the fuck out.. There is no reason to drag someone through the mud more so over something I did. I lied to her , I mislead her, I was someone I was not, and I made a fool out of her. I can say for the past 9 years I have paid child support every week and I have never missed a payment working or not..

You do not have to let someone drag you through the mud and in the end it will be your fault…

 

 

 

 

What It Takes To Be A Dominant

I really enjoy perving Fetlife at times , jut to see what everyone else is thinking  or complaining about or trying to give advice. The ones who carry all of the worlds knowledge of course are those who are single and have never been in a D’s  or M’s relationship.

You are either a Dominant or your not , your either a Master or your not. Each has a different foot print in the lifestyle..

Being called a Dominant or Master comes with great responsibility , we must be able to step up to the plate we called and we should be available 24/7 without question more so if you do not live together.

I believe we should be leaders in the community reaching out to others , helping others in time of need , this statement is just my personal belief.

When we look at a Dominant we look at Honesty , one who has high Morels , integrity , a Leader at home or while out.

When our property is out we have standards we expect them to follow. We are a direct reflection of their training. We should be held to the same standards.

Anger issues seems to be a problem running through the new lifestyle, when I speak of the new lifestyle I am speaking of the new generation.

Definition of the word Submissive.

inclined or ready to submit or yield to the authority of another; unresistingly or humbly obedient:

Definition of the word Slave in BDSM Terms..

A slave is an individual who relinquishes all of his or her power to a dominant partner in a BDSM total power exchange relationship. Generally, slaves are considered to be the property of their owners in the BDSM community and not people. They must be subservient to their partners, ask permission before they do anything, and be available for sexual activities whenever it is requested. In addition, slaves are often subject to punishment if they deviate from their duties.

Now with the above definitions please explain to me where the anger issues come into play ?

While it is true in most BDSM relationships more so new ones there will be some if not a lot of resistance , been there done that, but what I learned as a experienced Dominant or Master by staying calm and communication you are able to control the situation in a more of an adult manner.

Making everything clear to the submissive or slave , if you give a rule explain it in detail. Explain what the rule is for and why you as the Dominant will bring improvement into their life.

If your upset explain why your upset and what can be done to fix the situation. Every time a rule is broken does not constitute punishment , this is where communication play a huge role in the relationship. Why was the rule broken ? What can be done to insure it does not happen again ?

You as the Dominant or Master has complete control , you have someone who cooks , cleans , dresses the way you want , lays on their back when told, gets on their knees when told and many times takes what ever pain you feel you need to give.

So why would you as a leader , a Dominant or Master stand toe to toe and argue with your property ? Why would you want to lose control ? Each time you lose control , scream , yell , call names , what happens is you start to lose respect and with that you start to lose control and your relationship will dive out of control and there will be no way to regain the loss.

Think about it you are arguing with someone who submits to you it make no sense.

So you can be a Dominant , you can be a Master but with both titles comes a great deal of responsibility .  In order to have a successful D’s or M’s relationship you are going to have to give up a great deal of your time, and be dedicated to your relationship.

Although kink plays a huge part , sex beyond your wildest dreams that is just the tip of the iceberg.

Getting in the mind , if we break down the letters in BDSM it seems to be more physical , but the foundation is the mental aspect , it is about getting in the mind and once inside there is no limit as to how high you can fly. If you have the mental control the physical comes natural.

You the submissive , the slave the baby girl , the pet you have a couple of goals in mind. To be safe , be with someone who will accept you for you, someone who will not judge or try to change you. You need the security knowing someone cars about you , someone who will communicate , but most of all someone who has your best interest in mind.

 

 

Dominants Have Rules And Protocols As Well

Many of the blogs here on wordpress when speaking about Domination and submission are geared towards relationships, the Submissive, the Dominant, the Master, the Slave.

The slave or submissive tells about their life and journeys , The Doms and Masters talk about their lives , their relationships, rules , structure, and some protocols.

We Masters , Dominants and Daddy Doms just as the submissive , Baby Girl, or slave are a direct reflection of our property. We set standards in place for our property to follow, we set rules for private and public, but we have to he held accountable as well, after all our property looks up to us as leaders.

We train ours how to act, how to speak, talk and walk, we impose rules some stricter than others, we control , we guide and we have expectations, and if not followed punishment is in the air.

On a couple of occasions we left a lifestyle function and Arianna said Master there were somethings you said that did not make you look good, or maybe you should of worded that statement different. After thinking about her comment I found it to be true. Okay my bad , I have a habit of saying what is on my mind , but here is the thing if Arianna noticed it so did everyone else, no one ever says anything so if she did not bring it up I would of never thought about it.

I expect Arianna to follow the rules and protocols I have put in place. The rules I put in place were different from past relationships, the protocols , the structure all are different , this is due to her being different , not different in a bad way , but I focused on needs and what I thought would keep her in a better place, and 3 years later it has worked.

We as Dominants and Dommes are watched , our property is watching us, they watch every move and listen to every word. They watch how we interact with others, subs, slaves and Dominants.

We set the example, we want to be followed, we want to lead, in order to achieve all of this we have to set the example. We as Dominants have rules to follow in everyday life, we have rules and protocols when out in public more so at local events.

When a Dominant walks up and introduces himself as Master Porky I just kinda roll my eyes, when this happens you never hear the second word, as you hear is Master. We are all different but when I introduce myself it is hello I am Vile.

I never just walk up and start a conversation with another submissive or slave, this is poor judgement on a Dominants part not knowing if they are owned or not.  The same with social Media , just because I am friends with another Dom it does not give me the right to friend his property, in that case permission is needed.

While it is true I do get nutty at times , I have found it is rather hard to stay serious 24/7.  I love to have fun , I act out at times, I love making people laugh.  Arianna knows this but she also knows when I am serious.

We cannot control someone if we are not in control, we cannot expect someone to respect us if it is not earned.

It is pretty easy controlling someone who does not know any better, it is easy to control someone who does not have a clue…..  It is easy to fuck with someones emotions , feelings or even fucking with their head. One does not care if they are not in it for the long haul.

I have seen many times when a D’s or M’s relationship is in a one way status, the Dominant barking out rules , losing their temper, screaming, but he had no rules or protocols to follow, he was not setting a positive example.

I was reading a conversation on fetlife a Dominant was wanting advice on how to break his bitch. My answer was , why would you want to do such thing? Why do you feel you have the need to break someone ? I got no reply.

Fetlife is full of bashers , hatred , from those who know everything. The truth is any real Dominant would not out another Dominant in a public forum. Again we set the examples , we lead ,  we teach, and train.

I was talking to a slave the other day and she made the statement she did not have to love but she had to be able to respect. That is really deep…

I hope all of you had an awesome Thanksgiving

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There Is A Clear Difference In Dominants

I log into my email and from time to time something catches my eye, and I think Hmmm. So I click on the link and the first two lines has to catch my attention, if not I click the X.

One thing that is for certain is, we as Dominants are all different. How we carry ourselves, our personalities, our views when it comes to the lifestyle, our needs. What type of submissive or slave we need in our life.

Just as every Dominant is different, the same goes with every submissive or slave. Each is different, each has different needs, each takes different care, and yes each needs different rules and protocols.

You have the Romantic Dominant who is loving and sensual, ahhh Such as Franco Bolli.
You have the Daddy Dom such as SouthernSir who is a Daddy Dom but one who does set rules and protocols to help benefit his Baby Girl.

You have the no Protocol Dominants, or maybe those who believe in protocols , and that would be me.
You have Dominants who do not have rules or very few, then you have those Dominants who follow those 128 Basic rules, yes they are out there.

You have Dominants who passes their property around like a board game, you have dominants who force their propriety to take part in unwanted sex acts with others.
Their submissive is there for a couple of reasons. 1 She is scared to leave. 2 the submissive has been giving an overdose of stupid, or 3 the submissive is happy where she is at and truly enjoys her life with her Dominant.

Just because he loves passing his Bitch around and he gets off on watching others fuck her, does not mean he is wrong. That is his kink, that is his need.
I may think he is pretty fucked up, but it is not my place to say he is wrong, because what works for me may not work for him..

It took me about 3 months to put all of Arianna’s rules into place. There are only 25 rules as a matter of fact, and she can recite everyone and not in any particular order. That is something I am proud to say she wanted and needed to do on her own.
I am huge on protocols, as a matter of fact protocols take the place of some rules we already have in place or they go hand in hand.

There is also a clear difference between a D;s Relationship , A Daddy Dom relationship and a Master and Slave relationship. There is also a clear difference between a D’s and M’s relationship, just as there is a bigger difference between a Dominant and a Master.

So you take the old Rubiks cube, and you label each one, with a different part of the lifestyle, then you solve it. That is just how many different relationships there are within the BDSM lifestyle.

There are some Subs and Baby girls who did not want or need rules, there are some who do not want or need protocols. The good news is there is a Dominant out there for them, and there are some good Dominants.

There are also so real fucking losers. There are some who should be wearing Tampons because they are just as much a Bitch and the Bitch they are looking for. Yes I am speaking about the Married Dom, most are Daddy Doms, if you do not believe me do a little research, yea I am not going to do all of your leg work. Spend a little time on wordpress, and read all the whiny subs on here , because they never hear or see their married Daddy.. Bawwawawaa Yea cry me a river.

No email, no phone call, no text, no nothing because awe he is to busy with his work, to pick up the phone and give you 10 seconds of his life.
You are submitting to a whiny bitch of a man who cannot run his own home. His wife wont take it up the ass but you will. So now you get to be his Little Baby Girl.

You know what is ever more funny than these wannabe Daddy’s , I am going to guess there are roughly lets say low numbers 15 million people who blog on wordpress, and there has not been one married man with big enough balls to make a comment , about how I talk about pure toxic garbage.

My wife and Slave who I truly love and adore, needs most of the above. She needs the protocols , she needs rules, she needs structure. I knew all of this before entering the relationship. It was not my place to try and change her. Once I agreed to enter such a Micromanaged relationship it was my duty as a Master and Owner to perfect her.

You do not walk in my shoes, You do not have a clue as to what my daily life is. I am ever more sure there are not many who could walk in my shoes or even want to.
I am in a good place, life is good.

Just Do not judge me, or tell me I do not know what I am doing.

To be the man you got to beat the man

Vile

Making Love Nah , Having Sex Nah , Just Raw Fucking

Arianna cooking dinner I get home from work walk over bend her over and push three finger inside her pussy, slowly fucking her until she starts to breath a little heavy, then I just simply walk away going about my business.

Being able to just snap your fingers and your submissive drops to the floor without question, even better tell them to go to the bedroom and strip and spread you will be there in a minute. Crawl on top bust your nut and get off. It can be that simple.

The thing is every Dominant , every Master can have it this way.  No questions asked, never. You can lead and they will follow you where ever you go.

Being a Dominant is much more than barking our orders, going to wal mart and buying a dog collar, changing rules when no rules are being broken and you want to punish.

I saw a post on Facebook not long ago a submissive was going to meet her Dom, and he was figuring out different ways to punish her, just for the sake of punishing.

The truth is most of you who except bruises except only because you think that is part of the D’s lifestyle , then there are those who except them because you want the relationship to work, so you will take what ever. Then there are those who truly enjoy them. There are Masochist who truly enjoy pain, there are those who need pain as an escape a way to release, but for the most, many of you just except it.

I heard some time ago that pain was needed to reach sub-space and that my friends is so far from the truth. There is nothing written anyplace that says pain is need to reach sub-space.

Sub-space is mental, sub-space is the connection the two of you have with each other, sub-space depends on how far your Dominant can get into your head, sub-space depends on the intensity of play, and it does not have to do anything with pain.

Okay so lets take the words BDSM we have the kink, we have the sex, we have the control, we have the bondage, the floggers, whips, cuffs, ahh the St Andrews cross. The list goes on and on, and while it is true all of this is a huge plus it is not the foundation of the relationship.

The foundation first and for most is the communication we have, second is the control we show at home and while out. Being honest, loyal, most of all truthful. You learn to guide they will follow and follow without question….. The rest is just a bonus, and the bonus’s just keep getting better and better. The longer you are who you say you are, the more your subs or slaves wall will slowly come down.. Once those walls come down your relationship has no end, it will continue to grow.

All these fake dudes the Fifty shade dudes who do not have a clue, the married dudes who do not have a clue. Their life is so fucked up trying to juggle two lives, hiding everything hoping they don’t get caught. Or the guy who thinks he is King Dom after reading Fifty Shades now he wants to be king master and he is on the hunt. These are all short lived relationships. The married one is not going to leave his wife, more so if he’s not investing anything into the relationship.  If your his submissive and your living alone he should be paying for part of your upkeep he should be helping with the home. I am telling you this from a mans point of view, if he is married he will not leave his wife, he has way to much to lose.

Listen to this you who are seeing married Doms, you are only getting one side of the story about how bad their home life is, you are getting their story. If their life was so bad, they would have already moved out, yes just like I did, they would of already left their wife and kids behind. . He can go on and on about how bad his marriage is, how much he hates his wife, but the bottom line is he is still there and he will be there when you are gone.

Now my question is how can you sleep at night with a clear conscious? How can you sleep at night knowing what you are doing to his family, destroying what she has worked so hard to build. Because what ever a man has it is because of his woman, it is because of his wife. Just something to think about because it is not fair that she does not have the ability to share her side of it. If his marriage is so bad put your foot down, put a time limit that he has to move out, then see what happens. It is not fair to destroy something his wife has worked so hard building, and the bad thing is she does not have a clue that things are so bad, because he will not communicate with her. Now if you think your the only one he is seeing you are stupid, and I know you are thinking the same thing in the back of your head. When you go days with out a call or email, or even a fucking text.

On the other hand if you do not care, and you are that cold you don’t have any feelings then go for it. To each their own I am not judging anyone, have a little compassion.

If he will fuck around on his wife, guess what ?

Now all the trouble you girls go through someone made a comment just a little bit ago.

You are a minority Vile… and are one of the rare ones to do it right.

Okay that can be a true statement but it is really not, you have to weed yourself through all the fake ones. It is like when you open a door and it is full of horse shit, your thinking fuck there has to be a fucking horse somewhere in here. So you open a door and there is a room full of Doms you think one of them has to be real. You have to be able to think with a clear head. You have to have a plan in place before you start your search.

Fuck Collarme.com fuck ALT.com both of those are meat markets to men, and that is exactly what they think. Now are some real sure they are but very few and far between. You have to be willing not to settle for second best, and many times you get the feeling something is not right but you go right along with it. You continue to go along with it even though you feel something is wrong hoping your thoughts are wrong, and you know most of the time they are not.

If you do not live together you cannot truly know the fulfillment of living a D’s style relationship, to know what it is like waking up every morning with your Master, following his rules, his guidelines there is no way to experience it. The little you get while on the phone and it is phone sex mostly, the weekend out of a month if that, maybe a night or even just a couple of hours. You will most likely spend your Birthday alone, as with all of the holidays.

So no it is not that I am a minority , because there are plenty of me out there. It is just you the submissive or slave taking the time to weed thought the bad to get to the good. There are Dominants out there that will more than fit your needs. There are Dominants out there who will treat you with the respect you deserve, who will treat you as their princess.

For you Doms in the lifestyle for a while, just learning or the Fifty Shades, if you play your cards right, the submissive is for your taking. They want to be used and used on a regular basis, nothing brings more pleasure to a submissive to be used. Some of you guys just kill me.

Lady’s all you need is a plan.

Vile

 

 

Total Slavery 101

A Slave is not dumb, a Slave is not weak, a Slave is just like any other with different needs and desires.

Looking back I am not as strict as I once was. I am not as harsh, nor am I any longer into the pain.

Before I met Arianna I had been asked several times to play by different Masochist, and I did give it some great thought but I had to pass. It was just not me any longer, I no longer had to desire or the need to inflict pain. There are times when my mind wonders  about the relationship I had with Sherri, and I think man what the fuck were you thinking. How could you of done some of the things you did? At that point in my life what made me tick?

The willingness to give, maybe the pain in her eyes, and she never showed one tear. With the cracking of the single tail whip, the twelve pound flogger with BB’S on the end. Speculum’s in both holes at the same time, double fisting, forcing her to eat pussy, or blow some stranger, and things I do not wish to share at this time.

She was my first real slave my first and only true masochist, I gained great knowledge from her, but it was a relationship I knew would not last. Almost seven years and I never once fucked her, not sure why there was just something about her, I was not attracted to her in that way. She did suck a lot of cock though daily.

It took me a long time to realize that not every slave or submissive was a masochist, many thought I was abusive, which is far from the truth. Then I began meeting other Doms, and finely an awesome mentor. Then and only then did I learn the difference. The caring part I had to learn on my own.

As we grow older we have the need for more, we need something deeper, and real. The control is the main factor. I am not sure what makes me tick, but I spent way to much time trying to figure it out. I am me and I will never change.

Today while I am strict, I am also fair. I do not change rules to fit my needs. I try to talk through mistakes, because beating is not always the answer. Many are to quick about grabbing a belt or a whip, as a way to correct. Many times a good verbal scolding works much better

BDSM has many different levels that is why it is so easy to find the place we belong, any kink you can think of is out there, and chances are someone shares that same kink with you, but as in any relationship it has to be a give and take.

A slave has no rights, none. A slave gives everything in hopes they will not be abused or misguided. There is no second guessing, even if the owner is wrong. If we as Dominants make a mistake we have to fix it. I myself fix problems before they become problems. We Arianna and I have zero stress in our life. There is no drama between my ex-wife and I none. We even had her over for dinner last week.

You enter a relationship as Master and Slave. I will state I made no demands on what Arianna would call me. She asked if she could call me Master, at times she calls me her Owner

Over a period of a month maybe a little longer, I controlled every movement Arianna made. Bathroom, eating and what to eat, how to dress, walk, talk, what time to go to bed, what time to get up, and yes I controlled her money. I will say this, Arianna does contribute to the house, but I do not take her hard earned money, I stated that I controlled what she spent.

The training was not purely sexual, most of the training consisted of conversation, communication. Teaching her my way, my rules and yes my protocols.

It was exactly two months into our relationship, I invited a M’s couple out to dinner. This was Arianna’s first test, on protocol and etiquette. She passed with flying colors. My friends loved her. Shortly after that I invited an M’s couple over to the house and Arianna would be the host for the evening, again she passed, and the couple loved her, the slave really really loved her. Four months into our relationship we met a Domme for dinner it was her Birthday, again the Domme was very impressed with how Arianna carried herself. at that time we began to attend local events, munchs and MAST meetings. MAST Masters and Slaves Together, a great bunch of people, again Arianna was awesome, when someone did not understand what I was saying I allowed her to step in.

To fully control someone is a huge huge task, a task not many understand or wish to understand, nor is it a task that many want. With me it is a need, a deep craving. I do not even think of my wants, because all of my needs are met.

A short time ago I shared Ariannas rules with a few subs who followed me, the rules were not sexually based. Rules are meant to help. We as Dominants take ones bad habits and replace with good ones.

So think about this Arianna has no rights, no say, nor does she want. That is the key, she does not want, she is giving and she has the trust that I will not mislead or abuse the situation.  If a problem arises and when I take care of it 95% of the time Arianna does not even have a clue. Everything is on a need to know basis. Now if I ran across something I needed advice about, she would be the first and only one I would turn to, but so far that has not happened.

Every day when I arrive home, I walk through the door, Arianna is nude and kneeling. I did not ask for this nor did I require. She does it because she has the need. I walk into the kitchen to sit, my cold drink is in place waiting, she takes off my hat, pen, name tag, then shoes. Dinner is promptly put on the table. Arianna does not begin to eat until I have taking the first bite. Once finished with dinner, shower time. When I finish Arianna drys me off, my night clothes are laid out on the bed. Time to relax. Before bed a huge glass of ice water is placed on the table beside me. Once in bed we talk more about our day, I want to know whats on her mind, this is her time to talk about anything and everything that’s on her mind, her free time to express herself.

Okay I get anything I want without question, be it in everyday life, sexual, play time. When it comes to sex there are no limits, I just do not push her farther than she can go. There is no arguing, of any kind, although I do know at times I do get on her nerves, I just get the eye role she does not think I see.

There are really very few true submissives or slaves, and fewer real dominants. Once into a relationship most find it is not their cup of tea.

There are those who are quick to judge, because they either do not understand, or they believe the slave is weak, which is far from the truth. We judge what we do not understand. You would not want anyone to judge you would you?

Most other relationships I do not understand more so when it comes to a D’s type of relationship, but I do not judge, if it works for you then so be it. While I do find Pony Play interesting, I do not understand the concept, or what someone would get out of such a lifestyle, but it works for them, I am still not going to judge unless your pony takes a huge dump in my living room floor.

I keep an open mind when it comes to others, our kinks are all different, our needs, it would be much better if we could just all get long.

 

Vile

How Far Is To Extreme

Every submissive or slave is different, just as every Dominant is different. The world of BDSM has grown 110% over the last ten years, some for the good but for the most many have strayed away from the traditional D’s and M’s. Today it is mostly about kink. Unlike ten years ago it was not uncommon to see a couple who had been together , 5 10, 15 years or longer.

Today we have moved more into a kink world, nothing is considered long term, just like a vanilla relationship it is easier to pack up and move on to the next in hopes the grass is greener on the other side. When in fact most of the time it is not.

BDSM Bondage, Discipline , Sadomasochism , sadist , and masochist if you will. You can be a sadist and not be a dominant, I have met masochist who were not a slave nor were they submissive, and a D’s relationship would not be adventitious for them, because they are just looking for the pain aspect, could be a alpha outside the bedroom.

When someone is new to the lifestyle if they do not have the right guidance, one can stray off of their path without knowing. Meeting your first Dominant or sadist, because a sadist at times will tell you he is a dominant, as far as he knows he may think he is until it comes to the responsibility part of the relationship. After 3 months 6, or maybe a year you come to realize this is not for you, there is a bad taste in your mouth.

A sadist is just that, very few have the dominant side, the need to inflict pain, more so the need to see your pain through your eyes, that is the rush.

A new submissive or slave to the lifestyle will take most anything that is dished out and then some, be it verbal, mental and yes physical. They will take what ever just to please, hoping to find the one, but most of all acceptance.

Most have been a Slave or submissive all their life, but did not have a clue about the lifestyle or what they are. The sub, or slave just knows they are different, and most do not fit in the average circle of friends, and no one to talk to about their feelings. I have talked to slaves who had feelings at a very young age, early teens. Some find out at a young age then there are late bloomers in their 30’s 40’s and even 50’s.

Most men not just Dominants think with their cock, every 40 or 50 year old dominant wants a 18 year old slave. It can be fun for short term but I have seen very few last. I was the same way so I am speaking from experience. I found I was babysitting much of the time. I am not saying there are not those who are mature at that age, because there are.

I prefer an older slave, someone who has experienced life, someone who is mature. Now it is not to say that if I had not met Arianna it is possible I would of met someone much younger, although that is not what I was looking for in a relationship, we cannot help who we like of fall in love with.

A lot of younger subs or slave prefer older dominants those who have been in the lifestyle for sometime, those with experience. Would a 20 yr old submissive really consider a 20 year old dominant? maybe just maybe but at such a young age what does the dominant really know about the lifestyle, or how to implement structure in someones life, enforce rules, but most of all stay in control, and not be controlling. Just my thoughts you do not have to agree with me.

So you meet a New dominant for the first time. Dinner someplace public. Then you jump in the car and head for the nearest Motel. He ties you up, blindfolds you and the HELL starts, you have never been beating so bad in your life, fucked in every hole even if you had limits in place. The next day you can hardly walk, your black and blue, or worse something is broking. Okay lets say you suck it up, take about a week to heal, your going to either stay away or your going to try it one more time.

To most sadist if he is not looking for a relationship, he is just looking to put another notch in his belt, you were a piece of meat for the night, he busted a nut you went home crying. I am speaking from experience here I am not just running off at the mouth. To many are to eager to please, they could care less if they are pleased. To many are eager to meet someone and allow someone to use them. It many cases the after the fact is to late.

So just how far is to extreme? how far do you really need to go to find the one? better yet how much are you going to take?

I have said before have a list ready, your needs, your do nots, and your limits, and what you expect out of a relationship. Stick to the list do not bend from it. Once you give in your just another notch in someones belt. I know I had one belt I had to replace because there was no room for anymore notches.

Believe me when I say this you can get hurt, you can get hurt bad, and chances are you will not go to the police and explain why you let a stranger tie you up and beat you.

Just think, as your pulling into a denny’s how far is to extreme.

Vile

Being A Dominant is 24/7 365

Slaves and those who are submissive need down time, free time to clear their head, get away from daily activities. The need to see family, friends, or maybe just go out shopping.  We as Dominants expect so much from ours, but I believe there is a breaking point.

Many Dominants for what ever reason once in a relationship become very controlling, cutting the slave off from friends or family, not allowing to go out alone, and no real down time. I have seen these types of relationships, and they usually go sour in about a year. Why ? The Slave or Submissive has hit their breaking point. Humans can only take so much Slave, Submissive or Vanilla, we all have a breaking point.

The break up once they have reached their breaking point and the Slave wants out of the relationship, it then becomes their fault. They did not give their all, they are not real, they did not take the lifestyle serious. It is never the Dominants fault, lord knows he could do no wrong, and he will repeat the same actions in the next relationship, expecting a different outcome.

Once we leave the home our day just begins, work calls, the only thing different between the Dominant and the Vanilla, we still have a great responsibility. Our Slave or Submissive, is still our responsibility. I am not sure how others think or handle different situations, but if I am needed I drop what ever I am doing. Arianna comes first, she is the most important one in my life.

When we enter a relationship, there are things we have agreed to, we as Dominants have giving our word and we must stand by it. We told them we are there no matter what, they can depend on us. If I receive a text I do make it a habit to answer promptly, a call if I cannot answer I make time to call back, as soon as possible. This is something I agreed to and again your slave or submissive should always come first.

As a Dominant our rewards are great. We have a relationship that most men dream of. Our property is at our beck and call. Our property is there to serve be it domestic or sexual. The Slave or Submissive eats, drinks and sleeps their owner.  We are all that matters, and once in a relationship as long as we keep our word, the relationship continues to grow.

In the beginning of a relationship, getting to know each other the Slave explains their limits Hard limits, and soft limits. I can tell you, as long as we are who we say we are, and we show and continue consistency those limits go away. What were hard limits are now just thoughts. This is not true with all. There are some who keep Hard limits, and will never bend, but I am speaking from past and present experiences.

We have taking a Slave to be ours, we have no down time, we cannot take a day off because we do not feel like being a Dominant for the day. I myself cannot just wake up and say Okay I have the day off, do as you please for the day. Today you have no rules, I am tired, I don’t feel good. I am going out with the boys.

Although I do allow Ariaana down time, to see family , she has a friend she likes to quilt with, or just go shopping. I do understand. On the other side I do not go anyplace I cannot take Arianna. I am not into going out with the boys. Most of my friends or co-workers , I have nothing in common with. I cherish mine, I truly care for mine. My number one priority.

My down time is when I tuck Arianna into bed, then I can rest. Early in the am sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee. Then I hear those words. Good morning Master, may I get up. My day has just begun.

Today is the first day in about four months, I have been off and I am alone, but my morning began at 3.15 am. Waking Arianna up for work, we sit at the table drinking coffee and talking about our day.

We are moving this week into a new house. Today I am shopping for a washer and dryer, and handle a few things with the new house. Two weeks ago we bought Arianna a new Fiat she loves it. I wanted her to have something dependable to drive, and good on gas.

At times it would be nice if we could just turn things off for a couple of hours a day, but if your really happy in your relationship everything just falls into place.

Finding the right partner makes a huge difference, it makes for no drama. Life is good.

Nice Pic

Vile