Archive for the Submission Category

You Want The Pussy But Not The Responsibulity

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, anal sex, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, codependent, commitment, communication, Dominants, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Protocols, pussy, Slave, Structure, submisive, Submission, sucking cock with tags , , , , , , on February 19, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

There are idiots everywhere , and there are people who think with their Cocks as a matter of fact their cocks run their life. If you were to cut the mother fucker off they would be lost.

Why do most people associate BDSM with abuse ? Because of the above the idiots , the retards who want the pussy but not the responsibility.

Those who play the game , those who hurt people because they have no clue, just take out a flogger and start swinging without a care. Those who rape because you think they want to be forced. Those who see Submission as a weakness. Those who want the control but give nothing back.

I have zero respect for those Married Doms or claim to be Dominant. Think about it if they were so Dominant they would be running their house , but that is not the case their wife better known as Mommy take care of them.

Something I hate some stupid fuck makes a comment and leaves no way to contact them or respond to my reply.

FullPotato

There are still core behaviors consistent to all humans. While everyone is an individual, they still share humanity’s foils.
Where is the line between domination and abuse? Are those interchangeable terms? When does the master/submissive/slave relationship change from positive to negative? In-fact what constitutes a positive relationship?
This fuck has not a clue about the lifestyle but has read enough to know there are millions of fucking retards who are predators , those who abuse.
I have blogged about Married Doms probably 50 times or more out of almost 3000 post and not one , not one has stood up and said a word or justified his reasoning .
You who are submissive seeing married Doms and that is cool as long as you know he will never divorce Mommy. He is with you because his wife will not take it up the ass but you will. The minute you become needy he will drop you like a bad habit.
If and when a Dominant takes that step into a brand new world your life changes , it is like hitting puberty all over again. Your thought process changes , your needs change , your wants change, and the type of woman you are looking for changes.
It is like starting elementary , stepping up to middle school then high school , you never stop learning.
I watch , I listen and I observe. I never want to stop learning each day is a new experience . You learn by others mistakes , you learn by thinking before you act , you learn by thinking logically, you learn by taking responsibility for your own actions, You learn by knowing your decision affects two and just not one.
The main problem with a new Dominant is he kinda knows what he wants , he has envisioned the role , the things he wants to do , but his thoughts are purely sexual. He has not sat down and thought the whole process out. His rules are sexual , demeaning , humiliating , rough and thoughtless. He has not thought through the emotions that will come out , nor the neediness , and in some cases the codependency side of the submissive. While thinking about having a slave non of the above has come to his thoughts. The Dominant will become defensive , he will start losing his temper pushing you away , calling you names, then comes the end he explains you are not the one for him.
One of the first things I tell a new Dominant is to find a mentor 1 out of a 100 will take that advice and 1 out of a 100 will succeed. The other 99 will put the blame on the slave because she was not a true slave , her submission was fake.
These guys fail because of a lack of knowledge and a lack of caring. These guys will move from slave to slave to slave and he will find something wrong with each one because he is not willing to put the effort into building a relationship. These guys are only interested in getting their cock sucked , fucking someones ass , just using until she is no longer fun or he just gets bored.
Building a M’s or D’s relationship is not an easy task if you are serious and have a plan. Before handing out any rules you have to know the Slave inside and out. You have to know what makes her think the way she does. Again this takes the want , this takes effort and this takes a need.
As young Dominants we all had the same thoughts when it came to rules . You will never wear panties , you will always wear a skirt, you will worship Master Cock, you will be ready for inspection at all times, your pussy must be shaved at all times , your ass will be ready at all times. Then we hit the Dominant Puberty stage and our thoughts change..
The truth is with a little planning , a little need , a little caring both can have the ultimate relationship but both have to have the need. The Slave the need to submit and serve , the Dominant the need to take control and responsibility.
I run a very smooth home , there are no problems , there is no Drama but most of all there is no arguing. I have more protocols than I do rules , as a matter of fact you can turn your protocols into rules. Rules are meant for self improvement , rules are meant to keep your slave on a straight path. Both rules and protocols are to be followed and it is the Dominants responsibility to insure the Slave follows and he has to let the Slave know there are consequences if a rule or protocol is not followed. In public a Slave is a direct reflection of her owner.
You want sex on demand , you want your cock sucked on demand, you want anal sex on demand. You want everything on demand but you have to give back more than you take. You have to be willing to take the good and bad. You have to be willing to stay consistent on a daily basis. You have to be willing to communicate and listen. You have to be willing to talk to your Slave and not at her.
The question that comes to mind is , is there a such a thing as a perfect Slave ?  Absolutely there is and we The Masters create that perfect slave we mold to fit our needs and wants. We as Masters create our own world , have have the ability to control our life , our surroundings , and even out in public. If you are going to talk you have to be able to walk the talk,,, Hmmmm did that come out right?

Men With Low Self – Esteem

Posted in bdsm, communication, Confidence, Low Self Esteem, Slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , on February 15, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was not sure what to blog about this morning , I just left the Tag office two weeks ago I bought a 1977 Grand Prix from my brother and it is in nearly pristine condition. So now I have a cup of black coffee and I am listening to Kid Rock, Live Trucker. One of the best entertainers of the decade. Smart , very talented , and he knows how to market himself. One thing that really stands out is his confidence.

Over the past year ive talked to Doms in the lifestyle who were single or in a relationship but still lacked that confidence thing. One Dom made the comment once the slave reached a certain point she would up and leave because he had nothing more to offer. Why would you make that statement in front of you’re property ?

There does come a time when the submissive or Slave becomes dependent of her owner. There comes a time when one becomes needy. The only way a Slave would leave is if you just done something really stupid.

Although you the Dominant are in complete control there is a fine line you have to walk , your property is watching you , your actions , you’re thinking, how you react towards others when confronted. You can push a slave to the point of no return. The Slave can feel and knows if you have her best interest in mind.

Anyway

 

The bookshelf in the bedroom is packed full of books on how to boost your Self-esteem , you have books on how to pickup women , books that provide pickup lines , you’ve spent thousands of dollars on CD’s on how to pickup women , and you have probably seen a shrink a couple of times , but night after night you end up home alone. You join supports groups with others who have the same issue going on, sitting around hearing how pathetic others are trying to make yourself feel better. You spend thousands going to work shops , attending motivational speaker sessions who rake in millions  , profiting from you’re own problems.

The real problem is not your self esteem , the real problem is rejection , being told no or to get lost or you do not have a chance. Rejection is a Mother Fucker, you become depressed , kinda worthless deep inside.

You go home to your nasty apartment , dishes piled up in the sink , clothes scattered everywhere, you order a pizza because you don’t cook , turn on some porn and jack off imagining you are fucking the chick on the CD you bought , when in fact you could be fucking her.

While I was single I had a small house and older one I think it was one of the old Sears homes they sold in the 50’s and 60’s , ah I forgot to mention it was in the Hood, 99% predominantly black. It was not long before I had made a handful of good friends , this was due to them knowing I was no threat , and I showed respect. There were some nights I went to bed and left the door unlocked.

My point being that is where I lived , I kept it clean , I enjoyed cooking , this was my kingdom.

A few months back my slave and I went to visit a friend or maybe just a acquaintance , but once we entered his apartment we just both kinda looked at each other, the place was a disaster. I was scared to sit anyplace it was that nasty. Gentlemen  this is a total chick turnoff.

Rejection is a Mother Fucker and it haunts some , makes some cry, and some even act like a turtle hiding their head , or maybe a ostrich sticking you’re head in the sand.

Those books you bought , those CD’s you bought , those groups you joined , the money you spent going to seminars , you might as well of raised the lid of your toilet and flushed all that money down , because everything in the above statement is someones opinion , and their opinion is making them rich.

Before you go out stand in front of a mirror and look at the way you are dressed and ask yourself who would date me dressed like this ? You’re hair are you well groomed ? Your shoes ? Are you still wearing polyester from the 70’s ?

My first sales Job was at a Dodge Dealership , I knew absolutely nothing about selling cars , but there were two things I picked up on . One if people drove on the lot they intended to buy. Two the system was rigged when it came to favorites and that is a battle that is hard to fight. You know who has the most fucked up credit in the world ? Cops yup cops have the most fucked up credit and they look at you surprised when you tell them you cannot sell them anything.

Sitting at the table one day a man was looking at a Dodge 2500 a fucking nice truck. I filled out the paper work and his wife was sitting there telling me how much they were willing to spend a month and not a penny more. I came back with the first numbers knowing he was going to say no but she was the one who spoke up and said no. I came back a second and third time , she stood up and said we are leaving while he sat there and said nothing. I looked at the application and I said to his wife you forgot to add you’re income , maybe we could get a lower interest rate by adding yours. She looked at me and said I don’t work I am a stay home wife. I looked at the application again and her husband worked on a oil rig in the gulf. I stood there thinking and I said I am going to go get some coffee , and I think you two need to go to the bathroom and give you’re husband back his Balls. The next day I clocked in at work and the sales manager ran up to me and said stay away from Mr Brown his wife hates you. Wow I really made a good impression , thank you.

Low self esteem , because his wife had beaten him down so much he felt he was worthless. Good for her.

I have had men tell me , man that chick is out of my league. I ask, what the fuck makes you think that? Oh I just know she would never go out with me. Something or someone has drilled this into his head.

You walk into the mall and and you see this hot babe at one of the kiosk and you are scared to walk up and strike up a conversation. Yea the truth is , she is probably  single because all guys feel the same way you do.

The fact is all that money you spent on those books, CD’s. Motivational speakers , you could of bought some awesome floggers , paddles, handcuffs , some nice lingerie , dildo’s butt plugs , tens units and ready to get your kink on.

The truth is it really does not matter what you look like , yea well okay there is a limit I suppose, but 99% of the time it does not matter.

It is about confidence , it is about standing tall , saying what you mean and mean what you’re saying. If you walk up to that chick standing in the kiosk who is doing nothing because shes not selling anything . You strike up a conversation , if you can hold her attention for 5 minutes you are in like flint. This is when you say hey lets catch some dinner. Chances are she will say yes. If she declines remember what you have learned kick the dust and move on to the next. Rejection is a mother fucker , even when you feel like you have lost that confidence , fake it til you make it.

Let her talk , you listen , she wants you to listen she wants to talk. She does not want to hear about your comic book collection , she does not want to know what a fucking genius you are. She does not care about the giant bug collection you have. In fact at this point she probably does not care what you have. You ask questions , find out what you have in common.

Throw those books away , what you are reading is someones opinion and chances are their own advice did not even work for them.

You could decide to go home to you’re cat sit home alone and wonder what the fuck is wrong with you. Feel sorry for yourself , feeling pathetic or you can man up take the panties off and be a real man.

Confidence will get you laid you can forget POF , Match, get like Nike just do it..

 

 

Interview With A Dominant

Posted in 24/7, bdsm, Slave, Submission, Submissive with tags , , on February 15, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

A couple of years ago the interviews were a regular part of my blog but as time went by it was hard finding someone who would take part. Promises Made Promises Broken.

I find the interviews very educational because it gives you a peak into someones life…

This awesome interview comes from a fellow blogger who lives in a Master , Slave relationship 24/7…

Every Dominant is different , each has different views , different needs and different goals.

Each Submissive or Slave is different , each has different needs , some may have an idea  but need direction. Most are looking for just a few things in a relationship , security , trust, assurance and stability. There are many who need structure in their life, many who need daily direction , rules and accountability.

 

https://livingwithx.wordpress.com/

So here we go enjoy

 

(1) When did you first becomes interested in the lifestyle, and what degree did you want to take it?

Well, that would depend on what we mean as the lifestyle.. I have always been kinky. It started at an extremely early age.. Six I would say.  I was aware of sex and it fascinated me.  But in my child’s mind, I couldn’t figure out how a man could ever stick his “thing”, into a woman, and she would just let him. So in my child mind, my first fantasies began with rope, and bondage. My first apartment had rope.  My first house had a water bed with rings at all four corners.  I used to keep blanket strips, neatly rolled up beside the bed.  They make lovely ties.. So soft and yet so tight and strong.  You really have to try bondage with blanket strips sometime.  My first slave was I want to say around age 26.  She wanted to be an alpha slave with other women slaves.  I went looking in Manhattan, which is only around a hundred miles from here, for that kind of scene.  I did it all.. Orgies, and threesomes, and nudist parks.. Anything for a thrill, but it was always about control, about me getting my own way… I would always work the question.. Do you swallow.. Into a date…if the answer was no, there would be no second date.  Some things I have never compromised on.  But to answer your question, there has never been a time I thought about girls, and didn’t want absolute control.

(2) Why do you think those in the lifestyle are quick to judge others?

Now that is an interesting question.  You would think we would be less quick wouldn’t you?  I think I first have to ask, is it true that we are quick to judge each other?  My answer would be, you don’t have to be in any Fetlife group for long to see it, do you?  Throwing a question or strong opinion  in to Fet is a bit like throwing raw meat into a cage of wolves. I think that passion is no different from politics for a reason.  There are and always have been two basic groups of human motivations.. The hunters and the gatherers.  The hunters are, individuals who fiercely seek independence, conquest, recognition, and freedom from any other power.  They lean towards the Dominant side, and prefer politics that don’t interfere in their life, even at the cost of things that may help them. The other group are the gatherers, and they prefer to work together, they believe the collective is stronger, that some sacrifices of personal freedom are necessary to achieve these important objectives.  They lean towards the submissive side, and their politics seeks the greater good for all, believing that it is the group’s right to distribute more evenly the spoils of effort.  Now these two sides are locked in a battle to define what is right, since the dawning of mankind  The hunters will say, this slave is mine, I define what that means.  And the gatherers will say, we need more compassion, more room for people to express their self identity. Then some hunters see the wisdom of this argument and get behind this idea and back it.. But then some gatherers see the unhappiness this creates and side with their favorite hunter..  People begin picking sides, either for their belief or their alliances. I mixing metaphors here, I know, but what I am saying is that we are very passionate people, with strong alliances, that share strong beliefs about how things should work.  Humanity has been fighting to make a perfect world for a very, very long time.  What we should be doing is perfecting ourselves.  We just never seem to realize that utopia is not a place where individuals design the perfect society, but where society is designed to let the individual to perfect themselves. Now can go back to fighting about how to do that…

(3) I assume you keep your lifestyle private, do you have friends who share the same interest ?

The best way to answer your question is to say this.  I am very private in public, and I am very personal in private.   It’s a question of choosing my audience.  I’ve been in very public roles before and I know first hand that the larger the segment of any community you reach, the more guarantee that you will reach the fringe groups.  In any population a very small percentage is nuts and trust me, you really don’t want to have to deal with them. I’ve been there.  Here is the thing: How you say a thing can be as important as what you say. If what you have to say is going to reach people, first you need to know your audience.. Leaders listen and speak last, for all of these reasons.  So in public, I am speaking to an audience I don’t know personally and who doesn’t know me personally.. So I write about the things I think are true and meaningful but in a broader sense.  But in private there is trust and honesty and it becomes personal.  I have many friends in the community and I trust them to have my back as I would have theirs. Most of my friends are in the community.  I have found over time that my obsession with BDSM has driven away all but one good friend who is not in the community.. And that is OK.  You don’t know your real friends until your friendship is tested.  That one nilla friend, is a good and decent person, and a buddy for life.

3b) Why are you not active in the community?

Hmm not sure where that idea came from.  I would say that I am active on many levels. I have my Dominant Support Group in Fet, I sometimes help with local support groups, I’ve done workshops, and I was most recently a judge at the North East Power exchange competition.  That being said, I used to be more active.  I was well know for fire play but I backed off that because of a thing called “the carnival ride”.  When you are known for some talent then you can have five or six scenes lined up each night.  It gets old being the carnival ride.  So I more or less retired from that and withdrew a bit.  I spend more time now with my slave, than being a local public figure.  So many people have stepped up to fill the gaps in workshops and training, I don’t feel like I have anything unique to add.  What’s the point I ask myself.  Maybe I am underselling myself, but then I don’t need to grab all that attention to know who and what I am.. It’s enough that a few people honor me with the title of MasterX.  After all, the only titles of value are those acquired thru recognition by others. One claims that title by exercising that recognition, not asserting it.


(4) Being a Dominant what is it you get out of your relationship ?

Hmmm power!  I swear.. The most beautiful women walk through our local Dungeon naked, gorgeous, and sexy  and ol’ Johnson doesn’t so much as stir..  But, and this is the funny part, some guy in a McDonald’s will say “Yes Sir” and there it is, that tingle.  Now if a really cute girl whispers it, stand back, cause Johnson’s on duty.  There is a this electricity when my slave Izrina is shy, or on her knees.  I can’t explain why i feel it, maybe some of us are just wired this way.  I think so.. I often say this is an orientation, not a lifestyle.  I just feel alive when i have her submission.


(5) Being with your partner I am going to assume you were a couple for sometime, before taking that first step. Who’s idea was it to take that first step ?

Actually no.  We didn’t start out as a couple.  I was a lone wolf prowling the bars.  I love to dominate on a pool table you see.  I am fascinated with the level of control I can exercise over the balls, and when that leads to beating all challengers, well, what’s not to understand about my attraction?  Now Izrina had another name when I met her, and she showed interest in me.. The dark dominating fellow that I was.. I explained to her that I could never be interested in someone like her, which of course I had to explain.  I sent her to watch the movie Secretary, and then to a submissive site, and when she didn’t shy away, I took her to munches, and then dungeons.  I gave her a collar of consideration finally, but there was a but..   A person sometimes becomes something else to be with you.  Maybe your girl pretends to like football.. And you love her because you can share your love of football with her.. Then after you are married she hates football and you can’t understand why you are growing apart.. Well Izrina was a nilla.  I needed to know that she had a slave’s heart.  So I tested, and asked and tested and asked until one day she begged me to stop asking.. Yes!  I have a slave heart.. Yes I want to be your property.. No I am not doing this to be with you, I am doing it for me.  It was after that she got her training collar, and her slave name..


(6) Do you consider yourself to be a Strictly Bedroom Dom, or has it moved to a 24/7 relationship?

Oh God – no bedroom Dom for me.   You know they say that when sex is good it’s 10 percent of the relationship and when its bad its 90?  Well sex will always be a ten percent for a number of reasons.  Not that I am not a horny little fucker, and not that she isn’t, it’s just that I get more from the power dynamic all day long, than I can ever get from sex, all day long. Let me give you an example..  Just walking from the livingroom to the car we can tick of over a half dozen protocols.. 1- I put on her coat and free her hair, she isn’t allowed to 2- I get the door for her  3- She waits in the hallway for me to pass so she can walk behind me and to my right 4&5, we repeat for another door, 6- I open the car door for her 7- I lean into her personal space, to tighten her safety belt… Now while I am walking around the car, as anticipatory service, she will power up and set the GPS..  And that was just three minutes of our day.  It’s like this all day long.  And It makes me smile constantly.. And the same with her.  Sometimes we just grin at each other because we both feel it, the electricity of Domination and submission. Nothing is happening that anyone can see, and yet we both have that tingle.  It’s just fucking awesome when you get the right person!


(7) Do you have any rules or protocols in place. if so was it your idea to implement the rules?

We absolutely have these.  These are what give meaning to our lives, it is what helps us feel the power exchange all the time without even trying.  We two rituals and they are both designed around Izrina realizing her happiness as a slave.  We have two rules and these are about touch.  I strongly believe in the power of touch. Rule one requires her to always be touching me when she is in my presence.  I believe at last count we had 25 protocols. We also have something I call structure.. Not really rules or protocols, it more how I like things around the home.  I have a touch of OCD.  Everything must be in its proper place.  Spoons to the right of the knife, forks to the left, even in drawers.  Stuff like that.  The “structure” of how i want things to be doesn’t neatly fall into the other categories, but it’s important to me, so I have a name for it.  I don’t think Izrina has ever suggested a protocol..  Hmm maybe something that started as anticipatory service became a protocol, but nothing jumps to mind.  I do need to add this… I never want one of these to be in place and me not remember to enforce it.. I can’t imagine something worse for a slave than to get away with breaking a ritual, rule or protocol, and not being called on it.  We try to keep it simple, so I don’t hurt her this way.

(8) Last what advice would you give to couples who are thinking about taking that step into a D’s lifestyle

Do it!  (laughs)  Seriously though. I wish more people could see the box they put their hearts in when they draw boundaries.  In Ds, the boundaries disappear.  Its raw, and you are risking a lot, but you can’t reach these heights if you aren’t willing to take a risk!  And power exchange.. Don’t get me started.  How can two people decide everything together with two votes?  There is no tie breaker in that vote and it is bound to lead to arguments.  You want equality?  Great.. Use power exchange to achieve it within that two votes thing.. One of you is in charge of this, and the other is in charge of that.  Look.. someone has to be in charge or nothing works.  Power exchange is the natural order of things.  If you are seeing this, then do it, figure it out and make it work.  Even if you end up splitting areas of responsibility at least you stepped into a better more sane world.  After this truth dawns on you, everything else is easy.

Xtac and I are somewhat alike , we both run a very strict home with rules and protocols…

Defining Your Submission

Posted in 24/7, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, masochist, Slave, Submission, sucking cock on February 13, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

I did a blog a couple of years ago on the Seven Most Common Types of Submissive’s Each has their own inner feelings about who and what they are. When you break down you’re personality you then have to find a Dominant with the same interest. Just because a Dominant is a Dominant it does not mean he is the Dominant for you.  Then you move into some different areas are you just a submissive in the bedroom ? Are you a submissive when the Dom is ready to play ? Are you a submissive just at home ?

A huge mistake that is made often is when you first meet a Dominant , you are talking you tell him you are one thing , but he states something different. You are not a baby girl you are a slave. Now why does he say this ? He is looking for a slave and not a baby girl. So he will try and twist you’re thoughts and he has a come back every time you state you’re case. After sometime you will agree and give in.

You have spent much time defining who and what you are and this guy has known you for a few hours.

When searching I had a plan , I knew exactly what I was looking for, I knew the personality I was looking for. I was single for about two years and I had dated several but after the first date I would just say hey this is not going to work. You cannot force someone to change and you cannot change someone who has different needs.

You have kept you’re feeling from your friends and family this is something you have thought about for a long time, you did research , you did research on you’re personality, because you wanted to fit in. To find the right fit is to be free, free to be who and what you are not to let someone change you. If you need to be changed by someone then the Dominant is really looking for something else. If you change to please someone you will never be happy.

Breaking down the Dominants , there are less Dominant personality’s than submissive or slave personality’s

The Sadist , there are very few sadist who are actually Dominant , sadist gets off on inflicting pain. Once he has finished a scene he is pretty much done so do not expect any type of aftercare.

The daddy Dominant looking for his little girl , Daddy Doms are more laid back, not really into a lot of rules or structure and more Dominant in the bedroom. This is not true to all daddy Doms I have met a few who are very strict. Daddy Doms proved more of a safe zone feeling usually more affectionate .

The bedroom Dominant is someone who is only Dominant while in play this also goes along side of the Top. Once he walks outside of the bedroom he is done so if you expect any type of aftercare then you should speak up before play…

Then the get it done Dominant , no rules , no structure just get it done. This seems to fit many types of those who are submissive or Dominant. Here is something I need you to do just get it done. I know a couple who are local who fit this description and it has worked for 8 years.

The over controlling Dominant , this is the little insecure guy. He has to know where you are at all times . He wants to know why it took you 23 minutes to get home from work instead of 20 minutes and he will ream you’re ass over 3 minutes . He wants all of you’re passwords and in most cases if you are dumb enough he will take you’re banking information.

The Master and there are many other types of Dominants but you can google that . There are a few different types of Masters the main one is the title Master, he believes this is a entitlement for what ever reason he has earned this status. The title master demands respect , he demands you call him master not sir but master, remember this is an entitlement. His logic of thinking is to take and take and give nothing in return , giving you rules that are not checked and making changes to those rules when he finds it necessary. The entitlement master continues looking for ways to punish you mainly he gets off on abuse but to him it is legal abuse.

Looking at profiles on Fetlife and I see Master ,daddy , Dominant , I am asking myself how in the fuck does that even work ?   I am Master , Daddy , Dominant and owner of Baby Girl so and so.

I am not about titles I am however about respect but respect I have earned. If you demand respect it is not true respect it is fake and nothing more. You cannot demand submission but you can gain submission through intimidation again this is fake because submission is out of fear and nothing more.

To earned submission or respect you have to earn trust , trust is a very hard word because it is the easiest to lose , yup one slip up and the relationship has crashed. This is the point of no return and the Dominant goes into the begging part , stating he can fix it he will never do it again. The problem is the submissive has already seen that side , those thoughts are implanted deep with her mind.

Maintaining trust maintaining you’re word , staying true to you’re word, staying honest that is huge.

It is an honor for the submissive or slave to let those words pass from her mouth. Yes Master, how may I help you Master?

We as Masters have a huge daily task keeping everything in check , setting time aside to talk , just talk or talk about concerns. Communication is more than 95% of any relationship being able to speak freely. If the submissive or slave really trust you they will come to you about anything knowing you are there to listen and help.

Although we are in charge, although we make all of the decisions there is a fine line we as Masters have to walk. I know and you should as well what it would take for the kingdom to come crumbling down. This is why I preach being consistent  on a daily basis is so important. You cannot be a Dominant 9 to 5 you’re submissive has the right to have access 24/7 remember you signed up for that.

Never let anyone define who and what you are , never let anyone try to change you. If the Dominant tries to change you then you are not the right one for him.

You the submissive it is up to you to define who you are and what you’re needs are to a new Dominant. You do not have to use the word Sir until he as earned the respect you need to have earned. Never take demands from a new Dominant if you have not agreed to enter a relationship.

You spend maybe 25 minutes talking and he blurts out I believe you are a slave and not a Baby Girl , or a Brat what ever. You say hey wait a fucking minute you don’t even know me , how would you know.

Only in the lifestyle does the conversation start out , do you swallow ? Do you like anal sex? Are you Bi? The biggest are you into humiliation ? That question is a true sign of abuse.

Ive been in the lifestyle for 25 years , okay great can I talk to some of you’re friends ? Can I speak with some of the groups you belong to ? This is not only important it is you’re right.

Once you define who and what you are stick with it , let yourself evolve over the years..

When you meet a new Dominant keep you’re mouth closed and legs closed for 30 days.

Also check out my slaves Blog …..

https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/

Vile

Pussy To Man is Like The Apple To Adam

Posted in abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Cheating Dominant, Dominance Through Intimidation, fucking, Giving Head, Manipulation, Slave, Submission, Submissive being used, sucking cock, Uncategorized on February 6, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

Most men will crawl naked through broken glass if they think they are going to get laid.

To some pussy is an addiction, an uncontrollable addiction, and at times it interferes with their daily life.

This is where the games come into play. Telling you what you want to hear just to get you on you’re back.

Now your feelings do not come into play nor do you’re emotions.

There is however an easier way but it does take a little work.

To get into ones mind is an incredible feat. To figure out how someone thinks is an incredible feat. Once in the mind you own it. There are no limits to the growth, there are no limits at all.

A submissive or slave are only looking for a few things in life.

Security , Trust, knowing they are cared for , someone to take responsibility for their actions.

Most men are the worst communicators in the world , I suppose some are scared , but my guess is many just do not care.

If it turns out a man is Dominant but his wife is not submissive he then feels bad about approaching her with the idea of D’s or bringing up the kink. He may feel like it is abuse. The problem is by not communicating he then turns to cheating , finding someone he has no emotional feelings for, someone he can use and go home with no connection. This is his way of justifying his actions. Once he is caught he will turn the tables around and make it her fault for not fulfilling his needs.

I have a friend well not really a friend we talk from time to time, but he spends all of his spare time on Match and Plenty of fish. He spends hours hunting and once someone bites he insist they come to his place. Once he has the pussy he is done, he then finds a reason why he should not enter a relationship with them. They lie , they are needy , they cant be with him 24/7 but he does not want them to move in.  It is never his fault , by placing the blame it makes him feel better.  Use and out the door , no feelings or emotions…

Some 10 years ago I use to drive a cab part time , believe it or not those dudes make a decent living. I picked up a family of 4 husband and wife , 2 kids and she was smoking hot, I mean blood rushed down to my dick so fast I got dizzy  she was that hot.

Once we reached the Hilton the guy handed me a hundred on a 35,00 dollar fair. He tapped me on the shoulder and asked me to wait for him while he took everything to his room. Once back down he entered the front seat and wanted to know where the hookers were?

Okay there are some respectable workers today who work and make a lot of money , a lot of money , but what he was looking for was a 20.00 dollar hooker a crack head. I reached in my pocket and handed him 65.00 dollars and told him I had a call .

This guy was willing to put his wife and family in jeopardy , he was willing to take the risk of catching something and passing it to his wife, is this true love ?

When dating someone new this is the time to be honest , by the second or third date both should begin to open up. If you the man likes getting your cock sucked and the new girl friend does not like sucking cock guess what ? It is not going to work. She may like anal sex but you the male thinks its disgusting for what ever reason , guess what ? It is not going to work. If you like bondage and spanking but she does not guess what ? It is not going to work.

Honesty is everything , being truthful about you’re needs, if down the road the kink side comes up sit you’re partner down and talk , talk a lot about the feelings you are having , why the feelings came up. There is a great chance he or she may come around , if not guess what ? You gotta suck it up because you knew before you entered the relationship , and if it comes up later and you talk and the answer if no you should suck it up if you really love and respect.

The lifestyle relationships be it a D’s or M’s or what ever category you put yourself in. Being new is a mother fucker because you are going to be used and dumped a half dozen times before you get it right. Men who do not take the lifestyle serious and are out just for the pussy and nothing more. He sees submission as a weakness , he knows he can use you and use you for a long time , leading you down a road of broken promises and promising things will get better.

The breakup you think it is your fault and of course he will put the blame on you, this will make him feel better, while you sit and feel sorry for yourself. The problem is you knew all along something was wrong.

It took me years to realize it was harder playing the game that it was to be truthful . I stepped over so many hurdles just to get a little head or some pussy by the time it was over I felt like I had wasted so much time and got nothing. It also took me years to realize the damage I had done to others , emotionally , mentally and physically. The truth is I did not care I was getting my nut.

If you want the pussy be up front you might be surprised how many are looking for a no strings relationship , eat date and fuck then you go home. That would make things simple.

You the male Dominant can have anything you want , sure it takes work , sure it takes devotion , sure it takes caring , sure it takes being honest , but the rewards out weigh the bad if you are looking for bad. We can all find something bad if that is what you are looking for. I myself concentrate on the good, and if you continue to look for good there will be no bad.

I made it a point once I figured out who and what I was, what I needed and wanted out of a relationship. I was determined to find the right one, the one who could fulfill my needs and wants, but in return I had to give. In return I had to give back more than I was taking.

A man never wants something until you tell him he cannot have it. It may not of been important at the time but now that he cannot have it , it now becomes a need.

You the female yes you , if in a committed relationship should do what ever you can to make you’re man happy within reason of course. You should care enough about his needs.Okay so you don’t like anal sex , you are talking 5 minutes of your life. You don’t like sucking cock or swallowing again 5 minutes. You keep your man happy he will not stray, but and yes but you do have those idiots.

I will never cheat again please just one more chance I am begging. Yea you can believe this just like I am so sorry I will never hit you again. Once a cheater always a cheater, the same with being Hit out of anger he will hit you again and again.

Pussy To Man is Like The Apple To Adam

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Fall Of The Married Dominant

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Baby Girl, Bad Dominant, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, Consensual, Daddy Dom, Dominant and Submissive, Giving Head, http://bestslavetraining.com/, infidelity, Married Dominant, NCSF, submisive, Submission, sucking cock with tags , , , , , , , on January 22, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am going to start off by saying I am really pissed off. This past year has really been fucked up , not with my life but our election process , protestors , crying when losing , but that is not what I want to cover right now but it falls into the same category.

Fetlife is an awesome social Site for like minded people. Fetlife has thousands of groups and forums to allow those with little to know experience to learn and meet others if you so wish….. Every kink you could ever think of some you know then others are like what the fuck.

Unfortunately there are stupid people in the world , there are those who do not give a fuck, and there are those who simply do not care. As with any site you have to be careful fuck even eharmony has had bad things happen , Christian Mingle , you know shit happens.

What I mean by shit happens there have been several rapes , probably more because over half go unreported.

As with any website when you take money you have to go through a Merchant to handle you’re credit cards. It turns out the Merchant thought Fetlife was a liability when some of the fetish’s that were listed, and many have been removed , as with some profiles and some even had to change the screen name.

 

I cannot express the caution that needs to be taking when meeting a New Dominant. You the Slave , you the Submissive , you the Baby Girl what ever you fall under you have to be careful.

There is a Vetting process you should put the Dominant through , it is you’re right to know the guy inside and out. You have the right to ask questions , email or text others he knows in the community. Lets face it anyone could say they are a Dominant , a Master, or a Daddy Dom. Most will tell you they have been in the lifestyle for 10 , 15 , and 20 years. Most will tell you they are very experienced , when in fact they do not have a clue and this is where you can get hurt. Once you are tied up spread open wide you are fair game and you cannot do anything about it until its over. Think about that really hard , I mean really think.

99% of Dominants are active in the community , roughly 75% want to make a difference in the community , they want to help. Those who tell you they are not you need to find out why? Some will say it is because of work they cannot be seen , but the truth is even like Munchs there are no signs up that say hey this is where are the Dominants and Slaves are meeting. I know Teachers , Lawyers , Doctors who are all lifestyle friendly.

You also have to find out if the Dominant will support you if you want to be active in the community that is what a Dom is suppose to do..

Then we have the Almighty Married Dom , the Married Dom who goes behind his wife and cheats. These are not Dominants these are dudes looking for kink. These are guys who want to find someone who will do things his wife will not.

You are there for one purpose and one purpose only and that is to be used , and you are used on his terms when he able to sneak out of the house. If you think about it if he was a Dom he would be running his own home and would not be looking for a submissive right ?

Having a Married Dominant is a lonely life , when you email or text most of the time it is a week or longer before you even get a response. The reason is I am to busy , work is really crazy , I just didn’t have time. Think about those reasons for a minute, really he has no time to text or email really ? It takes roughly 30 seconds to send a text and about a minute to send an email.

You’re training will consist of sucking cock , and laying on you’re back , getting you’re ass beat for no reason and you take what is giving because you feel you have something to prove.

Training is really an in depth process , it is a process that does not take a week , two weeks , three weeks I am talking months. Training is a hands on process, training is a eye to eye process. You cannot do it texting , you cannot do it face timing , or sending videos , naked pictures or doing anal training alone while he jacks off over the phone.

There are actually two more side to this story though and both are Okay if you are happy with seeing a Married Dom and getting banged once a month, yea the no strings attached thing and that is okay, it does not make you into something bad everyone has needs.

Then there is the Single Submissive who knows the game , she knows about the married Dom , she knows what he is up to , she knows he is sneaking behind his wife’s back and she knows he is scum , pretty much worthless.

I have blogged about Married men before , as a matter of fact several times and not one time has a married dude ever come forward and try to explain his actions.

So I recently received a comment from a single submissive who knows the game , but the trick is , while the Dominant is playing the game she is one step ahead. In fact she is playing the game , and she is running the show. She plays until she gets tired of him then drops him like a bad cold.

I love it because in the end , his ego goes from a 10 to about a 2.5. I cannot even imagine how someone would feel on that end of the stick.

When I responded I was ecstatic , in total awe , I had to re-read it a dozen times…

So here is it..

I’m a female sub. I love married men because I know where it begins and ends. Pants off, pants on, and back out the door to his miserable wife. I get off, he gets off, and we get on with our lives. I keep my feelings in check which is easy because the foundation of our arrangement is built on 1)lies (bc he’s a cheater) and 2)fantasy. I’m usually the one that has to remind these married slobs the shine will rub off, this is not everyday life. Unless you are already married and in a DS relationship. After 1 month I’m the one who usually gets bored like you said, married men get caught up and the attention is not there. I’m fairly new to this lifestyle. I’m also a medical professional and I’m a mother. I don’t need love from a married man! All I want in life is good sex with someone who understands my submissive side, to be the best mother I can be, and to further my career.

Bam how fucking awesome it that, like a Black widow use and then go in for the kill..

Remember you got to be safe , you have to think with a clear head, you have to ask questions and yes even ask for proof. If you meet up with someone and you have not told anyone if something happens then it is all on you…..

Make that safe call, take a pic of his tag , find out where he works , where he lives, where he hangs out. This is you’re right…

bestslavetraining.com is an awesome source for information…. Check it out

NCSF Has a ton of legal information when it comes to the lifestyle check it out.

https://www.ncsfreedom.org/

Vile

Rules And Training

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, cock sucking, codependent, Collar, communication, compatibility, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, MAST, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Submissive being used, training your slave on January 17, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

I get emails from Submissive’s and Slaves asking me questions about training and rules. Meeting Doms for the first time.

You meet on a dating site you send messages back and forth and the Dom hounds you for your phone number until you give in.

The first questions are how long have you been in the lifestyle, you state you are new to the lifestyle but you want to learn. BOOM first mistake you are hooked. You start texting back and forth hes not really asking questions about you he is more interested in what you’re limits are , are you bi sexual ? Do you swallow ? Do you do anal ? What is the shortest skirt you own ? Do you ever go without panties ? How often do you masturbate ?

So after being hounded you agree to meet because you are tired of the pressure. The place is classy probably a Denny’s in the corner . He has instructed you to wear a short skirt with no panties. You have second thoughts but agree after all you want to make a good impression. You are instructed certain time to text because the Dom is busy with work and works really crazy hours and when you do text most of the time it takes several hours to get a response or even a day or so.

When you meet the Dom still knows very little about you or you’re family and friends , what you enjoy doing in you’re spare time, music or food , just the kink side of things.

You are instructed not to make eye contact and you are told to address him as Sir. He does most of the talking mainly because you are afraid to ask any questions even though some of it does not sound right.

He spends a great deal of time just talking about himself , and bragging about everything he has done and ask very few questions about you.

Most likely hew ill pull out a collar he bought at Walmart or petco and throws it at you and you are now owned..

Now you’re training starts you walk out and get his car he unzips his pants and you are instructed to suck his cock. Keep in mind you have no clue who this dude really is, you have no clue where he lives because you do not have his address, you don’t even know where he works, and you are about to suck his dick.

You know in you’re mind this cannot possibly be right because you are seeking more but you will blow him just to please. These are guys who do not have a clue nor do they care about you or the out come.

The most difficult about training is being able to sit down and out a plan together. What worked with the last relationship will not work on the next. Every Slave or Submissive has a different personality , they have different needs and the out come of the training will be different.

You’re questions , why do you want to train me ? What is the end goal you have in mind ? What am I going to get out of you’re training ? What are you going to get out of training me ? Now this next question will stump a Dom who has no clue. What are you’re protocols public and private ? What type of structure will you provide? Do you have any Ex issues ? That is a huge biggie many Ex’s still have a hold on his belt. Am I going to come first ? Will I have 24/7 access to you ?

A few of the first questions a Dom will ask before even knowing you’re favorite color is are you Bi ? Are you poly ? Do you mind if I see other women ? What are you’re limits ? That is usually the first or second question believe it or not. Do you swallow ? Yes a lot of women do not. Do you like Anal sex? Everything is about sex and nothing about you.

To train you is to know you , You say you are a Slave but maybe you are not sure so there are questions that has to be asked and you have to be completely honest.

To train you is to know you , how you think , what makes you think the way you do, you’re habits , the likes , the dislikes what areas if any need improvement.

This should be you’re train of thought , although I have needs not wants but needs , my main purpose is to serve and please. The train of thought should be if my Dom is happy I am happy. Second you have to be sure you are getting the whole package.

There was a conversation about training but you enter the relationship and nothing changes. The only thing that has changed is he is barking out orders and he likes to beat you.  This is where communication comes in you should and have the right to ask questions, you have the right to get answers. If you ask a question and you get yelled and it happens on a regular basis then maybe you need to rethink you’re situation. Never I mean never let feelings get in the way of happiness that will fuck you up every time.

You have to be truthful from the start , if you tell the Dom you love being fucked up the ass and when it comes time and you freak out it will not be good. Honest you have to be honest and not honest just to please.

The Dominant has to be honest , once rules are giving out they are set in stone. Down the road a Dom may revisit the rules and maybe there is one he feels you  do not need any longer. Once rules are in place a Dominant will not change just because he wants to punish you. The truth is a Submissive or Slave will strive to be the best they can be. Mistakes do happen I know this and so do other Dominants.  If a Dominant has enough protocols in place very few rules are needed if any. Protocols are the driving force of structure.

When you first meet a Dominant you meet on you’re terms and you’re terms only , you can even go as far as picking the place somewhere on public. You pick what you are going to wear and how you will address him. Many will demand that you call them Sir. That right is earned after you have full respect for them and not until. Submission is earned not giving. Most Doms who have no clue will try to give you a collar. This shows the fuck is a total idiot and nothing more. The collar is picked up from a pet store or walmart and is just tossed across the table and you are told to put it on, you are now owned lets start you’re training.

I have had failed relationships some I did not care about others I lost sight of direction, or I was stumped and had no idea which way to go. I knew what I wanted and needed but had no idea how to get there. I could picture the type of relationship I wanted but was stuck in first gear. Most relationships at that time were just a matter of convenience. I had pussy on a daily basis and someone to suck my cock. I knew going in it would not last and would only be around until I got bored or she got to clingy.

A dominant is not born over night , it is not something you just wake up one morning and say hey I want a submissive. There is growth , the wisdom, learning to control the anger , and finding ways to divert the anger to funnel it out of your system. Learning words are far worse than being physical. Bruises go away words do not, not that I condone being physical no man should ever hit a woman out of anger.

Observation , asking questions , thousands of questions , Observing , learning , communication , learning how the submissive thinks learning what they think the way they do. Learning their habits , their needs, their wants. Tv , music, hobbies, reading the submissive like a book. Once you have that down you can begin their training. Training that will be effective , training that will benefit both.

You Guys , you Dominants , Masters you can have anything you want , you can have anything you need, you can have anything you have ever dreamed of, it just takes a little effort on your behalf. You have to be willing to put as much time into building the relationship as you want out of it. One thing you cannot take more than you give, if you do it will never work..

Good Info. http://bestslavetraining.com/