Archive for the @vile62 on Twitter Category

I Have Morals

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, Dominant and Submissive, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Slave, Submission, Submissive on May 15, 2019 by thekinkyworldofvile

As much as I would like to think I am perfect I am not , but I strive to be , I am by the book and I learned at a young age if you try to take short cuts you will get fucked in the end. These are the people you hear complain about life , how things never go right , the world is against them.

I have very few friends , however my closest friends who are the ones who live afar. Those who live in different countries , those who live in different states . One being a Gorean Master whom I have the greatest respect for. All of these friends are people I can confide in , those who will give advice but more important those who will listen.

In my area I have just a few I can talk to but even then at times they do not feel as close as those who live away from me. Master Malkinius a man with a wealth of knowledge , straight to the point and more out spoken than I am.

These are people I have grown to respect , and just because you are a Dom or a Master does not mean I respect you.  As with a submissive or a slave the Master has to earn the respect. If I do not respect someone there is no changing my outlook , there is no way of changing the way I think. My way of thinking is a one way street and it is my way. As long as it is my way I am the only one responsible if something goes wrong.

Just as Mentoring , over the past 6 months or so I have taking on several who wanted to be mentored and one by one each dropped out of sight. Either in a couple of weeks they knew everything or they would not listen , and all but one are gone and forgotten , there is one who continues to ask questions and responds to my answers like clock work.

If I am mentoring you and I give advice and you do not follow it and then I get another email that says what is next ,  I just sit and shake my head. Just recent I was on the phone talking to a new Dom and when I said you need to be able to get into her head , he was the first in years to ask me how do I do that? Wow! I would say you have to be able to get into her head and all I would hear is Okay .

 

My mentor Animel looked like a pissed of santa and he acted like he was mad at the world. I remember him saying if you dont know the bitch you cannot control anything. If you are not the slaves best friend you cannot control anything. If you do not keep your word you cannot control anything. If you do not meet the needs of the slave you cannot control anything. Animel was a Sadist , I mean the most sadistic person I had ever met but his slave respected him. There were no arguments , no screaming at each other and for one she knew better but two she respected him.

While out at a munch he was talking to a sub and she was explaining how she identified as a brat a mouthy brat and his really was what you mean is you are a cunt.  I tend to agree to a point because there are Doms who enjoy the Brat but there are those who do not and are afraid to say anything in fear of the pussy being cut off.

Most men think with their dicks , back in the 90’s I drove a cab part time during events. In a weeks time I could make 3 or 4 thousand dollars. Anyway sitting at the Hilton one day a real nice Cadillac pulled in and a guy with a wife and 3 kids pulled up and this bitch was fine. As soon as they walked in the guy came out and walked up to me and asked me where all the whores hung out? I just stared at him in disbelief thinking he has this fine piece of ass and hes looking for a crack whore. Thinking with his dick , Vacationing in Daytona Beach and hoping he can give his wife aids , nah the fact is he just did not care if he caught anything or not. So if you are that unhappy just fucking leave..

As far as BDSM goes I am really not a what you would call a BDSM Master and I shall explain.

It took me years for me to get where I am at today. My life is perfect. The perfect slave who only wishes to serve me and only me. We purchased a home back in November of last year in a 55 plus community. I work from home and my slave has a thriving career.When it comes to sex I get anything I want when and how I want it. At times when I am feeling the kink thing I bust out the bondage gear.

Just as Master Malkinius who has spent years researching how to enslave a consensual slave. This would be on a mental level , being able to read someone and understand why the slave thinks the way they do , their habits and needs. The kink and the sex comes later. I am not into marking up my slave , leaving bruises because I like to show her off to much. I do not want to hurt my property.

Mentoring at first I did not get it but while not taking the time to listen I failed and the failure was on my part. Then one day it was like Moses walking down the mountain with the 10 commandments it hit my like a bolt of lighting. Mother fucker I got it and all of a sudden 20 years of shit was just running through my head and I was dissecting everything.. I then realized at that moment and time how wrong I had been and just how many submissives’s I had hurt along the way.  People who know me would not think I would be one to have any feelings of guilt . I am not one to have much empathy for anything or anyone but this was a different feeling.

Just because you are a submissive and you meet a Dom that does not mean he is the DOM for you , or just because you meet a submissive it does not mean that is the right submissive for you.

This is not a vanilla relationship , our needs are different , the kink is different. So the relationship has to be negotiated. How much control does the Dom want , how much control does the submissive want to give up. The kink side of things and then yes sex.

You know my ex wife told me one time she was to tired to have sex. I was like what the fuck is that all you have to do is lay there. She replied well I dont get anything out of it. I was thinking like I really care.

The one thing I cannot look over and I can like you and respect you but it is the Married Dom who cheats on his wife. There is another side , if the wife knows and is okay with the arrangement all is good but if it is behind her back there is zero respect and if I had any before it pulls a casper and goes poof. If you have kids that deepens my thoughts. I have blogged about this before. I was married for almost 10 years and it was the worse 10 years of my life. I had to come clean , I had to share my feelings about who and what I was and I left. The time we were married I remained loyal , I never stepped out. If shit is as bad as you think it is then you would leave. When I first started blogging this was a topic I was stuck on. I left and I left a house , 3 cars and 150K in the bank. When I moved out I had a Duffel bag and around 1800 dollars. I paid child support for 12 years , and those 12 years seemed like they would never end. Most of the time I paid 2 or 3 times more than what we had agreed on. We came to an agreement of 85.00 a week but most of the time I paid 250 and 300 a week. Even I know raising a kid is not cheap , there was day care , school clothes , school supplies and then the knowing I left and she had nothing to do with it , it was all on me. My last payment was a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders because for years I went without.

Ive  been in the lifestyle a very long time and let me tell you about the Married Doms who sneak around. They are repeat offenders meaning they will find a submissive and promise to leave their wife who is such a cunt and maybe she is a cunt but hey you knew that way before or there was something you did to make her change. Repeat offenders because they are not going to leave their wife and this is mainly due to not being able to leave the birds nest , the security. It is the wife who builds the home , it is the slave who builds the home , the slave wants the perfect home for her owner just as the wife.

He finds a submissive and makes the world of promises and it may take some time but the sub will catch on and end the relationship. The Dom will then take a break and try to patch things up at home until he gets board again , and the hunt begins. This is something that is repetitive and either the wife gives up or simply ends the relationship.

When I first started blogging this was a topic that I just hammered on because I am so passionate about it. Some women are Okay seeing a married man , as a matter of fact some prefer the man to be married because there is no fear of a commitment. In a way I can understand that and if it works and she does not care about disrupting the family and the children go for it..

A part time Dom or Master cannot demand full time submission , a part time Dom cannot even effectively train.  The submissive will spend holidays alone unless with family, the submissive will spend vacations alone , will travel alone while the married Dom will be off with his unhappy family faking it.

Today BDSM has changed and not many really take the lifestyle very serious. Lets run down to petco and get you a collar, or order one from Amazon for 10.00 bucks. Really is that all you are worth ?

Everything in the community is Labeled Kink , kinky Munch , or Kinky coffee , even at Munchs it is seldom when there is serious conversations about a power exchange relationship.

BDSM is more than just sex it runs much deeper on a mental path. You can actually change someones behavior but and there is a but the Dom has to be willing to devote a lot of time building a true power exchange relationship.

Dominants are looking for a few things in a relationship , someone who is loyal unless you are poly , security , communication , then comes the kink and sex.

It is not a easy road but it can be very rewarding..

 

 

 

vile

 

She Is Your Bitch Run Your House

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Relationships, Behavior Modification, Consistency, Master And Slave, Punishment, Slave, Submission, Submissive, training your slave with tags , , , on March 26, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

I have had a few Dominants approach me , telling me that they let their feelings get in the way. When it comes to control , punishing or even giving out task , the biggest is when it comes to enforcing rules. The feeling of guilt like you are abusing someone , mistreating , being unfair , being to strict. Well! You did not have these feelings before you entered the relationship ,or when you both agreed to enter the relationship , you had everything planned out right ? You told the Submissive you were a dominant , you told her you wanted to take control , you gave out rules right?

Many over time begin to get this deep sense of guilt , like everything is abuse , maybe mistreating their partner but remember these are thing that were agreed on before you entered the relationship , so was it just Dom frenzy or maybe just a deep fantasy and instead.

When you both sit down and start talking about each others needs and most important what they Dominant lays out about how he envisions how the house will be ran. It is okay as a slave or submissive to express your feelings but to be outright argumentative is nothing more than disrespect and should not be tolerated. When should you question your Master ? When you see a bad decision  is going to affect you and your house , put you in danger or possibly homeless. This should include while out in public , if you have something to say it should be in private , calling your Master out in public is nothing more than being disrespectful. If there are no consequences to ones actions then the Master is no longer in control.

Neither Master or slave should be afraid to speak up , if you do not communicate the slave in a respectful manner the Master has no way of knowing what you are thinking or what problems you may have until you the slave blows up.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master/slave_(BDSM)

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.[1] The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term “slave” because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave’s body, as property or chattel. While male “masters” will usually be referred to as “Master”, whether or not female Masters are referred to as “Master” or “Mistress” may depend upon whether they identify as following the “Leather” or BDSM path.[1]:27-30

The Master/slave (or owner/property) relationship is entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, that is forbidden by the laws of most countries.

Keeping that head space , one the collar if you the slave should ever have a doubt about your position in the home then reach up and grab your collar , if your Master requires you to wear one. It seems today very few Master require a collar for what ever reason , maybe he does not want to spend the money on one or he simply does not care. Putting rituals and protocols in place. Putting things in place even slave positions keeps the head space and is a reminder. Everything put in place has to be consistent or they will not work.

http://www.bdsmwiki.info/Protocol

A protocol is any defined, enforced code of behavior, and or rituals whether it be within the confines of a particular group, community, or other interpersonal dynamic (such as a power exchange relationship).

Protocols are a set of governing rules that dictate the body, behavior and attitudes through an enforced code of behavior and/or rituals whether it be within the confines of a particular group, community, or interpersonal dynamic.

Protocols are often referred to those found within a power exchange relationship. The reason there is no set rules about universal protocols is because every power exchange relationship is different, not just based on relationship style, but more specifically on the individuals involved in the relationship and their needs and wants.

Best Practices indicate that it is unreasonable to expect that others should or must respect your particular set of protocols if you have not negotiated for such things with them.

Why would a Master argue with a slave ? What sense does it make for either to even argue with each other? If a Master will argue with his slave then he becomes the bitch.

The Master

http://bdsmwiki.info/Master

Values , and this is interesting….

Some commonly emphasized values consistent with best practices concerning a Master may include but are not limited to: (in no particular order)

  • Honorable behavior in word and deed.
  • Is in touch with their wants and needs; gives clearly stated expectations, orders and instructions.
  • A clear understanding of their own personal limitations and failings while consistently seeking to learn more and better themselves.
  • The ability to respect and forgive the personal limitations and failings of those that serve them while still helping them push towards and achieve self betterment.
  • Possession of sound judgement, logic, reliability and the ability to keep their personal affairs in reasonable order.
  • An amazing degree of control of temper and impulse.
  • Recognizes both service and Mastery as callings worthy of respect.

You set the rules , you sit the rules and protocols and you enforce consistently ,  Your house you the Master sets up how things will be ran. Many at sometime will begin to feel guilty about enforcing rules or afraid of rejection , or maybe even your slave will leave you. It is the slave who has to adapt to your way of living.

You cannot change up the rules after you have put them in place , rules can be amended but there are some who will change just so they can punish.

Keeping that head space , protocols and rituals along with a few slave positions , all of these not only induce good behavior but they are a training tool. Having to ask permission to do anything and everything even when it comes to scheduling a free day with family or friends.

Use your property and use on a regular basis , the slave is there for your use , your enjoyment and it is up to you if you let your slave get off. Play and do not share what you plan on doing but it is good to give warnings throughout the week. Take what you want when you want and how you want , this will also keep your slave in that head space.

A good Master shows control , not only at home but while out it is the Master who sets the example. The way your slave acts in public is a direct reflection of your training.

Do not make demands that are not reasonable , do not make demands that will set the slave up for failure. Do not make demands that would cause the slave harm or get into trouble.

Positive reinforcement goes along way , several times a week I tell my girls how much I appreciate them and the things they do. Reward when the slave does something good. The system put in place should be everything is earned nothing is giving. All of the privileges are just that privileges and anything can be taken back.

Restrict the space with in the home the slave is allowed to sit and the way the slave sits. While out my girls sit with hands in lap and are prohibited from crossing their legs. While standing the hands are clasped in front. All of these are reminders of the slaves position within the home.

The Master needs down time a time to relax clear your head , time alone , this is just as important as the slave having down time..

You can change plans when they are not working but never change goals.

 

My Dark Side

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, anal sex, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Protocols, Consensual, Consistency, fucking, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, I own every hole, sex slave, Slave, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange with tags , , , , , , on March 4, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am like a perennial flower , you think I am gone , then Boom I pop back up.

 

I suppose we all have thoughts and most of us even have fantasies and the same with both , somethings are just better off left as thoughts or fantasies. Sometimes our sexual desires can even become dark , the art of controlling every move , tied up , with a hood , total darkness. I have a set of leather cuffs that was made just for Arianna , and I love chain , thick chain then pad locked. If you use rope if someone wants out bad enough they can do it , it may take a while but one can escape. The Hood I have is made from spandex but it has a blindfold inside , so there is total darkness. I believe there may be a touch of fear when one loses their sight.

I suppose as a Dominant we all at some point come up with what we consider to be twisted thoughts. I am not speaking of any physical harm , I do not like putting any type of marks or bruises on my property , I am more mental , I enjoy being in the head , all the mind fucks , the not knowing.

I have been thinking of like a breaking weekend , kinda like a kidnapping , of course part role play but the not knowing what will happen. Just using for a whole weekend not saying a word. A couple of months ago I made a nice spreader bar and have yet to use it , timing has been one thing it seems we are always busy.

I find a few things to be humiliating and one of my favorite is face fucking , man I love that gagging feeling , and that sounds like a song to me. While sex is not the most important part of a relationship , there are somethings that are important to me and one is oral sex , I have had many a blowjobs but have came across very few who were either really good at it or those who tried really hard and was just not there. Anal sex is very important to me , the reason it is about submission , submission in my eyes. I not only want every hole , I need every hole.

I have acquired a few toys one being something I have been after for a long time and that is a spanking bench , the other was giving to me is a really nice fucking machine. The machining is almost brand new and was very expensive when first purchased. The girls do not really care for it but I enjoy watching it being used.

I like being in control , I take that back I need to be in control , I am in control of not only my life , my surroundings , and if I make a mistake then everything falls on me. I am in control at work for the most and 99% of the time I get what I want.

As a Dominant you have to be able to separate your feelings , you can still care for and even love , but when it comes to using what is yours , you have to be in a different frame of mind. What happens often is a Dominant will start to feel guilty , the feeling of guilt when playing , you start to grow a soft side and when you do this it changes who you were when the two of you first met. When you change , when you let your feelings get in the way , your slave will be the first to notice the difference , the mindset of the slave will change and will start to push barriers. Once you lose control of the mindset , once you lose control , it is impossible to regain. The slave has already seen that soft side , the side of feeling guilty and there is no turning back.

Just as you train your slave , you the dominant has to train your mind , this is a mistake I made more than once and I always wanted to blame the slave. It is very important to lay all of your needs on the table when you start to negotiate the relationship , If you truly have a need for something do not give in , this just means the slave you have met is not the one for you. If you do give in , the subject will come up again at some point and you cannot go back on your word.

We take 1 we give back 5 , what I am talking about is the more we take the more we have to give back. We must remain positive and give positive feed back , we need to give that reassurance , we need to praise even at times when not needed. I express my appreciation all the time , even telling I appreciate everything you are doing after all it makes my life easier.

To train is to change someones thought process , make changes in ones behavior , make changes to fit your needs. The mindset of the Dominant who own , your slave is valued property. The slave is for your use , be it for service , communicating , or sexual. Lets drop the kink side of things for just a second. Once you are inside the head , you know what makes the slave tick , the thought process , why the slave does certain things , the decisions that are made , to include their interest , likes and dislikes , foods and movies , music. Days that are special , Birthdays , Holidays , places the slave likes to visit , you get to the point you know the slave better than they do , then and only then can you begin true training.

You pile on a bunch of senseless rules that has no meaning , except to worship your cock , or not allowed to wear panties or maybe a bra. Those rules have zero meaning , the only benefit you get is getting your dick sucked but that comes later because you want the slave to want to please you .

I am huge on Behavior modification but it has to be consensual , agreed on with both Master and Slave and it has to be a need for the slave , a true need.  The relationship needs to be consensual , there needs to be negotiations prior to an agreement. You do not have to explain what your training will consist of , or when it will start.  If you explain anything a rule , maybe a protocol you explain it in such detail there are no questions.

Just because a rule is broken does not mean punishment , after all there are mistakes. Life does happen , things get in the way , if there is a resistance to something talk and find out what the root of the problem is. If a rule is broken does not mean you beat the slaves ass or smack them around , you sit down and talk like two adults and find out what happened. My two favorite words are Choices and Consequences. There has to be consequences to ones choices , just as there has to be rewards for the good that has been done. If we as Dominants take one we give back 10 , if we take two we give back 20. We have to give more than we take.

I have thoughts , thoughts of just rough raw fucking , like maybe a rape scene , or kidnapping , long hours of bondage and humiliation. My favorite before anal is face fucking , probably the biggest rush for me , the control and at times the forcing.

Maybe I am not as dark as I thought looking back over what I have written , to me I am normal. I do know when you are in control you are making decisions for two or three depending on your home , but everything is on the Dominants shoulders.

I get pleasure from using what is mine , I get pleasure in using as I see fit to please me.

Vile

 

 

 

 

Journals

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, adapting, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, exploring your slave, http://bestslavetraining.com/, Rules, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Train your slave with tags , , , , on November 26, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

A peak into someones mind , their deepest inner thoughts. How they view life and the world , friends , family , the world. Personal feelings are shared good and bad. Thoughts are shared on the deepest level , and most times Journals are never meant to be read. Journals are a safe haven where one can go and at some point and time in life , they are able to pickup and read again and reflect about life.

The Journals can be a great advantage if read by a partner or a potential partner , unlike just sitting and talking , reading gives us a greater insight on how one thinks, what makes them tick, what is going on inside their head.

Many Dominants when entering a relationship will demand the submissive start writing a journal and many times not even reading. The Journal that is being written for the most is not real. What is being wrote is what the Dominant wants to hear again if its even read.

Seeking ones submission is about getting into their mind , what makes the submissive think the way they do? How life is viewed ? How they feel on a personal level? How they view family and friends? Most of the time the Journal has little to nothing to do with sex , which when a Dominant demands a journal sex has to be included. He wants to know your deepest thoughts when it comes to sex , to include any fantasies , limits hard and soft and why?

I was lucky when Arianna and I first met , she moved in with me relatively fast , I believe it was within the first 6 weeks of meeting. Yes it does seem fast but sometimes you just know.

One day I got nosy and started going through some of Arianna’s boxes and low and behold I found a box that contained Magic. Pulling the note books out I had stumbled across around 18 years of journals. Now at this time Arianna’s training had already begun and we were into about week 2 of training of the 90 days initial training so still a long way to go.

Who cares about the Pussy or if the submissive takes it up the ass or if they swallow. Sex should be on the back burner. What I have mentioned about sex that is part of training as well but there should be other goals in mind after all the Dominant is seeking complete control and ownership. You can train someone to suck your dick to your liking or fuck the way you like to fuck , but lets get in the mind.

You would think a potential Dom/Master would care enough to take a peak inside your life. You would think they would care enough to see where you are coming from. Knowing your habits , your likes/dislikes.

Prior to any type of training the one who is training must have a clear understanding of the one who is being trained.  The Dominant can lay out some pretty basic rules , such as bedtime , texting , emails all of which are forming habits , habits the Dominant may find useful but to dig in to some real deep training the Dominant has to know you inside and out.

Once inside the mind the Dominant has full control providing they do nothing stupid. Making unrealistic demands such as pics from work , or demanding nude videos if the submissive is not comfortable doing so. There is a fine line between something that is Ok to something that is just downright stupid.

Training is a form of Hypnosis , not only protocols but rules and followed are suggestions. Suggestions go a long way when training and note mistakes are going to be made , a lot of mistakes are going to be made and there should be room for error. As much as we would like to say we are perfect we are far from it.

If there are no journals on hand make a suggestion to start a journal , by making a suggestion there is no pressure for the submissive to start one. If they really care then the typing will begin or old school by writing. If the submissive does not care then your suggestion will go nowhere.

Once you the Dominants thinks you have a pretty good feeling about knowing your potential partner and you feel you have the ground work to begin training then move into the sexual area , note try staying away from limits asking one what their limits are really has no meaning because limits change over time , limits change with different partners , of course there are those hard unthinkable limits and we all know those.

Moving into the sex area of the journal to include fantasies , for the most fantasies are just that. Just because the submissive states she has a fantasy about being with another girl it may be just that a fantasy. If the submissive wants to be with another girl you can be sure she will bring it up.

The journal , what does one hope to get out of a D’s or M’s relationship ? Many are able to express more on paper than speaking face to face. Many are able to share deeper feelings than face to face.

Sit down with the submissive once you have read and outline parts that draws a interest and discuss what has been written. Once you bring out the information that has been provided then the submissive will feel as though they can open up after all you are sitting there holding the words that were written.

This now opens the door to sex and other kinks and yes fantasies. Now lets talk about bondage and maybe explore pain , sub-space.

After you have gotten into the mind the submissive will begin to open doors that were once locked.

Check out bestslavetraining.com This is an awesome guide to training your slave and good for new Dominants..

Vile

 

The Slave Is A Direct Reflection Of You

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, bdsm, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Train your slave, Training Arianna, Uncategorized with tags , , , on November 5, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

The Slave , the Submissive , the Baby Girl you train is a direct reflection of you. A direct reflection of how your home is ran m your training , your protocols and even the way your property dresses. When out together the way your property acts is a direct reflection of you the owner, when you have company over , a direct reflection.

Much of this falls under your training , your protocols and really how much you care. If you really do not give a fuck it shows.

The more you show you care , the more protocols you put in place , the more you enforce your rules the more your property will appreciate you.

Vile

 

 

Submission Is A Mindset

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Relationships, Bestslavetraining.com, cock sucking, communication, FaceBook Vile Woods, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Slave, Submission, Submissive with tags , , , on September 15, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

Wow we just recovered from a category 3 Hurricane , what a mess. I slept through most of it , Arianna on the bed looking out of the window with a flash light, only waking me when we lost power so we could set everything up for our salt water aquarium. Lynn was away taking care of a dear friend. The good thing is we now have power back but I did miss a few days of work. Arianna had a rough couple of days a work helping to get everything back in working order, she sent me a screen shot of her health app and by days in had walked over 21.000 steps or roughly 7 miles. Our house has gas so we were able to cook and yes I had fucking coffee. As soon as the winds died down I busted out my grill.. Ahhhh my 1977 Grand Prix was locked away in the garage , but my insurance company had already contacted me before the storm, how fucking awesome is that?

Now to the story

 

There is no one definition when it comes to the word submission , or even a Slave. It does not matter who or what you are you will not find the same pair of shoes or the same size..

Every Dominant is different , every Master is different so there is no comparison, same thing with the shoes all are different and no two pair are the same.

Defining your Submission can only be done by you , you know who and what you are. Even if your exploring you still have a good idea.

Training most in the BDSM community do not take that word very seriously  it may come up but will quickly pass or something may start but then fad very fast, but you the submissive are caught up in the heat of the moment and probably will not even notice.

Mo

The same with a Dominant or a Master we know who we are , we are the one who defines who we are and what type of relationship we are looking for. I spent years looking for that perfect shoe size.

When my relationships did not work in the past I put the blame on the submissive. She was not really a submissive , she was fake , she was to dumb to follow direction. That was was so far from the truth , it was my fault , I was focused more on the sex side of things and the physical play and not the control.

Asking the right questions when meeting a new sub or slave, showing a true interest in what is said.  We hear but do we listen ? Do we process the information that is giving ? Are we taking mental notes ? If you are considering the submissive as a potential partner are you coming up with a game plan as words are spoken?

Getting in ones head , processing their thoughts , figuring out how and why the sub or Slave thinks the way they do. If you do not know someone you cannot train someone.

Ask yourself this question does your dominant know your favorite color? Does he know what type of music you like, movies, food , your birthday? Does he know your brothers name , your sisters or parents names?

The mindset , your mind not your heart needs to want to give up control. I am not speaking of all because there are actually very few in our lifestyle who want to live a D’s Or M’s lifestyle , most again is just kink related , dom and sub while in the bedroom. Once your mind is in place and you have connected with the right one your heart will follow allowing your submission to grow.

Been around for more than a decade one of the best sites for information to date is http://bestslavetraining.com . There are books , there are articles that are written but what you are looking for is a guide , a guide that will lead you in the right direction. Books are and can be good but you are reading what has worked for someone else. This would not be the case for you. What works for me will not work for you.. However you can take ideas and experiment and maybe implement some things..

Capture the mind , you can rule the world , her world , your world. Capture the mind you capture the whole state of her submission. Capture the mind , and you capture the body and mind. Capture the mind and you capture the respect. Capture the mind and she will follow as you lead.

Knowing your limits , knowing where you stand when it comes to play and your body. Negotiations are very important when entering a relationship. This is not something that should take place in one setting. Mean what you say and say what you mean and stick to it.

Saying the word NO for some is very hard but it is a must at times. Even when it comes to friends. Friends will reach out to someone who cannot say the word NO more so than others and many times you get nothing in return. If you do not agree with something then say NO. You do not submit until both have to to some kind of agreement.

Put your limits on the table including the ones your not sure of and the ones you are willing to explore. Be smart but most of all be safe , think smart and logical , keeping your head clear with make you able to make the right decisions.

Your submission is a mindset , your feelings , your needs , you as a whole a mindset.

You and only you know what your needs are , you and only you control your own destiny.

I want to thank each and everyone of you who stop by. If there is a topic you would like for me to touch on just let me know…

Much Love

Vile

As A Slave Or Submissive

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Anger Issues, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Bondage, communication, Dominant and Submissive, Domme, fuck hole, Giving Head, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Humiliation, Low Self Esteem, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Meeting a new Dominant, Slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock with tags , , , on May 14, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

Where do you want to be ? What do you truly want ? How do you see yourself in a mirror? What are your goals ? What so you want to accomplish in life ? What are your dreams? Dreams are real , dreams are reachable , dreams can come true. How much work are you willing to put in to make those dreams come true. If you think about it nothing is free , if you sit and wait for something you fall out of the sky you will end up being alone.

Why do you not share the above with a potential Dominant or Master , maybe a Domme? Why would you put your life on hold for one man or woman ? A good Dominant will stand by you , a good Dominant will push you to accomplish everything on your list , he will push you and push you hard because he as well knows nothing is free. Those who keep you locked up away from family and friends is selfish. The Dominant who keeps you isolated lives in fear of you leaving , he does not trust , he does not want anyone else influencing you. He wants to be the word the only word you listen to. The Dominant has a low self esteem, and all of this equals abuse and nothing more. The abuse may not be physical , but it is mental and physiological. This does not include just the lifestyle this happens in a everyday vanilla relationship. Calling you names , screaming at you , spitting on you. You feel as if you can do nothing right and this is where he wants your mind to be.

The I can fix you Dominant , what he is saying is all of the above , because the truth of the matter is very few want to take on such a responsibility .

Sex is no longer fun because you are seen as a object you feel like a object and while your being fucked you just want it over so you can go shower and wash his stench away. You cook , you clean , you do laundry , you pick up behind him , in fact you do everything his mother did , with the exception of fucking.

You spend more time sucking cock than you ever have , your mouth is just another hole. He blows his load and gets up and leaves. You spend more time laying on your back taking what he gives and you get nothing out of it. You are punished for no reason , the rules change on a daily basis without notice. You take pain because you think your suppose to, as you lay in bed and glaze at the bruises , wondering how in the fuck did you get here?

A true statement there are many who continue to make the same mistakes expecting different results. There are those who are only interested in the bad boy look but you are treated the same way time after time, until it becomes the norm.

Older single Dominants tend to flow towards the young subs and slaves. This is purely fantasy and nothing more. What does a 50 year old Dom have in common with a 18 year old sub? He is more interested in getting his dick sucked and fucking than he is looking out for your future. Why is this you ask ? Well just read the above or maybe just maybe you already know its true because as I am typing this you are living this very life.

You think you are just a fuck toy , you believe you are meant to be used anyway he sees fit. You believe you have no rights when in fact as a submissive you have the right to say NO , but you live in fear , in fear of being alone , in fear of not being able to take responsibility of your own life, being able to live on your own. If you stay it will only take a few years to realize how many dreams have slipped though you hands and you believe everything is your fault because you are told this daily just how worthless you are.

Family and friends are a important part of your life these are people you have more than likely known your whole life but now you find yourself alone standing before one and one only.

Before meeting your new Dominant you have so much information to share but this is put on hold before even meeting. He is more interested in the shortest skirt you own, do you wear high heels, how often do you go without panties? You are told what to wear , you are told there will be no eye contact, you are told he will order for you, and for the encore you will suck his cock in the parking lot and you both leave. You spent maybe a hour and a half eating and listening you only got a few words in. You leave after taking a mouth load and he knows absolutely nothing about you with the exception you suck a good dick.

You have put your life on hold , you have put your education on hold your dreams on hold and if you think your going to end up with the little white house with a fence around it with a dog and kids you need to slap your face. You have put your whole life on hold because you were afraid to express your feelings , you were and are intimidated.

If you are active in the lifestyle you will notice there are way more single Doms than there are subs and slaves. These Doms have been single for a very long time and you ask why? Because they fall under the above they have watched 50 shades , read stories , watch porn , read stories and that is how they see the lifestyle.

At some point you have to be friends , at some point a little of that vanilla has to come out but maintaining the same level of respect. You have to be able to sit and talk , you have to be able to communicate.

The sex is fun , the bondage is fun , the spanking is fun , the slapping , being pissed on , humiliated all of this can be fun but in the end you have to be best friends. You have to be able to talk as adults , you have to be able to express your feelings , your thoughts and concerns.

I love dinner time , the three of us sitting on the back porch eating , no cell phones, this is our time to talk. Both ask permission to sit, both wait on me to take the first bite before they begin to eat. Then comes my question directed at Lynn. Is there anything on your mind that you would like to talk about? Those words open a very deep conversation between the three of us. This is the time to air everything , thoughts and concerns, we also talk about schedules and things the girls would like to do and on what days. Both have a calendar , everything is planned out a month in advance. Both sit down together filling it out , buying little stickies and stuff to decorate.

I am in full control of my home , I know every move each make , both have mileage note books everything is logged leaving and destination and at times ill ask one to bring it in and leave it for a day, and when I get time I will look through it. I allow no drama into the home, I handle problems before they become a problem.

There is one difference , I give each free time , time to wind down be with friends and family but they both understand what is giving is a privilege and it can be taken away at any time…  Everything is a privilege , everything is earned nothing and I mean absolutely  nothing is given.

I support both in anything they want to do, I listen , we talk and when we talk it is a open discussion, but I can only make a informed decision based on the information given to me.

You must always come first no matter what. Your dreams , your feelings , your thoughts , your life must always come first without question….

You can paint your own future.

Also visit

https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/