As much as I would like to think I am perfect I am not , but I strive to be , I am by the book and I learned at a young age if you try to take short cuts you will get fucked in the end. These are the people you hear complain about life , how things never go right , the world is against them.
I have very few friends , however my closest friends who are the ones who live afar. Those who live in different countries , those who live in different states . One being a Gorean Master whom I have the greatest respect for. All of these friends are people I can confide in , those who will give advice but more important those who will listen.
In my area I have just a few I can talk to but even then at times they do not feel as close as those who live away from me. Master Malkinius a man with a wealth of knowledge , straight to the point and more out spoken than I am.
These are people I have grown to respect , and just because you are a Dom or a Master does not mean I respect you. As with a submissive or a slave the Master has to earn the respect. If I do not respect someone there is no changing my outlook , there is no way of changing the way I think. My way of thinking is a one way street and it is my way. As long as it is my way I am the only one responsible if something goes wrong.
Just as Mentoring , over the past 6 months or so I have taking on several who wanted to be mentored and one by one each dropped out of sight. Either in a couple of weeks they knew everything or they would not listen , and all but one are gone and forgotten , there is one who continues to ask questions and responds to my answers like clock work.
If I am mentoring you and I give advice and you do not follow it and then I get another email that says what is next , I just sit and shake my head. Just recent I was on the phone talking to a new Dom and when I said you need to be able to get into her head , he was the first in years to ask me how do I do that? Wow! I would say you have to be able to get into her head and all I would hear is Okay .
My mentor Animel looked like a pissed of santa and he acted like he was mad at the world. I remember him saying if you dont know the bitch you cannot control anything. If you are not the slaves best friend you cannot control anything. If you do not keep your word you cannot control anything. If you do not meet the needs of the slave you cannot control anything. Animel was a Sadist , I mean the most sadistic person I had ever met but his slave respected him. There were no arguments , no screaming at each other and for one she knew better but two she respected him.
While out at a munch he was talking to a sub and she was explaining how she identified as a brat a mouthy brat and his really was what you mean is you are a cunt. I tend to agree to a point because there are Doms who enjoy the Brat but there are those who do not and are afraid to say anything in fear of the pussy being cut off.
Most men think with their dicks , back in the 90’s I drove a cab part time during events. In a weeks time I could make 3 or 4 thousand dollars. Anyway sitting at the Hilton one day a real nice Cadillac pulled in and a guy with a wife and 3 kids pulled up and this bitch was fine. As soon as they walked in the guy came out and walked up to me and asked me where all the whores hung out? I just stared at him in disbelief thinking he has this fine piece of ass and hes looking for a crack whore. Thinking with his dick , Vacationing in Daytona Beach and hoping he can give his wife aids , nah the fact is he just did not care if he caught anything or not. So if you are that unhappy just fucking leave..
As far as BDSM goes I am really not a what you would call a BDSM Master and I shall explain.
It took me years for me to get where I am at today. My life is perfect. The perfect slave who only wishes to serve me and only me. We purchased a home back in November of last year in a 55 plus community. I work from home and my slave has a thriving career.When it comes to sex I get anything I want when and how I want it. At times when I am feeling the kink thing I bust out the bondage gear.
Just as Master Malkinius who has spent years researching how to enslave a consensual slave. This would be on a mental level , being able to read someone and understand why the slave thinks the way they do , their habits and needs. The kink and the sex comes later. I am not into marking up my slave , leaving bruises because I like to show her off to much. I do not want to hurt my property.
Mentoring at first I did not get it but while not taking the time to listen I failed and the failure was on my part. Then one day it was like Moses walking down the mountain with the 10 commandments it hit my like a bolt of lighting. Mother fucker I got it and all of a sudden 20 years of shit was just running through my head and I was dissecting everything.. I then realized at that moment and time how wrong I had been and just how many submissives’s I had hurt along the way. People who know me would not think I would be one to have any feelings of guilt . I am not one to have much empathy for anything or anyone but this was a different feeling.
Just because you are a submissive and you meet a Dom that does not mean he is the DOM for you , or just because you meet a submissive it does not mean that is the right submissive for you.
This is not a vanilla relationship , our needs are different , the kink is different. So the relationship has to be negotiated. How much control does the Dom want , how much control does the submissive want to give up. The kink side of things and then yes sex.
You know my ex wife told me one time she was to tired to have sex. I was like what the fuck is that all you have to do is lay there. She replied well I dont get anything out of it. I was thinking like I really care.
The one thing I cannot look over and I can like you and respect you but it is the Married Dom who cheats on his wife. There is another side , if the wife knows and is okay with the arrangement all is good but if it is behind her back there is zero respect and if I had any before it pulls a casper and goes poof. If you have kids that deepens my thoughts. I have blogged about this before. I was married for almost 10 years and it was the worse 10 years of my life. I had to come clean , I had to share my feelings about who and what I was and I left. The time we were married I remained loyal , I never stepped out. If shit is as bad as you think it is then you would leave. When I first started blogging this was a topic I was stuck on. I left and I left a house , 3 cars and 150K in the bank. When I moved out I had a Duffel bag and around 1800 dollars. I paid child support for 12 years , and those 12 years seemed like they would never end. Most of the time I paid 2 or 3 times more than what we had agreed on. We came to an agreement of 85.00 a week but most of the time I paid 250 and 300 a week. Even I know raising a kid is not cheap , there was day care , school clothes , school supplies and then the knowing I left and she had nothing to do with it , it was all on me. My last payment was a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders because for years I went without.
Ive been in the lifestyle a very long time and let me tell you about the Married Doms who sneak around. They are repeat offenders meaning they will find a submissive and promise to leave their wife who is such a cunt and maybe she is a cunt but hey you knew that way before or there was something you did to make her change. Repeat offenders because they are not going to leave their wife and this is mainly due to not being able to leave the birds nest , the security. It is the wife who builds the home , it is the slave who builds the home , the slave wants the perfect home for her owner just as the wife.
He finds a submissive and makes the world of promises and it may take some time but the sub will catch on and end the relationship. The Dom will then take a break and try to patch things up at home until he gets board again , and the hunt begins. This is something that is repetitive and either the wife gives up or simply ends the relationship.
When I first started blogging this was a topic that I just hammered on because I am so passionate about it. Some women are Okay seeing a married man , as a matter of fact some prefer the man to be married because there is no fear of a commitment. In a way I can understand that and if it works and she does not care about disrupting the family and the children go for it..
A part time Dom or Master cannot demand full time submission , a part time Dom cannot even effectively train. The submissive will spend holidays alone unless with family, the submissive will spend vacations alone , will travel alone while the married Dom will be off with his unhappy family faking it.
Today BDSM has changed and not many really take the lifestyle very serious. Lets run down to petco and get you a collar, or order one from Amazon for 10.00 bucks. Really is that all you are worth ?
Everything in the community is Labeled Kink , kinky Munch , or Kinky coffee , even at Munchs it is seldom when there is serious conversations about a power exchange relationship.
BDSM is more than just sex it runs much deeper on a mental path. You can actually change someones behavior but and there is a but the Dom has to be willing to devote a lot of time building a true power exchange relationship.
Dominants are looking for a few things in a relationship , someone who is loyal unless you are poly , security , communication , then comes the kink and sex.
It is not a easy road but it can be very rewarding..
vile
Where is the line between domination and abuse? Are those interchangeable terms? When does the master/submissive/slave relationship change from positive to negative? In-fact what constitutes a positive relationship?