Archive for the Safe and Sane Category

Behavior Modification And Hypnosis Works

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, Behavior Modification, control, Hypnosis, Hypnosis Scripts, Hypnotist, Safe and Sane, sane and consensual, Slave, Submission, Submissive with tags , , , , , , on January 10, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

On Amazon you can find a few good books on the subject of hypnosis , these books allow you to get the basic principles down but then it is up to you to put what you have read to work. What I have found that works for me are Scripts and there are some free ones out there but you have to take a script read it then put it in your own words.

There are two books though that are on my list very soon , now that I have the basics down somewhat I want to move forward. In just a little bit I will get into my reasoning for taking such a turn in my relationship.

The books are

Mind Play: A Guide to Erotic Hypnosis

Sep 5, 2017

And

The Mind Play Study Guide

Jun 10, 2015

You do not have to spend thousands of dollars going to school and learn how to talk stupid , letting someone take your money when you can learn most of what you need from reading. I will be the first to admit it had been years since I read a book and my first on a pad.
The first book I read was really good and went into the basics and it was.

How to Hypnotize Anyone – Confessions of a Rogue

22, 2014

by The Rogue Hypnotist
When you think Hypnosis most think you can make someone do anything you want but that is not the case. However I do like watching TV when the Hypnotist makes people bark like dogs or do some stupid stuff, but in my eyes or my way of thinking goals like barking are truly not a need.
Behavior Modification is a reality when training , changing someones thought process , changing someones habits , the way someone dresses or eats , speaks and walks. You are changing how someone speaks in public or how they stand or sit. Recently I have started making changes when it comes to being in public.
Hypnosis makes those things a bit easier , because you are making suggestions while in a deep state or maybe while in a trance. I could tell when Arianna was under , the eye movement , the twitching on her hands , the breathing. I was sent two scripts and found several online but after reading and getting them down for the most I made changes in the wording to fit me.
None of my experiments were in anyway sexual , maybe that will come at a later date but I really see no need in such activity’s , this is because I am more interested in the control , the behavior  modification side of things. These changes or suggestions are delivered and Arianna has seen no changes herself or noticed anything different but its like things began to change almost over night.
During the process you are giving suggestions through out the script , maybe service , protocols , bringing up words like Submission , Slavery , Service , protocols , behavior,speech anything that comes to mind you may find useful. Each time I have changed the script but have stayed on track for the same goals.
Why am I not bringing sex up ? This is really pretty simple , when you first meet a submissive or slave and the training process begins you are teaching someone to fit your needs and wants. You can teach someone how you like your dick sucked , or how you want someone to lay while fucking , or the way you like to be riding if she is on top , but to change someones thought process when it comes to service is truly an accomplishment.
There is a downside to this story and that is not everyone can be hypnotized only about 80% of people can be put under , those who are the easiest are those who tend to day dream , those who let their mind wonder. Something else to take into consideration it will probably not happen the first time , maybe not even the second or third. The biggest factor is trust a deep trust , if the trust is not there it will not happen.
Behavior Modification can be achieved without the use of Hypnosis , and this is done through training. The training has to be continuous , consistently and this done day in and day out until things you have put in place become habits.
Having a vision , a need and a plan in place , knowing who you are and what type of relationship you the Dominant are looking for. Remember just because you meet a submissive or slave does not mean they are the one for you. There has to be a connection a deep connection and both have to have and need the same goals. If you settle for less you will crash and burn. You cannot modify someones train of thought is they do not want to , they do not see the need or maybe that is not a area they want to explore. This is not the end of the world if nothing else maybe you have made a friend.
Check out the books I mentioned and have a little fun.
Vile

Your Going To Be Used

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, Choices, commitment, communication, compatibility, consequences, Consistency, Dominance Through Intimidation, fucking and sucking, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Safe and Sane, sex, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Sucking and fucking with tags , , , , , , , , on April 24, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

Welcome to a whole new world , a world of  kink , bondage , Discipline , sex , things you like and things you do not like. Welcome to the world of giving up your control. Welcome to the world of taking orders , following rules , protocols and structure.

There are two types of Dominants and Domme’s , those who care about you and have your best interest in mind , and those who are just looking to use and abuse and could not give a fuck about your feelings or your emotions and well being.

The bad your a object, your a piece of meat you have three holes or two if male with no face and when you speak your voice is not heard. Once you become to needy or start to question your status you are tossed aside like trash.

To the users you are nothing more than a commodity on the stock market and as you grow older your value will drop , your cock will not work as it did and your tits will start to sag as with your ass. You will go from trading at a hundred dollars or more to penny stocks and your playing field will become much smaller, and there will come a time your game will end.

You can only use so much , you can only play on someones emotions so long before your called out.

These men and women see submission as a weakness and nothing more, You are stupid , you are ignorant you have zero brain cells. Once you have grown tired of sucking dick or emptying out your bank account  your tossed a side only to start your next search but you did not learn from your last excursion. You will take the same path of destruction and repeat the relationship again and again. You will continue to send your pics , shoot videos and self punishment, and you will repeat these actions over and over and over.

You will complain to your friends , you will blog about your sorrows, you will blog about how bad the Dom was, you will complain about how you were used , but not one time will you accept responsibility for your own actions.

You make a mistake you correct it , if you make the same mistake that is possible but if you continue then you are just as stupid and the one using you. It is no longer the user it is you and only you, your the only one to blame.

The fake Dominant shows up when no one else is available and if you think your the only one sitting on the couch waiting for a text , you need to change your light bulb.

When you do see him or her , you get the pleasure of sucking cock or being used for about an hour then they have to run and you repeat , you sit on your couch watching Jerry Springer , because you can somehow relate.

The good news is once you decide to get on the right path and find someone who truly cares about you, the one thing you will be proficient in is cock sucking.

I know

You will continue to lay on your back , suck dick and get abused until you come to terms that something is wrong. Those who see the fake Domme’s seldom get the pussy if every, it is more bout humiliation and your bank account.

Your not dating little Johnny anymore , someone you would sit in the car and make out for hours with, or go to a movie theater when he would finger you or cop a feel of your tits.

Your life is going to go through some pretty drastic changes and you need to be on your game when you open the door.

You are now going to give up most of your freedom and in some cases all of your freedom for sometime.

Your going to be told what to wear , how to speak and when to speak. How to dress , your hair, your nails everything about you will change and it will change to fit someones needs.

Your no longer going to be begged to suck dick your going to be told. Your no longer going to begged to give up some pussy it will be taken and you will agree.

You have moved from being viewed as a girl friend or partner to property, an object a toy meant to be used.

You have to be able to communicate your needs and your thoughts when entering a relationship. You have to be able to say NO before entering a relationship. If you are feeling intimidated through fear you are not in the right frame of mind to be making any type of lifestyle decisions.

If you do not agree with something be it a sexual act or a rule you need to speak up , because if you do not you may be in for a bad experience and one you could end up getting hurt.

Here is  the key though is you are going to give up all of the above, if you are going to agree to all of the above, if you are going to serve one, give up control of your life , you are entitled to get something in return. What you get in return I guess depends on what you want out of life. I guess it also depends on how long your willing to wait on the one or spending your time jumping from one relationship to another making the same mistakes..

So why do we see so many lifestyle relationships crash ? Just as I am guilty I have settled for less, I have giving into my needs just for that moment in time companionship. Putting my kink to the side well some of it. Entering a relationship knowing we were not compatibility , it works for a short time but in the end you crash.

Many of us including me have put sex ahead of everything else, knowing it was not going to work. If your relationship is based on sex alone it will crash and burn with both leaving very hateful , putting the blame on each other.

Most are not willing to wait for the one , because we are selfish we want it now , we want it yesterday. If you the Dominant or submissive operate like this you will have a very lonely life and in some cases abusive.

I get emails all the time of those wanting advice , i email back with my opinion and I never hear back, why? Because it was not what they wanted to hear. They did not want the truth, they wanted to hear everything was going to be alright.

Life is based on two actions and only two. Choices and Consequences

vile

 

 

A New Dungeon In Town , Orlando Florida. The Ninth Circle

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Education, Bdsm events, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, communication, Dominants Protocol, fisting, MAST, MAsT Kissimmee Florida, Master And Slave, Masters And Slaves Together, Old Guard, Old Leather Guard, Orlando Florida. The Ninth Circle, Safe and Sane, slave, Submission, submissive, suspension, The Ninth Circle, Total Power Exchange, viledesires62@aol.com on September 22, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

The Ninth Circle

is a membership community for Education and Socialization within the Leather lifestyle……
Arianna and I were talking a couple of weeks ago and she brought up a new group on fetlife , she thought we may have something in common. As she passed the tablet and I began reading , my thoughts were WOW.
I love structure , I love Protocols , I love Education , but most of all I love when there is a place where people can go and play and not have to worry about not being safe. A place with structure, protocols and rules.
Although pictures were not allowed there are a few on the Ninth Circles website. As you walk in there is a meeting area, and a small snack bar.
Arianna and I were the first to arrive , I was really stoked and I will explain more here in a few. The class we were attending was the Introduction to leather and the History. Then after the introduction the tour of the Dungeon , I will be the first to admit with being to other Dungeons in Florida I was not really expecting very much.. What I mean is once you have seen a Dungeon you have seen them all, but this was not the case..
Master Stephen runs the Ninth Circle along with The Lady Kathryn… Master Stephen was very friendly , well spoken and he carries a lot of knowledge.  A Leather man who entered the lifestyle back in 1972 and one who was once mentored is now mentoring those who wish to carry such an honor and earning Leather.
Master Stephen opened the door to the Dungeon and as Arianna and I walked in my jaw dropped open.  The setting was awesome, the lighting was just right, new indoor outdoor carpet , I believe there were three St Andrew cross’s, a spanking bench , but Master Stephen called it a fisting bench. Two swings and a setup for bondage and suspension. Then onto the toys and my favorite which Arianna hates the Violet wand. I asked Master Stephen to use it on her nipples and she felt it for some 30 minutes after.
 You can read all about the Ninth Circle here…
 http://www.theninthcircleorlando.com/
A little more about Master Stephen:
“I entered into a life of Leather back in 1972 in New York. I was blessed to be mentored by a true Old Guard Leather Man with deep insight and personal integrity. He instilled this way of life in me, and in so many others. I was called to take over his house when we lost him to cancer in 1984. Now some 30 years later I still hold true to the traditions of my Mentor. I strive to pass knowledge and insight along to others with a true and serious desire to live a leather life, a life of personal integrity, dignity and a compassion and concern for others.
I further believe that life has changed since 1972; some for the better and some NOT SO MUCH! So, with that said, I recognize that there needs to be a current and relevant presentation of the traditions and values my Mentor taught me. For me that means looking at each person seeking mentoring and take into consideration their personal reality. It is not hard to teach the traditions and respect one need to hold for a mentor and for the lifestyle when you are living it!”
https://fetlife.com/groups/123155
Now On to why Leather is so passionate to me, Vile….
I am passionate about a few things, my relationship with my slave, the lifestyle as a whole, safety , any type of abuse and Education. I also have a few things on my bucket list.
First was to have a MAsT Chapter , it was a very long road some 6 months in the making but in the end I was giving the opportunity. Second was earning Leather , I am very Passionate about this. That was our main reason going to The Ninth Circle, but after reading the mentoring program I will have to look at a different avenue..
To me Leather is about Integrity, Honor, Discipline, Trust, Respect, Service. Its about holding ourselves to a higher standard, and I truly believe this, it is also about education , sharing with others.
If your ever in the area please check out the Ninth Circle you will have a lot of fun…..
Vile

Finding A Dominant Or Master On Fetlife

Posted in Bad Dominant, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Dating Sites, Bdsm events, BDSM Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, cock sucking, compatibility, consequences, Dominant, exposing bad dominants, FaceBook Vile Woods, Fake Dominants, Fetish, fetishes, fetlife, Fetlife Fetishes, Fetlife Groups, Manipulation, Master, Master and slave relationship, Meeting a Dominant for the first time, Meeting a new Dominant, Meeting your new Dom/Master, munchs, Safe and Sane, sane and consensual, Self Proclaimed Master, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock on July 14, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

There are some days I just sit and shake my head. I limit my friends on Fetlife mainly because I do not want my friends feed full of junk and drama.
As a matter of fact I am going to clean house later today on my friends list.

Fetlife is really an awesome social site , you have millions of people , many who share the same fetishes with you, the same kinks and maybe the same interest when it comes to submission. There is a group for any kind of fetish you can think of.

What is really awesome is you have the ability to fins a partner if you want to invest enough time. If you truly know what you want and need there is a partner for you, be it a male, or female , Dominant , submissive , baby girl, daddy dom, pony play everything is right there at your finger tips.

Fetlife is worldwide , now please let it be known I am not pimping fetlife but I have been a member for a very long time , and it is one of the only social sites out there that is not covered with spam……

The search is relatively easy , you can search by country , state and in most cases even the city you live in.. If you find someone who strikes your interest shoot them a email because it is free….

So finding a Dominant a submissive a slave can be time consuming but it can be done with enough research and Patience….

So from time to time I like to perv profiles, it is funny because on Facebook you want to see where people are from and who their friends are, on Fetlife you want to see what your friends look like naked..

So you come across a Doms profile or a Masters profile , you perv his pics and most are cock pics , well this is the way he thinks, that is where his brain is located. Second you read his profile many times it is blank but then you look at the list of groups he belongs to..

Here is a Dominant I ran across this morning and his profile is blank.. However he does have a huge list of groups he belongs to.

…but i like it rough
1950’s Household Relationships
69 by 420: Marijuana Kinky
Accidental Nudity
Adult Movie Theaters
Any RolePlay, Any Time!
Anything Taboo
BBW AND MEN WHO ADORE THEM………………..
BBW Women of Cental Florida
Being groped or fingered in public
Big Brothers/Big Sisters of littles
Braless in public
Breed My Fertile Cunt
Brevard Kinksters
Candle Wax
Cheating wives and girlfriends
Confession
Consensual Nonconsent
Cum In Panties
Cumming in public
Curvy Women and the People Who Love Them
CYBER SEX IN WEBCAM
Daddy Doms and babygirls
Daddy ~ girl Relationships
Daddy/Daughter Love
DADDY/teen girls
Devilishly Single
Dirty Old Men & Young Sluts
Dirty, Filthy, Naughty, Perverted & Taboo
Dominants Who Loan Their submissives/slaves to Others For Sex.
Domme Daughters for sub daddys role play
EDGEPLAY
Erotic Word Games
Erotica of All Kinds
Erotica, for writers and readers.
Exhibitionists/Nudists.
Fantasies & Role Play: Bound, Gagged and Raped
Fantasy Rape Stories
Female Squirters/Gushers
FetLife Announcements
Fetlife Classifieds
FLICK- (Floridians Living in Consensual Kink), Central Florida
Florida bbw & the men that love them!
Florida Singles
Florida Squirters
Florida Threesomes
Forced Exhibitionism
Forced Orgasms
Forcing girl to go in public with remote control vibrator deep in her pussy…
Fuck Friends
Fuck or Pass (without any drama)
Fuck or pass.
Fucked While Sleeping
Guys who like to masturbate to women’s fetlife photos & Women who like guys masturbating to their fetlife photos
Hand over Mouth/Drugged Kidnap Play
Having sex with pregnant women
I ❤ Squirting!
Incest Role Play
Interracial Love
Kink-Friendly Housing / Apartments / Roommates etc.
Kinky Parents
Masters & slaves
Masters and slaves
May/December Kinky
Munch of Central Brevard
Naked Family
naughty / sexual ageplay
nudism
Orgasm Denial
Orlando – BBW and people who love them!
Orlando area sex party hub
Orlando Daddy Masters and babygirls
Orlando Golden showers and Water Sports
Orlando Kinksters
Orlando Kinky Swingers
Orlando Personals
Orlando Play Partners
Orlando Poly
Orlando!! Meat Market
people that like pee play
People who are awake at 3:00 a.m.
Picnic
Play Rape
Playing Overtly or Covertly in Public
PREGNANT AND PLAYING
Rape play
Rape Roleplay
Really Taboo
Rough Sex
SEX WITH STRANGERS
Skinny Dipping
Skype Webcam chat
Sluts, Cunts, and Whores
SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE
Sons Of Anarchy Fan Club
Squirty Girls
submission by cam
Talking Dirty
Tattoos!
Teasing To The Brink Of Orgasm
The Oral Sex Classifieds.
The Woodshed Orlando
Tittie lovers
Unpartnered Little Girls
Upskirt peeking
Webcam Encounters
Winter Park, FL Kinksters
Young BBW (18-30) and admirers!
Young Breeders
Young Individuals Looking for Older Partners and Vice Versa

While pretty interesting he has no ties to the community at all, this should be a huge red flag. Blank profile. You want someone who is active in the local community , but mot of all you want someone who knows what they are doing. There is a reason this Dom is not part of the community because I am going to guess he is not welcome or he is just a predator.

This profile is actually on a friend of mine friends list and he was mentoring her…. She is pretty new to the lifestyle and is at a point where she is not listening, shrugs ….

Look at the groups , check out the fetish list see if your compatible , if your not into bestiality or watching your Master being fucked up the ass then he is probably not the dom for you.

Now it is true just because he is active in the community does not make him a good dominant, some are active but most times you will be warned…

It is not science it is common sense..

bill

I fucking Love Bill he is the Man, well next to me

Vile

Student accused of sexual assault says ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ made him do it

Posted in abuse, assault, bdsm, Fantasy, fifty shades of grey, Rape, Safe and Sane, sex, sexual assault with tags , , , , , on February 25, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

By Marisa Kabas on February 24, 2015

THE DAILY DOT

If there’s any lesson we can learn from the intense controversy surrounding the film version of Fifty Shades of Grey, it’s that when it comes to participating in BDSM, consent is key. But a young man in Illinois claims not to have gotten the message.

Mohammad Hossain, 19, a freshman at the University of Illinois, was arrested in Cook County for allegedly sexually assaulting a 19-year-old woman. He said it was a reenactment of Fifty Shades.

According to Assistant State Attorney Sarah Karr, Hussein brought the woman to his dorm room and asked her to remove all her clothing, except her bra and underwear. He then bound her hands and legs with belts and stuffed a necktie in her mouth.

Hossain used a knit cap to cover the woman’s eyes, Karr said, and removed the woman’s bra and underwear. He then began striking the woman with a belt. After hitting her several times, the woman told Hossain he was hurting her, told him to stop “and began shaking her head and crying,” said Karr.

Hossain continued striking the woman—including with his fists, according to an arrest report—and she managed to get one arm, and then another, free. But he then held her arms behind her back and sexually assaulted her as she continued to plead for him to stop, according to Karr.

The young woman finally escaped and told police what had happened. Hossain was arrested later that night and a judge set his bail at $500,000.

Although the victim of the alleged assault claims she told Hossain to stop multiple times during the encounter, he appears not to have gotten the message. When asked by the presiding judge how Hossain could have “let a movie persuade him to do something like this,” Hossain’s attorney replied that her client considered the act “consensual.”

Trust And BDSM

Posted in 55 Gallon Aquarium, 60 Gallon Aquarium, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Safety, Commit, commitment, communication, compatibility, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominants, Master, Master And Slave, Patience, Safe and Sane, Security, slave, Submission, submissive, submit, Total Submission with tags , , , , , , , , , , on December 4, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Trust is a huge need in our lifestyle. Without trust you cannot fully submit , you can submit but not fully. Your body and actions can submit but your mind cannot. If your mind cannot submit there is noway of knowing what the feeling is or what the meaning of submission is.

I have an awesome hobby and that is my awesome freshwater planted aquariums. I have a 60 Gallon aquarium and a 55 Gallon that Arianna set up for me.

In my 60 gallon I have a few very unique fish. Two Baby Whales an Elephant Nose , and my Black Ghost Knife.
The fish are not only unique but they are not for the novice Aquarist , which is a mistake I made first starting out , but it turned out I was pretty lucky, because all are going on a year now and growing a becoming more active.

All of the fish are very docile so I have to be careful what i add to the tank.

It was some 6 months those 4 fish would hide and only come out for feeding then back to hiding, so for some time they were not that enjoyable….

The last month has there has been so many changes , now the 4 of them are out all day.

The other day I called Arianna into the living room , and I put my hand in the tank near the top and the two Baby Whales and the Elephant nose came to the top and they allowed me to touch them.

Then again this am I called Arianna in and I had a cube of blood worms in my hand and all 4 and my two clown Loaches were eating from my hand, which is really cool to watch.

As far as freshwater fish got all 4 of those fish are highly intelligent and can even be trained.

I have planted the aquariums with all live plants , the plants help keep the water in check but they also add beauty to the tank.
What I felt was important was , I wanted to try and duplicate their environment , with plants , rocks , and driftwood.

The plants , rocks and driftwood also provide a secure place for them to hide. It has a very natural setting and really makes them feel at home.

In the process I also purchased what are called schooling fish , white clouds, some neon tetras and a few others.
The first week they are stuck together and it really looked awesome and it was really relaxing to just sit back and watch them move through the water.

One night I was sitting and just watching, I had turned off the lights in the living room so I could truly enjoy the view , and I noticed something really odd.

As I sat there and watched none of the fish were schooling they were all doing there own thing. Swimming around moving in and out of the plants and driftwood.
Sitting there and looking I was somewhat confused , and I thought something was wrong.

So I jump on Google , which is my second best friend , and started doing research , not really finding anything , I called someone I know who owns a local pet store , mostly fish and I was telling him what was going on.
After a few seconds of silence he started talking. You my friend have the perfect environment , you have created a home.
What is more important they feel safe , they do not feel threatened in anyway and the only reason fish school is so they can protect each other.

That is the same with my 4 buddy’s allowing me to pet them they trust me. That is the same reason they no longer hide they trust me and they trust their environment.

The same was when I sat up my 55 Gallon this is before I called my friend.
Arianna and went to a pet store and I purchased white clouds and neons because the tank was in my office and it would be relaxing to watch during work.
A week into adding the fish I turned and looked and I was like what the fuck? There was not one fish that was schooling , that is when I made the call.

Okay so what am I getting at ? Where am I going with this ? What is the point in me talking about my hobby ?

In our lifestyle trust is everything , because without trust you have nothing. If you do not have trust your relationship cannot grow and you will never reach the full potential of your submission. Meaning you will lose out on a lot, you will not see yourself grow inside or out.

In order to reach that level of trust you have to have honest and open communication.
Once you have gained the level of trust , and the Dominant has earned your trust your travel them begins.
You will have the need to submit and not just the want. You will have the need to serve and you will have the need to grow.

That is what you want out of a relationship , that is what you need out of the relationship.

I have said many times communication is the key and the base of the relationship , but Trust also plays a major factor in your growth.

Trust knowing the one you are following is going to lead you down the right path. Trust knowing the one your with is going to respect your limits. Trust is knowing you will not be hurt mentally or physically.
Trust is knowing your number one and will remain number one.

Arianna and I went out and I was looking for a new ecig battery ,and during the conversation I started asking questions about the liquid he was selling.
I was truly interested in one of the batteries he had , then he opened his mouth and started lying to me, and I knew it , but I just stood there listening to what he had to say.
At the end of the conversation I thanked him for his time and I left without buying anything.

I have a one strike process , not the standard three you get while playing baseball.
The problem with giving three strikes you usually end up giving another then another, and another.

If a man hits you once , he will do it again , and again. If he calls you a stupid whore out of anger he will do it again and again. If he cheats on you then yes he will do it again and again.

I have a statement I live by. An angry mans words is a calm mans thoughts. so if he gets angry and starts yelling and belts out you stupid whore , those words did not just come to mind , he has thought of those words before.

You can love and not trust , you love because you need the companionship , you also the security. You can love well sorta love and not enjoy being with that one.

trust

Vile

Is There A Perfect Slave

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, Breaking Rules, Building a BDSM Relationshp, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Conversation, Discipline, Dominant, Dominants, Health, Master, punish, Punishment, Safe, Safe and Sane, slave, Submission, submissive, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 11, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am going to include a submissive as well , because I firmly believe you can achieve perfection in both a submissive and a slave.

It is us the Dominants or the Masters who set the pace of the relationship.
We are the ones who builds the forms , and we call in the cement trucks to pour the foundation.

Before any of this begins you have the plans to your relationship already drawn up. You already have an idea of the lay out of your new relationship.

Once the foundation is poured you can begin construction on your new relationship.

The problem with some builders they tend to cut corners to cut cost, and we know in the long run this does not pay off.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Then we start with the frame work of our new relationship….

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

These are steps that have to be taking in a new relationship as well.

It is up to the Dominant to make sure everything falls into place. So we watch and guide through the whole process.
We watch the start of the framing , the pouring of the concrete, then the framing of the new house. W have come up with the perfect floor plan to fit our needs, the lighting, the fixtures , and even the appliances.
We have a plan when it comes to the landscaping.
Everything just falls into place , until we stand back and we are looking at perfection.

Is there a perfect Slave or Submissive, the answer is yes. The perfection comes from the Dominant and his training.

Something I do not see much about is goals, goals within the relationship, and goals for the submissive or slave. In any relationship goals are very important and that is something that should be talked about prior to entering a new relationship.
Here in the next day or so I am going to make a post about goals and the needs of having goals put into place…
We are here to build something, we are here to build something great, we want ours to excel in life, we want to set goals for improvement.

goals

As we continue building our relationship , and we have poured the foundation, we have the framing finished now we add the finishing touch, and our home is complete.

house

Although our building is finished now we have the daily maintenance in order to keep it up.
This is the same thing in a relationship it requires daily maintenance, and that would be communication
Often in a D’s or M’s relationship the communication is one way , and that would be a Dominant barking orders, and in reality once you have everything in place the Dominant seldom has to bring anything up.

Some two years ago Arianna asked me , how am I suppose to learn? My answer was observe and listen , I want you to be able to anticipate my needs , and she thought I was setting her up for failure but that was not the case because today she does just that.

If treated right and shown love and that you care the Submissive or Slave will not only want to but will have the need to please.

If the the sub or slave is going to put you first in their life , they deserve the same in return..

If things are not going your way , if your sub or slave is not following rules , or your not able to train, or your just having problem in general, do not blame them.

You the Dominant needs to set back and reevaluate what your doing because chances are it is something you are doing. The Dominant is quick to put the blame on someone else, because it could never be him, but in fact most of the time it is.

Communication is the base of the relationship , but with communication comes positive reinforcement , positive reinforcement goes a very long way in building a relationship and this should be practiced daily.

Choices and consequences that is life , that is what life is about. We make choices and we have to face the consequences good or bad.

In a little over two years Arianna has been punished one time and only one time. I have rules in place and Arianna broke a rule maybe not on purpose but she did and to me it was something serious.
Today she knows although there are choices there are also consequences. A Sub or slave will strive for perfection , and that comes with positive reinforcement and communication. Although I do believe in punishment , it is seldom needed because the worst punishment to a sub or slave is knowing they displeased their owner.

BDSM is not about punishing your property , BDSM is about a stable partnership where you build up each other.

As a Dominant you should not have have to punish to prove who you are, your actions should be able to do that, you keeping your word , being honest , and staying consistent.

Again if your relationship is not going as planned , chances are the Dominant needs to sit down and reevaluate what your doing and maybe you need to change somethings up.

If you have anger issues or maybe your controlling you will need to fix those before you can proceed , so you can have a healthy relationship.
You should not take your anger out on your partner , you should not take your problems out on your partner nor your drama.

Believe it or not Arianna and I have zero problems our life is completely drama free. We do however have obstacles come our way , but I handle them, and we move forward , this is all part of the daily maintenance after your house is built.

We cannot expect perfection if we are not willing to build and keep up what we build.

submission

Vile