The Collar Is Earned

Over the years the Collar has lost much of its meaning. Today most come with Velcro, and many times the Dominant uses the same collar over and over, bought at a cheap adult store of even the flea market, and as your eating dinner out someplace its tossed at you and your told to put it on.

Just as the Dominant or Master has to remain consistent , the same goes for the submissive or slave, I am going to use an M’s relationship right now. A couple of weeks ago I made the statement that I did not believe a submissive should be allowed to wear a collar, for the most I still believe this, but there are true D’s relationships where the submissive does earn their collar, so I am kinda back tracking some.

The Velcro collar is really a your gonna suck my cock collar or I am going to fuck you collar nothing more. If you have earned your collar in a week, two weeks a month, you have to think what have I done to really earn the right to wear a collar. That should be your train of thought. Once the Velcro collar is placed around your neck the Dominants attitude then changes. He is more forceful, more arrogant , more non caring, you have seen this.

So the Dom you meet or Master they have to earn the right to be called Sir or Master. How do they do this ? They have to prove to you who and what they are. Surely this is something that cannot be done in a week or a month. They have to be everything they have told you and more. The Dominant has to prove that he has your best interest in mind, that he truly cares for you, that he truly wants you to be the best you can be. Again this cannot be done in a week or even a month, it is done by showing he can keep his word and stay consistent on a daily basis. So for someone to demand you call them Sir or Master is really pretty unrealistic. Who are you calling Sir or Master the Dominant or their ego? Are you going to feed into his ego ?

The Submissive or Slave earns their collar. How is this done ? It is by showing consistency , completing task on a daily basis, following rules on a daily basis, following protocols on a daily basis. Can this be done in a week or even a month ? If your thinking with a clear mind you know the answer. Would you marry someone on the first date? Would you marry someone the first week? I really doubt it because you really do not even know them.

When I met Arianna I gave her a collar of protection. We went to local events, I had friends over who were in the lifestyle, we went out to dinner with friends in the lifestyle. I wanted her to see both sides of the fence. I wanted her to see other couples and how they lived. I wanted her to make new friends which has not really gone very well. Most of all I wanted to show her how a real M’s relationship worked.

I made no demands when it came to what she wanted to call me, for the longest she called me Vile, a month into the relationship she started to call me Sir. It would not be till almost a year before I placed a collar around her neck. The truth is she had proved way before she deserved my collar. As a matter of fact the first time I offered she refused stating she was not ready.

When we talk about a D’s relationship compared to an M’s relationship we are talking about two different worlds. Arianna has no rights at all. Arianna has no say at all, Arianna makes no decisions at all. Now this could be a bad thing if I did not have her best interest in mind, but the decisions I make effects both of us, so it is very important I keep a clear head. Because what I do does not just effect me it effects both.

June 15th of last year at 6.45am we were married, at that time we had our collaring ceremony, both the wedding and ceremony was performed by a slave. I placed the collar around Ariannas neck, and it has been off one time, and that was when we went to a jeweler to see if he would be able to add a diamond. It is locked, she cannot take it off, nor has she asked to take it off.  She does wear it to work, yes she works with the public. She does wear it around her family they know of our lifestyle, she does wear it around my family they do know of our lifestyle. She has the need to wear the collar, and when she reaches up to touch it, it reminds her of who and what she is.

Both have to remain consistent, both have to be willing to give, both have to have the want to give, both have to have the need to give, you have to have all of these ingredients for the relationship to work.

Once the collar is placed around the neck and it is locked it should not be removed. This is my belief.

There are play collars that are used, I do understand that. There is nothing wrong with wearing a collar during play. Wearing a collar during play gives the submissive a feeling of loss of control, maybe a little humiliation comes into play , it does spice things up.

There are several different collars. A collar of consideration, a collar of protection, a training collar, then the formal collar, so use a collar of ownership. I use two collars. A collar of protection, then the formal collar.

I am not speaking from a D’s aspect, I am strictly speaking from an M’s side of things. Master and Slave.

If you earn your collar, you will get so much more out of the relationship. If it is just giving to you, what meaning does it really have?

Vile

Today I Am Slave Vile

So I have been looking for a new master for a few months, I joined collarme.com because well that just seems like the place. There are so many Masters to choose from. I know I am new and I am inexperienced but surely I will find someone who will except me.

So I made a profile, and within 24 hours I have received over 250 emails, wow I cannot believe the response I have gotten. Then I notice there are three who live relatively close to me. So after a little thinking I decided to write each one and see how things go

The next morning I get three reply’s all giving me their Yahoo messenger so I log in and I add each name. Now I am feeling excited because I really do not know what to expect.

So after a little hesitation I send my first Message, Hello? I wait and wait, then finely that would be Master, how are you doing today?

I am doing well thank you hmmm Master.

So what are you looking for ? I am looking for a Master someone who can teach me about BDSM.

I only saw the one pic on your profile do you have any more ? Yes I can send through messenger if you would like. Yes send them now. There I sent four that is all I have at the moment.

Very pretty I love your eyes. I am looking for a Slave someone I can collar, but I really need to see more of you.

More of me ? Yes more you sent pics but there were no full body pics, I want to see all of you, do you have a cam? Yes I do, would you like to see me? Yes now, I will let you know upfront I am a very strict Master, and I have no problems punishing my slave.

What is your favorite position if your being fucked? Well I love it doggy style. I really hate being on top because it makes me feel like I am in control. Do you like oral sex? Yes. Do you swallow? I have but it is not my favorite. Well I expect my slave to swallow. Do you like anal sex? It is okay Ive done it once it hurt a little. I love anal sex and I take it when ever I want. Where is your cam?

How many slaves do you own now? I am single as of now so I am really looking. What kind of work do you do? I am in between jobs but I can afford to take my time. So turn your cam on.

So you spend a day chatting, you send pics, you get naked on cam for what you hope to be your new Master, you just open yourself wide open. He knows everything about you, things you have not even told your closest friends.

Now the next day your going to meet.

What would you like for me to wear? How short is your shortest skirt ? Well I really do not own a short skirt, and I cannot afford to by one. Okay wear the shortest dress you have and your not allowed to wear any panties, understood. Why no panties I really don’t feel comfortable not wearing any? Because I am the Dom, and you are suppose to please me.

So where would you like to meet? I know where this park is, it is kinda private we could really talk. I would like to meet someplace in public if that is okay like maybe a restaurant? 

So I show up about a half hour early waiting and waiting, then I finely see him walk through the door, and I am thinking really? OMG what have I gotten myself into.

So this guy sits down I get this big know in my stomach and he is just starring at me. I have questions I want to ask but I am not sure how to go about it. I really don’t want to make him mad.

Did you wear panties ? I think for a second and I say no I did not. Let me see lift up your dress. So I hesitate then I slowly lift up my dress exposing myself right there in front of everyone.

So John I have a few questions to ask? That would be Master. Hmm okay Master I had a few questions I would like to ask. Sure you can ask anything. How long have you been in the lifestyle? I have been a Master for 20 plus years.

Okay what makes you a Dominant? I like being in control, giving orders and I punish when it is needed. Okay well as I said I am not really into pain. That is okay I can train you to like pain not a problem. How many slave have you owned? I have owned hmmm lets see 9 I have owned 9 slaves. Okay would it be possible is I spoke to one of them or maybe emailed you know as a reference. There is no need for that I have already told you everything about me. I have not been in contact with any of them for a long time. You can trust me.

Well look it is getting late, we should get a room so we can start your training today? My training? Yes I want to see how well you suck cock, that is very important to me. I want to show you the way I like it.

Sucking cock is part of training? Look what is up with all these questions are you a slave or not? Are you looking for a master or not> Your lucky I even wanted to meet you.

Look I brought this training collar, you can put it on. So I will own you now. But we just met is this how it works? It is how I work, remember I am the master you are the slave.

Umm okay well are you active in the local BDSM community? Nah I don’t believe in showing off or proving anything to people I know who I am. Well do you know any other Masters? Sure I do. Would it be possible to meet your friends? There is no need I am a very private person.

Come on lets start your training.

Now many of you have been through the same scenario, many of you have heard the same words. The only difference is, you either were scared to ask any questions, or you did not know you should ask questions. 

The Dominant who insisted on being called Master gave you no real answers, he spent more time beating around the bush. He had one thing on his mind and that was getting his cock sucked, and chances are he would want you to pay half of the room or he may even want you to pay for all of it.

When meeting someone new. Do not ever let someone tell you what to wear. You wear what you feel safe in. Never let anyone demand you call them Master, nor do you let anyone offer you a collar on the first meeting. Remember a collar is earned.

You should never put yourself in any type of danger. Asking you to meet at a park is the first bad sign. Your going someplace wear a dress and no panties.

Ask questions take a list with you. When you ask look into his eyes, the eyes tell all, his hands the way he moves his fingers when he is being confronted. References are very important, are you just going to take some guys words you met on an adult dating site, the one with 20 years experience. Really are you.

Maybe go to a motel and get your ass beat, a black eye, a busted lip or worse.

Everyone of you be it a submissive or slave you have so much to offer, you have so much to give. Do not let someone take advantage of you, take what you are wanting to give, use you then toss you aside.

Be careful and play safe. Hey if you have something to prove and he is able to answer all your questions and you feel safe, have at it, but just be sure.

Remember your safe call which I did not do. Take a picture of his tag send it to a friend. Go the extra mile pay for a back ground check about 20 bucks. Call several times during your meeting. Have your friend call the restaurant so the waiter can give you a message. Let the new Dom know whats going on. If he is okay he will see nothing wrong with it. Always have his first and last name. You all have met Doms and did not know there last name.

Finely get there home address, where they work, and let it be known you will want to stop by his house to visit. If he acts surprised and starts to makes excuses then the conversation should be over. Simply get up and walk out no questions and no answers needed.

You do not need to end up someplace as a Jane Doe. nor does your family.

Vile