Break Me

BarbieBreaker is looking for a Barbie to break. As my username says i am here to break you. Modify you as i wish and make you the one i want. Msg me if you are interested.

Ruthless Australian Sadist seeks Female (Online).

It takes an intelligent, twisted, experienced mind to break a woman – qualities I absolutely possess.

What I offer is safe, discreet, and online.

Read my profile – if you aren’t scared off, message me directly

looking for whore to break online. looking for a whore i can psychologically break. That i can get deep into her head. And Completely destroy and break her mind

These are just a few adds running and my question is why? I’ve had slaves ask me in the past, will you break me? My question again why ? Well! I want to experience it. No you don’t, trust me.

When looking at fetlife profiles look at the groups these doms belong to, and that will tell you their outlook on women. These are not Doms a sadist in most cases do not consider themselves to be Doms, they are sadist.

Here is a more disturbing add

Females are made to be broken…

by 45 M Sadist

If you’re a female right now and you agree with the above statement then you’re on the right track. A female is nothing more than a set of holes and tits, and I’m going to show you from day one that’s all you are. You don’t deserve love, romance, respect, or dignity. What you do deserve is what I will give you. Beatings, getting fucked, and using you in any other way I feel like. I don’t care about your wants and needs, because it’s your responsibility to take of mine.

I’m not going to treat you nicely, fairly, or in any sort of romantic way. I will however break you mentally and physically and it’ll be a 24 hour thing when you travel with me daily in my semi. If you’re not able to travel with me for some reason or another, you will be made to be on web cam most of the day and host me when I come to town. We can discuss things here on fet, but I expect to be able to move to video chat and phone not long after you’re able to agree to what I’m looking to do to you.

You need to be a biological female, 18-40 years old, and have a slim to average body. You need to understand how I feel about females or at least be on the road to that point. I will push you over the edge with the daily use and abuse of your body. I travel from Wisconsin to California and I expect if you’re not able to relocate and travel with me, to be capable of hosting or meeting me when I’m in your area, and video chat daily. I will control everything you do daily.

If this is something you are interested in, you need to send me your height/weight/bra size in the subject line, and in the body of the message you need to tell me why I should pick you to be my whore. I’ve talked to a few whores here in the past few weeks who were unserious about this, so I would hope the next whore will be the one who’s going to be her full time. I hope you’re able to follow directions, for if you don’t, your message will be deleted unread

In most cases these are men who are looking for a just a justifiable reason to abuse.

If you break something you have to fix it. If done on line and it can be done, the submissive has no one to turn to.

It is no secret today that there is a severe mental health crisis going on today. One you the submissive is not going to freely offer that information. Second the dude who wants to break and humiliate you is probably not going to ask. Do you see the problem?

Stockholm Syndrome

The victim develops positive feelings toward the person holding them captive or abusing them. The victim develops negative feelings toward police, authority figures, or anyone who might be trying to help them get away from their captor. They may even refuse to cooperate against their captor.

Can you get Stockholm syndrome in a relationship?

In the context of relationships, Stockholm Syndrome is often seen in situations where one partner is controlling or manipulative. Over time, the victim may begin to feel that their abuser is the only one who truly understands them, or that their love for the abuser is the only thing that gives their life meaning.

Bipolar disorder, depression are to just name a few. If you are on medication, you can’t call your doctor and say hey it’s not working. Once you begin to freak out guess what ? That dude is gone. Think about how just interacting online, what the issues could or might be?

Again this is the mindset of what I would call an abuser or someone who is just clueless. Can you see the harm something like this could cause?

Clearly these Doms are not looking for a long term relationship. These are men who see submission as a weakness. This gives an open book to abuse and use as they see fit.

Now there are those who are open and even need such treatment. There are those who need to be treated as such. There are those who think they want to be treated as such until the game begins. Most are those with fantasies tire very quickly or get bored and move on to the next victim.

I have had a few slaves approach me and ask me to break them. My question was why? Because I want to know what it feels like. My answer was there is no end game, there are no goals but most important, I have zero need to spend my time when I get nothing out of it.

You do not have to break someone to create what you need. You can create the perfect submissive or slave. However it does take time.

The lifestyle is not about abuse, it is about two people coming together who have similar interests. Two working together to build something strong.

This is just a rant, I do not condone any type of violence or abuse.

Thank you for stopping by.

I may start doing vlogs instead of typing everything.

Much love

Vile

The photo is Arianna

So I am me, I am my own. I walk my own path.

Our thoughts and belief system is different. We all live different

I have my own world, and when I walk out the door, I breath in the fresh air and think to myself the world is mine, and I truly believe that.

I’ve had problems and they were self inflicting. 90% of our problems are self inflicted. We either stand up and fix them or just run, and more often it is easier to run, but they always catch up.

I was going to retract a statement I made, but I’ve changed my mind and I have the right to do that. After all this world and the way I live my life is my own. Everything that I or Arianna have Acquired has been done through hard work. We have not asked for any help from friends or family. I’ve never lived anywhere rent free.

More about me, I paid child support for 13 years and never missed a payment. I was suppose to pay 85.00 a week but every Friday I transferred 150. Even when unemployed I made the payment every week. That did not include clothes or school trips.

I’m getting to my point here in a few. Just because I believe a certain way does not mean that anyone needs to agree with me and 90% do not, but I am good with that. I may not agree with your beliefs or your lifestyle but that has absolutely nothing to do with me. If your way, if your relationship works for you I am happy for you. See the way I live does not affect you, just like the way you live does not affect me.

I’ve been know to miss speak, more so with my horrible writing. Arianna usually goes behind me and points things out but 2020 was a bad fucking year. We both were sick for most of 2020 and I’m not sure what kept us going. We were at the point of divorce and Arianna was within a day of signing a lease.

Remember I said problems are self inflicting? Well we both recognized the problem and we disposed of it. Any problem that arises can be handled before it gets out of hand. We failed to do that and did not recognize until it was almost to late.

I was just going to pack one bag, get in the car and my destination was going to be Alaska.

I would of just disappeared. I had made a decision based on the information provided to me.

I’ve been working on a book for a couple of years, I had it reviewed by a book club on everything I had and was giving positive feedback. This is where I am going now.

I blogged sometime ago and I believe it was titled, Women were put here to serve. I made that statement but I need to clean that up a little bit here. Remember when I said I put my foot in my mouth? Yea I did and pretty deep.

Again this is my world, today that is my house, my world.

So nothing else is going to be read now so I’m just wasting my time. The main focus is women were put here to serve.

I have always been dominant, I have never been controlling.

When Arianna and I were introduced, I hid nothing from her. The first week she knew more about me than all the friends I had at that time or previously.

Again my wording here I’m kinda all over the place here. Do I believe the women who live on either side or across the street were put here to serve? Absolutely not. Number one that is not their lifestyle nor can I force my beliefs on them. I am not some Jehovah witness passing out Vile towers trying to change people.

So you come to my house and you want to join my house, you are to serve, be it domestic or sexual.

If I bump into a woman at Walmart if I should ever go, do I believe that her only purpose is to serve? Again absolutely not.

Living in any lifestyle relationship must be consensual and nothing less. I’ve known dudes to move someone in and over night change to Dr Fucking Evil.

Yea

90% of my blog consist of talking points about safety. Females who have been abused and how to avoid anything from happening. When I first started blogging some 12 years ago and 4 million people later. My goal was and is about reaching out to as many submissive’s and slaves so maybe just maybe I can prevent anyone for being hurt. Up until a few years ago I received nasty emails from men, haha.

So anyway on the phone with someone the other day who called me a misogynist because of the way I believe.

Then I was questioned because I did not blog about gays or lesbians. I was called homophonic because I did not blog about LGBT. 

The conversation went on longer but the gist of everything was I am a misogynists that was the main, but then being homophobic.

I am not going to blog about something I am clueless in. I am a straight male who lives with a straight female slave. That makes me heterosexual does it not?

If a blog comes up on my feed and I do not like or just not interested in I pass it by. If I do take a interest I will comment. Here lately I have just forgotten. If you do not like by blog, hit that delete or take off mailing list. Don’t let me live in your head for free.

It’s now very common to hear people say, ‘I’m rather offended by that.’ As if that gives them certain rights. It’s actually nothing more… than a whine. ‘I find that offensive.’ It has no meaning; it has no purpose; it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. ‘I am offended by that.’ Well, so fucking what

Be safe out there.

Vile

Total Slavery

As a young Dominant we dreamed of owning a slave , keeping them in a cage , feeding and using when ever we wanted. Although most never reached that dream for those who did I am sure reality kicked in finding it was not possible after all. Most young slaves just entering the lifestyle had this fantasy but once reality hit it turned into a nightmare .

Being able to maintain the strictness of what you dreamed at one time would be extremely difficult , this is due to time , life and working. Today it is almost impossible to have a one income home unless you are a billionaire but if you lived in a trailer you would be a creep. Then you have medical you have to worry about after all you agreed to take care of your slave right?

Love is a motherfucker and if not careful it can cause misjudgement and gilt will hit you. Once this happens you start to lose control. Once you have lost control there is no turning back. It is almost like a car out of control during a heavy rain.

The general public for the most looks down on our way of life , many see it as abuse and again  if you google BDSM you see porn , you see men and women being what it looks like abused.

How ever there are those who have the need to be under someones wing , someone who can guide them. Many professionals still today see being submissive a sickness. but if they would actually listen and not judge their thoughts might be different. Many say they understand but how can that be if they have never lived that role?

What type of master are you ? How much responsibility do you want to take on ? How much control do you want ?

Looking over some post on Fetlife got me to thinking , those who are having trouble finding a partner , but the real story is those who are seeking a lifestyle relationship are looking in the wrong places.

Times have changed and so have people some for the better but then you have those who feel entitled. Everything should be giving and nothing earned. If you are giving a car as a child you do not appreciate it as you would if you worked and paid for it out of your own pocket.

The one who will not go out with you is the one you are afraid to ask out. Most men stay clear in fear of rejection but rejection means nothing , their loss your gain. If you are going to Wally’s Bar and Grill on Friday night looking for the one then you need a different plan.

To be a slave , to be property has to be a need and not a want , if it is just a need then training will never be effective.

A friend of mine Malkinius wrote a book called ” I Can Do This ” and it is available on Amazon.

The book starts out with a slave wanting to be trained and the first thing that is done the slave is stripped of everything. Clothes , watch , purse and yes cell phone , everything is taking and the slave enters the house naked.

Putting the slave in their place is the first step and although you will take the phone you should allow time during the day to check email , text and so on but very limited time. You direct the slave around the house and point where they may and may not sit. It was over a year before my slave was allowed to sit on any of my furniture. At the dinner table she sat at my feet to eat dinner. This will include bath time , bed time, preparing your meals and coffee in the am if you drink coffee.

Your main objective as a master is to make your life as easy as possible but there is a catch and the catch is if you expect 100% from your slave you have to give back 150% at all times. The training must remain consistent , hourly and daily. You set rules and protocols but with the rules they have to be obtainable.

 

Behavior Modification

https://www.kinkly.com/definition/6612/behavior-modification

Behavior modification is a type of consensual domination practice that involves changing undesired behaviors into more desirable ones by using reinforcement or punishment. For example, a Dominant would use behavior modification techniques to encourage a submissive to use proper titles (like Sir or Madam) at all times.

Behavior Modification is something I have been very successful with using. While the slave goes through a transformation in many cases the changes are so small the slaves does not even know.

If you enter the relationship as a dominant or submissive , master and slave the transition is more obtainable and in most cases the transition is very smooth. If you are moving from lets say a daddy and baby girl to a D’s or M’s relationship I do not believe it is possible. I also want to add using this technique must be a need and not a want. The submissive has to want to be a submissive and the same with the slave.

Behavior Modification must also be consensual while the slave must have a idea of what it going to take place the slave must also consent to such changes. Such training if not meant to be long term can be damaging to the slave , I am speaking about the mental aspect of the modification.

While you explain what you are going to do you never give a reason , you the master does not have to explain yourself. While explaining something when finished ask if there are any questions , this is the time to make things clear but again you never have to explain yourself and do not allow such behavior.

Use and use often and the most effective way is to use without notice. If you want to fuck put the slave on their back , get it done and walk away. If you want your dick suck just walk up and put your dick in the slaves mouth. Again all of this is made clear before you enter the relationship , again the word consensual.

If you have anger problems you need to rethink your lifestyle , as a master you need to remain calm , cool and collective at all times. You are the master , the owner , why would you raise your voice or argue with your slave , think about that word , Slave.

It is funny you can ask someone for a good reason why two people would argue and no one can answer that question. Arguments stem from a lack of communication. You also need to let it be known you the master can only make a informed decision based on the information giving to you.  Many slaves come from broken relationships and they can even be making that transition from a vanilla relationship. The last thing the slave needs is to be yelled at or put down.

Egos if you have a ego problem you need to open the trash can and get rid of it. A ego has not place in a M’s relationship and will set you up to fail. You are no different from the guy next door , the only difference is your lifestyle. You are no better than the person who only makes 20K a year compared to your 100K a year.

The final word

Sit your potential slave down , explain what you need and want out of a slave and listen to the slaves needs. Make your expectations clear , make your goals clear for the short term and long term..

Check out my slaves blog

Life

Fetlife you can find me

 

https://fetlife.com/users/1322593

 

Vile

 

 

 

 

How The Lifestyle Changed My Life

Even at a very young age I was kinky , going back to 12 and 13. Then I enjoyed bondage , face fucking and anal. There is just something about a nice ass that rocks my world , more so being in a nice ass.

In my late teens while stationed in Korea , my first look into a dark world I did not understand but I knew I had a connection.  Leaving Korea going stateside for a very short time then heading to Germany where I met Gretchen. Gretchen was up for anything and for two years it was like a 9 1/2 weeks. You would think after spending almost two years with someone love would of come up but neither of us used that word nor did it ever come to mind.

Heading back to the states I was even more curious , curious about something but I could not pin point it I just needed more of it. Most of the time if I went on a date it was a one time thing because if I got into her pants the real me came out.

Fast forward to the early 90’s and I met another Dom name Animel , the meeting him was just by chance and passing. While I lived in Daytona I would drive a cab part time during events. On any giving event I could make 3 or 4 thousand dollars. While sitting waiting on a call this old man pulled up next to me and struck up a conversation. It did not take long to figure out we had a lot in common and I knew he had a lot of wisdom to share. In a very short time we were like best friends and I found myself at his place just about every day. I would spend hours just listening to him about his life , relationships and why they failed..

At this time I had one thing on my mind and that was pussy. Back then yahoo was the best search engine when it came to finding someone. You could search other users right down to the city. Your search could include , submissive , slave , hair color everything. Then you pulled up their profile and off went a message.

Most Dominants place the blame on the submissive when a relationship fails , I find this hard to believe , because in my experience if the relationship fails it falls directly on the Dominant.  One lying about who he was , two not willing to put any effort into the relationship and last not staying consistent.

I met Bee on yahoo how fucking awesome and our relationship lasted for almost 7 years and when we split yes it was my fault. After Bee I jumped from bitch to bitch , most ending in less than a week. Those that lasted longer than a week was only because I wanted the companionship. As humans we tend to settle for less just for the sake of having companionship. I met Bee about 3 months before my divorce , the entire 7 years I was married and miserable I might add , I remained loyal. I remained loyal because while most might disagree I had some morals. The marriage was a mistake and I had to own it.  Prior to getting married I was in a long term relationship with a little Korean who danced for a living. This was a relationship that lasted 7 years or so and she ended up moving back home due to her parents health.

Being a Dominant is not a part time job , nor can you train a submissive or slave on a part time basis. So ask a Dominant or most how they train ? Ask a Dominant about his protocols and you get a blank stare. The training question never gives you a answer or a answer I got from a Dominant last year when he stated he was training a new submissive , of okay what is your training techniques ? The answer he was was uh you know the usual. Yes really that was the answer.

You as the Dominant you have to sit down and figure out not only who you are but what you want out of a relationship. Again a part time Dominant only gets part time submission and nothing more and if you expect more you are just living a fantasy and nothing more.

To train someone you have to have a clear understanding of what it is you want out of life. How do you picture your life? What type of submissive or slave are you looking for ? What amount of control do you want in your relationship?

If you are already in a relationship or even married the partner you are with can be trained , and can be trained and in most cases not even know it. It is much easier to talk you your spouse than to look elsewhere , unless you are upfront about your plans.

Back in the day I was pretty wild , heavy into pills , I smoked more pot than I can remember . Germany was good , I smoked Hash and a lot of beer , I love beer.

After I exited out of the Army and I lost my first two jobs I knew I had to do something and I just quiet everything cold turkey.

The lifestyle I knew I was different but I could not pin point what I was feeling or the way I was thinking. I knew I was different and I also knew if I wanted to find a partner I needed someone like me. It did not take me long to be able to recognize those who were submissive , but I was not looking for anything long term , just someone for the weekends.

Years go by and I began to feel like I was missing something and that was someone to come home to. I lived with several knowing all would be short term but I had company and I was able to get my kink on. I have never allowed clothing to be worn inside the home and getting dressed when company came over it depended on who it was.

At one point in life I tried to change , I truly thought I was missing out on something so I walked away from the lifestyle and married Vanilla. I wanted the house , the dog and kid but little did I know I would spend the next 9 years being miserable. I have made a few mistakes but this would be a mistake I would pay for 18 years.

I was married for 9 miserable years , and I paid for it and in the end I walked away with a son who was barely 8 years old. I left a house and a shit load of money. During my marriage while being unhappy I remained loyal. I did not step outside of our marriage because when I married her I made an agreement.  I am a man of Morals and integrity , if I give you my word you can take it to the bank.

My life has changed over the years and for the good. It is a different feeling when you own someone instead of just the thought of being married. In my head the responsibility is much greater. You not only own , your decisions affect someone more because your slave looks not only up to you, but follows you through good and bad. We as Masters making the setting. I tend to think things out more logically , thinking of the consequences as well as the good and bad.

You have a slave who depends on you to make the right decisions , you own a slave who has the thinking you have their best interest in mind. Our fuck ups can have a rolling effect , mentally and if you continue to fuck up there will surely be a loss of respect.

We as Masters cannot continue to make mistakes and expect to be looked up to , or even expect someone to follow our rules.

Our slave must be our main focus , our slave must come first even before family and friends.

Today my life is perfect ,  and many when I explain just how my life is I just get a blank stare as if my story is unbelievable.

I want for nothing including sex , sex is always on my terms. Sometimes I tend to get relaxed and I start taking advantage of the girls and tend to take more than I am giving back. When I speak of giving back that would be communication and just listening. Arianna gives me a little reminder and I get back on track.

The lifestyle has made me more responsible for my actions ,  I think things through before action. I never put more on my plate than I can handle.. In my relationship Arianna come first even before family , Lynn comes first as well. I think that is a huge mistake Doms make not putting their property first…

I have grown calmer over the years and I came to realize there is nothing really to get angry over. Why would you yell of abuse someone who lays on their back or sucks your dick? I learned long ago to think before I speak , it gives me time to process my thoughts and words.

You want the world but you are not willing to put any effort into making the relationship work. BDSM is so much more than having someone suck your dick , then you get angry when things do not go your way. You make unrealistic demands , demands you would not do.

Your Property comes first no matter what , before friends , before family and if you are married and seeing someone the man up and leave because you cannot give 100%. You as the Dominant cannot expect full time submission being a part time Dom it does not work and in the end you will lose.

We as humans tend to settle for less than what we really need , this is called pussylitice , your dick is your brain , depending on your Testosterone depends on how Dominant you are.

You can have the life you want but you are going to have to work for it.

 

 

 

 

When Does Abuse Cross The Line

The title does not even have to pertain to the lifestyle , you can be completely vanilla. Many times abuse , or the one being abused does not even recognize the signs even when it becomes physical. The mind fucking part of the abuse , the verbal abuse the controlling aspect of the relationship. Controlling the times you are out of the house be it doing errands or grocery shopping. Being slapped or knocked down because you were 3 minutes late getting home , being accused of fucking around , when in fact the abuser is the one fucking around.

Telling you that you never do anything right , never having anything good to say about you and if it does get physical and when he apologizes he expects you to lay on your back and spread your legs…  If a man fucks around on you once he will do it again , just like if a man ever hits you he will do it again and each time apologize and beg you to forgive. At that point and time he may be serious , or could be fucking with your head…

Demanding passwords to all of your accounts , checking and banking information. This is a very bad idea and no one has a reason to want such information. This all falls under insecurity , this falls under the controlling thing , it inflates his ego.

Demanding submission is a one way street , the abuser sees it as you submitting but you are really submitting out of fear. The fear of being scared but also the fear of being alone. The greatest human fear is the fear of loss.

Words have a far greater impact on the mind , works have a great impact on your self esteem.  Names like you stupid bitch , you dumb cunt the list goes on and on.

At the end of the day you are to lay on your back with legs spread and you are expected to take what is giving to you and you pretend you like it just to please..

The controlling insecure Dom lays all the blame on the submissive when the relationship crashes . She was not real or she was not submissive enough or she was not trainable. The truth is you got wise and saw the light , you realized you had to escape but it is to late many times the damage is already done. You now carry scares deep inside and will probably never trust again.

This type of relationship often takes place with those who are new to the lifestyle and have had no experience. These Dog prey on those who no absolutely nothing and you rely on the information giving to you is right. This is when the isolation takes place and cuts you off from the outside world. Cuts you off from family and friends because of his insecurities probably stemming from as far back as his childhood and upbringing.

Many times not all the time Alcohol plays a huge role in behavior , the more they drink the angrier they become , possibly a drug habit but you really dread it when a bottle is opened.

Forcing you to give all of your passwords to your email and social sites , even sometimes posting he is the one who monitors your page such as fetlife , again this comes from being insecure. Giving your banking information can at times run into big problems. I have seen a submissive wake to only find their bank account had been drained after a failed relationship.

Then mind is powerful it can work with us or in some cases work against us. Being forced to sleep with other , you agree because you just want to please. Being passed around like a piece of meat without a care. This comes from their ego , their insecurities , their need to show they are in charge. You could be one who enjoys such play and if it fits you have fun but for those who do not wish to take part could be very damaging.

At any giving time you have the right to say no , you have the right to just walk away. You have but only one life , what do you want to do with it?

 

Vile

 

Fifty Shades Darker

Most Doms or Masters have skills many skills , be it play , communication , staying consistent in training among other things but one very important skill is the skill to negotiate a relationship.

I was somewhat taken back by the first 50 shades so when 50 shades darker came out , I thought okay Mr Grey can redeem himself.. Well that did not happen , instead he lowered himself to almost animal waste.

I do give credit for the books and the movies though it brought millions into the lifestyle some serious and to some they found out it was just a fantasy.

It is not uncommon to renegotiate a contract be it written or verbal. We continue to grow on a daily basis and our needs change. A Dominant may see where some changes are needed and may just act or he may sit down and communicate his needs. The Submissive or Slaves needs may change and may want to sit down and request some changes. I myself do not make a decision right then I want to take some time to think about what was discussed.

To see Mr Grey kneel about beg was truly disappointing , although we as Masters should show the ability to be humble at times, what Mr Grey did was truly humiliating to see him beg. On his knees admitting he was not a Dominant but still wanting to renegotiate , renegotiate what?

Most women loved the sex scenes , some were pretty intense but to put those into our world of BDSM just gives a false look into the way we live.

Outside of the movie jumping into real life, suck my dick , you broke a rule you burnt my chicken now ive got to beat you , or you failed to send my pics while your at work. I want videos of you masturbating , I want your passwords , I want your banking info. This is no way the characteristics of a Dominant , this is pure ego , insecure , the need to abuse and think its alright because your in charge.

Our life is so deep very few understand even those like E.L. James who tried her best to let people take a peak into our life. If you do not live something you cannot write about it.  Our life has such a wide base many do not understand but are very intrigued. People trying to interpret our life would be like me trying to write a book on how a nuclear submarine , hows its built and keeps generating power.

I have changed over the years , I have been the abuser , I have been the user , I have made false promises , I have giving false hope. Many years I felt women were just a dumping station many had no faces. My only concern was how to use all three holes.

The art of manipulation and for some it never ends , its a game that is never won , because in the end you crawl into your bed alone. This goes for both male and female, one thing we all have to remember we are a commodity and the older we get the less our stock is worth. Manipulation is not hard but staying on that path with one does not last very long.

Any man can find someone to suck his cock , or take it up the ass but to be able to take control , and finding someone who will give up the amount of control you want is an art. It meaning days , weeks , months and in some cases years to find the one who fits your needs , Dominant or Submissive.  Hours of conversation , days, weeks , months getting to know each other.

The Dominant must be secure , the Dominant must know who and what he is, the Dominant must know how to be fair, true and loyal to his word. The Dominant must make it clear when it comes to his needs and wants.

When you meet a Dominant and you are explained his needs and wants , how he runs his house and what is expected , if you have any doubts or your not able to fulfill his needs then he is not the right Dominant for you. If he backs down on anything he has presented and gives in , there will come a time when the subject will come up at a later date. The same goes for the submissive if you lay out your needs and the Dominant disagrees then you need to move on. You may meet 25 , 30 , 40 or even 50 Dominants before you find the right fit. You know within the first couple of minutes if you are compatible and if your not why even continue?

More of the community today is about kink and only kink , but there are just as many submissives and slaves who are looking for so much more. Most who are submissive are looking for much more when it comes to a relationship , although kink will play a huge part there are many other factors. Many are looking for security , communication , wanting to turn over power to someone they can trust.  Guidance is huge , structure , and yes even discipline when a rule is broken, being held accountable , but many who claim to be a Dom , or Master turn their backs on the basic ideology of the lifestyle , trying to convince the submissive they know the way.

Making a movie that is realistic , instead of a kinky Billionaire begging some girl for pussy why not a average guy? If the dude had lived in a trailer and worked at McDonalds then he would of been a creep.

You know if you just want to fuck why not just ask instead of trying to run a game , if your married why not be upfront instead of hiding your marriage like some little bitch. Ive met married Doms who cheat and once they get home they turn into the bitch. If the dude cant run his own home , if the dude cant control his wife or his house , if the dudes wife wont submit , then how in the fuck can he truly control someone else? The dude is living a fantasy , the dude wants to find someone to do things his wife wont do. Dont get me wrong there are some who are ok with seeing a fake married Dom and if both are ok with the situation then do it, but if you are married and misleading someone your balls needs to be cut off because your a pussy.

I hoped before watching the first 50 shades that someone would step up and show a true side of the lifestyle but I learned in the first 30 minutes it had nothing to do with a real Dominant but a man with control issues who suffered from depression, a man who wanted to hurt someone just for the sake of hurting someone.  A quote, Why do you want to hurt me? For your pleasure , really? Yea he said that.

Many do not take into consideration of the damage you can do to someone male or female. Leading someone down a false path and once your caught they put the blame on them like its their fault.

Guys , Masters , Dominants if you are who you claim to be you can live the dream, if you walk the walk and talk the talk, hmmm I think that is right? Your life could grown into something you cant even imagine. There is so much more to the relationship , its not about just sucking cock , or fucking some chick up the ass, it take work but the end result would be incredible…

Vile

 

 

 

A Slave Needs Down Time

While at a munch 3 or 4 months ago there was a topic on relationships , the different types of Doms and submissive’s. Asking Arianna what type of Master I was she said I was like the Rock star , meaning the way I am treated.

Speaking with someone else the topic come up about men helping around the house and I said I do stuff. I was then asked what I did and my mind went blank.

Think Vile , my mind was going crazy and I came back I just do stuff ok drop it. Driving home with Arianna and Lynn , just out of the blue I said I do stuff ,Arianna replied yes you do Master.

On my days off I love cooking , when I cook it is something special , I generally spend the day preparing and cooking. So yes I do stuff leave me alone.

Then we turn the page and we look into our submissive’s life our slave , our property. If you the Dominant would just take a moment and sit down and reflect on just how much your submissive does and gives it might just give you a different perspective.

We want everything just right, we want everything in place, we want our glass full at all times. Then comes the kink , the bondage , fucking , getting head. We use when we want , how we want , where we want.  With me my sex life is like HBO on demand , I take when I want anyway I want, at anytime I want and any hole. We as Masters want to be able to snap our fingers and BOOM its done. We want rules followed , protocols , and we punish when something goes wrong.

Arianna and Lynn has a calendar and it is filled out daily I keep track of everything. There are also request days , usually a month out. These are days I give for both to be able to go out and let go , relax , clear their heads.

One of the most important is family , I am Master but family comes first no questions asked. Friends come into play everybody needs friends and our property deserves that time.

There is a breaking point , kinda like running a race horse till it drops, not giving it any down time , running it into the ground until it just drops. You stand above wondering what happened.

I need down time , I need to be able to clear my head , I need to relax , sit down and blog while jamming out to AC/DC Live at the river plate. Pouring myself a nice brandy firing up a good cigar on the back porch..

I am not meaning to get under anyone’s collar but to keep your property locked up 24/7 is not fair and if you do there will come a time when you wake up alone. It is not fair to keep your property from their family and friends.

There are only a few types of Dominants who would not allow downtime , free time, time to see family or friends. You are talking one day a month really and you are that concerned ?

The Master is insecure , the Master is controlling , the Master does not trust. The Master has a ego problem. I am going to guess it is the first being insecure.  Being insecure can cause a lot of problems down the road again your property is going to take only so much.

We want our dick sucked on demand , we tell to spread not ask , bend over I want the ass. We use different object , toys really anything we want. So why is it not fair to give that down time?

I control everything , hair color , hair length , nail polish , fuck even makeup. I control what both wear , I control shoes , everything is on my dime, everything is on Viles watch , Viles time.

I am secure , I trust , if I cant trust I don’t need you. If you fuck around you need to make sure he is the one you want because that is who you will be living with.

If you cannot trust why in the fuck would you of even entered a relationship? It makes no fucking sense to be spending so much time wondering who your property is fucking or blowing. If the cheat you know , you have to know if you know your slave .

If you are taking care of business you have no worries. If you are insecure , if you do not trust , if you keep locked up 24/7 then you have something to worry about. It is not a question of how or why it is a question of when. There will come a time when your slave says fuck this shit I am done.

You the Master wants 100% at all times no questions asked , the bad news is we as Masters have to give back 200%, yup we have to give back more than we take.

Keep pushing that button and one day the spring will break and you will have to replace it…  Keeping someone locked up 24/7 is abuse, you might as well beat their ass. If you are insecure works on your issues figure out what is wrong… Do not make your property suffer because you have short Cummings….

 

Submission , Codependency And Depression

I get it I really do , Ive been in the lifestyle for more than 25 years and still counting and still going strong. I have had my ups and I have had my downs , I have also made mistakes but I learned from my mistakes. Mistakes allows you to grow unless you continue to make the same mistakes.

I get and understand submission , I understand Codependency and to a point I understand depression .

I do not have a PHD but what I do have is life experience , I have had and continue to have a relationship where all three apply to this subject. Depression runs in the lifestyle this is a known fact. I did not say all so don’t be putting words in my mouth. Codependency is very common in the lifestyle.

The problem when seeing a professional you get 30 minutes to an hour , he or she pulls out a booklet and proceeds to write you a prescription. Ill see you in 30 days maybe 60 or even 90. The pills take the edge off but your still not on that high your looking for, not high as in a drug but the high on life, the happiness.

The problem is you are seeing someone who knows very little about you,and the truth is very few are completely honest. This comes from a lack of trust and the feeling of the awkwardness of telling a stranger your problems .

What causes depression ? I do not think anyone person has the answer maybe a chemical balance malfunction. Things happen you could lose someone very dear and close to you. A break down the brain becomes overwhelmed and can no longer function, or function correctly without some type of adjustment . Today the pill is the answer and you could spend years finding the right combination before you find yourself on a level playing field.

Codependency usually comes at a later time in life most of the time it becomes stronger once you are out on your own. You enter a relationship and the codependency grows stronger , the needy comes out of the closet and you just want to rely on your partner. You become stressed when away from your home , more stressed when away from your partner. Being codependent is not something you brought up at the beginning of your relationship and this is because you did not even know. Then comes the end of the relationship. Your partner wanted someone who is independent , someone who can take care of the bills , the shopping , cleaning and cooking , while he sits on the couch and watches sports.

Your doctor will guide you to a Life coach , it is explained the coach can guide you down the right path. Ladies and gentlemen , Doms and Subs , Masters and Slaves this is so far from the truth it is not funny. A Life coach is not going to understand you and why? Because you are not going to share your feelings with a stranger and if you do he or she has no clue. It is not only a waist of money but it is a waist of your time and if you are like me my time is very valuable.

One thing for sure depression is huge in the lifestyle , although many will not admit it, some may be ashamed to talk to a potential partner. Honesty is the best medicine.  If you are not truthful upfront it could be the end of your relationship when things start to emerge.

It will not matter how many relationships you enter if someone does not understand you or is not willing to try to understand you it will never work. You have to be upfront when you first meet as embarrassing as it may seem. Codependency and depression is not something you can hide in the closet. So your upfront and to the point and either they are willing to give it a shot or they are not.

There are not many who understand Submission as a matter of fact many see submission as a weakness , many see submission as a easy target , many see submission as a easy fuck , someone they can control for a short time until you have a breakdown or you become to needy. I am not speaking of a full mental breakdown just kinda like the feeling of being confused.

Submission can start in one or two phases , one being from a younger age but you do not know the word or anything about it , or two it hits you at a later time in life. In most cases not all but most something dramatic in life happened , the loss of someone very close, or the worst being abused by a family member or even raped at a young age. Something triggers your feeling but you are not sure , you just know you are.

While there may not be a fix all cure , while you just may be on a level playing field, not happy but not sad I can tell you the environment you spend your time in can help you maintain what you do have.

If you suffer from depression , your taking medication, seeing your doctor on schedule but your home life is a total wreck you are fighting a losing battle. If you spend your days fighting and arguing the medication you are taking is doing nothing.

You need someplace you feel safe, you need someplace peaceful, you need someplace you can truly call home. You need to be stress free , drama free, but more important you need someone who supports you , someone who understand you. Someone who cares enough to find out what is going on and what they can do to help your healing process. This not only applies to BDSM but those who are vanilla.

Being honest about your depression , codependency does cut your odds in half in finding the right Dominant but if you stand your ground your odds are better in finding the right one.

Arianna sees a doctor , at times I go at times I do not, when I notice things are slipping I go this is so I can give my side of the story. Her doctor has requested I come to each visit. I feel taking part is very important.. You should want the same..

You Want My Dominance

This is just in general but I have posted in the past about a Dominant having to earn Submission, having to earn trust. Those are huge task and task that really takes dedication.

When we turn the page there is a very different view , a view into a whole different world. I myself work on a earn system , you want my Dominance you earn it. You learn to communicate… You learn to express your feelings , your needs.

Someone can only make a Decision based on the information giving.  We as Dominants are not mind readers , and I know myself I am not willing to put that much effort if the other party is not willing to do the above.

BDSM is not just about sex although many think along those lines. There are those who are that simple minded, or those who have no set goals in life or those who do not wish to better themselves.

We are only giving one life , one thing that is for sure we do not know when the end is coming.

You as a submissive or slave expects the Dominant to give 110% , why would you think a Dominant would expect any less?

The kink is good , the bondage , the cock sucking , spanking , humiliation, but all of this comes with requirements from both.

There are just as many women who abuse men as there are men who abuse. In my day I have met some gold digging bitches. I have met those who lied and knew they were lying and just looking into their eyes and agreeing. I was thinking how stupid they would feel if they knew they were lying to me.

I was not born yesterday my degree comes from the street. At a younger age I learned early on to watch , listen and observe. I knew how I wanted to turn out and how I did not want to.

You wake one morning and hit a website on submission and all of a sudden you are on a mission from hell. You join dating sites even like Match hoping to find a Dom , you join kinky sites in hopes of finding the right one. The thing is nothing is going to fall from the sky and in comes a knight in shinning armor. If you are not willing to put a little effort in looking you are going to end up with the wannabes , the abusers. You wont listen to anyone even when asking for advice then you find yourself in a car sucking cock and pushed out the door when he blows his load in your mouth.

If you want something you have to work for it, if something is just giving there is no appreciation , there is no value, there is no need.

You spend hours sitting on the couch with your cell in hand waiting on that text , that email and in the end it never comes.

Getting your ass beat does not equal submission , sucking cock or taking it up the ass does not equal submission… That may be your way of submitting and if it is you are very sad.

You can be submissive but giving up that control is a different subject. You have to be able to share your thoughts and needs. Putting on a collar means absolutely  nothing if it was not earned.

You want a relationship that has meaning , you want a relationship that has substance. You want to be able to reach out and touch.

No one is going to rescue you , if a Dom is willing to tackle such a relationship it is to feed his own ego. All decisions come with choices and consequences. Rescuing you will fix nothing and entering a relationship when your life is just fucked up is not fair. I will not fix you , I can give advice , I can give you my opinion it is up to you to decide what is right and what is wrong.

There are those who have known nothing but being miserable , depressed , drama infected, Problematic you create your own poison then you want someone to clean up your mess.

You have to be willing to give all , while I do not fully understand those who live as a part time submissive I do respect that if it is you. If you are a bedroom submissive be up front and truthful.

It is easy to fake it till you make it but that will only last so long. You may have good intentions but no idea what path you are wanting to take or no idea who you are.

You have to need rules , you have to need structure , you have to need protocols , you have to be willing to work and build a relationship. You have to have the need to be trained.

There are those who have been used as a object your entire life and know no better, you are not able to see the mistakes but still wonder what is wrong.

There are those who move from one abusive relationship to another not knowing any better or how to fix it. Maybe it just seems like to much work or will take to much effort. Your drawn to the same type of men expecting things to turn out different.

I use to think that if a M’s or D’s relationship ended it was the Doms fault but it can fall on the submissive.

Dominance is a gift just as Submission it has to work the same on both sides of the fence.

In my home it is my way and my way only , if I need advice or maybe looking for another idea then I ask, but in the end I make the final decision.

In the end just be you.

Pussy To Man is Like The Apple To Adam

Most men will crawl naked through broken glass if they think they are going to get laid.

To some pussy is an addiction, an uncontrollable addiction, and at times it interferes with their daily life.

This is where the games come into play. Telling you what you want to hear just to get you on you’re back.

Now your feelings do not come into play nor do you’re emotions.

There is however an easier way but it does take a little work.

To get into ones mind is an incredible feat. To figure out how someone thinks is an incredible feat. Once in the mind you own it. There are no limits to the growth, there are no limits at all.

A submissive or slave are only looking for a few things in life.

Security , Trust, knowing they are cared for , someone to take responsibility for their actions.

Most men are the worst communicators in the world , I suppose some are scared , but my guess is many just do not care.

If it turns out a man is Dominant but his wife is not submissive he then feels bad about approaching her with the idea of D’s or bringing up the kink. He may feel like it is abuse. The problem is by not communicating he then turns to cheating , finding someone he has no emotional feelings for, someone he can use and go home with no connection. This is his way of justifying his actions. Once he is caught he will turn the tables around and make it her fault for not fulfilling his needs.

I have a friend well not really a friend we talk from time to time, but he spends all of his spare time on Match and Plenty of fish. He spends hours hunting and once someone bites he insist they come to his place. Once he has the pussy he is done, he then finds a reason why he should not enter a relationship with them. They lie , they are needy , they cant be with him 24/7 but he does not want them to move in.  It is never his fault , by placing the blame it makes him feel better.  Use and out the door , no feelings or emotions…

Some 10 years ago I use to drive a cab part time , believe it or not those dudes make a decent living. I picked up a family of 4 husband and wife , 2 kids and she was smoking hot, I mean blood rushed down to my dick so fast I got dizzy  she was that hot.

Once we reached the Hilton the guy handed me a hundred on a 35,00 dollar fair. He tapped me on the shoulder and asked me to wait for him while he took everything to his room. Once back down he entered the front seat and wanted to know where the hookers were?

Okay there are some respectable workers today who work and make a lot of money , a lot of money , but what he was looking for was a 20.00 dollar hooker a crack head. I reached in my pocket and handed him 65.00 dollars and told him I had a call .

This guy was willing to put his wife and family in jeopardy , he was willing to take the risk of catching something and passing it to his wife, is this true love ?

When dating someone new this is the time to be honest , by the second or third date both should begin to open up. If you the man likes getting your cock sucked and the new girl friend does not like sucking cock guess what ? It is not going to work. She may like anal sex but you the male thinks its disgusting for what ever reason , guess what ? It is not going to work. If you like bondage and spanking but she does not guess what ? It is not going to work.

Honesty is everything , being truthful about you’re needs, if down the road the kink side comes up sit you’re partner down and talk , talk a lot about the feelings you are having , why the feelings came up. There is a great chance he or she may come around , if not guess what ? You gotta suck it up because you knew before you entered the relationship , and if it comes up later and you talk and the answer if no you should suck it up if you really love and respect.

The lifestyle relationships be it a D’s or M’s or what ever category you put yourself in. Being new is a mother fucker because you are going to be used and dumped a half dozen times before you get it right. Men who do not take the lifestyle serious and are out just for the pussy and nothing more. He sees submission as a weakness , he knows he can use you and use you for a long time , leading you down a road of broken promises and promising things will get better.

The breakup you think it is your fault and of course he will put the blame on you, this will make him feel better, while you sit and feel sorry for yourself. The problem is you knew all along something was wrong.

It took me years to realize it was harder playing the game that it was to be truthful . I stepped over so many hurdles just to get a little head or some pussy by the time it was over I felt like I had wasted so much time and got nothing. It also took me years to realize the damage I had done to others , emotionally , mentally and physically. The truth is I did not care I was getting my nut.

If you want the pussy be up front you might be surprised how many are looking for a no strings relationship , eat date and fuck then you go home. That would make things simple.

You the male Dominant can have anything you want , sure it takes work , sure it takes devotion , sure it takes caring , sure it takes being honest , but the rewards out weigh the bad if you are looking for bad. We can all find something bad if that is what you are looking for. I myself concentrate on the good, and if you continue to look for good there will be no bad.

I made it a point once I figured out who and what I was, what I needed and wanted out of a relationship. I was determined to find the right one, the one who could fulfill my needs and wants, but in return I had to give. In return I had to give back more than I was taking.

A man never wants something until you tell him he cannot have it. It may not of been important at the time but now that he cannot have it , it now becomes a need.

You the female yes you , if in a committed relationship should do what ever you can to make you’re man happy within reason of course. You should care enough about his needs.Okay so you don’t like anal sex , you are talking 5 minutes of your life. You don’t like sucking cock or swallowing again 5 minutes. You keep your man happy he will not stray, but and yes but you do have those idiots.

I will never cheat again please just one more chance I am begging. Yea you can believe this just like I am so sorry I will never hit you again. Once a cheater always a cheater, the same with being Hit out of anger he will hit you again and again.

Pussy To Man is Like The Apple To Adam