I have had a few Dominants approach me , telling me that they let their feelings get in the way. When it comes to control , punishing or even giving out task , the biggest is when it comes to enforcing rules. The feeling of guilt like you are abusing someone , mistreating , being unfair , being to strict. Well! You did not have these feelings before you entered the relationship ,or when you both agreed to enter the relationship , you had everything planned out right ? You told the Submissive you were a dominant , you told her you wanted to take control , you gave out rules right?
Many over time begin to get this deep sense of guilt , like everything is abuse , maybe mistreating their partner but remember these are thing that were agreed on before you entered the relationship , so was it just Dom frenzy or maybe just a deep fantasy and instead.
When you both sit down and start talking about each others needs and most important what they Dominant lays out about how he envisions how the house will be ran. It is okay as a slave or submissive to express your feelings but to be outright argumentative is nothing more than disrespect and should not be tolerated. When should you question your Master ? When you see a bad decision is going to affect you and your house , put you in danger or possibly homeless. This should include while out in public , if you have something to say it should be in private , calling your Master out in public is nothing more than being disrespectful. If there are no consequences to ones actions then the Master is no longer in control.
Neither Master or slave should be afraid to speak up , if you do not communicate the slave in a respectful manner the Master has no way of knowing what you are thinking or what problems you may have until you the slave blows up.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master/slave_(BDSM)
In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.[1] The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term “slave” because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave’s body, as property or chattel. While male “masters” will usually be referred to as “Master”, whether or not female Masters are referred to as “Master” or “Mistress” may depend upon whether they identify as following the “Leather” or BDSM path.[1]:27-30
The Master/slave (or owner/property) relationship is entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, that is forbidden by the laws of most countries.
Keeping that head space , one the collar if you the slave should ever have a doubt about your position in the home then reach up and grab your collar , if your Master requires you to wear one. It seems today very few Master require a collar for what ever reason , maybe he does not want to spend the money on one or he simply does not care. Putting rituals and protocols in place. Putting things in place even slave positions keeps the head space and is a reminder. Everything put in place has to be consistent or they will not work.
http://www.bdsmwiki.info/Protocol
A protocol is any defined, enforced code of behavior, and or rituals whether it be within the confines of a particular group, community, or other interpersonal dynamic (such as a power exchange relationship).
Protocols are a set of governing rules that dictate the body, behavior and attitudes through an enforced code of behavior and/or rituals whether it be within the confines of a particular group, community, or interpersonal dynamic.
Protocols are often referred to those found within a power exchange relationship. The reason there is no set rules about universal protocols is because every power exchange relationship is different, not just based on relationship style, but more specifically on the individuals involved in the relationship and their needs and wants.
Best Practices indicate that it is unreasonable to expect that others should or must respect your particular set of protocols if you have not negotiated for such things with them.
Why would a Master argue with a slave ? What sense does it make for either to even argue with each other? If a Master will argue with his slave then he becomes the bitch.
The Master
Values , and this is interesting….
Some commonly emphasized values consistent with best practices concerning a Master may include but are not limited to: (in no particular order)
- Honorable behavior in word and deed.
- Is in touch with their wants and needs; gives clearly stated expectations, orders and instructions.
- A clear understanding of their own personal limitations and failings while consistently seeking to learn more and better themselves.
- The ability to respect and forgive the personal limitations and failings of those that serve them while still helping them push towards and achieve self betterment.
- Possession of sound judgement, logic, reliability and the ability to keep their personal affairs in reasonable order.
- An amazing degree of control of temper and impulse.
- Recognizes both service and Mastery as callings worthy of respect.
You set the rules , you sit the rules and protocols and you enforce consistently , Your house you the Master sets up how things will be ran. Many at sometime will begin to feel guilty about enforcing rules or afraid of rejection , or maybe even your slave will leave you. It is the slave who has to adapt to your way of living.
You cannot change up the rules after you have put them in place , rules can be amended but there are some who will change just so they can punish.
Keeping that head space , protocols and rituals along with a few slave positions , all of these not only induce good behavior but they are a training tool. Having to ask permission to do anything and everything even when it comes to scheduling a free day with family or friends.
Use your property and use on a regular basis , the slave is there for your use , your enjoyment and it is up to you if you let your slave get off. Play and do not share what you plan on doing but it is good to give warnings throughout the week. Take what you want when you want and how you want , this will also keep your slave in that head space.
A good Master shows control , not only at home but while out it is the Master who sets the example. The way your slave acts in public is a direct reflection of your training.
Do not make demands that are not reasonable , do not make demands that will set the slave up for failure. Do not make demands that would cause the slave harm or get into trouble.
Positive reinforcement goes along way , several times a week I tell my girls how much I appreciate them and the things they do. Reward when the slave does something good. The system put in place should be everything is earned nothing is giving. All of the privileges are just that privileges and anything can be taken back.
Restrict the space with in the home the slave is allowed to sit and the way the slave sits. While out my girls sit with hands in lap and are prohibited from crossing their legs. While standing the hands are clasped in front. All of these are reminders of the slaves position within the home.
The Master needs down time a time to relax clear your head , time alone , this is just as important as the slave having down time..
You can change plans when they are not working but never change goals.