Let Me Tell You Ladies Something

Warning Signs Of A Fake Dominant.

I am not or was not just speaking out of my ass, I have been there. I am not saying I was a fake, but I learned at a very young age how to manipulate the system, meaning how to get into a submissive’s head. That is what it is all about to begin with the Dominant being able to get into ones head. If he cannot do that he cannot control. It is you the submissive who allows this.

Yes I am guilty of a lot of messed up things. The hunt was exciting, the kill was a total rush. I was not looking for love I had one thing on my mind and that was getting my cock sucked and pussy nothing more. As I grew older it was not until my early 30’s I realized I wanted more. I had to find the one. It was then I found out the hunt was not as easy because this time I had a goal. I needed more so I had to be more selective in my search. I had three long term relationships all three were slaves. One after almost seven years her mother grew ill and she moved back to Korea. the second was my fault because I lost control, because I let my feelings get in the way. Now the love of my life Arianna

Everything I am going to tell you is the truth I have nothing to gain from misleading you

I am speaking as a man from past experience’s . So now what I am trying to do is make things right, give good valuable advice, if you listen you listen if you don’t well I tried.

Beware of the closet Dom, he is ego driven, nothing more. He will lead you down a path of total destruction and never look back, and when he is done he will wash his hands and move on.

BDSM is not about SEX. BDSM is not about SUCKING COCK or Laying on your back. BDSM is a relationship where the two form a bond that cannot be broken, BDSM is about communication and open communication. You as a submissive should be able to express your feelings with out being judged or talked down to.

So when first meeting you only give out information you think you need to, nothing to private, no problems, if you suffer from depression or anything else that should not be brought up, for sometime. This is ammunition that can and will be used against you. This is how a closet Dom gets in your head he preys on your problems. He will tell you trust me I will make everything alright. I can and want to help you. I am here for you.  Listen because if you think this has happened to you before.

What makes one a Dominant ? What makes one a Master ? these are questions you should ask. If you think of a question then ask, do not be afraid to ask in fear of ruining a date, because if you do not ask he will not volunteer any information.

You need to have a plan put in place a list of questions, and make sure all questions are answered. If he seems like he is getting a little agitated then something is wrong. You the submissive is conducting the interview.

If you did not fuck on your first date, why would you think you would on the first meeting with a potential Dom. To prove your submissive ? Fucking or sucking cock on the first date does not prove anything . At this point he is already halfway through the hunt.

A huge red flag if the Dominant talks about a collar on the first meeting. In my eyes it really takes about six to eight months before someone should ever consider offering a collar. A collar is earned , a collar is just not giving out. Would you marry a man on your first date? I would not think so. If not why would you just be willing to hand over complete control of your life ?

Passwords is another huge flag. Although I do have access to Arianna’s phone I to this day have none of her passwords. Why is this, for one I am not ego driven, and two I trust her. It is not to say that one day I may have her log into her email , because I have that right and she knows it. Your passwords are just that yours. Even in a D’s or M’s relationship we still need some privacy. If he gets angry because you do not wish to share, then just walk away.

You have to be best friends, you have to enjoy being around each other. Going out and doing things together, laughing and joking. You cannot be Master and Slave 24/7 it just does not happen that way, although you are always in that frame of mind.

If you find out your spending more time on your knees and in the sitting position then guess what ? You have been had, you are just another victim another notch in his belt.

We all want the same thing out of life. A partner we can depend on, someone we can let all of out inhibitions flow away. We want to be able to share everything,but more so we want to know we are loved.

You do not have to spread your legs to prove your submission, you do not have to suck cock to prove your submission. You do not have to clean his house to prove your submission. You prove your submission by being who you are.

To allow someone to take you to a motel on the first meeting, that is just insane. We are human not cats we only have one life and to give that life up to try and prove your submissive is just plain crazy.

If you get with a Dom who is not experienced and he is into impact play you can really get fucked up. Even rope bondage you can get hurt if your not tied correctly. You can hurt muscles and damage tendons that is a fact. Impact play if you can lose a kidney if you are hit to high. Your tail bone can be broken. You can get hurt, and your not going to tell anyone how it happen due to the humiliation.

I said this yesterday once you are tied down spread eagle, blindfolded and gagged you are fair game. He can do anything to you he wants, and you will get hurt, or worse. Do not play with your life, you have nothing to prove.

Vile

You as a submissive or slave has rights, you not only have to agree to a Doms terms but he has to agree to yours as well. You do not have to submit until the Dom has agreed to your terms and your rules.

Number one, you should know where he works. You should have his phone number and have the abilty to call when ever you have the need . You should have the ability to text when you have the need and expect a reply in a timely manner. A timely manner is not the next day. You should have his address to where he lives and the ability to see him when you have the need. He should be willing to introduce you to his friends and co-workers. That is just the tip of the iceberg.

Do not ever let a Dom tell you what you are going to wear on the first meeting. Most women would not feel comfortable wearing a short skirt with no panties meeting a total stranger

Being A Slave Is Hard Or Is It ?

Those who wake with an unknown feeling, a feeling of not being complete, they are not sure where these feelings arrived from or where their thoughts came from. They begin to do a lot of research in hopes of finding answers. Then they stumble across a BDSM site or erotic stories, and things become more clearer.

Then the search Dominant after Dominant until they find the right fit , the right connection, or after being played a couple of times.

I would imagine that giving up 100% of freedom could be a scary thought. Being told what to do, how to act, how to dress, how to speak, what to eat or cook, when to bath, when to go to bed, and then being punished for breaking a rule.

To go from your boyfriend begging for sex or begging to get his dick sucked, to someone just telling you to spread, or get on your knees. Maybe anal sex was off limits now there is no choice, you do it because your now owned.

These are big changes, these are huge changes.  These are changes you never would of even thought off until a year ago, or maybe they have been thoughts for a long time but you had no idea on how to put things into place.

It is not that the changes are difficult, scary yes difficult no. It is how you are brought through these changes, what actions are taking to get you to the point of where you need to be. I can tell you it is probably harder if not almost impossible if you know you are not truly cared for. Eh it works for a short period of time, but when reality hits you and you discover this dude is a piece of shit, you pack up move on and begin your search again, and maybe again, and again until you get it right.

Two key words come to mind, resistance and consistency. Almost every Slave will put some or a lot of resistance when it comes to submitting. It is not that they do not want to, they are scared and they have every right to be.

Consistency or being consistent this is where most Dominants fail. Why is this ? Because once in a relationship be it a D’s or M’s WOW this is fucking work, I actually have to put forth an effort if this is going to work. Keeping your cool staying calm, keeping your word, showing that you care, you listen, and most of all you communicate. If you as a Dominant miss any of these steps you will fail, and it is no ones fault except yours.

I have seen this time and time again, when it happens it is always the Bitches fault, yea she was a bad submissive, or a bad slave she would not listen or follow rules. Just listen to that last statement. Who’s fault is that now? The blame always goes on the Bitch. No it could never be me I am the almighty Master. It was not long ago I told a Dom he was a piece of shit and he should rethink his place within the lifestyle. We had a couple over for dinner not long ago when they left I told Arianna what the out come of their relationship would be, sure enough they are no longer together.

Be it a Submissive or Slave, we have to be able to get into their heads, we have to know what makes them think, their thought process, and I can tell you if your not true or you do not care it will not happen. Just look at the time you have wasted just because you wanted some pussy.

Resistance equals consistent one giving equals one caring, you cannot just take or demand. You as the Dominant has to earn every step you take. Respect you have to earn it is not something we can demand.

Most who are submissive or a slave are on some type of medication, why is this? I do not have a fucking clue, most who are a Submissive or Slave suffers some type of depression maybe Bi-Polar? Why is this again I do not have a fucking clue.  So we as Dominants cannot just step in balls to the wall, we have to put a plan together because we do not want to bring any harm to ours. Yea okay I look over some things nothing major but I do not just sit around hoping Arianna will break a rule, as a matter of fact she will do everything in her power not to break a rule. I set that Ass on fire one time and that is all it took.

We can never figure out why someone is depressed if you try your just wasting time. So instead we work with them, we try to somewhat understand but we will never fully. Go to doctors appointments with them study their medication. Most of all we do not want to push them over the cliff. I had a counselor tell me not long ago that she agreed with our lifestyle, and the way our home was ran was beneficial  to Arianna, and almost a year it has worked well, we have had a few ups and downs but more ups I can assure you.

Starting a new relationship the Submissive / Slave has a wall in place. What we have to do is take it down one brick at a time, while this is on going we are still hitting this resistance button , the reason that button is still there is the lack of trust. While most would like trust is not built over night. So again the same words, Consistency or being consistent this is where most Dominants fail. Why is this ? Because once in a relationship be it a D’s or M’s WOW this is fucking work, I actually have to put forth an effort if this is going to work. Keeping your cool staying calm, keeping your word, showing that you care, you listen, and most of all you communicate. If you as a Dominant miss any of these steps you will fail, and it is no ones fault except yours.

If you cannot control your Submissive or Slave Don’t put the blame on them, it was not them who failed it was us who failed them. We gave them false statements, we led them to believe something that was not true.

If you fail at communication, it is pretty much over. Most of the time a Slave will not volunteer and information, so we have to be willing to spend the time to communicate, if you really care this comes natural. Set aside 15 minutes a day so you can just sit and talk. Hold conversation over dinner, while driving. Communication is the main key, if your going to wait for them to spill their guts guess what? It will never happen.

There has to be an astronomical amount of fear when a Slave enters a relationship, they have no idea what to expect, more so if it is their first relationship. That is why you need a plan , and you need a back up plan, and another back up plan.

I was lucky when I met Arianna the resistance level was almost zero, even so I knew I had to stay consistent. The first ninety days is the tell , tell of everything. It will tell the slave if they are truly a slave and it will tell the slave if the Dominant is real.

Asking to sit at the Dinner table, not taking a bite of food before I do. Kneeling at the door when I return from work. anticipating my needs, kneeling in the bathroom while I shower, it goes on and on, but again the key word is consistency.

Rules some just fucking kill me, Rule one you must worship my cock. Rule 2 you must masturbate every night before bed while we are talking on the phone. Rule 3 you must send me nude pics everyday. Rule 4 you will never wear panties in my presence. You have seen and heard these rules. Rules are meant to be beneficial to a slave. We take old habits and make new positive ones. Yea some do call it training I have before, I like the word molding. We are molding someone to fit our needs, or training. We are taking someones life and turning it inside out. We are taking someone who once had a resistance factor and taking the word NO or i cant out of their vocabulary. Again this all comes with being consistent and in control.

The bottom line is, if we remain who we say we are, if we prove who we say we are, if we put ours first no matter what, if we take care of ours, if we do not abuse with a bunch of worthless rules, if we remain true and yes consistent then there is only resistance for a short time.

The Slave already knows who and what they are, they already know who they want to be, we just have to take one brick down at a time, brush our hands off and take their hand and walk with them.

We as a Master are expected to live by certain standards we have a creed we must follow, we must always be truthful when speaking. We must earn what we get.

The rewards for both are just amazing, it can be the most loving relationship you have ever known. The Master will want for nothing at all. The out come is what you make of it.

Vile

Aftercare And Being Proactive

Aftercare BDSM

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This article is about the sexual practice. For other uses, see Aftercare (disambiguation).

This article needs additional citations for verification. Please help improve this article by adding citations to reliable sources. Unsourced material may be challenged and removed. (July 2007)

In the context of the sexual practice of BDSM, aftercare is the process of attending to one another after intense feelings of a physical or psychological nature relating to BDSM activities.

BDSM experiences can be exhausting; and drain the participants of mental, emotional or physical energy. As a result, one or all participants may require emotional support, comfort, reassurance, and/or physical tenderness. Along with this, he or she may experience everything from an exhilaration to traumatization. Aftercare also may include a review or “debriefing” of the activities from experiences of both the dominant and the submissive.

Some participants may wish to be left alone or have other means of processing the experience. While the desire to be left alone could stem from just needing rest, it could also result from no longer feeling safe in the current environment or situation.

Common aftercare practices may include hugging, kissing, hair-stroking, cuddling, words of praise or gratitude, or general affirmation of an emotional bond between partners. Occasionally, more “vanilla” sexual activities such as intercourse or oral sex following an intense scene may also be considered as part of aftercare.

It is often thought in a submission/dominant relationship, only the submissive requires aftercare following BDSM activities. However, a dominant may require less, just as much, or more aftercare depending on the scene, person, experience level, and other factors. The role of submissive or dominant is unrelated to the amount of aftercare someone needs and should not be thought of as a metric in this regard.

In long distance relationships, a potentially useful practice when engaged in remote BDSM activities is to facilitate aftercare by the exchange of emotionally significant items which can be clung to for reassurance, though success of this depends on both parties’ level of emotional investment in the relationship.

If you sat down and wrote a list about your needs while in a M’s or D’s relationship Aftercare should be the first at number one, not two or three or five or six, number one. Here in a few I will explain my proactive aftercare.

You start playing or maybe you call it a session, maybe your submissive or slave is into hard impact play. Maybe you the Dom enjoys getting rough, but the submissive is really not into the rough play but goes along with to please. If your anything like me my play time can last for an hour or more.

During this time the sub is giving all they have, physically , and mentally, as well as emotionally. We take what is giving and then more. We want satisfaction out of our play time. Sometimes we go as far as pushing limits, just to see how far we can take our property. If we have pushed or maxed a limit we the Dominant gains a high, a rush, the adrenaline starts to flow. I have gotten so excited I have had to take a break so I could gather my thoughts, catch my breath, and the submissive is just laying there waiting not knowing what is on the Dominants mind, or how much longer the session is going to go on for.

After play this is when the first of aftercare kicks in, communication should be the first, asking and digging for questions. We want to know where they are at right now, what their thoughts are, how they are feeling. Talk about any limits that were pushed.  This is very important, we need to know if we pushed to far, what if the submissive did not like something it should be talked about, maybe there is another avenue we can take to make that part of the session different.  Many will play and give even if they are getting nothing out of it, this is done just to please.

Now on the other side at times we ignore aftercare, let me explain. I have met those who are submissive and Slaves who wanted to be broken. I have been asked a couple of times, but I have declined both times. First of all I did not want that type of responsibility. I did not want to be responsible for bring them down and then bringing back up. I am not sure why someone would need such a thing, but we all have our needs, Breaking someone is just not my thing. Breaking a Slave takes time, I have seen it done and it is not pretty, nor did I take part. To each their own we all have different needs within the lifestyle, so I do not judge anyone for their actions. The breaking of a Slave should only be considered if the two are entering a long term relationship, and the Slave must be sure of this. If it is just short term the after effects could be devastating.

We should hold while in the aftercare mode, we should praise, speak very highly of. We should cover every part of the scene, being sure to not miss anything. Okay I am guilty of not going into the full aftercare mode at times, but when it does come to aftercare I am proactive.

Constant praise on a daily basis. Many spend way to much time waiting on theirs to break a rule, or make a mistake, so they can correct or punish. Many Doms get off on just punishing. Degrading, humiliation. More so the new ones who have entered the lifestyle. Reading books, or looking at pictures, many for what ever reason cannot get past the pictures.

After a session or play we need to ask questions, we want to know where there thoughts are. What did they like? What did they not like? Do they want to try something different? We should hold and caress, make the two feel as one.

Proactive aftercare constant praising , when something is done comment about it.  The idea is to build up, make one feel confident. We want to build up their self esteem if needed and in most cases it is needed. This is what I mean by being proactive.

If aftercare is not performed sub drop occurs and despite what most think I do believe sub drop can be prevented with the practice of aftercare. Sub drop occurs mostly when the two do not live together, and the submissive is left alone. Getting together while in a long distance relationship every now and then, sub drop will happen.

The proper aftercare is very important we being different aftercare will vary from submissive to submissive. Some after play want to be left alone for a period of time, giving them time to gather their thoughts and feelings, while some do not want any aftercare at all. I do believe sub drop can be prevented despite what others think.

You the submissive if you feel this area is being neglected speak up, you have this right to insure you are being taking care of, you have the right to express your needs.

I am telling you from experience, if aftercare is giving and the proper amount, what use to be limits will soon start to fade away, what use to be inhibitions will soon begin to fade away. The more we as Dominants care and we show we care the more the submissive will want to give.

Aftercare is a must.

Vile

Total Slavery 101

A Slave is not dumb, a Slave is not weak, a Slave is just like any other with different needs and desires.

Looking back I am not as strict as I once was. I am not as harsh, nor am I any longer into the pain.

Before I met Arianna I had been asked several times to play by different Masochist, and I did give it some great thought but I had to pass. It was just not me any longer, I no longer had to desire or the need to inflict pain. There are times when my mind wonders  about the relationship I had with Sherri, and I think man what the fuck were you thinking. How could you of done some of the things you did? At that point in my life what made me tick?

The willingness to give, maybe the pain in her eyes, and she never showed one tear. With the cracking of the single tail whip, the twelve pound flogger with BB’S on the end. Speculum’s in both holes at the same time, double fisting, forcing her to eat pussy, or blow some stranger, and things I do not wish to share at this time.

She was my first real slave my first and only true masochist, I gained great knowledge from her, but it was a relationship I knew would not last. Almost seven years and I never once fucked her, not sure why there was just something about her, I was not attracted to her in that way. She did suck a lot of cock though daily.

It took me a long time to realize that not every slave or submissive was a masochist, many thought I was abusive, which is far from the truth. Then I began meeting other Doms, and finely an awesome mentor. Then and only then did I learn the difference. The caring part I had to learn on my own.

As we grow older we have the need for more, we need something deeper, and real. The control is the main factor. I am not sure what makes me tick, but I spent way to much time trying to figure it out. I am me and I will never change.

Today while I am strict, I am also fair. I do not change rules to fit my needs. I try to talk through mistakes, because beating is not always the answer. Many are to quick about grabbing a belt or a whip, as a way to correct. Many times a good verbal scolding works much better

BDSM has many different levels that is why it is so easy to find the place we belong, any kink you can think of is out there, and chances are someone shares that same kink with you, but as in any relationship it has to be a give and take.

A slave has no rights, none. A slave gives everything in hopes they will not be abused or misguided. There is no second guessing, even if the owner is wrong. If we as Dominants make a mistake we have to fix it. I myself fix problems before they become problems. We Arianna and I have zero stress in our life. There is no drama between my ex-wife and I none. We even had her over for dinner last week.

You enter a relationship as Master and Slave. I will state I made no demands on what Arianna would call me. She asked if she could call me Master, at times she calls me her Owner

Over a period of a month maybe a little longer, I controlled every movement Arianna made. Bathroom, eating and what to eat, how to dress, walk, talk, what time to go to bed, what time to get up, and yes I controlled her money. I will say this, Arianna does contribute to the house, but I do not take her hard earned money, I stated that I controlled what she spent.

The training was not purely sexual, most of the training consisted of conversation, communication. Teaching her my way, my rules and yes my protocols.

It was exactly two months into our relationship, I invited a M’s couple out to dinner. This was Arianna’s first test, on protocol and etiquette. She passed with flying colors. My friends loved her. Shortly after that I invited an M’s couple over to the house and Arianna would be the host for the evening, again she passed, and the couple loved her, the slave really really loved her. Four months into our relationship we met a Domme for dinner it was her Birthday, again the Domme was very impressed with how Arianna carried herself. at that time we began to attend local events, munchs and MAST meetings. MAST Masters and Slaves Together, a great bunch of people, again Arianna was awesome, when someone did not understand what I was saying I allowed her to step in.

To fully control someone is a huge huge task, a task not many understand or wish to understand, nor is it a task that many want. With me it is a need, a deep craving. I do not even think of my wants, because all of my needs are met.

A short time ago I shared Ariannas rules with a few subs who followed me, the rules were not sexually based. Rules are meant to help. We as Dominants take ones bad habits and replace with good ones.

So think about this Arianna has no rights, no say, nor does she want. That is the key, she does not want, she is giving and she has the trust that I will not mislead or abuse the situation.  If a problem arises and when I take care of it 95% of the time Arianna does not even have a clue. Everything is on a need to know basis. Now if I ran across something I needed advice about, she would be the first and only one I would turn to, but so far that has not happened.

Every day when I arrive home, I walk through the door, Arianna is nude and kneeling. I did not ask for this nor did I require. She does it because she has the need. I walk into the kitchen to sit, my cold drink is in place waiting, she takes off my hat, pen, name tag, then shoes. Dinner is promptly put on the table. Arianna does not begin to eat until I have taking the first bite. Once finished with dinner, shower time. When I finish Arianna drys me off, my night clothes are laid out on the bed. Time to relax. Before bed a huge glass of ice water is placed on the table beside me. Once in bed we talk more about our day, I want to know whats on her mind, this is her time to talk about anything and everything that’s on her mind, her free time to express herself.

Okay I get anything I want without question, be it in everyday life, sexual, play time. When it comes to sex there are no limits, I just do not push her farther than she can go. There is no arguing, of any kind, although I do know at times I do get on her nerves, I just get the eye role she does not think I see.

There are really very few true submissives or slaves, and fewer real dominants. Once into a relationship most find it is not their cup of tea.

There are those who are quick to judge, because they either do not understand, or they believe the slave is weak, which is far from the truth. We judge what we do not understand. You would not want anyone to judge you would you?

Most other relationships I do not understand more so when it comes to a D’s type of relationship, but I do not judge, if it works for you then so be it. While I do find Pony Play interesting, I do not understand the concept, or what someone would get out of such a lifestyle, but it works for them, I am still not going to judge unless your pony takes a huge dump in my living room floor.

I keep an open mind when it comes to others, our kinks are all different, our needs, it would be much better if we could just all get long.

 

Vile

You Can’t Fix Stupid

Quoted by Comedian Ron White. You Can’t Fix Stupid. Yes that is the truth. There is no class you can take, nor is there a pill, stupid is forever.

Yea I know I rag on men pretty bad I suppose that is why 95% of my followers are women, single, married, dating, and yes confused. I do appreciate everyone who stops by to see what I am ranting over, sometimes I do get off track a little at times, mostly when someone does something stupid. Yea I rag on married men who have to cheat and step outside of their marriage because they cannot control their own home and put their bitch in place. They are scared to talk to their wives about there kinks, and needs, but for the most it is just a fantasy and nothing more it never does last to long. They end up going back home with their head stuck between their ass cheeks and continue to say Yes Dear. Pussy’s.

On the other side of the picture some men well most who are in a D’s or M’s relationship still do not fully understand what they have at hand. They have not a clue about how good things could or can be. They do not have a clue about how every fantasy, or dream, or a life of total bliss could or can come true.

Walk up to your Vanilla wife and say on your knees bitch suck my cock right now. Your going to get this stupid look like REALLY, are you SERIOUS?  Tell your Vanilla wife to strip and spread again that look, then here it comes you feel Stupid, again you can’t fix Stupid.

Men or those who are Dominant or claim to be , or who demand to be called Master do not have a clue about the possibility’s that stands before them. They know what they want but they are not sure how to go about it.

Then for what ever reason most believe or think that the lifestyle is about punishing, spanking, humiliating, degrading, and even physically hurting, and not looking at the mental aspects of what they are doing.

You broke one of my 128 rules bend over and take your punishment, I am going to beat you until you can understand my rules. I will beat you so bad you will think twice before disobeying me.

Yea it does not really work that way. The truth is a Submissive or Slave would not think of breaking a rule. The punishment in their mind is far greater than laying down and taking a beating. The Sub or Slave is more than willing to lay and take what you give, even after the bruising and yes some cuts. Which will most likely be there for weeks to come. Did they really break a rule or did you the Master change one up to fit your needs?

Submissive’s and Slaves thrive on making their owners happy, and will go through great lengths to insure their owner is taking care of. It gives the sub and slave a natural high knowing they have pleased. Even if it is a one way street they thrive on pleasing and the truth is they expect very little in return.

Here is the thing a Submissive or Slave is really looking for very little. Love , acceptance , communication, someone who is truthful. They are looking for guidance, structure, and most of all total understanding of who and what they are. As you can see the list is not really that long.

Most will allow the owner to have more than one, which you know in the vanilla world that would be a total no no. Most will allow you to pass them around like a bucket of popcorn with only the question in their eyes not from their mouths, a look of confusion, but yes most will do so just to please.

There are not many men who have the privilege of calling their woman their BITCH, again call your vanilla wife your bitch, and you get no pussy for two weeks. You can call her your whore, fuck meat what ever comes to mind, and if you wonder why you can refer yourself to what I wrote about what they are looking for.

So you have a woman, who will suck your cock at the snap of a finger, a woman who will spread and allow you to just fuck her without caring if she cums or not. A woman who will dress to please you, even when she does not feel comfortable wearing that mini skirt with no panties in public. A woman who will crawl on the floor like an animal, bark on demand. A woman who just truly wants to please their owner.

Yet after the above we still have those who have the need to abuse, be it physical or mental some still have the need.

We as Dominants are suppose to build up. Yes it is a fact that most who are submissive do have a low self esteem, not all but for the most it is true. So we as Dominants work to build up. We want to take all the hurt and pain away. We want to guide, we want ours to excel, we want to help with dreams, yes dreams can come true.

I believe most who are submissive will take what is giving bad or good. Most will except the pain, knowing they are being accepted. I just do not understand how a Dominant could not feel guilty after a long session knowing the submissive did not enjoy or get anything out of it.

It has been some twenty years now, my first was a total masochist and after the first session I was really scared and there was something inside me that just felt sicking. I had this load of guilt. Even the second and third session I felt guilty. Then it hit me the pain and humiliation is what she wanted and needed. Does this make it right? That would depend on who you talk to some see it as abuse and at times I saw it as abuse.

After our split it took me some years to realize that not every submissive was like sherri, not everyone needed the pain and humiliation. There were females in the lifestyle that were truly scared of me. What made this worse is other Dominants would praise me because of the recognition I had within the community. At that time it made me feel good but as I grew older and wiser, I knew that was not who I wanted to be known as.

We are all different, Dominants, Tops, Bottoms , slaves Submissive’s, and yes those who switch which I never understood. We all want different relationships, some of those who are submissive, only want to submit while in the bedroom, some only want to submit while at home. Then others want to give up full control. Some want to be punished, some want and need to be spanked and spanked hard, some do not want to be spanked at all. I myself am not physical when it comes to punishment.

As I stated the last thing a submissive or slave wants to do is break a rule. If they start to break rules they are acting out because they feel that they should be getting more attention and will do most anything in order to receive the attention they need even if it means breaking a rule.

I believe instead of being physical you can sit down and talk as adults, at times the submissive is looking for more to happen.

I just do not understand, you have a woman submissive or slave who will lay down and spread at anytime, really willing to do just about anything to keep their owner happy, and for what ever reason the Dominant has the need to abuse.

If anyone can figure this out please let me know, because after twenty plus years I still do not have a clue.

Vile

We Have Been Out Of Town

Arianna and I took a trip up to Tennessee, my dad is getting up there and he is not doing so well.  We stayed with my brother, we have never really gotten along, but we manage to be sociable. We are so different it is not even funny. He is a full blown conservative, while I am a bone grinding Liberal. The truth is I do bend on somethings. Very pleasant drive up, 584 miles. What use to take me 8 hours now take 9.5. Maybe the math has changed since my last drive. Although my family does know of my lifestyle it is not something we talk about. I do know my Stepmother does look down on it, but I could really careless. Her and I have never gotten along. In my eyes she is a self-centered pig. She does not cook, nor does she clean house. Anyway Arianna was great, everyone loved her, and loved being around her. There were a few weird looks when she asked for permission to eat or go to the bathroom. Her protocol was right on target. Arianna is a true sign of perfection. Nothing was said about her collar, I do know there were those who wanted to say something but did not. I could really careless what anyone thinks. I am living for me, it is my life. Let people judge or make comments when your back is turned, what do you really care.Here is the thing. I hear on a daily basis where a Dominant and submissive or slave argue, yell at each other, and there is no reason.If you the Dominant are in full control, and you show on a consistent basis you are in total control the Submissive will follow without question.  You as the Dominant can pretty much have or do anything you want without question.If you take care of your she will follow you around like a puppy. Okay maybe not a good example, but you get the picture.

Okay I am a very lucky man. To be with, to have, to own , to have a partner , a Slave such as Arianna, life is good. I have said this many times she is HOT, she is BEAUTIFUL, SMART, Highly INTELLIGENT. Probably one of the most compliant Slaves I have ever met. The word no is not part of her vocabulary. She has no sexual inhibitions, with the exception of being shared. When it comes to sex or play I get anything I need or want.

So in any relationship we take the bad with the good and the good with the bad. I believe everyone has problems, be it physical, or mental, and at times it can be a handful. The thing that makes it different is when one see’s that the other really does care, now that makes a world of difference.

Things are still good between us, life is good. We fit like a nice pair of leather gloves. You know you can tell when someone really cares, by the way they hold you, kiss, hold your hand, knowing they are listening. You can tell.

Arianna is very compliant , very giving, loving, and truly wants and needs to be a slave. Sometime ago I had said I would never be in another micromanaged relationship, but this time it is much different. Maybe the feelings are different, the relationship is different, the communication, as well as the openness.

Life is Good.

Vile