Warning Signs Of A Fake Dominant.
I am not or was not just speaking out of my ass, I have been there. I am not saying I was a fake, but I learned at a very young age how to manipulate the system, meaning how to get into a submissive’s head. That is what it is all about to begin with the Dominant being able to get into ones head. If he cannot do that he cannot control. It is you the submissive who allows this.
Yes I am guilty of a lot of messed up things. The hunt was exciting, the kill was a total rush. I was not looking for love I had one thing on my mind and that was getting my cock sucked and pussy nothing more. As I grew older it was not until my early 30’s I realized I wanted more. I had to find the one. It was then I found out the hunt was not as easy because this time I had a goal. I needed more so I had to be more selective in my search. I had three long term relationships all three were slaves. One after almost seven years her mother grew ill and she moved back to Korea. the second was my fault because I lost control, because I let my feelings get in the way. Now the love of my life Arianna
Everything I am going to tell you is the truth I have nothing to gain from misleading you
I am speaking as a man from past experience’s . So now what I am trying to do is make things right, give good valuable advice, if you listen you listen if you don’t well I tried.
Beware of the closet Dom, he is ego driven, nothing more. He will lead you down a path of total destruction and never look back, and when he is done he will wash his hands and move on.
BDSM is not about SEX. BDSM is not about SUCKING COCK or Laying on your back. BDSM is a relationship where the two form a bond that cannot be broken, BDSM is about communication and open communication. You as a submissive should be able to express your feelings with out being judged or talked down to.
So when first meeting you only give out information you think you need to, nothing to private, no problems, if you suffer from depression or anything else that should not be brought up, for sometime. This is ammunition that can and will be used against you. This is how a closet Dom gets in your head he preys on your problems. He will tell you trust me I will make everything alright. I can and want to help you. I am here for you. Listen because if you think this has happened to you before.
What makes one a Dominant ? What makes one a Master ? these are questions you should ask. If you think of a question then ask, do not be afraid to ask in fear of ruining a date, because if you do not ask he will not volunteer any information.
You need to have a plan put in place a list of questions, and make sure all questions are answered. If he seems like he is getting a little agitated then something is wrong. You the submissive is conducting the interview.
If you did not fuck on your first date, why would you think you would on the first meeting with a potential Dom. To prove your submissive ? Fucking or sucking cock on the first date does not prove anything . At this point he is already halfway through the hunt.
A huge red flag if the Dominant talks about a collar on the first meeting. In my eyes it really takes about six to eight months before someone should ever consider offering a collar. A collar is earned , a collar is just not giving out. Would you marry a man on your first date? I would not think so. If not why would you just be willing to hand over complete control of your life ?
Passwords is another huge flag. Although I do have access to Arianna’s phone I to this day have none of her passwords. Why is this, for one I am not ego driven, and two I trust her. It is not to say that one day I may have her log into her email , because I have that right and she knows it. Your passwords are just that yours. Even in a D’s or M’s relationship we still need some privacy. If he gets angry because you do not wish to share, then just walk away.
You have to be best friends, you have to enjoy being around each other. Going out and doing things together, laughing and joking. You cannot be Master and Slave 24/7 it just does not happen that way, although you are always in that frame of mind.
If you find out your spending more time on your knees and in the sitting position then guess what ? You have been had, you are just another victim another notch in his belt.
We all want the same thing out of life. A partner we can depend on, someone we can let all of out inhibitions flow away. We want to be able to share everything,but more so we want to know we are loved.
You do not have to spread your legs to prove your submission, you do not have to suck cock to prove your submission. You do not have to clean his house to prove your submission. You prove your submission by being who you are.
To allow someone to take you to a motel on the first meeting, that is just insane. We are human not cats we only have one life and to give that life up to try and prove your submissive is just plain crazy.
If you get with a Dom who is not experienced and he is into impact play you can really get fucked up. Even rope bondage you can get hurt if your not tied correctly. You can hurt muscles and damage tendons that is a fact. Impact play if you can lose a kidney if you are hit to high. Your tail bone can be broken. You can get hurt, and your not going to tell anyone how it happen due to the humiliation.
I said this yesterday once you are tied down spread eagle, blindfolded and gagged you are fair game. He can do anything to you he wants, and you will get hurt, or worse. Do not play with your life, you have nothing to prove.
You as a submissive or slave has rights, you not only have to agree to a Doms terms but he has to agree to yours as well. You do not have to submit until the Dom has agreed to your terms and your rules.
Number one, you should know where he works. You should have his phone number and have the abilty to call when ever you have the need . You should have the ability to text when you have the need and expect a reply in a timely manner. A timely manner is not the next day. You should have his address to where he lives and the ability to see him when you have the need. He should be willing to introduce you to his friends and co-workers. That is just the tip of the iceberg.
Do not ever let a Dom tell you what you are going to wear on the first meeting. Most women would not feel comfortable wearing a short skirt with no panties meeting a total stranger