The Definition Of BDSM Has Changed

In 1967 a book was released by an author named John Norman , and the Gorean lifestyle was born. Normans books were spread out over the years from 1967 to roughly about 1988.

While BDSM was still under ground the Gorean lifestyle was growing. Although the books were based on fantasy it was still about Dominants and women who served as Slave or Kajira.

Although the books may be about fantasy’s Dominant males and submissive females the Gorean lifestyle is alive and well.

In the past I have had the opportunity to meet couples who were in and lived the Gorean lifestyle, and I was amazed at how the female Slave, Kajira carried herself while in a public setting.

The Gorean lifestyle is not about sex, although it does take place. The lifestyle is about structure , protocols , and rules. While it is true most Gorean Masters do have more than one Slave , everyone works as a unit, a family. Everyone works to better the home the Master has provided.

Lets look at BDSM

B&D, which stands for bondage and discipline.

D/s, which stands for dominance and submission

S&M, which stands for sadism and masochism

No where in those words does it say your training starts with sucking cock , or if you take it up the ass or not. Through out the years the terminology has lost its meaning.

Somewhere we have lost much of the structure the lifestyle was once based on.

You will respect me. Respect it not something that can be demanded, Fake respect however can be, butt hat will washout in the laundry. With fake respect you have earned nothing but the dumb ass award, and showing just how childish you are.

You cannot demand submission, you can however receive Fake submission, if that is really what your looking for.

Again Fake Submission will only go so far.  If the submission is fake what are you really getting out of it , it would seem the submissive is getting even less.

This is the first time I have brought this up but I believe options are good.  Having options gives you a much bigger picture, and you have something to compare to as well.

I think dating more than one Dominant before entering a relationship would give you the bigger picture. It would also give you options.

It also gives you the chance to look at the different qualities in a Dominant, the different personality’s , and the different views when it comes to the lifestyle. Having choices is good and sometimes only having once choice is not so good.

It was sometime ago I had a post called 30 days of no fucking, keeping your legs closed and your mouth shut. The idea is to see if the Dominant is really interested in you or if he just wants a piece of ass. You are a slave or submissive, but you only submit when you choose to do so. The ball is in your court, that does not mean you are being disrespectful, that only means you are being careful, and you can do this while not letting your guard down.

Once you let your guard down you are had, then you only have a 50/50 chance of things going in the right direction. 30 days is not a long time when you are thinking about your future. It is your life you are talking about, whom you wish to submit to is up to you.

You can enter into a relationship and about two months into it you find out his life is a total wreck, problems coming out of his ass, drama, ex wife issues, kids, behind on child support, maybe a drinking problem, or even a drug problem.

A drinking problem equals a temper problem, and I promise you that is so true. If drinking impairs your driving, it does the same during play.

I am not sure why some will jump through hoops to pretend to be someone they are not. The truth is you can be who who are and no one gives it a second thought. Its when you try acting like your someone your not and people think your an idiot.

There are submissive’s who are just as bad as the fake male Dominant, there are those who have their own agenda , I call these women poison , they poison everyone they come in contact with. It is all about give me, give me this, give me that, I want, want, and want, but they give nothing in return.

Pure Poison and they will walk over who they have to , just to get what they want. Most Dominants or men in general cannot see it they are blind, and they will try and try and try, and continue to fail, and still wipe their tears and keep going, and really it is just over a piece of ass.
There is no pussy , ass , or mouth worth the stress they will put you through. The truth is when you are down and out you will be left out in the cold with no one to turn to.
If your damaged you may be able to be fixed, but if your broken, you will remain broken, well at least until you wise up and you realize the world is not about you.

I got off track there a little bit , Franco Bolli asked me some time ago why I just ragged on the Fake Dominants and never women, but he is right there are some gold digging bitches out there, who will drain you dry like a leach.

The respect thing, I have had other Male Dominants come right out and ask me if they could fuck Arianna, and I just get this blank stare from them like I am really going to answer their stupid question, or can we trade slaves for the weekend?
The someone sharing their property I never really got, or how a Dominant could just pass his property around like they are a bag of trash.
Here you go fuck her, or suck his dick make me proud , and there are some who really think this way. So some dude dumps his cum in your slave and you take her home and eat her out, really?

Your D’s or M’s relationship should not be about sex only. You want that bond between the two of you, you want that connection, that feeling, that craving.

I am not speaking about those who are married and they are venturing off into our world, they will find their own comfort zone , they will find their needs and kinks, and they will grow. Some will keep it just in the bedroom, but there are others who will grow, and continue to grow and search.

So with your new found Master your Training consist of meeting in public with a short skirt with no panties. Your not allowed to look at me eye to eye , Sucking cock, and Anal Training on cam. Oh and I almost forgot your not allowed to cum for 30 days or at times even longer.
I would like for someone to explain to me what are the benefits of the above ? What type of structure does the above provide , how does the above help you in your daily life ?

See this is not a game , if your going to suck dick , lay on your back and take it up the ass, what are you going to get out of the relationship?
You already have a vision , you already know what your looking for , but your to afraid to speak up in fear of getting dumped

Submissive, What makes you a Dominant ? Being a Dominant what do you get out of it ? Do you have any on going problems ? If divorced is there any drama with your ex ? Do you have a drinking problem or any type of drug problem ?
What are the goals you have for your property ? What type of structure do you plan on providing ? Are you going to require me to do something that could cause me to lose my job or family ? Will I be allowed to see my family and friends ?
How many D’s or M’s relationships have you been in and what happened ?
The list of questions just go on and on and on, and the funny thing is they are all in the back of your mind but your to scared to ask them again in fear of being dumped.

You could avoid a huge mess just by asking a few questions.

Why do I have to suck your cock to prove I am submissive ?

Never allow someone to disrespect you, never allow someone to use you unless it is on your terms.
You deserve the best life has to offer you do not have to settle for less..

I have a saying. I want the world and everything that comes with it, and the truth is today and everyday I feel like I have it, and you can as well.

Vile

There Is A Clear Difference In Dominants

I log into my email and from time to time something catches my eye, and I think Hmmm. So I click on the link and the first two lines has to catch my attention, if not I click the X.

One thing that is for certain is, we as Dominants are all different. How we carry ourselves, our personalities, our views when it comes to the lifestyle, our needs. What type of submissive or slave we need in our life.

Just as every Dominant is different, the same goes with every submissive or slave. Each is different, each has different needs, each takes different care, and yes each needs different rules and protocols.

You have the Romantic Dominant who is loving and sensual, ahhh Such as Franco Bolli.
You have the Daddy Dom such as SouthernSir who is a Daddy Dom but one who does set rules and protocols to help benefit his Baby Girl.

You have the no Protocol Dominants, or maybe those who believe in protocols , and that would be me.
You have Dominants who do not have rules or very few, then you have those Dominants who follow those 128 Basic rules, yes they are out there.

You have Dominants who passes their property around like a board game, you have dominants who force their propriety to take part in unwanted sex acts with others.
Their submissive is there for a couple of reasons. 1 She is scared to leave. 2 the submissive has been giving an overdose of stupid, or 3 the submissive is happy where she is at and truly enjoys her life with her Dominant.

Just because he loves passing his Bitch around and he gets off on watching others fuck her, does not mean he is wrong. That is his kink, that is his need.
I may think he is pretty fucked up, but it is not my place to say he is wrong, because what works for me may not work for him..

It took me about 3 months to put all of Arianna’s rules into place. There are only 25 rules as a matter of fact, and she can recite everyone and not in any particular order. That is something I am proud to say she wanted and needed to do on her own.
I am huge on protocols, as a matter of fact protocols take the place of some rules we already have in place or they go hand in hand.

There is also a clear difference between a D;s Relationship , A Daddy Dom relationship and a Master and Slave relationship. There is also a clear difference between a D’s and M’s relationship, just as there is a bigger difference between a Dominant and a Master.

So you take the old Rubiks cube, and you label each one, with a different part of the lifestyle, then you solve it. That is just how many different relationships there are within the BDSM lifestyle.

There are some Subs and Baby girls who did not want or need rules, there are some who do not want or need protocols. The good news is there is a Dominant out there for them, and there are some good Dominants.

There are also so real fucking losers. There are some who should be wearing Tampons because they are just as much a Bitch and the Bitch they are looking for. Yes I am speaking about the Married Dom, most are Daddy Doms, if you do not believe me do a little research, yea I am not going to do all of your leg work. Spend a little time on wordpress, and read all the whiny subs on here , because they never hear or see their married Daddy.. Bawwawawaa Yea cry me a river.

No email, no phone call, no text, no nothing because awe he is to busy with his work, to pick up the phone and give you 10 seconds of his life.
You are submitting to a whiny bitch of a man who cannot run his own home. His wife wont take it up the ass but you will. So now you get to be his Little Baby Girl.

You know what is ever more funny than these wannabe Daddy’s , I am going to guess there are roughly lets say low numbers 15 million people who blog on wordpress, and there has not been one married man with big enough balls to make a comment , about how I talk about pure toxic garbage.

My wife and Slave who I truly love and adore, needs most of the above. She needs the protocols , she needs rules, she needs structure. I knew all of this before entering the relationship. It was not my place to try and change her. Once I agreed to enter such a Micromanaged relationship it was my duty as a Master and Owner to perfect her.

You do not walk in my shoes, You do not have a clue as to what my daily life is. I am ever more sure there are not many who could walk in my shoes or even want to.
I am in a good place, life is good.

Just Do not judge me, or tell me I do not know what I am doing.

To be the man you got to beat the man

Vile

Interview With A Dominant

Today I am going to talk about a very good friend of mine although we have never met in the future it is my intentions to do so.
I also have one more guest that I am in the process of preparing questions for another Interview with another Dom.

I also plan on doing several more in the near future.

Franco Bolli has been blogging for sometime, and I am going to call him the sensual Dominant of BDSM. Mr Bolli has been on an awesome journey and is now in love with his princess.

If you have not guessed we are total opposites, when it comes to the lifestyle, maybe I could take a few sensitivity classes from him, because I am really lacking in that area I do believe.

Mr Bolli has a way of really expressing himself , in a very calm and sensual way. Which I do find very interesting. I do at times wish I could write as good as the others on here, but I am just me..

Here is his link I think you will enjoy his blog if you have not already been there.

http://sirfrancobolli.org/2014/07/17/reblog-red-flags-asmsg-bdsm-abuse/

Now the reason I started the Interviews with those who are Submissive and Dominant, is so everyone could get a real inside peak at what others are thinking and how they really view the lifestyle.
Sometimes we can blog about ourselves but when your asked questions and you answer them with honesty you can learn a lot more….

So here we go…

1 When did you first become interested in BDSM ?

I got interested in BDSM long before I knew what it was called. I remember, as a kid, getting warm glows in my belly when in series like Ivanhoe (1958-1959) or movies I saw chained women being held in dungeons.
Around age 8 I found in my parent’s bedroom drawer an illustrated catalogue with paintings made by the Belgian surrealistic painter Paul Delvaux. Those strange landscapes with sharp dressed men wearing bowlers and naked women with huge black triangles between their legs were a visual feast and my pre-sexual fantasies thrived on it for years to come.
The French movie “Histoire d’O”, I was 17, opened my eyes. It was what I dreamt of, fantasized about, wanted in a relation.
BDSM stayed dormant for decades though. It was about never finding the right partner. Of course I had a few flings but they never ignited.
After my divorce, when I had my rucksack back in order, I subscribed on a dating site with a more BDSM like profile but in vain.
I met Princess at a parent’s evening at Little A’s school and I instantly knew she was the one I had been waiting for all my life. We met each other’s needs, were completely compatible and gradually our love life roughened up. Princess and I enjoy the BDSM in our relation to its fullest and it has given us so much pleasure and fulfillment. We even followed a Shibari workshop.
So I think I’ve always been very interested in the lifestyle but until Princess never really had a chance to explore it in depth except for images, books and fantasies.

　2 When did you know you wanted to step into that Dominant role, and has it changed your way of thinking?

I’ve always been sexually Dominant, it is the way I am wired. For me BDSM and Dominance go hand in hand. Yet the D/s dynamic started later on in our relationship, months after we had welcomed BDSM. That too came quite naturally.
I am not sure if it has changed my way of thinking in a way that I am aware of. Being in an active Dominant role and enjoying a BDSM love life has freed me as it enabled me to be who I really am.
It goes without saying that at the beginning of our BDSM relation I had to get rid of some educational prejudices style “a man does not hit a woman” even if, deep down, I knew it is consensual.
I know Princess still has some moments, remnants of her education, when she puts in question her submissiveness.
Princess and I talk a lot about the lifestyle though, like about our viewpoints, fantasies, wishes and that is a very good thing.

3 You and Princess have really grown, what is it you have noticed the most between the two of you?

We have grown in different areas and we have evolved not only as a couple but as individuals too.
I guess the way we talk, communicate, and how we trust each other completely are, for me, first ones in a relation and extremely valuable.
One a more sexual level I can say I have never given myself so completely as with Princess and that too is vice versa.
As a couple we have not only become much stronger, as individuals we have gained strength too.
When summing it all up I can safely say that over time we have become, all levels of our relationship, One.
4 You have mentioned on more than one account you and princess going to The Fetish Cafe. What was the experience like for the both of you?

Playing at the Fetish Café beats playing at home due to the unique environment and the toys like a pillory, Saint Andrews Cross and winch. We also wanted to meet other people in the lifestyle. We eventually did and even hired the place for a few hours with two other couples for private play.
Going to the Fetish Cafe is fun, something to look forward to, a place where we can meet and feel at home amidst kindred spirits. We also like to watch and being watched while playing.

5 You do not live in a TPE relationship as of now, Total Power Exchange. Are there plans in the future for such a move?

Between Princess and I there is already some Power Exchange established. Princess likes it when in certain domains I take control. Planning our holiday like where and how and also making the reservations is an example. This does not imply I don’t talk to her about the plans.
Next to that and on a day-to-day basis there are things Princess is better at than me and vice versa so we complement one another.
I talked this question over with Princess and we both agree, TPE is not something that would work for us.
6 Being new to the lifestyle are there any rules you have in place or are you just filling things out for now?
We have only a few rules in place but I’m sure there will be more installed when we finally get to live together.
Princess is not allowed to come without permission. Her orgasms are under my control and she has to thank me for every orgasm I give her. When Princess is not at my place any form of self-pleasuring is prohibited.
When we go to bed Princess will always make sure to be in our room before me. She will be waiting next to our bed, kneeled. Princess has a red cushion for that purpose. She makes sure the cushion comes with us on weekends or holidays when we sleep elsewhere.
Princess’ body is mine to use whenever, wherever and how I see fit and Princess makes sure she is always ready to serve me.

7. Before you found the world of BDSM were you into the kink?
Not really. Decades ago I had fantasies about the world of swingers. One evening I ended up with married swingers’ couple and third man in their bedroom. It was fun but I knew instantly it was not what I was looking for. If you enjoy an ice cream with your partner or with a bunch it still is Vanilla. So it was a one-time experience but I learned a lot about myself though.

8. How has Princess helped you grow?
Princess has helped me grow in so many ways. With so much patience she gradually took away my trust issues.
Princess feeds my creativity by challenging me, by being my muse, by motivating me. Princess pushed me into writing again and for that I am very grateful.
Princess has given me the opportunity to fully express myself on so many levels.
Princess has fully liberated me, freed my spirit and made me into a much better man. A caring man, a loving man, an emphatic man, self-confident and with Princess at my side for the first time in my life I see clear and enjoy every moment at its fullest.

Much love to Mr. Franco Bolli, he put a lot of thought into these questions before answering..

Vile

Vile

Shut Up And Fuck Her

What is so special about the lifestyle is we are all different, we all come from different DNA, well unless your from West Virgina. Bad joke I know.Every Dominant is different we all have a different approach, we all act different, we train different, we have different needs, and wants. We come from different parts of the world, different cultures. We grew up with different back grounds. Most of all we look for different things when it comes to a slave or submissive.So what I am going to do is point out four other Dominant and you will clearly be able to see the difference, if your not already following them. We are all different in every sense. The way we speak, the way we put words down, and our thoughts on relationships are very different.I am sure our rules differ, our protocols differ. The thing is we are five Dominants and Masters who take the lifestyle very serious. Another thing is we are all in a relationship. Most are settled in and some are just getting to that point.If you submissive’s and Slaves would just pay attention and read. Reading is the easy part, taking it all in and putting it to good use is the hard part.Just as I was speaking last night at the MAST meeting. I am a Mother fucker to live with or so it would seem. I am strict, I do not give in I refuse to give in. If you can survive 90 days with me, you can live with any Dominant or Master. One or two things would happen. You would leave a new woman, a proud woman, a woman ready to face the world and find that special one, or it would BREAK you.Those words SHUT UP AND FUCK HER I mean that. a Happy Slave is a well used Slave, using all three holes. Spanking , tying up, probing holes with objects. In my eye a Slave has three pussy’s I am sure you guessed which holes. All holes and they are for my use when ever I have the want, no questions asked.The first is someone I have a great deal of respect for that would be Joseph McNamara, calm cool and collective, and he deeply cares for his submissive Gemini. He stands true to the lifestyle. His words are somewhat deep, but very structured.http://sadandmas4u.wordpress.com/2013/12/22/dominance-and-submission-happy-holidays-from-joseph-and-gemini-asmsg-spanking-happyholidays/.The second would be southern Sir and he dear submissive Kayla, who at one time I was hoping her name was Traci, but it did not turn out that way. Southern Sir and I again are very different, we both have different styles, we train different, we treat ours much different, but in the end we want the same. That is for ours to succeed.Then we have Sir franco bolli Who is in a newly found relationship with his Princess. They are both seeking their way with each other but I am sure they will find a happy medium. Sir Bolli is more Sensitive than the other four of us, but that is in no way a bad thing. That just means he enjoys expressing his feelings and thoughts more. My hat goes off to both of them.Another I am getting to know is http://mastermdsg.wordpress.com Check out his blog you will see the same he does seem very genuine and most sincere.Then comes okay I have added more than five. but I cannot forget about I believe he is called Mynx’s Sir on word press. The two are on a journey and have a long way to go, but with the path they are on they will be there in no time.I do not expect everyone to agree with me, if you did then something would be wrong, bad wrong. We are all different, all from different parts of the world, but the bottom line is we all want the same out of life.I do not envy those married men who spend their afternoon trying to warm up to their wife in hopes of getting a little at night. Or her causing an argument so she can avoid having sex. You men dug your own grave by cowering  down and giving in, your you no does mean no. The truth is if you would just man up, and take the lead things would be so much better Today I had Arianna in what I call a sexually broken position. Hand cuffs, ankle cuffs, ear plugs in. Blindfold, then I use clear body wrap to go over the mask to make sure she could not see. I placed her on the bed on her side. Rope around the back of her neck down to the ankle cuffs, pulled her legs into her stomach turned her around so her ass was hanging a little off of the bed. Lubed up the 4in butt plug slid it in and I just just back and looked. I looked at what I owned. I then walked up slid my cock in and fucked like it was New Years all over again. I used the flogger a little but I do need a better one. I also used a snake bite kit for the nipples, you leave them on for 10 minutes and they grow three times the normal size.Although sex is not the core of a BDSM relationship and it is just the tip of ours, even at 51 I love to fuck.We do have it made. href=”https://thekinkyworldofvile.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/doggy.jpg”>

Vile