Why isn’t owning a slave legal

Believe it or not, there are organizations who visit Washington DC and speak to Congress and senators about our lifestyle. There are organizations who are active in the community who meets with law enforcement about our lifestyle.

Just like in traffic it takes one dumbass to cause a backup. The same goes with a Master and slave.

NCSF is the main organization who rallies for us. I emailed Ms Wright who runs the organization and her reply was, the only time a Master contact them is when he’s in trouble. Has never supported the organization, did not belong to the Fetlife group nothing.

The master beat his slave senseless and was facing jail time. As I stated it takes one dumbass.

Some dude thinks because someone decided to submit to him, in his mind he has a open ticket to do what the fuck he wants. Do not pass go, do not collect 200.00 your going to jail. Then you have no one to call except NCSF, and they are going to say oops.

These are the uneducated when it comes to the lifestyle or those not willing to learn. Heaven forbid you have to put a little work into a relationship.

I believe most people are ashamed to admit they are in the lifestyle. Why do I believe that? You see people marching for different reasons and causes but never for the lifestyle. Afraid of what family may think, or your friends and employer. What did you do last night Bob? Ohh I tied my girl up, fucked her ass with a 12 inch dildo and face fucked her. How bout you Jerry? Yea.

In Europe it is much different, most countries are open minded when it comes to kink.

I am sure you remember when this hit the news.

This is fucking Hot

So you get arrested, your broke and all you have is a dumbass public defender. You know your in trouble, but who do you call? NCSF and they put your name in the database and you are not there. However you expect them to defend you in a court of law, yea Here’s your sign.

Your a Dumbass

In my 25 plus years, I have found the biggest offenders are married men, who are cheating. This is just from my experience in the lifestyle, and for what ever reason even though he’s married, he’s excepted in the community even though the wife does not know.

These are probably just a few reasons as to why it is not legal to own a slave.

Vile

Implementing Rules

Over the years I have talked to hundreds or slaves and those who are submissive, most of the conversation has been about rules , who when , what and where?

You meet a new Dominant and after the meeting you have a long list of rules you must learn and remember word for word, you must be able to repeat them when asked , but the fact is the Dominant cannot do that. Why ask someone to do something if you cannot do it?

Knowing someone for an hour , a week or even a month there is no way someone could possibly implement any type of rules.

You have a Dominant then you have a Master these are clearly two different type of people. In most cases the Master is in a TPE relationship , Total Power Exchange while a D’s relationship the submissive has say in what happens and can say NO fuck you I am not doing it. A TPE relationship runs much deeper but in many ways both have the same responsibility. We are to take care of ours and we ensure our partner is on the right path. We set goals , we have a plan for self-improvement so the rules we put in place should be for the good.

Dominants and Masters are in theory Therapist  without PHD’s  but the difference is we can come up with a plan, a plan to guide someone in the right direction. A Therapist spends about 15 minutes in a session and tries to make decisions based on the information giving. Based on the information giving is based on the prescription giving, and I know from experience more often the information that is giving is not 100% honest. Most do not feel comfortable opening up their life to a complete stranger more so if you’re in the lifestyle. If you do not share your lifestyle there is no way anyone can possibly make the right decision.

When asked by a doctor about our home life I explain we have a very structured home, we have communication, no drama but most of all no arguing. Most catch on  to our lifestyle without me having to go into great detail. I go on to explain I take care of everything , I handle all problems we may face and at times I handle problems Arianna knows nothing about.

A great deal of those who are slaves and submissive suffer from some type of depression , some are even bi-polar. I did not say all so please do not put words in my mouth.

Many take medications many take more than one, so we need to know what type of medication and why? What is your medication suppose to do and what happens if you do not take it?

we have to know all of the above before we can even think about giving out any type of rules.

We have to know what makes them tick, why do they think the way they do, but most important what are they thinking at any giving moment. I know several times a day I ask Arianna what is on her mind, what is she thinking? Many times if you ask what is wrong it throws up a defense a wall goes up and the fight begins, when in actuality there may have been nothing wrong. This is the base of most arguments , fights screaming at each other. we say things to hurt each other, we use words we would not normally use. It takes longer for words to heal than it does a black eye, words are never forgotten.

A few things we tell a potential partner when we first meet them is always be honest , meaning always tell me the truth. Be open , communicate and always be loyal. We also state we will be there no matter what and we have their back when no one else will.

If we expect the above then why would a Slave not expect the same in return? Why should we be held to different standards ?

Submission cannot be demanded, respect cannot be demanded, loyalty cannot be demanded. Everything we do as a Master or Dominant has to be earned.

You will call me Sir , you will call me Daddy, you will call me Master why ? This or those titles we so crave are earned, the same way we earn respect , the same way we earn trust.

Once you begin or agree to start a relationship then we can start to implement some rules, perhaps a daily bed time or a wake up time. If medication is being taking a good rule would be to let you know when and what.

Most Dominants who are new to the lifestyle often give rules out that are just sexually based. Like you must worship my cock  or suck whenever we are alone. You must wear short skirts with no panties. You will learn to take my pain, you get the idea nothing has to do with structure or improvement.

Just because we are Dominant does not mean the submissive next door  will fit our needs, it does not mean the slave we are talking to is our fit. This is where the getting to know each other comes in. Learning about each other, our likes and dislikes. We do not want to come off as trying to change someone, we want to let the slave know we want to improve.  Although changing someone can be done it does in tell a lot of work and should only be done if you plan on the relationship being long term.

There are two hard parts in finding the perfect partner and there is someone who is perfect. Finding the right partner, then finding the right partner who is willing to adapt to your ways, follow your rules, follow your structure and be willing to be trained and take it seriously. If you find the above then it is a need for the slave..

Have a plan put in place, knowing who you are and what type of Dominant you are will determine what plan you need. This goes for the same with the sub or slave.

If you’re a Daddy Dom why would you pursue a Submissive or even a Slave? If you’re a Baby Girl why would you pursue a Dominant or a master?

Rules and protocols run the same path both basically have the same outcome. However, both will help where help is needed.

The slave must be willing first off, rules , protocols, and training must be a need , if everything is just a fantasy it will be time wasted, if a need the possibility’s are unlimited .

The need to give up total control the,  need to give another total control, not a want but a true need.

If your rules are mostly about sucking cock, no panties in public , or anal training if you’re in a LTR , sending pics or videos , then maybe you should sit back and rethink your relationship.

You have to truly need it, you need to crave and with the right leader your relationship will truly rock.

Before moving into a relationship why would you not want someone who wants to be friends, someone who wants to get to know you as a person a friend , even a best friend before moving into the kink area. I would think you would want someone who has your best interest in mind and you can see the difference but you turn your head hoping everything will be okay , even if it is not you stick around in fear of being alone…

Living apart makes a D’s relationship rather hard for the Dominant to maintain control. I myself am hands on, I am visual. I like to stay in contact even through out the day, I like knowing where mine is and what she or they are doing. I require check-ins, I want to know how the day is going. These are forms of protocols  if you have enough protocols in place very few rules are actually needed..

Rules are meant to improve where improvement is needed…

Last you must have 24/7 access toyour  Dominant , you must be able to ask questions ands hare your concerns. You must be allowed to communicate.. A good Dominant will never raise his voice or shlow anger towards you

Vile

 

 

 

Your Going To Be Used

Welcome to a whole new world , a world of  kink , bondage , Discipline , sex , things you like and things you do not like. Welcome to the world of giving up your control. Welcome to the world of taking orders , following rules , protocols and structure.

There are two types of Dominants and Domme’s , those who care about you and have your best interest in mind , and those who are just looking to use and abuse and could not give a fuck about your feelings or your emotions and well being.

The bad your a object, your a piece of meat you have three holes or two if male with no face and when you speak your voice is not heard. Once you become to needy or start to question your status you are tossed aside like trash.

To the users you are nothing more than a commodity on the stock market and as you grow older your value will drop , your cock will not work as it did and your tits will start to sag as with your ass. You will go from trading at a hundred dollars or more to penny stocks and your playing field will become much smaller, and there will come a time your game will end.

You can only use so much , you can only play on someones emotions so long before your called out.

These men and women see submission as a weakness and nothing more, You are stupid , you are ignorant you have zero brain cells. Once you have grown tired of sucking dick or emptying out your bank account  your tossed a side only to start your next search but you did not learn from your last excursion. You will take the same path of destruction and repeat the relationship again and again. You will continue to send your pics , shoot videos and self punishment, and you will repeat these actions over and over and over.

You will complain to your friends , you will blog about your sorrows, you will blog about how bad the Dom was, you will complain about how you were used , but not one time will you accept responsibility for your own actions.

You make a mistake you correct it , if you make the same mistake that is possible but if you continue then you are just as stupid and the one using you. It is no longer the user it is you and only you, your the only one to blame.

The fake Dominant shows up when no one else is available and if you think your the only one sitting on the couch waiting for a text , you need to change your light bulb.

When you do see him or her , you get the pleasure of sucking cock or being used for about an hour then they have to run and you repeat , you sit on your couch watching Jerry Springer , because you can somehow relate.

The good news is once you decide to get on the right path and find someone who truly cares about you, the one thing you will be proficient in is cock sucking.

I know

You will continue to lay on your back , suck dick and get abused until you come to terms that something is wrong. Those who see the fake Domme’s seldom get the pussy if every, it is more bout humiliation and your bank account.

Your not dating little Johnny anymore , someone you would sit in the car and make out for hours with, or go to a movie theater when he would finger you or cop a feel of your tits.

Your life is going to go through some pretty drastic changes and you need to be on your game when you open the door.

You are now going to give up most of your freedom and in some cases all of your freedom for sometime.

Your going to be told what to wear , how to speak and when to speak. How to dress , your hair, your nails everything about you will change and it will change to fit someones needs.

Your no longer going to be begged to suck dick your going to be told. Your no longer going to begged to give up some pussy it will be taken and you will agree.

You have moved from being viewed as a girl friend or partner to property, an object a toy meant to be used.

You have to be able to communicate your needs and your thoughts when entering a relationship. You have to be able to say NO before entering a relationship. If you are feeling intimidated through fear you are not in the right frame of mind to be making any type of lifestyle decisions.

If you do not agree with something be it a sexual act or a rule you need to speak up , because if you do not you may be in for a bad experience and one you could end up getting hurt.

Here is  the key though is you are going to give up all of the above, if you are going to agree to all of the above, if you are going to serve one, give up control of your life , you are entitled to get something in return. What you get in return I guess depends on what you want out of life. I guess it also depends on how long your willing to wait on the one or spending your time jumping from one relationship to another making the same mistakes..

So why do we see so many lifestyle relationships crash ? Just as I am guilty I have settled for less, I have giving into my needs just for that moment in time companionship. Putting my kink to the side well some of it. Entering a relationship knowing we were not compatibility , it works for a short time but in the end you crash.

Many of us including me have put sex ahead of everything else, knowing it was not going to work. If your relationship is based on sex alone it will crash and burn with both leaving very hateful , putting the blame on each other.

Most are not willing to wait for the one , because we are selfish we want it now , we want it yesterday. If you the Dominant or submissive operate like this you will have a very lonely life and in some cases abusive.

I get emails all the time of those wanting advice , i email back with my opinion and I never hear back, why? Because it was not what they wanted to hear. They did not want the truth, they wanted to hear everything was going to be alright.

Life is based on two actions and only two. Choices and Consequences

vile

 

 

We Are Master And Slave

Last Friday we attended a local MAsT meeting and I can say it was one of the best meetings I have been to…

The topic was one I would of never thought of , The Seven Deadly Sins , how interesting does this sound when you attached BDSM to the topic.

Last year I was speaking with a very good friend of mine and the topic of Arianna came up and he said it was like I hit the power ball . He continued saying the relationship we had was very unusual even for a Master and Slave. As I was trying to take in his words I did not fully understand mainly because I am just me.

I very seldom speak about what I have done , nor am I one to brag. Many who know me think I am conceded but that is so far from the truth, the bottom line is I am just confident, and I am confident be it in private or public..

While at MAsT a Mistress made a comment that in any relationship there must be some sort of a exchange of power. As I listened I was trying to understand and I spoke up and said I disagreed , continuing I began to explain in my home I had complete control and the final say.

The Mistress then asked Arianna if she worked out of the home, of course the answer was yes, a 40 hour a week job she has been at for some 16 years. She was then asked if I controlled what she did at work and made her decisions , I saw this getting way off topic, but Arianna replied while she did make decisions at work I knew her every move, Arianna stated if she was told to quit her job she would do so , but it would fall on me, the responsibility and the consequences.

What makes a Master and Slave relationship ? The answer is there is no real clear definition , Each M’s relationship is unique in its own way, it is the way each relationship is defined between two.

The same with those who live a D’s relationship , it is the two who defines their relationship. No one has the right to tell someone they are wrong, no one has the right to tell someone they do not know what they are doing.

Many do not understand our relationship, and while some may be curious once I try and explain some find it to be unbelievable.

Some 3.5 years now I can say Arianna and I have yet to have an argument, and that is something I am proud of , that is something I have or we have both worked hard for. The base of this is from our communication.

When her and I first met we noticed the compatibility right away, we noticed how easy it was to talk to each other and not at each other.

I put strict protocols in place more protocols than rules. Protocol creates stability, consistency and forms good habits , Protocols keeps everything in check, and by staying consistent it keeps everything smooth…

At times a Master needs to humble , a Master needs to accept responsibility when something goes wrong. A Master must admit when he is wrong, as much as I would like to say I am perfect I am not, although at times I may feel I am, but I truly believe that is just confidence.

Expressing my needs prior to entering our relationship , I went into great detail when it came to my needs being met and I was not willing to give in or change anything.

On the other side I had to agree to Arianna’s needs in the type of M’s relationship she was seeking. If I did not agreed with her needs then it would not of been fair if she settled for anything less.

 

Going into a Lifestyle relationship you have to have a clear picture and understanding of what your getting into. If you look over the bad then you have to deal with the consequences, after all you made the choice…

A mistress was questioning Arianna or stating that there had to be a time in our relationship where she had some control, as the conversation continued it was a D’s relationship she was speaking about and not an M’s.

Arianna made the comment , My master has complete control but with control comes consequences. That is a very true statement that is why when I make a major decision I am thinking of two and not one, however there are times we sit down and I want her opinion and there are times when I do take her advice and roll with it.

Instead of criticizing someones relationship  maybe we should take a little to understand their dynamics. Maybe if we took the time to learn our community would not be so divided.

Vile

 

 

 

What Kind Of Dominant Are You

This is a topic that has no real answer, over the years we have branched off so much , in most cases the term Dominant is not even Dominant it is a self giving title. Daddy Dom , Master self giving titles.

Even if you try an place a definition on each one , to many that definition is different and they all come with different stages of responsibility’s , to no responsibility at all.

That is not what gets under my skin, what get under my skin is when one of the above try and talk to me and tell me I am doing something wrong.

A few months back I kinda of invited Arianna and I over to someones home, at that time I was assuming some type of friendship may come to light, well I was wrong…

As we were sitting on his balcony and he looked at me and said there are not many like us out their , and Arianna’s jaw almost dropped off… Just a little more info , I did kinda invite us over texting then calling.

Once there his submissive was wearing a see through dress , I could tell she felt very uncomfortable , probably her first time in such a setting, once we were sitting outside and talking he made the statement that arianna could get naked as well, I just looked over that statement and continued talking. Most of the time the first impression sets the pace when meeting someone but it is clear the first impression was a total fake.

Sitting there telling me about how depressed he is , how many times he has thought about suicide , my mind was just racing. So I asked about medication? Ahhh fuck that it makes me to tired , I cant that that shit. While talking he is showing interest about bringing a 3rd into his home to train a submissive.

Okay I got off track that subject has been bothering me for sometime…

Every home is different , the way a Daddy Dom , a Dominant , or even a Master Runs their home different, some may have few to no rules or structure or no protocols.  Some may set goals for self improvement. Some may set task to keep you busy..

The bottom line is it is up to the Dominant to determine what path he wants to take. This does take a lot of soul searching , the main reason is you want to find someone who is going to fit your needs , someone who wants and needs to adapt to your way of living.

How do you as a submissive want to be treated ? How much do you want to give up as in freedom ? Do you want rules ? Do you want to give up full control or just partial ? Are you submissive only in the bedroom? These are questions you should have answers to before entering a relationship. How deep do you want to explore your submission ?

What are your limits ? What are your soft limits ? What do you want to explore ? Who do you want to explore with? Then you allow yourself time for growth , learn and understand.  Insist on communication, communication is a need and a must.

How do you want to be treated in private ? How do you want to be treated in public or around friends and family ?

In the past I was guilty of making a rush to judgement , entering a relationship before covering all bases or entering a relationship just to fill that void, and that never works , it does but only for a short time..

What ever your kink is , your limits , there is someone out there..

The Daddy Dom tends to be more on the soft side, more nurturing , more caring. He tends to be more clingy and expects the same in return. The Daddy Dom gives support and direction and makes sure goals are met…

The Top is in charge of a scene after the scene has been talked about, the bottom will many times give the top direction and the Do’s and Dont’s , once the scene is over its over the top is back to everyday life.. The upside most Tops are very good rope men, the down side do not look for aftercare after a session.

The Dom is a Dominant during play or just in the bedroom , Many times this is a release for married couples , or those in a long term relationship. The Dom is usually Dominant outside of the home as well.

The Dominant takes on a bigger role if living 24/7 he may enforce more rules , structure , protocols, in a sense in complete control of his home and environment. What I did miss on all of the above was the communication, that is something we all specialize in.

The Master takes on a much deeper role , putting together an extensive training program , takes on a greater role in molding one to fit needs. Rules are put in place and enforced. Training is never over it is  continuous growth , recognizing change and knowing when change is needed.

I believe all the different roles above could very well fall under the Master’s role, I believe the above could fill the shoes , but we all know where we want to be and the type of relationship we need. Many times the Master will take on a greater role in the local community , allowing others to reach out to them. Many times a Master who is active in the local community is a leader and takes pride in watching others grow..

This is not to say others do not take a role in the local community, I have seen Daddy Doms, Dominants all take part in helping others.

At one time I was a Sadist , looking back if I had it to do over I would of taking a different route , I do not believe I would of stepped into that role. I was not a Dominant , nor a Master I was someone who got off on inflicting pain. I did not care about feelings or emotions, I had no idea what aftercare was nor would I of cared. Very few Sadist are Dominants, while it is possible for a sadist to fall into that role.

The Switch I find to be interesting, and I truly do not understand other than it is just an individuals place, somewhere where they feel comfortable. Only being Dominant or submissive during that scene or session.

I recently tried playing cupid and I still do not have a clue as to why I would want to take on such a task, but I thought these two who did not know each other would be a perfect fit.  The one a male is a switch the other claims to be a submissive but I am sure she leans way towards being a slave , I just thought that would fit , because I was not sure how a switch would respond.  So neither one thought the other was interested, and it has just all but stalled. When I asked if he could step up and be a full Dominant , he stated he was not a Uber Dominant, what ?

The next again for what ever reason I knew two who were single so again I step in and introduce the two one a Daddy Dom I have known for a couple of years , he had a bad breakup with a submissive and all the blame was put on him, well as it turned out it was both. So I introduce the two, and before wanting to learn anything about the submissive he jumped right into sex and service, now I know why he is still single. In the end I had to jump in and put his breaks on.. So my cupid career is over..

It does not matter if your male or female you can tell if someone is truly interested in you.. Again there are two things that we are in full control of in our life, and that would be Choices and Consequences , the ball is in our court.

There is much more information , this is just a quick over look and my own opinion

Vile

Training And Online Dominants

I use to perv the internet a lot, as a matter of fact back in the day, yahoo had one of the best profile search engines on the net. You could go to profiles and just type in a word of interest. Submissive , Slave , Slut , Whore, and one of my favorites Humiliation. Aol had something close to yahoo but yahoo was the place to hunt pussy.

I would pour a big ass glass of Tea , crack my knuckles and go to work.  You could search all over the world, by state , county and city. It was just a total fuck search, maybe that is why yahoo shut it down…

Your looking to enter the lifestyle and your looking for a Dominant, today the first place to look is your PC or Laptop. It is easy a cup of coffee and Google.

Online training is noneffective and has no meaning. Most online Dominants are married and spend spare time when the wifey is not home sitting behind his computer jacking off.

It does not take long until the submissive finds out they are being used. Rules are just sexual self pleasure acts, sending pictures and lots of phone sex. Having you drive someplace in public and Masturbating, or told not to wear panties out in public.

The first thing your told to do is keep a journal, a journal the dominant will never read. A journal of your daily activity’s which to you have very little meaning because there was no explanation on why you should keep such a thing…

The self punishment for not sending nude pics on time, or taking to long to respond to a text…. Self punishment , spanking your pussy until you cry while on the phone with your dominant, clothespins on pussy lips or nipples for long periods of time.
Then you end up spending money you do not have on toys, dildo’s and vibrators , nipple clamps , ohhh and butt plug for anal training.

While the Dominant does have control , that control is very short lived, 30 , 60 maybe 90 days and at times a little longer or until that deep loneliness kicks in..

I have done all of the above. I have used and manipulated , and I have shared pictures with friends that were sent to me. I have told stories how some bitch double fucked herself with two bottles.

I can say Ive never sat in front of my computer and jacked off, I mean its okay but nothing like the real thing…

The Dominant thinks he is in charge but in reality he is just barking orders that have no meaning, and your gullible to follow them until you figure out he is just an ass..

I am not going to say that all online training is not effective because at times , and there are some online relationships that do work and last for years.
Those relationships are those where the dominant has put a plan in place, and works on getting you to him, or him to you. Then again this can fail as well. If you are not the one painting the picture, you never see the finished product until you get to your new home.. Someone can paint a pretty picture and fill your mind with what you need, but you need to know all and have proof before you decide to move 1500 miles..

Over the past ten years or so I have gone through some Major changes. Changes in what type of relationship I wanted, what I wanted in the future, and most important how I saw myself living in a M’s relationship…

Online Dominants are just that, very few have ever had a D’s Or M’s relationship, and chances are they never will… These are men or women who cannot control their own life much less others.

The Topping from the Bottom I spoke about this topic last week, it can be fun , or it can be the death of a relationship.. Someone had contacted me not long ago while I was talking about BDSM and depression. I truly believe a Dominant who suffers from depression , he has no business trying to enter a D’s relationship. Someone who suffers from depression even on medication can only handle so much…

If you are a submissive who is trying to convince a man who suffers from depression you are doing more damage than good, and yes you are Topping from the bottom..

Many online Dominants have anger issues, many use humiliation as a way to control, they feed off of your problems they feed off of your self pity, and your low self esteem. Kinda like a Leech , until you have no blood left , nothing left to give and your left out in the dark alone…

The reason online training cannot work in the long term is because a D’s or M;s relationship is so personal. The Intimacy is so deep , the eye to eye contact, the communication, and last but not least the physical contact.

Many have tried and tried and tried with the results being the same, making the same mistakes thinking the next will be different…

You the submissive has to set ground rules. I email you answer, I ask a direct question, I want a direct answer. I text you I want a text back, I call you answer, providing your not at work. Those are not unrealistic demands.

Vile

BDSM Relationship Reset

We all get in a routine , we do the same ol thing day in and day out. The routine becomes such a habit we do not even realize it.
The same goes for relationships , the old routine , and up until last night I never gave it much thought until Arianna brought it up, and Reset was the word, a relationship lifestyle reset.

Now you could say the same thing about a vanilla relationship, but I really doubt you could pull your wife by the hair force her down to her knees, shove your cock in her mouth pump until you blow your load, bend her over the couch and force two fingers in her pussy and two in her ass and pump until your arm gives out, then put her in a cage. That does sound very interesting.

The routine , Yes Sir, No Sir, may I Sir? You may , you may not , hey lets play!!!!!!

You already have rules in place , you have structure in place and rules but your submissive or slave feels like they are in a rut, a dead end, no where to turn, and once their feelings are discussed you then think of a plan.

A Boot Camp a Mini Boot camp , 12 to 24 hours maybe even 48 hours, you can set time aside , after all its your relationship we are talking about, you cannot put a price on time spent with your partner. Once we get comfortable we tend to expect things instead of appreciating them , that is something we have to keep in check so your partner does not feel they are being taking advantage of…

So I am in the planning stage of what a Reset would mean to me , maybe something like the story I blogged about ? The Breaking Of Sabrina, maybe a kidnapping scenario, that would last 12 , 24 maybe even 48 hours.

Bondage , Hot wax , leather hood, ball gag, dildo’s , face fucking ass fucking … Fingers deep inside Arianna’s pussy probing and feeling around inside as deep as I can go, Fingering her ass, one, two, three fingers pumping her ass.

No conversation just using.. A Total mind fuck weekend nothing discussed , nothing negotiated.. What comes with all of this a total M’s relationship reset…

So we are different a Vanilla relationship may make plans for a nice weekend , a short get away. I on the other hand have a different thought of mind.

I think the only times this would not work is one , if you went through no training. Two if you did not enter the relationship as a D’s or M’s couple, or you do not live together. I do know LDR’s you cannot put an effective training program in place. The Dominant is not present so there is no way he can be in control 24/7 and he can only go by what he is told..

Sometimes we can get in a rut and we do not see the whole picture, we grow to expect things, everything just seem normal, and things begin to grow Blah.

Even today almost three years later I am always thinking of ways to change things up a little. The one thing we do not want to do is put or add more than the sub or slave can handle. The same with rules, once you have been together for a month or so the Dominant can begin to add a few rules, as the relationship progresses more can be added..

Many times we as Dominants let our feelings get in the way, we think one way and act on another, maybe in fear of that huge bad word NO. If your relationship is on track the word NO will never come to light. Your thinking you want your cock sucked but you see your sub watching TV, or playing a game on the phone, or maybe you feel guilty?

I take training very serious , once you begin a M’s relationship you are molding someone to fit your needs. You are changing someones thought process.
You are changing someones habits, you are training someone to know what your thinking, how to do something, and when to do it.

You as a submissive may think well I don’t want to give up that much control. Once in a relationship and as your trust builds , you will begin to let more and more go. Once you find you are in hands that truly care about you and has your best interest in hand…

One thing I do know, you always put your partner first no matter what, you keep an open line of communication open. If that happens you both will grow.

To have someone kneel because they want is a total rush, to have someone kneel because you can make them is just ego feeding.

viledesires62@aol.com

Vile

Traits Of A Good Dominant

I was looking back over the years the other day from a wild and crazy teen , joining the Us Army at 17 to get away from home, and I can pretty much remember every year except for the Carter Administration. I had joined the Us Army October 1979. When I left the house both parents were at work so there were no good byes. There were no letters back and forth , so I never showed up for mail call.
I had left behind a 100 friends who were not friends if that makes any sense. I never really got into any real bad trouble, I steered away from the trouble makers. I was young and doing my own thing. While others partied and smoked pot , I was tying girls up. At that time it seemed like the best alternative.

I have noticed since I have gotten older , I have not really changed much at all , Ive just changed my way of thinking. I grew up on the street so by the time I had turned 17 and joined the army I had street smarts. I could separate the bull shitters from the real.

I have zero tolerance for lairs I mean zero , none. If you lie to me we are done. Most people lie because they want something or they are hiding something.

I started washing dishes when I was 13 so I always had my own money even as my parents struggled. There struggle was drug addiction , and alcohol. Every 90 days or so one or the other would go into detox for 30 days and get clean. It was just a vicious circle that was never ending. I had just turned 21 and my real mother passed away from a drug overdose.
I remember my uncle calling me I was stationed in Korea and he asked if I was coming to help with the arrangements, and I thought for a second and I asked why would I do that , do what you gotta do man I hope it works out.

So I learned at a very early age you had to watch your own back because no one else was going to. I also learned early on that greed fed the human mind , I also found out greed is the down fall to many , but they want to put the blame on others. Family , Family are the ones you really have to watch out for. That does sound cold but we as humans have changed so much over the past 30 years. I saw it when my Grandfather passed away. He had not even left the hospital and they were going through his things and fighting over who got what. Like the movie , you have to learn to separate the good , the bad and the ugly.

While in school I was only in one fight. Fighting was something I never looked forward to, or never thought I would be in one. Fat fred is what he was called and he was fat and people were scared of him for what ever reason. One day while boarding the school bus Fat Fred tripped me while I was going to my seat. Once I got up I straddled him and I just started punching and punching and punching. The bus driver pulled over and had to pull me off of him.
Fat Fred spent a week in the hospital. I had broken his nose , his jaw and his eye socket was ruptured. That was the end of my fighting career , after that I never had a problem with anyone. I never understood it but his parents never wanted to press charges, maybe they knew he was a dick.

So where am I going with all of this rubbish , well I am in the learning stage. I spend my time learning and watching and listening.

Honesty I learned early on honesty is the best medicine , if your honesty people will respect you even if they do not like you.
Some years ago I drove a Tractor Trailer , one of the drivers who switched with me brought a truck back in as he was backing to the Doc , the supervisor met the driver and asked him what happened to the trailer door it was destroyed. The driver make the comment Vile did it. James my supervisor looked at the driver and said Vile did not do that , I know this because he would of told me.

A good Dominant can communicate and will do so on all levels. A good Dominant will all you his property to communicate as well and again on all levels. With communication comes with having the ability to listen and communicate your feelings or your thoughts

A Good Dominant is loyal even if he is in a Poly relationship because all parties know of everyone. A good Dominant is loyal and will remain.

A good Dominant is able to provide structure and make his property feel secure. He will provide structure to keep his home is good balance without any disruptions.

A good Dominant wants his property to succeed in life he will set goals and insure they are completed and help when needed.

A good Dominant is in full control of not only himself but his home and surroundings. He is level headed and thinks things through before acting. A good Dominant knows his actions not only effect him but his house as well.

A good Dominant again is in full control going in a different direction this time. He is in control of his temper, he is in control of his anger and he is not abusive , be it mental, physical , or verbal. An angry mans words are a calm mans thoughts.

A good Dominant will respect your limits , while at times limits will be pushed one must know and respect when you have had enough.

A good Dominant will put you first above anything in his life. You should be all that matters. You know even today I still receive some 50+ text a day from Arianna. It does not matter what I am doing whom I am with I take time to respond, by not responding in a timely manner I find it to be very disrespectful and uncaring.
I am sorry I was to busy to text you, really how long does it really take to pick up your phone and send a text msg ?

Now the above statements could go with any relationship as well , be it a vanilla , Domestic Discipline , or if you venture off into the world of BDSM. The bottom line is if you do not have those core values in any relationship it will not work. It seems over the years we have lost much of our values as a society , now it is mostly dog eat dog even when it comes to our families.

One thing you as a submissive or slave has to remember , you are the one who has to adapt to your new Dominant. You are the one who has to follow rules but rules within reason.. You yourself has a lot to do with the relationship working. You have to have that mindset when entering a new relationship , and you have to remember every Dominant is different , every Dominant has a different way of doing things , as well as different rules and standards.

Vile

How Deep Is Your Submission

I was sitting on the couch the other day and I was looking at Arianna. I was thinking how fast time has flown by , but what I was really thinking is how lucky I am to have found the perfect Slave , partner and wife.
I cannot say I built our home I have to say both of us built our home. It takes two to build a relationship and it takes two to work together so it can continue to grow.
So for me to sit here and say Look at what I did , would be a false statement. I may of laid down the grown work but without Arianna it would not of been possible.

I am always very cautious of those who use the words I or me on a regular basis. Most who do spend a great deal of time bragging, about what they have done or accomplished.

I am a firm believer we write our own ticket , we decide where and when we are going to go. We are responsible for our decisions, we are responsible for our right and wrongs. It is us to sets the pace in our life and what happens. Now there are times a wrench gets thrown in and we have to back up a little, but staying true in what you believe and do unto others as you would do to them, hmmm did that come out right ?

Although there are not very many people I like , I treat everyone with respect. If I don’t like you I have nothing to do with you. I am not going to get wrapped up in others drama or problems , I have my own house to take care of.

Drama will eat you up from the inside out like a cancer. Drama can destroy your home , drama can and will destroy your relationship no matter who brings it in through the door. It is not fair to bog someone else down with problems. This does mean you do not listen or help a friend in need , but there has to be a limit. Once it becomes a problem or a burden to you , then it is time to cut the rope unless you want to go down with the ship.

Submission is a beautiful thing , It puts you in a peaceful state of mind , the feeling of freedom , the freedom of being who and what you are, and you only have one to answer to. Your Dominant is the only one in your life you have to answer to, well excluding work but you know what I am talking about.

Just like meeting a New Dominant , and being asked about your limits. Well if your new to the life style you really have no idea. Being in a secure relationship with communication allows you to explore that side of you. Maybe you had limits in place, which is normal but as you grow those limits will slowly fade.

On Fetlife I love reading post when a guy says, I am looking for a bitch with no limits. What he is looking for is someone he can abuse and degrade and feel okay about it.
Early last year I was chatting with a Dominant who was mad because his slave left him because she would not fuck who ever he wanted her to. It was his right to make her lay down for who ever. The bad news is she came back , I am guessing maybe a codependent thing , maybe the feeling of being secure.
Can you really love someone if you just pass them around to just anyone ? Your going to fuck and suck who ever I say, where I say and how I say. Can that really be love?

There are those who share , there are those who explore but that is generally worked out between the couple, and there is nothing wrong with that. I myself am not the sharing type, well with a male anyway , a female would be different , but only if Arianna brought it up and she has a few times. Then you have to think about what your going to catch. It is not like it was in the 70’s when you could go get a shot.

You plant the seed , you water it , you fertilize it and it will grow. The same with your relationship. In a relationship your fertilizer is communication , and honesty. This allows the both of you to grow together..

All the kinks , the bondage , the cock sucking , the ass fucking , even to some the humiliation , the control , the submission. All of this comes as you grow , the more communication you have the more you will want to try or do, the more you will want to please the one who is in control.

In a steady long term relationship the submissive , or slave has the need to please and gets pleasure out of pleasing or know they are pleasing the one they are with.

Submission is not something you can demand , respect is not something you can demand. You will call me Sir , you will call me master. Really have you earned that much respect? I just met you why would I call you Sir? Maybe because it makes your ego swell. Maybe it fuels the Dominant inside you. Maybe you should earn that right.

Calling someone Sir or Mam is a lot different when your doing it out of respect than it is when being demanded.

I like the game , playing the game of earning someones respect , then one I am trying to form a relationship with. I like the challenge , I like the finding out how , when and where. I wait for that one word Sir. Then I know without a doubt I have been on the right track. Once you have earned that respect you have a wide open road.

When I met Arianna , I was truthful from the start about who I was and what I needed out of a relationship. I explained everything is such detail she had no questions. I am like that about anything I explain to her. Before I speak I look at every possible question that could be asked , even before Her Training started I explained everything is such detail she had no questions about anything , she just followed.

Following was her greatest down fall because she is one to trust to easy , she thinks other she had seen had her best interest in mind, just as many of you trust to easy. Under the wrong hands it can turn into a bad situation.

Rescuing and submission is not a good combination. You never as a Dominant want to be put in a situation where you are rescuing someone. Many times these are the ones who are wanting you to step in and clean up the mess they made. It is not that they cannot fix it , they just do not want to put in the time or resources it takes to fix.
Entering a relationship many do have some problems and some have problems they have no idea how to fix. If you feel you have a good chance in a long term relationship then it is okay to step in and handle a few things, just make sure your not on the Titanic with a bucket.

I told Arianna , I want you to be able to anticipate my every need. I want you to know when I need something. This was confusing to her at the start of our relationship. She asked me how am I suppose to learn all that , it seems your setting me up for failure?
Watch me and listen , that was the first 90 days of her initial training , and I can tell you the first 90 days was not a very easy task. Training is not made to be easy.
She watched and she listened and to this day she is on top of things. She is because it is a need for her. Her knowing she is pleasing me fuels her submission.

Knowing when someone needs down time is very important , knowing when someone has had enough and they just need time to let their mind go. This is something huge I believe in. Allowing Arianna down time , to see family and friends, taking her shopping. This place a huge role in supporting her.
You know at times Arianna gets somewhat Manic , that is her I accept her for who she is, but there are times you have to let the manic run its course , because slamming the breaks on something could do more harm than good, so I let out a little rope and if a mistake is made I fix it, not that there has ever been something drastic.
Knowing your partner means the world , knowing when to let a little rope out does more help than bad. Being there to pick things up , insures your partner you have their back.

Male insecurities , the two words that start almost everything argument , is what’s wrong ? These two words do more damage than anything , because it is not asked just once or twice especially is the answer is nothing. Then if the answer is nothing there has to be something wrong, so that question is just hammered until something is made up. This all comes back to the down time. Sometimes we just need to vegetate , think , let our mind go and just chill.

Who are you seeing? Are you cheating? Are you talking to anyone else? This means one or two things , the Dom you are seeing is very insecure which is not a good quality when it comes to a Dominant or he is the cheater. 99% of the time the accuser is the one who is stepping out , so then you need to ask him those same questions..

A Dominant who demands your passwords to all of your accounts that is a security problem as well as an ego problem, not to mention a lack of trust.
It cracks me up when these married fuck tards who are cheating on their wife does not trust their submissive. They cant be trusted but they cant trust the other one they are with. How fucking stupid is that? Fuck Tard was a nice word by the way.

We all choose our own path , you just need to make sure you are traveling down the right path , and you need to know your partner has your back..

Vile

What Kind Of Submissive Or Slave are you

We are all Different our personality’s , our lifestyle , our work. We are come from different backgrounds. Submission comes on so many different levels. Dominance comes on so many different levels, our kinks come on so many different levels….. More important our needs come on so many different levels.

Over the years I have grown , over the years I have made mistakes and I have paid my dues. Today I live by two words yea you know them Choices and Consequences , those two paths will lay out your whole life.

Submission, The state of being obedient : the act of accepting the authority or control of someone else. Those are some very deep words and words that need to be given heavy thought.

So you grab a pen and paper , a blanket and curl up on the couch and you let the thinking begin. I have posted something else about this , one was. There are seven different types of submissives , but as I was thinking about that topic I believe there are way more. To be put in any one group is not right or fair, so you have to get your thinking cap on.

Do you want to follow rules? Do you want structure ? How much power do you want to give up? Do you want just in the bedroom , the house or 24/7 ? You have a million and one thoughts so I would not think this is something you would complete in one sitting.

What kind of Dominant are you looking for? Strict ? One who gives you rules ? Protocols ? One who punishes when needed? One who keeps his word and tells the truth ? A Dominant who will listen to you , A Dominant who will communicate with you on all levels ?

You have to figure out your kinks , some you will not be sure of because you have not explored. What hard limits you have , medium and soft.
You must know the difference between the different Dominants. A Dominant and a Master are very different. A Daddy Dom is very different from the other two. Once you have kinda figured out where you think you would fit, then you can determine what type of Dominant your looking for….

Wanting someone who wants you for you, not someone who wants to try and change you. I take and improve on what I have to fit my needs. If you have to go through all those changes then you have found the wrong person, the wrong partner…

Acceptance in any relationship matters the most , being able to be yourself , be who you are and being free.

Many who are first entering the lifestyle will feel rushed , and may even have that feeling of being overwhelmed. It happens and this is when you have to sit and take control over your emotions and your thoughts. You have to learn to tell the difference between what your heart is saying and your head, most of the time your brain is right.

Limits , every Dominant wants to know what your limits are. Do you enjoy anal sex? Do you swallow ? Do you like Rimming ? Do you like humiliation ? Do you enjoy pain ? The most frequent question on the street today is are you BI ? Why is that number one I do not have a clue?

Being new to the lifestyle you have know know if what you want is fantasy or reality, not knowing has been the down fall of many relationships. If it is just fantasy and the relationship ends , then it was the Dom who abuse you , or so you think. Many times when fantasy meets reality it can be a crashing blow. Now your fantasy turns to fear and the Dominant ends up getting blamed for something you told him you wanted.

Being new and not talking to anyone in person who lives the lifestyle is really hard. While it is true you can chat on the internet , knowing if someone is telling you the truth or not is harder.

The number one rule you have to follow is never let someone tell you who you are , this is trying to change you and change the thoughts you have already put together in your head. You may say well I am a submissive , and someone try to tell you your a slave or a baby girl when in fact your a submissive. Your going to listen because this Dom has told you he has 100 years in the lifestyle. The key to your success in the lifestyle is being able to be you. The key is finding someone who will except you for you. If someone wants to change you then you are not be accepted for who you are.

If your asked a direct question then you give a direct answer. You do not at any time give an answer because it is what they want to hear. You answer with your first thought. Are you poly ? No I am not nor do I wish to be. Acceptance is the key word here.
Those two words again Choices and Consequences those two words will make you or break you and your answers need to be clear and straight forward.

Do you like pain ? You already know the answer to that question or you should if not then your answer would be , you know I am not sure I am willing to explore a little. A direct question gets a direct answer.

You have to remember every submissive is different , every submissive has different needs , just as with a slave or a Baby girl. Your needs are what is important , your needs should be met without resistance.

Rules are meant to improve not change you. Rules are meant to provide structure and guide you , not change you.
You must send me nude pictures everyday , that is not a rule , that is exploiting you , and do not think he is the only one who is seeing your pictures.

Do not think the first Dominant you meet is your last , if something does not feel right , then thank him for dinner and tell him it is just not you, you are not what he is looking for. Choices and Consequences.

The predators in the lifestyle truly out number those who are real and have their best interest in you. It does take time to figure out who is real and those who are just looking for a quick fuck. These types of predators will string you along until you catch on.

Remember this is your life , you are in full control of the outcome.

Vile