Training Your Slave Humiliation is needed

You meet and you get to know each other, and you are both ready. You have already talked about your likes as well as your dislikes. Being in a Master and Slave relationship there is really no negotiation, so it is much different than living in a D’s or Domestic Discipline relationship.

The Master explains what he needs and wants the Slave either agrees or she does not. In most cases the Master will not bend so it is very important that the Slave has a clear understanding of what their relationship will be like.

The training I have never been one to explain what will take place or when. Most of the time once the training begins and the Slave really has no idea she has already started her new life.

As your training progresses the Slave will begin to adapt. Your looking at maybe two weeks before you see any real progress.

You the Master must remain calm and cool throughout the entire process. You must be able to maintain complete control of your anger and emotions, anger has no place within the lifestyle.

While getting to know each other you both share what is expected, although there is no negotiation to Master must be clear and upfront., and everything must be explained in great detail, even when it comes to rules and protocols. The Master needs to go into such detail so when finished there are no questions, and there is a clear understanding what is expected from the Slave.

In my world the training process is like a long road of mind fuck. Never knowing what to expect, when or where. Most of the time you can train your Slave and she has no clue.

At the start of training the Slave may notice somethings , she may see how she is adjusting, and soon her train of thought will begin to change.

If the Master begins with positive reinforcement then in most cases the resistance factor will be very low, but if your only pointing out the bad then it may rise to a higher level.

The idea is not to want to punish, the idea is to keep from any type of punishment. This is done with clear communication, and being able to understand your Slave. You have to know how far you can push and when to back off. Although you may go into the relationship with very few limits, those limits in place must be respected. If you surpass those limits you have allowed you will lose all trust, and the training is now at a total stand still.

The Mind Fuck Training, everyday should be something new, even if you just change things up a little. . The idea behind not explaining what is going to happen during the Training process is to keep the Slave thinking. If you keep that frame of mind they will follow, they will observe, and they will take in.

One of the first things I do is limit the Slaves space within the home. I walk the Slave through the house and tell her where she is allowed to sit or stand. In the beginning furniture is never allowed. You are taking something away that the slave is use to. Even dining at times I had Arianna sit next to me on the floor and I would feed her myself. I controlled what she ate and how much, I controlled what she drank and how much. The entire training process is about control.

About a week into the process I start adding times, adding time I mean what time to go to bed, what time to take a shower, what time to eat, everything has a time, and everything must be on time. This is a control thing. Being in control is remaining consistent , on a daily basis, an hourly bases, and by the minute.

Humiliation plays a huge part in the training of your Slave, although I do not condone any type of abuse, and some forms of humiliation is abuse in my eyes. I believe some humiliation is needed in the training process. Most females are not use to being exposed. This is why I limit the time clothes can be worn, again it is a time thing, everything has a time. Slave positions I do not use often but during training I feel they are very important, this brings the humiliation factor in, again most are not use to being fully exposed.

The inspection position I call is on knees head down the slave reaches around and spreads her ass open. Fully exposed. This is the time you become vocal. Speak about how much you enjoy seeing her in this position. Speak about how hard it would be for you to be a slave you could never see yourself in such a position. That is position number two. One is on back legs spread the slave pulling her pussy open. You the Master sitting on the couch or a chair, again being vocal.

The use of slave positions and being vocal puts the slave in a very humble state of mind, I did the positions almost daily, and at the same time, again everything has a time. This is not something you are sharing with the slave but time means everything.

Use your Slave and use on a regular basis. Now is the time you do not care about aftercare, the word aftercare should not even come up. If the Slave should bring it up, the question should be ignored. You the Master you do not have to explain yourself, the Slave has to do the explaining. Remember we are speaking of a Master Slave relationship not a D’s. The D’s relationship everything is planned out before hand.

Use your Slave and use regularly without question or telling the Slave what is going to happen. On your knees open mouth. I truly enjoy face fucking, I think with me it is a control thing. On your knees hands behind back NOW as I push my cock in I instruct her to stay still and just hold it. Once I am hard I start to pump her mouth, just like I am fucking her pussy. Don’t swallow let it just flow from your mouth just drool. five maybe ten minutes just stop and walk away instructing the slave to get up . Say nothing about cleaning up, just carry on as if nothing happened. Go to the bedroom, position number one. Pull to the edge of the bed, again becoming vocal. Tell the Slave how much you admire her, slide your cock in and just fuck like there is no tomorrow, dump your load, pull her by the hair on the floor instruct to suck you clean, once done just walk away leaving the Slave there to gather her thoughts on just what happened. Anal sex do not ask you take, of course you may choose to use lube or use their mouth for lube, do not ask take what is yours.

Do not allow your Slave to cum without your permission. Remember you now own. The Slave is for your pleasure. You control everything. The Slave should only be allowed when permission is asked and granted.

Having the Slave in a very humble state of mind along with humiliation, allows you to continue, and continue with the least resistance. Again you never explain yourself.

Names the calling of names in my training process is very important. Just as never being exposed or humiliated, the same would go with the calling of names, again this is a Master Slave relationship.

If the Slave is sitting on the floor simply walk by snap your fingers. Follow me whore, follow me slut. Once she begins to follow and she will. Stop wait, snap fingers follow me whore. On your knees hands behind back. Yes my favorite. Face fuck finish and walk away.

As your progress in the first week you want to start implementing rules. Remember every rule must have a meaning, every rule is meant to improve the Slave on a daily basis, and every rule has a time, again time means everything. Protocols are also part of the training process. How to stand, walk, talk, with whom you may talk to, when and where. Service position standing legs shoulder width apart hands behind back.

Again being consistent is the key and it is the only key that will allow you to open each door. You being consistent will make your slave consistent, you being consistent will allow your slave to retain what you are teaching.

At night once the Slave ask you permission to enter the bed. You talk about what has happened that day. This should be the slaves time. The slave should be able to express their feeling about what has happened. How they feel about what happened.

If you the Master during any part of the training you let your emotions get in the way you will fail. The Slave will spot this and see this as a weakness. Weak is not what we want to be seen as.

You are changing their entire thought process, as I have posted before a type of mind modification. You are training someone to fit your needs and wants

Time is the biggest factor everything has a time. if bedtime is 9.30 then bedtime is 9.30 every night. If shower time is 5.30 then shower time is 5.30 everyday. Time is the most important factor. The thing is in most cases the slave will never catch on, or even think about it, but everything will fall into place, and things will be done without a thought.

The ninety day factor, ninety days tells everything. This is the I want this or fuck you I am leaving. If they choose to leave chances are they will return in a short time. Why is this? You have changed their entire thought process, this falls back to the mind modification. Things on the outside are not as simple as they once were, their world now looks different, they no longer have that structure.

I know some of you women are thinking what the fuck? Does this really happen? Indeed it does. Remember every Master has a different process, some training is not as extensive, some training does not go as deep, some training has no humiliation.

I can tell you this when we are out this is more so at a local function, a Munch or A MasT meeting people are amazed at how Arianna carry’s herself, how she acts, how she speaks, how she dresses. How she follows my protocols. If asked a question she looks at me waiting for approval before speaking

The same training would not go for a submissive or a Baby Girl. There is a different mindset. I have been with a submissive, I was a Daddy for seven years. The training and care is much different. We are talking about a Slave and only a Slave.

Once you are past that ninety day number you can let up some, you can now let aftercare in the picture some, but you have to remain consistent I cannot stress that enough. You must stick to your word, you must be truthful at all times. If you say your going to do something then do it. If your going to punish you must explain why, and you must have a VALID reason.

Your Slave must be allowed to have contact with family at all times. The Slave should be allowed free time after the first week. I can assure you they will need a breather.

Remind on a regular bases you own them, be it just in general conversation or while using sexually. You own them they are owned property. After each rule have the words You Are Owned. Those words will have a great effect. Remember we are visual.

If your in a LDR relationship you must still have a VALID reason when you punish, not being able to send a video with your submissive masturbating is not a VALID reason.

Everything you do has to have a VALID reason.

A submissive or Baby girl has rights. They have the right to what was promised, they have the right to be treated the way they were promised, and they have the right to walk away.

A man, a Dom, A Master Or A Daddy if you cannot keep your word that is abuse. If you lie that is abuse, if you punish without a Valid reason that is abuse. If you cannot control your temper that is abuse, screaming and yelling that is abuse. If you give nothing in return that is abuse. If you are like any of the above you have no place within the lifestyle and you are a piece of shit.

Just wanted to add that has nothing to do with training, but in a way it could I suppose

Vile

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Giving Up Total Control

I am not sure if a Submissive is capable of giving up full control, I know a Bottom would not think about doing so. I do think under the right circumstances a Submissive could cross that line into the Slave hood.

I have lived with a few Submissive’s the relationships I knew were not going to work. It was mainly to fill a void at that moment and time. We all need someone, and at times we make mistakes by settling for less.

Maybe if I wanted to really invest time while I was with a submissive things may have turned out different, but I was not feeling that interject. Although you can train someone to fit your needs, if the other is willing.

Once I put my foot down and finely came to realize that I needed more. I stopped fucking around. I cannot tell you how many Slaves or who thought they were Slaves I met. You can tell after the first ten minutes or so if your going to click. Okay we are not clicking so what do I take her home, fuck her and send her on her way, nah we will finish dinner then say hey it was great but lets just stay friends. This is how I programmed my mind. I refused to settle for less . I was going to find the one.

A Submissive or Bottom has the right to say no, and the Dominant has to respect that word. After all his partner is just a submissive and not a Slave. The word NO is not in Arianna’s vocabulary , although she does have the right to speak up when she has a concern and I do value her opinion.

A couple of months ago I was talking to this Daddy Dom at a local Mast group, this is when he told me he was not the type of Dom she needed. He said she was way to needy. I said welcome to the world of BDSM buddy.

Most who are Submissive or Slaves are needy, very needy. This is something you have to except if you wish to be in a relationship. Being needy is not a bad thing nor does it make you any less of a woman. Finding the right one who is able to be there and fill that gap is important.

Just as I told this Daddy Dom, if you really care about your submissive, then you should be able to Adapt. If you really care then you should be able to fill that void. Well she is into pain and I am not. Again if you really care you as a Dominant should want and be able to adapt. You must be willing to put as much into the relationship as your submissive is, if not you will fail.

Think about being a Slave, A Slave who has been looking for sometime, and just running into road blocks, making the wrong connections. I know myself even as a Dominant I would of felt pretty lost, I did while living with those who I was not really into, a very lost feeling.

So a Slave enters her new Masters Home, sits her bad by the door, her life is about to change and change forever. As soon as she closed that door behind her she left all rights on the other side. The slave no longer has any say so. The slave can no longer watch TV when she wants to, cannot shower until told. Told what to wear, Told where she is allowed to sit or where to stand. What time to go to bed. Your sitting at the table working out the final details of what it is going to be like and what is expected. Either you agree or you pick your bag up and walk back out

Most of the time I let Arianna prepare dinner, she will tell me what she wants to cook, although I do not complain about food, because while in Korea and Thailand I ate some pretty fucked up shit, so nothing really taste bad. I may change mine up from time to time. The other night Arianna wanted chicken breast, fine you bake yours I want mine fried. No questions, no buts that is how it was prepared.

I cannot even imagine how a Slave feels once she walks through that door and closes it. The Slave now has to adapt to her new Masters ways. The Slave has to Adapt to rules, Protocols. The slave has to adapt to a brand new environment.

She asked me how will I know what to do. My answer was just watch, listen and observe, and do exactly what your told. I also told her I want you to be able to anticipate my needs, that was a statement she did not understand. She worried about it for months, but everything just fell into place. Today I seldom have to ask for anything because it is already done for me. Watching and Observing.

One of the first things I did was introduce her to people I knew in the lifestyle, as a reference, as I told her from the beginning I would. After that I cut off all the outside world except for her work and family. The trained had begun. Eight months Arianna was not even allowed on the furniture, eight months. Something I need to more often that I did before was feed her. have her set on the floor at the table and feed her as I eat. She loves that feeling, or more so being chained to the table while eating.

Anticipating my needs. I ask Arianna what are you thinking about I do several times a day. I want to know where her thoughts are. A lot of the time she will reply sucking your cock.

Anticipating my needs, my night clothes are out when I get home, water by my bed. drying me off when I step out of the shower. Filling my glass without having to ask. Spreading when told to, it is about my needs.

I was drinking coffee the other day at the kitchen table and I got to thinking I have this fine ass bitch sleeping naked in my bed, I need to hit that. I walked in undressed, crawled on top spread her legs fucked her dumped my load and got off, and she loved it, she loved the fact that I just came in and used her for my pleasure.

Arianna is needy probably the neediest slave I have ever met, but I get so much in return The word needy never really crosses my mind. I knew she was needy when I first met her, I knew she needed to be micromanaged when I first met her. I knew everything upfront, I excepted her and I knew I had to follow through.

I cannot imagine what a Slave would feel like once that door closed. It has to be pretty scary. A very lost feeling, very unsure. I am not sure at what point the reality kicks in, I have never asked arianna that question.

Us as the Dominant there are only a few things we need to do, to make sure the relationship grows. We must stay honest, we must live by the truth, but most of all stay consistent , and we must follow through with what we say. If we do those few things and we stay in line. The Slave will follow, the Slave will drop to their knees without question, the slave will spread without question.

It took sometime for Arianna to stop second guessing me, to stop worrying about things. Today things have change for the most, at times she still wants to second guess, she still worries, I cannot change that so its on her, but I have seen a vast improvement.

Trust does not happen over night, it takes time to build. I am not talking a week a month maybe not even six months. I would imagine it would depend on how many times the slave has been burnt. Trust is everything.

Last but not least. The slave has to know there are consequences to their actions. The slave also has to know you will follow through with any punishment. If you do not follow through as you stated, you the Dominant will begin to lose control, once you lose that control. Kick the dirt and move on because you will not be able to regain.

Vile

Training Your Submissive Or Slave

The truth is many Dominants do not want to put the time or effort into building a D’s or M’s relationship if they are not going to be 24/7. Although I have seen some who do not live together and it works out just fine.

This is the hard part because I was going to say the Submissive or Slave has to be honest about everything. The Newly found Dominant must know everything. There is a fine line with what you want to share, with someone you just met. What ever reason the submissive just wants to run off at the mouth and give their whole life story during the first meeting,

I had sex at a young age, I was raped, I was molested. I have been abused in past relationship. I suffer from depression and I am on these meds the list goes on and on.

In the beginning you want to start of with the basics. What type of work you do, what kind of music you like, all foods you like, any hobbies you might have. I was asked recently on what the time limits should be before the two have sex. Well there is really no time limit it is what you feel and if it feels right then go for it. If the Dominant knows nothing of the above and it starts out sexual, then that is all you will have.

Also if you have any Drama in your life you need to clean it up before entering a new relationship. The same goes with the Dominant, no Drama, and no problems with Ex’s

If you meet online and your chatting, and within the first twenty minutes your asked if you swallow or do you take it up the ass, then just hit the X button and move on. It is clear what he is looking for.

In the world of BDSM a D’s or M’s relationship you have a mixture you have the Vanilla side then you have the D’s or M’s side, but you have to have both to make it work.

Arianna was telling me about a Dominant she was seeing out of state, their whole relationship was based On M’s and nothing more. He took her out maybe three time in 6 months or so, and it always ended up in a argument. The Vanilla was missing, not to mention he never fucked her well a couple of times. She was there mainly to clean house, and be in shackles all day, while he was on his laptop looking for another Slave to add to the family.

I however do commend him on doing the searching, most Dominant place such a task on the submissive, which is very wrong. The Dominant is the one in most cases who wants another, the submissive will just go along with the idea. So he puts the task on the submissive and has her post her pictures instead of his. I wonder why this is?

It takes time to get to know each other, you cannot learn everything over one dinner date. Remember the Vanilla thing. I know your anxious and you want things to happen now, yesterday. You need to just chill, and think with a clear mind.

The Dominant however will lay out his plans on training and what he expects out of a relationship. This is your cue do you stay or do you go? Can you meet his needs? Can you comply with his standards ? This is the time you decide.

You being the submissive you can negotiate the terms of the relationship. Your not a Slave, so this is your right. You can put the what I will do and what I will not do on the table. The Dominant will either agree or he will not.

Remember not all women like or enjoy Anal sex, or being face fucked. You may not be into humiliation, or hard impact play. More important you may not want to be shared as many Dominants will do, and be proud of it. Pass you around like a piece of meat.So it is very important you are honest and upfront about what you will and will not do. If you are no Bi and do not wish to take part make it clear this is a hard limit.

You the submissive has the power to negotiate the terms of the relationship. The Slave does not how every have that right. The Slave will either feel they can be compatible or she is not able to comply with the Masters needs.

With the Slave it is yes I can or no I cannot. When a Master or Dominant is looking for a Slave he is looking for something very specific, he knows what he wants and needs. Like me I refused to bend. To me a relationship was more important than just a piece of ass. Getting pussy or my dick sucked was not hard to find, but finding someone I was compatible with was extremely hard. If I just wanted pussy you would come over spread and then you leave. Why because there was nothing there.  Before you get all bent out of shape, this was all in the open before hand so both of us new what to expect. Lynn who I saw for almost a year until she got nutty, it was just about sex and nothing more. I knew there would never be a relationship and she knew the same thing. I had it made come over Friday night and leave Sunday morning. At that time it was perfect, but I started losing interest because I needed more. I stopped enforcing rules and protocols and we slowly fell apart.

So your Newly Found Dominant will start out by giving you protocols and he must be consistent with enforcing. He will give you rules to follow. Now when you first meet, he cannot possibly give you rules to follow because he knows nothing of you. Lets say we have a five day getting to know each other period. Maybe he can give you one or two the first meeting such as Bed time, or a time to email or text, I would think that would be acceptable.

I re-posted yesterday about protocols many of them I use on a daily basis but most of them I did not. Using protocols are a mind set. a type of mind modification the way you think or act public or private. The way you speak, the way you walk. The way you greet others , who you may greet and who you may not.

If we are out and another Dominant tries to give Arianna a hug she is to extend her hand, and a Dominant who has been in the lifestyle for any time should know that hugging someone slave is just a big fucking NO.

If your relationship does not have any protocols then go back and read what I posted pick and choose or make your own, use on a daily basis. You will see in a short time your thoughts on submission will begin to change.

Rules, Rules are meant for self improvement, for the betterment of you the Submissive or slave. Arianna has 25 that I set, but she added a few more of her own to help keep her in check. Every night before bed she reads them, unless directed by me not to. What is more impressive is after a year she can share them aloud and not have to read them. That was her choice not something I demanded.

If you have friends, then you should be allowed to keep them, you should be allowed to see your family, call and text with everyone. You should not have to give out your passwords to any of your accounts. This is an ego problem and it should not be excepted. We all need some privacy and there are parts of our lives that should be left alone. If a Dominant demands your passwords, then he is probably insecure or has a major ego problem.

The training is not hard, and you can enjoy it as well. It will be hard if your heart is not in it. It can be more hard if your with someone your really not happy with. The deeper you get into your training the more submissive you will feel.

You also have to take in mind if there is any type of public training. Again what you will do and will not do, no one wants to go to jail. You also have to think of your career as well, being known, being seen. What you are comfortable wearing in public, again what is except able and what is not. You as the submissive has the right to set the pace of the relationship. You are a submissive not a slave.

Vile

More On Protocol’s

You are probably tired of me talking about protocols. I cannot express enough on how important using protocols during and after training is.

During training you go through what I call mind modification. You are taking someone and molding them to fit your needs. One of the most important things in going forward is the submissive or slave has to be true. They truly want to follow. The other is the Dominant or Master has to stay consistent from day one. If you give out rules you enforce, if you put protocols in place you enforce, and you enforce on a daily basis.

Protocols cover a huge area with in my home. From speech to positions when I feel the need, to how, Arianna acts in public.

Many of the protocols I am going to list I use on a daily, weekly and monthly basis. I still use some of the Slave positions but not on a regular basis, if I feel there is a need. One position that is used daily is Arianna greeting me when I get off work. I walk in the door Arianna is on her knees face down and arms extended. This is something she feels she has to do. This is not only her way of greeting me, but she is showing me how much she appreciates me .

This morning I posted a blog about the Difference between a Dominant and a Master. I ran across a website and found it to be very interesting.  The owner of the site did give permission to use the content as long as I gave credit to the publisher, which I did. There is a ton of information, which I will tap into and share with everyone.

Most of what I will be sharing is about safety which is the most important, but several months ago I posted about BDSM and the Law, again a ton of information. As I have stated before the use of Protocols is a lost Art. In the last ten years or so BDSM has changed so much. Every time we attend an event I cannot believe the total lack of respect from some, and when I bring it up I just get a blank stare like it is me that is not respecting them.

Just as I have stated much of the respect has gone away due to the Pansexual out break which is mentioned below, just that some protocols may not be observed as they are in an M’s relationship

The website that I obtained the information from is

http://www.denversub.com/protocol.html

You may also contact through email if you wish at

denversubmissive@aol.com

 

Remember many of you may already use some of these protocols or you may not. You may find some that you would like to put into place. Enjoy.

 

 

Protocol

Disclaimer:   The following reflects my own training, and will be different than others were trained.   Personal pronouns reflecting male Dominance and female submission should be reversed if appropriate.   Each Dominant will create His own protocols and will most probably not conform to these.   I have presented this information as an example of one protocol, but only one.  “Master” and “slave” were not often used, although in many cases, i feel they would have been more appropriate.

Common Positions

• Stand – Standing with feet shoulder width apart, back straight, head forward and eyes lowered. Hands are most usually clasped behind the back. In public, eyes forward so as not to draw attention to the position. “Present standing” – hands behind neck.

• Kneel – Kneel in place, back straight, ass resting on heels, hands behind back, head bowed and eyes down. In public, she kneels in such a way as not not draw attention to herself, as if no chair were available.

• Kneel up – Kneeling, knees shoulder width apart, back straight, head forward and eyes lowered. Hands are most usually clasped behind the back. “Present kneeling” would move hands behind the neck.

• Kneel down – Kneeling, knees shoulder width apart with toes touching, forehead on the ground, cushioned by hands.

• Present – Making the body available to the Dominant in a pre-arranged way. The Dominant generally points to a piece of furniture (meaning present bending over it) or to the floor (meaning present in a kneel down position). “Present on your back” would tell the submissive to lie on her back with knees up and legs spread wide, hands above the head. If standing, the submissive stands, feet shoulder width apart, back straight, hands behind back, left wrist in right hand, head bowed and eyes down.

• Rest – The submissive assumes whatever resting posture the Dominant prefers. This is commonly a sitting or kneeling position that the submissive is able to maintain for long periods of time.

• Serve – food or beverage is served with the right knee down, left leg bent, left elbow on left knee, right elbow in left palm, serving from the right hand.

• Inspection –the submissive goes to the center of the room and stands facing away from the door, or away from her Dominant if He is in the room.   She spreads her legs as far apart as is possible while maintaining good balance, places her hands behind her neck and keeps her head straight and eyes forward.

Protocol Shifts

The protocols contained here are for Mid Protocol interactions, in places where it will not draw undue or unwelcome attention to the uniqueness of the Dominant/submissive relationship.

Low Protocol should be used when in the presence of vanilla observers.   During this time:

• The submissive will refer to her Dominant as “Sir” when possible, and by His given name if Sir seems inappropriate for some reason.

• The submissive will not kneel unless ordered to do so, but may sit on the floor if it would not draw attention.

• If the submissive uses furniture, she will do so by sitting as close to her Dominant as possible and making her body accessible to Him as much as possible.

• The submissive may serve her Dominant as a waitress might, rather than from a kneeling position.

• Mid Protocols are in place wherever possible, but should be acted on with as much discretion as is possible.

High Protocol – will be used at her Dominant’s discretion and will be put into place by a prearranged signal or word from her Dominant at any time.

• The submissive positions herself slightly behind her Dominant on His dominant side (unless given orders to the contrary) and remains there unless ordered otherwise.   If ordered to stand or kneel elsewhere, she keeps her head bowed and eyes down, only keeping her Dominant in her peripheral view, so as to be able to respond immediately if He summons her.   She may adjust her location only to keep Him in her line of site.

• If approached in conversation, she will only say, “Forgive me Sir/Ma’am, I am forbidden to speak. My Master is standing/sitting there” and indicate His location.

• The submissive will always use as few words as possible to respond when given permission to do so and will begin and end each sentence with “Sir”.

• The submissive performs any service quietly and efficiently, drawing as little attention to her service as possible.

In Old Guard settings, submissives traditionally wear black or white t-shirts, jeans or leather shorts, white socks if any, black boots (laced right over left) or other black shoes.

A submissive wishing to be recognized by a Dominant, or group will stand about three feet away, just outside the circle of conversation, assume standing “public present” position and wait to be recognized.   Only then will they approach and speak.   A submissive who has greeted a Dominant in this manner will normally wait to be dismissed before leaving, or if she is expected back quickly, will explain, “Forgive me Sir, i am expected back” and wait for dismissal.   A bow of the head to show respect is proper.   Backing a few steps away before turning is also proper.

A submissive should not speak to another submissive who is in the company of her Dominant without permission to do so.   This is not well observed in pansexual circles.   The proper respect is to gain recognition, greet the Dominant and ask if she might greet his submissive.   Dominants do not usually acknowledge the submissive of another Dominant unless they have a prior acquaintance with her.   Dominants may or my not introduce their submissives, as pleases them and the circumstance.   If they do introduce them, it is usually by first name only.

Chain collars are indicative of Master/slave relationships while leather collars are more common for D/s relationships.   Pet tags may indicate pet status.   Flagging is still common in gay communities, left for Dominant or Top, right for submissive or bottom.   Colors are plentiful; there is a legend on my information page, if you are interested.   Most commonly seen are black (Sm top or bottom), mustard (hung 8″+ or wants one), orange (anything goes), hunter green (daddy/boy), and most recently black/white checked (safe sex).

Speech

Honorifics should be used as such, not as names.   As a rule, a Dominant whose scene name, for instance is “Master Greg”, would be introduced by that entire name, but would be called “Greg” by other Dominants, “Master Greg” or “Sir” by other submissives, and “Master” only by his own submissive.   A Dominant introducing his submissive to this Dominant would introduce him as “Master Greg” so that the submissive would have the correct information.

Dominants will specify the way in which their submissives will address them, such as “Sir”, “M’Lord” or “Master”.   Honorifics can be as complex as the Dominant wishes, and many times are structured in complex ways to test the submissive and keep her on her toes.   They may or may not include a name or a scene name.   Occasionally, a Dominant will have his submissive call him by a given name, because it is difficult for most trained submissives not to use “Sir” and they use it as an exercise in obedience.   This is often mistaken for disrespect, however, and is therefore rare.

The term “voice trained” is often used to describe a submissive who has been trained to speak only when spoken to and to not betray her preferences in her answers.   A variation includes Dominants who have their submissives say “If it pleases you Sir” when they are in agreement and “Only if it pleases you Sir” to indicate the opposite view.   They believe that this gives the appearance of neutrality while giving the Dominant information about the preference.   I personally disagree with this practice and deem it game playing.

High Protocol parties in Denver generally include a rule that submissives do not speak without permission.   Permission is gained by a pre-determined signal.   In discussions, submissives do not participate.   They may speak only to their own Dominants.   House protocols never take priority over personal protocols.

Food and Drink Service

A hostess submissive will serve her Dominant first, the Master of the House second and other Dominants as is convenient to the setting.   She will then serve the Master of the House’s submissive, and then the other submissives in as close to the same order as their Dominants were served.

A submissive being served will either 1) accept food and drink on behalf of their Dominant and serve him themselves, or 2) wait quietly while he is served.

In a vanilla setting such as a restaurant, the submissive will not eat or drink until their Dominant has done so.   Dominants will normally defer to the host in like manner.   When the Dominant is finished eating, the submissive stops unless signaled by her Dominant to finish her meal.

For a more in-depth discussion of Formal Dinner Service, click here

Other Service

A Dominant will not request service of an accompanied submissive without first asking her Dominant to allow it.   An unattended submissive may be requested to provide simple service, or fetch and carry at will, unless she is in a non-communicative protocol.

Service should be carried out as quickly, quietly and seamlessly as possible.   Service that draws attention to itself is in bad taste.

Personal Service

Personal service is normally reserved for one’s Dominant, unless offered to another by one’s Dominant.   A Dominant that requests personal service without consulting one’s Dominant may be told, “I’m sorry Sir, that is not allowed” and referred to the submissive’s Dominant for further discussion.

Master’s Responsibility

The Master is responsible for setting the Protocol level and any individual protocols that He desires.   But, He has another important responsibility; that of protecting His slave.   He should constantly be aware of her.   If she is approached by someone that she doesn’t have permission to interract with, she should be given a specific way to handle the situation.   In Old Guard trained slaves, you will most often hear “Forgive me Sir.   i am not permitted to speak.   My Master **** stands there.   In many current protocols, the slave will be instructed to simply look down at the floor and ignore the contact completely.   In this instance, the Master must be extremely aware and ready to intervene as soon as He observes this reaction.

Another common instruction that a slave may be given an instruction that she should come up into a formal present posture in order to get her Master’s attention (in order to make a request or ask to speak).   If this is the case, He must see it and respond.

Is Old Guard Real ?

Many of the new today will argue that Old Guard is just a Myth, it never was and never will be. When in fact I do believe and have spoken to elders who were a part of Old Guard, in the late 60’s through the early 80’s

Old Guard refers to the leather community mainly the gay community. I myself am not into the leather scene, nor am I a part of any leather family since most have blown the protocol way out of text. In my eyes a lack of respect of what use to be.

Most of the Leather Family’s today are known as pansexual , you can google that. Unlike Old Guard, today’s Leather family’s welcome most anyone, without even really knowing anything about them. In the Old Guard days there were strict rules and Protocols to be followed. The Old Guard was a closed community and you had to become a member. Before membership was allowed one had to learn all rules and protocols and follow them, if not you got the boot.

Over the years we have strayed, we have lost the meaning of BDSM and it has falling more into just a kink, a past time, weekend warriors, bedroom only. Which is okay but the problem is everyone is right, no one is wrong. When someone hears how a slave or submissive lives they are just blown away and cannot believe they would allow someone to treat them a certain way.

It is not that a slave or submissive in today’s times are part of or believe in Old Guard, they just fall into their Dominants ways of doing things. Being strict, having rules, even protocols both public and private is perfectly okay, when there is no physical or mental abuse involved.

It is not that we take the lifestyle differently some are just more serious than others when it comes to the world of D’s and M’s. How Master Joe runs his house is on him, I do not and will not judge.

Back in the day a Dominant had to make his way through the ranks, there were steps that had to be taking. If a submissive or bottom had more experience than the Dom the sub out ranked the Dom, yea sounds weird. The problem is today’s Dominants want to start out as president they are right and everyone else is wrong.

Unlike today back in the Old Leather Guard there were dress codes, and they were enforced. Arianna and I have attended some local groups and I cannot believe they way some of the sub/slaves come dressed, more so the way their master allows them out of the house. Arianna has pointed out how mouthy some are, how she cannot believe how some disrespect their Doms.

Today it would be almost impossible to put together an exclusive group for meetings or teachings because of how BDSM  has branched out. Most groups come and go because of a dictatorship or just huge egos. Most people today are close minded when it comes to how others live as well

Old Guard when in a social setting it was the Dominant with the most experience who led the conversation, on the other side if the bottom had more experience they led the conversation, if equal the Dom was giving the go ahead.

When walking the submissive walked one or two steps behind, remember you are not equal in a sense. A Dominant would never think of hugging or shaking the hand of a submissive, nor would the submissive make direct eye contact, though the Dominant would. A Dominant would never think of touching another who was owned and collard, there was a respect thing.

Protocols is a lost art today, but what I expect if out in public a Dominant or Submissive should not assume anything. A Dominant should not just walk up to a submissive and strike up a conversation, they same with a submissive. It is however proper and okay to ask. Some couples have no protocols at all, nor do they wish to, this is where the lack of respect comes into play when it comes to what others believe. I have had people say they could never live like Arianna nor would they want to. What we have as a Master and Slave is very unique and special.

Old Guard when a Dominant was being served there were two ways, one palm out and flat drink on palm, the other the sub would kneel head down and arms extended making the offering. Depending on the protocol the sub could either leave or had to ask permission.

Those who play on the internet who belong to sites such as Collarme.com Alt.com BDSM.com and so on generally stay on those sites with very little real in person interaction, those who get lucky enough to find a submissive or Slave generally fuck it up because they have no real clue what a in person interaction is. It does not take long for the Submissive to realize they have been played. The so called Dominant will generally put the blame of the submissive when it comes to the relationship not working.

When I speak about myself at times I mention old school, and not old guard. Old School just means I hold certain values when it comes to the lifestyle, I give and expect respect. I set my life to a certain standard as I do with my Slave. I expect when out my slave is giving the up most respect and she will do the same in return.

So in closing I think we should all get back to the basics when it comes to the lifestyle. Yes we do need rules, yes we do need guidelines, yes we do need dress codes, yes we do need protocols. More so we do need to respect others.

Coming in at the top of those who truly live the lifestyle with the fullest respect are those of the Gorean lifestyle. If you should ever have the honor of meeting a Gorean Master or Slave you would be truly amazed. Old Leather Guard probably not since the lifestyle is based on a line of books, but the lifestyle is very strict and respected by many. I am not saying everyone should live the Gorean way, but if you study up on it, it will give you a way different out look and perspective of their lifestyle.

We should all come together as one, and set standards, keep the lifestyle proud, keep the fakers out. It could be done.

Vile

Is Old Leather Guard Just A Myth ?

Arianna and I attended a New Munch yesterday, in hopes of finding a permanent group, both of us were really disappointed. Although the people were really nice and welcomed us with open arms, it is just not what we are looking for. We may give it another chance but I truly doubt it. The munchs we attend are solely for Arianna. I myself believe it is very important for ones slave to interact with others alike. I also believe it is very important for the Master or Owner to insure there is growth within the relationship. Just my opinion.

Every time we have left an event Arianna has made the comment. I cannot believe the way the other slaves acted, or the way they talked back to their Master. Well she is correct, I go back to what I call Old Guard. There was Honor, Respect, and yes again Protocol.

Although I am a smoker, there was never smoking allowed in a Dungeon , or drinking before play. Most of all a Slave would never make rude comments to her Master even jokingly.

Arianna is always dressed very nice. A comment was made from another submissive we had met, on how good Arianna always looked. This is the truth, I dress her. I tell her what to wear, how I want her hair, and makeup, and what shoes to wear.

Last month we left a munch and another Dominant made the comment, maybe I should just find a slave I could dehumanize. Wow really I knew the comment was made towards me. While I did not take offense to the comment, I found it to be somewhat expected coming from him.

Okay maybe just maybe I am somewhat unorthodox , in the way I believe a house should be ran, maybe I am a little to strict, maybe I expect my slave to excel, no matter what she is doing. Maybe I do control every movement, right down to what she eats and how much. Maybe just maybe sex is on my terms. Last night I allowed her to come, I am guessing it had been a little over two weeks. I made her masturbate while giving me head. I could tell she was in heat, so I allowed her to get on top. It took her all of thirty seconds to cum. Then afterwards I heard a very soft , Thank You.

Old Leather Guard started off within the Gay community in the early seventy’s and quickly spread through out the community. Why? the respect, honor and protocol.

I would also like to say I am not a suck my cock Dominant, my cock does not run my life, although Arianna does have awesome skills when it comes to oral. Getting my cock sucked is not my only thought.

The truth is, it is about me, and only me, and I will explain. Being a Dominant is not just a game. A male cannot wake up one morning and say I am a master, or just because you are in a D’s relationship does not make you a master. If your a master and your with a submissive or slave and your her first dominant or she thinks your a dominant , but your just using her to get your rocks off, eh not so much of one.

The care that goes into owning a slave is a great responsibility, my day does not end until after I have tucked Arianna into bed for the night. The last thing she does before going to sleep is the reading of my rules. Then I can relax for the night. That is my down time kick my feet up, and maybe watch a little TV. In the morning I wake , I turn the coffee pot on, my cup and the bowl of sugar is sitting next to the pot.  Once Arianna wakes she makes the request to get up. I then make her a cup of coffee and we set and we talk, about her dreams or we plan out the day. I keep Arianna busy with small task through out the day as well.

Today everyone is more interested in getting what someone else has. I have been asked numerous times if I share, and the answer is no I do not share, nor will I ever. What is mine is just that mine.

Where is the respect factor when it comes to other Dominants. Okay so Dominants my age are a breed who is slowly dieing out. I have been turned away from munchs by a twenty year old Dom because I was to old for the group. Again where is the respect. It is not like I was showing up for a piece of ass. Where is the protocol? All of the above is gone right out of the window.

Okay your a twenty year old Dominant a master. What are you a master of. What could you of possibly learned in such a short period that has taking me twenty years to learn, and the truth is I am still learning. Everyday I learn something new. To be turned away by a twenty year old, WOW.

Am I unorthodox in my way of thinking. I will tell you the answer is no. I will say this I have gone through a line of subs and so called slaves to find the right connection. The right Slave who could fit my needs. See yes in the end it is about me.

Old Leather Guard. At one time Dominants were very close, Masters and Owners. Information was passed along , great conversation, even a warning list of fake dominants. There was no criticizing on how another dom did not know what he was doing. After all we each have our own way of training. At one time Dominants really got along. Respect to this day you will hear me address an older Dominant as Sir. I am not submitting I am being respectful.

Am I unorthodox ? When I met Arianna she handed me a book, the book was about her. She told me to write another one, she wanted everything erased. The book would be based on how I see a slave. So I grabbed an eraser , and I began to edit Arianna. The process only takes about a month. This is just a start, you begin by taking old habits away and introducing new ones. This cannot be done if you are not 24/7 or you do not see someone on a daily basis.

First and foremost the Slave not only has to be true, but willing. The slave has to truly want the change. It is like I have tried it on my own and it does not work, so here I am.

I run an old Leather Guard style home. To most I am to strict. Arianna has no say so in anything. There is one exception here and only one, and I have made this perfectly clear. If Arianna sees that I am about to make a mistake, which is unlikely to happen, but in the event of me making a mistake, Arianna does have to right to voice her opinion. At that time it is up to me to listen to her. I do value her opinion.

Our relationship is based on respect, our relationship is based on the truth, and nothing but the truth. Our relationship is based on communication. Our relationship is based on the desire to make the relationship work.

Do I get tired? Sure I do mentally tired, not overwhelmed though because I do enjoy the lifestyle and the relationship I am in.

So we are talking a month to get the basics down. I am not talking about handing out a handful of rules that will cause a crash. The first thirty days tells everything, will the slave be able to stick it out or will she run for cover, and find another dominant who is not so strict, or one who does not expect so much.

I have been asked if the Old Leather Guard is real. My answer would be yes, although there are many who would disagree.

If the Master truly cares for his. He will take the time out to teach his way. If the Master truly cares he will listen, he will find the slaves needs. He will care about the slaves emotions. He will want to hold her, and talk and listen.

The rewards at the end of the rainbow are truly there, it is a lot of work but it is there.

Vile

Do you as a Submissive or Slave Please To Much

This really happens a lot, more so when a submissive or slave is just entering their first relationship. It is almost like a craving, a drug, but it can be a bad drug.

Just entering the lifestyle a sub/slave will take just about anything that is thrown their way. Lack of communication, being yelled at, humiliated, and even told you are to take pain. Told how to dress, send pictures, video, nude on the webcam.  The last three I not only find childish, but really meaningless. During a session, when Tish is blindfolded I will take a few pics to show her what she looked like, then I delete. I do not save one for myself.

The first thing a lot of Dominants want to do is drop a ton of rules on you, making you feel overwhelmed and stressed. The rules, it took me about a week to implement any rules when it came to Tish. Number one I did not know her, number two I did not know what her needs were, and the type of structure she was needing.

The rules should not be of a sexual nature, I sent Tish 25 total rules, and I believe one was about masturbation, that is only because I like to watch, but none of the rules were based on sex.

Pain. All subs or slaves are not wired the same. Never let anyone tell you that you can be trained to take pain. I find that to be the biggest load of fucking horse shit in the world. I was with sherry for almost seven year, a true masochist, a masochist like I have ever known.  To this day I still cannot figure out what made her clock tick. At times when I would leave her house or her mine, I would be scared from all the bruising, and marks. On the other side of the story she would not of been happy in a regular D’s relationship, the pain was a release for her . A slave told me not long ago Her Dominant had her watch an S&M video, and the slave was laughing as he was hitting her. The thing is he was not really hitting her that hard, and she probably made 3K for the day.  If you are not into pain, then make it clear you are not, nor will you stand for it. You do not have to take anything just to please, if you are told that, I would reevaluate the situation.

I do love sex, as a matter of fact I am more of a pleaser when it comes to any type of sexual contact, although there will be times when it is just about me. For the most though, I make sure my slave reaches that point before I do. If you start your relationship out based on sex that is all you have. You are lucky if what you think you have will last a year.

Being told what to wear, wow I remember when I was in my mid twenty’s. She had to wear a short skirt with no panties. Yea I was thinking with my dick. Today I am much different, although 99% of the time I choose the clothes, I do not dress Tish like a slut, pretty much covered, and is seldom nude at home, or even sleeping. While in bed it just depends on my mood. Going to a munch I may have her wear a skirt, but nothing that will make her feel ashamed or out of place. We as Dominants have to grow up sometime.

I control the house, what to eat how much, bath time, and even bed time. I want to make this clear though, everything I named off is what Tish told me her needs were. I made an agreement, so the key now is for me to stay Consistent, if I ever lose that grip, it is almost impossible to regain control.

One thing I try to explain about a new relationship, when asked what is it like? How will our relationship be? My answer is everything will fall into place like dominoes , if the two of you click, it just happens.

When I am talking about rules or protocol, I go over everything, then I retract and go over each one and explain in detail, once I am fished, I ask if she has any questions. Tish told me know because I explained everything step by step.

You as a submissive or slave do not need 128 rules, out of the 25 I gave Tish probably only five or six were actual rules the rest were guidelines. I did not tell her she had to memorize each one. I told her to look at them at least once daily. The other day she forgot, so she got to stand in the corner and read them off to me. Then I sat her down and asked her to tell me which one really stuck out in her mind.

If you are not wired for pain, you do not have to take it. If you are not wired for humiliation, you do not have to take it. If you feel uncomfortable about how your Dom wants you to dress you have the right to question.

Okay so I do not know everything, this is true. While it is true I make all the decisions in our everyday life, I do from time to time make mistakes. I explained this to Tish as well, I want her to speak up, I want to hear her ideas. I am not that close minded, she may have a better or faster way of doing things.

I am a huge advocate when it comes to abuse, mental, physical, what ever the case. It makes me sick when two are in a long distance relationship, or my ball breaker someone who is married.To tell his sub or slave he was to busy to text, call, or drop an email. If your dominant tells you this, well you can see how far up the list your rank. A submissive or slave is number one and always should be.

After my post yesterday not one married Dominant made a comment, so I see where the back bone lays. I had very few comments, so I guess I hit a nerve with a lot of people.

There have been a few who have emailed Tish, she is somewhat shy but will answer, she just ask that nothing be posted on her blog, due to the nature of her blog and followers.

Do not take more than you can handle, you will not get use to it, nor can you be trained to accept pain and enjoy it.

Vile

Are You Really Submissive ? Are You Really Ready ?

Being a submissive or slave is not an easy task. Just as being a Dominant, one thinks a Dominant is someone who just barks orders and gets his cock sucked on demand. That is not the case. Being a Dominant or submissive runs much deeper. The truth is, it really takes two very special people, who are dedicated to the lifestyle.

Both in the relationship have needs, these needs are to be met on a daily basis.First comes communication, both expressing ones needs. Then comes the agreement, this allows things to move forward. Then you begin laying the foundation, the training, the structure, remolding, rules or guidelines which ever you prefer.

I recently had a slave come to me, this is the truth. She wanted like a mini boot camp, and I agreed. She agreed to stay with me, then she got sick once settled in, she had a cough before arriving. Well the second, and third day she was running a fever, so I let her rest. Well I did not meet her expectations. I was not going to do anything while she did not feel well. So the process came to an abrupt end.

It is the submissive or slave who picks her Dominant, not the other way around. So she is calling the shots until both have come to an agreement.

A couple of months ago I posted on a topic about slave positions I received a lot of bad feed back, because most thought they were not necessary, not needed. To each their own, but yes they are needed, maybe not all but there are a few I use on a daily basis.

There are exceptions , one as we grow older, we are not able to bend or sit as we did when younger. Hip replacements, bad knees. If that is the case things can be changed up.

Discipline plays a huge role with in the D’s relationship. I am not speaking about punishment, spanking or corner time. I am speaking about Self-Discipline, the want and the need to become a collard submissive or slave. The first month will tell everything.If your Dominant is true, and consistent. Consistency with your new Dominant is very important. You expect him to be just what he told you

Lets take sex out of the equation forget about it for now. Because if you fuck or suck cock on the first meet, that is what your relationship is based on. SEX. Nothing more. A Dominant would never expect sex on the first meet, nor the second or third. You have to take the steps to get to know each other. You have to become friends. You the submissive should have a million question. If some of the answers are not clear, ask to clarify , make sure you understand the answer. Do not be afraid to ask. Most will just shrug it off and move onto the next question.

I am me, I am not going to change or bend for anyone. I am not going to change or bend my guidelines, my protocol, or my expectations. I make this perfectly clear from the start. I have a list I present to one, I hand it over with a pen, as one reads each topic is checked, this is the time to ask questions. If something on the list bothers you, or you feel like you cannot comply with something. The conversation is over. You have made a new friend. If I change or bend, I am no longer me. If you change or bend you are no longer you.

I will ask in depth question some very personal. Medication, health problems. Have you ever been on the most wanted list? What are you looking for? What do you expect to get out of the relationship? How far do you want to take your submission? What is your temperament like? Your work history? You get the picture. So in a matter of an hour, I know more about you than most of your friends, and in most cases your family.

Self Discipline, many do not have the ability or the want. This is the ice breaker. I as a Dominant am going to put you through many changes, from the way you dress, walk, eat, speak, and in some cases your hair, your makeup if you wear. Most of the time I prefer my slave to be fully covered, this included arms , to the neck line, and legs. Her body is for my eyes only. Now if we are going to an event, such as a munch, or a Dungeon, I may pick something to fit the event.

I speak about protocol often, many disagree with me on this subject, but I come from old school, and again I am not going to change. Protocol falls under Self- Discipline, you have to have the want and need to follow. The slave positions to me are very important, this keeps you in the submissive frame of mind. There is noway someone could use every position on a daily basis. You would spend your whole day directing orders. Again you have to be willing to give up control, and let someone fully mold you to fit ones needs.

Everything a Dominant shares with you or teaches you. In time you will use something he has taught you in your normal everyday life.

The relationship is about positive reinforcement having the ability to praise no matter how small the task was. Telling one how much they are appreciated goes a very long way.

You also have to have the ability to be best friends, you cannot live master and slave 24/7. Although I have been told by a slave she did not want anything to do with a vanilla life. This could be achieved but it would take time, it will not happen over night.

Married couples most of the above does not apply. Most are only Dom and sub in the bedroom. Once they open the door all is forgotten. In many ways this spices things up for them, like a release, just being able to let go. I believe there are a few couples on here who live such a life, if it works, and you both found your middle ground, that is awesome.

While in what we call training, the submissive is totally focused on one thing her new Dominant. She looks up to him, admires him. The sub or slaves thinks he can do no wrong.He is in full control, of not only himself , but his property. The only thing that can change this, is if she sees behavior she does not agree with, losing his temper, acting childish is a huge killer, not being consistent. Maybe taking advantage of his authority in front of others.

Many find once in a relationship, that BDSM is really not their bag of tea, it was more of a fantasy. The truth is there are really very few true Dominants and submissive’s or slaves. Then it just falls into kink, which is fine if that is the type of relationship you want, but chances are one or the other is going to be displeased.

After you have been giving or told what the new Dominant expects, take sometime to think. Your not going to give your answer right then. Take a week or two. Think about every step the Dom has explained.

If you find somethings you have problems with or maybe something you do not wish to do, meet, talk , and see if he may be willing to adjust a little, maybe there is another way. You have to speak up, communication.

Are You Really Submissive ? Are You Really Ready ?

Vile

Finding The Perfect Submissive Or Slave

Every Dominant is different, just as every Submissive or Slave. Some Dominants and Subs are only Bedroom, while others prefer living the lifestyle in and out of the bedroom. The key is meeting your Submissive’s or Slaves need, while it is true, for the most it is about me, your partner also has needs as well.

I met a Dominant at a Munch a couple of years ago in Daytona Beach, he ran and S & M camp in Ocala , while I was invited to visit, I have never made it out that way, and really have no desire to. Now I am not saying he was not telling me the truth, but from the way he explained things, I am a pretty mild Dominant.

Him and I got into a pretty heated argument, I cannot recall the topic of the conversation, but he made the remark that eating pussy was the most submissive thing a man could do. What are you fucking insane? I myself find it the other way around, besides anal sex. To have a woman tied down spread eagle, and going down on her, would put her in that submissive state of mind, basically you can pretty much do anything you want.

I receive a lot of emails on a daily basis, some I get to right away, and some it takes a couple of days, but one that has stuck in my mind, a submissive ask, do you not get bored in a relationship, or does a Dominant not get bored.

While my search is been long it has not been in vain. Many times we settle for less than what we are looking for, I believe it is human nature, because we have that need to be with someone, to have a partner, but these relationships seldom last, Be it a D’s relationship or Vanilla. The problem is once we settle for less than what our needs are, the relationship is already set to fail from the beginning.

So a couple of years ago I made a list, of what I was looking for in a slave, what my needs, and wants were, and I was not going to settle for less, if I did I knew I would only be happy for a short time, and the relationship would not be fair for either.

I have met slaves that I was interested in, and were more than willing, even though my ways were really not what they were looking for, just to be in a relationship, and have a partner, security. This would not of been fair, in my eyes in someways abuse.

Sometime ago I was speaking with a someone who would not attend local events with me, well the possibility of a relationship was already out of the question, or I do not do anal, or I do not swallow, why bend and settle, in the end your not going to be happy.

So the question was does a Dom not get bored. A Dominant molds the sub or slave to fit his needs I have covered this before, When one ask what would you like for dinner, the submissive does not want to hear it does not matter, or you do not care. Instead she wants to hear exactly what you want, and how you want it cooked, from my experience anyway.

The training process is slow and on going, you cannot just drop a book and tell someone to read the book in a day, and there will be a quiz on Friday. A good dominant can train without the sub or slave even knowing, this is done by just planting a seed or a thought, every now and then just add a little water and watch her grow. If one makes to many demands or expects to much the dominant is setting his up for failure. Thus bringing on Sub-Drop, which can last for a couple of hours or days. We as Dominants have brought this on, Sub-Drop can be prevented, with proper care. A submissive or slave requires a lot of attention, while in play or not, much more than say a vanilla. A sub or slaves has the need to know they are there for a purpose.

So my getting bored, once the training begins, you are molding the sub to fit your needs sexual and no-sexual. They go through a Hmm reprogramming process, like installing a new windows in your computer.

With me and most disagree protocol is one of the first things I work on, then a few positions. Positions are a good source of training, but are not meant to be used in everyday life. The positions are meant to put yours in that frame of mind

I never spank as a form of punishment, so a form of punishment maybe a position for an hour or so, my favorite is the inspection position. The slave is on all fours head down, she reaches around and places her hands on her ass cheeks and spreads everything wide. I may leave her there for a half hour to an hour. Maybe have one stand in a corner for an hour or so. Spanking is not always the answer. If a sub or slave breaks a rule, you want to give them time to think, about the mistake, let it sink in. A spanking is done and over with, while it may hurt for that time it passes quickly. Also if you just use spanking as a punishment they already know what to expect, then some even look forward to the punishment. So being able to change things up, will keep one wondering.

A Submissive or Slave will only in most cases break a rule, when they are not receiving, the attention they feel they should be getting. I have found one will take a beating just to get noticed, or attention.

Every Dominant has different positions and different names, as well as uses. Every Dominant has different protocol if any at all, or rules, if any at all. Most Subs or slaves need some type of structure in their lives, rules guidelines. If these are not put into play, then they will feel as if they have no purpose.

Even when it comes to sex, the dominant has certain needs and wants, You think you can give good head, well I will train you how I like head, even sex, what I enjoy and how. This does not mean that the subs or slaves needs are not met, but the bottom line it is about me. She has chosen to submit, understanding my needs and wants, my rules, my guidelines. This has been done by choice.

A couple of yrs ago I had been chatting with a slave, eh maybe a couple of months, and one morning she just showed up at my door, car and trailer. Well I just could not put her out , so lets give it a chance.

First thing she was over weight, in six months she lost 50lbs, she was very compliant, but then came the day when she sat me down, and wanted me to change my play, not be as rough, take it easy.

I sit looking dumb founded, I just starred, because everything was laid out on the table prior to moving, which I knew nothing about in the first place.

I am not going to change for anyone I am me. Trained she wore what I wanted, the meals were made out for the week on sunday night, when laundry was to be done. In the am she would bring me a cup of coffee, and perform oral sex while I watched the news. While in the house, clothes were only allowed when company was over, and panties during that time of the month. She followed rules to a T, protocol, met my needs in anyway, but then wanted me to change. Even spoke to others about talking to me to see if there might be a way to convince me to change.

Now I was no longer a Dominant I was a dick, I was being un-fair, I was inconsiderate, I did not care. Well you know I could live with that.

So although I do speak my mind, I do have a soft heart at times, I am not a total dick, so instead of telling her to leave, in came the almighty Mind Fuck. Which by the way almost ruined me , in the local community, because I abused her, I was not in control. I am lucky to have the friends I do, and those who knew me well enough to know I have or would never hurt someone. I admit I did scare her pretty bad, but I accomplished what I needed to.

I have been told my needs and wants are unrealistic, I am not fair. The thing is no one can force a sub or slave to submit, nor can I demand you respect me. Respect is earned, and if you the Dominant are not who you say you are, it may take sometime for someone new to figure it out but they will.

Being a dominant is not easy. We imagine a large circle, within the circle we are in control of everything, our home our submissive or slave, our surroundings, our emotions, our temper, and our actions. We set the example , we set the state of mind of ours. We train, and  all of the above has to be kept in place, we as dominants have to keep everything in an organized order. Many time we have no one we can turn to we we need advice. So we spend much time in thought. No it is not easy..

Vile

A Slaves Dress Protocol

I was going to drive over to Tampa yesterday to a friend of mines house, and take his boat out to do some deep sea fishing, which use to be my boat. I gave him a Grady White a couple of years ago. I had no place to keep it, and it got to where I only used it 2 or 3 times a year.

He has been in the lifestyle for about 15 years. Him and his slave are Gorean, which I have just began to do a lot of research on and asking question, I admire their protocol. His father became ill and he had to fly out to Texas, so maybe another time.

Another Dom and his slave stopped by, just dropped in, which really gets on my nerves, you just don’t show up at someones house, unannounced I really find it to be rude. Anyway, so I made some fresh coffee, yes Costa Rican, and we were just shooting the shit about nothing really.

The one thing I noticed from the start was the way his slave was dressed. Now she is a big woman, and there is nothing wrong with that, because you can be a BBW as they call it and still be very beautiful, it is all about how you carry yourself.

Animel knows protocol is a big pet peeve of mine, and yes that his his real name Animel. So right off the bat he explains they just left the beach, making excuses for the way his slave was dressed. Which I knew he was lying because I know he is not going to walk that far. He had a quad bypass a couple of years ago, and I moved in with him to take care of. So I know him.

If you are a Master, or a Dominant, it is your responsibility to take care of your submissive or slave, if she is over weight you fix it, needs new clothes you fix it. She is your responsibility and no one Else’s, no ones.

I myself am a jeans guy, some of my jeans are pretty old, but they are just broke in, I like to be comfortable. My slave always looks better than I do. I want her to feel good about herself, positive reinforcement is very important to me.

The BDSM community is a close family, you run into people all the time be it shopping or eating out, once your active , you see people all the time.

Your submissive or slave is a direct reflection of you the owner, how she acts in public or private, how she dresses in public. Private I am more lax unless I just want her to dress up for me. The fact is she is a reflection of you, a reflection of your training, your protocol. Others do take notice, and observe, and yes they talk, believe me there is no lack of gossip, not that I really care.

When your out at a function or an event people can tell how much time you have spent with your slave, the time you spent training, and teaching proper protocol.

So Animel and his slave show up, animel dress’s like animel no changing him. His slave is a little over weight, but very pretty. The first thing I look at on a woman is her feet, I do not have a foot fetish, but you can tell a lot about a woman by her feet. They do not have to be painted, but taking care of. If you are going to paint, then do not show up with half of the nail polish gone and chipping. The second thing I look at is her hands, hands are very important to me, then last but not least her eye brows.

Animel and his slave show up, she is wear flip flops, and her pussy looks like they are eating her shorts. and her T shirt had some holes in it. I could tell she had makeup on from the day before. It was just a shame, shame on him not her.

I forget who made the comment the other day he said I rule with an iron fist and I believe he said he rules with a rose. We are all different, we all have different expectations , rules, guidelines, and protocol.different wants and needs.

In the end it is about ours, we want our slave or submissive to be the best they can be. We as dominants should want ours to excel in life, we should encourage, and give advice.

A lot of times we as Dominants become to comfortable in a relationship, we become to lax. If you put rules , guidelines and protocol in place, you have to be consistent on a daily basis. If you change or let your feeling get in the way, your submissive will lose respect, and no matter how much she loves you. You are no longer what she needs….

So you as the dominant are responsible, stand up and be who you are. I am not sure about everyone else, but when out I want other people to take notice of my lady. I want them to look and go WOW.

So it is your call.

.

Vile