It’s Not About The Pussy

In my home I am the President , Governor , Mayor , Judge and Jury. I am about the control. In my relationship I do not want a quarter of the pie, I don’t want half or even three quarters, I want the pie and the ice cream , because if you are getting less that the whole pie you are not getting the full experience.

I want to stand alone , I want to be different, I wanted to be someone my slave had never experienced.

Sitting back and looking at the progress, changing someone for the better, changing someones thought process, changing habits, training. Training someone to fit your needs. Training one to drop to their knees on command, or to spread on command, with either a voice command or a simple hand gesture.  It is about the control, the ability to control ones actions and thoughts, now that is deep.

Now here is the thing, all of the above comes with a huge price tag, the above comes with huge responsibility , and then you have the saying be careful what you ask for, because once you start to unlock all of those door as you open each door the price tag becomes larger.

You get the clingy part, you get the needy , and in most cases you get the bad word codependent part , not always but this is true in most cases.

Submission not only runs on different levels, but it runs deep, and each one is different , each has different needs , but in the end the outcome is the same . You have a submissive who craves to be trained, loved and cared for.

So if your in it just for the pussy , or you want your dick sucked  just ask. If your not in it for the long haul why would you want to try and put all the steps above into place when you have zero intentions of following through? In the end that is way to much work and time to invest just to get some head.

Then you have the other Dominant , the fuck with your head, trying to get over on you, bull shitting his way through a relationship that is never going to happen. You end up sitting all alone waiting on a text or an email, crying wondering what you did wrong…

Then you have the poor me Dominant, the wish I was a better Dom. The Dominant who promises to fix what ever is wrong but really has no intentions of doing anything. The Dominant who cannot keep his temper under control. The Dominant who uses fear and humiliation to keep you in check…. The Dominant who tell you , you are stupid , your nothing without him…

There are two sides to every story, you have to pick the book you want to read. Ive said it many times , life is based on two actions and two actions only, those would be choices and consequences.

The above goes for male and female, Dominant, Master , Domme , Submissive Slave , Baby Girl , Primal , what ever you label yourself. I am not sure about everyone else but my time is very valuable.

I was going through some groups in fetlife , where subs were looking for Dominants, and most of what I read from other Doms was , Man I wish you were closer. In my eye Distance has nothing to do with anything, if your willing to invest the time needed to build a relationship, then distance is not even an issue…. There are however circumstances which would not allow one to relocate, that being a career one makes more money than he other , but if two want a relationship bad enough and you feel you have enough in common someone is going to make that move…

If your training consist of sucking cock or being on your back, getting punished all the time just for the fuck of it, then I would sit back and rethink things out.

I always give new Dominant who are interested in the lifestyle a place to go for good information .. There is a ton of good information here more than you can get from any book on the market..

http://bestslavetraining.com/

Vile

 

 

 

 

Dominants Have Rules And Protocols As Well

Many of the blogs here on wordpress when speaking about Domination and submission are geared towards relationships, the Submissive, the Dominant, the Master, the Slave.

The slave or submissive tells about their life and journeys , The Doms and Masters talk about their lives , their relationships, rules , structure, and some protocols.

We Masters , Dominants and Daddy Doms just as the submissive , Baby Girl, or slave are a direct reflection of our property. We set standards in place for our property to follow, we set rules for private and public, but we have to he held accountable as well, after all our property looks up to us as leaders.

We train ours how to act, how to speak, talk and walk, we impose rules some stricter than others, we control , we guide and we have expectations, and if not followed punishment is in the air.

On a couple of occasions we left a lifestyle function and Arianna said Master there were somethings you said that did not make you look good, or maybe you should of worded that statement different. After thinking about her comment I found it to be true. Okay my bad , I have a habit of saying what is on my mind , but here is the thing if Arianna noticed it so did everyone else, no one ever says anything so if she did not bring it up I would of never thought about it.

I expect Arianna to follow the rules and protocols I have put in place. The rules I put in place were different from past relationships, the protocols , the structure all are different , this is due to her being different , not different in a bad way , but I focused on needs and what I thought would keep her in a better place, and 3 years later it has worked.

We as Dominants and Dommes are watched , our property is watching us, they watch every move and listen to every word. They watch how we interact with others, subs, slaves and Dominants.

We set the example, we want to be followed, we want to lead, in order to achieve all of this we have to set the example. We as Dominants have rules to follow in everyday life, we have rules and protocols when out in public more so at local events.

When a Dominant walks up and introduces himself as Master Porky I just kinda roll my eyes, when this happens you never hear the second word, as you hear is Master. We are all different but when I introduce myself it is hello I am Vile.

I never just walk up and start a conversation with another submissive or slave, this is poor judgement on a Dominants part not knowing if they are owned or not.  The same with social Media , just because I am friends with another Dom it does not give me the right to friend his property, in that case permission is needed.

While it is true I do get nutty at times , I have found it is rather hard to stay serious 24/7.  I love to have fun , I act out at times, I love making people laugh.  Arianna knows this but she also knows when I am serious.

We cannot control someone if we are not in control, we cannot expect someone to respect us if it is not earned.

It is pretty easy controlling someone who does not know any better, it is easy to control someone who does not have a clue…..  It is easy to fuck with someones emotions , feelings or even fucking with their head. One does not care if they are not in it for the long haul.

I have seen many times when a D’s or M’s relationship is in a one way status, the Dominant barking out rules , losing their temper, screaming, but he had no rules or protocols to follow, he was not setting a positive example.

I was reading a conversation on fetlife a Dominant was wanting advice on how to break his bitch. My answer was , why would you want to do such thing? Why do you feel you have the need to break someone ? I got no reply.

Fetlife is full of bashers , hatred , from those who know everything. The truth is any real Dominant would not out another Dominant in a public forum. Again we set the examples , we lead ,  we teach, and train.

I was talking to a slave the other day and she made the statement she did not have to love but she had to be able to respect. That is really deep…

I hope all of you had an awesome Thanksgiving

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Giving Up Control

My favorite new question is , What Are You Going To Do With Your One And Only Life.

 

Giving up control is a huge step, it is a step that should be given much thought , and the one deciding factor is how much control do you want to relinquish.

Once you have decided everything it is time to look for the right Dominant. Dominants come in many different flavors. Some are gentle and not so strict, some are very strict. Some enjoy inflicting pain while others do not, some punish while others do not and yes some even lie and I am going to give a very good example….

Giving up control is no easy task, the one thing you have to look at when speaking with a new Dominant is if your going to be able to comply with his demands, his rules and so on. This is not a decision that should be made at the time you are talking about everything, this is something you should mull over……

When talking to the new Dom you need to know what questions to ask, is he a 24/7 Dominant , or is he just a bedroom Dominant ? Is he just into the pain side of things ? Questions are important because if you do not ask you could find yourself in a bad situation.

Training your Baby Girl your submissive or your slave is actually a form of behavior Modification , I have spoken about this before. Changing ones thought process, habits, dress, talk, walk everything. When I was younger I did not really understand the process , nor did I care I found it to be much more work than I was willing to take part in.

It is possible for a D’s relationship to just fall into place with no formal training at all… You have to find your own fit, your own kink, your needs.

My check list , we all need a check list when we are looking for a partner in the lifestyle, I have spoken about this before. Once you put it on paper it should be LAW.

I did however change my stance on the type of relationship I was willing to enter, but as far as my needs I did not bend.  Arianna explained she needed a Micromanaged relationship, someone who could keep her in check, keep things flowing in the right direction.

Living a D’s or M’s lifestyle is different for each, the definition is different, I get it. Everyone should be happy and be in that place, that comfort zone , the feeling of security.

I am far from insecure but I do need that feeling of security, I need that closeness , the communication, and yes the control. I want to control my world and my surroundings. I keep everything in check.

My list I showed when meeting prospective slaves was not really that long, but to some it was not attainable. When explaining my list if the word NO or I cant came up , it was simple the conversation was over , I refused to bend because if I did I knew down the road I would not be happy..

There were things I was looking for in a slave, there were specific things I was looking for. It really had nothing to do with looks , it had nothing to do with what kind of job they had. It was the person , the personality ,  how sincere they were about the lifestyle , how sincere they felt about who they wanted to be and needed to be. With me personality plays a huge role , if we can talk to each other and not at each other then we are good. How serious they were about their training , how entering a relationship would benefit us both ?

Giving up control is something that happens over time, the more you communicate , spending a great deal of time together, taking the time to learn about each other outside of BDSM . As a submissive the closer you get the more control you are naturally going to give, and this will happen without thought..

The only factor that really comes into play is you giving up control to someone who has your best interest in mind. Someone who is going to dedicate the time to spend with you.

Submission is not a game , to some Dominants submission is a game such as the part time Dominants I spoke about on my last post, the weekend warrior, the married Dom cheating on his wife. It should not be fair when you the submissive are the only one taking part in such a journey.

The game is using you, humiliating you , hurting you physically and mentally , ignoring your needs without a care , and you sit there alone wondering what you did wrong. Your relationship is based on you sucking cock , sending videos, and pictures so the so called Dom can get their rocks off.

I was reading in a forum not long ago about Red Flags, how many red flags do you allow when you first meet a new Dominant? I was surprised at the answers , some were 2 some were3 even up to 5 flags before ending the relationship. My thinking is any type of flag , be it something not adding up or you catch someone in a lie. If someone lies to you once they will do it again.  A flag is a flag.

Another Scenario that takes place , prior to entering a relationship you think everything is flowing in the right direction.. Then you find once you have committed yourself things begin to change. Things are not what they were , now it seems you are in more of a vanilla relationship than a D’s or M’s. and when you question , you get well I am in a slump or everything will be okay.

As you read in the Part Time Dominant , being a Dominant requires a great deal of work, it requires one to be consistent , in control, insuring rules and protocols are being followed.

What do you want to do with your one and only Life ? How long do you wait for the relationship you were promised ? How long do you go along with the communication break down ? How long do you endure the abuse in a relationship? Your scared because that is how you were made to feel, your insecure because that is how you were made to feel, your not good enough for anyone else , because that is how you were made to feel.

Vile

 

 

 

 

Part-time Doms don’t get Full-time submission.

Sometimes I come across something that catches my eye, and what I am going to share turned up on my friends list on Fetlife.  I found the Writing of Master James to be right on.

While my way is not the only way I have touched on many things that most disagree with, when I use the word protocols people laugh, when I use the word consistency most laughed, when I use the word rules most laugh , and that is all good until the relationship fails.

You wake up one morning and now your Christian Fucking Grey like him not having a clue and your super Dom, or King Master you want the title you want to be adored and worshiped but you do not want the responsibility , not really caring what effects your having on someones feelings or emotions, or the lasting effects.

The part time Dom has a on and off switch , but I can promise you the Submissive does not have such a switch. So while you the Dominant are making your demands after a long absents your submissive is faking it just to please you which does not equal submission.

I have also talked about rules having a few in place, you can cause a overload if you pile on the almighty 128 Rules most follow when they have no clue.

I have also talked about how being a Dominant is not a 9 to 5 gig , it is a 24/7 365 gig.  You the part time submissive sitting at home at night watching TV or reading a book while picking up your phone to see if you have received a email or a text , and this can go on for days, weeks and even a month or so.

So looking over my friends feed on Fetlife this title caught my eye and I clicked and started reading. I emailed Master James to see if I could re-post here on my blog and he was more than happy to let me share….

Other controversies aside, what first garnered my modicum of notoriety on this site, was not my social commentary, my love of suits, my satirical humor, my rope, my photos, or my ideological battles with socialist reform zealots……

No, it was D/s. The fact that I audaciously identified as a Master, maintained multiple 24/7 D/s relationships, led a House, and focused my energy on boring stuff like protocol, rather than the fun stuff that looks great in photos and videos.

To this very day, this remains the staple diet of my inbox. Messages flow in, asking a mundane 34 year old stranger from the other side of the planet how to fix the problems in their D/s relationship.

Well, over the years, one issue continues to be a prevalently central element to the problems people face. And after a raft of recent messages from Doms where this issue became apparent. I decided it was time to address it specifically:

It’s the issue of perception. The perception of what a 24/7 D/s relationship is and what it takes. Or alternately, the issue of misconceptions as to what a 24/7 D/s relationship takes.

The majority of messages I get from Doms, start by highlighting issues in their dynamic. And then asking me for tips on training to fix it, and/or protocols to strengthen it. Whist completely missing the root of the problem.

So here’s my Uber-Dom pro tip……..
The secret to the root of 98% of problems in your D/s dynamic, that are caused by you, and stand in the way of you a achieving a functional 24/7 dynamic…..Are you ready for this?

Consistency!

That’s right folks. Consistency and the dedication required to sustain it.

You can research, read blogs, order books off Amazon, go to countless workshops, and write up the most intricate rules, protocols, and punishments. But all the best ‘how-to’ guides and training programs in the world won’t work, if you don’t have the commitment, the dedication, and most of all; the consistency to see them through.

And this is where 99% of D/s relationships fall apart.

Being on the D side of the slash in a 24/7 power exchange dynamic isn’t a part time job, a hobby, a passing interest, or a play thing…. It’s full time. And I don’t mean full-time in the sense of a full-time job. Those in which you do your 8 hours and you knock off and go home.
When we say 24/7, we actually mean 24/7. It isn’t just a catchy title. There are no knock-off times, overtime pay, weekends, sick days, public holidays, or annual leave.

You can’t expect to be a Dom when it’s convenient for you, and expect her to be a Sub when it’s convenient for you., and call it 24/7…. You will inevitable have different ideas of what and when constitutes convenient. You can’t expect to be able to only enforce your rules occasionally, but expect them to be followed all the time. Humans just don’t work that way bro.

You’re setting you both up for failure. But only one of you ends up getting the cane. And you get surprised that she resents you rather than thanks you???

The first step, is figuring out if you want to do this as described. Because any less and you’re not setting yourself up for success.

The second step, is only implementing rules or protocols you yourself are both willing and able to enforce ‘consistently’. When you pick these rules, make sure they are functional. And remember this golden rule: “Never set a rule, or give an order, that you aren’t 100% sure will be obeyed!” Otherwise, once again, you are not setting yourselves up for success.

With this in mind, it behoves you to start off keeping rules simple and minimal.

The third step, is to be her Dom. And you need to be that guy every minute of every day. When you go to sleep at night, when you wake up in the morning. When work is stressing you out and you just couldn’t be bothered. Even when she’s on shark week and she can’t stand you.

My final advice is, that if this isn’t for you. Then that’s cool. Enjoy having a part-time, fun, play based, D/s dynamic. They are great, and they are super fun. They have clearly defined start and stop times to signal when the game is in play. And they have the relevant rules that only apply whilst all parties are on the field of play.

These types of D/s dynamics are great for busy people in casual and short term relationships. They can also be positive, functional, and sustainable and can provide a strengthening element of escape, release, and connection in wonderful long term relationships.

But make your choice and stick to it. Nothing destroys an otherwise good relationship quite the way a half assed attempt at 24/7 power exchange does.

Because anyone looking to have someone approach life as full-time submissive. While they themselves are only going to rock up as a Dom on a part time-basis; can’t be surprised when the sub quits (or in my case ‘unionise’ and seek collective bargaining power).

If you want a full-time sub, then start by being a full-time Dom.

https://fetlife.com/users/1751801/posts/2818790

Thank you Master James for allowing me to share

The Master’s Creed

Author Unknown

I am a dominant man. I am just that. I am not dominant because of any superiority on my part. Not because I feel I am more intelligent, or wiser. I am not dominant because of the strength or mass of my body. I am not, nor would I want to be dominant with all women. Yet to you, I am Master.

I am your Master only after earning your trust and I embrace your submissiveness. I have looked into your heart and mind and clearly see your desires and passions. You have thrown away your fears and inhibitions. You tell me of the needs of your heart and body. You have given me total access to your soul, and I accept the responsibility and honor.

You are a woman. You are not weak or inferior because of it. You are a treasure to be cherished. We are not equal. I have the strength of body and mind and the instinctive need to protect, possess, defend and provide for you. You are a woman and instinctively stronger of will and heart. Your belief in me gives me courage and direction. Your strength disperses my doubt. Your needs and desires encourage and give purpose to my efforts.

We are not equal. We are halves of a whole. We compliment each other and make each other complete. My desire to dominate you is instinctive. It is not to degrade you nor is it degrading to you because you are secure in being totally feminine. We each recognize and accept our worth, and our need for someone to trust and fulfill our needs.

You are sure, strong and proud in your womanhood. You do not submit as acceptance of inferiority, but from strength and passion. You expect a man to stand strong and be a man. You desire and flourish in the strength and control of a man. In return you present control of your body, unqualified trust and honesty, and the faithfulness of your heart. You submit because I have earned your trust. Because I have opened my heart and soul to you. Because I have listened to your words with my ears and heart and have learned to anticipate your needs and emotions. And because I have proven worthy in your eyes, you have given me the only true treasure of life; you have given me dominance over you.

What you give is not abnormal, but pure, natural and the rarest gift a woman could give a man. You have given me complete and unshakable assurance of your commitment to me. Your submissiveness is a magnificent gift and sacred responsibility. I accept this from you with humility and joy. I understand the rarity and purity of this gift. I recognize it is your body and soul, your heart and mind. I dominate you only because you have allowed it. I dominate only because you have allowed me to and when I see your body kneel before me, in my mind and heart you are raised above all other woman, and all the treasures of the earth. What you give freely can not in reality be bought.

Vile