Archive for the Law Category

BDSM And The Law

Posted in abuse, assault, bdsm, BDSM And The Law, Bondage, communication, Consensual, Deception, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominants, Fake Dominants, Fear, https://ncsfreedom.org/, https://ncsfreedom.org/key-programs/consent-counts/consent-counts/item/580-consent-and-bdsm-the-state-of-the-law.html, Humiliation, Impact play, Law, munchs, non-consensual, owning a slave, Police, Rough Sex, Safe, Safe and Sane, Safe Word, session, slave, submissive on January 2, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is a very touchy topic, because if something does ever come up, the outcome depends on your first five minutes or so with the Authorities. The police at your front door.

Your playing one night and you get into a deep session , and things get a little loud. The next thing you know someone is knocking on your door. You open it and there stands the men in blue, holding a flashlight, and the questions start rolling.

What you say in the first 30 seconds depends on whether you the Dominant is going to jail or not. When speaking always make sure you have eye to eye contact. What is more important call your submissive to the door with you.

The submissive should only speak when spoken to, the submissive should only give direct short answers while not volunteering any information.

We are two consenting adults taking part in sexual play nothing more. We do enjoy rough sex but nothing more. The term BDSM should never come up, the word sex can.

Second you do not have to let them in your home, even if they should ask, you simply say no. Remember what you say in the first 30 seconds depends on a lot. This is something that should be practiced in your head over and over.

Let your submissive speak freely when asked a question, reassuring there is nothing going on except some wild sex. Again you do not have to let the police inside your home.

Now on the flip side of things this is not what these dumb ass fake Doms do not understand. You meet a new submissive and you play on the first meeting. Things get a little to rough, and he ends up hurting the submissive. The submissive picks up her things and goes straight to the police. You Mr. Dom are going to jail, straight to jail you will not pass go and you will not collect 200 dollars.

In our world there is no defense when it comes to the word consent. You will not be able to say well she let me tie her up, and let me beat her ass.

Listen to me, there is no Judge that will let you use Consent as a defense. Do your research. As a matter of fact I will even show you case law and proof. You will go to jail, maybe prison depending on how bad you beat someones ass. If you have a career you can kiss it good bye, if your one of the married ones you will lose everything you have worked so so hard for.

We are lucky to have an organization who stands with us, although they have been under fire recently about their funds as far as being a 501 3c , but they are still there and they are there for the community.

The group is called NCSF National Coalition for Sexual Freedom,for those of you who are new to the lifestyle, you should visit their site and read. They offer a lot of benefits, advice and here is the kicker. They have a long list of professionals that are on your side when it comes to the lifestyle.

These professionals being Doctors , Lawyers , and yes even Psychologist regular MD’s , as well as Counselors and Therapist’s. The group provides many many benefits.

Most of the time when a couple goes to court together the Male or Dom will not even be allowed to use the word consent, the Judge will simply not allow it. It will still be looked at as you got made and you beat your girls ass out of anger.

So you meet this Dom and your in a session, you have giving a safe word you are going to use, such as red. Things get a little rougher than you thought and you scream out RED, and he does not stop. After you are untied if your able to get up, and you decide to go to the police he will go to jail. This is your right. You may have agreed to a session but you did not agree to be hurt.

You should simply get dressed get in your car and go straight to the police. Because if you do not and you just go home, he will think he got away with what he has done. You will not be the only victim I promise you. By you not going to the police, opens the door for him to abuse again.

Here is a link you should look at, it is on the NCSF website and it explains more about the Law and BDSM

https://ncsfreedom.org/key-programs/consent-counts/consent-counts/item/580-consent-and-bdsm-the-state-of-the-law.html

While the group is actively fighting for those who take the lifestyle serious and those who are real, they in now way condone any type of abuse, and they will not stand by you if that be the case.

Several years ago we had a Representative from NCSF come and speak at a local Munch, and there was way to much information to absorb in such a short period of time.

Listen to others and learn. Do not be a victim.

BDSM AND THE LAW

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Certain BDSM activities are considered illegal in some countries.

The relationship between BDSM and the law changes significantly from nation to nation. It is entirely dependent on the legal situation in individual countries whether the practice of BDSM has any criminal relevance or legal consequences. Criminalization of consensually implemented BDSM practices is usually not with explicit reference to BDSM, but results from the fact that such behavior as spanking or cuffing someone could be considered a breach of personal rights, which in principle constitutes a criminal offense. In Germany, Netherlands, Japan and Scandinavia, such behavior is legal in principle. In Austria the legal status is not clear, while in Switzerland some BDSM practices can be considered criminal. Spectacular incidents like the US-American scandal of People v. Jovanovic and the British Operation Spanner demonstrate the degree to which difficult grey areas can pose a problem for the individuals and authorities involved. It is very important to learn the legal status of the right of consent in the judicial statue of the country of resident for the practitioners of BDSM.

Germany

The practice of BDSM is not generally penalized in Germany if it is conducted with the mutual consent of the partners involved.

The following sections of the criminal code may be relevant in certain instances for BDSM practices:

To fulfill the charge of coercion, the use of violence or the threat of a “severe mistreatment” must involve an endangerment to life and limb. In cases where the continued application of the treatment could be ended through the use of a safeword, neither coercion nor sexual coercion may be charged. In the case of charges of sexual abuse of people incapable of resistance, similar principles apply. In this case, taking advantage of a person’s inability to resist in order to perform sexual acts on that person is considered punishable. The potential use of the safeword is considered to be sufficient possibility for resistance, since this would lead to the cessation of the act, and so a true inability to resist is not considered to be in effect. The charge of insult (slander) can only be prosecuted if the defamed person chooses to press charges, according to §194. False imprisonment can be charged if the victim—when applying an objective view—can be considered to be impaired in his or her rights of free movement.

According to §228 of the German criminal code, a person inflicting a bodily injury on another person with that person’s permission violates the law only in cases in which the deed can be considered to have violated good morals in spite of permission having been given. On 26 May 2004, the Criminal Panel No. 2 of the Bundesgerichtshof (German Federal Court) ruled that sado-masochistically motivated physical injuries are not per se indecent and thus subject to §228.[1] Still, this ruling makes the question of indecency dependent on the degree to which the bodily injury might be likely to impair the health of the receiving party. According to the BGH, the line of indecency is definitively crossed when “under an objectively prescient consideration of all relevant circumstances the party granting consent could be brought into concrete danger of death by the act of bodily injury.” In its ruling, the court overturned a verdict by the Provincial Court of Kassel, according to which a man who had choked his partner and thereby involuntarily strangled her, had been sentenced to probation for negligent manslaughter. The court had rejected a conviction on charges of bodily injury leading to death on the grounds that the victim had, in its opinion, consented to the act. Following cases in which sado-masochistic practices had been repeatedly used as pressure tactics against former partners in custody cases, the Appeals Court of Hamm ruled in February 2006 that sexual inclinations toward sado-masochism are no indication of a lack of capabilities for successful childraising.[2]

United Kingdom

British law does not recognize the possibility of consenting to actual bodily harm. Such acts are illegal, even between consenting adults, and these laws are enforced (R v Brown being the leading case).[3] This leads to the situation that, while Great Britain and especially London are world centers of the closely related fetish scene, there are only very private events for the BDSM scene which are in no way comparable to the German “Play party” scene.

Following Operation Spanner the European Court of Human Rights ruled in January 1999 in Laskey, Jaggard and Brown v. United Kingdom that no violation of Article 8 occurred because the amount of physical or psychological harm that the law allows between any two people, even consenting adults, is to be determined by the jurisdiction the individuals live in, as it is the State’s responsibility to balance the concerns of public health and well-being with the amount of control a State should be allowed to exercise over its citizens. In the Criminal Justice and Immigration Bill 2007, the British Government cited the Spanner case as justification for criminalizing images of consensual acts, as part of its proposed criminalization of possession of extreme pornography.[4]

Canada

In 2004 a judge in Canada ruled that videos seized by the police featuring BDSM activities were not obscene, and did not constitute violence, but a “normal and acceptable” sexual activity between two consenting adults.[5]

In 2011, the Supreme Court of Canada ruled in R. v. J.A. that a person must have an active mind during the specific sexual activity in order to legally consent. The Court ruled that it is a criminal offence to perform a sexual act on an unconscious person – whether or not that person consented in advance.[6]

Italy

For Italian law, BDSM is right on the border between crime and legality, and everything lies in the interpretation of the Code by the judge. This concept is that anyone willingly causing “injury” to another person is to be punished. In this context, though, “injury” is legally defined as “anything causing a condition of illness”, and “illness” is ill-defined itself in two different legal ways. The first is “any anatomical or functional alteration of the organism” (thus technically including little scratches and bruises too); The second is “a significant worsening of a previous condition relevant to organic and relational processes, requiring any kind of therapy”. This makes it somewhat risky to play with someone, as later the “victim” might call for foul play using any sort of little mark as evidence against the partner. Also, any injury requiring over 20 days of medical care must be denounced by the professional medic who discovers it, leading to automatic indictment of the person who caused it. BDSM play between nonconsenting adults or minors or in public is of course punished according to “normal” laws.[7]

Austria

§90 of the criminal code declares bodily injury (§§ 83, 84) or the endangerment of physical security (§89) to not be subject to penalty in cases in which the “victim” has consented and the injury or endangerment does not offend moral sensibilities. Case law from the Austrian Supreme Court has consistently shown that bodily injury is only offensive to moral sensibilities (and thus punishable) when a “serious injury” (meaning a damage to health or an employment disability lasting more than 24 days) or the “death” of the “victim” results. A light injury is considered generally permissible when the “victim” has consented to it. In cases of threats to bodily well-being, the standard depends on the probability that an injury will actually occur. If serious injury or even death would be a likely result of a threat being carried out, then even the threat itself is considered punishable.[citation needed]

Switzerland

The age of consent in Switzerland is 16 years, which also applies for BDSM play. Children (i.e. those under 16) are not subject to punishment for BDSM play as long as the age difference between them is less than three years. Certain practices, however, require granting consent to light injuries and thus are only allowed for those over 18. Since Articles 135 and 197 of the Swiss Criminal Code were tightened, on 1 April 2002, ownership of “objects or demonstrations […] which depict sexual acts with violent content” is punishable. This law amounts to a general criminalization of sado-masochists, since nearly every sado-masochist will have some kind of media which fulfill these criteria. Critics also object to the wording of the law, which puts sado-masochists in the same category as pedophiles and pederasts.[8][9]

Nordic countries

In September 2010, a Swedish court ruled that a 32-year-old man was acquitted of assault for engaging in consensual BDSM play with a 16-year-old woman (the age of consent in Sweden is 15).[10] Norway’s legal system has likewise taken a similar position,[11] that safe and consensual BDSM play should not be subject to criminal prosecution. This parallels the stance of the mental health professions in the Nordic countries, which have removed sadomasochism from their respective lists of psychiatric illnesses.

References

  1. Jump up ^ Decision of the Bundesgerichtshof, 26 May 2004, 2 StR 505/03, which may be found at: BGHSt 49, 166 (bundesgerichtshof.de)
  2. Jump up ^ Appeals Court of Hamm in its judgement of 1 February 2006, case number 10 UF 147/04, available online at the Portal of the North Rhine-Westfalian Ministry of Justice (German)
  3. Jump up ^ “Spanner Trust submission to the Home Office Review Board on Sexual Offences”. The Spanner Trust. Archived from the original on 14 December 2007. Retrieved 27 January 2008.
  4. Jump up ^ House of Commons: Criminal Justice And Immigration Bill
  5. Jump up ^ Barker, Meg; Iantaffi, A.; Gupta, C. (2007). “Kinky clients, kinky counselling? The challenges and potentials of BDSM”. Open Research Online. Routledge. Retrieved 12 January 2011.
  6. Jump up ^ Mike Blanchfield (27 May 2011). “Woman can’t consent to sex while unconscious, Supreme Court rules”. The Toronto Star. Retrieved 27 May 2011.
  7. Jump up ^ Ayzad, BDSM – Guida per esploratori dell’erotismo estremo, Castelvecchi, 2004 ISBN 88-7615-025-0
  8. Jump up ^ datenschlag.org(Oktober 2001) (German)
  9. Jump up ^ Interessengemeinschaft BDSM Schweiz (German)
  10. Jump up ^ Man freed in landmark S&M case
  11. Jump up ^ SM og loven (Norwegian

A ton of information have fun.

Image

Vile

Sex When I want It, And On My Terms

Posted in 24/7, abuse, anal sex, Arianna, Ass, ass fucking, ass play, bdsm, blow job, Collarme.com, communication, control, controlling, cum, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, Deception, Divorce, Dominants, dress, Eating Pussy, emotional, Emotions, ethics, fetlife, foreplay, fucking, Giving Head, Honesty, infidelity, Law, Lies, life, Married Dominant, Married submissive, Master, Masters, men begging, morals, needy, No Rights, non caring, oral, oral sex, owning a slave, Patience, pleasure, positive reinforcement, Private Protocol, Protocol, Protocol public, pussy, Respect, Rough Sex, Rules, Safe, Safe and Sane, serve, sex, sex slaves, slave, submissive, sucking dick, The word NO, TPE, Trust, Viles House on February 26, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am not sure if sex is one of the advantages of being a Dominant has anything to do with this topic, but I hear a lot of vanilla guys talking about how their women cut them off, or they wont suck dick, and how their girlfriends refuse to have anal sex.

The truth be known many vanilla men are pussy’s. In many cases the female holds sex hostage, to use at their advantage, usually to get what they want. I remember hearing my aunt talking yo my uncle when I was very young, how he had better watch his mouth because it was not Thursday yet, which was payday for him. She may of been playing but now that I look back on it maybe she was serious. My uncle was an average looking guy nothing special. My aunt had always dated rich men she was catered to. My uncle was a union carpenter at that time he made like 14 an hr, back in the early 70’s I guess that was considered good money. I remember hearing my aunt saying how my uncle was not much to look at, but he treated her like a princess, but still she held sex hostage.

I got a lot of flake off of a post I wrote several months ago about how women were put here to serve.Well in most cases I still stand firm on my beliefs. There are those exceptions where the woman runs the house. There are those exceptions where the woman controls the man, and the man just bows down. I would imagine some are happy, but then again there are those men who lost their control early on, and had no idea how to regain it, or maybe just to afraid to grab their balls and step up to the plate, in fear of what? Yup not getting pussy, their weekly reward, get on and get off and leave me alone until next Thursday.

Some men just cower down like a beat puppy. This really in many ways makes me sick to my stomach , I cringe when I hear those almighty words YES DEAR. Wow really are you serious? Your really going to take that. Your going to put your head down turn around and run off to the little man cave she allows you to have so you are out of her hair. All because you are pussy whipped.

Those were the choices you made before getting married, or moving in with your girlfriend. I have a friend named matt, who lives with a girl, and he can only get on collarme or fetlife when she is not home. Now at one time he was a Daddy Dom or I thought he was, but like many people who are willing to settle for less until the next best thing comes along. So yea he is pussy whipped to the max, his penis runs his life. Matt is not allowed to come over to my house because his girlfriend thinks I am a bad influence on him. Me a bad influence on someone well it is possible I suppose.

Another friend Fred, I am not allowed over at his place anymore because of the same thing yea a bad influence. Fred pays a hooker 10.00 dollars twice a week to give him a blow job, I have never seen her but 10.00 bucks really, I can just imagine what she looks like. This has been going on for about five years same girl. Why? because his wife refuses to give head, or do anal, but he knew this before getting married.

So him and I are standing in the kitchen, I really hated going over to his place, they have 7 cats, and as many birds but the litter boxes are over running, the bird cages are dirty, and the smell is just well, like a land field. His wife stays home all day playing games on the computer. She does not cook very often, most of the time he picks up a pizza before coming home. So we are talking about this bitch he pays to suck his dick. He is paying roughly a thousand dollars a yr for head, plus keeping his wife up. That is just crazy, more so it is uncalled for. So I told him go in the living room drop your pants and tell her to give you head. Well her being the nosy bitch she is over heard me, here she comes running in the kitchen. Excuse me what did you say? I told fred to go in the living room drop his pants and tell you to give him head, if you did that he would not be paying a bitch to suck his dick. Okay she did not know about the hooker, my bad. He knew before he married the cow she did not suck dick or take it up the ass. He should man up and except his own stupidity. He made the choice he dug his own grave so suck it up.

We all know how I feel about infidelity ,I feel once in a relationship the two should remain monogamous, unless, and I do mean unless, the couple has made arrangements. The problem with cheating, you really do not know someone you just met, and the odds of taking something home are really great. How much guilt would that carry? Would your marriage be reparable ? Is it worth putting your family through such an ordeal when you get caught, because you will get caught, it is not how, it is when.. I have absolutely no respect for a dominant who steps out of his marriage because his wife wont take it up the ass. So he finds a bitch who will, knowing he will never leave his wife, kids and lose his home, on top of all the money he will end up paying out. Now the submissive is thinking different, and it will take about a year of ass fucking for her to figure that out.

A Dominant who is married, and steps out of his marriage is a punk ass pussy. Your a fake hiding behind a title you do not deserve. While you have some bitch tied to a bed, your loving wife is home cooking dinner and helping the kids with their home work. Fuck I get worked up over this bullshit. Your a pussy and I will tell you to your face.

Here is the thing, I have a friend who is a Dominant, he is seeing a married woman, he is married as well but separated. The married submissive can only have sex with her husband when she is given permission. Are you kidding me? Her husband puts food on the table, pays her bills, a roof over her head, and a car to drive, but she is not allowed to have sex with him. Get the fuck out. The same goes for a female if your not happy, cut the rope and get the fuck out, be who you need to be, you do not have to drag your whole family down with you.

Maybe being a Dominant and owner does have its advantages, but I have met other Dom’s who have the same problem, they are pussy whipped, the first time a submissive says no , the dominant blows up then he wants to exert his authority. I am your Master Bitch you will do as I say. Come on now you have heard it as well, or the Dom will start pouting, or even worse he will pull the guilt trip out of his box of tricks.

The word NO is not in Arianna’s vocabulary, the word NO never comes out of her mouth. I will admit she still does hesitate at somethings, but she is slowly learning , I have her best interest in mind.

Sex I love sex, I love to fuck, I love getting my dick sucked, I love eating pussy, and if I am really into you I will even rim. Last night I rubbed lotion on Arianna, maybe not a full massage but close. Then I just got the urge to go down on her, so down south I went, for a good ten minutes or so, just loving life. I did not want anything in return, I just love eating pussy. So without saying a word I pulled the covers down I opened her thighs and went to town, I did not ask or say a word. The same with getting head, if I am in the mood laying in bed, I will just grab her by her hair and pull her down to my cock.

Yesterday I got the urge to fuck, I told Arianna to strip and get on her back, she did as instructed, I crawled on top busted a nut, and got off of her, I was done. Now most of the time I spend a lot of time when it comes to sex, I love hearing and seeing a woman get off, so I try to make sure I take care of her, but at times it is just about me.

I run my house, I control my house, it is my way and only my way, no questions asked. This was the agreement we had before entering a relationship. Sex when I want, how I want, where I want, be it oral, pussy or anal, it is about me. If you settle for less, you will never be happy, and I refuse to end up being the cheating Dom having to rent a motel room. I refuse to pay for pussy.

Being a Dominant, a Master and owner means a great deal of responsibility, A Dominant should be able to give 100% and no less to his property. We must be available 24/7. Because if you are not, she will find someone who will be, it make take a little time but she will dump your sorry ass.

Sex is on my terms. Now if Arianna is not feeling well. I am considerate enough to wait. Again on my terms.

When out I do not dress Arianna like a slut, although she would wear what she was told to wear. When going out I instruct her on what she will be wearing. In the afternoon, I have clothes laid out, she knows to come in, pull her shoes off at the door, pick up her clothes and shower, no questions asked.

Arianna does not have options the only options are those I allow her. I do not talk much about our business, I generally just handle things, Arianna has enough on her plate now, so I do not bother her with the little stuff. The other day she asked about something, then she made the comment, well I guess it is on a need to know basis. My reply was your correct. If I feel I need to asked her for advice I will, but until then it is on a need to know.

Arianna comes first, no matter what. She knows she can wake me at 2am if she needs to, if she feels she needs to talk. She does however wake me to request to go to the bathroom, then permission to re-enter the bed. I am good with that. She was told early on about getting up or entering the bed.

Most would think our relationship is one way, but that is far from the course, most think my way of running a house is somewhat unorthodox , some think I am to strict. Well they do not pay my bills, nor does anyone put food on my table. How I run my house is my business. As long as Arianna is happy that is all that matters to me.

Arianna is by far the most compliant slave I have ever met. She enjoys task, she loves structure. She loves being limited to where she is allowed to sit. I do not believe Arianna could ever be replaced.

Sex on my terms, and only my terms. You guys need to think about those words instead of paying for a motel room, so you can have it on your terms. Go home to your wife.

 

Vile

Getting spanked by the law: BDSM sexual practices continue to hover in a legal grey area

Posted in bdsm, Law, Police on May 15, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

I came across this article and wanted to share , it covers some aspects of the Law and BDSM .

When it comes to BDSM and the Law there is a big grey area , and a lot of communication between the two. Meaning the Dominant or Submissive , Domme or submissive.

When it comes to BDSM the word consent does not carry much water in the Law Enforcements eyes.

I will add more on the laws and how to handle , if ever confronted with the Law..

by on February 26, 2012 in News

JULIA HUNTER
The Martlet (University of Victoria)

Unfortunately “the man’s” handcuffs aren’t this much fun.

VICTORIA (CUP) — “Consent is a critical tool in western legal traditions,” says the University of Victoria’s own Dr. Maneesha Deckha in her article “Pain, Pleasure and Consenting Women.”

However, BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadomasochism) sexual practices hover in a legal grey area where the law states that people cannot consent to physical harm unless it’s in the context of “socially useful activities.” Acceptable activities have been recognized by Canadian common law as sporting activities, body piercings and tattoos, surgical interventions, and stunts. S/M sexual practices, in the eyes of the Canadian Court, do not fit the bill.

Pat Califia, gender outlaw, sexual anarchist, and revered LGBTQ writer and activist, writes that it’s hard to talk about sadomasochism in feminist terms because some of the slang S/M people use to talk about their sexuality is characterized by words like ‘roles,’ ‘masochism,’ ‘bondage,’ ‘dominance’ and ‘submission.’

In an anti-S/M feminist context, these meanings differ greatly from their significance to S/M folks. Califia also argues that the mass media, clinical psychology, and the anti-pornography movement have sullied the term “sadomasochism” and that minority sexual behavior has been distorted throughout time.

Because media usually depicts BDSM as violent or dangerous, people without a lot of exposure to kink may not think there is much difference between rape culture and bondage enthusiasts. The 1987 British Spanner trials, for example, convicted a group of gay men for assault occasioning bodily harm for their involvement with S/M practices. The courts ruled that consent was not a valid defense.

Dr. Georgia Sitara, sessional lecturer in the women’s studies and history departments at UVic, states that the law, in the case of the British Spanner trials, ignored some of the key elements of S/M like safe words that ensure the safety of participants.

“In the case of the law,” Sitara affirms, “consent is immaterial and irrelevant.”

With particular regard to BDSM practices, the state can take the position that it is in its mandate to protect citizens from bodily harm, and inflicting bodily harm is illegal.

Sitara also advances the argument of Ummni Khan, who worked on the Bedford case in Ontario, where police raided an S/M dungeon in residential Toronto. Khan suggests that the state has monopoly on humiliation and degradation.

“The police were very brutal with the women,” Khan relayed, “The women were strip searched, and the police demanded demonstrations.”

Sitara also suggests that there is a heterosexual privileging that occurs within the courts and that sentencing is often harder on queer S/M practitioners. The Spanner Trials of the UK are a reflection of this. Where men in play parties who practiced S/M in the privacy of their own homes were sent to trial after a homemade video fell into the wrong hands, the dominants were charged with assault, and according to scholar Chris White, the men who participated as submissives were convicted of aiding and abetting assaults upon themselves. On the other hand, the court of appeal argued during another case that a married heterosexual couple in which the husband branded his initials onto his wife’s buttocks, with her consent, was not a matter of criminal prosecution.

Califia argues that BDSM is not a form of sexual assault but a consensual activity that involves polarized roles and intense sensations. A scene is always preceded by a negotiation between the participants — who will play which roles, what activities are likely to occur or not occur, and how long the scenes will last. According to Califia, the key word to understanding BDSM is fantasy. S/M culture is a theatre in which sexual dramas can be acted out and appreciated.

Good BDSM requires the same qualities as every other good relationship — trust, honesty, safety, risk-taking, creativity, personal growth, mutual respect and affection.

Pain and pleasure are both subjective experiences and depending on the context it may frighten you, anger you, urge you on or get you hot. And for S/M practitioners, it is all about the pleasure, baby.