A Few Tips On Money And More

Meeting someone at times can be very difficult, even more if you are meeting people online. Every day or most every day it seems most of my blog has grown into awareness and safety when it comes to the lifestyle.

The ones who need the advice are the ones who think they do not need it. The new ones who are just entering or thinking they may be submissive.

The same goes for the new Dominant who read 50 shades of grey. Now they know everything about the lifestyle, they know everything there is about the lifestyle. So lets find someone we can tie up and just fuck their brains out, beat their ass and move on.  Even when I have been asked for advice from other Doms, once I start to speak they lose interest fast. I suppose because I go into so much detail.

I was talking to a guy at work yesterday and he was complaining about how much a babysitter was 50.00 dollars a day for two kids, and I am thinking well you know that is really not that much. He kicked his girl friend out who is the mother of the kids. So I asked why don’t you let her move back in. He said well she is a stupid lazy cunt. The bitch will not get a job.

Wow okay , does she take care of the kids? he said yes. Does she cook ? He said yes. Does she clean house ? He said yes. Finely, does she give good head? Yes she does. What the fuck is your problem? The cunt will not get a job> It is a shame a lot of men think this way. Oh why did I bring up the head? Well I believe if your girl, submissive, slave gives good head there is a lot you can look over, that is just me.

Okay that was just a rant I got into I just wanted to make a point not all men think this way but a lot do. What is funny is if they had just a tad more control, and used the control to their advantage, their relationship would flow much smoother. The same thing happens when you try to take short cuts in life, it never works out.

You never get anywhere calling your girl a stupid cunt. That will get you nowhere fast, and here comes the fight, you have been trying to avoid all day but just your words is what started the war. So man up and suck it up, be fucking miserable. Complain everyday about how much your life sucks.

So meeting people can be a task, more so meeting someone you think your compatible with, and in the lifestyle that is not as easy as it seems.

Okay I receive about 200 emails a day, and maybe half are from different blogs. I will admit I cannot go to everyone everyday. I do how ever try and visit each one through out the week. So do not think I am ignoring your blog or I do not care that is not the case.

I take the time to sit and read what I can, work 55 hours a week , then take care of Arianna. My time is spread very thin. Then every now and then one catches my eye and I click on the link. Yesterday I think it was I clicked on Phoenix’s link. It started out

Phoenix lies and gets herself in trouble.

http://phoenixasubbie.wordpress.com/2013/12/26/phoenix-lies-and-gets-herself-in-trouble/?replytocom=1380#respond

So I started reading and she had met a man online and she felt the relationship was going in the right direction. They had been talking for a couple of months and he had not put any effort into meeting her, but what he did manage to do was get her to send him 300 dollars. She found out she had been scammed.

To make it worse I suppose she was in a relationship with another Dom, who she lied to and the confessed to sending him money. She was punished which she deserved. If it had been me it would of probably been much worse. At any rate I am going to guess it has not happened again. I am hoping that anyway.

I have seen men do the same thing, a lot of men on Collarme.com. Some girl will email the man, show interest in them. They will say I would love to be your slave but I do not have the money to get to you, can you wire me 500 dollars and I will be your no limit slave for life. Yes there are some really dumb men out there.

I learned a long time ago, if your a helper in life, and you thrive off of helping people, friends or family you will get burnt every time. Because once you start helping then it become expected. You know this is true

You as a human, a submissive a slave, you have to worry about one thing, and that is you, more so if you are single. You have to look out for yourself because no one else will. You can run someone to the store, you can take someone to work, you can take someone to the doctor, but keep your purse closed. You work way to hard to be giving out money, and most likely money you will never see again. Loaning money has ruined many friendships and has caused fights between family’s. You have to put it in your brain it is okay to say NO. You do not need to go into details. You may feel bad for a minute, but you did not cause the mess they are in. You take care of yourself first.

We all make mistakes, the only bad mistakes are the mistakes we make over and over. If you learn from your mistakes you will grow in the right direction.

Arianna use to loan her mother money all the time. She was like a walking ATM. I put a stop to that real fast. I felt she was being taking advantage of because it was expected.

Never give out your real email address. If you do all they have to do is google your email and your whole life pops up. Someone pointed out my real name was in my emails and I had to change it. I don’t want anyone to google my name. I am not ashamed of anything but you google my name then you google BDSM then images and people are visual.

Why would you send a complete stranger nude pictures of yourself, that does not make any sense. When I first met Arianna she sent me tons of pics, but I never asked for a nude one. That takes out all of the excitement, it leaves nothing to the imagination. If he is truly interested in you he would never ask. The same with getting on cam, most do not want to be naked on cam, while some do enjoy it, but for the most I know it makes you feel uncomfortable, but you do it to please, and to show your submissive.  Why get naked so some dude can jack off, that is all he is doing. If you enjoy phone sex have at it, but only after you meet. You need to be careful with what you share and how much you share at one time. You do not have to submit to anyone until you feel you are ready.

No real Dominant would want to start your training the first time you meet. The first time you meet is just that. You need to take the time to get to know each other.

I know when you first meet someone your excited, after the first fifteen minutes or so your thinking this is the one. Well he is not. Let him show a real interest in you as a person.

The biggest problem with the lifestyle BDSM is people more so men put a sexual label on it. Again it is not just about sex.

BDSM is about communication, structure, rules, protocols, being a couple. The rest just falls into place, then comes the kink, the wild sex, after you have formed a foundation. Phoenix asked me not long ago. How long should you wait? That depends on the person, and what your wanting out of the relationship. I can tell you spreading your legs or sucking cock does not make you submissive, at that point and time it makes you an object, and nothing more.

Bestraining.com has some of the best information on the world wide web, about how a relationship should be. The training process, what a relationship is suppose to be about. I found the Denversubmissive, who has a world of information about his life.  The life of a submissive.

I am a Dominant , well okay what makes you a Dominant? Because I like to be in control, I like bondage, spanking, flogging. Not a word about structure, communication has been mentioned. That does not make a Dominant.

When you first meet someone and you do not fuck on the first or second date your percentage stays pretty high when it comes to forming some type of relationship. If you lay on your back and spread the first time you meet, your percentage has dropped dramatically and chances are that will be your last meeting. There may be a few afterwards but it will be short lived.

I piss a lot of people off, I am guessing it is how open I am. I am straight to the point. If you asked a question, and you wanted to know the truth would you want them to beat around the bush or just tell you like it is..

A lot could be avoided if we just took a second to think. I will tell you this and I truly believe it. over 95% of our problems are self inflicting, mostly by trying to take short cuts or not listening to your brain.

If you are not in a long term relationship, more so if you have never met the guy, don’t give him any money. His problems are not your problems, and chances are your not the only one who has or is giving him money.

Vile

Breaking Protocols

I have went on and on about protocol. when I take something to heart I like sharing. Those who are true to the lifestyle knows something about this subject, those learning should take note. As a matter of fact if you are new to the lifestyle submissive that is and you are meeting a new Dominant one of the first questions you should ask is what are your protocols, public and private. If the Dom has to think or is struggling with words beware.

A friend of ours was at a local Munch she was with her Dom, I guess it was a huge turnout the St Augustine Fla Munch always has a huge turnout anyway. Good topics and awesome Demos.

A new Dominant shows up, been in the lifestyle for some years, I have met him a couple of times he seemed somewhat gentle if you will, he was okay no one I would hangout with, then again there is not many people I would hangout with anyway.

It is very improper for a Dominant to contact a submissive who is collard without contacting her Dominant first. Going over the Doms head is very disrespectful. It does not matter if your just dropping a note to say high it was good to meet you.

Her Dominant contacted him, and again he sent her an email apologizing again not contacting her Dom. So again he contacts him again and explains his protocols. Then at the Munch again he ignored her Dom and directly spoke to her again apologizing, if I am getting the story right. This am Arianna and I were sitting at the table, our morning coffee together and she was explaining to me what had happened.

To this day there are four Dominants that I will allow Arianna to speak to, this is in public, and none of them would ever think of contacting her without contacting me first. Even with our wedding pictures, all correspondence went through me first. The Slave who performed the wedding her owner had emailed me and said to make all plans through her. This was his permission.

Here on wordpress we are all pretty open, we kinda open our lives up to friends we have made and to total strangers. Comments are made, but I have seen some comments that go way over the edge, even if a submissive is single there should be some respect.

Okay lets take BDSM completely out of the picture. Bob and Mary go to a company party, the next day Mary receives and email from another co-worker of Bob’s asking her questions and wanting to be her friend. The co-worker ignores the fact that Mary is married or living with someone, and goes over Bob’s head. A total lack of respect.

In the world of BDSM we are suppose to hold ourselves to a much higher standard. our partners look at us in a much different way. We are suppose to be honest, respectful, in control.

Here is the problem, many men see women who are submissive as an easy target, does not matter if they are with someone or not. The one who is making the unwanted advances is going to try and show how the grass could be greener on the other side. These so called Doms are predators and nothing more.

If they spent half as much time chasing someone who is already taken, and looking for someone who is single things might be somewhat different.

To email a submissive going over her owners head is just plain disrespectful. The same thing happened to me several years ago with a very good friend or I thought he was a friend.

Problem in hand, all you are seeing is the shell of the submissive, your thinking about pussy nothing else. What else could you be thinking about you do not even know her, and for some odd reason you think you can offer her a better home. The male predator does not have a clue and the submissive’s home life, not a clue about the needs, and care the submissive may need. Then comes any issues one may have, he is not looking at the whole picture.

Several years ago I invited a friend over to dinner, my slave and I had prepared an awesome meal. I even opened a ten year old bottle of Rose courvoisier cognac. Before and after dinner my friend was just staring at every move my slave made. He made little comments about her hair, her skin. I was thinking really is all this really needed?

So after dinner I stepped outside to talk to a friend who was outside he lived down stairs, I was smoking a padron 1926 cigar. Once I stepped back in I noticed my friend was now sitting next to my slave on the couch. I poured another drink, and she made the comment that my friend wanted her to move in with him, he could treat her better. I am just looking  at him with a blank stare, then I said what the fuck man, I invite you here I feed you share drinks now you want to fuck my bitch. He made the comment that she was not a bitch she was a lady, then he said she was lying.

Okay first off she is my bitch, second she is not capable of lying, third you have known her all of one hour, fourth what are you going to do put her on the handle bars of your bicycle and take her home, to your roach invested apartment, get the fuck out.

Lonnie was his name, he had no clue to what she was like, her needs, and what it took to keep her in line, he saw the shell and nothing more it was his dick talking, he had pussy on his mind.

Prior to Arianna and I getting married, a Slave was going to perform our wedding, I had made several contacts with her master staying updated. Her Master then gave me permission to contact his slave as she was better at giving updates. I made the first contact, then I handed it over to Arianna. Yes the respect factor comes into play.

WordPress I make comments on different blogs but I never contact the submissive via email, even more know knowing she is taken. I have one I do not need anyone else nor am I looking for anyone else.

Outside of a munch or a function, I am not sure why another Dominant would want to contact a slave who is owned and living with her owner.

My time one wordpress I have talked to several submissive’s mainly just giving advice, our conversation never turned sexual, nor did I try to make an advance

While I am far from perfect I have grown over the years, I take who and what I am very serious, and I give the up most respect at all times.

Many today think the way I run my house is about abuse, my rules guidelines, and protocols. One Dominant I know made the comment about dehumanizing. I can see where he was coming from, but again he sees only the shell he is not looking inside to what Ariannas needs are, I can tell you he would not want the responsibility.

Be a man get your own slave, because you may just bite off more than you can chew.

Vile

There Has To Be A Bitch

I use the word Bitch loosely , just as we use pet names. Pet names are okay to use. In fact most who are submissive like when Their Dominant uses pet names, even like my Little Bitch. The3 thing is to never use these names out of anger. I believe it can cause much confusion.

Anyway I’ve been really busy with work, planning the wedding, just getting things in order. Arianna has been going through some very positive changes. Changes that have been a long time coming. Things are good, and getting better. I love it when a plan comes together.

Arianna is still learning, and has really come a long way.  Just as I explained it takes roughly a year in a 24/7 relationship for a slave to fully mature. Most of the trust is there, but there still remains some doubt. I get to smile a lot when I am right.  A year ,a Slave should be in full swing. It takes that long to adjust to their new lifestyle. Some Slaves get over whelmed because if something is not right, they have the feeling that they have failed. During this time, punishment should be somewhat flexible, and some thought should be giving, and analyzed to see if a rule was just out right broken or maybe forgotten.  This does not mean I do not express myself or correct verbally.

Anyway I am at work talking to a guy that started the same time I did, and we were talking. He was explaining how much he hated his wife. How big of a drunk she was, how she yelled at him, calling him worthless, blah blah blah. Okay never mind the afternoon stops he makes at a local bar, or the fact he is addicted to Oxycontin, and morphine tablets. So I am guessing he is just as guilty as his wife. Then another coworker was complaining about how much him and his girlfriend argue all the time, mainly out of jealousy/  I can understand those two because they are still young, but Mr. Oxycontin is 55 years old. I would think there would come a time when a man or woman would want to grow up and enjoy life.

I begin to explain a little about my lifestyle a little, but see very early in the conversation he is not listening, nor did he really give a fuck. All is good because I didn’t really want to waste to much oxygen on him anyway. The next day he is complaining again, and I said look you knew she was fucked up before you married her, your like a person who does not vote. You have no right to complain.

He walks up to me and now he wants to listen. First thing he wanted to know if our lifestyle was some kind of an occult. My reply was your not only a pill head but your stupid, and that my friend cannot be fixed.

In a relationship there has to be a bitch, be it a man or a woman. someone has to be in charge. Someone has to make the final decision. You cannot have two alphas living in the same household, it will not work.  Many go years trying to make such a relationship work.

It really kills me when I hear men cry about how lousy their home life is. I had asked Mr. Oxy king how many times he has stepped out on his wife in 18 years and he could not count. Why did he cheat you ask? We she refuses to suck cock. My point was you knew this before you got married. You knew she would not go down south, but you let your dick do the talking.  Now your stuck, with Mrs Daniels and only getting laid the day before payday, suck it up my friend.

I cannot stress enough how important it is to get everything out in the open before entering a new relationship. Most men will not because they are afraid they will not get the pussy, or they will be dumped. Once you hit it and you get that love thing going, it is over, sucking cock is out the window, until about six months down the road, you bring sucking cock up or even anal and you get a big fuck you. You then walk away like a whipped puppy with your tail between your legs. He does not have an alpha bone in his body. Then comes the thinking. and he strays, or even worse and I see it everyday married men pulling over and picking up hookers. Ten bucks to get their cock sucked.

It does however go both ways, many women are not upfront about their kinks and needs as well. I can understand somewhat on both sides because you do not want to come off as being to weird. Women fuck around just as much as men. It just really bothers me to see a man who is so weak.

Sex is not the only reason for someone stepping out, many things can come to lite. the biggest being non-compatible, a lack of communication, then comes sex. It does not make it right for either. Then to drag the whole family into a mess that they did not even create.

Unforgivable Act

You will remain loyal at all times. That is an unforgivable action. If for some reason this happens, be sure he is the one you want to be with.

One of my rules that are in place. It may not seem it fits as a rule, but the fact is many today have a problem staying Loyal. When people do stray out of a relationship it is not love they are looking for, it is the heat of the moment.

Then again I have known people who have strayed and played with the same partner outside of the relationship for years, and then go home as if nothing has happened. Maybe they are not getting the attention they need at home, or the sex just sucks, but everything else is just fine at home. This still gives no excuse.

When entering a relationship the two should make sure they are compatible in all areas including sex. Many men are either ashamed or to shy to reveal their sexual needs and fetishes. Maybe the men are afraid of rejection, or when talking about sex topics come up the female is totally against. As usual the male thinking with his cock will give in. The male will think at that moment and time everything is fine.

Maybe the female is afraid to bring up her needs, kinks, and fetishes. Maybe she thinks the male will think something is wrong with her.

It does go both ways, she wont suck dick, and he wont eat pussy. If this is the case why would either chance a relationship that is doomed from the start.

Okay so it is not always about sex. Maybe a lack of communication, or the intimacy of just being held. Someone paying attention to you. Men are weaker when it comes to the above, a man can be in love, but let another female show a little affection and he is ready to jump the fence hoping the grass is greener on the other side.

Once into a relationship many women are neglected, the male begins to take advantage of the relationship without really knowing he is. He begins to expect things that were once done because the other wanted to.

You will remain loyal at all times. That is an unforgivable action. If for some reason this happens, be sure he is the one you want to be with.

I take these words very serious. The unforgivable act. A man crawling on top of my property. Using my property for their pleasure.

This post is not directed at anyone, and no it is not  directed towards Arianna. I completely trust her. She was reading her rules the other night and stated this was her favorite rule. She stated it was direct and to the point, and it told of the consequences.

Maybe your poly and you have the understanding and you agree it is okay to see others, maybe your in an open relationship. While I do not understand and I never will, what is between two is their business. If sleeping with others makes you happy and your relationship stronger have at it.

You will remain loyal at all times. That is an unforgivable action. If for some reason this happens, be sure he is the one you want to be with.

Before I entered our relationship, I made everything clear, my kinks, my fetishes, and my needs. I get everything I need from home. I fuck anytime I want, I get head anytime I want without question. I love anal sex it is there anytime I choose. Arianna dresses to please me and only me. Our communication is at level 10, we talk, we laugh and joke, more so me. I love to just gab and Arianna listens.

You will remain loyal at all times. That is an unforgivable action. If for some reason this happens, be sure he is the one you want to be with.

The bottom line you always get caught, it is not a matter of how or why, it is when. So you are going to take a chance and uproot your whole family. You are going to take a chance and destroy what you spent years building, over some dick or pussy.

Think about it, you take fifteen minutes of pleasure, your caught and told to pack your bags. The one your seeing is married, you cannot move in with them. Now your starting all over, now the fight begins.

Even if for some odd chance you are forgiving, the relationship is not the same. When you have sex the other person is always in the back of your mind. The trust will never be there, it is gone.

Men are dogs, when he is caught he will beg, cry, and swear he will never do it again. He will do what ever it takes or will say what ever it takes to keep his foot in the door. Most women will forgive, but they will not forget. Once the male is comfortable again, he is back on the prowl. Women on the other hand once caught and they see the consequences, they will not stray again, there are those exceptions, but for the most they will remain loyal.

You will remain loyal at all times. That is an unforgivable action. If for some reason this happens, be sure he is the one you want to be with.

Vile

I Have No Respect For Married Dominants

I have posted about this before, it just really gets to me I think Married Dominants are nothing but mere cowards.

I have a very dear friend who was seeing a married Dominant who is now in the hospital, at the hands of his wife, after being beat with a baseball bat. Now she did not know he was married until she got out of the car at home after leaving the motel.

The married Dominant knew when you took your vows, for better or worse, that your new loving bride was not into BDSM, you knew she did not suck dick, or took it up the ass.. So instead you hunt for another bitch that will fill your wants, and  your control issues.

What really pisses me off is every time I post something about some dick who is married, he does not have the balls to say anything, or can give a rational reason why he has to step out on his wife and children while they wait at home for daddy.

You the submissive, or slave, never get a Christmas, birthday, Easter, vacations nothing. You have to settle for an over night stay at the motel 6. and most of the time the subs pays half, because the Weak Dominant cannot afford to pay on his own, because he still has a family to support.

So we have a mother of two, who is in ICU because the Married Dom did not have the guts to come clean with his vanilla bride, who cleans his house, cooks dinner, works, takes care of the kids, and spreads from time to time. What a piece of shit.

My hat goes off to http://thelionresurrected.wordpress.com. Who had the balls to come clean about his lifestyle. Who divorced his wife because she could not be what he needed. JD is the first besides myself in twenty years to have enough balls. To stand up and say this is who I am and I cannot change.

When I divorced I owned a 250.000 dollar house on the beach. After my divorce I walked out of my house with a fucking duffel bag, and a beat up pickup truck. I lost a 1957 chevy, a 1976 Fiat Spider, a 1962 Corvette. Oh and 50K in cash I had to fork over. I lost all of my possessions. In the end I was happy, I could now be who I was and needed to be.

Not one of you married Dominants can give me a justified reason why you have to cheat, or if your not happy to get a divorce. Do not say it is for the children, I had a child and Lion has two.

If you think for one minute you will not get caught you will, no matter how slick you are, or sneaky you will get caught. Then your going to put the blame on your wife because she wont suck dick.

You are a disgrace to the Community, and you want some bitch to call you master. The first words out of your mouth is TRUST , ALWAYS TELL THE TRUTH. Then you want the sub to follow your rules when you cannot even follow your own.

Why don’t you all stand up and be the man you say you are. You married the one, suck it up, it was your mistake, but your willing to take a chance and when you get caught you bring your whole family down.

There are exceptions, there are those who know. There are those who are poly and are willing to except other partners. To each their own, I do not share my pussy is just that my pussy.

Now you turn the table, and I have seen it before, if your wife was spreading for another man you the almighty dominant would come unglued you would have a fucking heart attack, you would beat the mans ass. For what fucking your wife.

Before I entered a relationship with Tish I made it perfectly clear what my needs were, I put all my cards on the table, she agreed, and I agreed to meet her needs. The fact is, I am here for her 24/7. I am available no matter what. I have no need to look somewhere else, I get everything I need from one.

Be a real Dominant , be who you say you are.

Get a fucking life.

Vile