Archive for the Emotions Category

Part-time Doms don’t get Full-time submission.

Posted in 128 Basic rules, 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, A Masters Creed, abuse, anxiety, Arianna, Bad Dominant, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Abuse, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Christian Grey, communication, control, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, Fake Dominants, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Part Time Dominant, Part Time Submission, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, viledesires62@aol.com on November 8, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Sometimes I come across something that catches my eye, and what I am going to share turned up on my friends list on Fetlife.  I found the Writing of Master James to be right on.

While my way is not the only way I have touched on many things that most disagree with, when I use the word protocols people laugh, when I use the word consistency most laughed, when I use the word rules most laugh , and that is all good until the relationship fails.

You wake up one morning and now your Christian Fucking Grey like him not having a clue and your super Dom, or King Master you want the title you want to be adored and worshiped but you do not want the responsibility , not really caring what effects your having on someones feelings or emotions, or the lasting effects.

The part time Dom has a on and off switch , but I can promise you the Submissive does not have such a switch. So while you the Dominant are making your demands after a long absents your submissive is faking it just to please you which does not equal submission.

I have also talked about rules having a few in place, you can cause a overload if you pile on the almighty 128 Rules most follow when they have no clue.

I have also talked about how being a Dominant is not a 9 to 5 gig , it is a 24/7 365 gig.  You the part time submissive sitting at home at night watching TV or reading a book while picking up your phone to see if you have received a email or a text , and this can go on for days, weeks and even a month or so.

So looking over my friends feed on Fetlife this title caught my eye and I clicked and started reading. I emailed Master James to see if I could re-post here on my blog and he was more than happy to let me share….

Part-time Doms don’t get Full-time submission.

Other controversies aside, what first garnered my modicum of notoriety on this site, was not my social commentary, my love of suits, my satirical humor, my rope, my photos, or my ideological battles with socialist reform zealots……

No, it was D/s. The fact that I audaciously identified as a Master, maintained multiple 24/7 D/s relationships, led a House, and focused my energy on boring stuff like protocol, rather than the fun stuff that looks great in photos and videos.

To this very day, this remains the staple diet of my inbox. Messages flow in, asking a mundane 34 year old stranger from the other side of the planet how to fix the problems in their D/s relationship.

Well, over the years, one issue continues to be a prevalently central element to the problems people face. And after a raft of recent messages from Doms where this issue became apparent. I decided it was time to address it specifically:

It’s the issue of perception. The perception of what a 24/7 D/s relationship is and what it takes. Or alternately, the issue of misconceptions as to what a 24/7 D/s relationship takes.

The majority of messages I get from Doms, start by highlighting issues in their dynamic. And then asking me for tips on training to fix it, and/or protocols to strengthen it. Whist completely missing the root of the problem.

So here’s my Uber-Dom pro tip……..
The secret to the root of 98% of problems in your D/s dynamic, that are caused by you, and stand in the way of you a achieving a functional 24/7 dynamic…..Are you ready for this?

Consistency!

That’s right folks. Consistency and the dedication required to sustain it.

You can research, read blogs, order books off Amazon, go to countless workshops, and write up the most intricate rules, protocols, and punishments. But all the best ‘how-to’ guides and training programs in the world won’t work, if you don’t have the commitment, the dedication, and most of all; the consistency to see them through.

And this is where 99% of D/s relationships fall apart.

Being on the D side of the slash in a 24/7 power exchange dynamic isn’t a part time job, a hobby, a passing interest, or a play thing…. It’s full time. And I don’t mean full-time in the sense of a full-time job. Those in which you do your 8 hours and you knock off and go home.
When we say 24/7, we actually mean 24/7. It isn’t just a catchy title. There are no knock-off times, overtime pay, weekends, sick days, public holidays, or annual leave.

You can’t expect to be a Dom when it’s convenient for you, and expect her to be a Sub when it’s convenient for you., and call it 24/7…. You will inevitable have different ideas of what and when constitutes convenient. You can’t expect to be able to only enforce your rules occasionally, but expect them to be followed all the time. Humans just don’t work that way bro.

You’re setting you both up for failure. But only one of you ends up getting the cane. And you get surprised that she resents you rather than thanks you???

The first step, is figuring out if you want to do this as described. Because any less and you’re not setting yourself up for success.

The second step, is only implementing rules or protocols you yourself are both willing and able to enforce ‘consistently’. When you pick these rules, make sure they are functional. And remember this golden rule: “Never set a rule, or give an order, that you aren’t 100% sure will be obeyed!” Otherwise, once again, you are not setting yourselves up for success.

With this in mind, it behoves you to start off keeping rules simple and minimal.

The third step, is to be her Dom. And you need to be that guy every minute of every day. When you go to sleep at night, when you wake up in the morning. When work is stressing you out and you just couldn’t be bothered. Even when she’s on shark week and she can’t stand you.

My final advice is, that if this isn’t for you. Then that’s cool. Enjoy having a part-time, fun, play based, D/s dynamic. They are great, and they are super fun. They have clearly defined start and stop times to signal when the game is in play. And they have the relevant rules that only apply whilst all parties are on the field of play.

These types of D/s dynamics are great for busy people in casual and short term relationships. They can also be positive, functional, and sustainable and can provide a strengthening element of escape, release, and connection in wonderful long term relationships.

But make your choice and stick to it. Nothing destroys an otherwise good relationship quite the way a half assed attempt at 24/7 power exchange does.

Because anyone looking to have someone approach life as full-time submissive. While they themselves are only going to rock up as a Dom on a part time-basis; can’t be surprised when the sub quits (or in my case ‘unionise’ and seek collective bargaining power).

If you want a full-time sub, then start by being a full-time Dom.

https://fetlife.com/users/1751801/posts/2818790

Thank you Master James for allowing me to share

The Master’s Creed


Author Unknown

I am a dominant man. I am just that. I am not dominant because of any superiority on my part. Not because I feel I am more intelligent, or wiser. I am not dominant because of the strength or mass of my body. I am not, nor would I want to be dominant with all women. Yet to you, I am Master.

I am your Master only after earning your trust and I embrace your submissiveness. I have looked into your heart and mind and clearly see your desires and passions. You have thrown away your fears and inhibitions. You tell me of the needs of your heart and body. You have given me total access to your soul, and I accept the responsibility and honor.

You are a woman. You are not weak or inferior because of it. You are a treasure to be cherished. We are not equal. I have the strength of body and mind and the instinctive need to protect, possess, defend and provide for you. You are a woman and instinctively stronger of will and heart. Your belief in me gives me courage and direction. Your strength disperses my doubt. Your needs and desires encourage and give purpose to my efforts.

We are not equal. We are halves of a whole. We compliment each other and make each other complete. My desire to dominate you is instinctive. It is not to degrade you nor is it degrading to you because you are secure in being totally feminine. We each recognize and accept our worth, and our need for someone to trust and fulfill our needs.

You are sure, strong and proud in your womanhood. You do not submit as acceptance of inferiority, but from strength and passion. You expect a man to stand strong and be a man. You desire and flourish in the strength and control of a man. In return you present control of your body, unqualified trust and honesty, and the faithfulness of your heart. You submit because I have earned your trust. Because I have opened my heart and soul to you. Because I have listened to your words with my ears and heart and have learned to anticipate your needs and emotions. And because I have proven worthy in your eyes, you have given me the only true treasure of life; you have given me dominance over you.

What you give is not abnormal, but pure, natural and the rarest gift a woman could give a man. You have given me complete and unshakable assurance of your commitment to me. Your submissiveness is a magnificent gift and sacred responsibility. I accept this from you with humility and joy. I understand the rarity and purity of this gift. I recognize it is your body and soul, your heart and mind. I dominate you only because you have allowed it. I dominate only because you have allowed me to and when I see your body kneel before me, in my mind and heart you are raised above all other woman, and all the treasures of the earth. What you give freely can not in reality be bought.

Image

Vile

She Was Tied To A Tree

Posted in Acceptance, anti depression medication, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, commitment, communication, compatibility, Depressed, Depression, Dominant, emotional, Emotions, fucking, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Mental illness, outdoor bondage, Protocols, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock on April 13, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

My first real rush , I was in my early teens and Bev and I were in the same grade. I remember after a Baseball game I sat with her on the bus and fingered her until we reached the school. We never really talked to much even though I would hang out over at her house , in fact she was more like a tom boy with a body built for sin.
Bev had come from a State home and her now parents were friends with my parents. Man if they had only known she was fucking everybody in school. I posted before about the teen whore , but now as I look back it was just a cry for attention.

I imagine many who are Baby Girls , submissive and even Slave are in need of the same , in fact I believe many are starving for attention. When you go into a relationship with that need it is very easy to be misled, and more so being taking advantage of. Your emotions can fuck you up and fuck you up fast, they will make you blind, and it has to be a fucked up feeling.

You know it is weird but it is almost like I am emotionless , I mean not when it comes to Arianna or close friends , but the reality is I really do not give a fuck.
I take care of my own and I expect others to do the same. If you spend your time in others Drama it drains your soul , and you become part of their cancer. I have said before I am unforgiven , I am not sure where that part of me came from, its just how Ive always been. You can be standing right in front of me talking and I see nothing and hear nothing.

People spend more time trying to be politically correct instead of speaking their mind. Acting like you care because when they are not around they are now the topic of discussion.

Growing up my dad has these fucked up Truck stop books. The slut next door, The town whore, you get the picture. Well at my age and zero communication with my parents , how would I know any different? At that age it is hard to differentiate fiction and non-fiction. So my thoughts were , women were merely objects , toys that were meant to be used.

Bev and I were like fuck Buddies and nothing more, when were fucking she would just ask if I wanted to fuck her ass. So this type of non relationship just justified my reasoning. In many ways Bev was just like the girls in the books I had read.

Bondage Sluts was a good book , well at that time it was, but it gave me a different point of view now, a whole new world had just opened up. Now I had to experiment , I wanted to be the dude in the book , and who would be best to play out such a fantasy ? Yes Bev she would be my first experiment.

I never told her what was up , during the week I had gone to the feed store about bought some rope. Leaving the house My dad asked me what my plans were for the day and I just turned around and looked and walked out.

Once out in the woods I took immediate control and I told her to strip. Once nude I looked around for two trees and instructed her to come to me. I took one arm tied the rope around one wrist and then the other. I took my shirt off and put it over her head so she could not see me.

As I stood in front of her and I knelt down and I just gazed at her I got the rush , chill bumps just went across my whole body, and I was thinking man what power.

I got up and walked behind her and I slipped my belt of folded it in my hand and with out a word right across her ass , and she said nothing. Then again and again and again and not a word.
At this point and time it had nothing to do with getting pussy , or getting my cock sucked it was the control I had over her, it was a total rush I had never felt before.

I am almost positive this is where my journey began , and it would be some two years later I would be introduced to BDSM while stationed in Korea. Although I did learn a lot there were things that were not fully explained , and it would not be until years later that I would learn of my many mistakes.

It is way to easy to play on someones emotions , and that makes it easy to take advantage of someone. Then it did not bother me so much but today I like to sleep at night. It took me years to learn communication was the first key. and that Horrible word I always use ? Consistency. That word goes with communication.
I knew how to get into someones head , but staying there was always the problem, and I did not know the difference when someone was emotional and needy and not.
I like the challenge , even when someone does not show any real interest. I love knowing what makes a submissive or slave tick. I like to be able to get in and knock on some doors opening each and every one.

If you go deer hunting and every deer is tied to a tree what challenge is that? Sure your going to brag but I can assure you , you will leave the tied up part out.

So it is always not the Subs fault, although it does make it pretty easy to put them blame on her , but after several relationships failing you would think , hey something is wrong?

There was a time when I was going though a slight depression phase , so I did what most would do or at least what I thought should be done. I dropped everything , and regrouped. I stayed to myself I did not date because I knew in order to have a successful relationship I had to be in the right place. I also knew it would not be fair to bring someone into my mess.
I moved and I rented this awesome one room cabin on the river. You know everything was in one big room, the living room , kitchen and dinning room , an old log cabin it was really cool. I would sit on the porch and just vegetate , really not even thinking about anything. I guess I was like defogging my brain ,trying to figure out my next move. This lasted maybe a year.

Once I had gathered my thoughts and I was feeling good again I moved into a house and I put a plan into motion. I sit down and made a list of what I wanted in a slave and I began to search.

I really hate hearing other Dominants play on someones emotions or feelings. I wish I could be a better Dom , I am really trying to be a better Dom, I wish I was a better Daddy. All of those words are really Pathetic. These are the guys who prey on the gullible , the insecure, not knowing what they are doing , or have a low self esteem.
This is also where the dude gets played , because his whole life revolves around one thing and that is pussy , and he is deer hunting , but he is looking for the deer tied to a tree. He does not want someone who has goals , or is independent , or has a self esteem, he is looking for the weak.

Reversed the sub feeds on the weak , getting her way , taking advantage of the so called Dominant , while making him feel in charge by spreading on demand. Playing with depression is a very dangerous game.

Okay yea there is medication , you can feel better , but the medication keeps you in check. Most who suffer from serious depression have daily routines , thus having structure in their life. If you add or take away from their daily routine you throw everything off balance , and it does not matter what type of meds your on it fucks everything up. Male or female to fuck with someones emotions when they suffer from depression can be a deadly game.

It was not long ago I had Arianna bound. I love the plastic wrapping you get from uhaul. You can wrap the entire body and they cannot move or get lose. I have a black leather hood I love using. Arianna was laying on the bed all wrapped up with the hood on, and I knelt and the same rush came over me. I was just thinking man what control.
I had every hole exposed to me and I could do basically anything I wanted , but that is not what I wanted I just wanted to admire. Admire my slave, my property , and my wife.

I love the Rush

rush

Vile

BDSM And Fetlife

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, Bdsm events, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, control, controlling, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, etiquette, exhibitionism, exploiting your slave, Fetlife Groups, Humiliation, MAST, Master And Slave, munchs, Private Protocol, Protocol public, Protocols, Rules, slave, Slave Owned Property, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used on March 3, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I thought I had found a place where I fit. I thought I found new friends well I was hoping anyway. Someone I could speak with on the same level and someone who truly understood where I was coming from.
Before sending a friend request I wanted to get to know the Master a little more. I wanted to see where he was coming from , and what his feelings were.
I had even gone as far as inviting him and his slave to dinner , mainly because we had so much in common…

I need that interaction with others in the lifestyle , I need to be able to relax , talk about things we have in common or just shoot the shit

The Master has not been active in the local community but I was willing to look that over , again things in common, we were on the same page of what an M’s relationship was all about. He is starting a new group and I was going to go as far as to promote it for him so we could get a good group together.

There are not very many Dominants who think or feel the way I do about the lifestyle , some even say I am somewhat unorthodox in my ways, or I am to strict , I need to let up a little , give Arianna some breathing room.

All in all I am me and nothing is going to change, I am who I am and I am completely happy. Right now I am in a good place and I do not see things changing anytime in the future.

So I have been on Fetlife for several years now. I have had one other profile but it has since been taking down now for a couple of years. I belong to about 21 groups and I have about 40 friends 90% of which I have met.
There has not been a group that has caught my eye until last week.

MALEDOM Central Florida…. Description:

A central Florida community of Male Dominants and female submissives that operates under the belief that “women exist to be the property, servants and playthings of men”

Okay so I am in the game so far , because this for the most is what I truly believe. I have believed this since a very early age going back to my teens.

Basic Membership Rules:
*Only 100% Dominant Males and 100% submissive females please, no switches.

*Females is defined as “having a vagina.” Post op transsexuals are always welcome, however no submissive men may join, including sissies, crossdressers, and pre op transgender. If you have a penis and are submissive, this is not the group for you.

*females will address ALL males respectfully and submissively at ALL times, addressing them as “Sir” unless otherwise instructed.
1. This is one of the problems I started to have with the Moderator of the group. The way I look at it is we are all different so I am not here to bad mouth anyone. We all have different point of views when it comes to the lifestyle , but unless under my direction Arianna does not and will not address another Dominant as SIR. That is part of my protocols and those who have been in the lifestyle for any time knows and understands my way of thinking..

*This group operates under the firmly held belief that “women exist to be the property, servants, and playthings of Men” so all members must share this mindset.

*Dominants must be courteous regarding other Dominants property, but all females will be treated as just that, property. females will always interact with Dominants without arguing, backtalking, or giving sass. There will be no expectation of respect, fair treatment, courtesy or politeness to property. females have no rights to ANYTHING here.

Here is the second problem I had , now mind you him and I have been texting and things have been going smoothly. Again we had a lot in common or so I thought….

Now he is new to the community as far as being active , so I am not sure how long he has been in a M’s lifestyle we never got that far.

Here are some more things I found troubling. I am The Master of Arianna , I am the owner of Arianna, and she is my property. Although there may be times I ask for advice I do have the final say in all matters…..

ALL females, whether owned or not, must wear a collar to ALL events. If they are not owned this is to signify and reinforce that they are property, not people, and certainly NOT equal to ANY male. Once inside any private event, all females will be expected to immediately strip down to panties or change into revealing fetishwear. If any Dominants would prefer their property to be dressed differently at an indoor, private event, please contact Master Joe at 555-555-5555, and exceptions can be made. If no prior arrangements have been made, females will be expected to strip down to panties and collar or revealing fetish wear at the door.

*ALL females will help serve at events and will be available to get drinks and food for Dominants. Any Dominant who wishes to remove His property from this group service for a period of time may do so by putting her on a leash or lead. Any female not on a leash or lead may be ordered by ANY Dominant to perform simple NONSEXUAL service (get drinks, move chairs, etc) and must immediately obey.

*No female will be required to participate in any sexual play (unless her Owner orders it, of course). If a female is available for play or open to sexually serving Dominants other than hers, this can be demonstrated by attaching a pink ribbon to her collar. A pink ribbon does NOT require a Dominant to allow His property to participate in any play and is used only to indicate that asking her owner is welcomed and not offensive. Any female without a pink ribbon attached to her collar is understood to be unavailable for sexual service or play with others and MUST NOT be ordered to and her Owner should not be asked as this is very rude and offensive.

*Please be courteous with other Dominant’s property. females are property and playthings and deserve no respect, however, if a female is owned, please remember that her Owner DOES deserve respect, so all Dominants please act accordingly.

Now the above

His group , he is the moderator , but I do find a few things wrong, okay wrong is not the right word. Maybe I would do thinga a little different..

While I do agree with 95% of the above there is 5 % I do not, and I will explain why.

I blogged last week I think it was about exploiting slaves and submissives , and the above is a form of just that. There are some factors you have to look into and respect being one of them , and then you have the mental side of things. Just how much can your property take? Although I do believe at times some humiliation is needed to keep things in check, but never in a public setting.

So shortly after Arianna and I met I began to put protocols in place as well as a few rules. Some of the things she wanted clarification on , was sharing , and being exposed in front of others, and if I would be taking on other Slaves as well ? Those are all good questions so I answered all of them , No Sharing , she would not be exposed and I had not thought about taking on another slave nor would I unless she brought it up and she has.
In the end I gave my word and for me to go back , well it would not look very good, and I lose that trust we have built. Rules once in place there is no changing , I have the right to add or amend if asked but I am head cheese.

There are no Dominants or Masters I know of who would agree to have their property topless at a gathering and be at other Dominants beck and call. I would never allow such a thing to go on.

Finding the right partner is hard enough for Dominants , Master , Slaves and those who are submissive. You cannot go back on your word.
In the end our partner , our submissive , our slave , our property, we are the only ones they can turn to and they need to know we are going to be there.

Again I am not here to bad mouth anyone. I did read in the rules though exceptions would be made if contacted and in my case there were no exceptions.

cuffed

Vile

When Your Life Self Destruct’s

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, anti depression medication, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Mentor, Bipolar, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, control, Depression, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, Master, Master And Slave, Self-Discipline, slave, Submission, submissive, Vile Woods on FaceBook on December 10, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Things get crazy at times , life gets crazy , work and even family. Then at times it seems friends or co-workers want to dump their life in your lap hoping you can fix what ever is wrong.

I talk about Depression a lot , and that is because it seems to play a huge role within our lifestyle.
While it is true there are those who do not suffer from depression or anything , I do believe the numbers are pretty high.

The good news is with the right care , the proper medication , and the right partner in the lifestyle or not , things can and will flow pretty smoothly.

When things go wrong or not as planned this is when things get complicated , but there is really no need for it.
It seems when things get a little crazy the thoughts get a little crazy and here comes the confusion.

Arianna does suffer from depression and we have been pretty lucky the last 2 years or so things have continued to have a upward swing.

It is not to say things do not get a little crazy because they do, but what ever is going on is controlled and controlled very quickly.

When I first met Arianna I went to a few of her Doctor appointments hoping to speak with her. The Doctor declined which I found kinda weird but anyway it was time for me to step in.
I found Arianna a new Doctor someone who would talk to me, we changed up the medication a little and WHAM as good as new.
There is always room for improvement but if you can find stable ground you pretty much just chill.

A couple of months ago I lost a friend in the lifestyle due to depression and she was only 23. She had spent a long time being abused and I am sure she felt like she had no one to turn to.

23 Years old she had a whole life ahead of her and there is no telling what she could of accomplished in her lifetime.

You can have friends and still feel like you have no one to talk to. You can be in a room full of people and feel like there is no one to talk to.

You can become depressed in a split second and you do not know what put you in that frame of mind. You ride it out and in a day or so your back to normal.

The health issues I have talked about over the past few years is a topic that should come up when you first meet someone. I have a list in my mind a mile long and at the end of the conversation I have much to think about before I want to commit to a relationship as I did with Arianna.
Arianna was not a split second decision , entering a relationship was something I had to give a great deal of thought.

I myself get into down and out moods from time to time, I get quiet and I am just thinking and really thinking about nothing, and it does pass.
I am not on any type of medications nor do I need to be. As of right now I am in a good place and it will continue to get better.

Depression can be bad , it can be really bad and at times people take the easy way out. That is not always the answer because I am a firm believer anything can be fixed and I do mean anything….

Knowing someone is truly interested in you and not just your cock sucking skills makes a world of difference.
Knowing that someone is working towards putting you back on the right track makes a world of difference.
Someone stepping in and taking up the slack makes a world of difference.
Someone who is willing to communicate with you , makes a world of difference, someone who cares about your thoughts and needs makes a world of difference.

There are a lot of factors that come into play when your in a relationship and not just a D’s or M’s relationship. The structure , the drama , the consistency , and helping you reach your goals.
Positive reinforcement

Being depressed does not mean you are broken , it just means you need a little more support. There is nothing wrong with that.

There is only one thing you need to get straight in your life before entering a relationship , and that would be your life.
It is not fair to someone to enter a relationship and you just dump your baggage in the living room and say hey fix it..
It is not fair to dump everything on someone and expect someone else to fix something you fucked up

If your in that depression mode , you should not even being considering entering a relationship , again it is not fair. At this point and time your problems are not for someone to fix, you have to fix yourself.

Being open and upfront about your depression and the problems is causes should be brought into the conversation when meeting.
This will give the Dominant time to decide if this is a path he wishes to walk or just tell you its not for him.

Looking for a relationship is one thing but looking for someone to rescue you in much different.
The rescue Dominant and there are a lot of them out there , but those relationships are very short lived because many bite off more than they can chew.

Before entering a relationship come up with a check list, and check things off one at a time until the list is completed.

Depression if your meds are not working then maybe your due a change or even another Doctor. Because if your on the wrong medication nothing is going to help.
Most Doctors today just want to push pills instead of getting to the root of the problem.

Always have someone you can talk to a close friend we all need one of those. We all need someone we can confide it.
That is very important and will help you stay a float when times are bad.

The submissive should have a mentor in the lifestyle a female mentor.
Most Doms who want to mentor subs or slaves are just out for ass.
A female mentor is going to understand you on much more deeper levels , you will also want to share more.
A female mentor has no motive when it comes to helping you.

Medication , you can be on the right medication but if your with someone who is just toying with your mind, it will no doubt put you in a bad place.
You want to make sure the one your with has your best interest in mind. If your just being used they are not going to care what state of mind your in, once you become a liability to them , your going to get dumped anyway.

To keep things on a smooth tract and it is possible , you need to have certain things in place, again things such as structure , rules , you need daily routines , and none of these things mentioned are hard it is just finding someone who is willing to devote the time that is needed..

You can prevent any of the above if you just sit down and think things out, and talk to someone.

Life is meant to be good.

self_destruct_large

Vile

If I Control Your Mind

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, anger, Anger Issues, Arianna, bdsm, being used, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Conversation, Depressed, Depression, Dominance, Dominant, emotional, Emotions, FaceBook Vile Woods, Humiliation, inhibitions, Master, Master And Slave, molding your slave, Patience, Protocol, Respect, Rules, Safe and Sane, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, submissive or slave has rights with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 15, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

How much of her submission do you want ? Have you ever wanted a Slave or submissive who has no inhibitions? Have you ever wanted a slave or submissive who is 100% compliant ?
Have you ever wanted a relationship where the word argue is not in either ones vocabulary?
Have you ever wanted a Docile pet, Baby Girl, submissive or slave ?
Do you want someone who will follow you without question ?

The truth is you can have all of the above and more. The bad news is it takes a little work on your part, the Dominant, yes you are going to have to put in a little effort.

You know I was chatting with a Dom on Facebook the other day, and he told me his life was basically a wreck, and when I told him he needed a plan, he laughed at me. He laughed and he meant it.

If you the Dominant enters a relationship and you are true about what you want and need, and your willing to put your slave or submissive first, dedicate the time that is needed, you can have anything you want, and I do mean anything, and without question.

Some of you are going to say dude your full of shit, there is no such thing as a relationship like that is there?
I am here to tell you I am living the dream, and you the Dominant can live the dream as well.

BDSM is not about pain or how many bruises you can leave. BDSM is not about humiliation. BDSM is not about barking orders. Most of all BDSM is not about demanding respect or submission, it is about earning both.

You can never demand submission, it does not work that way, but some have it in their mind, I am Dominant and you will submit.
You may luck out and find a submissive who is down and out with a low self esteem, who will follow you for a short time, and meet your silly demands, but that bull shit is so short lived.

Control, that word openings up a whole new world. If your truly in control of yourself, your life, your surroundings the moon is the limit.
Being in full control, you will earn respect, you will earn the right to be called Sir, or Daddy even Master. Those titles what ever they are worth are earned. If you have to demand they mean nothing, nothing at all.

So we go a little deeper, instead of telling someone to crawl to you, or having trouble enforcing rules, not wanting to follow rules.
Why not have someone who wants to crawl to you, or someone who has the need to follow rules, the need to please ?

A D’s or M’s relationship is really easy, it does not require any drama, , no yelling, no getting angry and losing your temper. Just being who you say you are, just doing what you say your going to do, and keep your word, and be nothing but truthful….

Being truthful will help you earn the trust that is needed, and earning the trust will also lead to submission.

One thing that gets to me, is a Dom will say you must always be truthful and he is living a lie. You cannot expect someone to be someone if you are not who you are suppose to be…

This strategy will not only work is a D’s or M’s relationship but much of this can work in a vanilla relationship.

We as men, Dominant or not, we have to value our partner , we have to respect and be thankful for who and what they are, because in the end they are the only ones who will have our back in a time of need.

If you control their mind , for the most as well all know BDSM is mental, BDSM is communication, BDSM is about control and not controlling, BDSM is about having patience, BDSM is about understanding and caring about ones needs.

Being able to fully understand your partner and what makes them tick.
Being able to let your partner rant or share their thoughts without getting angry. Being able to understand when they are feeling funky and just letting them alone for a while.
You would not believe how many arguments could be avoided by using this practice.

You have to learn when it is okay to ignore certain situations and when some needs to be addressed.

I screw everything up, it is all my fault, I did it, I cant do anything right. Come on you have all heard this.
There are times when you just stay quite and let things pass, instead of drilling to find out what is wrong.

I mentioned how important the journal is, this gives the Dominant a great tool to find out where his slave or submissive is coming from.

Communication, several times a day I ask Arianna what is on her mind. She knows this is free time, she can share her thoughts and we talk about them.
Even if it is something that was brought up before, we should be open to talk about it.
Well we have already talked about that so there is no need to bring it up again.
Sure there is and it may have greater importance this time around.

This is how we access the open communication. The slave or sub will feel they can now talk about anything and everything.
This is also a step in the right direction when it comes to trusting.

Although we want to know what they are thinking, we want to know why they are thinking it. I know it sounds complicated but it is really not.

I mentioned the first 90 days of training. The training process is more effective if the two are living together.
Reason being there has to be some form of consistency while training if not , the process can take much longer. The 90 days does not mean training is completed because it never really ends.
As we grow we learn, and the more we learn the more we share. We also want our property to grow as well.

Living together allows you to put rules and protocols in place and the Dominant can be sure they are being followed.

If you the Dominant are in the right frame of mind, your property will want to follow without question.

Getting into the mind that is where you want to be. You should know your property inside out. You want to learn things they have never told anyone else.

Whether you know it or not when you the Dominant shows anger this is a weakness, and it is a weakness they slave or submissive will use against you.
These are buttons that can be pushed and will be pushed. Anger controlling anger take a lot of control and self training.
You want to figure the slave or sub out, what makes them tick, their thoughts , their needs, but if they ever figure you out, it is game over, and showing your anger, and being abusive, be it verbal, mental or physical, you just might as well pack up your bags.
Being happy in a relationship is one thing, but a submissive no matter how happy they may be if they are not getting what they need, it will be found somewhere else.
I know I am speaking from experience. Once you lose that control, it is nearly impossible to regain, I know I lost.
The best way to start is to think before you speak, think about how it is going to sound coming out of your mouth.

An angry mans words are a calm mans thoughts, that is true, just like a drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts. So thinking before we speak, taking in that deep breath, really makes a world of difference.

The calmer your are, the more in control you are, the greater the submission will grow.

What many of us fail to see is there is no right way, we all have different needs, finding the right partner to fill that void is the right way.
The last thing we should do or want to do is try to change someone. We can improve but to change is not fair…

mind

Vile

BDSM And Drama

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Safety, Cheaters, Cheating Dominant, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Conversation, Daddy Dom, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, Drama, Ego, emotional, Emotions, Humiliation, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used with tags , , , , , , , , on October 10, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

First before I get started I wanted to share some breaking news.

U.S. airstrikes “are not going to save” the key Syrian city of Kobani from being overtaken by ISIS, said Pentagon spokesman Rear Adm. John Kirby.

Now on the good side of things. US Airstrikes were successful yesterday hitting ISIS targets.
The US hit 4 Toyotas a Chevy and a Hurst . While this may not seem bad. ISIS did take a hit on their credit score according to credit Karma. The 4 Toyotas were leased and ISIS did not have Gap Insurance. The Chevy was stolen so it did not count.
It also turns out the Hurst was the remaining band members of the Greatful Dead on tour in the middle east.

I would like to say I believe we are moving in the right direction.

I would also Like to apologize about a post I did last week.

If The Truth Hurts Go Fuck Yourself.

That post was not in my character , and I should have never posted it. I let someone upset me, because they Blasted my name out in a public forum.
While the outcome disappointed me it also did the same to Arianna. Acting out in such a manner is just not me.

The last thing you want or need when entering a new D’s or M’s or any relationship for that matter is a boat load of Drama.

It is not fair to you if you enter a relationship and someone just dumps their fucked up world in the middle of your floor.
Here you go now your part of all of my bullshit, for anyone to do such a thing is really self centered , non caring, and very selfish on their part.

If a Dominant cannot control his own life, how can he control you ? If a Dominant cannot take care of his own problems, if you have any how can he possibly help you ?

Any Dominant is in full control of his life, be it at home , at work, or out in the public world.
A Dominant will not show any signs of anger, or aggressive behavior. The more in control the Dominant is, the more you are going to be willing to submit, once he has earned your respect.

A Dominant who is not in control and has a lot of Drama will put all the blame on you. Everything will be your fault. You will be the cause of the problem is the relationship does not work.

Ego this seems to be a problem going around our Happy Little community. If your Dominant is ego driven he will never have your best interest in heart. You will never be his number one priority.

A Dominant who wants to share you has a huge ego and probably knows nothing about the lifestyle.

Before entering the relationship you have to put ground rules in place, and you need to stick by them. If being shared is a hard limit then speak up.

I spoke with a Guy last year who said before his slave could come back she would have to agree to a bare back gang bang, by the men he would choose.

So where does the concern about her health come into play? Is or was he really looking out for her best interest ? I would say no myself.

Being forced to be shared can cause you harm if not physically it could do so mentally as well, and you could end up dying in the end.

Keep drama out of your life , no matter the connection you think you have. Because if your relationship is causing you heartache , and problems there is really no connection.

drama

Vile

Earning Ones Submission

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, anger, Anger Issues, Bad Dominant, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, Cheating Dominant, Commit, commitment, communication, conceded, control, controlling, Daddy Dom, Depression, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominants who suffer from depression, emotional, Emotions, Fake Dominants, Health, Humiliation, Married Dominant, Master & Slave, pussy, Rules, self confidence, Self-Discipline, sex, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, sucking cock, Total Submission, TPE, violence, you have to train yourself with tags , , , , , , , , on October 6, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

First of all I would like to apologize for yesterdays post. That post is not who or what I am. After being called out in public by someone who clearly has no clue about submission or the lifestyle just really set me off.
If it had been a private email things would of been much different and probably not even brought up.

At one time I just expected submission, if you were submissive you belonged on your knees with a full mouth. I did not want to hold you, I did not want to hear about your day, I could care less about your family or friends. In fact I did not even want you to speak unless you were cooking and wanted to know what I wanted to eat.

Those who are true slave, and submissive’s are not weak, infact those who wish to submit are very strong, and most are very intelligent, but for some reason some see it as a weakness, and some Doms prey on such.

So it took me from about the age of 14 until I reached maybe 31 to realize there was so much more out there.

The truth is when I looked at a woman , I saw three holes and nothing more. You were only good if you were on your knees, your back or ass in the air.
Aftercare was unheard of, you know fuck that. If you want aftercare hold your pillow.
That was really my train of thought. Women were put here to suck cock, cook and clean.

I remember being out in California, I was seeing this little Blonde, well okay I saw her once. As she was sucking my cock in the Mcdonalds parking lot while I was eating my big mack, I didn’t even let her finish. I pulled her up by her hair and looked at her eye to eye, and I asked, what the fuck are you doing ? I am sucking your dick. Um no your being stupid and your broken, I started the car and she asked where we were going and I said I am taking you home, then I am going to jack off.
If you wanted to hang out you were going to suck my dick, or lay on your back. That was really my train of thought.

By the time I left Korea I knew how easy it was to get in someone’s head. It was so easy to play off of someone’s emotions. Once you were able to find that emotion button, it was game on, until I grew tried of her, which was maybe a week, that was a long term relationship to me.

When I first met you within the first 5 minutes, I knew if you sucked dick, and took it up the ass, if you answered no to any of those two questions the conversation was over.

Although I was active in the community, it was really hard for me to hookup with anyone at the local events, because they all knew me, and what I was about.

My early 30’s my train of thought began to change, as I began to have more interest in submission. I wanted to know what made them tick, what made them think, and why they needed to be submissive.

Over the years I have seen a pattern, this does not include EVERYONE so please take note.

I have had the privilege of meeting a lot of slaves and submissive’s , and one thing I have noticed , while each is very unique many had something in common. Many suffered from depression , anxiety , and even bipolar while most were on medication there was a handful who were not.
Many of these women tend to trust way to easy, thus making them an easy target.
The one major thing they all have in common is they are looking for security, they are seeking a home, and someone who will provide structure and safety.
Under the right circumstances many will adapt without question.
I can assure you that you will not find a more loyal partner. All we have to do is provide the right setting.
I have said in the past the first 90 days are the hardest but that is not always the case, many will fall right into place with the proper communication.

Trust is a huge issue and many are willing to turn over their life to you, in hopes you will take care of them.

If the Dominant is truly interested in you, he will have a long list of questions.
It is up to you to answer and be as honest as you can. If the answer is no, do not be afraid to say no, do not say yes just to please.

You should never allow anyone to demand you call them Sir , Master or Daddy. The Dominant will know it will come in time, he will know he has to earn your trust, and respect.

I know twenty years ago I didn’t care what you called me as long as you were on your knees. I had the attitude a woman had three pussy’s and they were just used as a cum dump nothing more. If I wanted to see you again I would say so, but I would make it clear I was not looking for anything long term.
Hey Vile can I come and visit? Sure you can if you plan on sucking cock I could use the company, that was the attitude I had, but I never lead anyone on.
Today I am not sure why some men have that need, why they have the need to lead on. Make someone believe something that is not true.
Well I plan on leaving my wife, yea we all know that is bullshit because if he was going to leave his wife he would just do it
Trust me I am not having sex with my wife. Really ? Get the fuck out. There is pussy in his bed and it is not free so he is fucking her.
My wife said I could see other people. Okay fine let me talk to her, since she does not care.
Yea then his cock sucker shuts up, well um not today or its okay she just does not want to know.
Okay when are you leaving? Why have you not left already if she is such a bitch ?

Last, a man who has a temper, a man who has a drinking problem, a man who is cheating on his wife , a man who is abusive , mental or physical , a man who lies.

Listen to me, that man is no Dominant, that man is no Master, That man is no Daddy Dom. In fact that man is nothing at all, he is just taking up valuable oxygen others need..

If a man cannot control his own life how can he control someone else?

Someone said the other day I am an egomaniac , and that statement is so far from the truth.
I may be a little cocky at times, but in real, I am just very confident.

crying

Vile

If something is earned you have so much more respect. There is no greater gift than earning someone’s submission.