Archive for the communication Category

As A Slave Or Submissive

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Anger Issues, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Bondage, communication, Dominant and Submissive, Domme, fuck hole, Giving Head, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Humiliation, Low Self Esteem, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Meeting a new Dominant, Slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock with tags , , , on May 14, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

Where do you want to be ? What do you truly want ? How do you see yourself in a mirror? What are your goals ? What so you want to accomplish in life ? What are your dreams? Dreams are real , dreams are reachable , dreams can come true. How much work are you willing to put in to make those dreams come true. If you think about it nothing is free , if you sit and wait for something you fall out of the sky you will end up being alone.

Why do you not share the above with a potential Dominant or Master , maybe a Domme? Why would you put your life on hold for one man or woman ? A good Dominant will stand by you , a good Dominant will push you to accomplish everything on your list , he will push you and push you hard because he as well knows nothing is free. Those who keep you locked up away from family and friends is selfish. The Dominant who keeps you isolated lives in fear of you leaving , he does not trust , he does not want anyone else influencing you. He wants to be the word the only word you listen to. The Dominant has a low self esteem, and all of this equals abuse and nothing more. The abuse may not be physical , but it is mental and physiological. This does not include just the lifestyle this happens in a everyday vanilla relationship. Calling you names , screaming at you , spitting on you. You feel as if you can do nothing right and this is where he wants your mind to be.

The I can fix you Dominant , what he is saying is all of the above , because the truth of the matter is very few want to take on such a responsibility .

Sex is no longer fun because you are seen as a object you feel like a object and while your being fucked you just want it over so you can go shower and wash his stench away. You cook , you clean , you do laundry , you pick up behind him , in fact you do everything his mother did , with the exception of fucking.

You spend more time sucking cock than you ever have , your mouth is just another hole. He blows his load and gets up and leaves. You spend more time laying on your back taking what he gives and you get nothing out of it. You are punished for no reason , the rules change on a daily basis without notice. You take pain because you think your suppose to, as you lay in bed and glaze at the bruises , wondering how in the fuck did you get here?

A true statement there are many who continue to make the same mistakes expecting different results. There are those who are only interested in the bad boy look but you are treated the same way time after time, until it becomes the norm.

Older single Dominants tend to flow towards the young subs and slaves. This is purely fantasy and nothing more. What does a 50 year old Dom have in common with a 18 year old sub? He is more interested in getting his dick sucked and fucking than he is looking out for your future. Why is this you ask ? Well just read the above or maybe just maybe you already know its true because as I am typing this you are living this very life.

You think you are just a fuck toy , you believe you are meant to be used anyway he sees fit. You believe you have no rights when in fact as a submissive you have the right to say NO , but you live in fear , in fear of being alone , in fear of not being able to take responsibility of your own life, being able to live on your own. If you stay it will only take a few years to realize how many dreams have slipped though you hands and you believe everything is your fault because you are told this daily just how worthless you are.

Family and friends are a important part of your life these are people you have more than likely known your whole life but now you find yourself alone standing before one and one only.

Before meeting your new Dominant you have so much information to share but this is put on hold before even meeting. He is more interested in the shortest skirt you own, do you wear high heels, how often do you go without panties? You are told what to wear , you are told there will be no eye contact, you are told he will order for you, and for the encore you will suck his cock in the parking lot and you both leave. You spent maybe a hour and a half eating and listening you only got a few words in. You leave after taking a mouth load and he knows absolutely nothing about you with the exception you suck a good dick.

You have put your life on hold , you have put your education on hold your dreams on hold and if you think your going to end up with the little white house with a fence around it with a dog and kids you need to slap your face. You have put your whole life on hold because you were afraid to express your feelings , you were and are intimidated.

If you are active in the lifestyle you will notice there are way more single Doms than there are subs and slaves. These Doms have been single for a very long time and you ask why? Because they fall under the above they have watched 50 shades , read stories , watch porn , read stories and that is how they see the lifestyle.

At some point you have to be friends , at some point a little of that vanilla has to come out but maintaining the same level of respect. You have to be able to sit and talk , you have to be able to communicate.

The sex is fun , the bondage is fun , the spanking is fun , the slapping , being pissed on , humiliated all of this can be fun but in the end you have to be best friends. You have to be able to talk as adults , you have to be able to express your feelings , your thoughts and concerns.

I love dinner time , the three of us sitting on the back porch eating , no cell phones, this is our time to talk. Both ask permission to sit, both wait on me to take the first bite before they begin to eat. Then comes my question directed at Lynn. Is there anything on your mind that you would like to talk about? Those words open a very deep conversation between the three of us. This is the time to air everything , thoughts and concerns, we also talk about schedules and things the girls would like to do and on what days. Both have a calendar , everything is planned out a month in advance. Both sit down together filling it out , buying little stickies and stuff to decorate.

I am in full control of my home , I know every move each make , both have mileage note books everything is logged leaving and destination and at times ill ask one to bring it in and leave it for a day, and when I get time I will look through it. I allow no drama into the home, I handle problems before they become a problem.

There is one difference , I give each free time , time to wind down be with friends and family but they both understand what is giving is a privilege and it can be taken away at any time…  Everything is a privilege , everything is earned nothing and I mean absolutely  nothing is given.

I support both in anything they want to do, I listen , we talk and when we talk it is a open discussion, but I can only make a informed decision based on the information given to me.

You must always come first no matter what. Your dreams , your feelings , your thoughts , your life must always come first without question….

You can paint your own future.

Also visit

https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/

 

A Slave Needs Down Time

Posted in abuse, Arianna, Bad Dominant, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, communication, Dominant and Submissive, fucking and sucking, http://bestslavetraining.com/, Insecure Dominants, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Self Pity, Slave, Submission, Submissive, submissive or slave has rights, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , on April 18, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

While at a munch 3 or 4 months ago there was a topic on relationships , the different types of Doms and submissive’s. Asking Arianna what type of Master I was she said I was like the Rock star , meaning the way I am treated.

Speaking with someone else the topic come up about men helping around the house and I said I do stuff. I was then asked what I did and my mind went blank.

Think Vile , my mind was going crazy and I came back I just do stuff ok drop it. Driving home with Arianna and Lynn , just out of the blue I said I do stuff ,Arianna replied yes you do Master.

On my days off I love cooking , when I cook it is something special , I generally spend the day preparing and cooking. So yes I do stuff leave me alone.

Then we turn the page and we look into our submissive’s life our slave , our property. If you the Dominant would just take a moment and sit down and reflect on just how much your submissive does and gives it might just give you a different perspective.

We want everything just right, we want everything in place, we want our glass full at all times. Then comes the kink , the bondage , fucking , getting head. We use when we want , how we want , where we want.  With me my sex life is like HBO on demand , I take when I want anyway I want, at anytime I want and any hole. We as Masters want to be able to snap our fingers and BOOM its done. We want rules followed , protocols , and we punish when something goes wrong.

Arianna and Lynn has a calendar and it is filled out daily I keep track of everything. There are also request days , usually a month out. These are days I give for both to be able to go out and let go , relax , clear their heads.

One of the most important is family , I am Master but family comes first no questions asked. Friends come into play everybody needs friends and our property deserves that time.

There is a breaking point , kinda like running a race horse till it drops, not giving it any down time , running it into the ground until it just drops. You stand above wondering what happened.

I need down time , I need to be able to clear my head , I need to relax , sit down and blog while jamming out to AC/DC Live at the river plate. Pouring myself a nice brandy firing up a good cigar on the back porch..

I am not meaning to get under anyone’s collar but to keep your property locked up 24/7 is not fair and if you do there will come a time when you wake up alone. It is not fair to keep your property from their family and friends.

There are only a few types of Dominants who would not allow downtime , free time, time to see family or friends. You are talking one day a month really and you are that concerned ?

The Master is insecure , the Master is controlling , the Master does not trust. The Master has a ego problem. I am going to guess it is the first being insecure.  Being insecure can cause a lot of problems down the road again your property is going to take only so much.

We want our dick sucked on demand , we tell to spread not ask , bend over I want the ass. We use different object , toys really anything we want. So why is it not fair to give that down time?

I control everything , hair color , hair length , nail polish , fuck even makeup. I control what both wear , I control shoes , everything is on my dime, everything is on Viles watch , Viles time.

I am secure , I trust , if I cant trust I don’t need you. If you fuck around you need to make sure he is the one you want because that is who you will be living with.

If you cannot trust why in the fuck would you of even entered a relationship? It makes no fucking sense to be spending so much time wondering who your property is fucking or blowing. If the cheat you know , you have to know if you know your slave .

If you are taking care of business you have no worries. If you are insecure , if you do not trust , if you keep locked up 24/7 then you have something to worry about. It is not a question of how or why it is a question of when. There will come a time when your slave says fuck this shit I am done.

You the Master wants 100% at all times no questions asked , the bad news is we as Masters have to give back 200%, yup we have to give back more than we take.

Keep pushing that button and one day the spring will break and you will have to replace it…  Keeping someone locked up 24/7 is abuse, you might as well beat their ass. If you are insecure works on your issues figure out what is wrong… Do not make your property suffer because you have short Cummings….

 

The Slave

Posted in 24/7, Arianna, Bad Dominant, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Online Relationships, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, Being A Dominant is 24/7 365, blow job, cock sucking, codependency, codependent, commitment, communication, consequences, Dominant and Submissive, Ego, Face Fucking, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Humiliation, Humiliation Training, Kink, Low Self Esteem, masochist, Master And Slave, Online Dominants, owned property, Owned Slave, Poly Triad, Private Protocol, Punishment, self confidence, sex slave, Slave, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock, Total Submission with tags , , , , , , , , on April 9, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

Sitting here listening to Bret Michael’s jamming with friends , and it fucking rocks. Music is a passion of mine , it is my release , it is my time to chill , gather my thoughts , enjoy my own little world.  Ted Nugent , KISS , Aerosmith , and some country at the top of my list Kid Rock. I love the cheesy kung fu movies that comes on Thursday nights. I am a huge news fanatic so if there is something you want to know just ask.

I am very laid back for the most , I have never raised my voice or lost my temper towards my property. This is not to say I am a push over because I am not , I speak my mind no matter where I am or who I am with.

I am a Buddhist , I have learned to channel my anger but as with any man or human there is a limit. At one time I had a very bad temper , I drank a lot , you could hand me a bunch of pills  and I would not even ask what they were I would just take them. I tried to smoke all the pot in the world but I failed. I would smoke and someone would just grow more. I was on a down hill spiral with not a care about tomorrow or the future.

A Dom who has a temper is not a Dom he is a abuser and nothing more. A man who hits a woman out of anger is a pussy because he will not hit anyone who will not fight back. A Dom who will not allow you to ask questions and want answers is not a Dom. A Dom who does not allow open communication is not a Dom…

However that road of destruction ended around November 1986. October and November I lost my first two jobs after my exit from the US Army. I went cold turkey I stopped everything at one time not looking back… I thought for sure I would of had some type of withdraws but that was not the case, however I did lose most of my friends or I assumed they were friends…

At this time I was living in a small town called canton Ga. It had changed a lot being gone for ten years. Most of the people I knew had moved or changed so much we no longer had anything in common…

My Dominance is a gift and I mean that. A gift means I am taking time out of my life and offering a gift. My gift I am setting my time and life to the side and offering you security , I am offering a sanctuary of peace no drama , no arguing . I am offering you respect , I am offering you me. I am offering you a open door 24/7 , I am offering you communication 24/7. I am offering you stability , I am offering you protection. I will allow you to grow and I will conform to your needs. I will take the time out of my life to train you to fit my needs. I will not take advantage of you , I will not mislead you , I will admit my mistakes. I will offer more than I take but most of all I will always put you first.

Wow! looking over the list and it could of continued I am sure with enough thought. I just wanted to crack the door open and let people take a peak inside.

Both dominance and submission is a gift both have much to offer and prove. I am of course speaking of the beginning steps in a new relationship.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master/slave_(BDSM)

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.

I am at a later date going to speak about our triad , we now live as three and while there could be some improvement things are really going well. My time training is limited due to my work but Arianna has stepped up to the plate and is offering guidance .

The Slave has a different mindset than a submissive. A submissive can and has the right to say NO. The submissive can impose limits on the relationship. The submissive can have the choice of when and when not to submit.

The word Slave , the word ownership , the word property. We all know owning a slave is not in any way legal but it is a mindset. The slave kneels holds her hands out and says I am yours to take and use.

You have to want it , you have to need and crave, it has to be in your blood. You have to live, dream and walk with this deep need and desire.

Arianna is a very unique Slave , during her training there was no rejection , there was no resistance, I could see in her eyes she had a hunger. To this day she continues to seek ways to submit more to give more. Everyday I grow with her everyday my respect grows. As my needs change Arianna conforms , but as she changes I conform to meet her needs.

Giving yourself without a thought having that feeling of being completely owned. Willing to be trained to fit someones needs and wants. Being used as a sexual object at the drop of a hat. You can be loved but in the end you are owned property.

Now I sit looking back over the years and thinking about the transformation , thinking about the growth. Watching someones habits change, watching needs change. More than willing to follow rules , protocols and understand there are consequences for her actions. To this day Arianna continues to search and find ways to submit more , she has that need, it is something she craves.

You the Slave must be in the right frame of mind and have a understanding what is about to take place. You must be willing to have over your mind and body and be willing to hand over complete control without question.

Are you Domestic more service orientated ? Are you just going to be used sexually ? Are you a Masochist used for pain? Or are you a mixture of all rolled into one?

You also must be giving a clear understanding what is expected of you , what your training will consist of , how long your training will be. You will want to know what the final goal is.

Trust is the main factor in building a Master / Slave relationship. The slave knowing once she or he agrees to the terms negotiated during the process.

You have to know most of your rights will be stripped away from you. You must know you and your body will be used , without warning. You will be taken when and how your Master chooses.

However and there is a however , you should still be allowed to see friends and family , a slave needs what I call down time. A time to relax and breath , to be able to clear the mind. A time to reflect on past and future.

We as Masters and Dominants take and we must give back more than we take. Probably two or three times a week I tell both Arianna and L that I really appreciate everything they both do. At time I do help out as well. On my days off I cook and at times I even jump in and do a few dishes.

A Slave is not your maid although the slave will be giving chores to do , A slave is not your mom. I pickup behind myself. If I use something I put it back. I do not demand dinner be done at a certain time, both know when I take lunch , If I am going to be late they eat before me.

Many just sit back and look for reasons to punish and my question is why? We can just sit back and find something wrong and the first thing that most grab is a belt or paddle.

Although I run a strict house punishing is something I do not look forward to, just as a parent feels bad for punishing a child.

We as humans , Masters and Dominants make mistakes maybe not on a daily basis but we do. Slaves and submissive’s make mistakes as well but nothing more could be more devastating known they have failed.

As with the 7 types of Submissives there are just as many slaves , but also there are just as many Dominants or Masters..

The service slave is more geared towards service , cleaning , cooking , and keeping things in order. Although sex does play a part service is their main goal. Just knowing their Master is pleased gives them pleasure.

The sex slave can be a little service orientated but is geared more at being used as a sex object , at times no holes barred. The sex slave gets off more knowing they have pleased than them getting off. Most sex slaves will conform to what pleases the Master and urge those actions more.

The Masochist in most cases is neither just as a full blown sadist. Very little structure , very few rules, it is all about the pain and the pleasure the sadist gets out of inflicting pain.

The all around slave a mixture of all of the above , a slave that needs a little of all , being used , in service and at times stepping up to take what pain is giving..

We as Master need to step up to the plate , owning one of the above takes a great deal of time and responsibility. We must make ourselves available 24/7. Arianna knows she can wake me at any time to talk.. We must give more than we take.

Being codependent does not make you broken , being needy does not make you broken , having a low self esteem does not make you broken in fact many times it makes you special.

I have heard many times I am broken or I am not worthy of having a Dominant or Master.

I myself prefer the needy part even the codependent , it is just knowing how to handle and being able to offer the care. Short term neither play out good if both sides are not ready to commit.

I have found very few Dominants or those who call themselves Masters who are truly willing to take any type of relationship serious or willing to take the responsibility needed.  These are the guys who hide behind the computer , the trolls who really have no clue. Once they find someone who is gullible enough it is short lived . The crazy rules the unrealistic demands , the confusion of changing rules just so they can punish.

Training is very time consuming just the initial training I am going to say 90 days with hands on contact on a daily basis. In order to be in control you have to be able to reach out and touch. Online training does not work , it works as long as the computer is on and you have 24/7 contact then it is still iffy.

You have to have need , the craving to be owned , the craving to be used , the craving to be called property. The craving to be able to hand yourself over completely.

The hardest part is the first 90 days it will tell you number one if you are just going through a frenzy or the life of a slave is not you….. It is easy to throw in the towel and give up , it takes a lot to stick it out , but if things are not what they seem , the raise the white flag and say I am done… No shame your just being true. I can assure you the Dominant you leave is not the last in the world.

I believe at times humiliation is needed , it is needed to bring someone back down to reality. It is meant to give a shock , kinda like sticker shock when looking at a new car. It brings someone ego back down to earth. Even during my relationship there are times I will use some form of humiliation to keep things in check , it puts them or reminds the slave of their place..

The word USE I use my property , I use my property for my pleasure , even during fucking I use the word USE , I love using you , I love fucking my property , I love fucking your ass. I like the little reminders..

We live a micromanaged relationship as most of you know. I control everything. I control hair color , I control the length , the nail polish , her clothes . I control the way she walks , talks. I control how she acts in public. I control bathroom , food , bedtime , shower , shaving. I receive a hourly check in 90% of the time with pictures. Both girls have a mileage book although I do not check it on a regular basis it is there if I have the urge to look. I have no passwords , I see no need mainly because I am secure enough in my relationship. However I will at times pick up the phones and strum through them.  If you as a Dominant has the need to demand passwords you do not trust and you have a very low self esteem.

If you the Dominant are insecure how can you control someone and your ego not be behind the force of your relationship? A relationship based on insecurities and ego will be short lived and you brought it on yourself, but you will sit in a corner and cry like a little bitch. Even in a relationship when things don’t go your way you still act like a little bitch.

You cannot be a part time Master , you have to be a Master 24/7 365

If you noticed I did not speak to much about Kink , or Bondage. My relationship runs much deeper. While at times I enjoy getting rough , at times I enjoy bondage , at times I get off on sexual abuse , face fucking being my favorite, then anal. I am more about the control , I love being in the mind. I love the structure . I have a life with zero problems and zero drama.. I love my life

New Dominants your best source for information http://bestslavetraining.com/

Oh My Ride

 

Grow up and be a man…

 

 

You Want My Dominance

Posted in abuse, are you submissive, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, relationships, Slave, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock with tags , , , , on March 26, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is just in general but I have posted in the past about a Dominant having to earn Submission, having to earn trust. Those are huge task and task that really takes dedication.

When we turn the page there is a very different view , a view into a whole different world. I myself work on a earn system , you want my Dominance you earn it. You learn to communicate… You learn to express your feelings , your needs.

Someone can only make a Decision based on the information giving.  We as Dominants are not mind readers , and I know myself I am not willing to put that much effort if the other party is not willing to do the above.

BDSM is not just about sex although many think along those lines. There are those who are that simple minded, or those who have no set goals in life or those who do not wish to better themselves.

We are only giving one life , one thing that is for sure we do not know when the end is coming.

You as a submissive or slave expects the Dominant to give 110% , why would you think a Dominant would expect any less?

The kink is good , the bondage , the cock sucking , spanking , humiliation, but all of this comes with requirements from both.

There are just as many women who abuse men as there are men who abuse. In my day I have met some gold digging bitches. I have met those who lied and knew they were lying and just looking into their eyes and agreeing. I was thinking how stupid they would feel if they knew they were lying to me.

I was not born yesterday my degree comes from the street. At a younger age I learned early on to watch , listen and observe. I knew how I wanted to turn out and how I did not want to.

You wake one morning and hit a website on submission and all of a sudden you are on a mission from hell. You join dating sites even like Match hoping to find a Dom , you join kinky sites in hopes of finding the right one. The thing is nothing is going to fall from the sky and in comes a knight in shinning armor. If you are not willing to put a little effort in looking you are going to end up with the wannabes , the abusers. You wont listen to anyone even when asking for advice then you find yourself in a car sucking cock and pushed out the door when he blows his load in your mouth.

If you want something you have to work for it, if something is just giving there is no appreciation , there is no value, there is no need.

You spend hours sitting on the couch with your cell in hand waiting on that text , that email and in the end it never comes.

Getting your ass beat does not equal submission , sucking cock or taking it up the ass does not equal submission… That may be your way of submitting and if it is you are very sad.

You can be submissive but giving up that control is a different subject. You have to be able to share your thoughts and needs. Putting on a collar means absolutely  nothing if it was not earned.

You want a relationship that has meaning , you want a relationship that has substance. You want to be able to reach out and touch.

No one is going to rescue you , if a Dom is willing to tackle such a relationship it is to feed his own ego. All decisions come with choices and consequences. Rescuing you will fix nothing and entering a relationship when your life is just fucked up is not fair. I will not fix you , I can give advice , I can give you my opinion it is up to you to decide what is right and what is wrong.

There are those who have known nothing but being miserable , depressed , drama infected, Problematic you create your own poison then you want someone to clean up your mess.

You have to be willing to give all , while I do not fully understand those who live as a part time submissive I do respect that if it is you. If you are a bedroom submissive be up front and truthful.

It is easy to fake it till you make it but that will only last so long. You may have good intentions but no idea what path you are wanting to take or no idea who you are.

You have to need rules , you have to need structure , you have to need protocols , you have to be willing to work and build a relationship. You have to have the need to be trained.

There are those who have been used as a object your entire life and know no better, you are not able to see the mistakes but still wonder what is wrong.

There are those who move from one abusive relationship to another not knowing any better or how to fix it. Maybe it just seems like to much work or will take to much effort. Your drawn to the same type of men expecting things to turn out different.

I use to think that if a M’s or D’s relationship ended it was the Doms fault but it can fall on the submissive.

Dominance is a gift just as Submission it has to work the same on both sides of the fence.

In my home it is my way and my way only , if I need advice or maybe looking for another idea then I ask, but in the end I make the final decision.

In the end just be you.

You Want The Pussy But Not The Responsibulity

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, anal sex, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, codependent, commitment, communication, Dominants, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Protocols, pussy, Slave, Structure, submisive, Submission, sucking cock with tags , , , , , , on February 19, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

There are idiots everywhere , and there are people who think with their Cocks as a matter of fact their cocks run their life. If you were to cut the mother fucker off they would be lost.

Why do most people associate BDSM with abuse ? Because of the above the idiots , the retards who want the pussy but not the responsibility.

Those who play the game , those who hurt people because they have no clue, just take out a flogger and start swinging without a care. Those who rape because you think they want to be forced. Those who see Submission as a weakness. Those who want the control but give nothing back.

I have zero respect for those Married Doms or claim to be Dominant. Think about it if they were so Dominant they would be running their house , but that is not the case their wife better known as Mommy take care of them.

Something I hate some stupid fuck makes a comment and leaves no way to contact them or respond to my reply.

FullPotato

There are still core behaviors consistent to all humans. While everyone is an individual, they still share humanity’s foils.
Where is the line between domination and abuse? Are those interchangeable terms? When does the master/submissive/slave relationship change from positive to negative? In-fact what constitutes a positive relationship?
This fuck has not a clue about the lifestyle but has read enough to know there are millions of fucking retards who are predators , those who abuse.
I have blogged about Married Doms probably 50 times or more out of almost 3000 post and not one , not one has stood up and said a word or justified his reasoning .
You who are submissive seeing married Doms and that is cool as long as you know he will never divorce Mommy. He is with you because his wife will not take it up the ass but you will. The minute you become needy he will drop you like a bad habit.
If and when a Dominant takes that step into a brand new world your life changes , it is like hitting puberty all over again. Your thought process changes , your needs change , your wants change, and the type of woman you are looking for changes.
It is like starting elementary , stepping up to middle school then high school , you never stop learning.
I watch , I listen and I observe. I never want to stop learning each day is a new experience . You learn by others mistakes , you learn by thinking before you act , you learn by thinking logically, you learn by taking responsibility for your own actions, You learn by knowing your decision affects two and just not one.
The main problem with a new Dominant is he kinda knows what he wants , he has envisioned the role , the things he wants to do , but his thoughts are purely sexual. He has not sat down and thought the whole process out. His rules are sexual , demeaning , humiliating , rough and thoughtless. He has not thought through the emotions that will come out , nor the neediness , and in some cases the codependency side of the submissive. While thinking about having a slave non of the above has come to his thoughts. The Dominant will become defensive , he will start losing his temper pushing you away , calling you names, then comes the end he explains you are not the one for him.
One of the first things I tell a new Dominant is to find a mentor 1 out of a 100 will take that advice and 1 out of a 100 will succeed. The other 99 will put the blame on the slave because she was not a true slave , her submission was fake.
These guys fail because of a lack of knowledge and a lack of caring. These guys will move from slave to slave to slave and he will find something wrong with each one because he is not willing to put the effort into building a relationship. These guys are only interested in getting their cock sucked , fucking someones ass , just using until she is no longer fun or he just gets bored.
Building a M’s or D’s relationship is not an easy task if you are serious and have a plan. Before handing out any rules you have to know the Slave inside and out. You have to know what makes her think the way she does. Again this takes the want , this takes effort and this takes a need.
As young Dominants we all had the same thoughts when it came to rules . You will never wear panties , you will always wear a skirt, you will worship Master Cock, you will be ready for inspection at all times, your pussy must be shaved at all times , your ass will be ready at all times. Then we hit the Dominant Puberty stage and our thoughts change..
The truth is with a little planning , a little need , a little caring both can have the ultimate relationship but both have to have the need. The Slave the need to submit and serve , the Dominant the need to take control and responsibility.
I run a very smooth home , there are no problems , there is no Drama but most of all there is no arguing. I have more protocols than I do rules , as a matter of fact you can turn your protocols into rules. Rules are meant for self improvement , rules are meant to keep your slave on a straight path. Both rules and protocols are to be followed and it is the Dominants responsibility to insure the Slave follows and he has to let the Slave know there are consequences if a rule or protocol is not followed. In public a Slave is a direct reflection of her owner.
You want sex on demand , you want your cock sucked on demand, you want anal sex on demand. You want everything on demand but you have to give back more than you take. You have to be willing to take the good and bad. You have to be willing to stay consistent on a daily basis. You have to be willing to communicate and listen. You have to be willing to talk to your Slave and not at her.
The question that comes to mind is , is there a such a thing as a perfect Slave ?  Absolutely there is and we The Masters create that perfect slave we mold to fit our needs and wants. We as Masters create our own world , have have the ability to control our life , our surroundings , and even out in public. If you are going to talk you have to be able to walk the talk,,, Hmmmm did that come out right?

Men With Low Self – Esteem

Posted in bdsm, communication, Confidence, Low Self Esteem, Slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , on February 15, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was not sure what to blog about this morning , I just left the Tag office two weeks ago I bought a 1977 Grand Prix from my brother and it is in nearly pristine condition. So now I have a cup of black coffee and I am listening to Kid Rock, Live Trucker. One of the best entertainers of the decade. Smart , very talented , and he knows how to market himself. One thing that really stands out is his confidence.

Over the past year ive talked to Doms in the lifestyle who were single or in a relationship but still lacked that confidence thing. One Dom made the comment once the slave reached a certain point she would up and leave because he had nothing more to offer. Why would you make that statement in front of you’re property ?

There does come a time when the submissive or Slave becomes dependent of her owner. There comes a time when one becomes needy. The only way a Slave would leave is if you just done something really stupid.

Although you the Dominant are in complete control there is a fine line you have to walk , your property is watching you , your actions , you’re thinking, how you react towards others when confronted. You can push a slave to the point of no return. The Slave can feel and knows if you have her best interest in mind.

Anyway

 

The bookshelf in the bedroom is packed full of books on how to boost your Self-esteem , you have books on how to pickup women , books that provide pickup lines , you’ve spent thousands of dollars on CD’s on how to pickup women , and you have probably seen a shrink a couple of times , but night after night you end up home alone. You join supports groups with others who have the same issue going on, sitting around hearing how pathetic others are trying to make yourself feel better. You spend thousands going to work shops , attending motivational speaker sessions who rake in millions  , profiting from you’re own problems.

The real problem is not your self esteem , the real problem is rejection , being told no or to get lost or you do not have a chance. Rejection is a Mother Fucker, you become depressed , kinda worthless deep inside.

You go home to your nasty apartment , dishes piled up in the sink , clothes scattered everywhere, you order a pizza because you don’t cook , turn on some porn and jack off imagining you are fucking the chick on the CD you bought , when in fact you could be fucking her.

While I was single I had a small house and older one I think it was one of the old Sears homes they sold in the 50’s and 60’s , ah I forgot to mention it was in the Hood, 99% predominantly black. It was not long before I had made a handful of good friends , this was due to them knowing I was no threat , and I showed respect. There were some nights I went to bed and left the door unlocked.

My point being that is where I lived , I kept it clean , I enjoyed cooking , this was my kingdom.

A few months back my slave and I went to visit a friend or maybe just a acquaintance , but once we entered his apartment we just both kinda looked at each other, the place was a disaster. I was scared to sit anyplace it was that nasty. Gentlemen  this is a total chick turnoff.

Rejection is a Mother Fucker and it haunts some , makes some cry, and some even act like a turtle hiding their head , or maybe a ostrich sticking you’re head in the sand.

Those books you bought , those CD’s you bought , those groups you joined , the money you spent going to seminars , you might as well of raised the lid of your toilet and flushed all that money down , because everything in the above statement is someones opinion , and their opinion is making them rich.

Before you go out stand in front of a mirror and look at the way you are dressed and ask yourself who would date me dressed like this ? You’re hair are you well groomed ? Your shoes ? Are you still wearing polyester from the 70’s ?

My first sales Job was at a Dodge Dealership , I knew absolutely nothing about selling cars , but there were two things I picked up on . One if people drove on the lot they intended to buy. Two the system was rigged when it came to favorites and that is a battle that is hard to fight. You know who has the most fucked up credit in the world ? Cops yup cops have the most fucked up credit and they look at you surprised when you tell them you cannot sell them anything.

Sitting at the table one day a man was looking at a Dodge 2500 a fucking nice truck. I filled out the paper work and his wife was sitting there telling me how much they were willing to spend a month and not a penny more. I came back with the first numbers knowing he was going to say no but she was the one who spoke up and said no. I came back a second and third time , she stood up and said we are leaving while he sat there and said nothing. I looked at the application and I said to his wife you forgot to add you’re income , maybe we could get a lower interest rate by adding yours. She looked at me and said I don’t work I am a stay home wife. I looked at the application again and her husband worked on a oil rig in the gulf. I stood there thinking and I said I am going to go get some coffee , and I think you two need to go to the bathroom and give you’re husband back his Balls. The next day I clocked in at work and the sales manager ran up to me and said stay away from Mr Brown his wife hates you. Wow I really made a good impression , thank you.

Low self esteem , because his wife had beaten him down so much he felt he was worthless. Good for her.

I have had men tell me , man that chick is out of my league. I ask, what the fuck makes you think that? Oh I just know she would never go out with me. Something or someone has drilled this into his head.

You walk into the mall and and you see this hot babe at one of the kiosk and you are scared to walk up and strike up a conversation. Yea the truth is , she is probably  single because all guys feel the same way you do.

The fact is all that money you spent on those books, CD’s. Motivational speakers , you could of bought some awesome floggers , paddles, handcuffs , some nice lingerie , dildo’s butt plugs , tens units and ready to get your kink on.

The truth is it really does not matter what you look like , yea well okay there is a limit I suppose, but 99% of the time it does not matter.

It is about confidence , it is about standing tall , saying what you mean and mean what you’re saying. If you walk up to that chick standing in the kiosk who is doing nothing because shes not selling anything . You strike up a conversation , if you can hold her attention for 5 minutes you are in like flint. This is when you say hey lets catch some dinner. Chances are she will say yes. If she declines remember what you have learned kick the dust and move on to the next. Rejection is a mother fucker , even when you feel like you have lost that confidence , fake it til you make it.

Let her talk , you listen , she wants you to listen she wants to talk. She does not want to hear about your comic book collection , she does not want to know what a fucking genius you are. She does not care about the giant bug collection you have. In fact at this point she probably does not care what you have. You ask questions , find out what you have in common.

Throw those books away , what you are reading is someones opinion and chances are their own advice did not even work for them.

You could decide to go home to you’re cat sit home alone and wonder what the fuck is wrong with you. Feel sorry for yourself , feeling pathetic or you can man up take the panties off and be a real man.

Confidence will get you laid you can forget POF , Match, get like Nike just do it..

 

 

Rules And Training

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, cock sucking, codependent, Collar, communication, compatibility, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, MAST, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Submissive being used, training your slave on January 17, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

I get emails from Submissive’s and Slaves asking me questions about training and rules. Meeting Doms for the first time.

You meet on a dating site you send messages back and forth and the Dom hounds you for your phone number until you give in.

The first questions are how long have you been in the lifestyle, you state you are new to the lifestyle but you want to learn. BOOM first mistake you are hooked. You start texting back and forth hes not really asking questions about you he is more interested in what you’re limits are , are you bi sexual ? Do you swallow ? Do you do anal ? What is the shortest skirt you own ? Do you ever go without panties ? How often do you masturbate ?

So after being hounded you agree to meet because you are tired of the pressure. The place is classy probably a Denny’s in the corner . He has instructed you to wear a short skirt with no panties. You have second thoughts but agree after all you want to make a good impression. You are instructed certain time to text because the Dom is busy with work and works really crazy hours and when you do text most of the time it takes several hours to get a response or even a day or so.

When you meet the Dom still knows very little about you or you’re family and friends , what you enjoy doing in you’re spare time, music or food , just the kink side of things.

You are instructed not to make eye contact and you are told to address him as Sir. He does most of the talking mainly because you are afraid to ask any questions even though some of it does not sound right.

He spends a great deal of time just talking about himself , and bragging about everything he has done and ask very few questions about you.

Most likely hew ill pull out a collar he bought at Walmart or petco and throws it at you and you are now owned..

Now you’re training starts you walk out and get his car he unzips his pants and you are instructed to suck his cock. Keep in mind you have no clue who this dude really is, you have no clue where he lives because you do not have his address, you don’t even know where he works, and you are about to suck his dick.

You know in you’re mind this cannot possibly be right because you are seeking more but you will blow him just to please. These are guys who do not have a clue nor do they care about you or the out come.

The most difficult about training is being able to sit down and out a plan together. What worked with the last relationship will not work on the next. Every Slave or Submissive has a different personality , they have different needs and the out come of the training will be different.

You’re questions , why do you want to train me ? What is the end goal you have in mind ? What am I going to get out of you’re training ? What are you going to get out of training me ? Now this next question will stump a Dom who has no clue. What are you’re protocols public and private ? What type of structure will you provide? Do you have any Ex issues ? That is a huge biggie many Ex’s still have a hold on his belt. Am I going to come first ? Will I have 24/7 access to you ?

A few of the first questions a Dom will ask before even knowing you’re favorite color is are you Bi ? Are you poly ? Do you mind if I see other women ? What are you’re limits ? That is usually the first or second question believe it or not. Do you swallow ? Yes a lot of women do not. Do you like Anal sex? Everything is about sex and nothing about you.

To train you is to know you , You say you are a Slave but maybe you are not sure so there are questions that has to be asked and you have to be completely honest.

To train you is to know you , how you think , what makes you think the way you do, you’re habits , the likes , the dislikes what areas if any need improvement.

This should be you’re train of thought , although I have needs not wants but needs , my main purpose is to serve and please. The train of thought should be if my Dom is happy I am happy. Second you have to be sure you are getting the whole package.

There was a conversation about training but you enter the relationship and nothing changes. The only thing that has changed is he is barking out orders and he likes to beat you.  This is where communication comes in you should and have the right to ask questions, you have the right to get answers. If you ask a question and you get yelled and it happens on a regular basis then maybe you need to rethink you’re situation. Never I mean never let feelings get in the way of happiness that will fuck you up every time.

You have to be truthful from the start , if you tell the Dom you love being fucked up the ass and when it comes time and you freak out it will not be good. Honest you have to be honest and not honest just to please.

The Dominant has to be honest , once rules are giving out they are set in stone. Down the road a Dom may revisit the rules and maybe there is one he feels you  do not need any longer. Once rules are in place a Dominant will not change just because he wants to punish you. The truth is a Submissive or Slave will strive to be the best they can be. Mistakes do happen I know this and so do other Dominants.  If a Dominant has enough protocols in place very few rules are needed if any. Protocols are the driving force of structure.

When you first meet a Dominant you meet on you’re terms and you’re terms only , you can even go as far as picking the place somewhere on public. You pick what you are going to wear and how you will address him. Many will demand that you call them Sir. That right is earned after you have full respect for them and not until. Submission is earned not giving. Most Doms who have no clue will try to give you a collar. This shows the fuck is a total idiot and nothing more. The collar is picked up from a pet store or walmart and is just tossed across the table and you are told to put it on, you are now owned lets start you’re training.

I have had failed relationships some I did not care about others I lost sight of direction, or I was stumped and had no idea which way to go. I knew what I wanted and needed but had no idea how to get there. I could picture the type of relationship I wanted but was stuck in first gear. Most relationships at that time were just a matter of convenience. I had pussy on a daily basis and someone to suck my cock. I knew going in it would not last and would only be around until I got bored or she got to clingy.

A dominant is not born over night , it is not something you just wake up one morning and say hey I want a submissive. There is growth , the wisdom, learning to control the anger , and finding ways to divert the anger to funnel it out of your system. Learning words are far worse than being physical. Bruises go away words do not, not that I condone being physical no man should ever hit a woman out of anger.

Observation , asking questions , thousands of questions , Observing , learning , communication , learning how the submissive thinks learning what they think the way they do. Learning their habits , their needs, their wants. Tv , music, hobbies, reading the submissive like a book. Once you have that down you can begin their training. Training that will be effective , training that will benefit both.

You Guys , you Dominants , Masters you can have anything you want , you can have anything you need, you can have anything you have ever dreamed of, it just takes a little effort on your behalf. You have to be willing to put as much time into building the relationship as you want out of it. One thing you cannot take more than you give, if you do it will never work..

Good Info. http://bestslavetraining.com/