Archive for the communication Category

Imagine A Perfect World

Posted in 24/7, Arianna, bdsm, Being A Dominant is 24/7 365, commitment, communication, Dominant, In Service Slave, Master And Slave, Slave, Submission, Submissive, training your slave, Uncategorized with tags , , , , on December 29, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

Imagine a world without any problems , or imagine a world with the perfect partner , the perfect submissive , the perfect slave , is it possible ? Imagine having zero drama , imagine no arguing , imagine receiving perfect service with no complaints , again is it possible ? Absolutely it is and more but with all of these rewards comes a little work.

The submissive or slave you have chosen to serve you was born to serve just as you the Dominant , Master or Owner were born to lead . Little did we know it would lead us down the road of kink.

Just because you meet a slave does not mean the slave is meant to be with you. Both have to have somethings in common outside of the land of kink and service , if not kink will be the only thing you have in common and the relationship will be short lived.

Knowing the slave , knowing the slave inside and out is very important before taking that step.  You have to be able to form a relationship based on friendship first , then slowly introducing kink.

If you start with kink then you have nothing else to build on , making conversation hard , making communication hard and it makes it hard for the slave to communicate when the time comes.

Nothing comes easy , everything we have we all had to work for. In a relationship if we do not work for it , at some point and time it will fall apart. Any type of relationship requires regular maintenance , if we do not in the end it will fail.

Learning to communicate is not an easy task , we all know how to talk and hear but to be able to communicate and listen requires practice but most of all it is something you have to be passionate about.

The problem with most D’s or M’s relationships just starting , is the lack of compatibility. If either have a need or needs and you give one or more up during the negotiations , in the end you will not be happy. Just because you are submissive does not mean you have found the right Dom and you can reverse that as well. As humans it is a need to have a companion and at times we tend to settle for less knowing its not going to work.

Try to picture a perfect world , your own world , a world you have complete control over , then you add the perfect relationship and both are attainable.

Meeting leaving sex out of the conversation is a must , and while it is hard to do it will prevent you from reaching your goal.  Knowing who you are trying to form a relationship with is most important. The problem is most men see someone who is submissive as weak and that is far from the truth. Men are natural hunters , the hunt then the kill and its over you move to the next.

I cannot stress enough on how much training will make a difference. One of the first words out of a Doms mouth is I am going to train you , then nothing happens. Training is mental not just for the submissive but the dominant as well. The training you used on the last will not work with any future relationships. The personality’s are different , the needs are different and the structure needed.

Making your slave your number one priority , the slave comes first and yes before family and friends. The life you have always wanted is right in front of you but now there are things that will come to an end. The life you have always wanted is kneeling right before you , hands face up laying in lap. It is you who has made the decision to take ownership.

Molding the slave to fit your needs and wants can happen but as with any relationship you have to put work into it , but living a Master and slave relationship will be much different. While in a vanilla relationship you did not train your partner.

You are going to mold your slave , walking , talking , how the slave stands and sits , even when it comes to sex. You will control how the slave dresses if clothed , hair color and nails.

I have always been a firm believer to train a slave you have to be able to reach out and touch , be able to look into the slaves eyes , the eyes tell all , the eyes tell the truth. I have not seen to many LDR relationships really work. Although today you have email , text , face time , you are still not in 100% control. Again I did not say all , just from my experience.

During the negotiations you present your needs and wants . Since you have I would assume giving the two a great deal of thought then you should stick to your guns. Once you give up one need you have become fair game and you will lose other needs or wants.

When out at local events there are those who take notice. When out I have 3 protocols that are followed. 1 do not speak to anyone even if spoken to , 2 speak when spoken to and 3 you are free to speak and have fun. People take notice how the slave stands , sits , how one is dressed , hair makeup. My slave is a direct reflection of me and my training , and when out my slave dresses like she is walking the red carpet.

I do not have to explain myself when I maybe change a rule or add a protocol but my slave may ask for clarification.

You the Dominant can have the life you want but as with anything nothing is free.

Vile

 

 

 

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My Soul Searching

Posted in Adapt, anal sex, ass fucking, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Behavior Modification, blow job, commitment, communication, compatibility, consequences, Consistency, Dominance, Dominant and Submissive, Dominants Protocol, feminism, fucking, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, masochist, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, molding your slave, Safe and Sane, Slave, Slave being used, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock, Total Submission with tags , , , , , on November 25, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

Before meeting Arianna I was single for a little over two years , my you it was by choice. I had spent that time in doing some deep soul searching and I needed to find out a few things about myself. One who was I , I mean really I needed to know who I was in terms of the lifestyle. I cant remember back far enough when I had what you would call vanilla friends and my circle of friends in the lifestyle well I could count on one hand. There are reasons I keep my circle so small , one being if my circle is small and I am in contact with someone on a regular basis and I know I can turn to them ,  then I can consider them to be a friend. Even social media like Facebook or Fetlife I am not a friend collector , after all what is the point of having 2000 friends if you are never in contact with them?  Two I needed to find out what my needs were , what type of relationship did I need to have to keep the fire inside going ? Three what type of woman did I need in my life , was it a submissive ? Was it a Slave ? Or the last thing that popped in my head was she to be property ? There are clear differences between the three and each Dom or Master or owner differs as well , after all we are all different.

Knowing those three things before you enter a relationship is very vital when it comes to having any type of successful relationship but more so when it comes to our lifestyle.

Now during the 2,5 years I was single I did date and the dating process was so I could eliminate what I was not looking for and again I wanted a better Idea as to what I truly needed out of a partner…

One date I remember submissive saying I do not swallow , now sex was really down at the bottom of my list but to tell me you are not going to do something is a strike , and another no anal for me I get nothing out of it. It was obvious we had different out looks when it came to a relationship because it was not about her it was about me. I do not like bondage it does nothing for me , another I do not like humiliation it takes me to a bad place , the list went on and on. So at the end of the dates I would pay for the dinner and explain we were way to far apart to be able to come to any type of an agreement when it comes to a relationship. You mean because I do not like anal you do not want a relationship ? You are 100% correct that would be a need for me and while anal is not at the top of my list I may at times go a month or so just ass fucking , but of course then I always want to finish in the mouth. ATM is my favorite word..

Being a Dominant just did not fit me , this is mainly because a submissive has the right to say no. Being a master there are still negotiations which meant something on my check list could be marked off , yes such as no anal , or no sex when I dont feel like it or I am to tired. Tired really ? All you have to do is lay on your back I bust a nut and get up and you can go back to being tired.  I am to tired what the fuck does that mean ?

I wanted the word NO wiped from ones vocabulary , I cant , I wont. I wanted and needed full control over someones life, I would be responsible for taking care of everything , I would meet ones needs but then I expected my needs and wants to be completed again after all it was about me.

First entering the lifestyle the first slave I met was a total Masochist and needed humiliation just to survive , now how awesome was that ? Well one would think they struck gold but in time I found the Humiliation to be difficult because each time I had to out do the last. The pain part I learned where I could hit and where I could no that my friends is very important because you can really fuck someone up and try explaining that to a Judge. Sherrie wanted a relationship but I did not and while we dated for almost seven years I never not one time fucked her , yea that is the truth. Now she did however suck a lot of dick and I mean a lot but I never fucked her. I did fist her pussy and ass she really got off on that. I would stop by her work and insert a coke can and come back several hours later so I could take it out.  Driving down Hwy 95 in Daytona one time we were pulled over , and I am thinking what the fuck. Sherrie was sitting in the passenger seat butt ass naked holding a huge ass dildo. So the cop walks up and looks in the car and I am thinking this is not going to be good. He simply asked if everything was ok and Sherrie said yes. She was giving a ticket because her tag had expired. The cop never said anything about her being naked , I am guessing the size of the dildo did shock him because it took two hands to hold it.

Years and years past since the late 80’s and while I thought all of my relationships were on spot they were not and each one failed because of me. They failed because I was not willing to commit the time needed and it was pretty much one sided , which now it is pretty much one sided but what makes it different now is I give back , on my terms..

Now you are thinking the kind of relationship you want is impossible. You would never find a slave who would just submit to your every need right ? The key word is patience , good things come to those who wait and most of the time just like my now relationship Arianna fell right into my lap out of the sky. Speaking to a Dom one night and him and I are pretty close with our thoughts when it comes to ownership , anyway we were talking after a MAsT meeting one night and he stated I was lucky and just like I thought he said it was like Arianna fell from the sky as a gift.

I have been very blessed over the past 6 years and knowing many more years to come is more of a blessing. I am also blessed to live with not one but two women Arianna my slave and Lynn our submissive. Arianna completed most of Lynns training taking a huge weight off of my shoulders. Our house runs smoothly and without a glitch , both girls get along with each other.  There is zero Drama and zero problems yea sometimes I cannot believe how smoothly things are going.

Negotiating our relationship was really pretty easy it was my way or no way. I was straight forward and to the point. The thing that blew my mind was Arianna said one word, Okay. That threw me off for a few minutes but I did not show it. Arianna then explained her needs , now in order for me to get what I want I knew I had to give back and her one and only request was to be micromanaged. This was a area I had zero experience in , even asking others in the lifestyle I was told it was way to much work let her go..

Remember the slave must adapt to your way of living , your life , your needs and your training.

Training is something I take very serious and I put a lot of thought into it. What worked for the last slave will not work with a new one. The rules are different , their personality is different , their mindset is different and of course needs. If all the needs are met there are no wants.

I asked the question several times are you sure ? Are you sure this is the path you want to take? Each time the answer was yes and so our journey began.

I am more of a Mental Owner , in order to control someone you need to be in their head , you need to know what makes them think the way they do , their habits , why they have those habits. You have to know their reasoning , now that part is deep. You have to know what makes them think the way they do. Once you are inside as confusing as it may be you are now in full control. The hard part is knowing what to do , when and why. If you fuck something up you gotta fix it so be careful.

What I do in a sense is strip one of ones dignity , I take everything away that was a need and turn them into privileges. I took all clothes away including when company came over , again depending who it was. I took all furniture away including being able to sit at the dinner table. I controlled shower time , bed time , food that was prepared. I controlled hair color , nail polish and I controlled what clothes would be worn outside when we did go out.  I controlled the way she sat , how she spoke and who she spoke to. I used her and used often. I used without a word , I used every hole , I let her know I was taking what was mine.  The slave is yours , your property , you own after all they gave you that right. Use and use how you want and when you want. While I am not a huge fan of Humiliation I do use some form during my training , again this is to reinforce our positions within the home.

Breaking a rule must be a serious offense , the slave forgot to text this is part of training. There is no reason to go off the handle. Training is about changing habits and depending on who you are working with you are looking at 90 days or more before most things catch on. We as owners must show patience.

Keeping that mindset , putting protocols in place and staying on top of the protocols , ownership is not a 9 to 5 job. As Dominants , Masters and Owners we must be available to our partners 24/7 no questions asked.

The one weakness that can kill a M’s relationship is when the Master feels guilty about punishing , or slips and does not stay on top of things , begins to let rules go without consequences. Once you change and your property has seen the difference it is impossible to turn back the pages.

The words I wish I was a better Dom or a better Master , I am sorry I am a failure. Think about those words yea pretty pathetic and your property may not say anything but the same thoughts are there. There are thoughts you keep to yourself , it is actions and words you share. The property looks up to us , not only for a relationship but guidance , direction and depends on us to keeps the rules we have put in placed enforced..

I had thought about Blogging about feminism but as stated above I will leave that as a thought..

Vile

Communication

I Am A Dominant Call Me Sir

Posted in A slaves passwords, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, communication, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, Slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , on October 28, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

You are new to the lifestyle and very excited to learn everything you can but most of all finding the One. I hope that you would talk to many but chances are you will end up speaking with only 2 or 3 before taking that leap.. After only chatting for a short time you are giving a direction to call the one you met Sir.

I firmly believe in the lifestyle we need titles , we need titles to identify ourselves when it comes to meeting others. It explains our position in the lifestyle , maybe a Daddy , a Dominant a Master and so on. In the end it is our property who addresses our identity.

Speaking with someone a couple of months ago who is somewhat new to the lifestyle , he had asked me if I could introduce him to a submissive. Being new Dominant in our community can be somewhat tough because there is a vetting process we all go through. I was told by this new Dominant that he was displeased with the vetting process and thought it was not fair. I sent information one being bestslavetraining.com a huge source of information and the other of course my blog here although most is just my opinion but my opinion is based on more than 20 years experience. You do not have to agree with everything but I am sure there are parts you can take and put to use.

So I introduce the Dom to a submissive a very good friend and at first everything seemed to be going well but it soon fell apart. One was the work schedules but my thoughts are if you want something to work it can work if you are willing to make the effort. Once the frenzy fizzled out he lost interest. I asked if he had read the material and he stated he looked over it but was more worried about his own well being , so in short no he did not. I sent it again and received the same answer so I see this as not wanting to put any effort into learning. I also made the point that it was very important to get out in the local community , you cannot just sit at home and hope someone will just walk up to your front door and drop to their knees.

The truth is you are in full control for the most until you decide to submit. The Dominant may make request but it is you who has the final say. You have the right to question , you have the right to avoid any situation that may make you feel uncomfortable.

What do you want me to call you ? You will address me as Sir! By now you may have formed some type of rapport but not near enough for you to have gained enough respect to call someone Sir , unless you were brought up in such a way and just being polite. One who makes such demands again have severe ego and security issues.

Here is the problem , most not all who are new to the lifestyle want to learn but they want to learn on their terms. When a relationship fails the blame goes to the submissive and not the one who is truly at fault.

Things have changes , people have changed but most of all the lifestyle has changed. The new Dominants entering the lifestyle wants the cake and ice cream but do not want to put in the effort.

Recently mentoring someone for a very short time , I found this to be true. What I found disturbing is wanting me to introduce him to someone.  Introducing a Dominant with no experience , nor the wish or need to learn placed me in a very bad place. So I decided to give it a try and I knew someone who I thought might have some compatibility , this ended to be a huge mistake.

You cannot start off on the right foot when one starts off making demands. You cannot start a relationship when a 100 rules stuffed down your throat.  One may be able to start off with a few small rules such as bed time or texting ,  but to hand you a book of rules without even knowing you is insane.

Remember rules are strictly for the betterment of the slave. If it starts out with you having to send naked pics or videos then you should just move the fuck on..

Stay calm and think logical and your way of life will come..

Much Love

Vile

 

Submission

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, communication, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Training your submissive with tags , , , , on April 8, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

What better way to start out than a definition from wikipedia ?

A 1985 study suggests that about 30% of participants in BDSM activities are females.[1][2] A 1995 study indicates that 89% of heterosexual females who are active in BDSM expressed a preference for a submissive-recipient role in sexual bondage, suggesting also a preference for a dominant male, and 71% of heterosexual males preferred a dominant-initiator role

Female submission describes an activity or relationship in which a female submits to the dominance of a sexual partner. The submission can be voluntary and consensual. The dominant partner is usually a man, but can also be another woman, or there can be multiple dominant partners simultaneously. The term female submission most commonly refers to a woman who derives sexual pleasure or emotional gratification from relinquishing (to varying degrees) control to (as well as satisfying) a trusted dominant partner.

I like this.

Submission may be manifested in a multitude of ways whereby a woman relinquishes sexual or personal control to another, such as acts of servitude, submission to humiliation or punishment such as erotic spanking, or other activities, at times in association with bondage. Female submission can take the form of engaging in sexual activity with a person other than her normal partner, as in the case of swinging (sometimes called wife swapping) or prostitution. The level and type of submission can vary from person to person, and from one time to another. Some women choose to include occasional sexual submission in an otherwise conventional sex life. For example, a woman may adopt a submissive role during a sexual activity to overcome a sexual inhibition she may have. A woman may choose to submit full-time, becoming a lifestyle slave.

Where did your journey begin ? Most will say at a very young age , while others are hit later in life , maybe a life changing event , a thought , words someone speaks or maybe you stumbled across a website and you were intrigued. Growing up submissive can at times be confusing because you know you are different but you just cannot figure it out. You may go through your life and never learn the definition of who and what you are. However you do know you enjoy service, you enjoy giving up control , you enjoy letting others take the lead. Someone will say at a young age there where thoughts of older men , or being kidnapped and used. I am not sure if all have these thoughts or just those who are submissive.

In our lifestyle there are a great number who suffer from depression , I have no data this is just from my experience in the lifestyle. I am not sure how the two are connected or if they are at all. Some are willing to share with others in the lifestyle while some keep things to themselves. So this is where the importance of finding the right Dominant , one who understands you and is willing to take the lead and guide.

Depression is not the end even for those who are Dominant , although in the past I have made statements to the contrary. With the right medications and the right submissive things can run smoothly. The problem would be a submissive who is combative , has a short fuse when it comes to temper , not following rules but most argumentative. Many Dominants though will hang on with the fear of losing a partner , the fear of being alone. The greatest fear when it comes to being human is the fear of loss , be it material , or a partner.

The good is you get pleasure by serving , helping others completing task on time and the rewards of being a good girl.

The bad , you are with someone who does not understand you , nor have they ever heard the word submissive or slave , submission. What they see is someone who is weak , someone who will stand and take verbal abuse and at times physical abuse , but after all is said and done you still stand tall and proud.

Some who are submissive not all but some do not really enjoy sex , what they do enjoy is knowing they have pleased. This is where their greatest pleasure comes from. Now do I have any data ? Absolutely not , I am just speaking from my own experiences in the lifestyle. When I meet someone I drill their mind , I want to know more about them than they know their own self. The knowing you have pleased someone , makes sex enjoyable , it makes you feel needed and cared for. You are willing to do things you never even thought of or maybe thought you would never do such things but you do because you have this deep desire to please.

Over the years the different roles have come to light , it is no longer just submissive , slave or dominant or master.  The daddy dom , the daddy dom master , then the master .The baby girl , the little ,Submissive , slave  and the list goes on and one so finding the right partner , someone who understands you is most important. We as humans by nature have to have companionship we need to be with someone even if that someone is wrong , not the right fit but they are filling that hunger for the time being.

How much are you willing to give up ? How much freedom are you willing to give up? Are you going to follow rules and rituals? Are you going to allow someone to take full control? Maybe you need more but your Dom is only dominant in the bedroom and you are more of a 24/7 how would that work ? Are you willing to compromise your needs for a little companionship?

What type of submissive are you? What type of dominant are you looking for ? We are all different , we all have different needs , we all have different taste , we all have different goals.

One of the biggest myths you will hear is a submissive does not have the right to say no. That is a outright lie. You as a submissive determine how much you will give , when you will give and how and where. Remember you are a submissive not a slave but the truth is even a slave can say no if they feel like they are in danger. There is also a on off switch and many times it confuses the dominant. Once you have had enough and you are done the word no will just flow.  Once you are done you are done , the feeling of being submissive for that time just goes away.

There is a difference between fantasy and reality knowing the difference before entering a relationship. Take your time and speak with other who are submissive , stay clear of dominants , but find out what others are thinking and doing. If you do not take the proper steps you could find yourself in a world of hurt.

How do you see yourself ? How do you envision your life? What are your goals?

Meeting a new Dominant you the submissive , the slave are in complete control until you feel the time is right to enter a relationship. You should be his number one priority , you should come first no matter what. If you go a day without hearing from him , you give your first warning. This kind of behavior is not acceptable and will not be tolerated , the second time it happens you drop him like a bad habit, there is no strike three. How long does it take to answer a text? How long does it take to drop a email?

Vile

Anal Sex And Submission

Posted in anal sex, Arianna, ass fucking, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, communication, Dominants, Slave, Submission, Submissive with tags , , , , on January 6, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

There is just something about Anal sex. To me the ass is the most intimate part of the female body.

Bondage , restricting the movement of the body , face down on the bed , lubing a finger and sliding in the ass , then pulling out adding more lube then sliding two fingers in slowly stretching getting it ready.

I am a huge fan of ATM , its almost a fetish but a real need when it comes to submission , there is something about ATM that is taboo. Being something so intimate to me its just not with anyone. In order for me to have sex with someone I have to have a connection , a deep connection. I suppose as we age our thought process changes or maybe not , maybe its just my way of thinking..  There are some dogs out there , men and women who just have that fuck thing going in over drive, but I wonder if they are truly happy or just fulfilling that moment. Then going home alone with a cold empty feeling. We as humans have that need for companionship , then need to be close to someone.  We have that need to be needed even when entering a relationship knowing it will not work, it is for that moment.

Bondage , tight bondage is the ultimate aphrodisiac it puts the submissive in a mindset of being helpless. Gagged and hood adds more , when you take away one or more senses away it causes a type of confusion.

Sex today it seems different , I have talked to some and it seems sex has no meaning. Sex is just a act of physical contact with no feelings or emotions. I wonder how someone could be in a relationship and it last with thoughts like that in ones mind?

I can no longer use the word making love , nor can I have that genital touch although at times I do try and I try , I try because in my mind it is needed , or that is my way of thinking. Just like getting head most of the time I love that slow gentle touch but at times I just have the need to grab her head and just start fucking her mouth.

We all look at sex in different ways , we think different and some consider sex as being meaningless. Sex just being a act with no emotions.

I find my slave when giving head as submission , but anal sex is more intimate to me because I feel it is something or the most private part of the female body.

One of my first questions when I meet someone this is after getting to know the potential partner is how she feels about anal sex? The word no ends the conversation , why? Although sex should not be based off of sex , sex does play a huge role. If you are male or female and you give into a need there will be sometime down the road when it will come up again. Making sure your needs are met is a must and if you give in then down the road you will not be happy.

A sadist meeting a submissive who cannot even stand to wear nipple clamps well do you think the relationship would last? Not it would crumble within weeks because a sadist has the need to inflict pain , inflicting pain is the way the sadist gets off. There are not many sadist who are Dominants , nor are there many Dominants who are true sadist.

Anal sex if done right can be pleasurable for both , the building up , the foreplay , taking your time , not just bending over and shoving your cock up her ass. I myself are guilty of that at times because 99% of the time the sex is about me and me only , I just want to get off and go about my business. This was all negotiated prior to entering our relationship so there were no surprises.

Some Dominants and those who are submissive may not have any interest in anal sex , there are those who are dominant I have talked to have no interest in anal sex because they felt it was dirty , and many of those who made the comments felt the same way about eating pussy. Some even said eating pussy was to submissive or it was a submissive act by a Dominant. I am not sure where those thoughts come from but to each their own I suppose.

In the past I settled for part time submission while I was trying to be a full time Dominant and it does not work. Why should I give 100% and a slave only give 50% or less? Why should I give all and not get my needs met or why should I meet needs while mine are not being met?

I cannot stress enough on how important it is to truly know each other before entering a full blown relationship , then sitting down and expressing each others needs and making sure they are going to be met. It takes very little time to sit down and talk.

You only have one life to play with , why not play it with the ball in your court?

Vile

Journals

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, adapting, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, exploring your slave, http://bestslavetraining.com/, Rules, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Train your slave with tags , , , , on November 26, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

A peak into someones mind , their deepest inner thoughts. How they view life and the world , friends , family , the world. Personal feelings are shared good and bad. Thoughts are shared on the deepest level , and most times Journals are never meant to be read. Journals are a safe haven where one can go and at some point and time in life , they are able to pickup and read again and reflect about life.

The Journals can be a great advantage if read by a partner or a potential partner , unlike just sitting and talking , reading gives us a greater insight on how one thinks, what makes them tick, what is going on inside their head.

Many Dominants when entering a relationship will demand the submissive start writing a journal and many times not even reading. The Journal that is being written for the most is not real. What is being wrote is what the Dominant wants to hear again if its even read.

Seeking ones submission is about getting into their mind , what makes the submissive think the way they do? How life is viewed ? How they feel on a personal level? How they view family and friends? Most of the time the Journal has little to nothing to do with sex , which when a Dominant demands a journal sex has to be included. He wants to know your deepest thoughts when it comes to sex , to include any fantasies , limits hard and soft and why?

I was lucky when Arianna and I first met , she moved in with me relatively fast , I believe it was within the first 6 weeks of meeting. Yes it does seem fast but sometimes you just know.

One day I got nosy and started going through some of Arianna’s boxes and low and behold I found a box that contained Magic. Pulling the note books out I had stumbled across around 18 years of journals. Now at this time Arianna’s training had already begun and we were into about week 2 of training of the 90 days initial training so still a long way to go.

Who cares about the Pussy or if the submissive takes it up the ass or if they swallow. Sex should be on the back burner. What I have mentioned about sex that is part of training as well but there should be other goals in mind after all the Dominant is seeking complete control and ownership. You can train someone to suck your dick to your liking or fuck the way you like to fuck , but lets get in the mind.

You would think a potential Dom/Master would care enough to take a peak inside your life. You would think they would care enough to see where you are coming from. Knowing your habits , your likes/dislikes.

Prior to any type of training the one who is training must have a clear understanding of the one who is being trained.  The Dominant can lay out some pretty basic rules , such as bedtime , texting , emails all of which are forming habits , habits the Dominant may find useful but to dig in to some real deep training the Dominant has to know you inside and out.

Once inside the mind the Dominant has full control providing they do nothing stupid. Making unrealistic demands such as pics from work , or demanding nude videos if the submissive is not comfortable doing so. There is a fine line between something that is Ok to something that is just downright stupid.

Training is a form of Hypnosis , not only protocols but rules and followed are suggestions. Suggestions go a long way when training and note mistakes are going to be made , a lot of mistakes are going to be made and there should be room for error. As much as we would like to say we are perfect we are far from it.

If there are no journals on hand make a suggestion to start a journal , by making a suggestion there is no pressure for the submissive to start one. If they really care then the typing will begin or old school by writing. If the submissive does not care then your suggestion will go nowhere.

Once you the Dominants thinks you have a pretty good feeling about knowing your potential partner and you feel you have the ground work to begin training then move into the sexual area , note try staying away from limits asking one what their limits are really has no meaning because limits change over time , limits change with different partners , of course there are those hard unthinkable limits and we all know those.

Moving into the sex area of the journal to include fantasies , for the most fantasies are just that. Just because the submissive states she has a fantasy about being with another girl it may be just that a fantasy. If the submissive wants to be with another girl you can be sure she will bring it up.

The journal , what does one hope to get out of a D’s or M’s relationship ? Many are able to express more on paper than speaking face to face. Many are able to share deeper feelings than face to face.

Sit down with the submissive once you have read and outline parts that draws a interest and discuss what has been written. Once you bring out the information that has been provided then the submissive will feel as though they can open up after all you are sitting there holding the words that were written.

This now opens the door to sex and other kinks and yes fantasies. Now lets talk about bondage and maybe explore pain , sub-space.

After you have gotten into the mind the submissive will begin to open doors that were once locked.

Check out bestslavetraining.com This is an awesome guide to training your slave and good for new Dominants..

Vile

 

Submission Is A Mindset

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Relationships, Bestslavetraining.com, cock sucking, communication, FaceBook Vile Woods, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Slave, Submission, Submissive with tags , , , on September 15, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

Wow we just recovered from a category 3 Hurricane , what a mess. I slept through most of it , Arianna on the bed looking out of the window with a flash light, only waking me when we lost power so we could set everything up for our salt water aquarium. Lynn was away taking care of a dear friend. The good thing is we now have power back but I did miss a few days of work. Arianna had a rough couple of days a work helping to get everything back in working order, she sent me a screen shot of her health app and by days in had walked over 21.000 steps or roughly 7 miles. Our house has gas so we were able to cook and yes I had fucking coffee. As soon as the winds died down I busted out my grill.. Ahhhh my 1977 Grand Prix was locked away in the garage , but my insurance company had already contacted me before the storm, how fucking awesome is that?

Now to the story

 

There is no one definition when it comes to the word submission , or even a Slave. It does not matter who or what you are you will not find the same pair of shoes or the same size..

Every Dominant is different , every Master is different so there is no comparison, same thing with the shoes all are different and no two pair are the same.

Defining your Submission can only be done by you , you know who and what you are. Even if your exploring you still have a good idea.

Training most in the BDSM community do not take that word very seriously  it may come up but will quickly pass or something may start but then fad very fast, but you the submissive are caught up in the heat of the moment and probably will not even notice.

Mo

The same with a Dominant or a Master we know who we are , we are the one who defines who we are and what type of relationship we are looking for. I spent years looking for that perfect shoe size.

When my relationships did not work in the past I put the blame on the submissive. She was not really a submissive , she was fake , she was to dumb to follow direction. That was was so far from the truth , it was my fault , I was focused more on the sex side of things and the physical play and not the control.

Asking the right questions when meeting a new sub or slave, showing a true interest in what is said.  We hear but do we listen ? Do we process the information that is giving ? Are we taking mental notes ? If you are considering the submissive as a potential partner are you coming up with a game plan as words are spoken?

Getting in ones head , processing their thoughts , figuring out how and why the sub or Slave thinks the way they do. If you do not know someone you cannot train someone.

Ask yourself this question does your dominant know your favorite color? Does he know what type of music you like, movies, food , your birthday? Does he know your brothers name , your sisters or parents names?

The mindset , your mind not your heart needs to want to give up control. I am not speaking of all because there are actually very few in our lifestyle who want to live a D’s Or M’s lifestyle , most again is just kink related , dom and sub while in the bedroom. Once your mind is in place and you have connected with the right one your heart will follow allowing your submission to grow.

Been around for more than a decade one of the best sites for information to date is http://bestslavetraining.com . There are books , there are articles that are written but what you are looking for is a guide , a guide that will lead you in the right direction. Books are and can be good but you are reading what has worked for someone else. This would not be the case for you. What works for me will not work for you.. However you can take ideas and experiment and maybe implement some things..

Capture the mind , you can rule the world , her world , your world. Capture the mind you capture the whole state of her submission. Capture the mind , and you capture the body and mind. Capture the mind and you capture the respect. Capture the mind and she will follow as you lead.

Knowing your limits , knowing where you stand when it comes to play and your body. Negotiations are very important when entering a relationship. This is not something that should take place in one setting. Mean what you say and say what you mean and stick to it.

Saying the word NO for some is very hard but it is a must at times. Even when it comes to friends. Friends will reach out to someone who cannot say the word NO more so than others and many times you get nothing in return. If you do not agree with something then say NO. You do not submit until both have to to some kind of agreement.

Put your limits on the table including the ones your not sure of and the ones you are willing to explore. Be smart but most of all be safe , think smart and logical , keeping your head clear with make you able to make the right decisions.

Your submission is a mindset , your feelings , your needs , you as a whole a mindset.

You and only you know what your needs are , you and only you control your own destiny.

I want to thank each and everyone of you who stop by. If there is a topic you would like for me to touch on just let me know…

Much Love

Vile