Archive for bdsm

While Reminiscing

Posted in bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, slave with tags , on August 27, 2020 by thekinkyworldofvile

Going back to 1992 I stepped out into the public while living in Daytona Beach. I attended my first Munch and it felt good being around like minded people.

I purchased my first computer in 1990 a Aspire from walmart it weight almost 20 pounds. Once in and I figured out what I was doing it was game on.

While my first real experience in the lifestyle was in Korea, I was never able to actually meet someone and be able to sit down and talk about what was in my head.

Early in 92 I met people of leather in Daytona Beach and the way they carried themselves it was with pride and dignity. Picking brains not so much about leather but their life experiences. The Leathermen were quick to answer any questions you might have and welcomed you back if you should have any questions about anything.

Today Being Leather is much different, and for a good many years it was something I sat as a goal, but today that goal has vanished.

Some 29 years later things have change, I truly doubt I am the one who has changed or maybe it is because I refuse to change. If I changed to make others happy then I would not be me. In order to be happy we have to be who we are, trying to make others happy will get you no where.

Many today in the lifestyle look down on those who are in a Ms’s relationship, they have this vision those who identify as slaves are in some way being abused. Most who are in a Ms’s relationship have a closer bond I believe with their master or owner than lets say a D’s type relationship.  Abuse happens in all different relationship even vanilla.

As with all though all should be negotiated so the slave knows what is expected and what will not be tolerated. This is just not something you can wing and make adjustments day by day , who does that?

Looking back over 29 years I grew in the community, in 1992 I taught my first class in Daytona beach at a local much 2 as a matter of fact. Most events I had trouble making due to work and just not enough hours in a day but there was so much I wanted to achieve, I wanted to help so many people to the point I would take submissive’s in who had been abused and helped get them back on their feet never asking for anything.  I was not and never looked for any type of glory but it was the satisfaction of seeing someone able to make it on their own.

Early last year I wanted to find a child in Orlando who was less fortunate and provide clothes , a tablet for school, birthday and Christmas.  I wanted to provide a good Thanksgiving dinner for the family and with a little bit of work from some in the community it could of been done. I reached out to people and pitched the fundraiser and people just stared at me. I was like what we raise a few thousand dollars a year and follow someone through school, how awesome would that of been?

I know I have not changed but I do know in my older years I am somewhat grumpy or so Arianna tells me,  but the truth is I love everyone its just sometimes my words tend to come out sideways.

This weekend is Arianna’s Birthday, I have some special things planned. We are heading up to St Augustine to a nice Bed N Breakfast. Actually today is her Birthday.

I am just rambling now , I am going to start posting more here.

Much love to everyone

Vile

At what point does Training end?

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Relationships, slave, Submission, Submissive, Train your slave, Training your submissive, Uncategorized with tags , , , on August 12, 2020 by thekinkyworldofvile

Many rush into a relationship without any negotiations and often there is no real training program put in place and both just wing it.  I often ask how do you train what are the steps you take and I always get close to the same answer, oh the usual. So I ask a point blank question and I do not get a answer and why is that? Ahh because there is no training, the relationship turns into a do what I say relationship. I will admit there is nothing wrong with such a relationship but do not come bragging about your intense training program.

Often these type of relationships survive from topping from the bottom and the novice Dominant or maybe experienced dominant does not even see it.

Come here and give me some head, then you hear no or I do not feel like it. Go to the bed strip and spread I want to fuck. I am to tired , I am not in the mood, what the fuck is this you are to tired ? My answer would be all you have to do is lay there and keep your cock sucker shut, it requires zero effort on your end just lay there like you are suppose to.

Go get the toys out I want to play, no I am not in the mood nor do I want to play. Come here I want to try my new flogger. No I do not feel like it , or I do not like the flogger.

Come on we are going out to eat, where are we going? We are going to Outback Steak house. I do not like outback I do not want to eat there, I want to go here>

Now why does this happen? Any Idea on why such a attitude? There were no negotiations nor did the dominant really know the slave, he did not take the steps to learn about the slave.

Now at this point it is to late to back track or wait you can but either way the relationship will most likely come to a end. The first thing out of your mouth will be, this is not the way I trained you, and the slave will have this confused look but will agree with you. Then you can put your foot down and explain how it is going to be but this is really not the right thing to try and put in place.One of  Two things will happen, the slave will leave or you will give in to the slaves demands. By the time you get to this point it is to late to try to correct it.

So how do you avoid such a fuck up? 1. Get to know the slave, I mean really get to know, get to know better than the slave knows themselves. 2 Have the slaves best interest in mind, set goals for the slave be it service, work or school always support the slave. 3. Be honest with the slave, be truthful and if you say something mean it and follow through. 4. Negotiate put your needs on the table , while you do not have to explain the training process you do need to communicate your needs in the relationship.  This includes service, play, limits, and sharing. Often times you will find a slave who is service orientated has no desire to be shared. If the slave is not Bi you cannot push the issue, I can assure you there will come a time when the slave will want to make you happy as long as you follow the above. Listen to the slaves needs and this is where it can get tricky more so if the slave is new to the lifestyle. The slave will be clueless and this is where a level headed master comes into play. It is your duty to probe for questions, where does the slave want to be in a year, even five years. What things are most important to the slave out of a relationship. Once you commit  and give your word , your words are carved in stone. This however can cause issues if the two are having problems down the road because you cannot backtrack.

So the question is when is there a point when you stop training and end it? 1. If the slave enters the relationship and a week in or even a month the slave determines they are not a slave. Remember while searching you were looking for a slave not a submissive, a baby girl or anything else you were looking for a slave. It is up to you to step up and say hey it has been nice I wish you well.

The slave refuses to follow your rules you put into place, protocols and becomes unmanageable. Remember physical punishment is not always the answer and if you cross that line you could find yourself behind bars. If the slave becomes bratty and mouthy and you have had open communication but nothing seems to help. If the slave decides they have found they are not really a slave and the slave wants out.

Often a novice slave will enter a relationship and they are clueless and are not giving much information about what is expected nor what to expect. It really takes a lot over conversation, more so a lot of detailed work.

 

Vile

 

 

Pussy Rules The World

Posted in Arianna, Bad Dominant, BDSM 101, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, commitment, communication, Consensual, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Submissive being used with tags , , , , , on June 27, 2020 by thekinkyworldofvile

Recently trying to mentor someone and yes I stated I never would mentor again but I really thought the guy was serious. As it turned out he was not and only interested in how many times he could make a woman cum. Shaking my head thinking this is coming from a 59 year old man.

Pussy is easy to get , keeping it is where the work comes in, and while you guys think you are rocking the boat, chances are she cannot wait for you to bust your load so she can move on to more productive work.

Do not get me wrong I love pussy, the way it looks, smells and taste but most of all the way it feels sliding in but let me make one thing clear. Sex is on my terms and my terms only. I actually prefer head and on a average week , I am being serviced about eh maybe 8 hours or a little more. Lets face it there is nothing like a warm mouth sliding down a dick. Just as with men and all men claim they are the king of eating pussy but that is really another myth. Just like women sucking cock if they do not love it then eh we really get nothing out of it.  I can say though the worst blow job Ive ever had still felt pretty good.

Arianna bless her heart she tries so hard to make me cum but that has only happened with her twice I believe and when all said and done she looked like she just ran a marathon. It is nothing she is doing wrong because if you ever got your dick sucked by her you would beg for more. She has this way of rolling her tongue while going up and down each time is a new experience. She is a fucking machine and can squeeze your dick so hard its like a vice grip but and but again sex is on my terms. I fuck when and how I want just like playing. I tell her the equipment to get out but share nothing else about what I am going to do.

Arianna sleeps naked well because she is not allowed to wear clothes while home unless I approve and late at night the covers come off and there she is spread eagle, and my dick says hey lets hit it.

We agreed when we first negotiated our relationship that there would be no sharing, she made it clear she did not want to be shared with anyone and I agree and why? Remember the oral skills I talked about and the vice grip?

Well that seemed to change for just a short minuet and I will explain. I bought a used car and it needed some work done on it and I had a very good friend who spent hours working on the car and once finished I offered to pay him and he refused the money.

So talking with Arianna one night I brought up sharing again and explained why I was thinking about it and she agreed, she even stated he would really appreciate you giving as a gift. Well he fucked that up, we went away for a weekend the 4 of us him , his wife and the two of us. A real nice hotel on the beach near Tampa and all hell broke lose with the other two. They fought all night long and I was thinking well his loss.

I get asked all the time from those who are novice , do you share? About a week ago a dom I did not even know wanted to take her out to dinner, I was like really are you serious? What was he thinking you ask? Pussy his mind was focused on one thing pussy.

A submissive or slave watches every move, listens to every word and how you act in public and they take in all of this information? Why do you ask? I am glad you did because they are looking for a weakness and why do they look for a weakness?  There will come a time when you can be manipulated with the all mighty pussy and you will cave like a kid at a willy wonka chocolate factory. You would crawl naked through a mile of broken glass just to taste her.

When a Novice dominant or maybe even experienced what comes up first in conversation? What are your limits, do you wear skirts with no panties? The deal Breaker is are you Bi ? Is you are a submissive somehow this dude who just met you , he says you know what? I believe you are a slave I really do and you just listen with confusion.  The list goes on and on and if you are new to the lifestyle you are clueless.

I need all of your information, all of your passwords and banking information so I can take care of you, and you give it , you give everything. Some have commented here before when they woke up their bank accounts were empty.

When you first meet you the submissive , slave you are in control and why are you in control? One your mouth and two look between your legs, yes the pussy. Your pussy controls the outcome of the relationship, your mouth controls the outcome of the relationship.

So the guy I was going to share Arianna with asked me before what it would take to let me let him fuck her. I was joking but I said a 2018 Dodge Challenger RT with a real shaker hood. We were going to the dealership the next morning but his wife blew the fuck up. Would I have done that? I cannot say for sure but probably not..

The power of pussy.

 

 

Mentoring

Posted in 24/7, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Slave, sucking cock with tags , , , , , on May 18, 2020 by thekinkyworldofvile

Times have changed , people have changed and those who take this way of life has changed.

It took me some 25 years to get where I am at today and in this time those who want or claim to be a dominant want it now. While I have had successful relationships, I had many more that failed and the failure was on my part and my part only. I made mistakes and I only blamed myself.

Being inexperienced has its ups and downs, meaning if you speak with someone who has been a slave most of their life they will smell you from a mile away and as a new dominant you have nothing to offer. If you are lucky and hook up with someone new and they know no better you may get away with it for a short time but you will crash and burn.

I did not stay with my mentor for a month , six months , stayed years and when he became ill I moved in and took care of him because I cared and he had dedicated so much time to me.

You have to start out with compatibility , you have to become friends first. Then trust, trust is earned and to this day many do not understand that. A slave in time will turn over body and mind to you and enable to do this there has to be a lot of trust.  How long does it take to build trust ? That really depends on the Dominant and how true you are to your word.

When mentoring the first question that is asked is what about punishment ? How do you punish your slave Sir Vile ? Well my response is I do not , short answer I do not have to. There are times we may have a discussion but there is never a need for any type of physical punishment.

Before entering or thinking about entering a relationship the two have to come to an agreement on how the relationship will work. You will both give your expectations on what is expected from each other. The dominant will lay the ground work on what he will accept and not accept.  I am speaking of behavior , attitude, mouthing off and so on. I myself will not put up with such. Mouthing off or being a brat, and my thoughts are the definition of a brat is a bitch.

If you are a Master and looking for a slave, you cannot look at baby girls, brats or those who are submissive, you look for a slave.

Here is where the problem is, you have a whole pie and you cut the pie into slices. You cut the submissive’s out, then the brats, baby girls and now you are left with not even a quarter slice. This is another problem those dominants who are middle aged are looking for little 18 years olds who are 5.0 ft and under a 100 pounds. Guess what ? Your fucking pie is gone.

Mentoring should be a easy task, we talk and I bombard with information. A couple of weeks later I will bring a question up that was on a site I sent only to be told they had not had a chance to look at it. A month goes by, two months and still no time. This makes me ask myself are they serious about learning or just overwhelmed with the responsibility ?

 

Another first question that comes out of  novice dominant is what are your limits? To this day I do not understand why such a question would be asked because you do not even know the slave well enough . Do you wear mini skirts in public without panties ? The loaded question and many times a deal breaker is are you Bi?

If you cannot take care of yourself, how do you plan on taking care of a slave? One thing that stood out when Arianna first came to my house was how clean it was. I was not looking for a mother to take care of and I was able to pay all my bills including child support.

I read people very well and I can perv Fetlife and find those who I think may be compatible with the one I am mentoring. The killer is once I introduce it is out of my hands. The way things move forward depends on the Novice dominants interaction and it seldom goes well. Recently a nice looking Asian going to school to be a RN and down the road a doctor.  As I was chatting with the dom his words were I got this, well it turned out he did not and even after I tried to intervene it was to late. He had freaked her out asking for her number and texting then making her agree to be his slave before the two had even met.  I was in total disbelief as he was texting me what he was telling her. Now all the blame was thrown on her , it was her fault, shes not a real slave and she will not talk when I ask a question.

So you are stepping out of the vanilla world into a whole new dimension and there will be a lot of struggles, there will be a lot of failures and mistakes but you have to learn from the mistakes in order to move forward.

In most cases the slave will not open up until there is some trust that has been established and your conversations are not about sex or their limits. It takes time to get to truly know someone.

When you first meet you have no rights to impose demands or to instruct the slave to call you sir. The two of you have not come to any type of agreement, the slave has no one to answer to not even you.

Just because she is a slave does not mean the slave is for you. You or both may have different ideas about how a house will be ran, or different goals and yes limits when it comes to playing and sex.

The problem with mentoring someone is once things are explained , once the conversation begins everything they were told goes out the door because the novice dominant knows everything.

The females have changed over the past 20 years and while a little may be true a submissive is a submissive and a slave is a slave.

The novice dominant those who listen turn out great but the majority do not listen and place blame on someone else.

The dominant could have the world at his feet and never want for anything, it is just the being real part.

Ask yourself something, why do you want to be a master?

Vile

 

 

The Novice Dominant

Posted in bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Abuse, BDSM Slave training, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, Dominant in Training, Novice Dominant, oral sex, sex, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Submissive being used, sucking cock with tags , , , , on February 16, 2020 by thekinkyworldofvile

You watched Fifty Shades and when you woke up the next morning you were ready to dominate the world.  You want a slave to serve you but most of all you are thinking only about sex. Your mind is racing about the thought of endless pussy.

You join all the kinky websites such as fetlife , you create a profile with nothing written and post a Dick pic of yourself. This is because you think your dick will draw women to you but in reality you are clueless.

You begin to send out random messages like Hey whats up? A few days go by and your mail box is empty and you cannot figure out why. You end up liking hundreds of pictures and you are following hundreds but your mail box is empty. You post in a few groups and get blasted for running of at your mouth. This is because you wrote a check with your battle ship mouth that your tugboat ass could not cash. You are angry at people because after all fetlife is a kinky site right?

If you by chance start a conversation with a experienced dominant you brush off most of what he says and you continue down the same road because your mind is driven by kinky sex and pussy.

Even before fifty shades you dated some but for the most you remained single. Probably the life of the party but in reality you do not have very many true friends. Your opinion of women is very low and have used through out your years and at times even abusive.

You are the predator , you are the danger and when and if you do get a chance to hook up with a novice submissive you expect sex and you take it. This does not make the moment consensual it makes it rape. You get angry when you message and there is no reply and still you do not understand the damage you have done.

Even if you are the harmless dominant or want to be dominant you still do not listen because pussy is running your life and you think that the women you contact are only interested in sex.

There are some who want to be dominant , there are some who want a slave but your just not cut out for the lifestyle and yet you will blame everyone else. You refuse to take a few minutes and look at yourself in the mirror to see the real you.

These habits are probably stemming from your childhood , either a single parent , or from abusive parents. Maybe or maybe not towards you, you could of just witnessed the abuse. Either way instead of getting help you continue tyo walk the destructive path.

Then we have the married vanilla who watched fifty shades or maybe not but you are stuck in a dull sexless marriage. Sex maybe if you are lucky once a month or less, and you are sex driving. When you do have sex your wife feels like it is a chore and while you are fucking her she acts like you are the king of the world. You crawl off in about 3 or 4 minutes and it is back to the same o same o.  You want to fuck your wife in the ass so bad but nope she will not go there, or you want her to suck your dick and nope she will not go there, but you knew this before you married.

The dominant who are new experience something a new submissive or slave does and it is called sub frenzy. Their mind is traveling a hundred miles an and will listen to no one when asking for advice. The subs end up getting hurt in some form be it physical or mental. The new dominant ends up in short lived relationships trying to figure out what the fuck happened. The new dominant is focused on two things and two things only and that would be pussy and kinky sex.

Growing up there was one thing on my mind and that was pussy. While in school I was known for being kinky and sadistic so my options were mainly open to one girl. As I grew older I knew something was wrong but could not pin point it and it was not until my late 40’s did I realize I had it all wrong.

The novice dominant is much like the novice submissive, there is one speed and that is wide open. There is no advice that will work and will continue asking for advice until they get the answer they want.

I was speaking with someone the other day about sex, and I explained it is my belief many who are new to the lifestyle or maybe not but many of the subs out there have sex because of pressure. The submissive believes it is what is expected. There could be some fear as well, the fear of losing out on a relationship. Most of you know what happens when you tell a male no to sex right? Then the begging comes in, the excuse on how the two will be bonded, how it will make the relationship stronger.  Then once you spread your legs it is game over you are had.

The dawn of the new dominant ages ranging from 18 to about 38 or so and at times older. The definition of BDSM has changed a great deal, the lack of respect, the lack of responsibility, the lack of seeking a true relationship and the list goes on and on. Then you meet a dom and ten minutes into the conversation he pulls out a collar from the local pet store and wants to own you, well for the next week or so.

You can find me on Fetlife

I_Vile_Own_Her

Vile

 

 

 

Training A Slave To Fit Your Needs

Posted in Anger Issues, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave training, Collars, communication, Consistency, Dominant and Submissive, eternity collar, fetlife, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, owning a slave, Slave, Submission, Submissive, training your slave, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , on February 4, 2020 by thekinkyworldofvile

You have to have great appreciation for your slave ,in a way you have to love and cherish probably more than your slave will love you. The slave in today’s world probably works a full time job , then comes home and another job begins. However the work at home is more than likely more intense once home than at work.

Depending on the master there is a breaking process, some are extreme while some not so much but you have to be able to bring out the humble that is within the slave. My philosophy is if you break it you gotta fix it.

I have mentioned in other post the importance of getting to know the slave, the importance of knowing the slave better than family and friends and better than the slave knows themselves.

Knowing who you are , how much control you want, how much responsibility  you want, and how much care. Are you strict ? Are you easy going? Are you looking to take full control of someones life? Are you more service orientated, into humiliation, pain?

While sex is not my main driver in a M’s relationship  it does play a part and sex has to be compatible. Both have to be on the same page and both have to talk about sexual needs before entering a relationship.

If you are going to put rules and protocols in place you need to follow through on a daily basis. If you are going to take full ownership there is no what I call downtime , while I do allow my slave to have days just so she can unwind , relax and clear her head, my days are much different. I have no what I call true friends , I do have friends but no one I can really confide in , maybe sit down for a couple of beers or have a in dept  conversation about training. One of the subjects I have been studying for sometime is hypnosis but this is only a me thing. I have practiced on my slave and have been successful there is really no one to talk to. In the community I know a great deal many people but talking to someone and having to worry about something getting out is not something I want to deal with. I actually spend more time speaking with what I do call friends who live overseas , yea I know weird but it works.

I was really young when my kink first came to light , maybe 13 or 14 with a girl my same age. I spoke about her probably seven years ago and I am going to correct what I called her. I called her the school whore but the word whore was really pretty bad so I am going to replace it with the word slut. Just because someone is a slut is not a bad thing , it just means they have a huge sex drive, maybe slut is a word that does not fit but anyway.

Beverley was the first girl I tied up , spanked fucked and face fucked, yea she talked so I did not date very much while in school but she was a regular hookup for several years. The more we saw each other the more extreme we were even to the point of fisting, and wow the first time my hand vanished deep inside her pussy wow! I remember once my hand was fully inside and opening it and feeling all around inside her pussy , it was just amazing.

So while I was kinky and I wanted to be in control , I had no idea what I was doing. At that time is was hunt , fuck and move on.

To the slave, why do you want to be a slave ? What was it that drew you to this lifestyle? Something you read , maybe talking to someone, a movie? What type a slave are you ? Are you more about service? Are you a slave but a masochist ? This is something you have to figure out to insure you find the right match because not one master is the same.

Questions that are seldom asked of the slave is about health , be it physical or the most important mental. Medications the slave is on and why they are on them and what they are for. You as a master are responsible for doing research and it should give you a greater understanding on just how far you can go when it comes to play and that being physical and mental to include pain. If you break it you may not be ale to fix it and you could find yourself answering questions to law enforcement.

As a slave you have to have a need not a want because if it is just a want then while you are training there will be some internal fighting and will case you to resist to a point or you may find you are objecting to most.

Being mentally prepared having your mind right knowing you are about to step off a cliff and expect someone you trust to catch you.

The master must know the slave , the master must know the slave better than the slave knows themselves. You have to know the slaves limitations and something many look over are medications. What type of medications is the slave taking? Does the slave suffer from any type of depression? If so then this may alter your training program some. Remember if you break it you have to fix it and depression may not be something you can fix. I have found over the years those who do suffer from some type of depression are much better suited to be a service slave. Working with a masochist is this a area you have experience in?  The truth not many who are masochist are slaves just as not many who are sadist are actual master. Their pleasure comes from inflicting pain and humiliation.

Training a slave is really not as difficult as many think but it does take a lot of work and going into a relationship you really have to have a game plan. Some ask me about rules when they first meet a slave and my answer is you cannot give out rules until you know the slave. Rules are for the betterment of the slave and this does not include not being allowed to wear panties. I have found over the years that protocols can actually take the place of many rules although some see both as the same.

The one thing many look over is negotiating the relationship and if you do not it can cause a lot of confusion and trouble because you just cannot make shit up as you go.

I have standards when it comes to upkeep. I dress nice when out but I expect my slave to look 100 times better at all times. It is the masters responsibility on how the slave presents their selves when out. A slave is a direct reflection of the master and the masters training.

I had a list, a list of my needs when it comes to ownership and if the answer was no to anything on my list the conversation was over. The slaves needs are different, you have clothing, food, and a place to sleep anything else is a privilege and privileges can be earned or taken away.

Negotiations should include how much control the master wants to take, how much freedom to take and give. Sex is on your terms and your terms only after all it is about you the master. The slave must agree to your terms and speak the word I agree out loud not just by nodding. If you like anal sex and the slave does not and is not willing to compromise then the slave is not for you. If the slave does not swallow and it is a requirement for you , then the slave is not the right one for you. Do not give in to any of your needs.

The slave will come back with a list of needs besides the three basic. You the master must agree, if you say no and the slave does not agree then the slave is not the right one for you.

The slave has rights , the slave has the right to be able to communicate openly 24/7 to include waking you at night. The slave has the right to communicate freely without being judged and you the master must listen. This includes during your busy day, if the slaves sends a text you are to respond it only takes a few seconds.

A part time master cannot expect full time submission.

Ok you are taking a human and you are changing their train of thought, you are changing their habits, you are changing their needs. Needs in my eyes are four simple things. Food, water , clothing and a place to live. These are absolute needs

Training is about being consistent hourly, daily, weekly and monthly and so on. Once you begin the training there must be no interruptions. My thoughts on LDR these are extremely  hard because if you cannot reach out and touching someone you really do not have any control over someone, you have the control you are being told you have and nothing more..

You have a vision on how you see your daily life , you envision your home, you are the master , living with your slave. One thing, if you are looking for a slave then look for a slave. Your search should not include a submissive or a baby girl, a brat nor a switch. You are looking for a slave and nothing less.

One of the first words out of your mouth should be privilege. Everything you allow the slave to do or have is a privilege and privileges can be taken away at anytime. This is one area of the relationship the slave has control, privileges are in the slaves court and the slave controls the outcome.

You as the master having a clear game plan and knowing what your expectations are is a must. You can not just go in winging it or playing by ear. Once you start training it is really hard to make changes and this is mainly because you have already set the pace.

Strip, standing right there and strip as she walked through the door. Hand me you cell , your purse. In today’s the cell has become a part of life so allowing the slave to check a couple of times a day is important , maybe family friends, emails and so on but limited time.

You may sit here and here but not here or here. You are not allowed at anytime to sit on my furniture , you do not have that right. See what I did there? I have taking what once was normal freedoms and taken them away. Everything in a slaves life is a privilege and privileges  can be taken away at anytime.

Dinner time you may sit on the floor next to me , you do not have the right to sit on a chair, you are the slave remember? You will not begin to eat before I take my first bite,then and only then may you begin to eat and after the first bite you will thank me.

When you sit you will sit with both legs closed and hands placed on your lap, you will never cross your legs , you are not permitted to do so. When you stand and you are speaking or not your hands will be clasped in the front hanging in front of you.

You will ask permission to sit on my floor , you will ask permission to stand , to go to the bathroom , to get a drink or water , to shower and to enter the bed.

Here is the key as masters we can only make a informed decision based on the information given to us, if you do not communicate your feelings I cannot read your mind. If you ask a slave a direct question you expect a direct answer, if something goes wrong and the slave did not communicate the problem is clearly the slaves fault.

I have three main protocols in place while out. Protocol one, the slave may speak freely, two the slave may speak when spoken to and three speaking is not permitted.

My slave does not wear clothes while at home, she is not permitted  and does not have that right. If requested such as cooking or taking the dogs out I allow.

In the beginning of your relationship after you have agreed to enter one,  Use your slave this is your right. Guide the slave to the bedroom place them on the edge of the bed and tell them to spread. You fuck , bust a nut and walk away after you have finished. You and use often many times without saying a word. I have my slave trained I just tap on the back of the head and she knows it is time to suck dick, if I tap twice she knows to go all the way down and hold it until I grab a hand full of hair and pull her up.  If I want pussy I take pussy if I want the ass I take the ass but I do without giving any indication until I start.

All of the above is done in repetition , hourly, daily , weekly and so on.  You must remain consistent and what you have done over the past 90 days or so is changing the slaves mindset and taking old habits and replacing with habits you want in place. Just because a slave makes a mistake but not mean the slave should be punished after all the slave is human and even masters makes mistakes.  Punishments do not always include physical punishment. There is a mindset that if a slave breaks a rule which seldom happens then we must beat them.

The Collar is very sacred to me and I hold it above a wedding ring. The collar shows ownership , you own your slave , you own property. While negotiating find out what kind of collar would be suitable for everyday wear.

Myself I use a Turian collar  which for the most is Gorean and it locks with a allen screw. I am the only one with the wrench to remove it. Arianna has worn it for almost 7 years and it has never been off her neck. She wears to work and is out in public and in 7 years has been asked about it 3 or 4 times. She simply replies it is like a wedding ring and nothing else is said.

A collar is earned not giving , if it is just giving there is no appreciation

I do not believe in under consideration collars or training collars. I did make a leather one I put on Arianna when we went to events so others would know she was taking. Many today run down to the local pet store and purchase a dog collar and give it with no meaning. Most wear the collar as a trophy or to be able to stand out , maybe play.

Leave sex off the table until you get to know the slave, as a matter of fact let the slave bring the topic up when it comes to sex, kink and bondage as well as fetishes.

Shut up and listen

Start with a blank canvas and build what you need.

Fetlife you can find me

I_Vile_Own_Her

 

Vile

 

 

 

Men’s Number One Weakness

Posted in bdsm, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, pussy, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Uncategorized with tags , , , , on January 27, 2020 by thekinkyworldofvile

Men’s number one weakness , would that be stupidity ? We are men we do stupid stuff , we cannot help it because it is in our DNA , but there has to be a stopping point. I know some men who would crawl naked through a mile of crushed glass to hear Brittany   Spears fart through a walkie talkie.  This is the truth, it is not about the relationship , building a relationship , or looking for something long term. It is about the Pussy and nothing more.

Lets take BDSM , this relationship is one of the fastest relationships you can enter and why is that? One of the first questions a Dominant will ask a slave is are you Bi and for many if not Bi that is a deal breaker or if not then the subject is brought up at a later date and often forced. What is the shortest skirt you own ? I am not sure why but this seems to matter. Do you go out in public with no bra or panties ? Again I am not sure what this has to do with building a relationship.  Do you enjoy anal sex oh and there is do you swallow ? Do not get me wrong compatibility is what helps make a relationship go round and round but this is within the first 30 minutes of just meeting and most of the time it is on line.

Now from my prospective , how I did and do things , please do not get me wrong because at one time I was like the ass above but in my defense I was in my late 20’s. Once I hit my 30’s those questions became obsolete and really did not seem to matter.

Anyone who ask me for advice on meeting a new slave my advice is sit down shut the fuck up and listen. Let the slave talk about anything and everything, just let them ramble and while their mouth is moving you are listening to every word and processing the information you are being giving.  What you are doing or what you want to do is get in their head and in order to do this you have to know, what their habits are, how they think and why they think the way they do. You want to know about their favorite music, food, movies , games , vacations and family and friends. If you know none of the above you cannot begin training or effective training and you just bullshit your way through it.

Leave sex off the table because if you just start out fucking that will be what consumes your whole relationship and it will end as fast as it started. Look those who are subs and slaves are use to being used , many believe sex is what is expected. Ok now don’t get me wrong because I love sex , I love getting head, head is my favorite pass time and although I average about 2 hours a week of just getting blown I would like to increase that by another hour or so. So I love to fuck but sex is on my terms when and how I want it, I do not ask and I am not much into foreplay ehh maybe sometimes but for the most I crawl on top bust a nut and get the fuck off. My foreplay is when Arianna is sleeping and she uncovers and I am looking at her , this is also when I take my best pictures but anyway I start with her tits and spend a hour or so just fingering before I need to sleep then I am on top, I do not say a word she just spreads.

I hear guys talking oh man when I am with a sub I love to make her cum as much as I can , I was with a sub sometime ago and I made her cum 30 times in 15 minutes .  Image result for stare emoji

Yea man I am sure you did and most if any was to support your inflated ego. See the problem is you still have pussy on your mind. Pussy has control over your what litte brain you do have and the bitch will use sex against you. Then sex is on their terms and not yours because you are a begging little bitch.

To train someone you have to know someone , if you do not know you cannot train. The submission is earned through trust and the willingness to protect and guide. The slave should look at you as their best friend , the one they can confide in without judgement. The slave should have 24 hour access to you and nothing less.

A part time Dominant cannot expect full time submission, but those who are not true the front only last a month or two before it becomes to much work and it falls into a mostly vanilla relationship except for the barking orders when the dom feels like they want something.

You just cannot sit around barking orders and expect the slave to feel appreciated , or even the feeling of being wanted.

Training a slave , and think about this, you are changing someone way of thinking and changing habits to fit your needs. This can only be done if you truly know they slave , this can only be done with effort on your part.

I explain to up and coming masters you have to be able to get inside ones head, you have to truly understand them. You have to know how they think and why they think the way they do. The truth is not one has ever asked me how to do just that, I always get the answer yes.

Men do not understand just how weak they look when most would crawl through a mile of broken glass just to get some pussy, but and there is a but. Men talk and men brag about how they nailed a bitch , how they treated her like a whore, yea this is true just like women talk, eh probably not as out spoken as men are.

I really think this shit started with Adam and Eve.

 

You can reach me on Fetlife

 

I_Vile_Own_Her

 

Vile

 

 

My Mentor

Posted in bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, Behavior Modification, Consensual, http://bestslavetraining.com/, Humiliation, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Mentor, Slave, Submission, Submissive, training your slave with tags , , , , on July 16, 2019 by thekinkyworldofvile

By the early 80’s I had somewhat of a grasp of what the meaning of BDSM meant , but I did not know how to really implement anything as far as building a relationship.

I had lived with chong for almost 7 years and we really just winged it even after chong moved beth in. Beth was someone I really disliked but only went along with it because it was a need for chong.

Shortly after chong had left and went back to Korea , I guess I went through a early midlife crisis . This is when I thought I was missing something in life but little did I know it should of been left as a passing thought. I had to get married , I wanted the house with the fence , the dog and kids. Little did I know this would be the biggest mistake I would ever make in my life.

I knew before I married it was a mistake but I had put a plan in place and I was going to stick to it. Nine miserable years just short of ten years and I was free. Something I learned early on as a Dom was I had morels , I placed standards on myself when it came to my integrity and I would not bend. The duration of my marriage I remain Loyal , I never stepped outside of my marriage. I felt that any Dom who claimed to be such should have higher standards but through out the years I have found many do not and just as many lack integrity. Many associate BDSM with just fucking and kink nothing more and then they complain when things go south.

I divorced and both went through a paralegal to complete the paper work. I had agreed to pay 85.00 a week in child support but soon after I realized 85 a week was really nothing.

I left with nothing and about 1200 dollars in my pocket , to make things worse I was in between jobs. I rented a apartment for 600 a month and I talked the landlord into letting me make payments on the deposit.

While sitting in the waffle house one night , just getting off of my day labor job , yes day labor paid daily. Anyway I over heard two taxi drivers talking about how much they made that day. One was 250.00 and the other boasting about the 560.00 he made that day. Bam the next day I applied , passed background check then drug test and I was set.

The first 3 months I found to be hard , I did not know the ropes but little did I know things would change. The owner of the company Francis took a liking to me and gave me two dedicated runs daily that would give me a take home of about 250.00 dollars a day plus what ever else I made.

Soon after I bumped my child support up to about 150.00 a week because I knew how hard it must be for a single mother to try to raise a child..

Sometime passes and came the breakup , while in the hospital my slave left and moved on. Wow what a rough year that would prove to be. After leaving the hospital it would take me almost a year to recover. The only thing that kept me a float was the two dedicated runs I had , other than that I slept in the car while waiting on a call.

I pulled up on the taxi stand where most drivers sat through out the day waiting on a call. I seldom sat there , mainly because I had those two dedicated run and a dozen of regulars that kept me running most of the day. I pulled up next to this car and I noticed it was a new driver. This guy looked like a pissed off santa clause and I am just looking at him , he looks at me and says well does that cock sucker you have work ? I said excuse me really? He stated well if you are not like most of the bitches here speak the fuck up.

Wow! What in the fuck crawled up your ass and died you old mother fucker , did someone piss in your glass of Im pissed off at the world today?

Then out of nowhere he shouts fuck , I forgot to feed her. So I asked what? He stated my bitch is chained to the floor and she cant reach the fridge. You have your dog chained up? No you stupid mother fucker I would never chain a dog up , my slave you ignorant fuck . Then he started his car and drove off.

Later that night I was thinking about this old dude for what ever reason , I could not get him out of my mind. Thinking there was someone else out there like me , well kinda like me , I was not as grumpy.

Somehow Animel had the ability to pull in some very beautiful women and I remember one who is still in my mind today. She was half American and half Taiwanese. Probably 5’1 and less than 100 pounds. As I had mentioned while driving a cab part time , I took a call over the radio and pulled into this apartment complex and out came walking this drop dead gorgeous woman well young woman , I am guessing in her mid 20’s. It was like a movie , time seemed to stop and as she walked her hair was blowing in the wind. She wore this crop top and a pair of Daisy duke shorts and sneakers. She was not very friendly and really pretty snobbish so I just ignored her and gladly took my 40 bucks.

Several months later I went over to Animels to borrow some tools , I was changing a motor in a 71 Monte Carlo . Animel and his grumpy ass mumbled and pointed towards his shop and as I was going through his tool boxes I heard a slight moan . Walking around his dune buggy he had been building for years , I see this bitch chained to the floor and when she looked up at me , I said well , well, well look at what we have here. I yelled out yo dude you have a bitch chained to the floor. Animel yelled out don’t  feed her yet. So I picked up the tools I needed and walked around the dune buggy and just looked down at the woman and mumbled , fuck me and walked out.

Animel had been living in the warehouse for several years , I really thought the setup was pretty cool. As I walked out I looked at him and just starred and Animel blurted out what dick head? I said nothing and walked out.

As I stated most of what was shared I did not agree with but what I did learn I put it to good use. Sometimes you can listen to someone and only hear what you want and your brain just disregards the rest maybe you know you are doing that or maybe you do not.

 

What I did learn was the mental side of the lifestyle , control and not being controlling , and the need for open communication and listening.

Last year I received a call around 9pm  from someone I had not heard from in several years and was asked if I heard ? Then I was informed Animel had passed , I was stunned and felt great hurt. What is weird it affected me more than when my own parents passed , I felt like I had a great loss even though we had not spoken in 5 years.

A mentor , a teacher , someone you can confide in , someone who will guide and bring out your short comings.

I never knew for sure but I believe Animel was a trainer. His relationships were short but very intense . One day the slave was there and 2 or 3 months would pass and the slave was gone as fast as she appeared.

There were no task giving , no test , just hours and hours of conversations , questions and sharing life experiences.

One topic I concentrated on was Behavior Modification , changing someone to fit my needs and my needs only. Changing habits , the way someone spoke , acted in public and private , the way one sat and even walked , and all can be done without the slave even knowing. This is what I not only wanted but needed.

I learned anger had no place in a Master/slave relationship , how could a master be respected if he was full of anger and rage ? Every time , you scream , call names or even getting physical , verbal abuse is just as bad as physical , each time you lose a little more respect.

Once he passed even though we had not spoken in sometime I still feel like something is missing.

Vile

Once he passed even though we had not spoken in sometime I still feel like something is missing.

Vile

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The 3 Types Of Dominants

Posted in bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Dominant and Submissive, Dominants, Slave, Submission, Submissive with tags , , , , on June 29, 2019 by thekinkyworldofvile

I have been around for a few years and I am more of an observer , I enjoy figuring people out. Just sitting listening and taking information in. Over the years I have met a lot of people and the one thing I have noticed is when it comes to the BDSM lifestyle the first impression is not always true when it comes to peoples actions.

When you first meet someone be it a Dominant or Master the first impression means absolutely  nothing. Most times it takes 3 or 4 conversations and once someone is comfortable with you the truth flows from their mouth. 9 out of 10 you find they are full of their own shit and nothing more.

The M’s community is very small that would be Master and Slave relationships , not LDR but when two actually live together. If you do not live with and cannot reach out and touch someone the training if any will not be effective. If the slave does not live with you , you have no real control , only the control you are told you have.

Now I am far from perfect , but I keep my word , I am who I am and I follow through with what I say. I run a very strict high protocol home , where the word yes means yes and no means no. My slave comes first even before family , that my friend is very important.

The Pussy Dominant I call them a real down to earth Pussy who spends their lives being topped from the bottom in hopes for a little pussy or a blow job from time to time. The pussy Dominant is giving just enough control to boost their ego , many times having to beg to get laid. This type of dominant is afraid to enforce any rules in fear of making the submissive mad. Only when in public do they show show their dominance until the submissive either speaks up or gives that fuck you look. This is the Dominant who did not negotiate the relationship or was scared to in fear of the submissive walking away , remember the Pussy Dominant. The pussy Dominant is one with zero experience and while being topped from the bottom they have no clue as to what is happening. The pussy Dominant can be told no and will go along with it , only because the fear of the pussy getting cut off.

These types of Dominants are driving by sex and sex only. This is a chance to get their kink on even if they are told no much of the time. The pussy Dominant looks much like a sad , sad puppy. This is the Dominant who wants advice but will not follow anything in fear of what pussy hr gets being cut off

A D’s relationship , M’s relationship should be 100% consensual , the relationship should always be negotiated before making any type of commitment.

A angry mans words are a calm mans thoughts. No man or Dominant should raise his voice out of anger to his partner or Slave. These are the same men who will call them a stupid bitch and in an hour expect them to lay on their back.

A Dominant who has anger issues is not a Dominant. You just do not wake one morning and say hey I am a Dominant and I want a submissive or a slave. A slave is looking for a few quality things in life. One being security , another would be communication , wanting a Dominant who understands them and are able to meet their needs in life. One of the last being taking care of , not so much monetary but the mental side , the physical side , knowing they are cared for and they come first before anything or anybody.

Something that rarely comes up is depression , those who are on medication, those who may be Bi-Polar , suffer from anxiety , or just depression. If you like millions are on medication , you can take all the medication you need but if your home life is a total wreck then the medication is worthless. If you are being yelled at or told how worthless you are , or even becoming physical then the meds you are taking serve no purpose.

If a Dominant cannot control their own life then how can they control someone else ? Calling you names or hitting you then expecting you to lay on your back to fuck. How would this situation be helping you as a slave? How could you treat your property so bad then expect to have your dick sucked ? Or maybe fuck and expect them to enjoy ?

If things are not going your way then maybe take a looking at the training you provided. What did you do to improve the situation? Are you keeping your word , you know the words you spoke when you first met. When you talked about how you were in control , you had zero problems , zero drama , how calm you are , you remember those words yes?

While I do enjoy Mentoring I can be very demanding , if a question is asked and I give advice I expect it to be followed. If not followed and you call again and ask another question I re-answer the first question because I am assuming you did not get it the first time..  Something I bring up to everyone is the importance of getting in the subs head.. Out of all my years I have only had one Dominant ask me how to, yes only one.

I have come to a age in life where I will no longer be mentoring anyone , for one I just do not have the time and two the lifestyle has changed to more of a kink base.

Maybe there are a few other types ?

 

Vile Featured Image -- 53429

 

 

 

 

You Need To Strip

Posted in adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave, cock sucking, Consistency, Dominant and Submissive, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Humiliation, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, Sex and Submission, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Training Arianna, training your slave with tags , , , on February 5, 2019 by thekinkyworldofvile

Arianna walked in the house , I was sitting at the dinning table and I said stop right there.

You need to strip , take all of your clothes off. You will not be allowed any clothing unless I give permission , this includes company coming over.  I stood up and walked over to her took her hand and started walking . I stopped in front of the couch and pointed at the floor. This is where you can sit , on the floor in front of me. I then walked over to the dinning table and pointed at the floor , this is where you will eat dinner. Besides the bed those two places are the only places you are allowed to sit.

The next couple of hours I remained silent , just observing as Arianna sat on the floor wondering what I was thinking. Later in the evening I walked Arianna to the bedroom laid her down crawled on top , I came inside of her and got off and just walked away without saying a word. I was thinking to myself , my property I will use when I want.

Later that night we were talking and I explained to Arianna in 90 days you will know my needs , what I expect. She then asked how ? You will watch and listen , do what you are told when you are told and told how to do it. Arianna thought I was setting her up for failure.

The next 90 days Arianna spent a great deal of time on her back and sucking my dick. The idea behind that was to use as much as I could to let her know that is what she was for. I remember the first time Arianna sucked my dick , I was thinking this bitch is a keeper and today she just keeps getting better. The using was very important during training. The purpose was to make it clear in her mind she was here to serve and reminded her of her place in the relationship.

Remember it is the slave who must adapt to your way of living , your home , your rules , your protocols.

Over the 90 days I started introducing rules and protocols , I started to control the way she spoke , walked , sit , how she would interact with others . The protocols I introduced were important to me , this was important as well because after all Arianna would be a direct reflection of me.

I controlled the way she dressed , her nail polish , her hair style and color and at one point I shaved one side of her head.

At times I used different forms of Humiliation , this was to set the reminder who was in charge and who was not.

How do you get to know your slave ? You let them talk , talk and talk and you listen. You cannot begin to train or issue rules unless you know who you are entering a relationship with. Having open communication , your slave or submissive has the right to speak and express their feelings . You want the slave to feel comfortable enough knowing they can come to you and speak about anything and be respected and knowing you care and will not judge.

I arranged a protocol dinner where Arianna served dinner and supplied drinks and after everything was dished out , Arianna was allowed to sit at the table for the first time.

I started introducing Arianna to friends I knew in the lifestyle and we attended Munchs together.

Over the next 90 days Arianna started to become a little more comfortable but still had trust issues. We continued to communicate and we talked for several hours daily.

From the day we met is was exactly 6 weeks when Arianna moved in. We would of moved into her place but it was to small for the two of us. Arianna had a really nice small two bedroom Apartment in the historic district and I loved it but it was just to small for the two of us..

I have moved passed the need to inflict pain , my needs were more on the mental side of things. I wanted to get into Arianna’s . It took me years to realize getting into someones head was far more effective and taking the sadist side of things. Truth be known I enjoy showing Arianna off so marks and bruises would not be very appealing.

Our negotiations lasted about a day , it was not a 8 hour conversation , but we did converse on our needs , her needs , my needs and wants.

I had made up my mind I was not going to give in on any level and I was going to get my way or it would be noway.  If you are entering a relationship in the lifestyle and you give in to some of your needs , there will come a time when the need or needs will come up and you have already agreed on certain things.

When I trained I focused on my needs and wants. Sitting down and drawing a picture in my mind on how I saw my everyday life in the present and future.

Dressing , when going out I myself dress very nice and in my mind if we were going out my slave would dress like she was walking the red carpet. The slave is a direct reflection of her Master. It also shows the Master cares for his slave.

Okay this is a short blog ..

I truly appreciate everyone who stops by.

Vile