The spread of The Patriarchy

There seems to be many definitions of the word Patriarchy.

A few months back I was invited to a KIK group that had to do with Training or so I thought. I’ve met some good people with good intentions but had absolutely nothing to do with training. During any downtime I would jump in to pass the time.

Then I was invited to a Patriarchy group, my thoughts were maybe it would be somewhat more organized. At first things were ok, then a female joined in and here came the change. The worthless whore entered the room, and what surprised me was she welcomed the words.

Now I am 61 years old, and have been in the lifestyle for more than 3 decades. I’ve seen a lot of shit and heard even more.

So I started questioning their actions and it was explained that along with patriarchy there is a mixture of misogyny.

So I began to explain my thoughts on patriarchy, about how the leader of the house provided structure, leadership, and security. The conversation grew deeper and while a few were interested the majority just shrugged me off to include the women.

So my question is, if the women are taking part in the misogyny role, is it considered abuse? Within the group the women are shared with other members and a few even meet up.

I do know they could care less about the lifestyle, well the BDSM part.

I’ve never met men who I considered to be disrespectful but women who welcomed their words and the physical part as well.

A female in the group directed me to a book.

Born With A Cunt

My thoughts on nature, society, law, crime and punishment, politics and in particular women.

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My thoughts on nature, society, law, crime and punishment, politics and in particular women. Many of my ideas will be controversial and some people will find them crazy or disgusting. They’re based on personal experience, reading, study and discussion with lots of people

Smashwords has a free download.

The book is about 228 pages and very graphic.

There are 3 reviews and they are not good.

While I do not condone such behavior or actions, I am sure there are people who think the same about the BDSM lifestyle.

The book is not well written but she does acknowledge she is not a professional writer.

The people I interacted with were all living a consensual relationship.

We are all different and we all live a different belief system and for most it works. I really thought maybe it had something to do with low self esteem or maybe mental issues but that did not seem to be the case.

Very interesting

I’ll be back

Coming out of the closet

I imagine with some who are living double lives. At home you live as master and slave, but with family and friends you are both the couple with the house and white picket fence.

Over the years many gays have come out and today many are getting married. I applaud those who have the courage to do so. Although LGBTQ community has made progress, there is still much work to be done, My point is many have come forward, because it is important to be who you are.

You live as master and slave, but this is a secret life you both live. Everything is hush hush, you both don’t want anyone to find out. It seems you are afraid of others finding out who you really are.

I would think living a double life might be kinda of stressful at times. Having to keep your kinky furniture hidden because you’re afraid of what people might think.

While Arianna and I do not boast about who we are, we do not hide it. Both sides of our families knows about our way of life.

I remember the cable guy coming over and was in my room, I had a cross on the wall and a spanking bench in the middle of the floor. He was silent and while working he was just looking around and confused. I’m sitting at my desk and he looks at me and I said , my dungeon. Hahahaha. This blank stare came from him and he looked really scared. My mother in law has come to visit and our spanking bench was in the living room.

Here is where the problem is, speaking with the NCSF , National Coalition For Sexual Freedom. Most of the time when they are contacted is when a Dominant has gone to far with play and caused injury. Or going to far and ignoring safe words.

Not knowing how to respond when the police are called, letting them in your home , that is a big No No. instead make sure your girl is with you and explain, the two of you are enjoying adult consensual play. Do not let the police separate the two of you. Do not let them in your home, they cannot enter without a warrant.

NCSF will help as long as you did not get stupid. There are lifestyle lawyers and doctors as well.

If someone can identify as a puppy or pony in public, which is ok because it’s about freedom. Why can’t we identify as master and slave? Afraid of family, your employer, your closest friends finding out, who the fuck cares ?

Another problem is some take it to the extreme, while in a parade marching half nude in public, is that what your lifestyle is about? While I could technically walk Arianna down the sidewalk with a leash, I do not out of respect for other people, and no I am not afraid of offending someone, it’s about respect. You can call me names or say I’m abusing, that does not offend me. The word offensive, offend , offended has no meaning. If you are offended nothing happens, you still wake up the next day. Vile you offended me, um no you allowed me to offend you.

You can identify as anything you want, as long as you are happy, however you do not need my approval. I may not understand and I may not want to, but it’s your life , be happy.

In our community a neighbor was giving some pillows away and Arianna wanted them, we pulled up and frank came out and introduced himself. Hello I am Frank and I’m gay. My response was , well good for you, I mean what do you say? My husband is in the house, ok Coolio. Then he continues, we have rights you know, and I’m like I know you do, but why tell me you’re gay, I already knew ? The whole conversation was awkward, but today we are friends.

I will support you but it does not mean, I am going to march with you waving a flag . It does not matter what side of the fence you are on, do your thing .

Every who follows me knows I am a conservative with some liberal views, I support the 1st amendment, huge supporter of the 2nd amendment and 4th amendment the most, but it does not mean I’m going to go out and march. I have met with state representatives, even gone to a gun range with them, I’ve met with congressmen, senators and our governor, that is my support.

Be who you are just don’t try to push your beliefs on others like a Jehovah witness. Most do not care how you identify.

Anyway this will probably piss a lot of people off.

I hope everyone had a awesome Christmas and I hope you have a kick ass New Year’s

Vile

Arianna singing

Life Changes

It has been a while since I’ve posted. However there is life and while I try to post, something comes up. My time with Arianna is valuable, so my off time is dedicated to her.

I have a 4 day weekend and Christmas and the day after is paid.

Those who have been following me know I’ve worked from home for the past 12 years, however life changes . Most of the time we can control the changes and at this time I myself was in control.

While I loved working from home, inflation caught up when it came to sales. Taking all bonuses away losing roughly 24.000 a years plus base pay.

Arianna and I were talking and she encouraged me to apply where she works, which is a cement manufacturer. She works in the lab testing the product through out the process. I believe they are going to move her into a chemist position soon.

I filled out the online application, Arianna mentioned my name and I was able to interview. The interview took place on zoom and when I logged in, there were 8 supervisors and the plant manager.

The interview lasted about a hour and I was hammered with back to back questions. In order to get hired all 8 had to agree to bring me on. The one thing that had me worried was my age and the physical aspect of the job.

When Arianna interviewed it took about 7 days for them to get back to her. Once my interview was complete, 3 minutes later I received a email to come on site and tour the plant operations.

I toured the plant which took roughly a hour, and I completed about 35 flights of stairs. Then came the physical and drug test which I had no issue except my blood pressure was somewhat high but I had started medication a few days before.

Boom I was hired.

I started the week of thanksgiving off that Thursday and Friday with pay. I had to complete a mining course and get certified.

I am the oldest there which feels somewhat awkward and by older 15 years or more. There is a safety meeting every morning because it’s really a dangerous field of work. The second day I walk in and everyone looked shocked.

I am titled as a lubrication technician, which means I take temperatures of motors , bearings, keep oil levels in check and grease where needed.

Christmas Eve and I’m still employed.

The company makes the job worth sticking around, management is just incredible and employees come first. That is why I am still there, now Arianna feels bad because she did not think the job was very physical.

So as head of the house when needed we have to step up. We are leaders and we are depended on to keep things flowing.

My original plan was to retire at 62 and work part time with my previous employer. Now I have to regroup.

A few months back I was going to purchase a bar, yea that is crazy but something I’ve always wanted. I was able to obtain financing but fell through because the owners had not filed taxes in several years and kept no books. I knew going into it they were losing money but in my mind I could make it work. I was going to hire a bartender, a female who was easy to look at , good personality and pay her 20.00 a hour. Yea that’s crazy right? 20.00 a hour plus tips. I myself would have handled the cooking.

In order to increase sales I would have added a package store m, a full liquor store. I have an open line of credit with a financial institution up north and the loan process took less than 2 days before it was approved, however taxes. These people were in their 70’s who the fuck does that ?

Things are good though just a change in plans, ahh one issue is my Mini Cooper, at the end of the day I just fall into the car but getting the fuck out. I still love it , it’s really fun to drive, but I’ve been looking at other options, but at 61 do I really want to buy another car?

As many know 2020 was a bad year, we both had Covid really bad and missed about 13 weeks of work. I had never been so fucking sick in my life. That caused a lot of tension and we were working two jobs, one full time and then 20 hours a week doing a karaoke gig. By the way you can make mad fucking money doing karaoke if you have the personality. Arianna was the main draw though and she flirted a lot which was part of the Job and she can sing. I may post a short video of her singing soon.

Our M’s relationship has never been stronger, I’ve made a few changes and things are back in full swing.

I truly appreciate all of you who stop by.

Everyone have an awesome Christmas and a kick ass new year.

Vile

Ahh Arianna’s slave tattoo

I designed

Break Me

BarbieBreaker is looking for a Barbie to break. As my username says i am here to break you. Modify you as i wish and make you the one i want. Msg me if you are interested.

Ruthless Australian Sadist seeks Female (Online).

It takes an intelligent, twisted, experienced mind to break a woman – qualities I absolutely possess.

What I offer is safe, discreet, and online.

Read my profile – if you aren’t scared off, message me directly

looking for whore to break online. looking for a whore i can psychologically break. That i can get deep into her head. And Completely destroy and break her mind

These are just a few adds running and my question is why? I’ve had slaves ask me in the past, will you break me? My question again why ? Well! I want to experience it. No you don’t, trust me.

When looking at fetlife profiles look at the groups these doms belong to, and that will tell you their outlook on women. These are not Doms a sadist in most cases do not consider themselves to be Doms, they are sadist.

Here is a more disturbing add

Females are made to be broken…

by 45 M Sadist

If you’re a female right now and you agree with the above statement then you’re on the right track. A female is nothing more than a set of holes and tits, and I’m going to show you from day one that’s all you are. You don’t deserve love, romance, respect, or dignity. What you do deserve is what I will give you. Beatings, getting fucked, and using you in any other way I feel like. I don’t care about your wants and needs, because it’s your responsibility to take of mine.

I’m not going to treat you nicely, fairly, or in any sort of romantic way. I will however break you mentally and physically and it’ll be a 24 hour thing when you travel with me daily in my semi. If you’re not able to travel with me for some reason or another, you will be made to be on web cam most of the day and host me when I come to town. We can discuss things here on fet, but I expect to be able to move to video chat and phone not long after you’re able to agree to what I’m looking to do to you.

You need to be a biological female, 18-40 years old, and have a slim to average body. You need to understand how I feel about females or at least be on the road to that point. I will push you over the edge with the daily use and abuse of your body. I travel from Wisconsin to California and I expect if you’re not able to relocate and travel with me, to be capable of hosting or meeting me when I’m in your area, and video chat daily. I will control everything you do daily.

If this is something you are interested in, you need to send me your height/weight/bra size in the subject line, and in the body of the message you need to tell me why I should pick you to be my whore. I’ve talked to a few whores here in the past few weeks who were unserious about this, so I would hope the next whore will be the one who’s going to be her full time. I hope you’re able to follow directions, for if you don’t, your message will be deleted unread

In most cases these are men who are looking for a just a justifiable reason to abuse.

If you break something you have to fix it. If done on line and it can be done, the submissive has no one to turn to.

It is no secret today that there is a severe mental health crisis going on today. One you the submissive is not going to freely offer that information. Second the dude who wants to break and humiliate you is probably not going to ask. Do you see the problem?

Stockholm Syndrome

The victim develops positive feelings toward the person holding them captive or abusing them. The victim develops negative feelings toward police, authority figures, or anyone who might be trying to help them get away from their captor. They may even refuse to cooperate against their captor.

Can you get Stockholm syndrome in a relationship?

In the context of relationships, Stockholm Syndrome is often seen in situations where one partner is controlling or manipulative. Over time, the victim may begin to feel that their abuser is the only one who truly understands them, or that their love for the abuser is the only thing that gives their life meaning.

Bipolar disorder, depression are to just name a few. If you are on medication, you can’t call your doctor and say hey it’s not working. Once you begin to freak out guess what ? That dude is gone. Think about how just interacting online, what the issues could or might be?

Again this is the mindset of what I would call an abuser or someone who is just clueless. Can you see the harm something like this could cause?

Clearly these Doms are not looking for a long term relationship. These are men who see submission as a weakness. This gives an open book to abuse and use as they see fit.

Now there are those who are open and even need such treatment. There are those who need to be treated as such. There are those who think they want to be treated as such until the game begins. Most are those with fantasies tire very quickly or get bored and move on to the next victim.

I have had a few slaves approach me and ask me to break them. My question was why? Because I want to know what it feels like. My answer was there is no end game, there are no goals but most important, I have zero need to spend my time when I get nothing out of it.

You do not have to break someone to create what you need. You can create the perfect submissive or slave. However it does take time.

The lifestyle is not about abuse, it is about two people coming together who have similar interests. Two working together to build something strong.

This is just a rant, I do not condone any type of violence or abuse.

Thank you for stopping by.

I may start doing vlogs instead of typing everything.

Much love

Vile

The photo is Arianna

The All Mighty Vagina

I talk about cheaters all the time, however there are females who are just as bad, but I still believe men come in greater numbers. So there are male and female Hoes.

The hunt , the smell like a 10 year old hound. That eyebrow kinda pops up, and that look when you are about to conquer.

These hound dogs see submissive women being weak minded senseless and stupid. The wanna be dom sees a target and the game of manipulation is about to begin. He however knows his target, he already knows anyone with any experience is off limits. Those who have been in the lifestyle will eat him alive.

A few years back, someone I know asked me if I knew of a 18 year old whore. On speaker, Arianna just looked at me with this wow look. I said you are 55 years old, what could you possibly have in common? Just ass man just ass. Well! You are out of luck because I do not know anyone and if I did, I could not help you out.

This is the mindset those who claim to be doms. Many are married and to some subs it does not bother them. However be it a vanilla wife, submissive or slave, it is them who builds the home. They keep things running smoothly to make our life easier.

Everything seems perfect in the beginning, but as time passes red flags start popping up. Some see the flags sooner than others.

Demanding all your passwords to your social media accounts. Keeping you away from friends and family. Isolation because he needs to keep you away from people who know better.

Crotch lookers, hey I’m guilty, the almighty ass and again I am guilty. However there are things that are better left as thoughts.

Sitting in a bar a friend pointed at a woman and said wouldn’t you love to fuck her? I looked for a few and said nope, what I’m thinking about is just face fucking her. I have this picture in my mind of just fucking her makeup up.

Why do men cheat? It could be as simple as getting attention, but in most cases they are not getting something they want. Could be blow jobs, anal sec , getting rough. So instead of speaking with their partner, they buy a ninja costume. There has been a communication breakdown over the years. Just maybe she doesn’t like anal sex or giving head.

The hunt and it just so happens while googling he runs across Daddy , Dom or master as well as submissive topics.

They see you as being weak minded, he sees you as a easy target. Mind you he has zero experience with the exception of what he’s seen in chat rooms, are there still chat rooms? What he has seen on the internet. Google BDSM and click on images, it’s porn with women being abused.

That is how they view our lifestyle, you are simply a target to be used.

Now how do I know all of this ? Because at one time many years ago, I was that guy. Once I learned the art of manipulation it was game on. The bad part is, I can’t even tell you how many women I’ve slept with. Most 90% or more was a few hours to a over night. This was before the internet and all of the social gatherings. It was a challenge because I only chased beautiful women, I chased the ones men were afraid to ask out.

It’s a game and nothing more.

Be careful and safe, most don’t even know their last names, where they work or live. You text and it’s days before you get a one or two word reply. Then once a month you get those few hours at your place, then he has to go.

Training is not about sucking cock, but that is how most starts and you do it because of fear, the fear of losing something you are never going to have .

Vile

The Different Masters & Dominants

I’ve stated before the lifestyle has changed, I am not sure about how slaves or how the submissive feels, but I am speaking solely about the alpha side.

I believe many see BDSM as just kink, or the hunt and conquer. Talk enough bullshit just long enough to get their dick sucked , get the pussy or just beat you.

Those three objectives are easy, the lying , the manipulation and just bullshit is harder than trying to actually have a relationship. Those are not masters nor dominants. Those are professional manipulators, abusers who are you as vulnerable and weak. They think you are stupid and lazy but most of all beneath them.

The easy going dominant who just goes with the flow, submission on demand, be it domestic or sexual.

The do it now dominant, who has very little structure or rules but just do it and enjoy.

The what I call the military dominant, who takes the time to train, explain his needs and what he expects the outcome to be. I’ll go deeper into this type.

The daddy dom who has very little rules and even less structure. The one who enjoys the company of the bratty sub. This is a special kind of dominant who I believe has more patience than a sloth.

It is easy to manipulate those who are new to the lifestyle. Most of those who are new are the easiest to use and manipulate, and at times it is only for short periods or it can drag on because the submissive feels trapped and does not want to be left alone. These are the player dominants, who are focused on blow jobs and pussy, not to mention the occasional beatings. These types are very controlling, insecure about themselves and their manhood. I call them the master little dick syndrome.

The dominant who has a vision, the dominant who knows what he wants out of life, the dominant who has goals in life. The dominant who wants what he wants but knows it will take some effort, time and work.

When I first started out, I had one thing on my mind, pussy. It wasn’t even about blowjobs, divide and conquer. I did not even care if there was a second meeting, I just know I won.

As I grew older I realized I was missing something out of life but I could not put my finger on it, but it was something.

I was happy and content, I cooked for myself, cleaned and dropped off my laundry. My house was in order and while not spotless it was clean.

I had been single for about 2 years, I had dated several but we just could not come to a agreement.

I rented a room out, not because I needed the money but I wanted the company. I ran a add on Craigslist looking for open minded female, why open minded? That was because if I did play with someone. I didn’t want her to freak out.

I met Kelly, during the interview, I could tell she had a lot of health issues, unemployed and basically homeless. So I said the only requirement you have it to be my company every night for dinner. As far as rent, it can wait until you get on your feet. I’ll do all the cooking and if I go out to eat, I’ll take you. There was no sex involved at all, just company.

Little did I know I would spend the next several months getting her Medicaid and into drug rehabilitation, out patient.

I was introduced to Arianna while Kelly was living with me and this is where the open minded came in because Arianna was not allowed to wear clothes while home.

I completed all the paperwork for Kelly to start drawing SSI and social security. Social Security wanted her to pay me like 5K for back rent but I did not take a dime. Arianna was worried about me taking in others at some point but I assured her I would not.

I’m off track here as usual.

I did not mention the Daddy dom in a previous blog and someone got butt hurt. I myself could never be a daddy dom, I do not believe those relationships are very structured and very little to no rules or protocols. I myself don’t particularly like being called daddy, not that there is anything wrong with it just not my thing. I’ve seen Daddy doms out with brat baby girls, the acting up and throwing fits not my thing. My hat does go off for all the patience those guys have.

The do it now doms with no rules, no nothing just do it.

The dom who is somewhat organized but tends to get lax and not enforcing any rules. Although there is more control than the just do it now dom.

I will say there are master/slave relationships where the master is a just do it now master. I’m not saying that is bad, because if it works it works. As long as both are happy that is all that matters.

You have the controlling dom, who barks orders and wants to know why it took you 15 minutes at the store when it only takes 12 minutes. The dude who wants all your passwords and you give in. The dom who has a temper. The dom who cuts you off from the outside world. This is called a insecure idiot dom, he’s always accusing you of cheating and depending on the guy it can get physical. This is the clueless dude and he cuts you off from others because he does not want you to find out he’s actually stupid. However these could be another side, the relationship could be totally consensual. Go figure.

Then the elusive married dom, who is constantly on the prowl for a new victim. His relationships are short lived because his cover gets blown or the submissive gets tired of being second. The married dom strays because he needs to find someone who will do things his wife won’t do. The wife may not suck dick or take it up the ass. He’s not going to divorce because he has to much to lose. However there is a small percentage of subs who do not care if he’s married and perfectly fine being on the back burner.

The fact is you the master determines the outcome of your relationship. The type of slave you have, will determine the amount of time you are willing to invest in training . If you are just a bark orders and expect it to be done, that is all you will have .

You want the slave to want to serve you, you want the slave to have the need to serve you. You want the slave to respect you, you cannot demand respect, it is earned.

You as the master must keep your word, even when it comes to rules, remember rules are for the betterment of the slave. Rules are meant to be productive when it comes to the slaves everyday life.

When Arianna and I were negotiating our relationship, I explained everything in such detail there were no questions. You cannot truly negotiate the terms if the slave does not understand them.

We do not have the right to criticize someone because of the dynamic. If their way works then it is the right way.

Contracts are good, Arianna and I have a verbal contract. Written contracts are good but will not hold up in a court of law. I suppose a written contract can be a reminder to physically see.

There are many different types of masters , there are many different books when it comes to masters. You just have to find the book you the slave feels comfortable with.

Ownership

It seems the lifestyle is moving more towards kink. It seems the lifestyle is more about sex than anything else. I suppose it may be easier to get laid and move on to the next. I can see if one is not looking for a relationship it could be a good thing. The upside is there is no responsibility or care.

Someone left a message stating there was no way in maintaining a relationship such as ours without being mentally ill. There was no way we could have a productive life and make anything of ourselves.

That statement is 100% incorrect as there are millions who live a D’s or M’s relationship. I can say I’ve not met a couple who lives as we do. I’m not saying they are not out there, I’ve just never met.

Speaking of being successful, I have 14 months and I can retire, yes at the age of 62 and be comfortable. However I am about to throw a wrench into it and maybe not retire.

It has been a life long dream to own a Bar, why? I’ve always wanted that cheers Tv show feeling, kinda like one big happy family. Good service, good food and awesome music and I’ve found just the bar.

There is a catch though, Arianna wants no part of it and I completely understand. She left her place of employment after 23 years so she could start the second part of her life as far as careers. I will also admit Arianna also thought that I would never be approved for financing on my own hahahaha.

I had two options and the first fell through because, get this. The older couple in their late 70’s for some reason never filed taxes. Why? Who does that when owning a business?

The land the bar sits on is worth more than the asking price. So I would be buying land that just happens to have a bar sitting on it with a liquor license.

The look on Ariannas face when i produced a email saying approved. The look of shock was priceless as she just stared at me. Not only was I approved for the asking price but a years worth of capital. Total shock.

Much the same when 6 years ago I approached Arianna about buying a home, she said Master we cannot afford and we do not have 20% down. At that time we were paying nearly 3.000 a month with utilities.

You should never tell me I cannot do something, never. So I found a house and at first Arianna did not like until we looked at it. Then again, Master we cannot afford and the 20% down.

I went to work and one day I told Arianna we had a phone conference with a broker. Again the look on her face was priceless. The broker, well the house appraised 7.500 hundred more than the asking price so there will be no down payment because it was being financed through USDA and no closing cost because we figured in the 7500 into the loan. Again that fucking look. Oh but there is more because I love those looks, homeowners insurance, 1% deductible hahaha, again that look. We walked out of closing with the previous owner handing over 2500.

How much out of pocket if I purchase the bar? How about 2500.

You can do anything you want, you can achieve anything in life you want, all you need is the want and the drive . Although Arianna and I are successful, we are far from being rich. We enjoy life and do pretty much anything we want to.

Arianna has the degree and I have a degree in street smarts. I dropped out of school in the 6th grade to help support my family and so I could by clothes. At 15 I worked full time in a cotton mill making 2.85 a hour, the minimum wage at that time was 2.35. 40 hours made me 114.00 a week 10 hours over time gave me a extra 42.00, around 156.00 a week which in the late 70’s was pretty good money. I joined the US Army at 17 and made a lot less with grossing 189.00 a month.

I apologize I tend to get off topic so just bare with me.

Again you can do anything you want to in life, there is nothing or anyone holding anyone back. The one thing I tell people is your credit means everything and I mean everything. Getting approval for 500K for a bar was mostly based on my credit and credit card usage. Your car insurance as much as it’s wrong is based on your credit, your down payment on a new car and your interest rate is based on your credit. Your deposit for utilities is based on your credit.

I remember being able to walk into a bank and borrow without a credit pull, yea that was a long, long time ago. Walk in the bank and wave at the VP and say Frank I need 7.000, I’m going over to bobs and eat some breakfast, I’ll be back in about a hour . Yea 20 years old and the loan was giving based on my reliability and my word.

Ariannas step brother is going through trade school to be a welder. I’m thinking 25.000 for trade school while it’s not bad there are avenues he could take and it would be free. There is a large theme park here who will pay a 100% of school and start out at 21.00 a hour and top out at 35.00 or so.

Again your credit is everything, and if you are in a slump you can fix it without having to pay anyone to fix it for you, it just takes a little work.

Which brings me back to Ownership.

It’s not about credit it’s about credibility, honesty and keeping your word. It’s about treating your submissive or slave with the upmost respect and dignity.

Once they move in, let them make any changes to the house they want to. This is to not only build confidence within the relationship but it gives them a peace of mind knowing they belong.

We as Dominants have to give back double. We should be available 24/7 365, not only to support but to communicate. Anything less will turn into a failure.

I’ve heard from other subs and slaves mostly in LD relationships they would text and it could be days before they hear back. That is unacceptable, it takes 5 seconds to respond back. This tells you the submissive, you are not a priority. You are not his number one.

I have a friend who brought the lifestyle up to his wife and she agreed to give it a try. However he is fixated on just punishing. This is from a lack of experience. Now he wants to add a second submissive and he does not have his home under control.

The Master trains to fit his needs and wants, while we provide the needs to the slave, if all the needs are provided, there will be no wants and if there is, wants are earned not given

I’ve mentioned the Movie The Stepford Wives before, even as a teen I was blown away at the thought of being able to change someone into something you want. I started young in the lifestyle without even knowing

Arianna and I live a micromanaged relationship, that was her only need when we were negotiating our contract. By doing just that, I get anything in return I want . Our sex life is based on free to use, meaning anytime and place while she’s doing anything. Could be cooking, cleaning , on the phone or even sleeping. There are exceptions, such as she’s not feeling well , I know when she’s out of it from working or maybe the flu or something, I do take that into consideration.

It’s important that the submissive understands the negotiation process. It’s also important to let them speak when negotiating. It’s also ok for them to say no to something you need. When the word no comes up you the Dominant have to decide if you can let it be a no or just explain she’s not the one for you. If you agree to go along with the no, that is the end of the conversation. You agreed to mark a need off of your list and you have to stick with it.

Something that I found funny, I was called a Misogamist by someone in the lifestyle. At first I was taken back by the word but this came from someone who can’t even maintain a relationship. I treat Arianna with the upmost respect as I do other females, not just in the lifestyle. It is not men who build the home, it is the female. It is the submissive who keeps the home in check. I pickup behind myself, I do most of the cooking and dishes. I have never called Arianna names out of anger.

It was not until late 2020 we had our first real argument. We were both working full time jobs and had a karaoke business on the side. We had Covid really bad and both of us were out of work for about 13 weeks. The hours took its toll on us so it began. I was also taking a medication called Gabapentin that made me angry, which I no longer take. 8 years went by before our first argument, 8 years. You should never raise your voice or call names out of anger and then expect them to lay on their back.

Those who criticize the way we live, only do so because they wish they could be like us.

Vile

Our 10th anniversary

Wow! 10 years really flies by when you are having fun.

Ok 2020 was a bad year but we survived , it took a lot of work for both but we are back.

Every year I do something special and my biggest issue is I try to out do the previous year.

Gaylord Palms in Orlando, they treated us like royalty. It was not to busy so they gave us a small section of the restaurant.

The Hardrock in Daytona Beach, when we opened the door rosé petals were all over the room, a cake and a bottle of wine.

However this year was somewhat of a disappointment. I made reservations at a restaurant called Blackrock and from looking at it , it should of been a awesome experience.

We ordered our appetizer then our main course, for the steaks they bring out a 700 degree Lava rock that you yourself cooks the steak to your liking.

We arrived 10 minutes early and was told there was no available seating with waitstaff. There was no mention of our anniversary, Arianna just looked at me and I said well fuck me. We were then escorted to the bar where they had a small booth and a very badly torn seat and the bartender waited on us. The food was ok nothing special. I truly felt bad, not for me but Arianna.

We both gave each other new rings for our 10th. We did not exchange at the restaurant but waited until we arrived home.

I belong to a couple of KIK groups, about 6 months ago a friend invited me, fuck I had not been in a chatroom since 1992 on collarme.

It seems as though the lifestyle has turned more kink oriented today. I’m not sure why, I am going to guess it is easier or something.

I am looking forward to the next 10

Vile

The Collar part IV I think

The collar is very sacred to me, even more than a wedding ring. Over the years the collar has lost its meaning as well,It no longer has the same meaning or effect it once held.

Often in the past it could take a year or even several to earn a collar. Even today if something is given to you, it does not mean as much as it would if you worked for it.

I am speaking for myself, others may have different thoughts or opinions and that is ok.

I have a check list I follow, and a collar is not even mentioned until the check list is complete. Being able to follow rules , protocols, directions and of course the ability to please , not just in a sexual context but conversation, taking a interest in my hobbies and thoughts. All of these come into play before thinking about a collar.

My initial training is roughly 90 days, during that time, I do give a collar of protection. This could be a chain or a simple piece of leather. It lets others know in the lifestyle she belongs to me.

It could be less time but generally 90 days or so will bring out the true intentions. Is the slave serious? Is the lifestyle for the slave, mentally and emotionally?

Although sex is not the main course, it does play a Hugh part in any relationship. So the first 90 days is pretty intense when it comes to sex. I use on a daily basis, how and when I want. I had friends over and Arianna would be under the table blowing me while we all talked. At times asking her to lube me up, she would ask with lube or my mouth? Good girl. She knew what was next.

As far as training, the same goes for the master, true colors come out in about 90 days. Is he real or is it just some fantasy? If not real he will become bored pretty fast because it’s really a lot of work.

One year after we met, we were married and I collared Arianna during the wedding ceremony. One year it took for me to decide on collaring. Now I would of still married her, why? In today’s time it is nearly impossible to find the one, I mean it took me 45 years. Much of those years were my fault, moving from relationship to relationship. Yup my failures and mine alone. Many want to blame the slave but in reality it’s the masters fault, most of the time.

A potential slave meets a master for the first time, he has already stopped my pet supermarket and picked out a nice pink dog collar. The two don’t even know each other and after 20 minutes of conversation, he slides the dog collar to you. I want to collar you and make you mine. Ok! You don’t even know the dude and he wants to start training by sucking his dick in the parking lot. Do you not know how to suck a dick already? At this point, he has no real investment, well ok the 12.99 he spent at pet supermarket.

You know absolutely nothing about him and he knows less. He does know you have a mouth and pussy he is ready to conquer.

The collar, a sign of ownership, two people are dedicated to each other.

One of the push backs I received with potential slaves was the collar. Most refused to wear 24/7 because they were afraid of people noticing it. Arianna has worn hers for 10 years and one person made the comment he knew what it was, that was the end of the conversation.

Arianna threw me off because there was zero resistance. She did what she was told without question. Here is something, it was after we married and collared her before she fell in love . That is the truth, it took well over a year.

Now I am just a average looking guy and Arianna is smoking hot. How did I do it? I stayed focused learning from my past mistakes. I stayed the path and did not change, if anything I became stricter.

Just don’t let some dude give you a dog collar.

The Training part 3 or something

You have met the one, you have found the slave who you think will fit your needs. Compatibility means everything, it just cannot be about sex or BDSM. You have to become friends before anything, you have to know each other outside of the way you live.

Training is not about barking orders or getting your dick sucked. Training is not about overloading the slave with rules that you cannot even remember. Training is not about isolation from family and friends. Training is not about humiliation or degrading.

Training is about changing one’s habits , changing one’s way of thinking. Training is implementing rules and protocols of your house.

I will admit during training I did use a bit of humiliation, however this was meant to put the slave on a different level and mindset.

As a master you might of experienced several relationships not working out and ending. One thing I hear often is, she was not submissive enough or she would not listen. Always putting the blame on the submissive. If this is the case then it is probable the next relationship will fail. Until you can recognize the pattern of the failures, the new relationship will most likely crash and burn.

You have to have a plan, you have to know who you are training. You both have to know each other’s goals and what you both want out of the relationship.

While I do not share what would be taking place or my training process, I used the information I gathered over a period of several weeks, so I could determine the path I was going to take. I’ve spent several weeks not days getting to know the slave, I mean really getting to know her.

Prior to Arianna I knew why my last relationship failed so I was determined not to make the same mistake. I was determined to make this one work out and not make the same mistakes.

Life is based on two things and two things only, choices and consequences, nothing more.

Guilt can play a huge role in a relationship, many want to be a dominant or master but guilt takes its toll. Many have a high first starting out but then the guilt hits them. The thoughts of mistreating or abuse, however if the relationship is consensual on both partners then there is no reason to feel guilty. That is a heavy stone to turn. The bad can be the slave sees you have changed and you are not who you said you were.

Those who are controlling or have a low self esteem tend to cut the slaves world off, this being from family and friends. He demands passwords to your social media accounts and often your checking account. Those are big red flags.

While depression runs through the lifestyle, a dominant or master who suffers from depression cannot maintain a healthy relationship, for the most. I do not believe it would be healthy for either.

This is from my own experience, it takes about 90 days for both to adjust to the new environment and relationship. It will take at least 90 days for the slave to start to adapt to not only the environment but to rules and protocols.

It seems the main word most masters use the most is punishment. Always looking for a reason to punish. I myself do not have that much time, nor do I just want to sit around and wait on a rule to be broken. My time is worth more than that, there are mistakes that are going to be made, We have to be able to determine if a mistake was made or just a fuck you. I am not one to put up with a lot of bull shit, you either want to be or not be.

When you ask someone about their training technique, most of the time there is no real answer. A master told me once he was training a new slave and I asked what it consisted of, he said the usual. What the fuck does that mean?

When the relationship fails it’s the slaves fault, she was not a real slave or not submissive enough.

We create what we need in our life. We take someone and transform them into something that fulfills our needs, realistic needs. All of this is possible with the proper guidance and understanding that it takes time.

When we first met Arianna had me on a pedestal, something I did not ask for nor did I understand why. 4 years past and we are out and she sees the first time I showed my anger. It was not towards her it was someone else. She saw that I was in fact human.

I have a very small circle of friends, I can count on one hand and I like it that way. I for the most dislike people, does not matter who you are or where you come from. I’ve worked from home the last 12 years and I love it. Last year I was offered a job with the government and I turned it down just because of having to be around people.

The slave always comes first, even before friends and family. The slave has to feel not only wanted but secure.

How do you as a master see your house? What type of slave and what I mean is, looks, personality, build, hair color and so on. How about the slaves demeanor? All of these must be thought out before agreeing to enter a relationship.

My definition of a slave is as follows. Humble, loyal, dedicated to service be it domestic or sexual.

What type of slave are you looking for ? Looks , build, personality, education? All of these thing you have to take into account. Do your kinks align with the potential slaves kinks? How about your personal beliefs or even political?

You must commit for at least 90 days straight . Have a plan in place. Have a complete training plan in place and stick to it.

Sitting, eating , walking, the way the slave speaks and responds to you. You are implementing new habits and that takes time.

Only start out with a few rules, and the rules should benefit the slave. Yea no panties rule does not count, that is stupid to even bring that up as a rule.

Mistakes are going to be made, a mistake does not mean punish, ignoring you does.

Service does not mean the slave is replacing your mother. The first time Arianna came to my house, it was spotless. I cook and still do most of the cooking today. I kept a clean house as well as laundry, how ever I did drop mine off.

Before you start, the relationship should of already been negotiated and both have come to a agreement. You cannot change the rule to suit you midway through training, that is not fair and can be confusing.

Now to the fun part, you are going to use your slave on a daily basis. Use as often and how you like. What you are doing is setting the pace of the relationship and the expectations of what is to come.

The slave will need down time, friends and family is very important. This also gives the slave a opportunity to recharge. Isolation should never be part of a master / slave relationship

You can create the perfect slave