Archive for the Living Poly Category

Some Have A Very Dark Side , Michael Makai

Posted in Bad Dominant, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Online Relationships, Charles Michael Segaloff, consequences, Convicted Sex Offender, Fake Dominants, http://housemakai.wordpress.com/, human trafficking, Living Poly, Manipulation, Michael Makai, morals, Poly couple, poly slaves, Polyamory, Polygamist, polygamy, Self Proclaimed Master, Slave, Submissive, Total Servitude / Solitude on December 26, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am going to say it was roughly two years ago I received a phone call , at that time I was very interested in starting a internet radio show , and today I am still pondering the idea. It is a long time commitment if I were to venture into such a thing.

The call came in and the number was blocked , I found that to be somewhat odd but I took it anyway , note this was already prearranged. I had a million questions and then a few more, as I was talking the answers I was getting , were in a belittling format , but I just looked over it because it was apparent the person I was speaking with on the phone was not who he portrayed himself to be…. It was not long after I unfriended  him from social media.

So a somewhat successful book it would seem he was at the top of the world , but I am sure the closet was getting so full the door would not shut, so he manipulated others to stand and hold it closed , if that makes any sense.

Thinking back about all the people I have met in the lifestyle ive noticed one thing , and that would be manipulation. Manipulation runs wild like a cancer, preying on those who have no clue about the lifestyle or maybe even infatuation plays a part , but there is a trigger..

No matter who you are, or think you are, or the game you are playing you always get caught. The world crashes down around you , the walls cave in around you and there is no place to run , or even any friends to turn to , because everyone runs and hides.

It is funny you think you have a million friends but then you find out your really alone, I cannot even imagine how that would feel, on any level.

So who am I speaking of ? I was not going to bring up any names but I have changed my mind.

If a 17 year old contacts a grown man , the only words that should be spoken is I cannot help you. Mike was contacted via face book this is where the relationship began.

I am speaking of no other than Charles Michael Segaloff , or as many know him as Michael Makai

I want to go over a few things first before I begin my rant. A Dominant is a leader in the community , reaching out to those in need , and not expecting anything in return. As we grow older we want to share what we have learned over the years, while my way or our way may not be yours maybe there would be something you could put to good use. While I cannot fix you or your relationship , maybe some of my advice just might come in handy.

When someone wants to profit from your needs or questions , this is not the trait of a real Dominant. I am proud to say I did not purchase any of his books, I did listen to about 10 minutes of his boring radio show.

You always get caught no matter how good you are, be it cheating , drugs , or picking up a 17 year old girl so you can have sex with her, more troublesome driving 2500 miles to pick her up and really thinking your going to get away with it.

Just thinking that makes you a dumb ass , and acting on it makes you stupid.

I cannot even think why A man or a Dominant could think that a 17 year old would even understand the lifestyle , but when you turn it into manipulation that makes it a different story.

When someone thinks they can just pickup a 17 year old girl and think no one is going to miss her or report her missing, then that makes you really stupid.

What I find really upsetting is he was able to form a 501 non-profit on the study of Polyamory, wow really ? Being a convicted sex offender since 2001, you would of thought someone would of caught that..

I am going to share some recent articles along with news paper releases..

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/bdsm-author-allegedly-lured-girl-small-town-sex-family-article-1.2475835

http://www.kswo.com/story/30818181/lawton-author-charged-for-bringing-teen-from-new-york-for-sex

I also have the Arrest Warrant that was shared with me on Facebook , which was more than happy to share all the emails and chats, as they should have…

So it is not like the lifestyle already has a bad name , I am not sure if this will make national news or not Mike is really a nobody…

 

 

 

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/10895088/1-main%20copy.pdf

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/10895088/1-main%20copy.pdf

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/10895088/1-main%20copy.pdf

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/10895088/1-main%20copy.pdf

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/10895088/1-main%20copy.pdf

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/10895088/1-main%20copy.pdf

BDSM The Problem Is The Lack Of Education

Posted in Arianna, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM Education, BDSM Munch, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Collar, collaring ceremony, communication, Dominants, http://mast.net/history.php, kinkster, kinky, Living Poly, Living Triad, MAST, Master And Slave, Masters And Slaves Together, munchs, Open Minded, Protocols, slave, Stephan Pot, Submission, submissive on May 31, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am always starving not for food well yes I am but Arianna has put me on a diet , well she did not put me on one I agreed to go on one. I am starving for information when it comes to the lifestyle , I watch , I listen , and I ask questions. I am a people watcher , I watch and I listen, I am observing how someone sits , how they use body parts when talking , or sitting and bouncing knees when talking , nothing gets by me. Just meeting you , you have about 15 seconds to make a friend. I have very few friends and I have my reasons, my number one is drama , and two most of the time when you have a friend they have a motive , what can you do for them? Fifteen seconds to make a friend and I know after the first 15 or 20 words out of your mouth is I am going to like you. I can count on one hand and tell you how many true friends I have , and these are friends who would drop what they are doing if I ever needed them or something.
Even on Fetlife most of my friends on my profile I have met I have 49 friends and I have met roughly 40 maybe a little more. Someone will send me a request who lives ahhh I don’t know Dallas Texas and I look at their friends list and they have 5.000 friends man please. I have added people who follow my blog, and most of us email each other, but if you have 500 friends how are you going to make time for me?

The era of the internet , it has exploded over the past ten years , you can find anything and it is right at your finger tips. Dating sites have exploded , craigslist WOW , and even BDSM sites.

Before the explosion The lifestyle was still around it was just not as easy to meet people, so you had to kinda feel people out , it was like dark and underground. More Taboo , or sick , kinda like incest.
People were sneaking around not wanting people finding out who or what they were into. The long Trench coats with hates to cover their face , it was really funny.

There were kinky parties , Private dungeons you had to be invited to. You would be met somewhere , interviewed then a decision was made to let you come or not and many times the answer was NO.
Safety was a much bigger issue , the older Dominants looked out for the subs and slaves. The older Dominant would school the younger Dominants, it was a very tight group group a small community.

San Fransisco wow Broadway st. I was at a titty bar one day and had been there since it opened around 10am around 7pm I walk out then sun had gone down , and it looked like the village people convention , of course it did not help when I called the police and reported my car stolen and it was parked across the street. After the sun goes down San Fran is a different city , and I suppose at the age of 20 it was intimidating , as much as I remember. I enjoyed visiting fishermans wharf and china town the food was awesome.

While stationed at Ft Ord I happened to stumble across a few kinky clubs , but people were paranoid , kinda like smoking pot and you keep looking out the window. Sitting in someones house thinking they are going to be raided at anytime. I found this to be very awkward because we were doing nothing , except talking.

Even today most who are in the lifestyle are scared and ashamed of who and what they are. BDSM has to be a secret no one can know. What will my fiends think of me ? What will my family think of me ? Co-workers today all someone has to do is google your name , and it is out there. I was in my yahoo mail a month ago or so and I was messing around with the settings or something , and I called Arianna in because I found pictures that were taking in the 90’s online and I had no idea they were there.

It is not like I care but if something happened to me the last thing I want is my family going through my stuff and finding , rope , leather hoods , leather restraint’s , vibrators , rope put away all nice and neat. and a large dog crate in my closet and we do not even own a dog. So okay my family knows , most of my friends know well okay all because I do not have any vanilla friends..

Okay so your a professional and you do not want your life all over the break room, well if you think no ones knows, then your some kind of stupid. Over the years at work Ive been called out or little remarks were made and for the most I just ignored as if nothing was said , unless it got to stupid for me then I would speak up.

All of the above falls back to a lack of education and for the most you cannot educate the vanilla world because there is way to much stupid going around. People are so judgmental, politically correct , wanting to point fingers, telling you how your abusing your partner. The truth is it is their life that is all fucked up , and you know it but you cannot say anything.

I am not saying you put a BDSM patch on your back and announce to the whole world your kinky , but why live in fear ? Why worry what someone else thinks about you ? Why worry if your family finds out ? These people you worry about are any of them making your car payment ? Your house payment ? Maybe they want to flip the bill for your next service on your car ?

Living a double life is way to much work and I would imagine it is pretty stressful as well. Maybe kinda like Batman , or Superman

The lack of education within the community , where Arianna and I live there is Zero gatherings that off any type of lifestyle education. We did attended a munch Thursday night , fuck what a long day we had. Wednesday night one of Ariannas friends wanted to go to Karaoke , so you know me I was game. The Retro Room is the name of the bar, its okay the service for the most sucks, but the drinks are good. So after talking with the DJ for a little the blonde Bartender comes over and she says Tequila sunrise ? Yup thank you. So about every 20 minutes she would just bring another , and another , and another , then I asked for a double, and another and another, and when my face was numb I stopped, I knew I had enough. I love hearing Arianna sing and one night I will record it and post the music.

Although I drink some when we go there it had been a long time since I had been sideways , or what some may call blind, but I was feeling good. The couple that came is new to the lifestyle and I am trying to be nice on Arianna’s behalf because she really likes the submissive, who is really not submissive she is only acting the part because of her partner. Okay enough of that.

Home late I am feeling right and up at 7.30 out the door and we head to the west coast to a park called Fort Desoto.
fort-de-soto

Arianna wanted to go sea shell hunting for her salt water tank , so her little crabs would have new homes. The water was incredible I was chest deep and could look down and see my feet and all the small fish swimming around. At one point two manatees swam as near as a hundred feet from me , that was awesome.

So off we go head home we took a half hour nap , and off to a munch we go , I am some kind of tired. The restaurant was a small upscale place , with finger foods and wine. What was really awesome about 25 people showed up so the place was packed. They were suppose to close between 6pm and 8pm but they also had a wine tasting going on at the same time.

The topic was suppose to be safe words, but with the layout of the place it was almost impossible and with people walking in and out made it impossible. It was brought up to the moderator that there was no need to have educational classes and a monthly get together would be just fine.

Okay no problem but now you can start to see a pattern now , this is all about change and in someways I do understand but for the most I do not.
I have been talking to the moderator for a couple of months about getting something going and she agreed until Thursday night..

Last week I contacted MAsT International and I requested a New Chapter Formation Petition. So now all I have to do is wait it out to see if I can get approved.

http://mast.net/history.php

MAsT International is an educational based group for all genders who believe in power exchange relationships. Groups are held for all to learn and participate. Monthly discussions on topics about the power exchange relationships. Which would include safety, relationships , structure and so on. Like many Munchs or gatherings there is no play parties it is strictly educational.

The Weekly and monthly group Arianna and I attend , we were hoping the moderator was going to put something together as far as something educational.
That would of meant I could of helped instead on taking on a new project. That is not going to happen so now I will take things into my own hands. The key is to schedule so there is no conflict with other dates in the local community here, which can be done with ease.
I also believe in this area a MAsT would do well because there are those who are truly interested in learning , and we also have a population of around 200.000. Where we live it is called four corners meaning four counties are connected , so I am not just servicing one county.

The Kink side of BDSM is just a treat but it is not the base of the relationship. The enjoyment comes from the power exchange as long as it is consensual.
Setting the foundation , moving into the needs for the two, then exploring the inner self as you both continue to grow. Taking each and every step so it allows you to define your relationship, a TPE relationship can be awesome. It is when you start to try and cut corners , this is where the problem come into play. Once your negotiations are set in stone you can then move forward.

Stephan Pot here on wordpress sent me a comment about a collaring ceremony he was invited to , and was stating how intense it was. Collars are earned not giving because you want to own someone. As with anything it means nothing or has no value if something is not earned.

The education process has changed so much in the last 10 years , I do know change happens , and at times change can be good , but what I am finding what you are finding , what we are finding people are getting hurt , relationships are short lived, and some even take their own lives. This stems from the lack of knowing , the lack of education and the lack of caring.

dirt

Vile

We Are Still Moving Forward

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, Christians, church, FaceBook Vile Woods, Living Poly, Living Triad, Master And Slave, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive, The World Of BDSM, Thekinkyworldofvile, Vile, Vile Radio, Vile Woods on FaceBook with tags , , , , , , , on September 27, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

The last two months have been seriously crazy. While my career as a car salesman are blowing in the wind, the 60 and 65 hours a week, and still running our home, and yes much needed Blogging time, ahhh yes my down time, my home away from home.

As I sit on the couch, and I think about how I rolled up a piece of paper like a Dildo and handed it back to the public relations manager and told her it looked like it would fit, I laugh inside, what a fucking relief.

Working as a car salesman if you are not in the little click, it can be very difficult. You can be good at a job, but you can be prevented from being good if you do not fit in.

I never ate lunch with the boys, I never joked around with them.
While standing outside hearing the men moan and bitch about how bad their life was at home. There is nothing worse than a whining man, you is acting like a little bitch. It is really , really sad when a man cannot run his own home. More than half were fucking around on their wife including the general manager.
You know if your going to stoop so low to fuck around, at least fuck around with someone better than what you have.

I am very vocal in my beliefs. It is funny because I will say something to someone and Arianna’s eyes get huge, like no he did not just say that.

Anyway I brought up a subject a couple of months ago, about Vile Radio, and yes it is still coming, like I stated things have just been wacky. There has not been anything I have not been able to handle, I strive better, when I am pushed.

There were times I became somewhat stressed but I really have no signs of being stressed, I just get kinda quite.
I am also one to believe everything will always work out, and so far in my lifetime it has, maybe not exactly the way I wanted but it does.

Someone made a comment here not log ago, that rules are made to be broken. Well no they are not, even I have rules I have to follow in everyday life. I have mentioned a thousand times if you go through life and you do what your suppose to by the book, life will be good. As soon as you start trying to take short cuts, and things get fucked up, you have to rush so you can blame someone else. We all know its not our fault so we have to blame someone else.

We were in the process of moving, and we were down to a month, but when I saw the added stress it was putting on Arianna, I advised her we would be moving at a later date, so I opted to sign another lease for a year.

I like having a plan, in everyday life we should wake in the morning with a plan. It makes the day so much easier. Things do come up, as well as obstacle’s, but again the by the book thing.

So we are still looking and once we find a place then, I will start putting everything together.
So who is going to pick our new home? It will be Arianna, Arianna has to fall in love with it, and the kitchen is the deal breaker.
Me I could really give a fuck, as long as it is nice and clean, and public enemy number one is not selling drugs next door.
I have also been working on two books. I have released one short story already as most of you know. The Breaking Of Sabrina. A very short story, but a second is in the making and will prove to be much better and longer.

The main book I want to do is about building BDSM relationships, and being able to maintain what you have. It will also cover abuse, and what to look for when meeting a new Dominant.
I will also go into great depth about Training, and what I do and the steps I take.
It will not be much about sex. I just want to show everyone how it is possible to have an awesome relationship in our lifestyle.

I do have another Author helping out her name is Lea Barrymire
http://leabarrymire.blogspot.com/?zx=80d58364c2fa41c

I can assure you it will be good and it will have a ton of good information.

What I say here is just my opinion, and nothing more. What works for me may not work for you, but I can give you the foundation to build on.

What bothers me is when someone visits, and they want to blast me, telling me I am wrong.
Don’t get me wrong, I love comments, I love interacting with everyone, and I have made some good friends.
The truth is we are all right, while there are books out there that will give you someone good information, you have to find what works for you.

I have never gone to another Blog and bashed someone because of their views.

What I can tell you about me, is I have been in the lifestyle for more than twenty years, I know hundreds if nota thousand people, and I am very respected here in the local community.

So those of you who want to Bash me because of an opinion I have or something I have stated, you can go fuck yourself. I did say that in a polite Manner. so no need to get upset.

I have really grown over the past twenty years, and I have made many mistakes, I have been the abuser, not in a physical way it was more mental, and taking advantage of others feelings, mainly not giving a fuck.

I had a blog not long ago called, You can have your whore, and fuck me the Christians went fucking nutty, I believe it was a Morman, not that it matters

I am totally against Organized religion, for many reasons, one it is all about money and power. The Catholic’s condone child molestation. While I do enjoy watching Joel Olsteen from time to time, his net worth is about 150 million.
I am not ragging on the rich either I love to see others get ahead in life. I just see to much taking from the poor to feed the rich.

I have said before I am not politically correct, I know I am not. The reason being I am not going to live my life, to make others like me. I am not going to by pass the truth in fear of hurting someone’s feelings. If you speak to pacify others you are not being you, you are being someone else just so someone will like you.
So if you do not like my blog, or I offend you, once again just right click the X.

I know when we walk into a Munch or MAsT who likes me and who does not, but you know what ? I am good with that, I still sleep at night with a clear conscious.

So we will move in the near future, we will narrow our new home to two places, and we have one Arianna is in love with. Once we find the one, I will start putting everything together.

The biggest thing was finding someone who could move our fish aquarium , it will have to be disassembled, the fish will be bagged up and then moved. We were able to find are doing.
someone, imagine that, and someone who knows what they

Arianna and I had talked in the past about a closed Triad, I suppose that is on a hold for now, as we have not talked about it now for a couple of months.
The main problem that main her change her mind was it seemed to be more trouble than it was worth.
The key was to find the perfect fit, and everyone was either not real and playing a very bad joke, or they wanted us to adjust to their way which would never happen.
Who knows one day someone may pop out and Arianna would say WOW okay lets try this.
The one thing I could not get clear was, it was not I they had to get close to, it was Arianna.
So for now we are on hold, or maybe it will never happen.
Either way I am good.

I love doing the Interviews, if anyone would like to volunteer that would be awesome……

naked

Vile

What Makes A Dominant

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, anal sex, Argue, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Collar, BDSM Rules, BDSM Safety, Behavior Modification, Bondage, cheating, Cheating Dominant, Collar, Collared Slave, Collars, Commit, commitment, communication, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Daddy Dom, Depressed, Depression, Dominance, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, FaceBook Vile Woods, fifty shades of grey, Humiliation, Living Poly, Married Dominant, Master, Master And Slave, poly, Poly couple, poly slaves, Polyamory, sex, slave, Spanking, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, submissive or slave has rights with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 12, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is an answer that will differ from one person to another. Every Submissive, Slave, or Baby Girl will have a different definition. Every Slave, Submissive or Baby Girl has different needs, their submissive is on different levels, but the characteristics should be somewhat the same when it comes to A definition.

Honesty should be first on the list. When you first meet a new Dominant the first words out of his mouth is. You should always be honest with me. Now if he holds you to such high standards , why would he not be held to the same ?

I know I rag on married men who cheat on their wives, but if a man is married and he tells you, I want you to be honest with me at all times. You need to stop and think about those words coming out of his mouth, because he is already lying to you about being honest. It is clear he cannot run or control his own home, so how can he control you?

I will speak about couples who move into the lifestyle here in a minute, because there is a clear difference.

You know when meeting a new Dominant you should be able to tell if he has your best interest in mind. Such as asking about your home life, your health, any medications your on. The music you like, your favorite foods, you get the picture.

It is very important the two of you get to know each other as friends.If you start the relationship off on a sexual note, then that is all you will have and it will be short lived.

Make sure you fully understand what is expected of you. I myself explain things in such detail when I am finished there are no questions. If you ask me a question I give a very in depth answer.

Before a Dominant can hand out any rules, he should know you inside out, He should know how you think and what makes you think the way you do. He must have a clear picture and understanding of your bad and good habits.

I have said before rules are meant to replace bad habits. Rules are meant to provide structure. Rules will give you a comfort zone, meaning you have a clear understanding of what is going on. Once you have rules in place, they are almost never altered. Once you have a grasp on everything a few maybe added or old ones taken away.

Training

Is training real? Absolutely it is real and there are many different levels of training depending on how far you are wanting to take your submission.
Training can be mild, or it can be extreme, and even taking as far as what some would call the Stockholm syndrome, and one of the best references would be to study up on the Patty Hurst case.

You the Submissive or Slave should know and understand exactly what it is you hope to gain out of your training. How do you see yourself living in a D’s Or M’s relationship.
Before the training begins, the Dominant should sit you down and explain what he hopes to gain from your training, and where he hopes to see you in 90 days or so.
The training process can only be effective if the Dominant is consistent on a daily basis. The training can only be effective if the rules, and protocols are enforced on a daily basis.

A Dominant will never ask you to do anything that may put your job in jeopardy. A Dominant will never ask you to do anything that could be against the law.

Isolation

Many of you really have no idea what the term Isolation means when it comes to a D’s or M’s lifestyle. Implementing such an act can be very harmful to you mentally, and physically. Shutting you out from the outside world, keeping you away from family and friends.
Lets face it we all need a break at one time or another. Being able to visit friends, family, having a girls night out. You want to be able to clear your head.
Isolation is something many fake Doms use as a tool. The more your isolated the less chance you have finding out any real information.
You Don’t need friends you have me. You don’t need to talk to anyone else , that is why you have me. I am your Dom, or master I have all the information you need.

You should never give your passwords or any other personal information to your Dominant. This is a true sign of the Dominant being insecure. We are all adults and we all need some privacy. Insecurity, and a huge ego will get you nowhere.
You as a submissive or Baby girl, you have the right to question, you also have the right to say no. If your not sure Google submissive or Baby girl.

If you do not live together you should have full access to your Dominants home, once you both have agreed to enter a relationship.
The reason being, he will tell you what is yours is now his. Well surprise, surprise it works both ways now..

You should have access to your Dominant 24/7 if you are not living together. If you send a text or email, you should expect a response in a timely manner, meaning within an hour or so.
I have seen on her where a Dominant has told his property he was to busy to text, or email for several days.

Pick up your cell phone and type 35 words and time yourself and see how long it takes. 15 seconds maybe? So your going to tell me the Dominant does not have time to respond, yea bullshit.

Remember you have giving your submission, and he the Dominant has taking on the responsibility. You do have rights.

If you do not live together, and you have agreed to enter a relationship, the Dominant should be able to provide you with a clear time line on when the two of you would be making some kind of move. If neither have no plans of moving in together that is fine.

The Poly Dominant

Poly is not for everyone, and living in a poly relationship is probably one of the hardest task in the lifestyle. Most poly families do not life together, for one reason or another. I know of a couple right now that are working but the drama is just out of hand.
If you do not live together, there is no way to maintain any type of structure. If you do not live together, there is no way to enforce any type of rules or protocols.

You the Submissive needs to ask upfront if the Dominant is poly or not. If you are not poly then you need to make it clear, and you need to stand by your words.
If you are open to the idea but with stipulations you need to make them clear.
You should also ask why he has a need to have more than one submissive or slave. When I has asked other Doms the answer has always been I need more flavor. Think about this for a minute, more flavor really? So your cocking sucking skills are not good enough, maybe he needs a tighter pussy? Or maybe you refuse to do anal and that is a need for him. If ass fucking is a need and your not into anal, guess what? Your the wrong submissive for him.

Dominants And Depression

That is a loaded gun, and the clip is never empty. There is a great chance you the submissive or slave has some form of depression, not everyone but the odds are pretty good you do.
If this is the case, how would you expect a Dominant who suffers from pretty much the same thing, take control of your life. If the Dominant is not able to control his own life, how can he control yours?
These are questions you need to find out before entering a relationship. You need to know what type of medications he is on and what they are for.
When entering a D’s or M’s relationship you can leave no stone un-turned.
Depression is a silent killer, watch the news this morning and you will see.

The Dominant.

No real Dominant has anger issues. The real Dominant is in full control. The real Dominant lives by the truth, and expects the same in return. A Dominant is in full control of his life and surroundings. The real Dominant has no Drama inssues, he has no Drama with the Ex.
Most Dominant are very active in the lifestyle it is a true need, I know this because it is for me, and the 25 or so I meet with every month.
You should be able to ask for references, of other Doms he knows and in some cases other Subs he knows or has owned before.

Reason being you are going to let a man tie you up, spank your ass, along with many other things, and you do not want someone who just read 50 shades thinks he is the almighty, he is now the Master of Masters. You can get hurt.

Couples moving into the Lifestyle

Now this is the other Dominant, he may still have some anger issues. Anger or controlling anger takes a while to master, it takes time to learn how to control. It took me some time, I do have a temper, and I have lost it, but Arianna has never seen that side of me and she never will.
You have to learn how to filter that anger and replace it with good.
One thing I started doing, my mentor told me this. If you are angry think about what your going to say before you say it.
This gives you time to rethink what your about to say, and it also gives you time to calm down a little.

If your wife is not Submissive, but you have found a Dominant side in you, if you sat your wife down and explain your needs in full detail, it is more than likely she will agree to experiment with your idea. You have to be able to sat her down, and explain in clear detail what has made you change, and why these things are now a need. In most cases it is in the woman’s blood to want to please.

If you are a submissive and your Husband is not Dominant, well it is sad to say your pretty much out of luck.
Chances are the male is not going to want to take on anymore responsibility than he already has, which in most cases is very little. Those who have very little responsibility, are in it for the mother figure thing , and that is what you are you do everything his mother did, except for sex.

You cook, you clean, you take care of the kids, you pay the bills, and he watches Monday Night Football.
Many married men see BDSM as abuse, and they feel bad about doing certain things.

You all know how I feel about stepping outside of the marriage, it is wrong.
When you got married you exchanged Vows and you made a promise.
If you are not happy leave, it is not fair to you, but more so it is not fair to the other.
How long are you going to live your life unhappy, so when you think about stepping out, think about your family. Why would you want to drag them or your children through your mess.

The Collar
The collar has great meaning. The collar is a sign of ownership. Once around your neck you will feel a bond like no other. This is when your relationship really begins to grow.

The Collar is giving after your first phase of training. The first phase as I call it, can last anywhere from 3 to 6 months. About the same length of time you would think about getting married to someone.
The collar means you are now owned, the collar means you and your Dominant have come to terms and you are now ready to settle in.

If your Dom went to Wal mart and purchased a 6.00 dog collar, you now know how much your worth. If he went to an adult book store and paid 9.99 for a collar, again you now know how much your worth.

The collar is meant to be worn 24/7, so if you are a professional then great care should be taking when he is selecting your collar.

Many 50 shades Dominant have these wal mart collars and will try to give you the collar on the first meeting. This is used as leverage, this gives him more control over you, because you have agreed to submit, and only knowing him in person for a couple of hours.

Last you want to be excepted for who you are, not who the Dominant wants you to be. You want to be loved and cared for, you want communication, you want honesty, you want someone who is going to always put you first no matter what. You want someone who understands you, as a partner and a submissive, you want security, but you want that firm hand as well.
You want a leader who is in control, and stands by his words.

You want a real Dominant.
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Vile

Getting Personal With Me. Things You Did Not Know About Me.

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, anal sex, bdsm, Coming Soon Vile Radio, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Dominant, Dominants, Drama, fucking, Germany, Helping Others, Living Poly, Living Triad, Love, Loyal, married, masochist, Master, Radio, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, sex, slave, Submission, submissive on July 7, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

perfectAss Of The Day

I was giving my nick name some 30 years ago while stationed in Germany, from this goth chick named Gretchen.

Music is an outlet for me, I love Yanni, I love Sarah Chang she is an awesome violinist. I love the rock band Cinderella, Tom keifer just has an incredible voice. I love KISS, but my all time favorite is AC/DC they just fucking rock.

I am very low Maintenance, meaning I am very easy to please. I never complain about food that is put before me, I never complain about clothes I have. I am probably the easiest man to get along with you have ever met.

I quit smoking January 1st after 38 years, two packs a day at 5.75 a pack do the math. I am still on the ecig. When I first started I was using 36 mg of nicotine, today I am down to 6 mg.

Those of you who could not guess I am a Libra, I am also a liberal although I have different views. If I were president, things would be much different.

I have a soft heart for those who are submissive and who are slaves. I enjoy helping people.
I have taking women in to my home and helped, and asked for nothing in return. Some did well after leaving, and some just fell back into the same ol same ol.

I love a good cigar, but since I stopped smoking , I am not ready for one yet…

I love fast cars, old muscle cars. Hearing the rumble,feeling the power.
I am not a mechanic, but some 20 years ago I had two 1972 Monte Carlo’s one was a rust bucket with a good motor, the other was nice with a blown motor. It took me all of 8 hours to change both out.

I love Blackberry Brandy, heated in the microwave for about 10 seconds. My favorite is Jack Daniels. I am a happy go lucky drunk, if I am going to get Hammered I listen to elvis.

If you listen to the Song A Country Boy Can Survive, that is me to a T.

I have shot two men in my lifetime , one was trying to car jack me with a knife, which is pretty stupid, and the other I shot in the ass while he was banging my girl. On that note I have never been in jail, nor do I plan on it anytime soon.
Warning if you try to hurt my family I will hurt you. If you break in my house, you had better be right with the man, because your going to meet your maker.

I fought the IRS without a lawyer and I won. That my friends is the truth. Just me oh yes my State Representative, why pay a lawyer when you pay taxes.

I handle things before they become problems, I do not allow any drama in my life.

I search out music that people have redone, other bands, or talent shows. Most of the music is better.

I like to be told I cant do something, I will prove you wrong.

I take the lifestyle very serious, I do live it 24/7. Arianna knows when we are not together I am a text or call away.

I do implement rules, my rules are not sexual, my rules are meant to help, meant to build structure. I do not believe you can have the same rules for different subs or slaves.

We I use the word train, that is exactly what I mean train. The first 90 days will rock your world.
Now speaking of training, you know Arianna and I have been kicking the idea around about adding another Submissive to our family.
Arianna is a Slave, she is a slave by nature, I am very firm with her, but I am fair, you may ask her. Her rules will be much different that the addition to our home. The submissive would not be held to the same standards , although the structure would be the same.

I do not like to be serious 24/7, the fact is no one knows when I am serious or not. I like to joke a lot.

I am very out spoken, this worries Arianna when we are out in public. When talking to others if I think your bull shitting me I will call you out.

I will never talk bad about another Dominant, by the way I do not consider fake dominants to be in that category, so those are fair game.

I live and walk by the truth, I have no reason to lie. A man lies when he has something to gain.

I get stressed as well , I just get quite, that is my thinking time. I never take my stress out on my partner.

It does not matter what kind of car I drive, in my thoughts it is my Jaguar. As I stated above I am not hard to please.

I am not a sadist, although at one time I was, my first slave was a masochist into humiliation. I did not have that need then and I do not have it now. Don’t break your toy.

I am an excellent cook, baking, broiling, or firing up the grill. When I grill I do not use gas. I love to cook and when I am off, I step in and help Arianna out. I know there are times she needs a break.

I am working on a book, Arianna believes there should be two. I am not doing it for profit, nor am I going to write Fiction, I wrote a story that was fiction and everyone hated it. I mainly want to reach out to those in need.

Vile Radio coming soon, this is going to be so much fun, my blog live on the Air……

That is about it if I happen to think of more I will pass it on..

Vile

I Have Never Abused

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, communication, control, controlling, Discipline, Disrespect, Dominant, Dominants, FaceBook Vile Woods, Humiliation, Living Poly, Living Triad, Master, Master And Slave, poly, Polyamory, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, sucking cock on July 7, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Abused in the physical , I have never hit a woman, nor have I called a woman names out of anger.

Even today as I was ousted from a group on Facebook, by a female, all because she did not like me sharing my point of view about something.

Now I have used in a sense to get what I wanted. When I was younger and I was not ready to commit, I used.

The one thing I can say is I never entered a relationship giving any false hopes. I made it clear from the start I was not there for the long haul.

As many of you know there are a few things I am totally against, Married men who step out of their marriage for sexual satisfaction.
Men who physically abuse women.
Men who verbally abuse woman.
Men who humiliate out of anger.
Men who abuse mentally.

If you are a man in a poly relationship, and your wife is there with you I am all for you man.
If you are a man who is a Triad and it is working , my hat goes off to you. You are the man.

A man with anger issues has no place within our world, a man who lies has no place in our world.

The problem many have is they step into our world and they do not have a clue. nor do they wish to hear anything because they are armed with a trash bag with a few toys and the Book Fifty Shades Of Grey. Now the new found Dominant is ready to embark on new travels.

Before entering a relationship, and your sitting at what I call a powwow, this is the time you both lay your cards out on the table. This is the time you both share your needs and what is expected out of the relationship.
When I lay my cards out, I refuse to bend on anything, by doing this it assures me I am getting everything I need out of the relationship.

This is the time to be honest. This is also the time to make sure you are both looking for the same thing in a relationship.

I am the Dominant you will obey me, I have the final say. Sure you do as long as you don’t get stupid. If you put your home in jeopardy then the submissive has the right to step up and say hey your getting stupid here and it needs to be fixed.

I know a Daddy Dom who is 60 or 61 who has a submissive some 40 years younger who is having to live with his daughter because he cannot hold a job. I am sure this was not part of the cards he put out on the table. I am more sure he painted a total different picture.
If you cannot take care of yourself, how in the fuck are you going to stand and say you own someone?

The good news is with the right chemistry , and the need, along with communication. Your relationship can rock.

Listen to this two years and not one argument not one that means not 1. I have not raised my voice. Okay I shake my head a lot, like wow did you just do that.

I am telling you a Dominant does not have anger issues, a Dominant is not looking for self pity. A Dominant is not looking for the pat on the back.

If you allow a man to degrade you,scream at you, call you names out of anger, and you still spread your legs. That means one of two things, One in some sick way you get off on it, which is perfectly fine. Or 2 you just don’t care.
If you allow a man to beat on you, and you still spread your legs for him, read the above.

It took me years to learn how to control my anger, my anger as in my partner, she spreads for me. I posted a few days ago I do have a temper just not when it comes to my property.
I refuse to let anyone walk over me, I refuse to let anyone disrespect me.

I treat people the way I expect to be treated, if you cannot do that you can suck my dick.

You can break a bitch into submission, but what do you have?
Last a Drunk Mans Words Is A Sober Mans Thoughts

I have Never Been So Offended

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Acceptance, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, being used, Living Poly, Living Triad, Married Dominant, Master And Slave, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used on July 2, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

As the world knows Arianna and I have been looking at the possibility of adding a third to our home.
This is to add to the family. This is meant to not improve anything it is meant to help. At this point and time there is nothing that needs to be improved.

The third has nothing to do with sex, nor does it have anything to do with any kink. We meaning both wants to open our door and allow someone into our home.

You can take three and make a couple a triad a rectangle all ends connect, everyone is within arms reach. You function as one, everyone is there to help each other
The third is there to help the first, to be best friends, to the point they both feel like sisters. They both work together, there is no alpha or beta. Arianna would not be in charge but she would give direction.

Since my first post about us searching I have mentioned nothing about sex, kink bondage anything when it came to forming a Triad.
In the lifestyle it is hard for those who are submissive or slaves to find and keep friends. Most are full of problems and drama, and once they latch onto someone, they are the garbage dump.

So I will fix the problem we shall add another to our home. Let me explain something. This has nothing to do with looks per-say , it has nothing to do with your build, and it has nothing to do if your Bi sexual or not. It has to do with the submissive. It has to do with how well the submissive gets along with Arianna. Arianna is the deal breaker.

Lets forget about Vile for now , because Vile is out of the picture, until Arianna says Master there is a possibility here. Then I step in.
Now from the beginning the submissive and I would get to know each other, once you pass the nutty list, I then introduce the two of you, and I am out of the picture.

Again I have mention nothing about sex. This is not about sex, this is about forming a close tight family. A family that works together.

So this Baby girl who lives with her alpha, in their own apartment, their daddy is married and they both think hes going to leave his wife. He pays none of their bills because he wants them to be independent he treats the alpha like a princess then the beta is a tag along, he does not even have sex with her.
She is never included in any of the vacations, and she cannot see she is being used. So we had been talking, and I am thinking okay this may just work.
We had a lot in common, the same interest and our talks were not about sex.

Her comment was I was looking for a third for all the wrong reasons. I wanted lust. Lust was making me look for a third. I was only interested in sex.
This is someone who was supposedly following mine and Ariannas blog. It now seemed like she was saying Arianna was nothing or she meant nothing to me, it was just Lust. Wow

The lag post I did about abuse, and isolation, making her shut her blog down because she wanted to meet others like her. yup

We have a lot to offer the right one, a very loving home, with no drama, no arguing, no fighting, no abuse, and being part where everyone helps each other grow, it has nothing to do with LUST
Vile