Coming out of the closet

I imagine with some who are living double lives. At home you live as master and slave, but with family and friends you are both the couple with the house and white picket fence.

Over the years many gays have come out and today many are getting married. I applaud those who have the courage to do so. Although LGBTQ community has made progress, there is still much work to be done, My point is many have come forward, because it is important to be who you are.

You live as master and slave, but this is a secret life you both live. Everything is hush hush, you both don’t want anyone to find out. It seems you are afraid of others finding out who you really are.

I would think living a double life might be kinda of stressful at times. Having to keep your kinky furniture hidden because you’re afraid of what people might think.

While Arianna and I do not boast about who we are, we do not hide it. Both sides of our families knows about our way of life.

I remember the cable guy coming over and was in my room, I had a cross on the wall and a spanking bench in the middle of the floor. He was silent and while working he was just looking around and confused. I’m sitting at my desk and he looks at me and I said , my dungeon. Hahahaha. This blank stare came from him and he looked really scared. My mother in law has come to visit and our spanking bench was in the living room.

Here is where the problem is, speaking with the NCSF , National Coalition For Sexual Freedom. Most of the time when they are contacted is when a Dominant has gone to far with play and caused injury. Or going to far and ignoring safe words.

Not knowing how to respond when the police are called, letting them in your home , that is a big No No. instead make sure your girl is with you and explain, the two of you are enjoying adult consensual play. Do not let the police separate the two of you. Do not let them in your home, they cannot enter without a warrant.

NCSF will help as long as you did not get stupid. There are lifestyle lawyers and doctors as well.

If someone can identify as a puppy or pony in public, which is ok because it’s about freedom. Why can’t we identify as master and slave? Afraid of family, your employer, your closest friends finding out, who the fuck cares ?

Another problem is some take it to the extreme, while in a parade marching half nude in public, is that what your lifestyle is about? While I could technically walk Arianna down the sidewalk with a leash, I do not out of respect for other people, and no I am not afraid of offending someone, it’s about respect. You can call me names or say I’m abusing, that does not offend me. The word offensive, offend , offended has no meaning. If you are offended nothing happens, you still wake up the next day. Vile you offended me, um no you allowed me to offend you.

You can identify as anything you want, as long as you are happy, however you do not need my approval. I may not understand and I may not want to, but it’s your life , be happy.

In our community a neighbor was giving some pillows away and Arianna wanted them, we pulled up and frank came out and introduced himself. Hello I am Frank and I’m gay. My response was , well good for you, I mean what do you say? My husband is in the house, ok Coolio. Then he continues, we have rights you know, and I’m like I know you do, but why tell me you’re gay, I already knew ? The whole conversation was awkward, but today we are friends.

I will support you but it does not mean, I am going to march with you waving a flag . It does not matter what side of the fence you are on, do your thing .

Every who follows me knows I am a conservative with some liberal views, I support the 1st amendment, huge supporter of the 2nd amendment and 4th amendment the most, but it does not mean I’m going to go out and march. I have met with state representatives, even gone to a gun range with them, I’ve met with congressmen, senators and our governor, that is my support.

Be who you are just don’t try to push your beliefs on others like a Jehovah witness. Most do not care how you identify.

Anyway this will probably piss a lot of people off.

I hope everyone had a awesome Christmas and I hope you have a kick ass New Year’s

Vile

Arianna singing

Co-Dependency

Many consider being Codependent is a bad thing or an illness that requires hours upon hours of counseling.

Why spend several hours a month with someone whom you know absolutely nothing about spilling your guts out? While I’m not a doctor, nor a counselor , over the past 30 years I’ve encountered 100’s who are codependent.

I’m going to say there is nothing wrong with being codependent. There is nothing wrong with depending on someone. There is one exception though, and that would be being with someone who is taking advantage of you. Taking advantage of how needy you are, how dependent you are on them. Taking advantage of your feelings and emotions, then it becomes dangerous.

What does help is having someone who puts you first. A environment where you feel safe and secure. A environment with structure and drama free. Then you add in a few rules and protocols and it’s a match made in heaven.

I do not drink to often, it’s very seldom. I do like Tin cup whiskey, Jameson cold brew from time to time, and draft beer when we go out. I do not go out with the boys leaving Arianna at home, she is always by my side.

If you feel like you are a priority in a relationship, if you feel like you come first and you have free open communication, that co-dependency will slowly start to vanish.

There are selfish Doms out there that will take full advantage of you. They will argue with you, humiliate you just to keep you down.

Meeting and getting to know a new Dom, should be a slow process. The process should take weeks not a few minutes or days. It does take a while for the real yo come out. Most are on their best behavior for about a month. You do not have to submit until you feel comfortable in doing so. Your number one priority is taking care of yourself.

Peace out, much love to all of you.

Vile

Life Changes

It has been a while since I’ve posted. However there is life and while I try to post, something comes up. My time with Arianna is valuable, so my off time is dedicated to her.

I have a 4 day weekend and Christmas and the day after is paid.

Those who have been following me know I’ve worked from home for the past 12 years, however life changes . Most of the time we can control the changes and at this time I myself was in control.

While I loved working from home, inflation caught up when it came to sales. Taking all bonuses away losing roughly 24.000 a years plus base pay.

Arianna and I were talking and she encouraged me to apply where she works, which is a cement manufacturer. She works in the lab testing the product through out the process. I believe they are going to move her into a chemist position soon.

I filled out the online application, Arianna mentioned my name and I was able to interview. The interview took place on zoom and when I logged in, there were 8 supervisors and the plant manager.

The interview lasted about a hour and I was hammered with back to back questions. In order to get hired all 8 had to agree to bring me on. The one thing that had me worried was my age and the physical aspect of the job.

When Arianna interviewed it took about 7 days for them to get back to her. Once my interview was complete, 3 minutes later I received a email to come on site and tour the plant operations.

I toured the plant which took roughly a hour, and I completed about 35 flights of stairs. Then came the physical and drug test which I had no issue except my blood pressure was somewhat high but I had started medication a few days before.

Boom I was hired.

I started the week of thanksgiving off that Thursday and Friday with pay. I had to complete a mining course and get certified.

I am the oldest there which feels somewhat awkward and by older 15 years or more. There is a safety meeting every morning because it’s really a dangerous field of work. The second day I walk in and everyone looked shocked.

I am titled as a lubrication technician, which means I take temperatures of motors , bearings, keep oil levels in check and grease where needed.

Christmas Eve and I’m still employed.

The company makes the job worth sticking around, management is just incredible and employees come first. That is why I am still there, now Arianna feels bad because she did not think the job was very physical.

So as head of the house when needed we have to step up. We are leaders and we are depended on to keep things flowing.

My original plan was to retire at 62 and work part time with my previous employer. Now I have to regroup.

A few months back I was going to purchase a bar, yea that is crazy but something I’ve always wanted. I was able to obtain financing but fell through because the owners had not filed taxes in several years and kept no books. I knew going into it they were losing money but in my mind I could make it work. I was going to hire a bartender, a female who was easy to look at , good personality and pay her 20.00 a hour. Yea that’s crazy right? 20.00 a hour plus tips. I myself would have handled the cooking.

In order to increase sales I would have added a package store m, a full liquor store. I have an open line of credit with a financial institution up north and the loan process took less than 2 days before it was approved, however taxes. These people were in their 70’s who the fuck does that ?

Things are good though just a change in plans, ahh one issue is my Mini Cooper, at the end of the day I just fall into the car but getting the fuck out. I still love it , it’s really fun to drive, but I’ve been looking at other options, but at 61 do I really want to buy another car?

As many know 2020 was a bad year, we both had Covid really bad and missed about 13 weeks of work. I had never been so fucking sick in my life. That caused a lot of tension and we were working two jobs, one full time and then 20 hours a week doing a karaoke gig. By the way you can make mad fucking money doing karaoke if you have the personality. Arianna was the main draw though and she flirted a lot which was part of the Job and she can sing. I may post a short video of her singing soon.

Our M’s relationship has never been stronger, I’ve made a few changes and things are back in full swing.

I truly appreciate all of you who stop by.

Everyone have an awesome Christmas and a kick ass new year.

Vile

Ahh Arianna’s slave tattoo

I designed

Are you Bipolar? Suffer from depression? Anxiety?

It seems the above is common within the lifestyle and even more today.

I will start off by saying I am not a medical professional nor am I a psychiatrist. However I am speaking from 30 + years of experience. So I am not giving any type of medical advice. Just my own observation.

Bipolar Mania or Hypomania Symptoms 

Symptoms of a manic or hypomanic episode include:1

• Being easily distracted
• Decreased need for sleep
• Delusions or hallucinations
• Elevated or expansive mood
• Grandiosity or inappropriate behavior
• Impulsive risk behaviors (including gambling and lavish spending)
• Increased sexual desire
• Irritability, hostility, or aggression
• Physical agitation and relentless movement
• Racing thoughts
• Talking excessively

That is a lot to take in especially from someone who suffers from Bipolar disorder.

Anxiety, depression and a long list of others can have an effect on a D’s or M’s relationship.

I am a analyst, I love to analyze during a conversation. I am good at reading people. When out like at a restaurant, Arianna will catch me gazing or staring at a couple. What I am doing is trying to figure out what their life may look like. I point out to someone and I tell Arianna, see that guy? He’s abusive, and sure enough at some point you can hear him snap or say something degrading. Or those who have drinking problems, those who are out for themselves. Maybe I have to much time on my hands.

It is possible someone can suffer from Bipolar, depression and anxiety disorders at the same time.

Here is where your master skills come into play.

Arianna sees a doctor and a counselor. I sit in on sessions from time to time, and before Arianna sees her psychiatrist we go over her meds and how she has been doing. We talk about any med adjustments if any.

It does not matter the meds you are on, if your home life is not in order, the medication will not work. If the two of you are constantly arguing or fighting your medication is not going to work.

If you are not getting at least 7 to 8 hours sleep a night, chances are your medication is not working up to its full potential.

When I first met Arianna, I knew within the first 15 minutes of our conversation she was bipolar and suffered from depression. I could see and hear the anxiety in her eyes and voice.

So in my mind I had to determine if that was a road I wanted to travel. Did I want to invest in the time knowing my odds were 50/50?

Kelly was living with me at the time of the first meeting with Arianna. After she left Kelly said you will never pull that in, I just looked at her and grinned. Three days had past and I didn’t hear back from her, so I sent a short text, it was nice to have met you, I hope you find what you are looking for.

My phone started blowing up and in a few hours she was at my house. It was exactly 6 weeks to the date we met she moved in.

It was 3 solid weeks I let Arianna just ramble, she talked and talked and talked. What was I doing ? I was analyzing, taking in massive amounts of information. It was in the first couple of days Arianna told me about being bipolar and having anxiety along with depression. I had her write down every prescription she was taking. I spent hours doing research on every medication she was taking. Why? The side effects if any and what they were intended to do.

At about week three of living with me, she started going to group sessions which I encouraged her to do. One session she started crying and could not stop, she asked repeatedly to call me but did not. Arianna would be gone for nearly 30 days.

So Arianna explained our relationship to her doctor but he did not fully understand, so he wanted to meet with me. As I sat down the doctor seemed to try and make me angry, I was not sure why but I just shrugged it off. He then asked me about our relationship and what it meant, what was the daily routine of a master and slave relationship. He then looks at me and says, she does not want to marry you and he repeated it like 3 times. As I sat there staring at him, I said well that never crossed my mind but did she tell you she proposed to me? He looked at her and she said nothing.

Now we had been talking for over a hour. He excused himself and came back in shortly and looked at me and said I am releasing her today and you can take her home. That is correct, the doctor released Arianna to me.

After we left, I realized she needed a medication change, she was worse than when she first went in. Remember, all of this happened because she got emotional, and the fact she had good insurance.

Now here is the kicker, while Arianna was gone, I got bored one day and started going through her stuff, and what do I find? 20 years worth of journals, yup 20 fucking years of Ariannas life.

Made a pot of coffee, sit down with a pack of smokes, ordered pizza and I was off into Ariannas head. By the way I no longer smoke.

I knew more about Arianna than anyone in her life even her family. I knew what made her tick, why she thought the way she does, habits good and bad. The only thing was left, is to come up with a plan for training.

Finding a new doctor, new medication and we were on a new track.

While negotiating the only need Arianna had was to be micromanaged. Now she’s far from being dumb. She has a degree and had been at the same employer for 17 years and is probably the most intelligent person I had ever met. At times her vocabulary went way over my head , even reading her journals.

Today we make a awesome team and while she is more book smart, I am street smart. I think things out logically and before making any decisions, I look at all the different outcomes. Remember life is based on two things, choices and consequences.

The master should have a questionnaire, that should include any type of illness. A list of all medications and why they are prescribed.

Here is why I’m going over this, if you are not asking all these questions and you hurt someone, guess what ?

Knowing all the answers can not only assist you with training but will help you recognize limits and just how far you can go.

Bipolar there will be a high and these are easy to spot. Arianna is very upbeat more than normal but she wants to buy things, spend money without thinking rationally. Now I don’t always say no to her unless it’s just something she does not need or to costly. Please note, there will be a crash and we can control the landing somewhat.

The home environment , accountability, the correct amount of sleep and last the correct medications and taking on a regular schedule.

I learned a long time ago to never ask what is wrong? Instead I am what are you thinking or what’s on your mind ? If you ask what is wrong ? That puts up a defensive wall and very little chance of getting through.

Any relationship can work it just takes a little work on both sides

Vile

The Different Masters & Dominants

I’ve stated before the lifestyle has changed, I am not sure about how slaves or how the submissive feels, but I am speaking solely about the alpha side.

I believe many see BDSM as just kink, or the hunt and conquer. Talk enough bullshit just long enough to get their dick sucked , get the pussy or just beat you.

Those three objectives are easy, the lying , the manipulation and just bullshit is harder than trying to actually have a relationship. Those are not masters nor dominants. Those are professional manipulators, abusers who are you as vulnerable and weak. They think you are stupid and lazy but most of all beneath them.

The easy going dominant who just goes with the flow, submission on demand, be it domestic or sexual.

The do it now dominant, who has very little structure or rules but just do it and enjoy.

The what I call the military dominant, who takes the time to train, explain his needs and what he expects the outcome to be. I’ll go deeper into this type.

The daddy dom who has very little rules and even less structure. The one who enjoys the company of the bratty sub. This is a special kind of dominant who I believe has more patience than a sloth.

It is easy to manipulate those who are new to the lifestyle. Most of those who are new are the easiest to use and manipulate, and at times it is only for short periods or it can drag on because the submissive feels trapped and does not want to be left alone. These are the player dominants, who are focused on blow jobs and pussy, not to mention the occasional beatings. These types are very controlling, insecure about themselves and their manhood. I call them the master little dick syndrome.

The dominant who has a vision, the dominant who knows what he wants out of life, the dominant who has goals in life. The dominant who wants what he wants but knows it will take some effort, time and work.

When I first started out, I had one thing on my mind, pussy. It wasn’t even about blowjobs, divide and conquer. I did not even care if there was a second meeting, I just know I won.

As I grew older I realized I was missing something out of life but I could not put my finger on it, but it was something.

I was happy and content, I cooked for myself, cleaned and dropped off my laundry. My house was in order and while not spotless it was clean.

I had been single for about 2 years, I had dated several but we just could not come to a agreement.

I rented a room out, not because I needed the money but I wanted the company. I ran a add on Craigslist looking for open minded female, why open minded? That was because if I did play with someone. I didn’t want her to freak out.

I met Kelly, during the interview, I could tell she had a lot of health issues, unemployed and basically homeless. So I said the only requirement you have it to be my company every night for dinner. As far as rent, it can wait until you get on your feet. I’ll do all the cooking and if I go out to eat, I’ll take you. There was no sex involved at all, just company.

Little did I know I would spend the next several months getting her Medicaid and into drug rehabilitation, out patient.

I was introduced to Arianna while Kelly was living with me and this is where the open minded came in because Arianna was not allowed to wear clothes while home.

I completed all the paperwork for Kelly to start drawing SSI and social security. Social Security wanted her to pay me like 5K for back rent but I did not take a dime. Arianna was worried about me taking in others at some point but I assured her I would not.

I’m off track here as usual.

I did not mention the Daddy dom in a previous blog and someone got butt hurt. I myself could never be a daddy dom, I do not believe those relationships are very structured and very little to no rules or protocols. I myself don’t particularly like being called daddy, not that there is anything wrong with it just not my thing. I’ve seen Daddy doms out with brat baby girls, the acting up and throwing fits not my thing. My hat does go off for all the patience those guys have.

The do it now doms with no rules, no nothing just do it.

The dom who is somewhat organized but tends to get lax and not enforcing any rules. Although there is more control than the just do it now dom.

I will say there are master/slave relationships where the master is a just do it now master. I’m not saying that is bad, because if it works it works. As long as both are happy that is all that matters.

You have the controlling dom, who barks orders and wants to know why it took you 15 minutes at the store when it only takes 12 minutes. The dude who wants all your passwords and you give in. The dom who has a temper. The dom who cuts you off from the outside world. This is called a insecure idiot dom, he’s always accusing you of cheating and depending on the guy it can get physical. This is the clueless dude and he cuts you off from others because he does not want you to find out he’s actually stupid. However these could be another side, the relationship could be totally consensual. Go figure.

Then the elusive married dom, who is constantly on the prowl for a new victim. His relationships are short lived because his cover gets blown or the submissive gets tired of being second. The married dom strays because he needs to find someone who will do things his wife won’t do. The wife may not suck dick or take it up the ass. He’s not going to divorce because he has to much to lose. However there is a small percentage of subs who do not care if he’s married and perfectly fine being on the back burner.

The fact is you the master determines the outcome of your relationship. The type of slave you have, will determine the amount of time you are willing to invest in training . If you are just a bark orders and expect it to be done, that is all you will have .

You want the slave to want to serve you, you want the slave to have the need to serve you. You want the slave to respect you, you cannot demand respect, it is earned.

You as the master must keep your word, even when it comes to rules, remember rules are for the betterment of the slave. Rules are meant to be productive when it comes to the slaves everyday life.

When Arianna and I were negotiating our relationship, I explained everything in such detail there were no questions. You cannot truly negotiate the terms if the slave does not understand them.

We do not have the right to criticize someone because of the dynamic. If their way works then it is the right way.

Contracts are good, Arianna and I have a verbal contract. Written contracts are good but will not hold up in a court of law. I suppose a written contract can be a reminder to physically see.

There are many different types of masters , there are many different books when it comes to masters. You just have to find the book you the slave feels comfortable with.

Ownership

It seems the lifestyle is moving more towards kink. It seems the lifestyle is more about sex than anything else. I suppose it may be easier to get laid and move on to the next. I can see if one is not looking for a relationship it could be a good thing. The upside is there is no responsibility or care.

Someone left a message stating there was no way in maintaining a relationship such as ours without being mentally ill. There was no way we could have a productive life and make anything of ourselves.

That statement is 100% incorrect as there are millions who live a D’s or M’s relationship. I can say I’ve not met a couple who lives as we do. I’m not saying they are not out there, I’ve just never met.

Speaking of being successful, I have 14 months and I can retire, yes at the age of 62 and be comfortable. However I am about to throw a wrench into it and maybe not retire.

It has been a life long dream to own a Bar, why? I’ve always wanted that cheers Tv show feeling, kinda like one big happy family. Good service, good food and awesome music and I’ve found just the bar.

There is a catch though, Arianna wants no part of it and I completely understand. She left her place of employment after 23 years so she could start the second part of her life as far as careers. I will also admit Arianna also thought that I would never be approved for financing on my own hahahaha.

I had two options and the first fell through because, get this. The older couple in their late 70’s for some reason never filed taxes. Why? Who does that when owning a business?

The land the bar sits on is worth more than the asking price. So I would be buying land that just happens to have a bar sitting on it with a liquor license.

The look on Ariannas face when i produced a email saying approved. The look of shock was priceless as she just stared at me. Not only was I approved for the asking price but a years worth of capital. Total shock.

Much the same when 6 years ago I approached Arianna about buying a home, she said Master we cannot afford and we do not have 20% down. At that time we were paying nearly 3.000 a month with utilities.

You should never tell me I cannot do something, never. So I found a house and at first Arianna did not like until we looked at it. Then again, Master we cannot afford and the 20% down.

I went to work and one day I told Arianna we had a phone conference with a broker. Again the look on her face was priceless. The broker, well the house appraised 7.500 hundred more than the asking price so there will be no down payment because it was being financed through USDA and no closing cost because we figured in the 7500 into the loan. Again that fucking look. Oh but there is more because I love those looks, homeowners insurance, 1% deductible hahaha, again that look. We walked out of closing with the previous owner handing over 2500.

How much out of pocket if I purchase the bar? How about 2500.

You can do anything you want, you can achieve anything in life you want, all you need is the want and the drive . Although Arianna and I are successful, we are far from being rich. We enjoy life and do pretty much anything we want to.

Arianna has the degree and I have a degree in street smarts. I dropped out of school in the 6th grade to help support my family and so I could by clothes. At 15 I worked full time in a cotton mill making 2.85 a hour, the minimum wage at that time was 2.35. 40 hours made me 114.00 a week 10 hours over time gave me a extra 42.00, around 156.00 a week which in the late 70’s was pretty good money. I joined the US Army at 17 and made a lot less with grossing 189.00 a month.

I apologize I tend to get off topic so just bare with me.

Again you can do anything you want to in life, there is nothing or anyone holding anyone back. The one thing I tell people is your credit means everything and I mean everything. Getting approval for 500K for a bar was mostly based on my credit and credit card usage. Your car insurance as much as it’s wrong is based on your credit, your down payment on a new car and your interest rate is based on your credit. Your deposit for utilities is based on your credit.

I remember being able to walk into a bank and borrow without a credit pull, yea that was a long, long time ago. Walk in the bank and wave at the VP and say Frank I need 7.000, I’m going over to bobs and eat some breakfast, I’ll be back in about a hour . Yea 20 years old and the loan was giving based on my reliability and my word.

Ariannas step brother is going through trade school to be a welder. I’m thinking 25.000 for trade school while it’s not bad there are avenues he could take and it would be free. There is a large theme park here who will pay a 100% of school and start out at 21.00 a hour and top out at 35.00 or so.

Again your credit is everything, and if you are in a slump you can fix it without having to pay anyone to fix it for you, it just takes a little work.

Which brings me back to Ownership.

It’s not about credit it’s about credibility, honesty and keeping your word. It’s about treating your submissive or slave with the upmost respect and dignity.

Once they move in, let them make any changes to the house they want to. This is to not only build confidence within the relationship but it gives them a peace of mind knowing they belong.

We as Dominants have to give back double. We should be available 24/7 365, not only to support but to communicate. Anything less will turn into a failure.

I’ve heard from other subs and slaves mostly in LD relationships they would text and it could be days before they hear back. That is unacceptable, it takes 5 seconds to respond back. This tells you the submissive, you are not a priority. You are not his number one.

I have a friend who brought the lifestyle up to his wife and she agreed to give it a try. However he is fixated on just punishing. This is from a lack of experience. Now he wants to add a second submissive and he does not have his home under control.

The Master trains to fit his needs and wants, while we provide the needs to the slave, if all the needs are provided, there will be no wants and if there is, wants are earned not given

I’ve mentioned the Movie The Stepford Wives before, even as a teen I was blown away at the thought of being able to change someone into something you want. I started young in the lifestyle without even knowing

Arianna and I live a micromanaged relationship, that was her only need when we were negotiating our contract. By doing just that, I get anything in return I want . Our sex life is based on free to use, meaning anytime and place while she’s doing anything. Could be cooking, cleaning , on the phone or even sleeping. There are exceptions, such as she’s not feeling well , I know when she’s out of it from working or maybe the flu or something, I do take that into consideration.

It’s important that the submissive understands the negotiation process. It’s also important to let them speak when negotiating. It’s also ok for them to say no to something you need. When the word no comes up you the Dominant have to decide if you can let it be a no or just explain she’s not the one for you. If you agree to go along with the no, that is the end of the conversation. You agreed to mark a need off of your list and you have to stick with it.

Something that I found funny, I was called a Misogamist by someone in the lifestyle. At first I was taken back by the word but this came from someone who can’t even maintain a relationship. I treat Arianna with the upmost respect as I do other females, not just in the lifestyle. It is not men who build the home, it is the female. It is the submissive who keeps the home in check. I pickup behind myself, I do most of the cooking and dishes. I have never called Arianna names out of anger.

It was not until late 2020 we had our first real argument. We were both working full time jobs and had a karaoke business on the side. We had Covid really bad and both of us were out of work for about 13 weeks. The hours took its toll on us so it began. I was also taking a medication called Gabapentin that made me angry, which I no longer take. 8 years went by before our first argument, 8 years. You should never raise your voice or call names out of anger and then expect them to lay on their back.

Those who criticize the way we live, only do so because they wish they could be like us.

Vile

Our 10th anniversary

Wow! 10 years really flies by when you are having fun.

Ok 2020 was a bad year but we survived , it took a lot of work for both but we are back.

Every year I do something special and my biggest issue is I try to out do the previous year.

Gaylord Palms in Orlando, they treated us like royalty. It was not to busy so they gave us a small section of the restaurant.

The Hardrock in Daytona Beach, when we opened the door rosé petals were all over the room, a cake and a bottle of wine.

However this year was somewhat of a disappointment. I made reservations at a restaurant called Blackrock and from looking at it , it should of been a awesome experience.

We ordered our appetizer then our main course, for the steaks they bring out a 700 degree Lava rock that you yourself cooks the steak to your liking.

We arrived 10 minutes early and was told there was no available seating with waitstaff. There was no mention of our anniversary, Arianna just looked at me and I said well fuck me. We were then escorted to the bar where they had a small booth and a very badly torn seat and the bartender waited on us. The food was ok nothing special. I truly felt bad, not for me but Arianna.

We both gave each other new rings for our 10th. We did not exchange at the restaurant but waited until we arrived home.

I belong to a couple of KIK groups, about 6 months ago a friend invited me, fuck I had not been in a chatroom since 1992 on collarme.

It seems as though the lifestyle has turned more kink oriented today. I’m not sure why, I am going to guess it is easier or something.

I am looking forward to the next 10

Vile

The Training part 3 or something

You have met the one, you have found the slave who you think will fit your needs. Compatibility means everything, it just cannot be about sex or BDSM. You have to become friends before anything, you have to know each other outside of the way you live.

Training is not about barking orders or getting your dick sucked. Training is not about overloading the slave with rules that you cannot even remember. Training is not about isolation from family and friends. Training is not about humiliation or degrading.

Training is about changing one’s habits , changing one’s way of thinking. Training is implementing rules and protocols of your house.

I will admit during training I did use a bit of humiliation, however this was meant to put the slave on a different level and mindset.

As a master you might of experienced several relationships not working out and ending. One thing I hear often is, she was not submissive enough or she would not listen. Always putting the blame on the submissive. If this is the case then it is probable the next relationship will fail. Until you can recognize the pattern of the failures, the new relationship will most likely crash and burn.

You have to have a plan, you have to know who you are training. You both have to know each other’s goals and what you both want out of the relationship.

While I do not share what would be taking place or my training process, I used the information I gathered over a period of several weeks, so I could determine the path I was going to take. I’ve spent several weeks not days getting to know the slave, I mean really getting to know her.

Prior to Arianna I knew why my last relationship failed so I was determined not to make the same mistake. I was determined to make this one work out and not make the same mistakes.

Life is based on two things and two things only, choices and consequences, nothing more.

Guilt can play a huge role in a relationship, many want to be a dominant or master but guilt takes its toll. Many have a high first starting out but then the guilt hits them. The thoughts of mistreating or abuse, however if the relationship is consensual on both partners then there is no reason to feel guilty. That is a heavy stone to turn. The bad can be the slave sees you have changed and you are not who you said you were.

Those who are controlling or have a low self esteem tend to cut the slaves world off, this being from family and friends. He demands passwords to your social media accounts and often your checking account. Those are big red flags.

While depression runs through the lifestyle, a dominant or master who suffers from depression cannot maintain a healthy relationship, for the most. I do not believe it would be healthy for either.

This is from my own experience, it takes about 90 days for both to adjust to the new environment and relationship. It will take at least 90 days for the slave to start to adapt to not only the environment but to rules and protocols.

It seems the main word most masters use the most is punishment. Always looking for a reason to punish. I myself do not have that much time, nor do I just want to sit around and wait on a rule to be broken. My time is worth more than that, there are mistakes that are going to be made, We have to be able to determine if a mistake was made or just a fuck you. I am not one to put up with a lot of bull shit, you either want to be or not be.

When you ask someone about their training technique, most of the time there is no real answer. A master told me once he was training a new slave and I asked what it consisted of, he said the usual. What the fuck does that mean?

When the relationship fails it’s the slaves fault, she was not a real slave or not submissive enough.

We create what we need in our life. We take someone and transform them into something that fulfills our needs, realistic needs. All of this is possible with the proper guidance and understanding that it takes time.

When we first met Arianna had me on a pedestal, something I did not ask for nor did I understand why. 4 years past and we are out and she sees the first time I showed my anger. It was not towards her it was someone else. She saw that I was in fact human.

I have a very small circle of friends, I can count on one hand and I like it that way. I for the most dislike people, does not matter who you are or where you come from. I’ve worked from home the last 12 years and I love it. Last year I was offered a job with the government and I turned it down just because of having to be around people.

The slave always comes first, even before friends and family. The slave has to feel not only wanted but secure.

How do you as a master see your house? What type of slave and what I mean is, looks, personality, build, hair color and so on. How about the slaves demeanor? All of these must be thought out before agreeing to enter a relationship.

My definition of a slave is as follows. Humble, loyal, dedicated to service be it domestic or sexual.

What type of slave are you looking for ? Looks , build, personality, education? All of these thing you have to take into account. Do your kinks align with the potential slaves kinks? How about your personal beliefs or even political?

You must commit for at least 90 days straight . Have a plan in place. Have a complete training plan in place and stick to it.

Sitting, eating , walking, the way the slave speaks and responds to you. You are implementing new habits and that takes time.

Only start out with a few rules, and the rules should benefit the slave. Yea no panties rule does not count, that is stupid to even bring that up as a rule.

Mistakes are going to be made, a mistake does not mean punish, ignoring you does.

Service does not mean the slave is replacing your mother. The first time Arianna came to my house, it was spotless. I cook and still do most of the cooking today. I kept a clean house as well as laundry, how ever I did drop mine off.

Before you start, the relationship should of already been negotiated and both have come to a agreement. You cannot change the rule to suit you midway through training, that is not fair and can be confusing.

Now to the fun part, you are going to use your slave on a daily basis. Use as often and how you like. What you are doing is setting the pace of the relationship and the expectations of what is to come.

The slave will need down time, friends and family is very important. This also gives the slave a opportunity to recharge. Isolation should never be part of a master / slave relationship

You can create the perfect slave

The Patriarchy

While this belief is disliked by many, there are many homes that still follow. There are vanilla homes, Domestic Discipline homes, dom and sub, master and slave.

When vanilla couples first meet, all they both talk about is how they are both looking for a 50/60 relationship. There is no relationship that is 50/50 because someone has to make a decision. Someone has to make the phone calls, someone has to call when a question about a bill. In today’s world the woman of the house is handed that task, the woman takes care of the bills, shopping and cooking. There is nothing about that, being 50/50.

Arianna takes care of most everything because I do not want to do it. If something comes up and she’s having trouble she hands it off to me. So I do all of the negotiating, insurance, car payments, mortgage anything that has to do with talking money.

There has to be a patriarch, someone is leading the family. Someone is making all of the decisions.

A master/slave relationship, I offer a stable home. I offer communication, I offer security, I offer a drama free home and she knows she comes first, at all times even with family.

I’m not one to hang out with the boys, for the past 11 years, Arianna and I have had the same days together. However recently she changed careers and our days off differ. The first thing I thought was here we go buddy, but then I realized I hate going out alone. I know it’s sad but true, I do visit the range alone because Arianna does not care for firearms. Back in the day I would wake in the early am and drive around to used car lots. I am talking like 2.30am because I was alone and it’s something I enjoyed. Today things have changed and it’s no longer safe but that is a different story.

Starting out a relationship as master and slave sets the foundation. The two have worked together during negotiations so both could come to an agreement. Once the master has laid the foundation, the building begins. We must keep our word on everything we covered. We cannot start making drastic changes once the slave has agreed to enter a relationship. The hard part is maintaining the relationship with the groundwork you implemented on a daily basis.

Much love to everyone

Vile

Free To Use Slave

Yes it means just as it sounds when it comes to sec.

During our negotiations those words were used towards the end of the negotiations. The main reason was to see how other things played out. As it turned out Arianna is a very unique female and more so slave.

I know there are days Arianna does not feel good and I do take that into account, she also works outside of the home. So it’s not like I’m a total ass, well so to speak.

Sex on demand, kinda like a TV remote, what more could someone ask for?

Oral sex , there is no better feeling in the world and the truth is I get more head than Bill Clinton could ever imagine.

Access is very important. So Arianna is allowed no clothing while home, with the exception of that time of the month.

She can be watching TV, cooking or sleeping, she is here for my use. I love fucking at night, and often while she’s sleeping, I’ll crawl on top and busy one out and roll off.

Very important about the above, everything I am speaking of is 100% consensual. The free to use was worked out prior to entering the relationship.

Free to use does not mean just sex, there are times I want to have a drink and I’ll turn on some music and Boom, I am at a titty bar. Why pay to go out when I already have entertainment right at home?

Deciding which hole to use? That really depends on my mood. The one thing that really convinced me was her oral skills. However there are two more holes and I take the one I feel like at that time.

Knowing who you are and what your needs are very important. Being upfront with your potential slave is also important. The free to use was important to me, not because the relationship is just based on sex, but was available to me on my terms.

A few months back a Dom asked me what I did to get my slave off? I thought about it for a few minutes and replied, I’ve never giving it much thought, the sex is about me. If my slave has the need to get off, there are vibrators.

I’ve not really spoke with anyone on this topic.