Introducing BDSM To The Home

This can be very difficult but if the communication is right and both parties are open minded enough it could work. There are more than a few ways the idea could come into play, some are good while some are not so good.

The male will take one of three stances, yes , no , or maybe. This is it being brought up to him. Much of the time a male needs time to roll ideas through his mind. The main thought is what do I get out of this if I have to put any effort into it. I have to get something or its just not worth my time.

The female however will take two stances on the subject it will either be yes or no, there is no maybe. Just as I brought up the idea and the need I had to my ex-wife, but I got the your fucking perverted . It took you seven years to come to that conclusion congratulations you stupid bitch. So yes it does pay to be honest at all times even if you do not get the out come you had hoped for..

Most men who say NO or let me think about it truly have this guilty feeling, because no matter how you explain it, it is still drilled in their mind that it is abuse. Somehow being tied up , spanked, told what to do, or face fucking is abuse.

How ever those who stray have no problem bending some bitch over and dry fucking her ass until she passes out. Why ? I suppose there is no real connection between the two, there is no love between the two. The male does not feel ashamed doing what he is doing because it is now expected. With his wife he was exploring uncharted territory or he knows she is against any type of kink

If your a woman who is married and you have been asked to suck cock, or do anal and you refuse he will find someone who will do those things for him. He may not leave you and the chances of him leaving is very slim. The main reason is he has already built his kingdom, he feels secure, he feels safe, and he knows you are not going anyplace. He will how ever step out on you, and find someone who will fulfill his needs.

While you can get pissed off, while you can scream and yell because how dare he let some other women suck his cock.  Think about how you refused to. The worst thing you can tell a male is NO, because when say say that one word it now becomes a need, and vengeance will be his.

I believe sex falls under wifely duties, short of being abuse you are meant to please, now that does not mean you do not get anything in return because any relationship was meant to be a two way street. You as the wife are suppose to lay on your back, get on your knees, or on your hands and knees bent over spreading your ass. Everyone is not going to think the way I do and that is fine, I am expressing my own opinion. The husband has duties as well, and I have covered much of that in my 800 and something post. I have covered the abusive male, so do not think for one minute I am about abuse because I am not.

The key to a successful relationship is finding someone you are compatible with, you like the same music, food, going out, walking the beach at night, and then yes this also includes sex.

While I was searching for a partner I dated probably a 100 who thought they were slaves, and I refused to settle for less, if you told me you did not suck cock, the conversation was over, if you told me you did not do anal the conversation was over, which means I just blew 30 bucks for dinner, and I was going to go home and jack off. If you settle for less you will never be happy, you are only happy for that moment and time.

The man brings up BDSM to the wife and she may go along with it just to please, but most of the time the male gets a little rough because why? We are visual he has googled BDSM clicked on images and what do you see? Some bitch getting her ass beat. So he truly has no clue, or he has read some stories on erotica.com. The woman if she is in love enough or she thinks it will improve their already soggy relationship she will go along with it for a while, only to find out things are still soggy.

Now the female brings it up, now we are in a whole different ball game, the rules have changed, because what she is thinking is nothing the way the male see’s how things might turn out.

The woman has thought things out for the most. The woman can see herself living as a slave 24/7. She can see in her mind how it would be her living as a slave. The truth is she thinks about it for a long time before bringing the subject up, for a couple of reasons. One she is ashamed of her now kinky thoughts, second she is afraid of rejection, or third she is afraid you the husband will leave because she is not the woman you married..

Now while you the husband knows nothing of this, while your at work and she is at home having full blown fantasies, your working and she is at home pounding her pussy with something , and she is probably masturbating 3 or 4 times a day. Even while your fucking her she is thinking about kinky things and you do not have a clue.

To the male most of the time it is about kink, giving out orders, bondage, subjecting your wife to pain she does not want.

To the female it is much different, the submission is a need, to be a total slave is a need, because she has already thought it out. The fact is once she has already put all of her thoughts into motion you the male only has a small role to play in your new relationship, and it really takes very little of your time. She the slave is going to do most of the work all you have to do is keep things consistent.

Really the only thing you the husband has to do is except her for who and what she is. Let her ask for permission, write down a few chores. Come up with a few realistic rules, rules that you know will not be broken. The last thing a slave wants to do is break any rules, if they do it is truly a mistake.

She the wife is looking to be excepted, she wants to be able to be who is is and needs to be. When it comes to women this is not something that just happened on the contrary this has been brewing for a very long time. There was something at a young age that had a mental impact on her, something happened that more than likely she has not even shared with you. She could of been raped, maybe molested by a family member, or even abused at home, but something happened when she was younger to trigger her thoughts. I am not saying that is accurate 100% of the time but I will say 95% maybe a little higher. Most suffer from some type of depression, some are bi-polar, some suffer from anxiety , and most are on some type of medication.

That is what these men who prey on women do not realize or if they do they do not care. These women are looking for help, they are looking for someone to except them, they are looking for security. They expect the kink, why ? Because we are visual animals and nothing more, now some do enjoy the kink, some need the kink. These men prey on those who are submissive because they see it as a weakness, they see an easy fuck, or when they are talking to you the only thing on their mind is you sucking their cock.

I preach over and over when your first meeting a new Dom keep your legs close and your mouth shut, find out if he is really interested in you, or if he just wants the pussy.

Let your wife be who she needs to be, the only thing that will happen for you the male is your life will get a whole lot better. You as the husband will want for nothing, your every need will be answered without question. There will be total submission, and this submission will only benefit you, and remember your role is very small, it is not going to add to your day.

Think about it, you have what most men only ready about, you have what most men talk about when out with the boys.

You have someone you can dress how you want, eat what you tell them to eat, they feel good because you have giving them task. You get your cock sucked when and how you want, she will lay on her back at the snap of a finger, and will proudly lube your cock for her ass. She will be loyal to you and only you, you are not replaceable the main reason is she has gone through to much to get your relationship where it is at today. If she strayed she would have to start all over.

The collar this is a biggie. The collar is a sign of ownership. She now has a purpose, she now belongs, she is now who she truly needs to be not wants to be who she needs to be.

That is what we do as husbands we meet ours needs. Your wife, your slave we still need to provide their needs, we have an obligation to meet their needs, we have an obligation to make them feel wanted, and we have an obligation to reward when the time is right.

The wife or slave has done everything to insure the home is ran smoothly, she takes care of you without question. To make her feel complete is something we should have a need to do. The collar will bring out someone very special, and your relationship will blossom it grow 100 times over and end the end it will only benefit you.

Long ago I only use to see married slaves or more so those who were submissive. These were women who were not able to express their needs to their husbands, or their husbands thought they were sick.

I had hours and hours of sessions, which mainly included bondage some lite spanking never any bruises, and a lot of humiliation. I how ever never fucked anyone of them, there was never any penetration vaginal or anal. I did leave cock sucking out. I did get my cock sucked. If I was going to spend a couple of hours of my time pleasing you because hubby would not, you were going to suck my cock. I did that for a year or so, because I was not looking for any type of commitment. She got a motel most of the time, she paid for it, took us out to dinner, and I got to play with her, and I got to watch my cock slide down her throat.

I suppose it goes the same way, if the submissive or slave is not getting what they need they will seek out those who will give. This is not every case though. Many just sit at home and suffer with their thoughts to afraid to bring the topic up.

Let your wife be who she needs to be, it will cost you very little time. Let her be the slave she needs to be, let her be humble and thankful laying at your feet. While she reaches up and touches her collar, knowing that she is loved, cared for and owned.

Vile

Arianna’s Collar

Last June 15th Arianna and I were Married. Along with our Marriage ceremony , we included a collaring ceremony. Our wedding was performed by a Slave a very good friend of ours. When I first approached her Master about the possibility of her doing it, he agreed to ask her if she would like to do a wedding. Please note I went to him first, a thing called protocol. It did not matter that we were friends, and we talked while at events such as our local munch, or MasT meetings it was proper that I went through her owner first. Slave S was jumping with joy when she had learned that I wanted her to do both our wedding and collaring together.

Arianna put everything together including our sand ceremony for our wedding. We were married on the beach at sunrise by the old lighthouse and it was truly beautiful.

This is her collar. Since the 15th of June it has been off one time and one time only. Her neck was hurting so I took the collar off so I could put some rub on her neck.

She wears daily even to work, and yes she does work with the public, and around friends, but since day one no one has really said anything about it.

Yes this is Arianna with collar on. I purchased the collar from. http://www.houseofcollars.com/

By Dom Wolf who does the most awesome work. He will actually talk to you on the phone, and answer any questions you might have.

So why am I bringing this up again? Our wedding and collaring ceremony?

I am now going to take one more step, well many more steps . I am going to have a Diamond added to the front. So I have been looking for a jeweler who can take on such a task.

The Collar has such a meaning, and honor  to have a submissive or slave want to wear your collar.

I saw someone call it a dog collar the other day on a facebook  and I just shook my head.

Do you as a Dominant want to give your submissive or slave a 15.00 collar, is that how much they mean to you, or if you were getting married would you spend 20 dollars on her wedding set?

Vile

 

I Have Changed Over The Years

It was I am guessing my second week seeing cherrie . I arrived at her house around 8.45am, her kids left for school at 8.30. I walked in the door and all the toys were laid out on the coffee table. The one thing I noticed was the bull whip curled up on the coffee table along with the small Dixie cups.

So Three floggers the heaviest was about 12lbs, different size dildo’s the largest was about 12 in and about 4in around, a double dildo, a few dozen clamps, blindfold, and several ball gags, a large needle and canvas thread, and catheter.

My first real slave who was a total freak and masochist, I had no idea at the time what a sadist even was, nor had I ever heard someone actually needed pain on a daily basis to survive.

Humiliation was something new to me, I had always viewed humiliation as a type of abuse, I never looked at it as a form of release. Although today I still do not fully understand I see a pattern, and the pattern only slightly differs from slave to slave.

Sherrie suffered from depression, sherrie was also bi-polar, and manic as well, and she also suffered from paranoid schizophrenia. It was not until some years later I discovered the pattern, but not everyone was into pain like cherrie was, for the most it was about control, structure, security, and most of all stability, and honesty.  The slave knowing there was one person they could depend on, someone who would be there for them without question.

So I am looking at the Dixie cups and the bull whip. I looked at cherrie confused and she said target practice . Her bedroom was huge as she lay in the middle of her king size bed on her stomach she told me to place the cups upside down on her back six of them spread apart. She then told me to pick up the bull whip and stand by the door. She then instructed me to try and knock one off at a time using the whip, a single tail bull whip, about 12 ft long.

Crack I missed crack I missed again but I was striking flesh on her back, again and again and again missing the cups but hitting her back. As I moved closer to look I saw a huge wet spot under her, where she had came. Every strike she would cum. At about 40 tries my arms was starting to get tired and I maybe hit 3 cups total, I mean a direct hit. After we were done she handed me a bottle of rubbing alcohol and had me pour it on her back and rub it in with paper towels.

Almost seven year two or three times a week, we would session, but after the first year it became more of a task, because I had to out do each time, the humiliation had to be greater than the last time. Then it got to the point to where I was just taking out my bad days on her, and she would take it. It is funny I never saw the bitch cry one time, until the day I told her I was done.

She had failed to tell me she was married and her husband was in prison , but it did not bother me because I did not have those kind of deep feelings for her. As a matter of fact I never fucked her. The only thing I ever penetrated was her mouth.

After cherrie I moved from slave to slave, because I had not figured out that every slave was not a masochist. I had dated a few submissive’s but after hearing the word NO, I knew that was not the type of relationship I needed, but I was failing at every turn, even with slaves.

Even at BDSM events the subs and slaves would stay clear of me. So while talking to a Master one night and I was telling him about my problem it was then he told me. They are scared of you. When they look at you they see evil. I just shrugged it off, I actually thought it was kinda cool.

So One night I was invited to give a bull whip demo. It was a swingers party which I really had no interest in, and after the demo on a sheet of plywood I walked up stairs to go to the bathroom and I walked past this room, the door was shut and a line of guys were standing outside just waiting. So I walked up and opened the door and this girl was being gang banged, her dom told me to wait in line but I could clearly see she was in noway having fun. So I closed the door went to the bathroom walked back down the hall and started down stairs and something just hit me.

I turned around walked up and opened the door I walked in and I told the guy who was fucking her to get off. Her Dom walked up and grabbed my shoulder and I looked at him and said if you don’t let go I will rip your fucking head off and shove it up your ass and you can lick your own balls. I told her to get up and get dressed. In the mean time he is just yelling, cursing , calling me every name in the book. I told her I was driving the orange cougar go get in the car and I would be there in a few minutes.

Trinity was her name I took her straight home fucking Tampa a 150 miles away who would of fucking knew. Not very much was said , I pulled up in her yard and she said thank you. I said don’t be a cunt again. CUNT she said ? Yes CUNT Cant understand Normal Thinking.

When at Munchs I was treated different, subs and slaves would walk up and talk to me. It still had not clocked as to what had happened. Driving home I was thinking and I could actually feel I was going through some changes, my thinking process was different, and I knew I needed more but I was not sure what the more was.

A couple of years earlier I had met a Dom named Animel, this dude scared me, he looked like a pissed off Santa Clause, but the old man was full of wisdom and knowledge. So if I was going to hang out with anyone it was going to be him.

A mentor someone I could learn the deeper side of BDSM. I was not really a sadist but that is all I knew. All I knew was pain and humiliation nothing more.

Then on the day Arianna and I got married I was speaking with Master R I said something then he made the statement that the two of us were feared, then made the statement we were like a team, um no we are not a team.

As time passed I was more into the control aspect, but what I was learning along the way was I had to be in control of my life, I had to be in control of my surroundings , most of all in control of myself, only then could I control someone else.

It would truly surprise you to see how easy it is to control someone else, if you are in full control of your life, and your surroundings , I can promise you that if you are everything will just fall into place.

I have seen it many times where a Dominant would bring someone into his life and his own world is turned upside down. The submissive is now part of his mess, part of his drama, and his problems. This is not fair because the submissive can no longer concentrate on the relationship, then you add everything else on top of everything, and you wonder why one cannot follow rules, and protocols.  We are suppose to be providing structure, and security, and if your life is in rambles how can we provide anything ? How are we suppose to teach and train ? When things do not go as planned you the Dominant has no right to get upset, after you have piled all of your garbage on top of your submissive.

So I started to change somewhere down the line I developed feelings, it started bothering me when I hurt peoples feelings, not everyone just some, because you still have to have that fuck you I don’t care some where in your pocket. If you ever get rid of that fuck you card people will try to run over you, and your left to pick up all the pieces yourself.

I will go out of my way to help you, as long as you are trying to help yourself. but if you cross me or I see your no longer pitching in and I tell you to lose my number, I am done, it is like I never even knew you. I was talking to Arianna the other day, and it is like I have this switch. This switch controls my feelings and I have the ability to turn it on and off, without a thought.  Then if your in my circle which is very very small, you have a friend for life and you know you have someone you can always depend on.

So maybe I was never a Sadist at all, maybe that is the only thing I knew, after all that is what I was being taught, so after we split I myself had to go through some reprogramming myself, I had to put much of what I learned in the trash, but I had to retain some of it to move forward. Remember at this time even after seven years I still knew nothing about control, all I knew was pure sadistic pain, humiliation. It was not until after I hooked up with a mentor an older Dominant who gave me a different perspective on the lifestyle , he showed me there was more to a BDSM relationship that just using and abusing. He also explained that the type of relationship I needed, notice I said needed was going to be really hard to find..

I believe if you tell me your a slave then your a slave. A slave has no rights, a slave has no say, or even an opinion unless I ask. Although now that I have grown the last two are still there but I do listen and I do communicate. When I explain something or when I was giving out rules and protocols, I explained them so well that there were no questions.

Something had come up from Arianna’s past that needed attention. I explained I would fix it. Now during the process I did not communicate that much, mainly because I was putting a plan together, a fail safe plan, a plan I knew would work without a chance of not working. It will be fixed everything is already in motion.

That is what we as Doms do that is what we as Daddy’s do, Masters do. We take care of our home, we take care of our property. The Submissive, the Baby Girl or the Slave gives so much, emotionally and physically , and mentally it is our duty to make things as stress free for them as we can. If you have a problem that comes up you step in and fix it right then.

I met a man a couple of years ago who was out of work, him and his family had to leave there home, it had been foreclosed on. He had already exhausted his unemployment and his wife was the only one working. I said why don’t you go to work at Burger King or Mcdonalds ? He said he refused to work for that kind of money, he was not going to lower himself like that. He lowered himself enough to let all his friends see the cops move him out, he lowered himself enough so everyone could see their stuff being sit on the curb. So in the end his priority was his pride and not his family. He cared more about what people thought of him and he cared about his family.

I would of never allowed such a thing. With my ex-wife and this is one reason she is my ex. Every week I would hand over my check, and she just blew it her and her son, not my son hers from a previous relationship. On a monday she came up to me and said the house was going on the auction block on friday , I was like what the fuck are you talking about.

Tuesday I jumped in my fiat drove 150 miles, walked in like I owned the place, and four hours later I walked out with our first payment being due in 60 days. I fixed it, I made everything alright, that is what we do. I refused to take no for an answer

I do not think I was ever truly a sadist, I believe that was a stepping stone into my world. My kingdom, my house, my rules, my slave, my bitch.

At the time I was seeing sherrie though I can see where at times it was a release for me as far as inflicting pain, sometimes I needed that place of darkness, sometimes I needed to see the hurt in her eyes, although she never shed a tear, I could clearly see the pain.

Control, I mean real control is the same in some ways, being in total control to the point someone fully depends on you, that now is my release, that now is my need. As long as I keep my word, and do what I say I am going to do, things will continue to get better.

We just like anyone else in a D’s relationship or even a vanilla relationship we get into a rut at times, because the bondage is not there, the kink is not there due mainly to work, but the control factor is still fully in place, and I keep everything in place by being consistent on a daily basis.

You Doms or Daddy’s or Masters listen up consistency will make or break your relationship. If you put rules in place, you need to insure they are followed. I am not talking about just sitting around and waiting on the girl to break a rule, but if a rule is broken, then you punish, and you explain why you are punishing , and what the two of you are going to do to fix it. If rules are broken and there are no consequences then why relationship do you really have.

If your in the lifestyle just for sex, a cock sucker is easy to find, a piece of ass is easy to find. To take someone and play or toy with their feelings or emotions is wrong, and in the end you will get yours. If you just want to fuck then say so. You do not have to put of a Big Bad Dom show to get some pussy

If I just wanted to get laid, I would go to a club sit down order a coke or tea I never go out and drink. I would look around pick someone out who struck my interest. I watched and observed, then I walked up and started a conversation. During our conversation I made it clear at some point I was not looking for anything long term, just speaking in general conversation. Get in the car take her home and fuck until I wanted no more send her on her way, and as she was walking out I was deleting her phone number

What I am getting at, I did not turn any ones life upside down, I did not make promises, I stated what I was not looking for, and what I was not looking for. Okay maybe I played on her feelings some, maybe I was the shoulder she needed, but I made it clear what my intentions were.

What some of you guys do for some pussy is way to much work, even more so if your married, having to live that double life, sneaking around. It is not worth it.

If your married and you have to cheat move on. Why drag your family through your little fantasies , why drag your wife and children through your mess, it is not her fault you cant run the home, its not her fault you have no control.

If you are married and your in the lifestyle and cheating, it is your responsibility to take care of your submissive, baby girl or slave, that includes any bills, or rent, and food. When you made a promise to take care of her, you took on that responsibility, if you cannot do any of the above, you need to stay home with momma.

If your in control you as a Dominant can have pretty much anything you want out of a relationship. If you stand by your word, the limits that your submissive had, your baby girl, will soon be forgotten , you can have anything you want.

I look back over the years and I think did you really do that stuff,and I think now if I had it all to do over again and I knew then what I know now I would of taking a much different path.

While my life may not be picture perfect to most, it is as close as you will get to living a true M’s relationship. Well maybe in my world it is perfect.

Vile

 

 

🔵 Good morning Sir …….

What a way to get ready for your day.

Ladies Get Ready To Suck Some Cock

Wow I have had the topic of sucking cock come up twice in two days. The first from a submissive I am mentoring , no she did not bring it up directly she shared an article with me, because she thought I would like it. Then I just hit up phoenixasubbie blog and low and behold she is talking about her cock sucking skills.

While it is true there are really not very many women who truly know how to give good head. My ex-wife bless her heart gave it her all, but it was the worst head I had ever had in my life.  She did not like sucking cock and it showed.

I have told men before you know how we all talk when we are together. I have told men before if your girl can suck a good dick, and really loves it, and ends the show with a swallow. You can look over a bunch of shit. They can be to serious about life, they can be nutty, you can have nothing in common but if they can suck a dick, all the bad shit goes right out the window.

Just as phoenixasubbie

was talking about her skills, her wanting to please her man, you can tell she really gets into it, and she knows what she is doing. Really getting into it and knowing what your doing, goes a long way. She is right about vanilla men not being verbal, and it is true most do not even know what they want. In fact the worst blow job to them would probably be one of the best they have gotten.

Look even if you cant cook, and you burn boiling water, even if you cant make toast, or maybe you don’t know how to spread peanut butter on bread with a knife. If you can give good head , none of that shit even matters. Because your mouth on his cock makes him forget everything, nothing else in the world matters because his woman has a mouth full of dick and shes going to town.

I am very verbal while I am getting my cock sucked, her mouth is no longer a mouth it is a cock sucker. I love wet blow jobs the wetter the better, I love it when the mouth comes off of my cock and there is saliva hanging down from her lips. I love those sucking noises, I love watching my cock slide in and out of her mouth. To tell you the truth most of the time I don’t even want to cum. Why do you ask ? Because when I cum its over I am done, and there is no greater feeling in the world.

Men like women to be vocal as well it is not one sided, this is something I have not discussed with Arianna but she will know now. Men love it when a women who is sucking cock is vocal. I love your cock, I love the taste of your cock, yea oh my your cock is so big , that’s a good one there, little ego booster tip.

So yesterday I was on fetlife and the submissive I am mentoring we were emailing back and forth and she sent me this article. It was about the medical benefits of women giving head, and the medical benefits the semen had, and how sucking cock also helped with depression. It also talked about the difference in women who used condoms during sex and those who did not.

So just as phoenixasubbie gave you all some tips, I am giving you tips from a males view. Here is her post on the art of giving head.

http://phoenixasubbie.wordpress.com/2014/01/19/the-art-of-the-blow-job-and-deep-throat/

What I am going to post has already been posted and re-blogged but I am giving my view and my thoughts.

Listen a man Vanilla or a Dom do not wait until your asked, you should offer your services. My five favorite words well I have ten favorite words but here are the first five.  May I suck your cock. The other five are , please finish in my ass. Ten of the greatest words known to mankind , those ten words could stop all anger, all wars, every many in the world would be happy.

Ok as I stated above when the man says something about your cooking skills, your reply should be, well I suck a good cock. He has forgot about the food issue. The house is a mess, again well I suck a good cock, the house is no longer dirty. I am telling you ladies listen up to what I am telling you. Being able to suck dick and suck dick like a pro, will keep you out of a lot of trouble.

Now http://phoenixasubbie.wordpress.com/2014/01/19/the-art-of-the-blow-job-and-deep-throat/ There is her link again read it and take in all the information. She also re-blogged what I am going to blog but it is good information. I am surprised the white house press secretary did not release this information, that is how fucking good it is.

Remember you have to love what your doing, you have to really get into it. The wetter the better, make those sucking noises . Be vocal I love your cock, your so big, you have the biggest cock I have ever been with. Those words will not only turn him on, but his chest will expand 5 or 6 inches.

Blow Jobs Are Good for a Woman’s Health and Help Fight Depression

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Oral sex is good for women’s health and makes you feel happier, according to a study which studied the effects of semen’s ‘mood-altering chemicals’.
The State University of New York study – which scientists carried out via survey rather than through practical experiment – compared the sex lives of 293 females to their mental health.
It follows research which shows that seminal fluid contains chemicals that elevates mood, increases affection, induces sleep and also contains at least three anti-depressants.
The researchers also claim that women who have regular unprotected sex are less depressed and perform better on cognitive tests.
Semen contains another of chemicals along with spermatozoa, including cortisol, which is known to increase affection, estrone, which elevates mood and oxytocin, which also elevates mood.
It also contains thyrotropin-releasing hormone (another antidepressant), melatonin (a sleep-inducing agent), and even serotonin (perhaps the best-known antidepressant neurotransmitter).
Given these ingredients – and this is just a small sample of the mind-altering ‘drugs’ found in human semen – Researchers Gallup and Burch, along with the psychologist Steven Platek, hypothesised that women having unprotected sex should be less depressed than suitable control participants.

More…
Hormone-free ‘male pill’ that halts sperm production is a step closer
Does having sex make women more fertile? Semen found to trigger ovulation
To investigate whether semen has antidepressant effects, the authors rounded up 293 college females from the university’s Albany campus, who agreed to fill out an anonymous questionnaire about various aspects of their sex lives.

Recent sexual activity without condoms was used as an indirect measure of seminal plasma circulating in the woman’s body.
Each participant also completed the Beck Depression Inventory, a commonly used clinical measure of depressive symptoms.
The most significant findings from this study, published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, were that, even after adjusting for frequency of sexual intercourse, women who engaged in sex and ‘never’ used condoms showed significantly fewer depressive symptoms than did those who ‘usually’ or ‘always’ used condoms.
Importantly, these chronically condom-less, sexually active women also evidenced fewer depressive symptoms than did those who abstained from sex altogether.
By contrast, sexually active heterosexual women, including self-described ‘promiscuous’ women, who used condoms were just as depressed as those practicing total abstinence.
The research suggests it is not just that women who are having sex are simply happier, but that happiness levels might be related to the quantity of semen within their body.

• Range of chemicals in semen ‘promote mental well-being and feelings of affection’, say researchers and Vile.
  
• 
• Vile

I Am Really Disappointed

I have been Mentoring a Submissive for about 6 months now, although we live in different countries I try to stay in contact on a daily basis.

She has needed someone to help guide her in the right direction, making sure she takes her Medication daily and just trying to get her life on the right path. The good thing is she is improving almost daily with a few slips here and there but just like training it is a habit, and you have to make good habits.

So the submissive emails me and ask about a local mentor, someone there she could talk to, someone who would help teach her, and she sent me the name of a Dominant who lives local, and she asked me to kinda feel him out.

I contacted him explaining what needed to be done, I also informed him that the task would not be easy. I also explained to him that for now there should be no sex and no talk about sex, until she is fully back on her meds. I also explained she suffered from depression and anxiety so he had to be careful.

So the conversation him and I had was much different than the conversation they had. I even forwarded the email him and I had to the submissive to show her exactly what had been said.

So the time came and he called her and talked for a while. Now to give you a little back ground. This is a Dominant who has been in the lifestyle for over twenty years, and is the leader of a local group called MasT. Masters And Slaves Together. The group is world wide. He is also suppose to be highly respected there in the local community.

She also made it clear in order for them to move forward he had to read my blog. She explained to me that because of me she has set her standards very high when it comes to meeting a new Dom. Wow okay I did not know I had that much of an impact.

So after the phone call I get an email from the submissive, telling me about their conversation. The main topic was about sex. He felt in order to get to know her she had to share all of her sexual fantasies starting at a young age. He needed to know what she liked and did not like when it came to sex.

The I get an email from him. which was totally different. The thing that stuck in my mind was, A Dominant would have to invest a lot of time and would not get anything in return. Now the getting in return thing, are you talking about getting your cock sucked, getting pussy. What is it one may want to get in return.

Now in the six months I have been mentoring this submissive, sex has not come up . I have not brought sex up, she does from time to time, but it is just questions.

I truly enjoy helping those who are submissive, more so those who are a slave. What is it I get out of it. I actually get a lot. I get to watch someone grow, I get to see the self improvement. I get to see the want to move forward. I get to see one getting their life back together. Last I get to see them pack up and move on. All of that is a huge reward. Knowing that I have made a difference in someones life.

This Dom also made it clear to her that as long as I was in the picture no other Dom including himself would have nothing to do with her. This is mainly because he saw the amount of control I had over her, so if I was out of the picture, she would be fair game.

A mentor is someone who is willing to step in and help guide, to help get someone back on track, to help keep someone on the right path.

A Mentor is not a fuck buddy. That is just taking advantage of someone in a time of need. This is my definition of a Mentor.

Mentor- A tutor, a coach, a guide, a trusted counselor.

When a mentor steps in and they are filling the role of a Dominant, often the Dominant who is doing the mentoring will find that the submissive or slave is in a very vulnerable state of mind, and it would really be easy to take advantage of someone. One develops feelings and the other is just getting their rocks off, and in the end the submissive ends up getting hurt.

Here is the email I sent to this Dom.

I am contacting you on name taking out behalf.
I have known her for several months now, and have been trying to help out as much as possible. Offering advice, making sure she stays in line.

I was wondering if you might know of anyone local, who may be able to step in a kinda guide her.
She does have some issues, she suffers from depression, and is on medication for it.
She is just looking for a mentor to help guide her. I am not sure if she is really ready for anything sexual. We have not really spoken about sex.
If you could or know of someone who might be willing to look out for her that would be awesome.
Thank you
Vile

This was his reply

Hi Vile,

an update as discussed:

I had the phone conversation with name the other day for over an hour and did a lot of digging, and some pushing, to see who and what she was. I needed to understand what makes her tick. I have had some general interactions as well and have noted more things.

I think I should let you know a little about me so you can put what I say into perceptive. i have been active in the lifestyle for over 25 years, and was active even before the Internet. Inj that time I have trained guided protected and mentored many subs/slave & Doms as well. I do a lot of instruction around the mental side of dominance and control and am held in high regard in the Sydney scene. I actually am a committee member of the local MAsT chapter  and an the leader and coordinator for a Male Dominants group called the

I say this because I want to give a little credence to what I want to say as sadly it is not really that positive. I delved into her psychological make up, her dreams and desires, her sexual maturity and her basic sexual drivers. I also tested her core submission and pushed her for reaction.

The result of all this:
She is extremely immature when it comes to relationships and only lost her virginity just before she was 30. As a result she will attach herself quickly to those who show her any affection, especially when that affection is matched with dominance and power. As can be seen by her lifestyle relationships. This means that if she just stepped out she would attract the predator type Dom.

Her depression is long term and extremely well established. This will cause major issues in the lifestyle as it will spark major fear and anxiety from simple play. The long term depression means that her thinking and perspective are skewed to that way of thinking and would read situations in a bad way (happy to send links that cover this). There is one proven cure and that is sustained regular exercise. She needs to find the way to actually do that.

Yes she is submissive, my pick quite extreme as well, but there are huge underlying trust issues. I dont know where they came from but my pick is way before she started her time in the lifestyle. This means that she would require a lot of investment from a mentor before she would actually start to blossom. Sadly the payoff versus the investment means that in her current state most Doms I know would not be willing to invest the time to mentor her as they would get nothing back…. just lots of hard work.

On the up side she has very strong fantasies and she lifted markedly when they were just accepted and not judged, so much so she keep expanding on them. I beleive this shows that she has repressed these since she had them in her early teens but could be a way to help motivate her to start taking action, and could be the shortest path to releasing her true submission.

If that is done in a controlled manner then there is a good chance she could make the improvements in her self and her ability to trust which would show possible Doms her true potential.

I am happy to keep talking with her, but not willing to step into full blown mentor and nor would any Doms I know be willing to either. Her trust issues, and the other things I mentioned above , make her a liability not anything of value. She needs to make herself of some value. I suggest she keeps going to muches, she attends workshops, expands her social connections, and start exrcising in earnest. Her current approach, (she sent me an email stating I would have to earn the right to mentor her and that I would have to do so under your guidance – which is not the way any Dom i know mind works) is not going to achieve anything for her. Hence my suggestion.

I have not feed any of this back to name and will only do so under your instruction. I am happy to say something sofetr to her for example I dont have the time if you want. But I dont think that would help her.

Let me know what you think.

Regards

Now I have known her for over six months and we have had some in depth conversations, and although I came to the conclusion that she needed to take her meds daily, and she had to get out and walk daily. I recommended her going to local meetings, I encouraged her to make friends, more submissive and slave friends. I also make it a point to give praise, Praise goes a long way.

So lets get Vile out of the way. If Vile is no longer in the picture, I get what I want. If Vile is not around she will have to listen to me.

I also recommend if a submissive or slave needs a mentor then they should find another Submissive or slave as a mentor. There are very few Dominants who would take on such a task knowing they get no sex out of the deal.

So if I do not get any pussy, or your not going to suck my cock why would I want to spend my time with you?

There are many in the lifestyle who are just mentors, and they never step up to the plate when it comes to a relationship. Being a Mentor gives you the power but no real responsibility. So while your on your knees sucking cock he can tell you what you have done wrong that day.

This is the fucking ball kicker, another Dominant contacted the submissive I am mentoring and told her they had footage of her and everything was sent to me. I am not sure what he is talking about, I have only had brief conversations with him. I am not even sure why someone would want to fuck with someones mind in such a manner.

This happens all to often, this is what I try and warn all of you about. Because being new to the lifestyle you really do not have a clue, and you have to take someones word.

When I read the reply I was truly at a loss of words and even more so when I read her reply because it was something totally different. Now who am I going to believe. Certainly not the Dominant , I do not know him, how ever I do know the submissive.

Vile

Were Invited To A Party

I received a text a couple of weeks ago, inviting Arianna and I to a party. The party will be held where we have our MasT meetings. Masters And Slaves Together.

I thought it was going to just be a get together, dinner, conversation, just chilling which at this time I really need to just chill, my mind is pretty burnt right now, well it is exhausted.

Anyway I was thinking about the St Andrews cross this Dom has set up and I texted him showing interest in it. He responded it was for sale he paid 250.00 dollars for it and I could buy after the party. Then I knew what kind of party it was going to be.

Although the party is invitation only, and I did not know this until Arianna had brought it up because I was going to contact someone else and ask what was going on, but now knowing it is invitation only I have no idea who is and who is not invited.

I do need that get away, I need to be able to communicate with those in the lifestyle, that is kinda like my downtime , I am able to relax and talk to others who are on the same page.

I have been to a couple of fuck parties but I have never been one to take part in, I really do not get anything out of it. I suppose if your into sharing you may get something out of it.

I find going to parties like that is a form of exploiting your slave. Don’t get me wrong I do enjoy showing Arianna off, because she has a body built for sin, but as far as going to a party and getting naked and playing, its really not my thing. Even using some of the Bondage equipment I find it weird using someone elses things knowing who has been on the cross or the spanking bench.

Now some of the things that would not bother me, one being getting my cock sucked while talking to another Dom, I would find that pretty interesting. Two , would be walking Arianna around on a leash. Ive had Arianna flash her pussy in front of another Dominant before, but that was only because I knew how bad he wants to fuck her.

I am interested in the St Andrews Cross the Dom has for sale and 250.00 is a good price it is well built. I found a kit on line for 199.00 with 60 dollars shipping so it comes out to about the same. The only advantage would be is buying a kit and putting it together yourself. Here is the link.

http://www.dungeondelights.com/store/product_info.php?cPath=37&products_id=175

So we may go to the party and hang out for a while, and see how wild it gets, I do know some people I have no desire seeing nude.

Vile

Popular #BDSM #Dungeon Furniture – The St Andrews Cross

The St Andrews Cross an awesome addition to any play room.
I saw a kit online for 199.00 plus shipping

Christina Mandara

The St Andrews Cross

The St Andrews cross comes in many sizes, can be padded with leather or PVC and generally has either restraints or steel brackets for fetters. The slave can be secured to the cross by means of arms, legs, chest and waist straps.

The slave can be secured facing the cross or with their back to the cross, depending on which areas of their body are required for examination and possible attention by whipping etc. It can be used for both long and short term sessions.

The cross can be attached to a wheel enabling the submissive to be turned upside down, which is another punishment all in itself! Providing a very attractive focal point for any dungeon, it’s one of the most popular pieces to be found in the depths of the BDSM dungeon and can be easily purchased and assembled online. If you’re a keen…

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Training Your Slave And Having The Proper Keys

I have talked about Training your Slave in the past, not so much a submissive because a Submissive still has some control about what goes on. A Submissive has the RIGHT to say NO, and that word has to be honored.

Many of you have seen me, I am an average looking guy, nothing special, I don’t have that Tom Cruise thing going on, but I am me. I am me inside out. I am not someone from 8 to 5 then someone different when the clock hits 5.05pm I am me 24/7. I do not care what others think of me, I do not care if others talk about me, I do not mind being the gossip of the day or the week. Why ? Because I am me and no one can change that,

Many of you have seen Arianna she is without a doubt a Total Fucking Knock out. She was built for fucking, she is perhaps the best cock sucker I have ever cum across. She is truly a perfect sign of beauty.  Last she is a True Slave at heart, she has giving me not 25% not 50% or 75% not even 100% but 150%.

To put us side by side you would look and go what the fuck? How did Vile pull that off, I know other Dominants and Masters ask me the same thing. My answer is always the same, I pulled it off because I am just me I am Vile, I have never put up any fronts, I have never pretended to be anyone else.

My Training also includes being Vile being me and no one else. I can tell you if you can pull that off just being yourself and staying yourself you can go places.

I have fucked some of the most beautiful women in the world. I have fucked models, Doctors, Lawyers, women who were married, Ive fucked their sisters and at times I lowered my standards some not much but some. I have fucked some I knew I would never be in a relationship with. I have fucked those and threw them taxi money while pushing them out the door, and they still call me the next day.

Okay Ive made some mistakes, Ive used some, Ive hurt some, but then you grow the fuck up. I can tell you and maybe some of you men can relate it does not matter how many women you fuck, it still gets lonely waking up alone in the am.

Then you have to stop and ask yourself what am I doing wrong ? Pussy is not in shortage. You can go out to a nigh club pick someone up within an hour bring them home bust a nut and send them on their way, you feel good, but we never stop to think about their feelings. We never stop and think what we are doing to them mentally and emotionally. Okay on the other side some women are Hoes as well, some women use men.

I am not off track I am getting to the training part. I am just sharing a little about my past, while I had fun, I had fun being alone. That was one thing I was not able to see until my late 20’s early 30’s.

When someone ask me hey how are ya doing? My answer is always the same. I am Living The Dream, my dream, viles dream. I am living in the present, I am living in the today, not yesterday or tomorrow, but the present. The past is just that it is the past. Nothing I do is going to change that. The future I do not have a clue, all I know is for right now I am living the dream.

I recently took part in a training seminar in sales, and the Motivational speaker is just fucking unreal and it works, it works to a T. The thing is you can do what he says and speaks about, but you have to throw in your own personality, you have to be you, and no one else.

The way I trained Arianna worked for me, the way I trained my last long term was far different, and chong the training was way out the door. I was more cold, more self centered , I was more stand offish , but that is the type of master she needed, but at the same time I was me. The only thing I changed was my training process.

Rules every submissive, Baby Girl or Slave needs rules, they all need to know there are consequences as well. Rules with no consequences are no more than words. You know what words get old, promises get old, lying gets old, cheating gets old, losing your temper gets old, being abusive gets old. Then when it does not work out you can blame it on the Bitch, she was the one who was fucked up, she was a total fake. The fact is that is a lie, because if you had been yourself, chances are it would of worked out.

Now the almighty question. How long does it take to train a slave ? Well how long does it take to make something a habit. Note you are not just making one thing a habit, you are changing someones life around to fit your needs and wants.

The key is but there are a couple of keys to many locks. The main key is being yourself, another key is have self control, another key is not having any anger issues. If you have anger issues you have no business being in the lifestyle , and you should be ashamed demanding someone call you Master or Daddy or even Sir. Those terms are earned. If you have anger issues, and I have met several who could not control their temper, and wondered why their relationships failed, yes that was plural.  Another Key is having no Drama, drama kills you. Your Submissive , baby girl, or slave does not want to be part of a mess you created, and to get them in your fucked up shit is not fair. Another Key being truthful , just tell the truth, even if its going to piss someone off. . Another key is being in control, and not controlling, this falls under anger issues again. The thing is to properly train someone you have to have every key I just mentioned, and there are a few more. The key to respect, the key to understand the word no.  These keys get Heavy but in your relationship you have to use each key and use on a daily basis, if you start leaving keys out, you will slowly start to lose control. Once you have lost control you can rarely regain. Ive been there done that, once its over its over.

When I met Arianna her life was in a total mess, and even after she explained to me what kind of Dominant she needed I still had some hesitation. So I had to spend sometime thinking, was this something I wanted to take on. Did I want to micromanage someone, did I want that much responsibility , did I want that much control over someone’s life. Well I am happy to say going on almost two years well six months short of two years my math is probably different than yours but that’s OK. It is working and working well. Arianna can tell you I use all of the keys on a daily basis. When she gets upset I am there for her, when she gets emotional I am there for her. The key is I am there no matter what, see we just found another key.

My way of training may not fit your way, it may not fit your baby girls way, submissive or slaves way, but if you take bits and pieces and use some of what I am saying and be yourself it can work.

My thought of a Triad was not for me it was for Arianna, fuck I get anything and everything I want, when I want and how I want it, without any resistance. I get waited on hand and foot, sex is when ever I want, I get my cock sucked more than Bill Clinton, I get my ass licked when I want, my feet. I want for nothing. Another key is, I have to give back and more. I give back more than I take. I am there 24/7 no questions asked. If Arianna needs me I drop what ever I am doing. She knows this as well.

Now to you married dudes who have the need to fuck around because your wife wont lick your ass, or the dudes who prey on those who are submissive just so you can use. You do not have any KEYS. All you have is the gift of Gab, and that only last so long, she will leave you and yes you will blame her. Or if you do have any keys it will not unlock any doors, they are useless, until you decide to man up. When you go in the bathroom turn on the water look in the mirror and wash all of the pussy off of your face, your keys will never work.

I read a Doms profile on Fetlife not long ago, he stated he could train any Slave in less than 30 days. That is a complete joke and he is truly living in a fantasy world, or maybe he can make someone think he can, but again he does not have all the keys.

The fact is the training never stops, the training is never complete, training is something that has to be done daily, and that falls under consistency daily consistency, and being who you are.

You are changing someones whole thought process, you are changing their way of thinking, and I will give you a good example.

While meeting with another Dominant he was quizzing me on how I trained and was able to maintain such a relationship. With Arianna sitting right there and as I was explaining she really heard nothing, even when I mentioned the part about mind modification, and I have mentioned it before in front of her, and she hears nothing. That is how I can tell Ive done well, that is how I know my training was and is successful. I can speak of training her in front of someone and she hears nothing, even if she does it goes in one ear and out the other. She cannot see it because she lives it everyday and I continue the training daily.

If your training starts out with learning to suck cock, then your fucked up. Why don’t you suck someones cock and see what you get out of it. See what benefits you get from sucking cock. Then you can explain to the submissive what the benefits are to learning to suck cock.

If you use all of your keys and you are truthful during the process you to can have anything and everything you want. I want for nothing, I ask for nothing, and I truly mean that because everything I need is anticipated . When we are going out all I have to do is tell Arianna to get in the car, if I tell her where we are going fine if I do not that is fine.

Train your own way just make sure you have the proper Keys.

Vile

Arianna And I watched, My Five Wives, Well Almost All Of It

My Five Wives

While skipping through channels the other day I stumbled across this show called, My Five Wives

Brady who is married to five wives in Utah and has 24 children lives in two houses built side by side and a food bill of over 4.000 dollars a month seems to have it down for the most part.

The family were all Mormons at one time but have split off from the traditional Mormon religion and kinda added their own flavor.  While the family follows no real religion they all believe in Buddhism, all the women are pro-gay marriage and they all have a drink from time to time.

Each wife has their own bedroom and Brady takes turns spending the night with each one. One Birthdays each wife gets an extra night.

I have nothing against those who believe in polygamy or who live it, if it works for them then so be it.

If a family can live the Polygamy lifestyle and make it work, and not live off of government assistance then leave them be. We are in a new time where we allow gay couples to marry so why would be draw a line on how many people can live together.

While the family is not religious based they were all Mormons at one time, and they do live in a  Polygamist community , which they have been asked to leave because of the way they believe.

There are a few things that caught my eye in the short time we watched the show. The main thing was the jealousy between all of the wives as Brady took turns spending the night with each one. The second was no structure within the home, third there were no rules that had to be followed. Even though the show is not geared towards any BDSM lifestyle or Domestic Discipline the family did lack the fundamentals of any type of real structure and no protocol. I do believe Brady tries to communicate the best he can, but the main factor that keeps everything from working is the jealousy. There is no real communication with the wives, they all work toward the building of the home, but there is clearly no team work. They do have family outings which is good, yes all thirty of them, wow can you imagine going to McDonalds and having a bill for thirty.

So I wonder if others who live as Polygamist have the same issues , the same problems , if they have the same jealousy issues going on.

None of the wives on the show are Bi Sexual and that should never come into play anyway if you are looking to expand your family. I do not see the need in having partners and seeking out those who are bi as a need and that should never be part of the reason you are wanting to expand your family.

While I have done research on Domestic Discipline family’s I have not run into any who live as Polygamist. I have run into family’s who suffered from abuse and while a couple disagreed with me they mentioned all of the arguing that went on daily, and the fighting that went on daily so I was not able to connect them with living a Domestic Discipline lifestyle which for the most is religious based as well.

In the short time watching the show I was able to pin point where the problems came from. First there was no Alpha female, if there was she was not willing to step up to the plate. I can see where they all were wanting to be treated equal but in a live in situation like that I see no way that would work.

There was zero structure everyone did their own thing, having no structure causes arguing. There were no house rules again having no rules causes arguing.  Last but not least there were no consequences for any actions. Although he did try and communicate with everyone it was clear he was not getting through to them.

I can see where such a lifestyle could work if the male is in full control, and I can also see where it can fail. Those who live the polygamy lifestyle keep it such a secret I do not believe there is any hard statistics that shows if it works more than it fails.

I also believe a man can stretch his self way to thin and not being able to maintain any type of control, and it is clear when one of the wives stood toe to toe and argued with him he clearly had no control.

When Arianna and I were talking about the possibility of adding another, there would of been a plan in place. There would of been house rules to follow, there has to be structure, there has to be protocols , and most of all there has to be an alpha female, and the other has to know the alpha is just that and will always be the alpha. So a third would have to be okay being the third, and know that will never change.

I was reading some of the comments about the TV show My Five Wives, and there was not one good one, well until I commented. These people who were complaining are the same ones you see as customers in the TV show Hardcore Pawn, or guest on the Jerry Springer show, These are the ones talking about how others live their lives.

You have people protesting Gay Marriage if your so against it then don’t marry someone who is gay, BOOM problem solved. If you judge someone for having more than one wife, then just marry one, problem solved.

What is really stupid is you spend and hour watching a TV show about Polygamist then you spend the next day complaining about it. Wow fucking really. Truth be known your the fucking moron for wasting an hour of your life watching something you hate so much.

Let people be who they want and need to be. A friend at work was talking about a family he was working with they were Mexican, he was saying that two family’s lived in a two bedroom apartment, and how crazy they were. Well it is not really crazy, they make it work, who cares how they live.

If your going to live, live the dream, but don’t waste your time talking about how others live, when your own backyard is fucked up….

By the way I can talk, my backyard is clean.

Just how many is to many? How many can you keep under your control.

Vile