Archive for December, 2014

Earning Submission

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Acceptance, Advice, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Collar, slave, Submission with tags , , , , , , , on December 31, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Many believe submission is something you need to demand , some even believe you can force submission , while it is true in very rare cases both can be had through fear.  Fear is not what you need out of a D’s or M’s relationship , because the relationship in the lifestyle runs so much deeper.

Over the years I have met Doms who ran their relationship based on fear. As a matter of fact there was a submissive not long ago who told Arianna she was afraid of her Dom. I am not sure about others but I would think that would be very unpleasant if that is what you had to look forward to when you woke up every morning.

Hear are a few questions you should ask yourself prior to entering a relationship. What makes you think your submissive? What happened to you to make you have these feelings ? Why is being in a D’s or M’s relationship a need ? What type of Dominant do I need? I did not say want , I said need.

Dominants do not come in one size fits all , just as submissive’s or slaves do not. We are all different and we all have different needs.

What type of relationship is going to be adventitious when it comes to your well being. Do you need someone who is strict ? Do you need someone who kinda keeps a check on you ? Maybe your just looking for the kink in the lifestyle and nothing more. Maybe your just submissive in the bedroom but not while your out and about.

All of the above are questions you need to ask yourself before jumping into any relationship.

I am getting to the Topic here in a minute , if you know anything about me I am bad about straying off topic.

Today most meet new Dominants via the world wide web. I suppose it is easy , it takes little effort and you do not even have to leave your house. However I can promise you there are more downfalls than good, but for what ever reason the bad is over looked for what little good there is, and as many of you know these types of relationships are very short lived.

I would also like to add my way of thinking is not the only way.  My way when it comes to the lifestyle is not the only way, my way of thinking is not the only way, and I will be the first to admit I have and can be wrong.

What I am about to say will sound very familiar.

You just meet a Dom online and after you exchange names , he states he may in fact be looking for a submissive, and if things work out he may consider you.

Then comes, what are your limits ? Or maybe have you had a Dom before ? What is the shortest skirt you own ? Are you Bi ? I have not figured out why being bi is so important, and if you say no , then comes the question would your try?

Now these little childish questions are asked before he knows anything about you. Those should be your first series of red flags, and if the conversation continues in the same manner many more red flags will follow..

What I do and most Dominants as well , we like to get to know someone as a person. I myself want to know the likes and the dislikes , what your previous relationships have been like and what happened.

I want to know what makes you think , because in order to know you as a submissive or a slave we have to know what makes you tick. .

What makes you happy , what your fears are , what you do for fun in your spare time.

The above takes time and it takes longer than one meeting. Several sessions face to face. You can get to know someone via the net or the phone , even texting but face to face then you can read someone.

Best friends , earning your trust , you being able to be an open book with no chapters missing. This does not mean you over fill your plate the first week but just bits and pieces. The more you trust the more you open up.

Pictures when I asked for a picture I wanted two , one of the face and one of a close up showing the eyes, the eyes tell everything. That allowed me to study while talking. I am not sure why someone would need nudes if your looking for a long term relationship. I find it to be degrading to ask for nude photos because most of the time one is coursed into sending them. They are really sent just to shut the Dom up.

So the two meet and they hit it off everything is flowing in the right direction and you can feel the compatibility between the two. This is when you start to build and it can be awesome……

The more you communicate , the more you trust, the more you open up. which means the more you want to give.

Now the key is for the Dominant to be who and what he says he is. The key is for the Dominant to have and allow an open line of communication.  The key is for the Dominant to set goals in place and insure they are met. The key is for the Dominant to respect your limits and not push you to a breaking point.  The key is to allow you to grow and be who and what you are.

Although submission is earned in a sense , it is up to the Dominant  to set the steps into place so it is earned, once this is done it puts both of you in a much better place, and it will allow both of you to grow. The more you grow and share the tighter the bond will become.

It is really not science , it is just being true being who you are.

When you first meet it should be about you , the whole topic should be about you and only you. I want to hear your whole life story. …

If you meet someone and ten minutes into the conversation , he is pushing a Dog collar across the table telling you to put it on , you know what he is really interested in

Just my opinion.

earn

Vile

The Kinky World Of Vile 2015

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Advice, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, BDSM Safety, communication with tags , , , , , , on December 26, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

2015 will be awesome in many ways. One being Arianna and I are moving the 13th of January. Although we love our house the commute is getting to be to much for Arianna.  We were lucky however the Landlord did agree to let us out of our lease early with no real penalties , with the exception of not getting out deposit back, on the good side the house is already rented.

We have both had the flu the past week or so first I then Arianna. I was almost over it but when hers kicked in high gear Karma came back and Bit me.

My blog for the most part is about safety , when it comes to women I have a huge heart submissive or vanilla. I also speak a lot about meeting new Dominants and what to look for and the questions to ask. Some steps are very important and it is very important to take each step without skipping any.

A lot of what I share is about building relationships but it does not really have to be geared towards a D’s Or M’s relationship.

I am going to do more interviews in 2015 but this time I want to get more personal, more on the kinky side of things.

I have talked about how important it is to get active in the local community. If you are looking for a new partner that is the best route to go. Many of you are afraid of being seen but I can assure you there are Doctors , Lawyers and even teachers who attend. Most are private so the chances of being seen are really slim. It is not like there is a sign hanging out front . WELCOME TO THE BDSM MUNCH . Attending functions would really take a lot of stress out of the picture.

I know I rag on married men a lot , maybe it is because they are easy targets and no one ever speaks up. If you think about it these guys are really not Dominants because they cannot even run their own house.  If you cannot keep your own affairs in order how can you Dominate someone else?

I do enjoy all the comments good or bad and I do try to respond to everyone. I like hearing different opinions as well….

Last , I do not claim to know everything , what I am sharing is my past , present and my plans for the future. I share what works for Arianna and I.

There is still going to be a Vile Radio coming early 2015 , things just got a little crazy and sometimes you have to put things on the back burner….

I am going to do more guest blogger as well, I think it is good to let people hear from others when it comes to their thoughts on certain topics…

2015 will rock and the kink will come alive..

Much Love to everyone….

New Year 2015

Vile

The Day Time Stood Still

Posted in bdsm, BDSM Relationship, cheating, Master And Slave, Submission, submissive, Triad with tags , , , , , on December 24, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Things were coming to an end and it was something I did not see happening , nor was it something I could control. I believe things happen for a reason. Sometimes we help things along , and then there are times when we have no control over what happens.

I was shaving one morning and as I was looking out the window , I saw a car parked on the street , as I was looking I saw a man with a pair of binoculars looking at the house. So now I am thinking who have I pissed off this time, or did I forget to file taxes last year?

So I walk out the back door and I sneak up to the car coming from the rear and I place my hand over then lens causing the old fat man to jump.

Hey man can I help you out ? Is there something or someone your looking for ? He replied I am looking for Tina I think she lives here. I thought for a second and I asked who Tina was ? He said she is a dancer and he sees her almost every night. Hmmm I asked him what she looked like and he said she was a young Asian girl who danced at a club he goes to. Ahhh okay buddy well I just may be able to help you out come with me..

As we enter the house I called out for Beth. Beth was the third in our Triad which I might add I could not stand. I did not like her from day one but she was chongs toy. As Beth walked out the man was pretty much speechless. Beth was nude, long blonde hair and she weighed in at a whopping 98 pounds.

I instructed Beth to make a fresh pot of coffee while we waited for chong to come out of the bathroom . As Beth served us the coffee the guy looked at me and said the girl is naked. I said yes she is , so I am sitting there looking at this guy in his 50’s over weight and his wedding band had been taken off. I could see where it went because of the tan.

Now chong was a dancer and there were 3 or 4 clubs she would go to on a monthly basis. When I first met her she was one of the few dancers I had ever met that owned a car and had a checking account. She would work 3 or 4 days a week and make about 2500 to 3000 a week non nude. She did not drugs and she did not drink either.

Chong walked out of the bathroom and down the hall into our florida room and this guy says hey Tina . Chong looked kinda confused and said Dave is that you?

Chong sat on the floor next to me and I looked at the guy and I said I would like you to meet Chong. She is my slave and Beth is Chongs Girlfriend and submissive.

At this point he is looking kinda confused and I explained Tina was a name she just used to work her real name is chong.

As we are talking the guy explains he is in love with Tina and he feels they can build a relationship. He came here to see if she would move in with him.

I asked him what gave him the idea she was in love with him? He said she treated him so nice and would always come over to him when he came to the club, she made him feel special..

He said he felt kinda weird because Tina was only 19 and he was 53 but he felt it would work. So as I am trying not to bust out laughing , I said first she is not 19 she is 27 , her name is not Tina it is Chong. Then I added we are in a Master , Slave relationship and she is owned.

I also added that being nice was her job that is what she got paid for. I also stated that no one gave out their real name or age in that line of work.

I could tell the guy was feeling pretty stupid right about now , so I said you know man, we all make mistakes, just go home to your wife and kids and get your head clear.

Beth was on her way out, Chong and I had been talking about that for sometime. Although Beth and I were not close she was now trying to move into the number one spot in our triad. I had noticed over a couple of months Beth was trying to warm up to me but I just shrugged it off.

Beth moved out on a Monday and that Friday Chongs dad called and said her mother was really ill and Chong should come home.

I booked her flight and on the way to the Airport I stopped by the bank and once back in the car I gave Chong a Huge envelope , and inside of it was 50.000 dollars. That is what I had saved over a period of about 7 years with the money she would give me from working.

Saturday morning I woke up to an empty house , as I am looking around the kitchen trying to find where the fucking coffee was , I got this empty feeling that just came over me and I was in no mood to just sit around and feel sorry for myself. I could of called Beth and probably worked something out but she just churned my stomach.

So I showered got ready , jumped in my 67 camaro and just started driving with no place really in mind. As I was driving west on I4 going through Orlando I had to stop for gas and as I am pumping I am just looking around. I am a huge people watcher, I like trying to figure people out a far. One thing that catches my eyes and thoughts were all of the family’s who were out for the weekend.

I pulled into the parking lot at Bush Gardens , when I left the house I had no idea where I wanted to go even when I arrived I had no idea why I decided on Bush Gardens.

Once in I was pretty hungry I had not eaten anything in about 24 hours so I grabbed a burger and fries and I sat down outside. People watching again and I was just looking at all of these family’s. I am looking at all the fun they are having , laughing and joking , just having fun enjoying the day.

So I am sitting there and I start thinking, and my way of thinking is really pretty weird. When I start thinking I begin to analyze things , I look at every problem that could or would come up. How , why , when and where. It is like I have this huge chalk board in front of me and I start working out different problems.

math

So I am thinking I am really missing out on something , I have let a lot of years pass me by and I need to fix it. Yea okay so I am not thinking to clear and maybe just maybe my emotions are getting the best of me. What is helping though is knowing nothing that has happened is or was my fault. There was nothing I could of done to prevent what had taking place.

So I decided I needed a family, a wife , kids , a house and a dog.. Yes that is the ticket Bam Problem solved.

I was going to change, yes a changed man. I was going to hit the vanilla lifestyle and I was going to be happy. I knew this is what I truly needed.

So I found a woman and in no time we were married, shortly after she was pregnant and then came the house. Shortly after we married I realized I had made a grave mistake and I had to fix the fuck up I had created

When our son was born he had heart problems and at the age of only 18 days old he had a heart transplant, and a week later he passed. I had that empty feeling come over me again and I just need time to think so I felt a vacation was much needed.

7 years had passed and we now had a son and my life was growing more miserable as each day passed. I had to get back to work so I could find out what I had left out.

math

The plan was to come clean about who and what I really was. I need to share that I had been living a lie for 8.5 years who I was playing was not me and I needed more. Now during this fucked up adventure I had remained loyal 100% because that is who I am.So I sat her down and started from the beginning and as I was talking she just sat there and stared at me. I explained that if we maybe found someone to move in a slave that is an in service slave no sex it might ease things a little.

Well that was short lived, although my then wife was a lousy house keeper, could not cook or tell the truth she was not happy with someone else being in the house. Now I had become Dr Evil.

dr_evil I was asked to leave so the next day I packed and I was gone. So I left with a duffel bag and a beat up motorcycle and 500 bucks in my pocket.

I left her the house 3 cars including my fiat and 67 camaro and a 100.000 dollars. I filed for divorce and had agreed to pay 85.00 a week in child support but paid 600 a month instead.

Fact I lost everything and left with nothing but I was free. I was free to be me and as it turned out I had missed some problems while working the board.

There is no better freedom than being who you are.

time

Vile

Houston We Have A Problem

Posted in Arianna, bdsm with tags , , , on December 23, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Arianna and I have been sick , it was I who first encountered the flu and now as I am recovering , Arianna was hit hard yesterday.

So as normal when a man gets sick it is the end of the world , we are dying and need medical attention. We hurt all over and need to be taking care of , while we wait to pass on to the next life. We head to the Doctor , waiting on the bad news about how much time I have left to live. Getting all my ducks in order before the passing.

As far as where I am going when I pass , eh you know I have a lot of explaining to do but I think I am good.

So I get a script for cough syrup, but nothing else , it was more less just suck it up big boy and move on. So since I have a post nasal drip which explained why I thought I was congested the Doctor suggested I get sudafed , so off to fucking Wally World , mind you I am dying, I have seen the burning bush, and now I see the glow at the end of the tunnel. Mind you I am dying , at the end of the tunnel I see the big bad Grim Reaper on one side and the man on the other. Is this a decision that has to be made right now ?  Now I have seen some of the Victoria Secret Angels , but I have seen nothing down stairs so this is going to be hard.

We get to Wally World and Arianna ask about the sudafed and they need her ID because it is a controlled substance. What Really? So scanning her Id again and again then mine finally they get hers to go through only to be told they were out of stock. I am assuming this was something that could not be shared prior to the Id’s

Okay off to CVS , yup out of stock , okay lets try walgreens , yup out of stock. What the fuck is going on it is an OTC decongestant.

What is stopping me from getting something I need ? Drug Addicts , Drug dealers , weak minded individuals who have no life and get off on ruining their own life.

How in the fuck can a entire town or city be out of a fucking OTC cold medicine ? Are that many people that fucked up? It makes you wonder how we make it in today’s world.

Crystal Methamphetamine Crystal methamphetamine is a manufactured drug that is smoked, snorted, or injected. It is known by many. Okay I suppose people need to get off in one way or another.

Here are some of the ingredients people are digesting.

Common Crystal Meth Ingredients:

meth ingredients chart

  • 2-liter bottle
    • Drain cleaner ingredients
    • Brake fluid is used in the home meth recipe
    • Methamphetamine recipe uses Ingredients from drano
    • Lithium, an ingredient in battery acid
    • Lighter fluid ingredients
    • Sudaphedrine or sudaphed  BAM this is what I needed.
    • Ingredients from gasoline
    • Homemade crystal meth uses hydrochloride
    • The Methamphetamine Recipe Uses odine ephedrine
    • Isopropyl rubbing alcohol
    • Ether is used in the crystal meth recipe
    • Freon, an ingredient from camp stove fuel
    • Ingredients from paint thinner
    • White gasoline ammonia
    • Red phosphorus lye

People really do this crap? People lose their family’s , their homes and kids because they are weak?

meth Really are you serious.

I know this is not BDSM related but today I am on a tangent , yea I am bitching…

Vile

The Worlds Best Penis Pump

Posted in bdsm, penis pump, slave, sucking cock with tags , , on December 19, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

mouth

There is no better feeling than being able to lay back and relax while getting head.  This is more true when the one giving knows what they are doing , and they are really getting into it.

suck

The best thing is you can train your slave to give head the way you like it..

I was in a vanilla relationship for nine years , I was fucking miserable , my Ex wife could not suck a Dick to save the Titanic nor could she be taught.

I have a cousin who lives in Alabama and we were at a bar one night drinking and out of the blue he says , You know what works ? I looked and said no what works? He said a penis pump!!!!!

I just sat there looking at him with a blank stare, I shook my head and I said you know there are some things you should just keep to yourself.

I do believe the Mouth is the best penis pump thought…..

6964_287483924687322_1739644233_n

Vile

Every Dominant Trains Different

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Dominant, Master, Protocols, Rules, training your slave, Training your ssubmissive with tags , , , , , , , on December 19, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

There is not one Dominant out there who is the same. We all come from different parts of the world , we were all raised different, we all have different back grounds , and our way of thinking is different.

It was not long ago most Dominant in the community were very close , but over the years thing have changed , we have grown apart the trust is no longer there and it seems everyone is out for their selves.

I am wrong you are wrong , I don’t know what I am doing you don’t know what your doing. If you want your relationship to survive you need to read this book , that book. Wow.

Just like my blog is my opinion so is what you read. What you read is what has worked for someone else , but it does not mean it will work for you, and why is that ?

There is not one book in the world that can describe how a woman thinks. There is not one book in the world that can tell you why someone is submissive or a slave. There is not one book in the world that has a training program that will fit every submissive or slave in the world. The needs in any relationship are different. You can learn what works for others and you may be able to take bits and pieces but your going to have to find that balance that works for both of you.

What works for Master Billy bob and Slave Sarah Jo , will probably not work for someone else. You could however take bits from them and incorporate into your relationship.

It would be wrong of me to say well Master Billy Bob does not have a clue about training a slave. That statement is not correct , and it is so far from the truth it is not funny.

I know nothing about Slave Sarah Jo’s needs , I have no idea what her personality is like , I have no idea what she needs out of the lifestyle. It would be the same with Master Billy Bob , I do not know what his needs are when it comes to an M’s relationship.

A Dominant or Master has their own traits , they have their mind set as far as the type of submissive or slave they are looking for. The same goes with slave Sarah Jo she had the type of mater in mind, the type of Master she needed.

Books can be a good learning source and interesting at times. The book Fifty shades of grey is flying off the shelf , I am sure the movie will do good , but it only shows one side of the lifestyle and that is the kink.

Then you watch the Movie The Secretary , it does show the kink , but it also shows the building of a relationship , rules and building self esteem. It also showed how the needed structure would prevent one from cutting herself.

So fifty shades  grey is really 9 1/2 week with more kink and nothing more.

Here is another thing some meet a Dominant and he will say I want to train you. He then hands out a few rules and that is the end. That is the last thing you hear about training. Your thinking in your mind WOW there has to be more to this , but your afraid to speak up in fear of rocking the boat. If your happy and things are going well then leave it be.

When entering a relationship and the Dominant brings up training , you should ask what his training involves. How is his training going to benefit you?  What are you going to get out of it ? What are some of his goals?

Every Slave is different , every submissive is different , their needs are different , their kinks , their mental stability is different. Everything is different not one is the same , the depth of submission is different.

Some only submit in the bedroom , some like a few rules and task, some like no rules , while some need to give over 100% control.

No one can tell you that your Dominant or Master is doing wrong because they have no idea what your relationship is like.

Everything I share is my opinion and nothing more. What I share is my past present and my plans for the future. What I share works for my relationship, but you can take bits and pieces of what I share and maybe use a little here and there.

In the end we all want the same thing, a Stable and secure home with the one we love.

train

Let The Games Begin , Manipulation

Posted in abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Master And Slave, slave, submissive, sucking cock with tags , , , , , , , , , , on December 19, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was thinking about something , the other night Arianna and I were talking and the subject came up about how some people were very manipulative , and how some used manipulation to get ahead, both Doms and Subs as well as slaves are guilty of using that process to try and get ahead.

Arianna asked me if I ever used manipulation to get what I wanted , and my answer was no.

In the past if I wad not looking for a relationship , I made that clear up front.
If I just wanted to hang out and just fuck or maybe session I made that clear, and there were no hopes of a permanent relationship. Although my sessions were far and few , that was mainly because I had to have a connection. If there was not a connection it was not going to happen, and that included sex. I had gotten to the point I actually had to have feelings for someone even when it came to play or else I got nothing out of it..

It has nothing to do with looks , well maybe to a point but it was more about personality, being able to hold a conversation, but the most important was knowing the slave was taking a real interest in what I had to say. Feelings were something I had to build and that comes with time. Although there are those rare instances when I just clicked with someone , Rare but it happened.

Manipulation can work both ways though it is not just with females but males as well.
We manipulate people to get what we want no matter who we have to step on.

That is one reason Arianna has had thoughts about forming a Triad. Bringing someone else in who had an agenda, not wanting to be number two but wanting to be number one.

A couple of months ago a Slave contacted us, and she was interested in joining our home.
She did not tell us she was already living with a Master who was taking care of her kids, that she did not mention.
She had a motorcycle she had to sell , the one he bought her. She did not tell us she had outstanding warrants in another State, or that she  had just had one of several mental break downs.
She had manipulated him enough to buy her what she wanted and that was not enough.
The out come was she was destroying his home, with the slave he was already married to. She was now causing problems within the home. So she had been caught in her manipulation game and was busted now she wanted to move on.

The game of manipulation is a game where there are no winners , everybody loses, and someone gets hurt.

I know a Master who had a slave and they had been together for a couple of years.
Once he told me who he was seeing, I was like man leave her alone she is poison.
That is a bad way to look at someone but the truth is there are some who are poison, and they kill everything around them.
This is a Master who had to have 6 slaves, I guess because it is an even number.
So a couple of weeks later he calls me and I hear the problems in his voice, and I was like dude I told you, I told you she was poison.
His remark was well I just cant put her out.
Wow you pack her bags and you sit them on the sidewalk , and you say your good byes.
He was lied to, and lied to about many things, including her medical, issues and her temper.
Now I hate to say it but his main slave is now gone, the slave he had been with for a very long time. He allowed this woman to come in and disrupt his home, and in the end he lost.

That is one of the things Arianna was worried about when we were talking about building a Triad. She felt someone or another slave could have an agenda.

I am not that weak, I would not allow someone to come into out home and disrupt what we have.

When he let this slave move in, he just brought her home and told his slave she was moving in.

Everyone loses including the one who is doing the manipulating, then they move on to their next victim. Like a leach they will suck the blood out of you until nothing is left.

The same with meeting a new Dominant who is not true. Chances are the game of manipulation is something and the only thing he has mastered.
He will drag you through the mud until there is nothing left.
To include your self esteem, your pride and anything else he can take that will not weigh him down, and he will toss you to the curb like a bad of trash, and laugh at you as he is leaving.

Many men will jump through hoops, roll over like a dog, and crawl through a mile of broken glass if they think there might be a chance to get their cock sucked.
I find that to not only be sad but pathetic as well. It shows just how weak one is and then he wonders what he did when he is dumped. The bad thing about this practice is he will do it over and over.

So you sit the submissive or slave down. The Dominant will say it is going to be like this, this and this, if you agree fine if you don’t it was nice meeting you

Being a Dominant is not hard , Maintaining a D’s or M’s relationship is hard. Maintaining the structure , the rules , the protocols , the task , everyday life that is hard. Maintaining the communication on a daily basis that is hard.

Once you enter a relationship as long as both are true , everything just falls into place just like dominoes , it is that easy. What makes the relationships so difficult is idiots.

Many times you can see the manipulation but for what ever reason you feel your hooked or there is no one else out there for you. When you do call them out on their game , now the guilt comes into play.

Just look at what Ive done for you. Look at the mess your life was in when we met. You are nothing without me, yea you have heard it before. The Dominant has lost ground and not he is trying to regain control, and by then it is to late…

Male or female never let anyone manipulate you , because it is a game that cannot be won.

game

Vile