The Fall Of The Married Dominant

I am going to start off by saying I am really pissed off. This past year has really been fucked up , not with my life but our election process , protestors , crying when losing , but that is not what I want to cover right now but it falls into the same category.

Fetlife is an awesome social Site for like minded people. Fetlife has thousands of groups and forums to allow those with little to know experience to learn and meet others if you so wish….. Every kink you could ever think of some you know then others are like what the fuck.

Unfortunately there are stupid people in the world , there are those who do not give a fuck, and there are those who simply do not care. As with any site you have to be careful fuck even eharmony has had bad things happen , Christian Mingle , you know shit happens.

What I mean by shit happens there have been several rapes , probably more because over half go unreported.

As with any website when you take money you have to go through a Merchant to handle you’re credit cards. It turns out the Merchant thought Fetlife was a liability when some of the fetish’s that were listed, and many have been removed , as with some profiles and some even had to change the screen name.

 

I cannot express the caution that needs to be taking when meeting a New Dominant. You the Slave , you the Submissive , you the Baby Girl what ever you fall under you have to be careful.

There is a Vetting process you should put the Dominant through , it is you’re right to know the guy inside and out. You have the right to ask questions , email or text others he knows in the community. Lets face it anyone could say they are a Dominant , a Master, or a Daddy Dom. Most will tell you they have been in the lifestyle for 10 , 15 , and 20 years. Most will tell you they are very experienced , when in fact they do not have a clue and this is where you can get hurt. Once you are tied up spread open wide you are fair game and you cannot do anything about it until its over. Think about that really hard , I mean really think.

99% of Dominants are active in the community , roughly 75% want to make a difference in the community , they want to help. Those who tell you they are not you need to find out why? Some will say it is because of work they cannot be seen , but the truth is even like Munchs there are no signs up that say hey this is where are the Dominants and Slaves are meeting. I know Teachers , Lawyers , Doctors who are all lifestyle friendly.

You also have to find out if the Dominant will support you if you want to be active in the community that is what a Dom is suppose to do..

Then we have the Almighty Married Dom , the Married Dom who goes behind his wife and cheats. These are not Dominants these are dudes looking for kink. These are guys who want to find someone who will do things his wife will not.

You are there for one purpose and one purpose only and that is to be used , and you are used on his terms when he able to sneak out of the house. If you think about it if he was a Dom he would be running his own home and would not be looking for a submissive right ?

Having a Married Dominant is a lonely life , when you email or text most of the time it is a week or longer before you even get a response. The reason is I am to busy , work is really crazy , I just didn’t have time. Think about those reasons for a minute, really he has no time to text or email really ? It takes roughly 30 seconds to send a text and about a minute to send an email.

You’re training will consist of sucking cock , and laying on you’re back , getting you’re ass beat for no reason and you take what is giving because you feel you have something to prove.

Training is really an in depth process , it is a process that does not take a week , two weeks , three weeks I am talking months. Training is a hands on process, training is a eye to eye process. You cannot do it texting , you cannot do it face timing , or sending videos , naked pictures or doing anal training alone while he jacks off over the phone.

There are actually two more side to this story though and both are Okay if you are happy with seeing a Married Dom and getting banged once a month, yea the no strings attached thing and that is okay, it does not make you into something bad everyone has needs.

Then there is the Single Submissive who knows the game , she knows about the married Dom , she knows what he is up to , she knows he is sneaking behind his wife’s back and she knows he is scum , pretty much worthless.

I have blogged about Married men before , as a matter of fact several times and not one time has a married dude ever come forward and try to explain his actions.

So I recently received a comment from a single submissive who knows the game , but the trick is , while the Dominant is playing the game she is one step ahead. In fact she is playing the game , and she is running the show. She plays until she gets tired of him then drops him like a bad cold.

I love it because in the end , his ego goes from a 10 to about a 2.5. I cannot even imagine how someone would feel on that end of the stick.

When I responded I was ecstatic , in total awe , I had to re-read it a dozen times…

So here is it..

I’m a female sub. I love married men because I know where it begins and ends. Pants off, pants on, and back out the door to his miserable wife. I get off, he gets off, and we get on with our lives. I keep my feelings in check which is easy because the foundation of our arrangement is built on 1)lies (bc he’s a cheater) and 2)fantasy. I’m usually the one that has to remind these married slobs the shine will rub off, this is not everyday life. Unless you are already married and in a DS relationship. After 1 month I’m the one who usually gets bored like you said, married men get caught up and the attention is not there. I’m fairly new to this lifestyle. I’m also a medical professional and I’m a mother. I don’t need love from a married man! All I want in life is good sex with someone who understands my submissive side, to be the best mother I can be, and to further my career.

Bam how fucking awesome it that, like a Black widow use and then go in for the kill..

Remember you got to be safe , you have to think with a clear head, you have to ask questions and yes even ask for proof. If you meet up with someone and you have not told anyone if something happens then it is all on you…..

Make that safe call, take a pic of his tag , find out where he works , where he lives, where he hangs out. This is you’re right…

bestslavetraining.com is an awesome source for information…. Check it out

NCSF Has a ton of legal information when it comes to the lifestyle check it out.

Vile

Our Total Power Exchange

I searched for some two years for what I will call the perfect partner. I was extremely tired of settling for less when I knew a relationship was not going to work. Maybe I did it because of the companionship , a steady piece of ass , or maybe because I love a challenge I was hoping to take something impossible and make it work.

Here is where it gets somewhat tricky. As long as I can remember I have viewed women as objects , toys , here for service and pleasure. There is also another side to that statement. If you were not submissive Id id not try to push my beliefs on you nor would I try and change you.
I gave those the up most respect. Today I have females who are friends who are not in the lifestyle and I do not discuss the lifestyle in anyway. There are those who I have bent over backwards to help who are not in the lifestyle. So the above statement does not pertain to everyone.

I may not know everything and I have never claimed to know everything but I do know if you do not have a plan , if you do not have some kind of idea when it comes to the type of relationship you want, or the type of Baby Girl , submissive or slave it will never work. These are the people who settle for less. These are the Dominants who try to change someone into someone they are not and it never works. So he ends up exerting all of this energy and time to only find it has been wasted and the slave takes the blame.

Those who are new to the lifestyle are easy targets , they have this huge target on their shirt that says , Hi I am new and I am Gullible.

Although I have had 3 or 4 long term relationships , it was not until many years down the road that I realized I had not defined who or what I was.
Defining myself was a huge piece of the puzzle and without that piece I could never complete the puzzle.

While standing on the side of a canal one night thinking , Animel and I had just left a Chinese Buffet , where I met a woman who knew me but I did not know her and she was scared to death of me, I blogged about this before.

While thinking it hit me like an asteroid , WOW you stupid mother fucker you have had the last few pieces of the puzzle all along you just were not ready to complete it or maybe I was not ready.

I was more concerned about the next piece of ass , the next blow job , or who I could inflict pain on. I was a sadist for many years but I was not a Dominant. Mainly because I did not want that kind of responsibility , nor did I care , or maybe I did not have a clue.

So lets look at the three Basic types of Dominants , first is the Daddy Dom , I know of one I can say I respect and I believe their relationship is steadily evolving , into something more, John Brownstone. Most Daddy Doms are married and cheating. Most daddy Doms are not active in the local community due to the fact of being married, most do not impose rules or structure again because of the responsibility….

This is from a profile on Fetlife………. FInally I seek discreetion as I am married to a ultra-vanilla wife who has zero interest in the lifestyle and hope to eventually find my sub who knows she will be treasured.

Just how fucked up is this? His wife has no clue and as far as she knows everything is fine, and I am sure if she read his profile she would run. So my question is , why not just leave ? The remark She will be Treasured is a total lie because he will not be able to dedicate this time needed. Because when he is needed he will not be able to be there for her.

The Dominant who is Dominant but he is not in complete charge nor is he in control 100% of the time because his submissive has the right to say no even when it comes to following rules. The Dominant is only in charge when the submissive allows him to be in charge. The submissive will only follow rules when it is convenient or they are feeling submissive.

Those who do not live together do not have a clear understand of how a power exchange relationship works. This is because the Dominant clearly has no control over the relationship nor is the submissive able to submit on a regular basis. Training cannot be done and this is because Training has to be daily and consistent. It is not like a book where you read a few chapters , put it down and pick back up a week later.

Total Power Exchange..

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Total power exchange)

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which “love” is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.[1] The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term “slave” because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave’s body, as property or chattel. While male “masters” will usually be referred to as “Master,” whether or not female Masters are referred to as “Master” or “Mistress” may depend upon whether they identify as following the “Leather” or BDSM path.
The Master/slave (or owner/property) relationship is entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, that is forbidden by the laws of most countries.

Outside the BDSM community, the relationship of Master/slave is sometimes regarded as a form of consensual sexual slavery. In BDSM, a slave is a specific type of submissive. The Master/slave relationship refers to the relationship between the individuals involved, and does not necessarily require any specific acts, sexual or otherwise, though sexual activity is usually an aspect of the relationship. The sexual aspect could be conventional, and not necessarily BDSM. A slave could also be a masochist or bottom, but this is not always the case.[2]

Some participants regard the relationship as sexual roleplay, while others enter into the relationship on the basis of a highly committed, long-term, submissive lifestyle.

Some practitioners feel the difference between submissive and slave is the degree of submission. However, many who are involved in Master/slave relationships see the difference as being conceptual. For example, some slaves may not have a naturally submissive personality, but choose to surrender their will and volition to another.

Slave Training

Slave training is a BDSM activity usually involving a consensual power exchange between two people taking on the roles of a Master or Mistress and a slave. The objective is to change the slave’s behavior in a manner that is pleasing to the Master or Mistress, for example to train the slave to follow a set of rules or commands that the Master or Mistress has provided.

Slave training can be a learning process both for the slave (or submissive) and for the Master or Mistress (or Dominant). Training is usually defined in clear steps or lesson plans before it begins. The Master or Mistress teaches the slave how to speak, act and think in a way that is pleasing the Master or Mistress. The slave, in return, derives pleasure from being able to please and serve the Master or Mistress. The slave may also be rewarded tangibly, such as with food, a bed, etc

Training is something I have believed in for sometime , and although in previous relationships there was training , it was nothing compared to the training Arianna went through. Maybe one reason is I was not really ready to settle down, or maybe I had never found the one.
To change ones behavior , the way someone talks, dresses , speaks as well as to others. Hair color, nail polish really everything. I mold to fit my needs. I mold to benefit the slave , my slave.
Every rule I have in place is to benefit Arianna not me, after all the relationship is to insure she is taken care of. I however do come first that includes eating.

I would suspect many relationships fail because there is not a clear understanding prior to entering a relationship. This is due to both trying to be politically correct in fear of not being accepted , or rejected. If both are not upfront about their needs in fear of losing a potential will still end in a total disaster.

A Kinkster is just Kinky , A submissive submits because it is a need but submits on their terms. A slave you needs a TPE relationship Total Power Exchange gives herself or himself because it is a need.
The TPE does not make one weak as most think , Arianna has a degree and has had the same employer for almost 16 years.

What people do not understand is everyone is different , everyone has different needs. Every Dominant , Daddy and Master are different but many times people are to quick to judge and tell others how they are doing it wrong.
The people telling others who are wrong are the ones who are fucked up. There is no BDSM bible and while there is a lot of literature on this subject you are reading someones opinion , just like what I write is my opinion.

Our TPE Total Power Exchange was worked out prior to entering a relationship , it was not something I was interested in but I felt we had enough in common to move forward and give it a try.

I control everything in our home , to include what Arianna wears , hair color , bed time and what time to wake, what she eats. Most of the time I leave cooking up to her but at times I tell her what I want to eat. While I am in full control of the finances I do let Arianna take care of that end, but I know where every penny is spent.

The relationship started out as consensual and today it is still consensual , through our communication and being open with each other , I am proud to say it has been almost 3 years and to date we still have not had an argument. I have not raised my voice nor have I called her any names out of anger.

I have a firm rule I follow , I never lose my temper towards the one who gets on their knees or lays on their back and takes what I have to give.

We are going through changes and our relationship is still continuing to grow, now Arianna is always looking for more ways to submit. As we grow and talk she still wants to dig deeper into her submission.
I will admit she does keep me on my toes and keeps me thinking. My question or thoughts are how deep can one go ? Is there an end or does one continue to travel deeper ?
Ia m going to implement more protocols that will be a reminder of who she is. Just as speaking in thirds which she has mastered , that is a reminder and today she does not even think about the way she is talking and is able to change once out in public.

Putting protocols in place provides structure, structure provides a stable relationship , and then comes communication.
I can say without a Doubt and in Honesty I run my house. I am head cheese , Head Honcho , the king and Emperor. That is something i had to earn it was not giving nor was it demanded , it was earned.

Vile

So Your Thinking About BDSM

A year ago I would of Pimped out Fetlife and there is still a lot of good info to be found as long as you do not comment or ask a question.
In the Beginning Fetlife was an awesome source of information and people willing to help. Today that proves not to be correct and the problem falls back on the group leaders not monitoring what is being said.

So you have done research , maybe you have made a few friends on fetlife , if your a submissive that is very important to meet others like you , you may be different as far as your thoughts maybe your kinks , the rules you want to follow and how you see your everyday life.

You can line up a hundred submissives and walk down the line and everyone is different, you can line up a hundred Dominants and every one is different, this is why the research is so important.

Many times you see yourself as one way but a Dominant will paint you a different picture , and when this happens it can cause confusion on your end.
If someone is trying to change you, then you are not the one for them, and that is okay because that is not the only Dominant or submissive in the world.

Your mindset you have to have the right mindset when entering a relationship, and yes again you have to have a plan. You have to know what you want and what you need out of a D’s or M’s relationship.

Our life is based on only two things , and those two would be Choices and Consequences. The result you are in control of about 98% of what happens in your life , with the remaining two percent leaving room for errors.

What kind of Submissive are you ? what kind of Slave are you ? What kind of Baby Girl are you ? How much control do you want to relinquish ? How deep is your submission ? These are all questions you need to ask yourself?

As I stated above research, research and more research is needed. Although there are thousands of websites and social groups many can and will pollute your mind. What you read is someones opinion , and only their opinion. I take what I read with a grain of salt mainly because I have my own vision. My own vision , a vision I have planned out for the present and the future.
The thing we have to know is everyone is different and their vision is different , and there are those who have no vision, I suppose some just wing it. Taking what comes and goes and not worrying about the choices and consequences.

You can never tell someone who or what you are , if you do they are trying to change you as a person and not accepting you for you. Although you are going to change , you want the change on your terms.

Your mind is going to race a thousand miles an hour , your thoughts and feelings will change on a daily basis, your needs will change on a daily basis until you figure everything out , or you may not figure everything out. You may need someone to take you and guide you , that is not changing you it is guiding you.

You should never let someone define who or what you are. Your a slave not a submissive , again that is someones opinion or someone wanting to change you , and again it is only you who knows who you are.

If your a baby girl or a submissive maybe a slave and all three of these have one thing in common once in a relationship you are going to notice you are growing more dependent. Knowing who you are will allow you to grow and you want to grow with someone who wants you to grow. If your going to grow somewhat dependent on someone you want it to be with someone who has your best interest in mind.

The lifestyle is not difficult , it is the thought process and defining your role that can be difficult. Having the strength to speak up and express your feelings or thoughts.

Something that really bothers me is when you hear another Dominant putting down another Dominant or saying he does not know what he is doing. The dominant is clueless about the lifestyle or he is a fake.
That is an opinion and opinions are like assholes everybody has one. Oh you need to read this book or that book, again that is someones opinion and what works for one will not work for another.

I have said before we are visual and if you google BDSM and click on images you get a definition of what most think BDSM is about, pain and humiliation. You hear but you do not listen, you see but you only see about 35% of what your looking at. A drive by shooting and twenty people see the same car but when questioned no one gives the same description.

If your going to allow a Dominant to train you , he must have a clear vision , he must have a plan and be able to explain what he is doing and why.
Training is meant to provide structure , guidance , self confidence , stability , security , and in some cases improve ones self esteem. Training is about open communication. If your training is about sucking cock or taking pain you are not into then you need to rethink your situation.

You have to be who you are not what someone else wants you to be..

Why is our Government so fucked up ? Because a group of men who cannot come to an agreement on anything. The thing we know is they do not have our best interest in mind. The same goes with a room full of Dominants , you will not be able to get two Dominants to agree on anything and chances are they do not have your best interest in mind mainly because someone wants to change who you are instead of helping define who you are. Hmmm did that make any sense ?

Vile

I Feel Alone

I am not speaking about my relationship With Arianna , I am speaking in general. I am obsessed with the TV The Walking Dead , and I wonder at times if something like that could really happen?

What I am getting at , I remember the very first Walking Dead , when the Deputy Rick had been shot and was in a comma. Once he woke up and started looking around he realized there were no people around. He walked outside and there was nothing no other humans.

Now I am not going off the deep end just in case your wondering , I am just sharing my thoughts. This is why many Dominant need that interaction at local munchs and MAsT groups so we can interact with those who have the same interest.

Here lately that has not been so easy. Arianna and I have attended several different functions and I have not clicked with anyone. I am not sure if it is a lack of differences , or a lack of how we view the lifestyle. I do know that over the past several years the lifestyle has moved more towards the kink side of things, than the what I call the standard BDSM flow. Being communication, structure protocol and rules , and then on to ownership.

I do at times find it difficult to trust people, I also find it difficult to sociable , but maybe that is just the lack of things in common. Going to different functions allows me to be me , and in hopes of communicating with others who have the same interest. What I do find is others bringing drama into a public setting and that is what the conversation is centered around….

I am still debating on filing for my own MAsT chapter , as of now I do have the support of another MAsT group and would give a good recommendation. It is just finding the right time. There is so much more I want to do , but with moving and getting set up , my new job and yes I consider being at a job for 8 months still new. It was not suppose to be as stressful as it is , but I do enjoy it.

Arianna pointed out several months ago , that some people find me to be intimidating , and I am not sure why unless it is my lack of joking around. She also brought it up that many think it is my way or no way. While I can see her side of things , that is not the whole truth. It comes down to a couple of things. If you portray yourself to be someone your not , if you lie , or if your bringing your problems or drama someplace that is meant to be educational , or if your abusive that is where I draw the line.

Arianna brought it up that I should try being nicer to people , be more open or receptive, and after giving it some thought for a while , I decided to give it a try.
I invited someone to my home , and even offered to take them out, as it turned out I had to work so Arianna met her and spent a great deal of time with. Now I invited with the intentions of just being friends nothing more. I made no out of the way advancements because Arianna was in the loop the whole time, and once the two started texting , I for the most dropped out of the picture, we still chatted on Facebook but it was just friendly chat.
I am more than positive Arianna was a good host, I am also sure Arianna was polite and friendly. So after going to a theme park , out to eat a couple of times, all communication stopped.
So one or two things happened , either I offended her or Arianna was not a good host and was not friendly , which I doubt was the case, at any rate this is the reason I distant myself from people , this is the same reason I have very few friends. This is why I do not allow myself to get close to anyone , because after it was all said and done , I felt as if I was used, no explanation or anything.

In the end it is all good though , I am in a good place and it is my own little world….

Before you start thinking , this is not a pity party because I do not roll like that, I am just expressing my feelings , on this part of life..

Vile

What Kind Of Submissive Or Slave are you

We are all Different our personality’s , our lifestyle , our work. We are come from different backgrounds. Submission comes on so many different levels. Dominance comes on so many different levels, our kinks come on so many different levels….. More important our needs come on so many different levels.

Over the years I have grown , over the years I have made mistakes and I have paid my dues. Today I live by two words yea you know them Choices and Consequences , those two paths will lay out your whole life.

Submission, The state of being obedient : the act of accepting the authority or control of someone else. Those are some very deep words and words that need to be given heavy thought.

So you grab a pen and paper , a blanket and curl up on the couch and you let the thinking begin. I have posted something else about this , one was. There are seven different types of submissives , but as I was thinking about that topic I believe there are way more. To be put in any one group is not right or fair, so you have to get your thinking cap on.

Do you want to follow rules? Do you want structure ? How much power do you want to give up? Do you want just in the bedroom , the house or 24/7 ? You have a million and one thoughts so I would not think this is something you would complete in one sitting.

What kind of Dominant are you looking for? Strict ? One who gives you rules ? Protocols ? One who punishes when needed? One who keeps his word and tells the truth ? A Dominant who will listen to you , A Dominant who will communicate with you on all levels ?

You have to figure out your kinks , some you will not be sure of because you have not explored. What hard limits you have , medium and soft.
You must know the difference between the different Dominants. A Dominant and a Master are very different. A Daddy Dom is very different from the other two. Once you have kinda figured out where you think you would fit, then you can determine what type of Dominant your looking for….

Wanting someone who wants you for you, not someone who wants to try and change you. I take and improve on what I have to fit my needs. If you have to go through all those changes then you have found the wrong person, the wrong partner…

Acceptance in any relationship matters the most , being able to be yourself , be who you are and being free.

Many who are first entering the lifestyle will feel rushed , and may even have that feeling of being overwhelmed. It happens and this is when you have to sit and take control over your emotions and your thoughts. You have to learn to tell the difference between what your heart is saying and your head, most of the time your brain is right.

Limits , every Dominant wants to know what your limits are. Do you enjoy anal sex? Do you swallow ? Do you like Rimming ? Do you like humiliation ? Do you enjoy pain ? The most frequent question on the street today is are you BI ? Why is that number one I do not have a clue?

Being new to the lifestyle you have know know if what you want is fantasy or reality, not knowing has been the down fall of many relationships. If it is just fantasy and the relationship ends , then it was the Dom who abuse you , or so you think. Many times when fantasy meets reality it can be a crashing blow. Now your fantasy turns to fear and the Dominant ends up getting blamed for something you told him you wanted.

Being new and not talking to anyone in person who lives the lifestyle is really hard. While it is true you can chat on the internet , knowing if someone is telling you the truth or not is harder.

The number one rule you have to follow is never let someone tell you who you are , this is trying to change you and change the thoughts you have already put together in your head. You may say well I am a submissive , and someone try to tell you your a slave or a baby girl when in fact your a submissive. Your going to listen because this Dom has told you he has 100 years in the lifestyle. The key to your success in the lifestyle is being able to be you. The key is finding someone who will except you for you. If someone wants to change you then you are not be accepted for who you are.

If your asked a direct question then you give a direct answer. You do not at any time give an answer because it is what they want to hear. You answer with your first thought. Are you poly ? No I am not nor do I wish to be. Acceptance is the key word here.
Those two words again Choices and Consequences those two words will make you or break you and your answers need to be clear and straight forward.

Do you like pain ? You already know the answer to that question or you should if not then your answer would be , you know I am not sure I am willing to explore a little. A direct question gets a direct answer.

You have to remember every submissive is different , every submissive has different needs , just as with a slave or a Baby girl. Your needs are what is important , your needs should be met without resistance.

Rules are meant to improve not change you. Rules are meant to provide structure and guide you , not change you.
You must send me nude pictures everyday , that is not a rule , that is exploiting you , and do not think he is the only one who is seeing your pictures.

Do not think the first Dominant you meet is your last , if something does not feel right , then thank him for dinner and tell him it is just not you, you are not what he is looking for. Choices and Consequences.

The predators in the lifestyle truly out number those who are real and have their best interest in you. It does take time to figure out who is real and those who are just looking for a quick fuck. These types of predators will string you along until you catch on.

Remember this is your life , you are in full control of the outcome.

Vile

The Truth About Daddy Dominants

First I am not speaking about every Daddy Dominant in the lifestyle , I am however speaking about 98% or higher .
Baby Girls in the lifestyle for the most are really different than those who are submissive or even a Slave. Most Baby Girls do not live with their Daddy Dominants, while I am not sure what the numbers are the percentage is very high.

Most Daddy Dominants are married and cheating , most Baby Girls do not care that they could be responsible for ripping a family apart because they are selfish. Selfish enough to try and separate the father from his children. In those cases I look down on both and I have zero respect for either.

Baby Girls first coming into the lifestyle are very vulnerable, all are really clueless when it comes to the lifestyle. Most if not all are clueless when it comes to finding a good Dominant.

So A week or so ago I was speaking with a Baby Girl who mentioned the same thing I am speaking about , how the Doms wanted a relationship but they did not want the responsibility.

So while chatting with this Baby girl she told me she had been talking to a Daddy Dom or maybe just a Dom , but when I asked if he was married she said luckily no , she too has had the same problem with married Dominants.

Again I am not speaking about all Daddy Doms , there are some good ones out there who have their baby girls best interest at heart.

You know I spent almost 7 years in a Daddy Dom role , I will also be the first to admit that was a bad turning point in my relationship but I did it because it was a need for the slave, little did I know she saw that as a weakness in me , because I was willing to change who I was.

My role was not an easy one , I set goals for her , and I made sure they were followed through with. I had rules , and protocols that were followed. Again the weakness was me changing who I was.

Once your Baby girl , submissive or slave spots a weakness they will prey on that to see how far they can push you.

While our relationship is strictly an M’s , it is based more on structure , rules and protocols. I have never left a mark on Arianna , the key word here being NEVER. One I know her limits and I respect them , two I care to much for her.

This statement is going to hit some nerves. The term Daddy Dom is somewhat new to the lifestyle. Another for the most I do not even think in a Daddy baby girl relationship the term BDSM should even be used. The main reason being many do not have rules , many do not have protocols , nor any type of structure. The final the only time a collar is put on is during play.
While at a MasT meeting sometime ago a Daddy Dom called me aside and told me I was abusing Arianna, I should not even be in the lifestyle because I did not know what I was doing. He said I was to strict, and I did not give her any freedom.
I thought for a second and I asked his what was he even doing at a MasT meeting. MasT means Masters And Slaves Together.
I have been approached by Dominants who have asked me basically the same thing. These are people who do not have a true understanding of what the dynamics of a M’s relationship is really about.
Again this is not my thoughts to all Daddys Doms within the lifestyle.
However there is a reason why you do not see many Daddy , Baby girl relationships active in the local community, who knows?

Books are an excellent reference , and you can obtain a great deal of information from books , good and bad , but you cannot live your life according to what someone else has written it will not work. We as humans have different needs , different kinks , we need different structure , and rules. Books can give you an out line but in the end your just reading someones opinion, just like my blog.

Most Daddy Doms do not collar their property, well the first meeting but after that the collar is not brought up except during play.

We need to learn to accept everyone for who they are , and what would help is maybe learning to understand our friends a lot more. The more we understand the more we grow, the more we grow , then we are open to more ideas.

I have a very dear friend Master R , him and I live total different separate lives , we both have total different views on how a M’s relationship should be ran, how a house should be ran, but we are open enough to understand we both have different needs. We also know we can depend on each other , and today in the lifestyle that is really hard.

That is why when you first meet someone being able to clearly communicate is so important, being able to understand where each other is coming from. Knowing what is expected of each other. How you see yourself in a relationship , be it Daddy Dom Baby Girl , Dominant , and Submissive or Master and Slave.

I have said this before , my way is not the only way, and just with any book , after reading some 1000 post maybe you can lay the ground work to something awesome…

Again there are a few Daddy Dominants I respect but for the most man I cant even say.

Many who call themselves Daddy Doms are married and want a piece of ass on the side. So you sit and wait and wait and wait for that call or text and then you get a couple of hours alone, then you wait another two weeks or a month and in some cases longer. You are an object and if you are happy being an object then so be it I am happy for you.

Vile

My Wife , My Slave , My Bitch , My Property

I read a very interesting piece from John Brownstone this am and it really hit home. I myself fully understand where he is coming from , and why it took him so long to use certain words , and why many people who are in the lifestyle and not in the lifestyle do not understand how we as Leaders , and Dominants how we could call someone so dear to us Names.

http://southernsirsplace.com/shes-my-slut-bdsm/?fb_action_ids=1561126647477766&fb_action_types=news.publishes&fb_ref=pub-standard

I have what is called pet names , some may use Baby , sweetie , Bootsey , Baby Boo, I happen to use slut , whore , my bitch , really what ever comes to mind again these are pet names , this is under what is called open communication.

Arianna knows I mean nothing by it in a angry way, to use such names out of anger is a total different story. An angry mans words are a calm mans thoughts, just like a drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts.

You know I am not the romantic type in case you have not noticed , I try I really do , I just find it hard trying to be mushy. So I make it up in other areas. Doing things around the home, cooking on my days off , I always try and do something special. Going out as much as possible to give Arianna some breathing room, but I am just not the cuddly type and again I do try.

Looking back many years ago I saw women as objects and nothing more . It my mind it was game on and in my head I had to fuck as many women as I could. Again I was on the hunt for an object not a person , in my mind women had three pussy’s and all were there to use. I seldom dated someone more than twice unless she had above average cock sucking skills. So a long term relationship was not high on my list.

Growing older though we change , something inside of us says hey man there has to be more. Why wake up every morning alone?  The truth is you can only burn so many bridges before you run out. I have done some fucked up things in the past but one thing I always knew is NO meant NO and STOP meant STOP. Then at times silence means NO trust me you can tell. In that aspect I always respected the words and actions of NO or STOP.

John Brownstone had spoken a little about bringing another in or play in a dungeon setting , and I think such play could be okay under the right hands, as John mentioned the Dominants he knows are well versed in the lifestyle and has known them for a very long time. To add more it was not sexual which I find that to be very honorable.

I find it hard to bite or digest how a Dominant could openly share his property with another man or men. Someone you love and cherish. That mostly happens though when the two do not live together and the dude is married yea he is just a dude not a Dom or Master just a plan ol Dude.  He can share because he has no emotional ties with the submissive, she is a piece of ass and nothing more.

I loved this John spoke about respect and although there are not very many Daddy Dominants I like or even respect , without even Meeting John I have a great deal of respect for him. He is someone I could sit down with a nice Brandy someday.

Arianna you can look but you cant touch she is owned property. Since the day she was collared her collar has never been off. I have never disrespected Arianna and neither will anyone else. I have actually had other Dominants ask me if they could fuck Arianna, and all they got was a blank canvas stare.

The problem today is so many relate BDSM to just sex and kink , and nothing more . That is why so many relationships rise and fall and you people have seen that as well, subs and slaves jumping from Dom to Dom, Doms jumping from subs and slaves to others some only lasting a few days.

Back to the names , I also look at some names as a sign of ownership , my property. Some are still closed minded about the subject and that is okay we are all different.

Arianna is my Property

Vile

Arianna’s Codependency

In the Vanilla world the word codependent is a nasty word , it is a word of weakness , and it is an open door for abuse. Most men can smell it a mile away. Most men see it as a easy target. Then here comes the Leech it starts sucking and sucking and sucking until there is nothing left. The you wake up one morning and your alone. So what do you do ? You get up and you start all over. You have just been knocked down , kicked, slapped and called every name in the book and some you have never heard, and of course the relationship breakdown is your fault and your fault only.

What adds to the pie is if you suffer from depression. I have mixed feeling about some of the medications that are used to treat people. Is there a cure ? I highly doubt it but the road to success starts within the home , how the home is ran. Abuse , problems , drama , and the one key a lack of love.

So you go see a shrink you talk for thirty minutes and you walk out with a hand full of prescriptions you cant afford , and no one is there to help you fill them , so you have hit another road block.

I have mixed feelings about Codependency , most in the medical field say there is a cure and I believe there can be a cure under the right conditions , and without  most of the medications that are giving out , well maybe not a complete cure but a cure as far as you can take it.

Many Dominants who are new , those who could give a fuck and those who are clueless will step into such a relationship without a care. Things are good until you become or show signs of being needy, this is where your relationship turns bad.

This is why it is so important to get to know someone on a personal level first before entering any type of relationship and more so when it comes to BDSM. Once you enter that area you now have the responsibility of two and not just one. That means depending on what phase you are in the relationship will depend on the amount of time you have to devote to your property.

What are your limits ? This is a question that should take time to come up, limits have no meaning if you do not know whom your speaking with. Many of you can ask your New Dominant what your favorite food is or drink even color and you will get silence . Why ? Because they have not been listening to you, they hear you but they are not listening.

Before I met Arianna I knew I wanted a relationship , and in a two year period I cannot even tell you how many who said they were submissive or slaves I dated. I had a list of questions and a list of my needs , and a list of the must. If I heard the word no or I cant , we were done because I refused to bend.  See I wanted a relationship a long term relationship but I wanted very little responsibility . I wanted the pussy the mouth and the ass and a side of kink, maybe a few rules and I would of been good.

The key is to find someone who will say yes, yes, yes , I am fine with that , yes and yes.  The minute you have to say well why not ? Have you tried it ? You may like it why not give it a try ? You are then forcing someone to do something they are not comfortable with , you are changing someone and that is not what we want to do, we want to build on what we have.  If you try to change someone you are telling them you are not happy with who they are. The second you try to change someone , the first thoughts are they are not good enough for you, if they were you would not be trying to change or force them to do something they are against….

If a Dominant is trying to change you in any way then he is not the Dom for you. You should be taking as you are and build from there.

When I met Arianna, just from a few words I could tell there was something there , I had a very good feeling. We talked and it was nothing about BDSM . I wanted to know about her , music , food , her work which I found to be very interesting. I wanted to know what she was thinking , and what made her think the way she did.

Along with my needs Arianna had a list of needs and a list that to this day continues to grow. I took a couple of days to think if I wanted to take on the amount of responsibility Arianna wanted me to take on , because I knew it would not be an easy task.

I agreed to such a relationship and now over a two year period we have yet to have an argument , no fighting , no yelling and no name calling.  This is all due to open communication.

The first 90 days was a test for both of us , what shocked me was Arianna’s submission , there was absolutely no resistance , that through me for a loop and I had to change some things up. The first initial training lasted for approx 90 days, during that time there were test , to include being a in service slave for another Master and Slave. Serving dinner , refilling drinks and using proper protocols that had been put into place. Master R was very impressed with Arianna;s performance.

Something else I did was to introduce Arianna to people I knew who was active in the local community , not trying to prove who or what I was but to show I was who I was. To Let Arianna know I was being truthful just as I expected her to be.

Then came the final test , I cut Arianna’s hair , I had the right side shaved , well not bald but short enough it could not be combed. Maybe it was not a test I had that planned from day one.

We are Master and Slave , I control everything in our life , I control every move Arianna makes , from sitting , to eating, bathing , clothes , bed time , naps if I feel one is needed , to most of her clothes. I do allow free time , and I allow her to see friends and family as well , with a one weeks request.

I control her speech , she has now perfected speaking in thirds. Arianna never uses the words I or me. I do give Arianna full rein in the kitchen , unless there is something I want. On my days off I do a great deal of cooking , so it was not a maid or a mother figure I was looking for. I help out around the house when needed.

Right above Arianna’s click is my initial , perfectly shaved and has been there for more than two years , so while I am fucking her I can look down and see that I truly own her.

Now your thinking Vile you are abusive , how could you treat someone in this manner ? How can you be so cruel , and mean to someone you love ? How can you humiliate someone you say you love so dearly ? Oh I forgot the GPS tracker on her cell phone.

Well !!! Here is the thing , everything mentioned above was Arianna’s idea. Everything above was Arianna’s needs. Everything above is what Arianna needed in a M’s relationship. Arianna wanted to be owned property.

Being codependent does not make you weak , it does not make you dumb , or anything less. You know if your Codependent , you know your submissive , you know if your a baby girl , or even a slave.  It is your responsibility to find someone who has your best interest , someone who will accept you for who you are , but most important someone who understands you.

A couple of years ago Arianna had a small break down and one before that , and the other day we were talking and she made the statement she no longer had the ups in life, it was like she was just here.

So here are my thoughts and again this is only my opinion , I do not have a PHD but I do have a PHD when it comes to the lifestyle. I have met hundreds and thousands of Dominants , subs and slaves , I enter act with people in the local community, and I have spent a great deal of time with subs and slaves. One thing many had in common not all but many . Some suffered from depression , anxiety , Bi polar , and Codependency, again I did not say all.

I am really surprised the medical profession had not put 1+1 together. I am surprised the medical profession has not done more research on the subject.

So you have a stroke , a spinal injury from a accident , a nervous breakdown , they all have one thing in common , your brain now transmits information different. You can have a small stroke and be 98% okay in a short time or you can have a major stroke and you can no longer walk, the same with spinal injures and breakdowns. What happens now our brain now transmits information differently and sometimes slower. You can take medication to ease things but your never the same. It is not your fault , it is life and sometimes life sucks.

When does someone’s submissiveness start at what age ? At what time in life does someone realize they are submissive or a slave ? Many it begins from birth but it may take years before they understand their feelings , something happens in their life that causes changes , or something gets triggered, a movie , a book maybe a website , or just through general conversation. Something triggers it.

A Dominant is born it is very difficult for a Dominant who is middle age to discover they have a Dominant side and they now want a submissive. I am not going to say it does not happen it does and it is very rare.  I have met a few Dominants who entered the lifestyle at a later age and they are true, then I have met a lot of dick heads, who use the lifestyle as a way to abuse.

What many fail to understand is we area ll different , we all have different needs. We all react differently to different situations , we all handle problems different, we react different our thought process is different.

If you as a submissive or slave are emotional or maybe you suffer from depression then you need to tread on thin water, you need to be careful. Your mental state of mind is what is important. Being who you are is important, being free is what you need…

Vike

Are You Being Exploited ?

You have taken a new turn in life , you have decided to take a new path , to some it can be dark , to some it can be erotic, to some it is scary. To some it is a life of paradise , and then to some it is all about abuse , being used and humiliated. Your broke until there is nothing left to break, you have no will power left and your self esteem is shot to hell.

Predators are alive and well and they are just not male they are females as well, and being new and not having a clue about the lifestyle you can really get fucked up.

Something happens when you meet that first Dominant or your first Mistress. All of your rational thinking goes right out the door, mass confusion kicks in and you cannot comprehend anything, and you are listening to the only one you know in the lifestyle he or she can do no wrong. Yea it does not always work that way more so if you do not have a clue about the lifestyle.

You know what pisses me off is if I take the time to write an email or send a text and I do not get a reply or it is a couple of days before I hear anything , that is just a total lack of respect.

So when entering a relationship you need to have open communication , more so if your not living together. LDR relationships are not so easy these days , I have been in and have known people who have tried LDR or Long Distance Relationships and very few have worked out.  The connection may be there , the communication may be there , the video time may be there, but your missing the physical side of the relationship and being human we need that interaction , without it things can get pretty lonely.

Being exploited in a LDR is really easy especially if your asked to send videos and a mass number of pictures. If you think your Newly found Dominant is keeping your pictures and videos private , well you need a slap of reality. Another sign would be if you spend more time having phone sex and actual conversation , once the Dominant is finished he is ready to hang up.

Yea here we go again the Married cheating Dominant , this is no way in any shape or form a Dominant , this is a man who gets off on exploiting women. This is a man who cannot run his own home , this is a man who cannot control his own home , this man is not a leader , in fact he is just taking up oxygen that others need.

You the submissive , you the baby girl or possibly a slave , you are being exploited , you are being used because you will do things this so called Dominants wife will not do. She will not suck did but you will , she will not take it up the ass but you will, she will not dress like a slut but you will , and this comes all with promises he will leave his wife and kids , pay child support lose his house, yea keep on believing this will happen.

I was on fetlife not long ago and I saw a submissive’s profile who was seeing a married man , but she prayed to god every night. Really are you kidding me. So he is exploiting her and she is trying to exploit god ? I mean if that sounds right. I guess if your good with your conscious then what does it matter , okay enough about religion..

You have both who are not true to the lifestyle Dominants as well as Mistresses , there are both who use and exploit those who are weak or don’t know any better. Maybe weak was not a good word to use , maybe  inexperienced is a better word.

Something I really hate or something that really annoys me is when you first meet a New Dominant for the first time and he says okay well lets start your training. That is a false statement because he cannot start your training because he knows nothing about you. Here is a list of rules I want you to follow and I want you to memorize them but next Friday. My question is how is that possible ?

Okay lets see here, I must worship your cock , okay I am not allowed to cum , okay , um I have to wear a skirt with no panties when I do get to see you for a couple of hours , Okay . These are not rules , this is a human with an ego problem. Many say I have an ego problem , but I call it confidence , I am very confident with just a touch of cocky on the side , with a little bit of smart ass added , mixed with a glass of go fuck yourself.  Ego problem not in the least , not even close.

Many see submission as a weakness , and they see this because they do not understand the lifestyle , remember we as humans are visual , Google , BDSM and click on images , there is your BDSM.

Many see submission as a way to use and abuse , just fuck with you , mentally , physically , and verbally , you are a hole and nothing more, some of you see the signs and you wish to ignore in hopes things will get better , and there are some who will get the nerve up to say you know what ? Go fuck yourself im outta here. You can however choose to ride the perfect storm out , but how much of your life are you willing to waste ? How much of your life are you going to throw away on a hope?

You sitting on the couch crying your sorrows away on your Birthday waiting on that text or email the one you never get because the Dominant was to busy. That is a form of being exploited , waiting on a text wishing you a Merry Christmas that never comes because the Dominant was to busy , yes that is a form of being exploited.

How much time does it take to send a text 15 maybe 20 seconds an email 5 minutes ? Your not worth that much time, a phone call once a day, are you not worth that much time , a call that does not include phone sex. Eh Ill make her wait I am the Master it will do her good.

My wife says it is okay for me to see others, Really ? Just like that she is going to say it is okay , knowing there is a chance her home could be ripped apart , something she has built , because we know the so called Dominant did not do it, remember he is the one who cannot run his own house.

So if your wife says it is okay for you to see other women , then I am assuming we can all three have lunch or dinner so she can look at me in the eye and say yes you can fuck my husband. Now there are some who would gladly let the worthless dumb ass go out and fuck someone else just so he will leave her alone. If what he is saying then he should not have a problem setting up a meeting.

Before Arianna and I met she was seeing a couple , but she was becoming very displeased with the relationship because the time spent with them was on their terms, what they did was on their terms. Being a third wheel is not always bad if your included in everything as it should be.

The deal was they would only have sex when they were all together in front of each other , well that was not good enough for him so he started trying to see Arianna on the side , but she would not give in , because there were rules and she did not want to disrespect the wife, that would of been exploiting her.

Two years later Arianna gets a Text , now Arianna tells me everything and I do mean everything. So over two years go by and this married dude still has Arianna’s phone number , Really are you serious? So he wants to see her , she explains she is now married and it would not be a good idea. His remark was well I am married to so what. See even after his wife gave in it was still not good enough he needed more.

Arianna and I were talking the other day about how much fun it would be to have a third , how much fun it would be to go out and do things. I have to agree it would be , and what will happen will happen , it may and that is okay and it may not and I am okay with that as well.

You have to be extremely careful bringing someone into your home , something the two of you have built, and finding the right one has proven to be difficult. The thing is it is not even about looks , or what kind of job , how much money someone makes, it is all about personality. Personality means everything , a fun go lucky wanna get out and do something.

Take baby steps , learn , watch and listen take mental notes , listen , listen and listen. If you do that a whole new world will open up for you.

How are you going to train me ? That was Arianna asking me that question. 80% your going to watch , listen and observe, when we are done you will be able to anticipate my needs without asking, you will have to want to learn me.

Arianna , I am afraid I am going to fail , there is no way I can possibly do that , I am going to fail then what happens to me ? The truth is there is no such thing as a failure , there is no failure with the right positive reinforcement, there is no failure with the right communication and dedication a relationship needs. There is no failure in a relationship if your not being used.

Dont get me wrong , I use Arianna , I use her for my pleasure , most of the sex is on my terms. I stand at the side of the bed and I snap my fingers and Arianna knows to much to the edge of the bed and spread. I use her I admit this be it sucking my cock just fucking , anal , being rimmed that is what she is for ,but and there is a but a huge BUT.

I give back 150% on a daily basis , I am there for her 24/7 365. Arianna knows she can fully depend on me, Arianna knows she can come to me and talk about anything. Arianna knows if a problem comes to light I am there to take care of it. I can assure you I give much more than I take.

Well vile how can you treat her that way are you not exploiting her ? Here is the thing I knew exactly what I was looking for in a woman and a slave. The key word here is SLAVE , not submissive , not a baby girl a slave.

So everything in our relationship was agreed on prior to entering a relationship, we both new what we wanted and needed. There were no surprises , and no lies. Everything was put out in the open…..

So this dude has had Arianna’s cell number for over two years are you serious? Two years go by and you still have someones number you have not talked to or even sent a text, how pathetic is that? Follow Viles plan if your in my phone and I do not hear from you in 60 days guess what happens ? Yep you get deleted , and it may not be because I don’t like you but your taking up needed space in my phone book and right now I think I have a total of 11 people saved.

I did get off track a few times , but if you follow me you know that is a giving.

I would like to do some more interviews so if someone wants to step up to the plate let me know…..

Vile

Interview With a Little With A Touch Of Primal

I love doing these what I call Interviews. It lets us deeper into someones life and maybe we hit on things that is not shared on their blog.

I stopped because one of the last ones basically the whole interview was a lie and I know this because they confessed shortly after , so I felt uncomfortable with sharing information that may or may not be true.

This is a different story I believe you are going to enjoy this interview , she is awesome and very straight forward , with a touch of primal….

I try not to get to personal but some of the questions I ask are to make someone think….

I also want to say I like her enough , my slave and I have invited her to our home in February and we will take her to an amusement park for the day then out to dinner. I also want to say I do not invite just anyone to my home. There are a few I have met on here I would but it is not very often..

So here we go……

Thank you for asking and I agree, if you are going to do it, tell the truth, shame the devil and have a good giggle ;-).  I’m sorry if this is long winded but you know how Self Important us Littles tend to feel about ourselves (giggle).

1. Tell us a little about yourself . How many children do you have and how do you manage your day working ?My blog has changed names a few times but the last and final is Searching 4 Selina.  I have no problem embracing my Super Villian façade when it comes to dealing with things that scare me but I am learning to stop hiding behind my secret identity and to allow others to see the softer side of myself.

Like Shrek said, I am like an onion.  I may make you cry at times but odds are good you will laugh as well.  It can be painful but you keep coming back because I just add that extra spice you need!  I grew up in a military family raised by my Aunt and Uncle.  I have 3 older brothers who are very protective and old fashioned with one in the life style who is a Master and Sadistic.  I have always been very sheltered by the men in my family and in a way it has always allowed me to take chances and risks as I will always land on my feet thanks to them.  I am affectionately called the “Spoiled Little Princess” and that is a true description at times.  I will take as much as you allow me to.  Why?  Because I am the princess of course (giggle).

I have 3 children whom I love with all my heart.  They are all different and all very creative.  I grew up with “parents” who encouraged me to be myself and I passed this along to mine.  I ended up with a cheerleader, football player and a self celebrated “awkward, Social geek, and friend extraordinaire”.  I am THAT MOM… I drove a decked out mini van (until it went stupid), wear the shirts with my kids names to events and volunteer with the booster clubs, and for the youngest.  Whatever weirdness she is into (anime) I embrace, even to the point of tolerating Harley in DC.  She has a best friend who is gay and open in middle school.  She has adopted him and I call him my son as well.

As for work, I am a office/Program Manager so I have to be ON IT when it comes to most things.  I am highly respected not only for my knowledge but because those who meet me find me personal able and approachable when they need assistance and trust me when I say I will help I will help.  I am the subject matter expert and I speak my mind “respectfully”.  I have a schedule on which I do everything that helps me to remain in control/charge and to get things done.

2. How long have you been in the lifestyle and when did you come to realize you were a little ?  In a way I have always been in the life style.  My Aunt and Uncle were D/s and I got to grown up seeing the peace that it can bring to a relationship.  I think I have always known I was little but before they called it a “sweet spirit”.  I have always collected dolls, always been a hugger, and always LOVED Disney and embraced the innocence of life.  This has made my Aunt and Uncle’s children (my brothers and sisters) more protective of me as well.

3 Can you please explain the term little and what it means to you ..FOR ME:  A Little is someone in the BDSM Life style who has a inner Little person.  Its not a personality disorder but a genuine way of looking at things.  We like sparklies, we tend to giggle a lot, we squeak and squeal when we are happy you can feel that energy.  For me, my little is always a part of me.  At work they call me quirky as I hide in plain sight.  I wear pink bunny slippers when I want to get out of my heels, I have been know to skip down the halls after a long meeting, and once when meeting a new section head who was OVERLY STUFFY I sang the Mr. Rogers theme song under my breath

4. How many D’s little relationships have you been in and what happened ? I have had 5 and they were

1 – MP who was a Master.  I was with him from the time I was 21 to 25.  I didn’t know that we had a D’s relationship but rather viewed it as old fashioned.  After he proposed and we were planning the wedding he presented me with my 1st collar and explained it as well as the direction of our relationship moving forward.  We had already been doing spankings, and light bondage, I called him Daddy and he took care of me.  But naming it like that, I ran afraid at the feelings of invoked.

2 – CSM I was 35 to 37 and we got together not long after my separation and through my divorce.  He was  a Sadist and loved me very much.  He could cause suck pain but loved me so well.  I use to be afraid to tell people about our play sessions afraid they would think badly of him but having meet others here on WP I can be proud of my time with him.  He got sent to Japan so we had to end as I couldn’t go there or take my kids and he knew it wasn’t right to keep me waiting 3 years.

3 – Younger guy who was poly.  It was a bad experience as he had a slave who HATED ME and for the most part much of our relationship was to make her happy.  He even gave us the same collar because she hated that I didn’t have one while she had to wear one.  Also, he pretty much just piggy backed onto what CSM did and rules set by him.  He also went to Japan

4 – Garrick….Garrick was Primal and online only.  He and I were friends on Fetlife who found we had TONS in common.  We didn’t set out to enter into a DD/bg dynamic but rather…it just happened, two Primal people walk into a bar so to speak.  Even though we were long distance he really understood the needs I had and did his best to provide.  However he was married with a lot going on and became over whelmed and ended up abandoning me.  We have since spoken and gotten closure and it’s nice to have my friend back again.

5 – DK…goodness DK was a SAGA!  DK was Alpha and vanilla who loved me enough to try D’s and to try to be my Daddy.  He was good at the D’s part and found freedom in giving into his darker urges of being dominant and bondage (I once spent a weekend chained to his bed as I kept threatening to leave) and providing that FIRM HAND that I needed.  However he wasn’t a Daddy.  He did not feel those Daddy urges and could not REALLY understand my Little.  In the end, I had to accept that fundamentally we were NOT as good a fit as everyone thought and end the relationship.  I am blessed that we are still good friends which made the break up that much easier.

5. What are you looking for in a Daddy Dominant? This is a hard question to answer as it is hard to define what I need in a Daddy.

#1 DADDY DOM!  He has to have a back bone, speak up and not get trampled under my feet.  I want him to put that bass in his voice and call me on my actions no matter how little and he needs to be a Daddy.  He must feel those Daddy urges and not just because I am for them.  Need to put me to bed, need to check on me, need to bath me or ensure that I brush my teeth and wash my face before bed.  MUST have that Daddy Dom tone and look DOWN!!!  The kind who will pull you in close, run his hand up the back of your neck then grab a fist full of hair to pull your head back when you get out of line
#2 – Affectionate and caring.  I love to snuggle and cuddle so having a DD that feels the same is important.  He will need to understand that as much as I crave sex there will be times when I need to put my hair in pony tails, crawl into my pj’s and hide away.  I need him to hold me and understand this is a part of me.

#3 – Sense of humor.  I am a Brat after all and I am going to get into mischief.  He will need to laugh it off when he tells me I can’t go somewhere by myself and I roll out with a call full of stuffies…he needs to be able to appreciate my creativeness even if he does have to punish me (not saying that he would HAVE TO punish me of course – giggle-)

#4 – Crave the power exchange.  If he needs to choose my panties every day, remind me to exercise, drink my water, go to bed, stay away from pepsi then he should DO IT, not ask me if he can.

#5 – Sexual…I need to be used sexually and I need to be used hard.  Fucked not only for my pleasure but for his as well.  CSM use to call me into his office when eh was stressed on something.  He would bend me over his desk, whisper in my ear “Not a word Little One” and pound the hell out of his pussy.  He would then fix my clothes, kiss my forehead and send me back to my office.

#6 – Protective…I have shared a little recently on my blog that I have a bit of social anxiety in some aspects.  I am 5’1 and in large groups of people I have a fear of getting separated from my group or run over by people not watching where they are going.  I don’t need him to make a huge things just pull my arm though his and hold me close.  I hate to order when dining out so I need him to order for me and not make it noticable that the wait staff make my skin crawl.  I am always nervous I am going to piss them off and they will spit in my food or they think I am stupid when I order from the kids menu or just judging me for my food choices period.

#7 – Assertive and firm in his role as my Daddy. If I am wrong then tell me I am wrong.  If I am to be punished don’t ask me if I should be, tell me to assume the position, and if you don’t like something then SPEAK UP because if he doesn’t then I will and its down hill from there.  As the Daddy it is his right to lay down the law and my duty to follow.  If I don’t know the law I can’t follow so there’s the pickle.

#8 Able to communicate his needs and desires to me.  I want to be useful and to serve him.  I can’t if he doesn’t tell me what he needs.  If he doesn’t tell me when I have let him down then I can’t fix it and if he doesn’t tell me that he misses me or appreciates me or even desires me then I am caught up in my own head telling myself god only knows what and that could be a problem.

6. How are you different from other Little’s? I think what makes me different is that I am not JUST Little.  I have my Little needs, but also, I have the slave needs of desiring TPE and to hand over all control to my Daddy.  I have my primal feline needs and need an orgasm to relax and center myself so I’m a little more slutty than other Littles and I have found that I am a little to straight forward or more so than the others that I have meet.  I get to know a Dom first, without considering him as a “Daddy” possibility.  I don’t judge his kinks or pass but want to know HIM.  When they press me to be “their’s” I have no trouble saying “thank you but no thank you.  In the past I have had Dom’s ask why and I have told them, if he was meant to be my Daddy he would not have to ask for my submission, it would have already been leaking that way and all he need do is pull me in. I have only asked myself twice if I would submit to a Daddy and each of those times I should not have and stuck to my gut feelings.

   7. Knowing what you do now , is your search different when looking for a Dominant than lets say 2 years ago ? Yes it is, before I had a “vision” of what my Daddy was going to be like and over this journey I have meet and talked to to so many different types that I have found that what I WANTED and what I NEED are totally different.  I am more aware of who I am, of how I became this way and more secure in WHAT I am.  I don’t’ let labels define me or others but learned to use them as guiding points on my path.

   8.How important is it to be who you are?  It is VERY important to me!  I have found that when I try to be something that I am not, I am not happy and it causes problems for me.  I NEED to express all sides of my personality.  I NEED to be free to be me or I can’t be happy and I tend to start to resent the situation preventing me from it.  I have to stress I grew up ACCEPTED for me, over protected for it yes but accepted none the less.  My brothers know my short comings and took care of me.  They never made me feel less for it but always made me feel loved that I can balance a $50,000 budget at work but suck at balancing my own check book.  MP never made me feel less of a mother because I use to have Disney movie days with the kids growing up but would rather come over and build the blanket fort for us (I suck at the structure part of it -giggle-).  I am smart, sexy, sassy, snarky, and slutty and I am okay with that  so everyone else should be as well.

   9. Are you looking for a Daddy who is looking for a family , meaning to include your children a father figure ?  My children have 2 wonderful fathers who have worked together to put aside their ego’s and co-parent 3 wonderful children.  I would expect for my Daddy to join that tribal at some point but to also understand they have FATHER’S who provide for them, he will be back up where needed and when they are with us.  Our triad has always include my oldest daughters step mother Tru and I would hope that my Daddy would join us in the same fashion.

   10.  You had mentioned you are primal when it comes to sex , could you explain what you mean by primal ?  For me, attraction isn’t based on a certain “body type”.  In person, its been the way they smell, their voice tone, or even the way that they carry themselves.  It makes my nipples hard, or my panties wet and I want to know more.  I find myself watching them, learning them and plotting their down fall into my bed.  I have often sat a dinner and just craved to run my tongue up their neck and have even done so a couple of times, the need to taste them that strong.  I am submissive in my relationship needs but when it comes to sex my feline has her own.  She will use whatever is necessary to be feed.  I have used puppy dog faces, sad eyes, tears…to weaken a Dom and get him to let down his guard and pull me close.  Once he does I use what I have learned about him to my advantage to seduce him.  Nibbling his neck and saying the words I know turn him on, running my hands along his chest.  I actually had a guy whose weakness was stocking and heals.  I “twisted” my ankle and when he was rubbing my foot to check for swelling I started rubbing his crotch with it (silly Dom’s – Giggle).  I call it “breaking the Doms” because afterwards they will apologize afterwards for taking advantage of me which always makes me giggle.  They ask why giggle, I admit the truth and they get all “Domly” and “explain” how it will be from that point on.  I always grin and say “OTAY” and it becomes an issue I’m not repenant about my actions.  If you want to make me sorry, punish me, if you don’t then just accept that I enjoyed it and lets move on.  There have been those that I wasn’t able to seduce and found them all the more that repremand and firm putting of me in my place…just YUMMIE!

There have been men who capture my attention with their words, in fact, I never really know what will capture my feline side but once sighted she “hunts” them.  There have even been a few times when she had discontinued the hunt finding someone lacking or not the meal she envisioned them to be.  Funny enough, I have never regretted sex with anyone but I have regretted a few relationships (giggle)

11. You stated some of your friends do not agree with your primal side , is there anything you would like to say ? I wouldn’t say “AGREE” with my primal side but it was hard for them to understand that I am okay with my slutty needs and side.  I don’t’ view sex the same as them.  I need a connection to have sex so I don’t just fall in bed with ANYONE but when I feel that connection and attraction…I just want to ride him like a pony at a carnival or suck him like a Tootsie Roll and I’m trying to answer the age old question…how many licks does it take to get to the center (giggle).  However I am also a little more vocal about my needs and have no shame on how people take it.  I am not A SLUT, I am HIS SLUT and I’m okay with that.  However I also had to realize that my friends were concerned out of love and now they understand that I am not just slutty but I am safe and slutty.

    12. You are a little but how much control do you want to give up in a relationship ? I NEED to give up total control in my D’s relationship.  I am seeing a TPE (Total Power Exchange) where I know that my Daddy is the boss in all things.  Now this doesn’t mean micromanage as I am a pretty smart girl but I do want to always answer to him.  I want him to take charge of my weight loss, my eating and sleeping habits (they are HORRIBLE) as well as to ensure that I am not blowing my money on ever Dooney/Coach bag that I see (giggle).

I love checking in with my Daddy when I am away from him, having to ask for permission to masturbate (orgasm control) is such a turn on to me, and knowing that he CARES if I do or don’t do these things makes me feel truly loved and secure in my relationship.  I think that many don’t realize that growing up the way I did, my uncle and brothers showed me the benefits of submitting to another’s will so it comes natural to me.  I don’t’ feel the need to buck or fight, once I have that faith and trust in someone I can exhale and let it go.  Maybe that is a down side to the way that I was raised…but it is what it is right.

Vile