The Collar part IV I think

The collar is very sacred to me, even more than a wedding ring. Over the years the collar has lost its meaning as well,It no longer has the same meaning or effect it once held.

Often in the past it could take a year or even several to earn a collar. Even today if something is given to you, it does not mean as much as it would if you worked for it.

I am speaking for myself, others may have different thoughts or opinions and that is ok.

I have a check list I follow, and a collar is not even mentioned until the check list is complete. Being able to follow rules , protocols, directions and of course the ability to please , not just in a sexual context but conversation, taking a interest in my hobbies and thoughts. All of these come into play before thinking about a collar.

My initial training is roughly 90 days, during that time, I do give a collar of protection. This could be a chain or a simple piece of leather. It lets others know in the lifestyle she belongs to me.

It could be less time but generally 90 days or so will bring out the true intentions. Is the slave serious? Is the lifestyle for the slave, mentally and emotionally?

Although sex is not the main course, it does play a Hugh part in any relationship. So the first 90 days is pretty intense when it comes to sex. I use on a daily basis, how and when I want. I had friends over and Arianna would be under the table blowing me while we all talked. At times asking her to lube me up, she would ask with lube or my mouth? Good girl. She knew what was next.

As far as training, the same goes for the master, true colors come out in about 90 days. Is he real or is it just some fantasy? If not real he will become bored pretty fast because it’s really a lot of work.

One year after we met, we were married and I collared Arianna during the wedding ceremony. One year it took for me to decide on collaring. Now I would of still married her, why? In today’s time it is nearly impossible to find the one, I mean it took me 45 years. Much of those years were my fault, moving from relationship to relationship. Yup my failures and mine alone. Many want to blame the slave but in reality it’s the masters fault, most of the time.

A potential slave meets a master for the first time, he has already stopped my pet supermarket and picked out a nice pink dog collar. The two don’t even know each other and after 20 minutes of conversation, he slides the dog collar to you. I want to collar you and make you mine. Ok! You don’t even know the dude and he wants to start training by sucking his dick in the parking lot. Do you not know how to suck a dick already? At this point, he has no real investment, well ok the 12.99 he spent at pet supermarket.

You know absolutely nothing about him and he knows less. He does know you have a mouth and pussy he is ready to conquer.

The collar, a sign of ownership, two people are dedicated to each other.

One of the push backs I received with potential slaves was the collar. Most refused to wear 24/7 because they were afraid of people noticing it. Arianna has worn hers for 10 years and one person made the comment he knew what it was, that was the end of the conversation.

Arianna threw me off because there was zero resistance. She did what she was told without question. Here is something, it was after we married and collared her before she fell in love . That is the truth, it took well over a year.

Now I am just a average looking guy and Arianna is smoking hot. How did I do it? I stayed focused learning from my past mistakes. I stayed the path and did not change, if anything I became stricter.

Just don’t let some dude give you a dog collar.

Our Second Wedding Anniversary

Wow I cannot believe how fast time has flown by. Arianna and I have come a long way and we have grown together and we continue to grow on a daily basis.
You know one thing I do is encourage Arianna to get out and she does from time to time. She has a dear friend who is like her second mother she visits on a regular basis and then she visits her mother as well , without me which is nice.

In the past she has been invited out with the girls and again I have encouraged that as well, I believe a Slave needs down time, it helps clear the mind and gather you thoughts.
When she was invited to a girls outing for lunch she did not want to go because we were not going together…. It was just Wednesday night at Karaoke someone said that we compliment each other so much. Ahhh we did a duet together it was Wanted Dead Or Alive by Bon Jovi. We had people standing in front of us singing as well. I think they were supporting Arianna because I am sure I butchered the song. I was already into 3 maybe 4 drinks.

I may post a Video of Arianna singing here soon. She really has a beautiful voice and I am not saying that because of who she is.

When your with the right partner you not only want it to work , but you have a need for it to work. That need will never fail you, the want will fail you but not the need. It took many many years to learn that those two were different and that both had different meanings.

Something I had to learn was what I wanted out of a relationship ,but to go deeper is what I needed out of a relationship . The need will over ride the want , a want is a passing thought a need runs much deeper. I want a 2015 Dodge Challenger SRT8 Hellcat but that is not a need.

It took me sometime to be able to tell the difference between a need and a want. Some years ago I went through cars like people go through water , every month or two I was trading up or down what ever I thought my need was at that time, well it was not a need it was a want.

It took me sometime while being single to realize I was talking to people but not talking , they were talking at me and I was talking at them. The only thing you get out of someone talking at you is Boredom and you never get anywhere. Many times leaving a restaurant I was thinking to myself WOW that is an hour of my life I will never get back.

After my breakup before meeting Arianna , I went into well mot hiding but I just wanted to be left alone, I refused to let depression set in, so I needed to take time and gather my thoughts and decide what I wanted out of life and a slave.
I found the perfect place out in the middle of bum fuck Egypt , a one room log cabin about 900 square feet but it was perfect, little did I know it would be short lived because the floors had black mold and I started getting sick after about 6 months.
I had just gotten over the bleeding ulcers that landed me in the hospital for 30 days and about 18 days in ICU. Here I was again extremely sick. This really sucked because I was just getting everything together.

One day while at work I was dropping off someone in a less than perfect Neighbor Hood and I saw a few guys working on a house, as I walked in I asked if the place was for rent or sale, as I am looking around , new floors , new carpet in the bedroom, new kitchen cabinets , new tub and a new washer and dryer.
I got the owners number called him and wired him the money that day. My rent was 535.00 with lights , water , cable and internet included, and it was a nice house on the inside but when you walked out it looked like a war zone.
I lived there for almost 3 years and I never had a problem it was quiet at night and that is all I really cared about.

I had gathered all of my thoughts and I knew what I was looking for, I was tired of being talked at. The truth is you can tell when someone is truly interested in you.
I had already made arrangement’s to move when I met Arianna. A few months back I was standing in the front yard after a MAsT meeting talking to two other masters and one made the comment how lucky I was and it was like Arianna fell from the sky.

So here we are some well almost 3 years later and who would of thought. Life is good and I can honestly say we have had way more ups than downs , and even today we continue to grow.

So June 15th 2013 we along with some very close friends standing on the beach in Daytona near the light house, standing there as the sun started to rise and the ceremony began,
It was the first time in a very long time I got this knot in my throat. Slave began the ceremony and as Arianna stood there looking at each other I had this warm feeling come over me. Once we were married , we had a small sand ceremony , followed by the collaring.
After the Ceremony was over Arianna and I invited everyone to the Hilton for an awesome Breakfast.

We are not sure what we will do on June 15th Arianna just wants to go out to dinner but I am sure what ever it is it will be awesome..

Much love to everyone

Vile

BDSM The Problem Is The Lack Of Education

I am always starving not for food well yes I am but Arianna has put me on a diet , well she did not put me on one I agreed to go on one. I am starving for information when it comes to the lifestyle , I watch , I listen , and I ask questions. I am a people watcher , I watch and I listen, I am observing how someone sits , how they use body parts when talking , or sitting and bouncing knees when talking , nothing gets by me. Just meeting you , you have about 15 seconds to make a friend. I have very few friends and I have my reasons, my number one is drama , and two most of the time when you have a friend they have a motive , what can you do for them? Fifteen seconds to make a friend and I know after the first 15 or 20 words out of your mouth is I am going to like you. I can count on one hand and tell you how many true friends I have , and these are friends who would drop what they are doing if I ever needed them or something.
Even on Fetlife most of my friends on my profile I have met I have 49 friends and I have met roughly 40 maybe a little more. Someone will send me a request who lives ahhh I don’t know Dallas Texas and I look at their friends list and they have 5.000 friends man please. I have added people who follow my blog, and most of us email each other, but if you have 500 friends how are you going to make time for me?

The era of the internet , it has exploded over the past ten years , you can find anything and it is right at your finger tips. Dating sites have exploded , craigslist WOW , and even BDSM sites.

Before the explosion The lifestyle was still around it was just not as easy to meet people, so you had to kinda feel people out , it was like dark and underground. More Taboo , or sick , kinda like incest.
People were sneaking around not wanting people finding out who or what they were into. The long Trench coats with hates to cover their face , it was really funny.

There were kinky parties , Private dungeons you had to be invited to. You would be met somewhere , interviewed then a decision was made to let you come or not and many times the answer was NO.
Safety was a much bigger issue , the older Dominants looked out for the subs and slaves. The older Dominant would school the younger Dominants, it was a very tight group group a small community.

San Fransisco wow Broadway st. I was at a titty bar one day and had been there since it opened around 10am around 7pm I walk out then sun had gone down , and it looked like the village people convention , of course it did not help when I called the police and reported my car stolen and it was parked across the street. After the sun goes down San Fran is a different city , and I suppose at the age of 20 it was intimidating , as much as I remember. I enjoyed visiting fishermans wharf and china town the food was awesome.

While stationed at Ft Ord I happened to stumble across a few kinky clubs , but people were paranoid , kinda like smoking pot and you keep looking out the window. Sitting in someones house thinking they are going to be raided at anytime. I found this to be very awkward because we were doing nothing , except talking.

Even today most who are in the lifestyle are scared and ashamed of who and what they are. BDSM has to be a secret no one can know. What will my fiends think of me ? What will my family think of me ? Co-workers today all someone has to do is google your name , and it is out there. I was in my yahoo mail a month ago or so and I was messing around with the settings or something , and I called Arianna in because I found pictures that were taking in the 90’s online and I had no idea they were there.

It is not like I care but if something happened to me the last thing I want is my family going through my stuff and finding , rope , leather hoods , leather restraint’s , vibrators , rope put away all nice and neat. and a large dog crate in my closet and we do not even own a dog. So okay my family knows , most of my friends know well okay all because I do not have any vanilla friends..

Okay so your a professional and you do not want your life all over the break room, well if you think no ones knows, then your some kind of stupid. Over the years at work Ive been called out or little remarks were made and for the most I just ignored as if nothing was said , unless it got to stupid for me then I would speak up.

All of the above falls back to a lack of education and for the most you cannot educate the vanilla world because there is way to much stupid going around. People are so judgmental, politically correct , wanting to point fingers, telling you how your abusing your partner. The truth is it is their life that is all fucked up , and you know it but you cannot say anything.

I am not saying you put a BDSM patch on your back and announce to the whole world your kinky , but why live in fear ? Why worry what someone else thinks about you ? Why worry if your family finds out ? These people you worry about are any of them making your car payment ? Your house payment ? Maybe they want to flip the bill for your next service on your car ?

Living a double life is way to much work and I would imagine it is pretty stressful as well. Maybe kinda like Batman , or Superman

The lack of education within the community , where Arianna and I live there is Zero gatherings that off any type of lifestyle education. We did attended a munch Thursday night , fuck what a long day we had. Wednesday night one of Ariannas friends wanted to go to Karaoke , so you know me I was game. The Retro Room is the name of the bar, its okay the service for the most sucks, but the drinks are good. So after talking with the DJ for a little the blonde Bartender comes over and she says Tequila sunrise ? Yup thank you. So about every 20 minutes she would just bring another , and another , and another , then I asked for a double, and another and another, and when my face was numb I stopped, I knew I had enough. I love hearing Arianna sing and one night I will record it and post the music.

Although I drink some when we go there it had been a long time since I had been sideways , or what some may call blind, but I was feeling good. The couple that came is new to the lifestyle and I am trying to be nice on Arianna’s behalf because she really likes the submissive, who is really not submissive she is only acting the part because of her partner. Okay enough of that.

Home late I am feeling right and up at 7.30 out the door and we head to the west coast to a park called Fort Desoto.

Arianna wanted to go sea shell hunting for her salt water tank , so her little crabs would have new homes. The water was incredible I was chest deep and could look down and see my feet and all the small fish swimming around. At one point two manatees swam as near as a hundred feet from me , that was awesome.

So off we go head home we took a half hour nap , and off to a munch we go , I am some kind of tired. The restaurant was a small upscale place , with finger foods and wine. What was really awesome about 25 people showed up so the place was packed. They were suppose to close between 6pm and 8pm but they also had a wine tasting going on at the same time.

The topic was suppose to be safe words, but with the layout of the place it was almost impossible and with people walking in and out made it impossible. It was brought up to the moderator that there was no need to have educational classes and a monthly get together would be just fine.

Okay no problem but now you can start to see a pattern now , this is all about change and in someways I do understand but for the most I do not.
I have been talking to the moderator for a couple of months about getting something going and she agreed until Thursday night..

Last week I contacted MAsT International and I requested a New Chapter Formation Petition. So now all I have to do is wait it out to see if I can get approved.

http://mast.net/history.php

MAsT International is an educational based group for all genders who believe in power exchange relationships. Groups are held for all to learn and participate. Monthly discussions on topics about the power exchange relationships. Which would include safety, relationships , structure and so on. Like many Munchs or gatherings there is no play parties it is strictly educational.

The Weekly and monthly group Arianna and I attend , we were hoping the moderator was going to put something together as far as something educational.
That would of meant I could of helped instead on taking on a new project. That is not going to happen so now I will take things into my own hands. The key is to schedule so there is no conflict with other dates in the local community here, which can be done with ease.
I also believe in this area a MAsT would do well because there are those who are truly interested in learning , and we also have a population of around 200.000. Where we live it is called four corners meaning four counties are connected , so I am not just servicing one county.

The Kink side of BDSM is just a treat but it is not the base of the relationship. The enjoyment comes from the power exchange as long as it is consensual.
Setting the foundation , moving into the needs for the two, then exploring the inner self as you both continue to grow. Taking each and every step so it allows you to define your relationship, a TPE relationship can be awesome. It is when you start to try and cut corners , this is where the problem come into play. Once your negotiations are set in stone you can then move forward.

Stephan Pot here on wordpress sent me a comment about a collaring ceremony he was invited to , and was stating how intense it was. Collars are earned not giving because you want to own someone. As with anything it means nothing or has no value if something is not earned.

The education process has changed so much in the last 10 years , I do know change happens , and at times change can be good , but what I am finding what you are finding , what we are finding people are getting hurt , relationships are short lived, and some even take their own lives. This stems from the lack of knowing , the lack of education and the lack of caring.

Vile

Collar Me

Although this has nothing to do with the now Defunked Collarme.com , it does have to do with a real collar. The collar is very symbolic to me , in my eyes it is a sign of ownership.

The Collar actually covers three things in a BDSM relationship. Ownership , possession , and the most important is commitment. You combine those three together and the Dominant is saying he is willing to take full responsibility of you.

When meeting someone for the first time , I make it a point to never bring up the collar or the process. I never use the words under consideration either. Those two words cause your stomach to tighten up and you get a huge frog in your throat. Now your scared because you don’t want to fuck up.

I as a Dominant have never used the words Under Consideration , or Training Collar. I have used a Collar of Protection when going out to a public function, but no way was it a sign of ownership.

The Last thing we as Dominants want to do is set someone up to fail , or have that feeling they can fail. We all know there is no failure. If your relationship does not work then it was not meant to be.

As most know Arianna and I were Married at sunrise on the beach. We also had our formal collaring ceremony. A Slave WHO RUNS OUR local MAsT performed the marriage and collaring ceremony.

You are receiving your collar , and with the collar comes not only a commitment but a lot of responsibility. You should want it to be special as it is special. You are giving yourself.

Collar (BDSM)
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

In a BDSM context, a collar is a device of any material worn by a person around the neck to indicate their submissive or slave status in a BDSM relationship. A person wearing a collar to symbolize their relationship with another is said to be collared. Some people conduct formal “collaring ceremonies,” which are regarded as effectively solemnizing their relationship in a similar way as a marriage ceremony and the collar having similar significance as a wedding ring. The standard form of a collar is a black leather band around the neck, often with metal D-rings added to allow the attachment of a leash, rope or other restraints; but to be more discreet in public, some people may wear an ordinary choker or jewelry necklace for the same symbolic purpose.

Collars may be used in role-playing games involving erotic humiliation because they have connotations of control and pet-like status, especially when worn with a leash.

In my younger days I did not have a clue , I was passing out collars like food samplers in walmart , but I will admit the Collar is a true Aphrodisiac it truly stimulates ones mind and it could of been just a regular dog collar I paid 2.99 for. Indeed 2.99 was a cheap piece of ass, snap it on and I own you.

So a Collar is earned , it is not just giving. You the Submissive , or slave has steps you have to take to prove you want to take the relationship to the next level. This is done by not only complying , by following rules , protocols , task , and doing so without any resistance. The Dominant will provide the training but it is up to you to make everything work.

Everything is not just thrown at you , the Dominant has standards as well. You must make sure the Dominant has your best interest in mind. You must make sure he is committed to you. You must make sure he is going to dedicate the time needed to train you. You must make sure hew ill communicate all information he will share.

Velcro collar is an increasingly common term, used derisively. The old guard leather community was very protocol oriented and stressed serious lifestyle involvement because of safety issues. More recently, however, email, Internet chat rooms and instant messaging services allowed the curious to participate in casual (and often anonymous) D/s relationships online. The velcro reference indicates the tendency for online dominants and submissives to have new online collaring ceremonies frequently and without regard for existing relationships which end as easily as not logging in.

Vile

Collaring Your Property

A Dominant gets that feeling when he first meets a slave or submissive.
The entire time while in deep conversation we sit there in deep thought, it is almost like being in another world, a world of our own.

I sit and listen, while I am talking to myself, my mind in soaking everything in. The words, the facial expression’s, hand movements , posture, hair, makeup, jewelry , the way she is dressed. Yes even down to the hands and nails. The way she drinks, the way she picks up her silverware , the way she eats, the way she drinks, I am taking in all of this information, yes even the way she ask and answers questions.

When I met Arianna I knew within the first 10 minutes if it would be possible to build something, I knew a relationship was highly likely.

Yes while it is true the first thing I noticed was her beauty, perhaps the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She carried herself very well. Nicely dressed, very feminine, her hair was almost perfect, and just enough makeup. Her hands are small, her nails were done. That is one of the first things I look at when it comes to a female. Nails hands and feet, and no I do not have a foot fetish. It is a sign of how good they take care of themselves, and how much they care.

Remember I am looking for a relationship, not a fuck buddy, or a piece of ass on the side. I was not looking for someone to suck my cock when I was lonely.

Every question had a purpose, every answer had a purpose. If I asked a direct question, I wanted a direct answer. If I did not get one I would ask the question in a different way same meaning different question.

My questions were not even BDSM related, they were about life, hobbies, likes and dislikes, food, music, work, and of course health, such as anxiety and depression. I wanted to know Arianna inside out before we parted for the day.

As a Dominant you want to get to know the submissive or slave as a person. I want to know there is a compatibility factor coming into play. I want to know we are going to have more in common than just BDSM.

You can teach someone how to suck cock, you can teach someone how you like to fuck, that is the easy part.

Your goal as the Dominant is to become friends, you cannot do that in just one or two meetings.

As I am talking to Arianna, I was imagining the type of collar she would wear, how it would rest around her neck.

See I was looking at the whole picture not only the now but the then, way down the road. I was picturing the two of us together, being out. Long drives going to different places. The whole picture, if you just live in the now you never get anyplace.

I use the word Property because it means ownership. When you place a collar around someone’s neck you are taking possession, thus the word property comes into play.

Many use several different collars, the consideration collar, the training collar, and a few others. I do not use any of those for a couple of reasons.
The slave or submissive is already under a lot of stress. I cannot even imagine what is going through their mind. I believe when we use the different collars we are in fact setting someone up for failure, because if it does not work out, this will cause a crash. I do however use a collar of protection this is worn when going out in the public to different BDSM events, such as Munchs or MAsT.
So I suppose at times I make up my own protocols, but I am me and I am the manager of my team, as a matter of fact I own the team.

We as Dominants or Masters should provide all information upfront. We should set the pace as far as how the relationship is going to go.
Meaning your going to go into some of the things you are going to include in your training. The structure you are going to help with, the communication. I believe as a Master we should have an open door policy. We need to let our property speak freely and express their needs, and if they have any questions or concerns.
I explain everything in such detail so that when I am done there are no questions.

I never tell someone when training has started, I just begin, you start off with small steps. The last thing you want to do is give someone a brain overload.

That is the same with Rules, Rules are meant to improve ones daily life. Rules are meant to build one up, remember taking bad habits and making good ones.
It is my opinion rules should not have anything to do with sex, because your going to get anything you want as a Dominant or a Master.
Telling someone they cannot masturbate for 2 months is not a rule, that is an ego, and nothing more. Telling someone they cannot masturbate has nothing to do with improving someone’s daily life.

Once we agree to enter a D’s Or M’s relationship we are then taking full responsibly for that slave or submissive, we have then made a total commitment, we have giving our word we would be there for them and only them.

My way is not the only way, and I know this, but I can show you the simple steps you can take so you can avoid all the headaches.

A dead give away, a Dominant tries to give you a collar on the first meeting, or even the first week, the first month.
That is a sign of desperation on his part, or he just wants to use you. There are way to many men out there that use a collar as a fuck tool. When your offered a collar you are sitting on top of the world, In our lifestyle there is no greater honor. To wear a collar your Dominant has offered you.

What makes the collar more special is knowing you have earned it. You have completed the training, well the start of it because it never really ends, but you have gotten to the point, the Dominant knows he has done well, and you have responded well. Now he wants to take ownership.

The collaring is meant to be special, it is meant to be remembered. When you get married does he just hand you a ring and say okay put this on we are married? Yea not to much of a special thing going on there.

It can be private, or you may have guest come over. You can have another Dominant preform the ceremony. You have a lot of options.

The collaring should start off with a conversation. The Dominant. I would like for you to except my collar, and these are the reasons why. A very detailed conversation, on the two of you, how you have grown, where your at now in the relationship, but more important where you plan to be in the future.

If your sitting at a Denny’s meeting for the first time, and your New Dominant reaches in his pocket and pulls out this cheap fake leather collar and says here put this on. I would hope you would call him an idiot and get up and leave.

There is a courtship in any relationship, be it D’s , M’s or vanilla. There is a process that each one of you take. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it does not, but do not let yourself be taken advantage of.

You the submissive should sit down with your Dominant and pick out your collar. Remember this is a huge step, in your journey.
What type of collar can you wear on a daily basis. When I collared Arianna at our wedding, I made it clear once I put it on it would never come off, and she accepted that, and to this day it has been off one time so a jeweler could look to see if he could add a Diamond to it. She wears it 24/7 and yes even to work.
The funny thing is no one has ever questioned her about it, or even mentioned it, at work or just out.

You have earned the collar wear it with pride.

Vile

Our One Year Anniversary

Our one year Anniversary , being married and the day I put my collar around Arianna’s neck. Together two years , but it seems as if it was only yesterday

June 15th was the most Awesome day of my live, I became a husband, Master and Owner.

Vile

The Collar Is Earned

Over the years the Collar has lost much of its meaning. Today most come with Velcro, and many times the Dominant uses the same collar over and over, bought at a cheap adult store of even the flea market, and as your eating dinner out someplace its tossed at you and your told to put it on.

Just as the Dominant or Master has to remain consistent , the same goes for the submissive or slave, I am going to use an M’s relationship right now. A couple of weeks ago I made the statement that I did not believe a submissive should be allowed to wear a collar, for the most I still believe this, but there are true D’s relationships where the submissive does earn their collar, so I am kinda back tracking some.

The Velcro collar is really a your gonna suck my cock collar or I am going to fuck you collar nothing more. If you have earned your collar in a week, two weeks a month, you have to think what have I done to really earn the right to wear a collar. That should be your train of thought. Once the Velcro collar is placed around your neck the Dominants attitude then changes. He is more forceful, more arrogant , more non caring, you have seen this.

So the Dom you meet or Master they have to earn the right to be called Sir or Master. How do they do this ? They have to prove to you who and what they are. Surely this is something that cannot be done in a week or a month. They have to be everything they have told you and more. The Dominant has to prove that he has your best interest in mind, that he truly cares for you, that he truly wants you to be the best you can be. Again this cannot be done in a week or even a month, it is done by showing he can keep his word and stay consistent on a daily basis. So for someone to demand you call them Sir or Master is really pretty unrealistic. Who are you calling Sir or Master the Dominant or their ego? Are you going to feed into his ego ?

The Submissive or Slave earns their collar. How is this done ? It is by showing consistency , completing task on a daily basis, following rules on a daily basis, following protocols on a daily basis. Can this be done in a week or even a month ? If your thinking with a clear mind you know the answer. Would you marry someone on the first date? Would you marry someone the first week? I really doubt it because you really do not even know them.

When I met Arianna I gave her a collar of protection. We went to local events, I had friends over who were in the lifestyle, we went out to dinner with friends in the lifestyle. I wanted her to see both sides of the fence. I wanted her to see other couples and how they lived. I wanted her to make new friends which has not really gone very well. Most of all I wanted to show her how a real M’s relationship worked.

I made no demands when it came to what she wanted to call me, for the longest she called me Vile, a month into the relationship she started to call me Sir. It would not be till almost a year before I placed a collar around her neck. The truth is she had proved way before she deserved my collar. As a matter of fact the first time I offered she refused stating she was not ready.

When we talk about a D’s relationship compared to an M’s relationship we are talking about two different worlds. Arianna has no rights at all. Arianna has no say at all, Arianna makes no decisions at all. Now this could be a bad thing if I did not have her best interest in mind, but the decisions I make effects both of us, so it is very important I keep a clear head. Because what I do does not just effect me it effects both.

June 15th of last year at 6.45am we were married, at that time we had our collaring ceremony, both the wedding and ceremony was performed by a slave. I placed the collar around Ariannas neck, and it has been off one time, and that was when we went to a jeweler to see if he would be able to add a diamond. It is locked, she cannot take it off, nor has she asked to take it off.  She does wear it to work, yes she works with the public. She does wear it around her family they know of our lifestyle, she does wear it around my family they do know of our lifestyle. She has the need to wear the collar, and when she reaches up to touch it, it reminds her of who and what she is.

Both have to remain consistent, both have to be willing to give, both have to have the want to give, both have to have the need to give, you have to have all of these ingredients for the relationship to work.

Once the collar is placed around the neck and it is locked it should not be removed. This is my belief.

There are play collars that are used, I do understand that. There is nothing wrong with wearing a collar during play. Wearing a collar during play gives the submissive a feeling of loss of control, maybe a little humiliation comes into play , it does spice things up.

There are several different collars. A collar of consideration, a collar of protection, a training collar, then the formal collar, so use a collar of ownership. I use two collars. A collar of protection, then the formal collar.

I am not speaking from a D’s aspect, I am strictly speaking from an M’s side of things. Master and Slave.

If you earn your collar, you will get so much more out of the relationship. If it is just giving to you, what meaning does it really have?

Vile

Toot-Toot Blog Tour Coming Through

Okay first of all I would never in my lifetime use the words Toot Toot. I just wanted to clear that up. Second of all I do not usually take part in others blogs, but I have had a change of heart, maybe I am just getting old, or a little soft in my age. Nah Probably not soft.

I get behind on things sometimes because well I guess when I open a fire I let it spread, some get out of control, but after much work I am able to get it put out. I love everyday challenges , I thrive off of challenges . Every day life and things that are just thrown at me.

So here is the link Wet Bliss here on wordpress and her Blog Tour Coming Through…

http://wetblissdotme.wordpress.com/2014/05/15/toot-toot-blog-tour-coming-through/

So now on to the questions.

 

1. What am I working on at the moment?

I am currently trying to put a book together. I am also working on a new Internet Radio Station that should be up and running around the 1st of July…. My Slave and I are also considering adding another Submissive to our home. I did say Submissive and not Slave.

2 How does my work differ from others of its genre?


As far as my book I believe it will hit home because it is more about the abuse others experience in the lifestyle and what to avoid. Key questions a Baby Girl , or a Submissive and Slave should ask new Dominants they meets. The dangers of having sex on the first meeting. We as Dominants can spend hours writing about our life in a M’s Or D’s relationship, or we could speak about how I think a relationship should work. I for one am totally against any type of abuse, in the lifestyle or not. . So maybe if I am able to touch just one soul and make a difference in their life, then I have done what I have set out to do.

3 Why do I write what I do?
                                                                                                                                                                       

I want to open the doors to my world and let others in. I want to show what a true Master and Slave relationship is like. June 15th 2013 I married my slave and we had a collaring ceremony at the same time. It was also a Slave who married us and performed the collaring. Arianna and her spent days putting it together. So at sunrise to the south of us was the ocean and to the North the ponce inlet Lighthouse. I can say her collar as been off one time for about 4 minutes and that was to let a jeweler look at it to see if he could add a diamond. My slave wears her collar 24/7 and yes she does work in the public eye.

4. How does my writing process work?

My Writing comes from my life, thoughts come to mind, but it also comes from being out in the everyday world. I am an avid people watcher, more so if the female has a nice ass. I am a butt man…. Sometimes I come home after a 12 hour day at work and I am just exhausted. I enter the bed and my brain kicks in. I am like mother fucker noway.  My writing also comes from others blogs when I read about abuse…. Who knows how my brain works because I do not have a clue….

So there you go Wet Bliss, I shall pass this on to a couple of my truly Favorites….

P. S Coming soon Vile Radio The Kinky World Of Vile. You think you like my blog just wait til you hear it live.

Vile

The Collaring Process

Now before you jump the gun, there were several submissives who contacted me last night who were agreeing with me.

 

Many today are still pretty confused about the collar or how one earns one. There are also many Dominants since the 50 shades of grey has come out that do not have a clue. Since the books have been out Dominants have been popping up like weeds in your yard.

Sometime ago the collaring process could take 2 to 5 years for a submissive or slave to earn their collar. It has only been in the last ten years or so that this has changed. The consideration time, the training time depending on the submissive or the slave could go beyond the 5 year mark.

Today a submissive can earn a collar on the first date, eh maybe 30 days, which seems to be the average.

Just to let everyone know it was eight months before I collared Arianna, it would of been six months but she refused my first offer. I am not sure if everyone knew that or not.

So I had to regroup think things out, figure out what I had missed, I had to do a little restructuring change things up a little. Wow she really told me no. It turned out good though and I would not of changed anything.

So the collaring process this was before the pansexual epidemic hit the world of BDSM everybody fucking everybody. Zero control, open the trash can throw all the structure and protocols in it. Fuck who needs rules we are just going to have sex. You want to fuck my slave sure man have at it. Those of you who do not know what pansexual is.

There you go

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

Pansexuality, or omnisexuality,^[1] is sexual attraction, sexual desire, romantic love, or emotional attraction toward people of all gender identities and biological sexes.^[2][3] Self-identified pansexuals may consider pansexuality a sexual orientation,^[3] and refer to themselves as gender-blind, asserting that gender and sex are insignificant or irrelevant in determining whether they will be sexually attracted to others.^[4] The Oxford Dictionary of English defines pansexuality as, “not limited or inhibited in sexual choice with regard to gender or activity”.^[5]

The concept of pansexuality rejects the gender binary, the “notion of two genders and indeed of specific sexual orientations”,^[3] as pansexual people are open to relationships with people who do not identify as strictly men or women.

 

So here comes the change , and don’t get me wrong I welcome change to an extent, I am probably the most open minded man on earth you will ever meet. I do have friends who are pansexual dear friends who are pansexual.

That is one of the problems today with poly relationships even when there is a Dominant involved there is no structure , no rules if there are rules there are no consequences if rules are broken, and there are zero protocols, and those of you who have been to BDSM events have seen just what I am talking about.

So yes today you can earn a collar on the first date, but does it really mean anything to you? What did you do to earn it? Because you swallow ? Okay I am not saying everybody sucks cock on the first date. If I dated someone or met someone and I just wanted my cock sucked and it was in the parking lot of Denny’s guess what ? She did not get another call, I lost her number. Okay I am guilty of that I knew there was no chance of a relationship but she may have been hot or I liked the shape of her lips. If you fuck on the first date nah not for me, second yea possible you already have that connection.

You should want to earn a collar, the collar should be very special to you. The meaning of the collar is pure ownership. You have giving yourself, and have agreed to let someone take over your life.

Let me tell you something , 98% of the time if you do not live in a 24/7 setting it does and will not work. It may work for a short time six months to a year, but it will not work. If a Dominant cares enough about you to put a collar around your neck, then he should care enough about you to move you in, or there may be the case where you make more money than he does and it makes more sense for him to move in with you. If he has a job, and a car, and is able to obtain work once he moves.

So you put your Submissive or Slave under Consideration , in some protocols there is a Consideration Collar , this collar can be taken off when going out or to bed or when company comes over. How long would you consider someone before you decided you wanted to go forward with a relationship ? That would really depend on the two.

The Training Collar this is a collar giving to the Submissive or Slave so the two can begin their formal training. Again this collar can come off when needed, or can be worn just at play time or when your Dominant is present.

How long does the Training process take. Well with Arianna I am going to say Hmmm the real in depth training was 90 days and a total of six months, and we are still going after almost two years. I have found that during our relationship I have had to add things and take away things.

The Collar , the collar of ownership. The Collar should be something that is picked out by the two, it should be something that is agreeable by both the Slave and Master or the Submissive and Dominant. Then a ceremony is planned if your anything like me I wanted it to be special. That is why we decided to do it on our wedding day at the same time.

The Collar on the slave is to be worn and it could on be taken off by the Master. Dominants and Submissive’s are different very few wear their collar 24/7.

It was funny Arianna went to the dentist to get her Teeth cleaned she has the whitest teeth I have ever seen, anyway before doing X rays they asked her to remove her necklace. She replied I cant , and the Hygienist said why ? Arianna said its locked and I do not have the key. A Few minutes later the Dentist came in and looked at it and said he had never seen anything like it in his life, but they were still able to do the X rays.

The term Daddy Dom and Baby Girl is relatively  new to the lifestyle. It is a Term that emerged about 15 years ago maybe a little longer but not by much. I was looking for some kind of date but I could not pin point one down. Any way there are a couple of difference stages of a Daddy Dom and Baby Girl.

Most are not sexual those who are truly growing up little’s, although it  has nothing to do with incest , the girl is usually around the age of 10 or 12 and at times younger. I have known some to even wear diapers. Most of the time a Daddy Dom has more than one baby girl, but the baby girl rarely has more than one Daddy. A lot of Daddy Doms are married and very few live with their Baby girls.

I am going to share a link from a Tumbler that a Baby Girl wrote to give a little more insight.

http://daddystendertouch.tumblr.com/Whatisadaddy

Now my reasoning behind the not collaring. Most Daddy Dom and Baby Girl relationships lack any type of structure, almost no protocols and I have seen this when out at different functions as well. Most are not long term. A Baby girls first daddy is seldom the last one. Although there are rules, rules are seldom followed and many times there are no consequences. I have never seen a Baby Girl with a collar on, and believe me when out I am a people watcher. The lack of respect when out towards their daddy is something less desirable. Again this is the growing up little’s I am talking about.

The other relationship The Daddy Dom and the Baby girl is really not age related, again very new to the lifestyle, but we try to except everyone, mainly because everyone is different, our kinks are different. So The Masters and Dominant open our doors with open arms. Munch’s MasT meetings and so on. I find it at times the baby girl to be very disruptive , again no protocols , no rules, and back talking their Dominant right there is public.

Then to have someone who is not a Slave or submissive because most Baby girls are only submissive when they feel like it. Have the nerve to criticize how someone else lives, or simply say that is wrong. Um wait you are at a BDSM munch Bondage Discipline Sado Masochism. .

We talk down about things we do not understand, we judge people because we do not understand, and even when you try to explain , they already have a mental picture in their mind, your fighting a losing battle.

Several months ago we went to a Munch In St Augustine Florida. Arianna could not believe how disruptive some of the subs were and most were Baby Girls and their Daddy sitting next to them like nothing was going on. At times we could not even hear the presenter, and at this time the moderator should of stepped up and showed a few people to the door. This is not the only instance…

Most Baby Girls when collared do not wear their collars, they only wear when they have that feeling of submission come over them, or when Daddy states he wants the collar on and then it is for play.

I take the lifestyle very very serious, as does Arianna . Last night we were talking about getting another collar, and I had found some that looked like eternity collars but they were made out of aluminum. She said NO. She said I am not going to down grade, the weight for one it would not have the same effect. Okay I understood.

When people disrespect the collar in my eyes it is the same as burning our US Flag. That is how serious I take my lifestyle. Sometimes I even hate the word lifestyle, if you think about it I am not a lifestyle I am me.

The collar not not have to be a big bulky leather one, or even an eternity collar, but something to represent ownership. How many of you can reach up right now and touch your collar?

Again these are just my views, my opinion and nothing more, but if your going to attend a BDSM event show some respect and be respectful of others.

Vile

Tomorrow The Collaring Process And Why The Daddy Dom And Baby Girl Is Not Included

I am going to walk you through what I think the collaring process is.

I am also going to give my reasons why a Baby girl should not be collared.

I’ve been down and out had a few teeth pulled and ended up with a bad infection.

Much love